I don't know what I expected, but your story really touched my heart. It is not easy to have a special person in your life. And even with all the thoughts of self, they still make us reach the better parts of ourselves.

I have several special people in my life. I know how it feels to be ignored, but then there are those "Jelly Bean" moments. They make all the difference.

Well done.

This is truly a fabulous piece of work Stephanie. I was personally asked by a fellow member, Glen Marcus, read your short (which you say could grow - but sometimes, the perfection of a piece like this - the true impact is its brevity as it's a slice of life seldom seen through the eyes of those who do not know, do not understand)

There are a few minor spelling errors here and there (BTW, on page 5, the paragraph starting with 'Ah' - the word Dodo is missing the 'o') I'd be more than happy to help you iron them out as I enjoy helping our newest members especially those who are fairly young and have such obvious talent -- grow that talent.

At first I wondered what it was about but then, with the repetitive nature of the actions and the awkward stares - I figured out that your little Dodo bird is autistic. And you've put such a lovely, almost touchable feel to this very misunderstood disorder, that I think there are many parents (and siblings) of autistic children who would read this and be moved to tears because it is honest.

You've emulated that sense of love and loyalty - frustration and anger - regret and doubt that families coping with the disorder deal with on an everyday basis. No one quite realizes how vexing a simple trip to the store can be for children with this disorder - and yet with your 'wise beyond your years' words, you've made it something we can all learn from.

Thank you for this beautiful piece. And as I said if you'd like any editing advice, I'd be more than happy to help you along. And when you've got a few more stories under your belt, perhaps you just might wind up on my Book Review site as an up and coming author!

Of course, you'll need to prove to us that this one story wasn't a fluke (and I don't think it is - style like that is innate and must be honed.) Besides, I figure it's a great way to urge you to write even more.

Cheers to ya,
Avery Brown,
Moderator, Serious Writers
Author, Editor, Publishing Consultant

Stephanie! Wow!

I have read your short story, “Flightless Bird.” It was powerful, moving, and refreshing, because it is different. It has been quite a while since I’ve read a story that moved me that much. I could be wrong, but I sense that this is a story of experience rather than fiction.

Beautifully written with deep emotion that pulls the reader into the story, at least it did for me. My wife and I raised a son who was deaf and a right leg amputee from birth. His older sister expressed much of the same feelings and emotions that your story brought. I guess you could say they had a love hate, brother and sister relationship.

It is definitely a powerful story of life that brings emotions full and raw. Well written.

Roger

A well wriiten powerful story of life.

Flightless Bird.
Extraordinary. It's so difficult to write in 2nd pov (unless it's a cookbook!). I am smiling after having read this remarkable short story.

This can be deadly in the wrong hands, but your use of anaphora was classically gorgeous. It mirrors James' condition. How impressive. Loved your narrator's trains of thought, and the public reaction(s) to young James so much.

Forgive me (and this is praise), I thought of that wondrous novel, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" as I read, even though the pov was totally different. Your short is unique. Congratulations, Stephanie.

This was a very touching and heartwarming story. I found myself immersed in the thoughts of your POV. The story was rich with the voice of this girl forgotten and her emotions so openly displayed. Short, but enduring.

You missed one 'my dodo bird' around page five, before the second beep. Check your tense again, you missed a few. But other than that it was well written. I'm adding to my favorites. Nice job.