Loved your story, LOVED the ending, definitely a surprise, kind of funny too.

Well this is my first entry at BookRix and I'm encouraged by the response. I really do appreciate you guys reading my work. Fingers crossed that I get those votes!

I think the story was told with perfection. It was a nice read, thanks.

You told an interesting story with few words, so you held the reader's attention. You could easily expand the story into a novel.

Thanks for sharing your short story with us.

Well written story with a believable twist ending.
Got my vote.
Charlie

Ben, I really liked this story. I loved the ending. It allows us to decide how it will end. I agree that it stands alone as a short story. But it could also be continued as a novel which I would love to read, Best regards, Rena Kay

Loved your story, Ben....very original with a surprise ending. I think it stands alone as a short story...but would be interested in reading more. Check your punctuation....that is my only critique. Would be so happy if you read my story, The Man on the Train. Good luck to you, and well done.

Love it! I think it stands well on its own, as a short story.

interesting plot good way to bring the story up to speed good luck with the book

There’s something so special about this short story, a hard-to-define tone that nevertheless draws the reader deep into the specific moment. I look forward to reading many more...Good Luck!