Aw man... Why did you have to stop there? please write more soon. I'm dieing to know what happens next.

overall i like it just i dont like how she had the dream was all scared but did not really offer any more information on what she dreamed later on in a conversation the reader is left hanging a little to much maby offer a little more to grab attention and keep them guessing but not overdoing it but overall it is interesting looking forward to more

Johnsten showed in his desire for a closer relationship. You have a keen awareness of how to build the relationships between your characters. Melody just melted into his arms, that's so romantic.
I also like the descriptions of the settings. Not just the falls but the journey to them made it much more interesting when you got to the romantic part.
Still you do need to run a spell check on the story. I know it is just a typo, because I do the same thing, but you spelled and "nad" twice. A spell checker would have caught errors like that.

Fact is, I am glad the comments section at bookrix has a spellchecker. Otherwise I would be embarrassed to write such a comment. So far I have stopped to correct at least 5 misspellings just writing this comment.

Keep up the good work.

Review - This story captures well the imagination, creating a desire to read more. I love the way you turn a sentence. For instance, "gently worn into dirt". You have an unusual voice.

Just like me, you need to polish the grammar,etc. But I know this is just a starting draft. You are developing it well. As a reader, you lost me on the descriptions of Johnsten. I would cut down on that paragraph and sprinkle those descriptions throughout the story. But that's just my opinion. This is your artwork, do as you see fit. Great job. Robynn

I was waiting for someone to write a fanfic about the Eragon books series. I really can't because I've only read the first book.

I really love your style in writing. But I'm still really wondering what the dream was about. I kinda have an idea but I'm still not to sure. I would have to agree with revkenr. About the questions he asked about your book. So maybe could you answer if you can, what we ask?

But other than those minnor details, you have started to creat a fine piece of literature.

First I will say I love the book so far. I do have some questions. These are not criticisms but things to look at in different ways. On page 8 you said, "His face was beautiful, pale from one of his parents,"

How did you know it was from one of his parents? Also later in the page you referred to him as a "dark stranger" is this the same person who had a pale face, and the whitest hair imaginable?

on page 22 It seems reasonable to put the letter in a different font from the thoughts about the letter, but there seems to be some of the thoughts in letter fonts. Also why would the continuation of the letter be in a different font from the beginning?

Like I said these are not criticisms they are just questions to consider.

It is a very well written piece of literature.

I am afraid this is the best feedback I am able to give you. I hope it is helpful.

I loved it! I really would like to read more!

I want to know what this dream is all about.

i love the story so far. i can't wait for updates.

You have a good judgement on how people respond to each other. They are conclusive and they each have their own reactions. I can really see their personality.