but i stil think you need to add more that isn't just dialogue. the book is just pretty much all dialogue right now! try checking out this discussion link for help with the "show don't tell" aspect of writing:
http://www.bookrix.com/_groupforum-en-let-s-get-to-the-bottom-of-this-dang-show-don-t-tell.html
it's pretty helpful!
Thanks Bookzilla! i will take your advice, and let you know when i update the book!
your story is really good so far, but you could definitely add more descriptions. right now there's a lot of dialogue and stuff like "and then i walked down stairs. and then i went in the car. and then i saw sad" but you need to really describe what is happening around her and how she is feeling. i think you could make this a really amazing story if you would add more descriptions about hannah's feelings.
please let me know when you update!!!