I am looking forward to it! Write it now, sounds great ...

Oops...duh! The story was GREAT! I really enjoyed reading it. So heart-touching & sweet. ~(*;*)~

I hope u remember me for a favor in the future...when I complete my book on BookRix! Hope u get it!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/dyanna.gallaher or
http://www.youtube.com/PsychicDyannaG

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's close to my heart and dedicated to many friends I've lost through the years.

Congrats on such touching work! :)

Thank you so much for the feedback...and the vote! I will have to edit tomorrow. Yes, it's only 70 pages on my computer! Of course, most screenplays are 120 pages.

Also, there's no script, really until page 7. Still, yes, there can be less dialog. I come from a stage background and we're "talkative" people!

Great attempt. Well done.

Don't worry about the format too much because it's not a strict criteria. In any event you've done a good job here, seeing as you haven't used a script formatting program. If you are interesting in formatting it properly, download Celtx for free.

Two comments from me. Yes it's too long. 120 pages works out to two hours screen time. In my experience, keep your stuff as short as possible for BR contests.

Remember the camera gives you a lot of visuals, so in a script actions can often speak louder than words. If you do want to go in and reduce it, you could strip out a lot of your dialogue.

My other comment is about your occasional action lines. You can only write what the audience can see. So when you say something like Page 26...
'She slams the phone down a bit hard.'
You would only need to write 'She slams the receiver down' or 'She hangs up'. Keep it simple.

All in all you've done a good piece of work here, so you've got my vote. good luck in the contest.
Wendyxx