Sweet! Update soon please!

did she get raped cus stuff like that upsets me so tel l me if she does and i wont read the rest but from wat i have read its gd

very good. well written, but you need to fix some little stuff like past/present tense. the thoughts were in a different tense than they should be. thoughts should be in present tense, like 'i'm going to kill him, then drink him dry and free his girlfriend and show her the body so she knows hes dead' not what you have. actions should be in past tense, but you pretty much had that down. i was just giving an example.
thats really the only thing that bothered me. your still a novice, right? dont worry about it. all good things come with practice and revision and practicing the wrong stuff correctly. youre doing well. dont give up. defeinetly keep going!
please let me know when you update!!!

Thank you for your comment and I will keep everything in mid as I write.ill most likely update it some time tonight

as Pooh would say! Where's the rest? I don't like cliff hangers! LOL

Good beginning. Need a little editing polish, but they are simple fixes. All of us, especially in the beginning make similar mistakes. I know, I just had to go through editing for 4 months. But....great story beginning. You move right into the action. You set up the girl as an innocent who has run across an impatient boyfriend who has an ego problem. Sounds realistic enough. So now comes the hard work, building the rest of the story. Let me know when you have added more. Good job. Robynn

PS - Nice cover

ther is a few tiny mitakes. but appart frrom tht....I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!! RRYYYYYTTTTTTTTT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE plz

This book is awesome!!! Please update soon!! I want to know what happens next!!! ;D

wow the book just got even more interesting. cant wait till you write more. keep up the awesome work:)