this is a good book make sure yawl read it everybody please read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love this book it was amazing is there a second book? if so let me know so i can read it thnx and keep up the good books <3 :)

Well, I can definitley see the improvements in your writing since the last time I read your work. It was definitley a lot more fluent and easier to read.
There's just a few minor errors in the way you aproached your dialogue! It's definitley a clever idea and different from any othe book, but you need to stay consistent. Multiple times in the book youd have...

NAME: blah blah, I said.

...The I said at the end of the sentence is redundant and unnecesary. Also you shouldn't write about what the character is doing while still in the dialogue format you've picked.

NAME: blah blah, I said as I passed the ball.

Instead write this...

NAME: blah blah
I passed the ball

Hope this helps, and please keep me updated!!! I'd like to know what happens between Kelly and James!!!