A simple, touching little story. Very moving. I think you could slightly change the bit about the town planners as it sounds like the voice of a younger man talking. Other than that I thought it was beautiful.

and we march into time, I certainly can relate as I sit here with that leg aching and a husband who can say 'what's her name?' when speaking to me about me...ah the joys of winding down.

This was good. I've kept...Paula

and thank you for your vote in the BOW. I guess we should be friends, now that we're no longer strangers.

Thanks for sharing, it's a nice story of an opinionated older citizen who seems to think he's 45 competing with early alzheimer's and long term memories that haunt him, trying to come to grips with change in ways that bring us as readers to more closely understand where his failing outlook stems from...great move isolating him in the park where only nature and the negative aspects of the aging process distract the reader. C...

for your kind words. This story is in the current BOW. how do you feel about voting for it on the BOWIII voting forum?

I enjoyed your story very much. Thanks for sharing your talent! Elizabeth

Hi Brian,

You have a poet style to your prose. I like your conversational tone.

Pg 8: The sound of bat on ball echoes in the twigs snapping in gusts of the cold north wind. There is something not right about this sentence.

I liked your story. Good luck.

Bek :)

Many thanks proof reader, I need all the help I can get.

As usual, you have written beautifully. I can see the old codger walking through the park, becoming more and more confused, and then just running out of puff. Your descriptions are perfection, and the only tiny, weeny critique I have is this: "along" should be "a long", and "coalmine" should be two words. Excellent Brian,loved it.