came back to vote

I have returned to vote.

Well crafted and very descriptive. Outstanding work, as always!

I'm a big fan of this type of story, where historical events unfold alongside ordinary lives.

You've told the story very well and I was pleased that the grammar and punctuation was intact, so that i didn't have to stop my enjoyment of reading the tale.

Until, i got to one little paragraph and just had to make notes, because if you fix that part, the ensemble would be perfect in my eyes.

Jimmy, his face tear-streaked with grime, spoke up. "There's an..."

I don't know what you call it in literary terms, but it's a badly constructed sentence. It should read something like:

'Jimmy's face was tear-streaked with....' Then just go into the dialogue.

You've ended with a proposition and also his face wouldn't be tear-streaked with grime. The grime would be tear- streaked.

It needs addressing, because when a story is so well written, the reader could stumble over it and spoil their experience.

'Suddenly' is a telling word. You need to show us the suddenness, not tell us how sudden it was.

And 'screaming people' can be improved. More like 'People screamed as they scurried for cover...

Should hell be capped?

That's it.

Overall, an enjoyable tale, which i hope will do well in the competition.
Well done.
Wendy
xx

This is a very powerful insight into the human spirit that combines fictional vision and factual history and creates an emotional connection between our history and our humanity.

The subjects and the era evoke feelings that are sentimental as well as inspirational

Oh heck yes. I think everyone's said it already, but good job! Smooth prose, fantastic descriptions, and an excellent story.

I give you an internet fist-pump. Well done.

In Canada, today is Rememberance Day (I believe Americans celebrate Veterans Day today, which is similar-ish...?). Good timing for this story. It's easy to forget the hell that those who lived through those wars went through. Thanks for the timely reminder.

I love this story. Like Renee said this is a masterpiece. I'm a fan my friend.
G.

What to say, that hadn't been said already? This tale grips you until the end, and shoves you into a scary world, where death and hope are mixed together.

The ending was a surprise, to me at least. Well done and goodluck.

Well done, sir. A great bit of writing here. Thank you for sharing.