A really good story! It was nice to read.
Jennja

Angel, the mechanics of writing will come in time as you work on your grammar, punctuation and tenses, but you have the best tool of all already. You have the imagination and heart for writing that makes a story really good and very readable. Good luck and keep writing. I voted for you.

Enjoyed the story. I'm sure your aware there are grammar errors in it, and maybe some of them are intended.

Your profile says your 16 years old. So, I'll say excellent writing skills for that age. Having a difficult time explaining what I see as wrong with it. I guess you should make certain your grammar is correct during narrative parts, and let your characters speak in whatever manner you are comfortable with.

By the way, Columbus is a great city. Love that town.

Congratulations, great story!
greetings Gabriele

Too many typos and misspelled words. Names, like Angel, are always capitalized. But you sure do have a way with words, except for relevant didn't seem to fit with the rest of the story. But keep working at it. You can correct it up until the 15Th of October. It's a good message for people. Congratulations

Hey, what a great story.
I'm happy to have found it.

Hay, great story, you have talent for writing, keep going, greetings Anna!

I like your book. What needs to be done is to correct obvious spelling errors (there - they're), Capitals for names, some minor grammar problems and verb tenses, but otherwise an outstanding attempt to weave a tale that was very believable in the wealth and immediacy of description used to tell this story.

that was...wow that was kind of moral and like totally like wow....

all my best wishes for you, angel - keep on writing!