Great story any more

I now have an idea! =D and I’m trying to work on it…
I’ll look for places to put the hyphens in a little bit…
I’ll go check out that forum in a little bit too…
And thanks, you too! And I’m happy to have you as a friend too =) Which reminds me…I have this poet friend that would probably like to talk to you, I’m gonna have her make an account on here soon.
Thanks for the advice,
~Bravey~

...soon enough, if you keep up this pace!

Great job with the dialog!!

I also noticed that you have a good idea of how to use hypens. I was noticing how you applied the rule (if you have two adjectives before a noun, then they are usually hyphenated), when you wrote "cerise-tinged water". I'm wondering if the same should apply to "briliant blue eyes". (I'm just learning these things myself).

There is a great forum on this site than I've learned a lot from. "Learning to Write Better 101". There was a discussion on the use of hyphens awhile back. If you'd like to join, just go to your "forums" tab, and look for any forum you might like to join. You can also upload your book, and ask for helpful critiques (just start a new discussion).

I'm very impressed with your writing, and wish you all the best. I'm very happy to have you as a friend too :)

Take care,

Robin

Thanks! =)

The dialogue and hyphen thing, good idea. I'll go fix the dialogue thing in just a sec.

And actually...the 'Clan' idea is from Erin Hunter's Warriors series, this is just a fanfic from that series. I DID create LeafClan and all of the characters in this story, though. I'm still trying to find a good idea of my own for a book idea...

The only thing I will suggest, is that you seperate your 'dialog' into paragraphs of their own. That's about all I could notice that might need a little help at this point.

There are also a few places that could use hyphens (not a big deal though). If I have time in the coming week, I can just quickly tell you where those are needed, o.k.? (I just learned these two things myself,from friends on the site).

Other than that... I am just blown-away with your talent at such a young age. Wow.
To have it this 'down', with 'themes', 'clans'...you've created an entirely new world of your own. You are leagues ahead of many writers, twice your age.
Beautiful! :)

Great work,

Robin

thank you flicka! =D

Good job and poor spottedpaw thank fully she lives in wolf form Hay ill write a quick story over Snowpack K :) :)