Brooke,
Your story is touching and very well written. You have a very unique imagination, I look forward to reading more of your work. :)

This is a beautifully-written little piece, like a snapshot that captures all the important details and gently pulls the reader in. Very well done, indeed!

Gooduklady:
I fixed all the errors you mentioned. Just a note:
I changed "find," to "object," and did not change "pick it up." My reason for this is because she removed the shards that lay over the little purple thing she saw. Then, she picked the purple thing up, not the shards. Everything else was changed as you recommended. Thank you very much :)

A nice short read! I enjoyed your story and would like to let you know that you are writing wonderfully. Keep it up!

Brooke you are only thirteen years old, yet have written an absolutely beautiful short story. Almost everything was perfect about it. I shall give you a few things to change that will make it 100% perfect, so here goes:

1) The mom looked DOWN at her little girl. (Unless mom was sitting, she would not be looking up at her child).

2) "She removed the shards that lay over the find." What is a "find"? Did you mean floor?

3) "...and picked it up." If you are talking about more than one shard, it should be ". . . and picked THEM up."

4) "He must of known" should be "He must HAVE known."

Make your edits and you will have a piece to be proud of. Well done. Valerie