good book

great book!!!!

Great job !

It had everything - the set-up, the meeting, the conflict, and the happy resolution. Awesome!

Another of my quick notes - the possessive form of "my" is "mine," not "mines," which are places where you get stuff like gold, silver and coal, lol! A lot of people add the "s" at the end because it's a possessive, but in this case, it's also irregular, so you don't need the "s."

Anyhow, beautiful story, nicely written. I agree with sophie18 - do a sequel with them married and let us know if they had all those kids Jaden wants! "D

good job. it was interresting and made my day. lol...

Its a really good book you should have kept on writing about how they got married and if they had kids!!

This is an erotic and sensual book worth the read.

There are some edits that need to be done, I am wondering why you chose to use the center justification for formatting your sentences? It looks good, but you would need to space better between paragraphs, just add an extra space line.

To keep the POV straight you did a nice job by announcing the change, but take out the "POV". We know it is his POV just by you putting his name at the top of the chapter break.

There are some grammar issues, missing 'the' type of connecting words. The best way to identify this is by reading the sentence out loud. Does it sound right to your ear? If your first language is not english, then have a friend help.

Have you connected with anyone to do a read through for edits? It is hard sometimes for the more erotic/sensual authors to get the 'professional' editing by connecting with others.

Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more. If you need more help drop by the XXX group!

Gwen

I cant believe its finished! Wish you would contuinue.....;)

Write soon PLEASE!!!!!!!!!