You have to add more! This is really good!

book 2 book 2 book2 book 2 book 2 book 2 book 2 book 2

please tell me when you add more, i'm very interested!! Very good
~Rain

Keep writing! I loved it

Not bad, there were several small grammar mistakes and a few spelling mistakes so I would recommend a little editing, plus a couple inconsistencies I noticed as well. But over all quite imaginative and could be developed into an intriguing story as well as having some good sex scences wwhich I feel is what you are aiming for eventually. Good luck with writng the rest :)

thanks for the feed back and i will let you know when i update :)

I love the book.It is deffinately a good start but you may want to work on describing everything a little more.