Wow! Thanks for the thorough review. I'm glad you liked it. I hope the same for other readers too. =-)

"Well done, Laster, well done."

Overall scores:
Premise: Excellent+
Character Development: Superior-
Action Sequences: Fair
Story Development: Excellent
Diction: Superior

In depth:

Amazing premise; well thought out and clear to the point. Brava, my friend. (Side note: Good idea on not fully explaining the time warp thing. Anyone who tries to make that exhaustively plausible is shooting for a mile high target with a spring cocked airsoft gun.)
Character Development was great, all the chracters were clearly defined, but you went through the trouble of including her grandfather and her father when only one character was needed for the role. I tend to over populate my stories and thus this is something I could work on as well but that is all the more reason to point it out for future refrence.
Action Sequences... Alright, so there was only one technically, and it wasn't the focus of the scene. But it was a chance to use symbolism of character. The way a person approaches a combat situation can tell you alot about their character. A viking, for example, would probably favor brute bashing and wide swings where as a master combatant of our time would prefer a little more finesse or, to fit the instance better, a more flexible fighting style. Just a thought though and seeing as it wasn't the focus, feel free to ignore this entire section.
Story development moved along at a nice and fitting pace. All was introduced and resolved in a satisfying manner in less than 24 pages. Good work.
Originality of the story is something I commend you on. You were able to work within a psuedo historical setting, worked with the difficulty of multiple languages for increased authenticy, and still wove a great tale worth telling. You get a kupo nut.
Diction was smooth and well used. You are great with descriptive words and were able to keep them coming without too much recycling. I award thee the mark of a Lore Weaver(Were it mine to give).

Excellent work, Laster. May you continue to pursue the author's path.

Hope it wasn't too incoherent,
-Keiran Gomlok

I'm glad you enjoyed the reading. I know you were a little disappointed by my phrases, which seemed off to you. But are you certain they shouldn’t be there? The era Myriana belongs to is not told in the story, but shown. You mentioned me comparing the heart beat with an out of control jet ski over the waves. I said that on purpose. Why? The object ‘jet ski’ places the reader in the modern era, as well as the phrases ‘gramps’ and ‘party pooper’. I didn’t make a mistake, I weaved it in purposely to not tell my readers the era, but so they can figure it out. LOL. You see, this is one of the things writers and dedicated readers need to watch out for. Objects and expressions can help place the reader in a time frame without being told, but if you see modern items and expressions mentioned in an historical novel, then we have a no-no. It’s like for example, if you have a character who’s never seen the world and been isolated in a forest, the author can’t use modern phrases or similes of things the main character wouldn’t have the slightest clue of. This would fall under inconsistencies, a big no-no, and this is something we should always watch out for. Hope this helps with the confusion. Thanks for reading. =-)

CAV LASTER

I was definitely drawn into the story and found it believable. You don't tell us what era Myriana lives in but I did find that for me one or two words or phrases didn't sit quite right in this epic/romantic context - whatever era. Examples are "heart beat like a jet ski", "party pooper" and "gramps".Other people may like these phrases of course. Otherwise I enjoyed it very much and enjoyed entering your imagination too.

I'm glad you liked the improvements. And thank you for your vote. I have voted for you too :)

I want to thank you for making sure my Italian phrases were proper in their usage. Many thanks!!!

I appreciate your suggestions.
http://www.bookrix.com/showuser.html?user=autoincognito

No, she didn't wake from a dream. Let's just say the portal literally gave them a glimpse of what would have happened if she found and accepted this Viking in her life. And it also helped her appreciate the love and happiness Vittorino was offering.

Okay, it finally went through its final stages. I'm not going to add more nor have it edit. Thanks to my editor, we tweaked and polished up this baby in hopes of winning the hearts and minds of my readers. Thanks again for your comments and reading the story even though it needed work. LOL. I hope the rest of my readers will enjoy it more. Take care! Many thanks. CAV LASTER

It is an interesting story. Good luck to you.

Carmen

I enjoyed the story as I'm a science fiction writer. The setting was good and the characters. Where I thought you changed the mood/voice was slightly before chapter 4. Maybe you were running out of words but I noticed a summary of most things happening so when the story ended it ended only in time. But there is always a wa out of that sort of set up once you are aware of it. Best wishes and good luck.
Cleveland