Indiscretions (Part 2)
By: Morgan a.k.a zzmbrashear


Blurb: This is the second book to the Indiscretions series. In the first book Meagan meets Shawn. Meagan was just a seventeen year old girl with her whole life in head of her. Shawn was a twenty four year old man who had no idea what was coming his way. At first they aren’t sure of their love but they soon learn to love it more than anything. After a long battle of so many people trying to keep them apart, they try with everything they have to stay together because they know there love is strong enough. A while back Meagan was in a car accident. She was lead to believe that she was okay after she recovered but their was something lingering that no one, not even the doctors, saw. After figuring out she has heart failure, she has to get a transplant. Although Shawn is more than willing to give his own to save her, its not an option. Not long after being stuck in the hospital, Meagan finds out she is pregnant. Doctors suggest abortion but thats nothing she would think of, not even if her life depends on it. She has the baby and she comes out as a beautiful girl. They name her Meagan Lynn March Jr. because a beautiful girl should have a beautiful name just like her mothers. Meagan knew that she wouldn’t survive the birth. She knew it but she knew if she had this baby, that she would live on. She dies on the table and reunites with her Mother and Father in heaven. She may not be there but she is always watching.
This is the second book. This book is from Shawn’s perspective. In this book he finds out how hard it is to be a single parent. He goes through so many challenges and Meagan’s brother, Stephan and step father, Michael, are there with him. Shawn’s life alters. He tries to deal with the cards he was dealt but he can only be so close to breaking and still hold on. How close does he get? What happens to Meagan Jr.? Do they make it?


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Indiscretions Part 2
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I stood outside the window as the tears still, rolled down my cheeks. My hands placed firmly against the glass. My heavy breathing fogged the area in front of my face. I looked out at Meagan. Her little blue eyes were closed as she kicked her little pink feet.
“I’m going to do her right. I won’t let you down.” I muttered to himself. I felt a hand on my back. I turned around abruptly, praying it would be Meagan. That this would all be just a bad dream. Instead, it was Sam.
“Sam,” I cried as I laid my head on her shoulder.
“Sh, I’m here.” She hugged me.
“She’s gone.” I said as I lifted my head. She wiped my tears and fixed my shirt.
“I know.” She nodded.
“I, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I stuttered. My head felt like it was going to explode.
“Which one is she?” She asked as she walked towards the glass. I walked up beside her and looked at Meagan.
“There.” I pointed as a smile came onto my face.
“She’s beautiful.” She said as she put her arm around me. I nodded in agreement.
“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. She nodded. I got a nurse and she got her out for me. She handed her to me and I handed her to Sam. She made little fist with her hands as she waved them around.
“Hi, I’m your Auntie.” She smiled.
“She’s perfect.” I smiled.
“Yes, she is.” She agreed. I looked down the empty hallway as Stephan, Taylor, and Michael walked down it to meet me. They had just come back from saying goodbye. It was my turn now but I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I can’t say goodbye. I can’t. That would mean that this is all real. That would mean that she’s really gone. She can’t be gone. We’ve been through so much. She can’t be gone. It can’t be for nothing.
I stood up as Michael opened his arms. His eyes were blood shot, just like mine. We didn’t say anything, if we did then tears would fall and everyone knows men don’t cry. Stephan walked over to me and hugged me too.
“Where is she?” Michael asked. I pointed to Sam. He walked over and sat next to her. Taylor and Stephan walked closer to me.
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.” Taylor reminded me.
“I have to. Its the only way I will believe that this is real.” I hung my head so they couldn’t see me crying.
“Mr. March,” A nurse motioned me.
“I’ll see you in a bit.” I waved goodbye. I followed the nurse into Meagan’s room. She nodded as she closed the curtain so we could be alone. I looked down at her. She was covered by a sheet from her neck down. Her lips were blue. Her cheeks, pale. I bit my lip as I made my way over to her. My hands were shaking as I gripped the arm of the chair.
“Meagan,” I stuttered as I graced her cheek. Her skin was cold as ice. I shivered as I got goosebumps throughout my body. “How could you leave me?” Tears filled my eyes. “I, I thought our love was strong enough.” I said while I grabbed her hand. It was stiff and cold just like the rest of her body. I gripped it as I tried so hard to hold in the tears. “I miss you. I, I know you can’t hear me. I know this but inside me, I’m just pretending you do. I don’t know if you saw Meagan but she’s beautiful. You did so good. It breaks my heart that she wont be here to get to know and love you like I did. She’s going to miss her Mommy.” I chuckled as I thought about how identical they look. “She looks just like you, babe. She’s beautiful, just like you. She’s got your nose. She’s got your beautiful eyes.” I paused for a second. “I, I want you to know that I’m going to raise our baby. She’s going to know who her Mother is. Hun, I love you more than anyone could even imagine. I would walk through fire for you. I had a plan. To grow old and have a big family, with you. You were my life. You are my love. My only love. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through. I don’t know but I’m going to try. For you, I’ll do anything.” I gulped as I looked at her eyes closed. Her beauty, even like this, is mesmerizing. “I’m going to raise her like you would. I’m going to love her enough for both of us. Don’t worry about me. Don’t worry about us down here, ‘cause we’re going to be just fine. I love you, darling.” I said as I gently kissed her lips. They were ice cold on mine. I close my eyes as I realized this is the last time I’m going to touch her. To hold her hand or kiss her lips. Another tear escaped from my eye. I stood up and looked down at her. The nurse came in and grabbed my arm. She walked me out.
“I’m so sorry, honey.” She shook her head as she closed the door. She walked down to another room.
I took Meagan home that day. My room was changed into her room. I moved to the couch. There wasn’t anywhere that didn’t remind me of Meagan.
I spent most of the time in the nursery. I sat in my rocking chair with Meagan Jr. in my arms. I rocked her back and forth and held her tightly. She’s all I have left of Meagan. Everything is gone. Besides her, our love has nothing to show for. Everything we’ve worked for, is gone and the most important thing in my life went with it.
“How is she?” Sam asked as she stood in the doorway.
“Sh,” I warned her that she was sleeping.
“She’s precious.” Sam said while kissing her cheek. I nodded as I looked down at her. “I brought you some more formula.” Sam said from the kitchen.
“Thank you.” I whispered. She walked back into the nursery.
“Aren’t you going to lay her down?” She asked. I shook my head. “Shawn, I know you don’t want to let go of her. I know you feel like she’s all you have left. I know this. I know you’ve been through a lot but you have to set her down.” Sam shook her head. I stood up and laid Meagan down in her crib.
“No!” I shouted at Sam as I walked closer to her. “You don’t know what its like! You don’t know what its like to have the love of your life just ripped away!” I broke down.
“What about Lucas! Doesn’t he count?” Sam had tears in her eyes.
“Its not the same.” I shook my head.
“You’re right. Its not the same. Its worse. To have a child, taken away from you. Imagine having Meagan taken away from you. Imagine having to watch her slowly and painfully die. Just picture it for a second.” She paused. “Its easier to imagine it than live through it.” She said and grabbed her jacket. The door slammed as she left the room. Meagan stirred in her crib and woke up from the sound. I fell to my knee’s and hid my face as she burst out in tears.
“How dare you leave me!” I shouted. I was furious at Meagan. Everything we had. She gave it up. Without even thinking. She didn’t think. She didn’t think about how I was going to do this. How a single Father was going to be. How a child is going to feel without a Mother. Without a female idol to look up to. “I miss you! How dare you leave me! How dare you leave us.” I shook my head as I began to cry.
I walked to the kitchen and fixed Meagan a bottle. I tested it on my wrist as I shook it. I set it down and walked to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror. What was a scruffy look, now turned into a beard. Or what was starting to become one. My eyes were blood shot and puffy. I haven’t slept in days. Not because of the baby, because of the thought of losing Meagan. It soon became a nightmare. A nightmare I prayed I wouldn’t have to live. I needed to get out. When I look at Meagan Jr. , all I see is Meagan.
I put Meagan into her car seat and set her bottle beside her. I walked over to her dresser. I packed her a few changes of clothes. I put her little pink blanket in it and her brown stuffed monkey. I threw a container of baby formula and a couple of bottles and diapers in the bag too. I was about to leave just as the phone began to ring.
“Hello?” I asked a little irritated.
“Yo! Man, I’m heading to the bar. Lets get some!” I heard Josh say. I shook my head.
“I, I can’t.” I denied his request.
“Why not, yo?” He asked.
“Because I have Meagan.” I explained.
“Drop her off at her Momma’s and then get your ass down here!” He demanded.
“Josh, I can’t.” I said in a stern voice.
“Okay, listen. Just bring her to, to whats his face.” He tried to suggest.
“Who?” I asked.
“Baby Momma’s daddy.” He answered.
“She’s not a baby’s Momma!” I got angry.
“Fine, whatever. Just drop her off somewhere and meet me at JoJo’s in twenty.” He said and then hung up. Josh was always like this. He is a twenty four year old guy that talks like he’s ten and black. I don’t even think he knows real english.
I picked up Meagan and went to Michaels. When I got there the door was open. Inside Michael, Stephan, and Taylor were sitting on one couch and a man in a suit was sitting in the chair across from them. Stephan’s head was covered by his hands and Taylor was comforting him. Michael turned to me as I walked through the door.
“Am I interrupting something?” I asked.
“No, actually I was just about to call you.” Michael said as he stood up.
“For?” I asked.
“Shawn, meet Mr. Henningshaw.” Michael introduced me. Mr. Hennigshaw stood up and shook my hand.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” He nodded.
“Thank you.” I nodded.
“Shawn, Mr. Henningshaw is here to speak about Meagan’s will.” Michael gulped.
“Will? I didn’t know she made a will.” I was confused. I was with Meagan every single second of everyday and she never wrote anything.
“Yes, she made a will. In her will she was very exact.” said Mr. Henningshaw.
“Well, what did the will say?” I asked, still a tad irritated.
“Please, take a seat.” Mr. Henningshaw suggested.
“Hi, Taylor.” I smiled while taking a seat.
“Hi, Shawn.” She smiled back. I sat Meagan down in front of me and Taylor started to play with her. I smiled. Its something that you couldn’t help but smile at.
“Okay, now that we are all here, lets begin.” said Mr. Henningshaw. “First, let me clarify that Shawn March,” He began while looking down at his paper. “You’re the husband?”
“Yes, and Father.” I answered.
“Of course, of Ms. Meagan Lynn March Jr.” I nodded as he looked down at her and smiled. “And Michael, you are Father of Meagan?”
“Stepfather.” Michael corrected him.
“Okay.” He nodded. He flipped the page of his clip board and read another thing. “And Stephan Lewis, you are brother of Meagan?” He asked.
“Twin,” He breathed.
“Stephan,” Michael tried to stop his from saying more.
“What?” asked Taylor.
“We were twins.” Stephan stated.
“But,” She stuttered
“We are both the same age. We are both eighteen. We are twins. Born on the same day and everything.” Michael patted his back.
“Why didn’t you tell me this?” Taylor asked.
“Taylor, I didn’t know either.” I stated. How could she keep something like this from me? Its not something that you just forgets or something that just passes your mind.
“She didn’t tell you?” Stephan asked. I shook my head no. Stephan looked down at his feet while he leaned his arms against his knee’s.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taylor asked again.
“Because its a secret. We agreed at a young age that we wouldn’t tell anyone. We didn’t want to be judged. We didn’t want anything to compromise that we were two different people.” Stephan sighed. “She’s really gone, isn’t she?”
“Yes, son. I’m afraid so.” Michael patted his back.
“Okay.” Mr. Henningshaw nodded. “Meagan was very specific in her will.” He went on. He took off his glasses and setting down his clip board. “Meagan left her child with her husband of course.” We already knew this. I wouldn’t give her up for anything. No one will take her from me. “She leaves all her possessions to whoever may want them. She leaves her car with Stephan. She also wants Taylor to have all things from college.”
“Is that is?” Stephan asked while holding back any tears. I could tell this was harder on him than anyone else.
“No,” He sighed.
“What else?” Taylor asked.
“She left letters to each of you. This is what she had said.” He sighed again as he got out a white piece of paper. On it was the most beautiful writing I have ever seen. It was Meagan’s. She was so neat, so precise. “Hello, everyone.” He began. “I know you are all sitting here probably mad at me. I’m sorry I had to leave you all. Inside this envelope is five letters. One for each of you, including Meagan. I want you to read them aloud. I love you.” He finished. He got out the envelope and handed each of us ours. Meagan’s was the thickest of all. Michael went first.
“Dad,” He read. His voice began to crack as tears welled up in his eyes. This was the first time she’s called him Dad. Stephan held his hand as he went on. “First of all, I want you to know that you were the best Father I could have asked for. You didn’t sign up to deal with us but you did and that means more than anything to me. Even after the passing of Mom, you still stuck around. You loved her more than anything and anyone with eyes could see that. You were the rock that kept us stable. I know I didn’t treat you the best but I loved you. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there to keep up afloat. I love you, take care of Stephan and my baby girl. Love, your daughter.” He finished. By the end he was crying like a baby. Stephan waited a second to begin to read his. He slowly opened his letter and straightened it out.
“Stephan,” He started. “I know you hated being my twin, but I didn’t. I know we both wanted to be an individual and thats why we kept it a secret but I want you to know that I wasn’t ashamed. I would have proudly called you my twin in a heart beat. I want you to know that I love you, more than anything. I know you have a hard outer shell but you are warm and gooey on the inside and I know you know that. Everyone know’s it even though you try so hard to cover it up. Mom and Dad would have been proud of you just like I am. Listen, I know you like Tay so you better treat her right. Watch out for Shawn. He won’t admit it if he needs help. Sorry babe, its just a fact.” He read as he chuckled. Everyone around us chuckled, even me. Taylor reached and help Stephan’s hand. “I love you. Watch out for my baby girl. Love, your sissy.” He finished. He breathed deeply as he held in his sobs.
“Taylor,” She began. “I know we haven’t known each other for every long but it feels like I’ve known you my whole life. You are a ray of sunshine. You are too good for anyone who’s tried to swoop you up. I know you and Stephan will make a great couple. I once told him no girl will ever be good enough for him but I think I was wrong. I know you two are soul mates. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in his eyes. You’re perfect together so you better make sure he doesn’t mess it up! I love you with everything in my heart! If you ever need a reminded of me, just think about that time when you taught me how to surf.” Taylor immediately got a big smile on her tear filled face. It took forever but you did it. I was cranky and reluctant but you kept making me try. You are the sister that I’ve always wanted. Take care of Stephan. He may act like he’s standing strong but he will be breaking inside. He’s been through a lot and I’m not there to help him through this one. Love, the sister you never had” She finished.
I looked down at the unopened letter. My name was beautifully written on the top. I couldn’t draw myself to open it. I couldn’t make myself opened it and read her beautiful words.
“Shawn?” Mr. Henningshaw asked. I looked up from the paper. “Its your turn.” I took a deep breath as I opened it. My hand shook. Trying to steady it didn’t help.
“My beloved,” I began. “I know you are sitting here reading this letter. I know you feel like I’ve abandoned you. I know you hate me right now and thats okay. You’re aloud to hate me. I never wanted to leave you but you and me both know that I didn’t have much time left. Shawn, you were there for me through it all. I know we were a secret at first but we stayed strong. We proved them all wrong. I wasn’t scared and its all thanks to you. Knowing I was dying in the arms of someone who truly, with everything he had, loved me, made all the difference. I’m not worried. I know that you will raise Meagan Lynn just like I would. I know you want the best for her and I know you will do the best for her. You can do this, baby. You made my last days and everything before, the best times of my life. You kept me strong through so many obstacles. I know you would have taken a speeding bullet for me and I know you wanted to give me your heart, but baby, if you did that then I would have to live with that burden. I know that this seems unfair. I know it seems unfair to all of you but its life. It will go on. Just like Meagan and you will. I know you think this is too much for you to handle but I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. You are truly an extraordinary man and it was a one and a million chance that I found you. I know that I’m not there but and everyone says I didn’t even begun to live what a life is suppose to be but what they don’t know is that my life was complete. I had you, I had my family and thats all I needed. I want you to be happy, Shawn. You’re going to meet another woman. You’re going to fall in love, again. You are going to ignore it because you think its cheating or whatever the reason might be. Don’t. Don’t ignore it, hun. I want you to go after it. Chase it. Run head over heels. Don’t keep your love inside because you have enough of it to give it to the world. I know I wrote Meagan Lynn a letter but don’t read it. Not yet. I want you to give it to her and play the tap inside, when she truly needs it. When she’s got so many questions that you can’t answer. I know you feel alone but your not. Look around the room.” I lifted my tear filled eyes from the paper and looked around at everyone. They were crying just as much as I was. “They are here for you.” I went on. “You can do it! I’m always there. No matter how alone you feel, I’m alway watching. For all of you. I love you forever more. Love forever, you wife.” I finished. I had to catch my breath. I couldn’t stop crying. She’s really gone. She’s gone.
Taylor leaned over and hugged me.
“I know, I know.” She whispered.
“I can’t,” I sobbed.
“Yes, you can.” Taylor said sternly. “She believes in you. She knows you can do this. Don’t prove her wrong.” I looked down at Meagan. She was sleeping like a rock.
“Michael, can you watch her while, while I go and do something.” I stuttered.
“Sure.” He nodded. I handed the seat to him and handed him the bag. “Can I ask where you’re going?”
“To see a friend.” I answered as I left. I got into my car and met Josh at the bar. I stood outside the door, not sure if I should go in. Josh spotted me and waved me in his direction.
“Hey, man! How ya been?” He asked while giving me a hug. I didn’t answer. We both took our seats. “I’m sorry.” He spit out. I looked up at him. I didn’t know that he knew. “I just read about it on the television. I looked up at it.
“Nineteen year old, Meagan Lewis, I’m sorry, Meagan March was married name, died during child birth to her baby Meagan Lynn March Jr., daughter of the English teacher, Shawn March. Meagan and Shawn went through numerous trials to prove that there love could last after Shawn was accused of sexual relations with Meagan Lewis. She had heart failure and had no chance of living. Doctors suggest abortion but she chose to go through with the birth. After the baby was born Meagan died. Now, the child is in custody of her Father, Shawn. This shows that the good really does die young.” The reporter went on but I blocked it out.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know. Man, I want you to know I’m here.” He patted my back. Hearing all that on the news made my heart crumble into a million pieces.
“She’s gone. She’s really gone.” I mumbled.
“Lets get some drinks and forget all about her.” Josh suggest.
“No. I don’t want to forget. I don’t feel like talking about her either. Its just to much to bear.” I shook my head.
“Did you even love her anyway?” He asked while ordering a beer from the bar tender.
“To hear you even ask that makes me, I don’t even have words.” I said in disgust.
“Is getting torn up about this really worth it? Is she worth it?” He asked. That was the last straw.
“To hear you say that my love was uncertain was enough but now you say that she’s not worth it. Let me tell you that she’s worth it. She’s worth the world and more. You didn’t know her like I do. You won’t ever understand. You have no idea what we’ve been through. That girl was my world, my best friend. There’s no way you’re going to help me because she’s the only one who can.” I said.
“I know you’ve lost a lot but,” I interrupted him.
“No, you don’t know how much I’ve lost. You didn’t know her like I do. You didn’t go through what we did. I can’t forget. I’m drowning in all our memories and its tearing me apart. Just looking at our child makes tears come to my eyes. All these things fill my soul and I just can’t cope. Its like she stole my breath away. Don’t tell me you know because you have no idea. Don’t tell me she’s not worth it because you didn’t know her like I do. You just don’t understand.” I said as I stood up.
“Hey! Man, come back!” He shouted as I left the bar. This was a mistake. A huge mistake. Josh was never a good friend of mine. He’s immature and this is another reason why we don’e talk. Thats the reason why I never return his calls.
I got in my car and drove. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know but I know I had to get out of here. Just ten minutes on the road my phone started to ring.
“What?” I answered.
“Shawn? Are you okay?” Michael answered.
“Yeah, Michael. I’m sorry.” I wiped the sweat from my forehead. “What do ya need?”
“Meagan’s crying. She has been for the last half an hour. I thought maybe she would cry herself to sleep but she hasn’t.” Michael explained.
“Have you tried,” I began.
“She’s not wet, and she doesn’t want her bottle.” He said before I could ask.
“Does she have a fever?” I asked worried.
“Yes.” Michael gulped.
“Take her to the hospital. I will meet you there.” I said and then hung up. I made a ‘u’ in the road and spun out. It took let than five minutes to get to the hospital. A new record. Don’t judge me. I only did 90 m.p.r.... in a 45 m.p.h road.... Don’t judge me...
Michael was ahead of me the whole time. My thoughts were racing. I don’t know what I would do if I lose her. I can’t lose her. I won’t lose her. I refuse to.
I jumped out of the car and sprinted inside. Meagan was in my arms. Her crying still continued.
“Whats the problem?” A nurse asked me.
“She’s burning up.” I said frantic.
“I need Dr. Rice now!” She shouted as she took her out of my arms. It was hard to let go of her.
The nurse ran into a room and set her into a babies box. She started attaching cords and hooking up machines. I paced back and forth as her screaming increased. Sweat dripped from my eye brow as I ran my hands through my hair. Michael, Stephan and Taylor ran through the door.
“What are they doing?” Stephan asked.
“I don’t know.” I cried.
“Shawn, maybe you should sit down.” Taylor suggested.
“No, I need to pace.” I said and continued. The doctor ran through the door and started taking test. After about five minutes he spoke.
“I need you to leave the room.” Dr. Rice said. He began to try to assist me out the door but I stopped him.
“No! What are you doing to her! Tell me!” I shouted. He pulled me out of the room. Stephan and Taylor followed.
“Mr. March, I need you to stay out here.” He explained as he sat me down in the chair.
“What’s wrong with my baby?” I cried as I hid my face in my hands. Dr. Rice got on one knee and looked me into the eyes.
“It seems that Meagan has Pulmonary Tuberculosis.” He said very calmly. My eyes grew wide. Taylor stepped up.
“I’ve researched Pulmonary Tuberculosis before and the causes of it is poor living habits or poor nutrients. Meagan is healthy and clean.” She argued. He stood up to stand face to face.
“Thats the normal causes of this disease but in this case its internally. For some reason’s there were problems with her lungs that we didn’t see the first time.” He sighed.
“So this is your fault?” Stephan asked furious.
“No, we had no control over the disease,” He began but Stephan interrupted.
“But you could have stopped it from progressing!” He shouted.
“Please, lower your voice. We are doing the best we can.” He calmly asked.
“Wait?” I asked. “What is this disease?” I was lost.
“Pulmonary tuberculosis is a contagious bacterial infection that involves the lungs, but may spread to other organs.” The doctor explained.
“What can you do to help her?” I asked with my eyes closed.
“First is treatment.” He explained. “Does she have any allergies?”
“Not that I know of.” I answered. My hands were shaking as I lifted them away from my face. Sweat dripped from my brow as I stood up.
“Well, then we will start her on a round of Isoniazid and see if it works.” He said. I didn’t know what that was. I didn’t know what Pulmonary tuberculosis was either.
“Wait? See if it works? Why wouldn’t it work?” Stephan asked.
“Mr. Lewis, their is many reason why it wouldn’t work. For one, Meagan is very very young. Her body may reject it. I know this is a lot to take in but we need you to sign a waver.” He said and handed me a clip board and a pen. My hand shook as I slowly reached for the pen. Michael stood up and stopped me from grabbing the pen. He looked at me. He picked up the paper and read through it.
“This is a waver that says if Meagan dies you can’t be held accountable.” Michael looked up.
“Yes. We cannot promise that death will not happen. We can try and hope but there is no possible way to know for sure. In the event that it does happen, we can’t be held accountable.” He said softly. Michael exchanged looks with me. “I know that this shouldn’t be rushed but meanwhile your daughter is in there slowly dying. You have to sign it if you want us to treat her. Please.” He begged. I looked at Michael, he nodded to me. I firmly picked up the pen and sighed my name.
“Save my baby. She’s all I have left.” I begged him. He nodded and then rushed back into the room. I walked back over to my seat and sat down. I buried my face in my hands. Michael walked over to me and placed a hand on my back as he took a seat.
“Shawn,” He sighed.
“She’s everything I have left.” I spoke.
“I know.” He rubbed my back.
“I need her. She’s all I have left. She everything.” I lifted my head.
“I know.” He nodded. His eyes, big, were filled with tears.
“You don’t understand, I can’t lose her!” I broke down.
“Shawn, you’re pushed up against a wall. You don’t know where to go but you have to hold on. Son, I promise, things will be okay.” Michael said. Somehow I believed him.
“I want you to know that you are the closest thing to a Father than I’ve had in a long time.” I gulped. He hugged me.
“It will be okay.” He promised again.
The minutes felt like hours. The hours felt like days. What could they be doing in there? What’s happening?
I looked over at Taylor who was sleeping in Stephan’s arms. Stephan looked at me.
“How are you holding up?” He asked me.
“I, I can’t tell ya.” I looked down then I looked back up at them two. “When’s the wedding?”
“She says in a couple months. She wants what every little girl wants. A big, white, expensive wedding.” Stephan chuckled.
“Don’t take it for granted. Do everything she wants. You don’t know if today will be the last. Don’t give her up, never, not for anything. Not for a night out on the town. Not for the game. Not for work. Not for anything. Don’t.” I said in a stern voice.
“Okay.” He nodded. He knew I was serious. Dead serious. I looked up as the doctor walked out of the room. He looked up as I stood up. My eyes, begging, please please have some good new.
“Mr. March, please sit down.” He said.
“No, I’d rather stand.” I said. Taylor woke up as Michael took a seat next to her.
“Well?” Michael asked.
“The fever has broke, but it only decreased by a couple digits. We would like to keep her over night for more test and observations.” He nodded.
“I want to see her.” I said.
“I wouldn’t advise,” He began but I cut him off.
“I need to see her.” I demanded.
“Okay, okay.” He said while motioning with his hands. I walked into the room. I stopped in the door way. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see what was behind that curtain. I slowly, one foot at a time, walked to the curtain. My sweaty palms shook as I held it to the side.
My knee’s gave out as I saw her. She had a breathing tube in her nose. She was in a box. In the box it was very cool. I touched her hand as she reached it out but flinched at its warmth. I graced her cheek with my finger.
“You’re going to be okay. I promise.” I cried.
“Mr. March.” The Doctor said as he crept up behind me. “I think you should go home and get some sleep.” He suggested.
“I’m not leaving. Not without her.” My voice shook.
“Mr. March, we do not know how long she will be in here. You are no good to her half asleep. Please, get some sleep.” He begged. I nodded. I kissed her forehead.
“I love you.” I whispered as I left.
“How is she?” Taylor asked as I left the room. I walked over to her and leaned my head on her shoulder as I cried. She comforted me.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Not again.” I cried. She pushed me away.
“You listen to me!” She said in a stern voice. “You saw that beautiful baby girl in there. She is an angel sent to you. You are her rock. You need to be her rock right now. She will get through this. Will you?” She asked. I knew it was a rhetorical question. I hugged her.
“Thank you.” I whispered.
“Go get some sleep. She’ll be fine. I promise.” She told me. I grabbed my jacket and walked to the car. I got in and put down my visor. A picture fell out. I picked it up. It was of Meagan and myself. She was sitting on a swing set and I was behind her. The sun was hitting her face just perfect. She was perfect. A tear escaped from my eyes and dripped onto the picture.
“Why?” I spoke aloud. I got out of the car and looked up at the stormy sky. “Why me!” I screamed. “First my wife! My beautiful, amazing, and young wife! She was so young! She was innocent! Innocent, you hear me! She didn’t do anything! She didn’t deserve the pain! She didn’t deserve what she got! This isn’t fair. This isn’t how its suppose to turn out. This is wrong. This is all wrong.” I dropped to my knee’s. I looked up as rain began to fall. “How dare you take her from me! She was the only thing good in my life! She was pure! She was real! She was the real thing! How could you take that from me! How!” I screamed. My face burned with rage. “How dare you! You have no right! She was mine!” I cried. “You can’t take her too! You have to leave me someone!” I said quietly. “Please.” I begged. I looked up and saw Michael standing in front of my car. I shook my head as I continued to cry.
“Finally.” He nodded. I looked up confused. “All you did was sob once in a while. You were afraid to let it all out. You needed to let it out.” He slowly walked towards me. “Stand up, son.” He said. I stood up and he pulled me close. Just having him hug me felt better. He was a Father to me. He was someone to comfort me in my time of need.
“I miss her.” I cried.
“She was a daughter to me. I miss her too.” He said. I pulled away and he looked at me. “You’re going to be okay.” He nodded.
“What if,” I began to say but he wouldn’t let me finish.
“Don’t.” He shook his head. “Listen,” He said while checking his watch. “I want to take you somewhere.” He said and took my hand. He pulled me to his car and I got in.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” He smiled. It didn’t take long to get to where ever he was taking me. I got out to find it was a church. He patted my back as we walked up the steps. When we walked into the church everyone stopped and looked at us. I’ve never seen any of these people before. I only recognized a few. One was the judge who put me away. The others were some of the people who showed up at my trial.
My hands fell to my sides as I saw everyone. I didn’t know why they were there. Michael walked me up the isle and we passed everyone.
“Why am I here?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” He said while taking a seat and motioning me to take one too. When I took my seat the preacher began to preach. (Shocker right?)
“Now, we are gathered here in the house of the lord for this extraordinary man right here.” He said while pointing my way. Everyone around me nodded and smiled. “This man right here was married to Meagan Lewis. Her young soul was taken from us but in her place took her daughter Meagan Jr. who survived the birth. Right now Meagan in his the hospital with Pulmonary Tuberculosis. Her little soul is taking more of a strain that’s meant. Anyways, we are gathered here to pray for Shawn March. He is still standing tall, although the devil has throw rocks and stones and grenades his way. He’s still standing. He will be the rock for his baby girl because I know that she will come back better than ever. I know. Shawn, can you please come up here so I can lay the hands of God on you?” He asked. Michael nodded as I stood up. My wet clothes clung to my skin. I walked up next to the pastor. He laid one hand on my forehead and the other on my shoulder. “Lord, you are our savior. You are our God. You have dealt Shawn with some cards. Cards he may not have liked but Lord we know you do everything for a reason. Lord, compel the death of Meagan Jr. Her innocent soul will walk on this Earth for years to come. I know this Lord.” He began.
“Yes, Lord!”
“Halliluia!”
“Thank you, Lord!”
“Save her!”
“Yes, Lord! Forever, Lord!”
“You know all!”
“Thank you, Lord. Yes, lord!”
Everyone shouted along with the pastor. All a sudden I got very light headed. My vision grew blurry as my eyes rolled back into my head. Everything went black as I felt my head slam against the hard floor. My head pounded but then, it stopped. I opened my eyes but I wasn’t in the church anymore. Everything was white. Almost as if I had fallen on a cloud. I slowly sat up to see someone standing over me. My jaw felt almost to my lap. My eyes grew wide. The most beautiful woman was standing over me. It was Meagan. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do.
“Hello, Shawn.” She smiled. Her voice was so heavenly. Oh, how I’ve longed to hear that voice again. To see that face. I opened my mouth to say words but nothing came out. “Shawn?” She asked. “Darling, stand up.” She chuckled. She held out her hand and I touched it. I really touched her. Her finger tips were intertwined with mine. My mouth opened again but still, no words came out. I stumbled to my feet.
“How?” I managed to mumbled. “Am, am I dead?” She walked closer to me and graced my cheek with her hand.
“I’ve missed you so.” She smiled. Her skin was glowing as a breeze came through and took her white dress and her beautiful hair. I looked to see where the breeze came from but I didn’t find anything.
“Why did you leave me?” I asked while silent tears welled up in my cheeks. She placed her warm hands on them and wiped the tears before they had a chance to fall.
“I didn’t want to. It wasn’t my choice but everything has happened for a reason. God has a plan for you.” She smiled.
“Tell me why.” I demanded.
“Why what?” She asked.
“Why now?” Again I got emotional. Its hard to stand tall and act like a man when my only reason for existence is gone. “We have a daughter. I have to raise her, alone. How am I going to tell her?”
“I have figured all of that out.” She said simply but this wasn’t a simple problem.
“Really? If so then please enlighten me.” I said with a slight attitude.
“Its something you have to find out on your own. All I can tell you is that its written.” She sighed. Her beauty was mesmerizing.
“What does that mean?” I asked. Nothing came to mind but at this point I can’t think straight.
“I have to go.” She said and turned around.
“Wait!” I shouted. She turned around. I didn’t want to let her go. She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me. She gently placed her lips on mine. I closed my eyes. I was dreaming that I would never let go. I was caught up in her touch. I could hear her breath. How can she be dead if she’s right here? She pulled away as I opened my eyes. “How can you be gone? I can feel you. I can feel the magic in the air. I can feel you breath. This is what loves suppose to be. I can’t let you go.” I shook my head.
“Shawn, you don’t understand. You have to let it go. You are the reason why Meagan is going to grow up to be what she will be. You are going to set everything in motion. You have to leave this. I’m not gone.” She shook her head as she gently placed two hands on my face to keep me looking at her. “I’m always watching. I know Meagan is in the hospital. I know she has Pulmonary Tuberculosis. I know this all and I also know she will be fine. She’s going to get through this and so will you. Please,” She begged. Her eyes were as clear as crystal. Her eyes shimmered as a tear escaped her eye. I touched it before it dripped off her cheek.
“But I love you.” I shook my head.
“Then raise our baby.” She told me. I closed my eyes as I laid my head on hers. When I lifted my head and opened my eyes she was gone.
“Meagan? Meagan! Meagan!” I shouted as I looked for her but she didn’t show up. I felt a pulling sensation and then I awoke on the floor of the church. I quickly sat up and saw everyone standing over me.
“What happened?” I asked as the sweat dripped down my forehead.
“You were touched by God.” The priest smiled.
“Something like that.” I shook my head. I looked up at Michael. His eyes were wide with terror. He knelled down beside me.
“Shawn, are you okay?” He asked in all seriousness.
“Yes.” I lied. He helped me up and we walked over to the bench to take a seat. I sat there in silence as the preacher went on. I couldn’t hear him anymore. I would look at his face but as his lips moved, no words came out. I kept picturing Meagan. Her beautiful eyes. Her soft hair. How can this be fair? How can this be what life is about? God gives you this wonderful, beautiful, amazing, indescribable woman and then in the blink of an eyes, he takes her away. How can he do that? Meagan and I only knew each other for a couple years but it feels like I’ve loved her for a thousand years and I would love her for a thousand more. This isn’t what was suppose to have happened. This isn’t right.
I stood up in the middle of his talking and walked out. I was outraged. He has no right to take my baby girl. She was mine.
I walked down the stairs and stopped as I laid my head on the cement wall. I lifted my hand and punched it.
“Ahh!” I screamed. I couldn’t stand this anymore. I can’t take this. This isn’t right. This isn’t right! Michael came running out of the building.
“Shawn! What are you doing?” He asked. I breathed heavy, holding in the pain of my open wound on my hand. “Shawn! Answer me!” He demanded.
“This isn’t right.” I murmured in anger.
“What isn’t right?” He asked.
“She was mine! We went through so much, and then... Nothing! She’s gone! How dare he!” I shouted at the heavens. “I hate God! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Its all his fault! Give her back! Give her back to me!” I shouted. I slid my hand into my pocket and looked for my switch blade. “If she wont come to me then I will go to her.” I murmured as I opened the blade.
“Woah, woah, Shawn. Calm down.” Michael said cautiously. I raised the knife to my neck. Michael slowly approached me. “Now, son, think about this.” He told me. “What about Meagan Jr? She’s already lost a mother, does she have to lose her Father too? Don’t do this. Think about your daughter.” I stopped and dropped to my knee’s. I saw Meagan’s little face. Her little nose and her eyes. They look exactly like her Mothers. She looks exactly like her Mother. “Shawn, give me the knife.” Michael said as he slowly got closer. He was just a foot away now. He reached out for the knife and I let him take it. He hugged me.
“Shawn!” Stephan shouted from the street. I looked up. “Meagan needs you!” He shouted and then motion us to get in his car. Michael and I both sprinted to his car.
“What do you mean?” Michael asked.
“The doctor told me to come and get you.” He answered. Although the hospital was only five minutes away, it was one of the longest five minutes I’ve ever had to endure.
I ran inside and burst through the door. The doctor was talking to a nurse when I approached him.
“Mr. March” He nodded.
“Where is she? Is she okay?” I asked all at once.
“Mr. March, please calm down.” He chuckled but how could he be laughing at a moment like this? “She’s fine and you can take her home right away.” He smiled. I hugged him.
“Thank you.” I sighed relieved.
“Now, she may still have a fever once in a while and if it gets higher than this amount, then bring her back.” He said while showing me a graph on his clip board.
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Right in here.” He said as I followed him. I walked in and she started to kick her feet and swing her arms. A smile instantly appeared on my face as her tongue escaped from her mouth. I rushed over to her side and touched her little fingers. They wrapped around my thumb.
“Hey, beautiful.” I smiled as she flashed me a smile. “When can I take her home?” I asked the doctor.
“Pulmonary Tuberculosis is very dangerous. Although the medication has start working there may still be complications further down the road.” He explained.
“What kind of complications?” I asked.
“Asthma, she may need a breathing machine to use four times a day, she may need to use an inhaler, and there are many many more.” He explained.
“Is there anyway I can prevent any of those?” I begged.
“No, do you smoke?” He asked.
“No.” I said while shaking my head.
“Maybe you should try keeping her inside your house, away from smoke or cold air and anything that can affect breathing.” He suggested.
“Do you think it will help?” I asked.
“I don’t know but I know it wouldn’t hurt trying.” He answered.
“Thank you.” I shook his hand. He turned around and headed out of the room. “Can you ask the people waiting for me to come in?”
“Of course.” He nodded. I looked down at Meagan. He skin was so soft.
“Don’t worry baby girl. I promise I will never let anything else hurt you ever again. We will make it. I promise. I promise.” I repeated. I picked her up and held her close to me and then, I began to sing. “She’s beautiful, in her simple little way. She doesn’t have too much to say when she gets mad. She understands. She don’t let go or anything, even when the pain gets really bad. I guess I should have been more like that. She had it all. For a pretty little while. Somehow she made me smile when I was sad. She took a chance. On a bruised and beaten heart and then you realized you wanted what you had. I guess I should have been more like that. I should have held onto to her. I should have never let her go. I guess I got what I deserved, I guess I should have been more like her. For given her, she’s stronger than I am. Its plain to see desperations sure takes truth. I loved you and you loved me with all you had. I should have been more like that. I should have held onto her. I should have never let her go. I guess I got what I deserved, I guess I should have been more like her. She’s beautiful in her simple little ways.” I finished singing. Her little eyes shut as she fell asleep. I looked up to see Michael in the door way. I couldn’t wipe my silent tears because my hands were wrapped around Meagan.
“That was beautiful.” Michael said. I looked down at Meagan’s sleeping face. “Meagan would be proud of you.”
“I don’t deserve it.” I shook my head.
“Now why would you think that, son?” He asked as he pulled out a chair for me to sit in.
“Because if it wasn’t for me, she would still be here.” I hung my head. “If I only just left her alone, then she would still be here. How can you sit there and call me son when I took your daughter away? You should hate me.”
“You never took her away.” Michael shook his head as I looked up. “The days she spent with you were the best of her whole life. She told me, multiple times. Shawn, she loves you more than you can ever know.”
“At the church, I saw Meagan.” I confessed.
“What?” He asked.
“When I passed out. I don’t know where I went but I saw Meagan.” I answered.
“Are you sure you weren’t just dreaming?” He asked.
“I felt her. It was her. I was there.” I paused. “Out of everything she told me, one thing doesn’t add up.”
“What doesn’t add up?” He asked.
“I told her I didn’t think I could raise Meagan Jr. and she said don’t worry its written. What does that mean?” I asked him. He thought for a second.
“I don’t know.” He finally said.
“That makes two of us.” I said. I looked down as Meagan began to fuss.
“She’s probably hungry.” Michael said while standing up and grabbing a bottle. He handed it to me and I fed it to her. Michael put her diaper bag over his shoulder as he helped me up. We walked to the car. I gently sat Meagan in her car seat and buckled her in. I sat next to her, holding the bottle.
“Where do you want to go?” Michael asked.
“My house.” I answered.
“Okay.” He smiled as he put the car in gear.
When I got to my house and walked in, the door was unlocked. I haven’t been home in days. I didn’t see how it could be unlocked.
“Hello?” Michael asked as he entered first.
“Shawn?” A woman’s voice asked. I recognized that voice.
“Sam?” I asked as I walked ahead of Michael. I set down Meagan as I hugged her.
“I’m so sorry.” She hugged me tighter.
“You didn’t know.” I kissed her forehead. Tears were falling from both our cheeks. We chuckled as we looked at each other.
“Ahem!” Michael grunted.
“Oh, Michael, this is Sam. Michael is my step father and Sam is my sister.” I smiled.
“Nice to meet you.” Michael shook her hand.
“You too.” Sam smiled. Michael picked up Meagan and her things and took her and them to her room.
“I’ve miss you.” I said.
“Shawn, I’m so so so sorry.” She hung her head. “I know I’ve only met her a few times but I knew you two were in love. I knew how much she meant to you and I was nothing but rude. She didn’t deserve that.” Sam shook her head. Michael walked out of the room and patted me on the back.
“Stephan and Taylor will be over tomorrow to check on you and her.” Michael said as he left the room. I heard Meagan start to fuss again. I walked into her room and picked her up.
“Sh,” I said as I bounced her gently.
“Is this Meagan?” Sam asked. I nodded. “She’s beautiful.”
“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. She looked at me with wide eyes as I put Meagan in her arms.
“She’s precious.” She said as she swayed back and forth.
“I know.” I smiled. “She’s exactly like her Mother.” A warmth inside me arose. I could feel Meagan’s presence. She was here with me, with us. She’s watching over me. I looked up and smiled.
“You’re going to be okay.” Sam smiled at me.
“So I’ve been told.” I chuckled. She lifted one hand and brushed my hair.
“I’m proud of you.” She smiled. “You’ve really grown up. I don’t think you would ever have if you didn’t meet Meagan. She was truly a life changer for you.”
“Yes, she was.” I agreed.
“What are you going to do now?” She asked. I sat down in the corner chair and thought for a second.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really give much thought to it. One thing that crossed my mind a few times was moving. Just getting as far away as possible. Maybe South Carolina. I don’t know.” I shook my head. She set Meagan down and walked over to me.
“Don’t run away.” She begged.
“Its not running away.” I argued.
“Just don’t go.” She begged.
“Why? Whats here for me?” I asked.
“You have family here. Michael? Stephan? Taylor?” She paused. “Me?” She said in a whisper.
“Sam, I love you and you know that. You’re my sister and nothing can separate us but I have to move on. I have to get away from the memories. From everything that reminds me of her. I can’t,” I paused as I pictured her face. “I just can’t.”
“What memories? What reminds you so much of her?” Sam asked. “Besides the baby.” I walked out of the babies room and went towards the living room.
“The couch is where we first made love. That blanket was used to cover our bodies. That window is what we looked out of every time it rained. That table is where she would bring her homework to and where I would help her. My bedroom is where I would read Shakespeare to her. My closet is full of her clothes. My draws are filled with her papers. My bathroom has her tooth brush in it. These’s walls are what she planned to paint.” I turned to Sam as silent tears appeared in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I refused to cry another tear. I need to man up. “Can’t you see, this whole building is Meagan. There is nothing that doesn’t remind me of her.”
“I didn’t know.” She shook her head. I walked up to her and graced her cheek.
“I have to go.” I told her. She nodded as I hugged her.
“What will I do without you?” She asked.
“You will do fine.” I reassured her. “I promise.” I said as I kissed her forehead.
“Do you want me to help you pack?” She asked.
“No, thats okay. I’m not taking much. Mainly just Meagan’s needs.” I explained.
“Okay, well I have to get home to Mark, you know how he gets.” She said as she walked out. “I will see you tomorrow.” She said a little worried as she shut her door. She said it almost as if it was a question but she didn’t wait for an answer.
I got Meagan’s diaper bag ready. I packed all of her clothes. All of her little one’sies and all of her bottles. I even ran to the store and got a couple of extra formula containers. Meagan has several bags. Some were blankets, others were clothes, some were bottles and toys and the rest was diapers. I only had one small bag with some clothes. I put all of them in the car and tightened the strap on Meagan’s little car seat.
“Shawn!” Sam shouted as she walked down the street.
“Hi.” I waved as I put Meagan in the car.
“I thought you were going to wait for me?” She asked.
“I decided it would be easier on everyone if I just left.” I sighed.
“How is that good for everyone?” She asked.
“They won’t have to deal with me anymore.” I answered.
“We love you.” I voice said behind me. I turned around to see Taylor, Stephan and Michael.
“Shawn, please don’t go.” Taylor begged.
“I have to go. I have to leave. I have to start over.” I explained. I closed the car door and leaned against it.
“Stay, please.” Sam begged. I shook my head no as she hung hers.
“Son, if we can’t change your mind then you at least owe us a formal goodbye.” Michael said as he approached me with open arms. I walked up to him and hugged him.
“You were always my son and you always will be.” Michael whispered in my ear. I sniffled my nose as we pulled apart.
Taylor walked up to me and hugged me. Her soft hair got in my face as she wrapped her little arms around my neck.
“We are going to miss you.” She smiled.
“We?” I asked. A huge grin got on her face as Stephan walked up and put his arm around her.
“I’m pregnant!” She shouted.
“What?” I asked so happy.
“With twins.” Stephan added.
“Woah.” I smiled.
“I’m so happy.” She smiled.
“You will be a great mother.” I said while reaching for her hand.
“Promise you will bring her back.” Michael smile while looking at Meagan.
“I wouldn’t keep her away for anything.” I promised. Stephan walked up and hugged me.
“Man, you have to come and visit.” He patted my back.
“I will, once I get everything straighten out.” I nodded. There they all stood. In front of me, together. Their slight smiles made my heart crumble.
“I’m going to miss you guys.” I smiled. My eyes got wet. “I love you guys.”
“We love you too.” They smiled. I kissed Sam on the head before getting into my car.
“Please, Shawn.” She begged one more time.
“You’ll be fine.” I assured her.
“Goodbye.” I waved as I drove off. I looked at their sad face in the rear view mirror as I went around a bend. I looked back at Meagan. She was so happy.
“Well, This is it, baby girl.” I said as I continued to South Carolina.
The trip was long. Very long. Sometimes I felt as if it would never end. Most of the car ride was silent. Pure silence. The times it wasn’t, well, let me say I have a head ache. Meagan doesn’t like her car seat. She is an amazing baby that doesn’t cry too much but she absolutely hate being in that car seat. Every couple of miles I would have to stop and rock her, just to quiet her down long enough to get on the road again.
As soon as I got to South Carolina I stopped at a convenient store. I picked up some more formula and a sandwich for me since I haven’t eaten since Pennsylvania. I had Meagan in one arm and the sandwich and formula in the other. Just as I got to the cash register a woman walked by me and knocked everything but Meagan out of my arms.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” She apologized as she and I knelt down to pick the things back up. She ran her hand through her light red hair as she bent down.
“Its okay.” I smiled as I stood up. Her bright green eyes were tantalizing.
“Are you sure?” She asked. I could tell she felt bad.
“Really, its just a sandwich.” I chuckled.
“I would get the sandwich.” She chuckled.
“Why not?” I whispered.
“Just take my word.” She smiled. “You’ll thank me later.” She flirtatiously smiled as she continued to the back of the store.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her freckles and adorable dimples were indented in my mind. I grabbed my bag and went to my car. I hooked Meagan in and headed down the street. I was looking for a house for sale. Its what I need. I need a house, that way its permanent.
I was driving hours and hours. It seemed like I was just going in circles. Finally I pulled over to take a break. I got out of the car and sat on the hood for a second. I needed a breather. I needed a second to think.
The sun was beating on my back like a hammer. Sweat dripped from my forehead. South Carolina was defiantly a lot more hotter than where I came from. I looked over at the house across the road. I haven’t seen this one before. It was for sale.
The house was a light blue with white windows and doors. It had a porch the stretched around the whole house. It was beautiful. Purple annuals and beautiful white lilacs grew along the border. This house was perfect. I unhooked Meagan and walked up to the door.
A woman came to the door before I could even knock. When she opened the door her face was familiar. A smile came to her face as she recognized who I was.
“Sandwich guy.” She chuckled.
“I don’t know what to call you.” I smiled.
“Annabelle.” She smiled.
“Shawn.” I smiled back.
“And who is this?” She asked while tickling Meagan’s toes.
“This is Meagan Jr.” I said.
“Hello, beautiful.” She smiled.
“We are interested in the house.” I said.
“Really?” Asked Annabelle.
“Yes, really.” I chuckled.
“Okay, then let me give you a tour.” She smiled.
After the tour I was even more convinced that I wanted this house than I was before. It is perfect and its exactly what I need. What Meagan and I need.
Annabelle and I took a seat in the living room while Meagan slept in my arms.
“Are what price are we looking at?” I asked.
“Well, I was thinking a hundred thousand.” She said. She was nervous and I could tell but that wasn’t a crazy number for the house. It was rather decent.
“I’ll take it.” I said.
“I’ll get the paper work.” She said as she stood up. After all the signing and everything was done we both set down. She looked like she had a boulder lifted off her shoulders.
“If you don’t mind me asking, where is Meagan’s Mother? I’m asking because her name is Meagan Jr.” She paused terrified of my answer or what I would say next. I cleared my throat as I adjusted her in my arms.
“Annabelle, are you aware of the case that went on in Pennsylvania with the teacher and student?” I asked. She nodded. “Well, thats me.”
“Wait? You’re Shawn March?” She asked.
“The one and only.” I said.
“What happened to Meagan?” She asked. By my expression she could tell it was a tender subject.
“Meagan, died giving birth to Meagan Jr.” I answered.
“Oh,” She gasped while covering her mouth. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“Its okay.” I assured her.
“Thats terrible.” She sighed. “Did they say,” She could finish asking the question but she didn’t have to.
“Her heart just couldn’t handle one body let alone two, but her soul was too pure to let another die.” I explained. Annabelle reached across Meagan and held my hand.
“I’m here, if you ever need anything.” She smiled.
“Thanks.” I said.
“Well,” She said while standing. “That was a little party stopper.” She tried to joke. “Do you want a drink?” She asked.
“No but I need a drink.” I chuckled.
“Well, come this way sir.” She smiled. I laid Meagan down on the couch and propped pillows up all around her so she couldn’t fall off. I followed her to the kitchen. She opened a door and allowed me to walk in. When I did my jaw dropped. It was a private bar. A little room with a bar. Now, this tops it off. This is my dream house.
“Holy Hannah!” I smiled.
“I thought you would like it.” She said while turning on the lights. Her green eyes shimmer even more than they did before. She walked over to me and handed me the key. I accidentally dropped the keys. I stood there as they clinked as they hit the wooden floor. I bent down the same time she did. I looked up as our eyes locked.
“You’re beautiful.” I said while brushing her beautiful red wavy hair out of her face. We both moved in for the kiss at the same time. I didn’t realized what I was doing until our lips were just breaths apart. I stood up quickly and paced for a second.
“Shawn, I’m so,” She began but I didn’t let her finish. I couldn’t let her feel sorry for something that was ninety percent my fault.
“No, my fault.” I said as I continued to pace.
“You just lost the love of your life and I was about to put a move on you.” She sighed. “I have to apologize.”
“My move.” I said. I don’t know why I couldn’t say complete sentences but they just weren’t coming out.
“Shawn,” She stopped my pacing. She placed both hands on my cheeks. “Its okay.” At that moment I couldn’t control myself. I just couldn’t. I kissed her. My lips touched hers. I liked it. No, I loved it.
I wrapped my arms around her small body and lifted her onto the bar counter. Empty glasses were in our way so I pushed them onto the ground. They shattered with every second. She looked down at them and smiled. I kissed her and and slid down to her neck. She slowly unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off.
“Shawn, stop.” She said while placing a hand on my chest. “You just lost your wife. I don’t want to be the rebound.”
“Annabelle, I’m so sorry.” I said as I picked up my shirt and put it back on. I ran out. I didn’t know what else to do. I got Meagan and I went to the car. Did I just kiss her? I feel like I betrayed Meagan. I feel like I cheated on her. But is it cheating? Yes, what am I saying? Of course its cheating. She’s my wife, dead or alive.
Meg was fussing in my arms. She must have been hungry. I reached in the back for a bottle. She squinted her beautiful blue eyes. They were so clear I could see my reflection. I twirled her blonde hair as she continued to drink. Rain sprinkled on the windshield. It wouldn’t be more than two minutes before it started to pour. I watched at the rain drops splattered like glass. I looked back down at Meg. She’s just so beautiful. Her Mother would be proud. I know it. I just know it.
“You really are perfect.” I smiled. I looked at the windshield to see the rain really coming down. I jumped at the sound of knocking on my window. I looked out, scared to death, to see it was Annabelle. I rolled down the window.
“Come inside.” She begged.
“No, We’re fine.” I argued.
“I wasn’t asking.” She stated. Her hair was matted down from the rain. Her clothes were soaking wet and clinging to her body. “Please,” She begged.
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head.
“Fine, if you want to play that game, then I’m not going inside until you come with me.” She said while crossing her hands over her chest. “Achoo!” She sneezed. She sneezed again and then shivered. “I think I’m coming down with a cold.” She smiled.
“Fine!” I gave in. I couldn’t let her stay outside in the rain and catch a cold. I grabbed Meg’s blanket and covered her up as we ran inside.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.04.2012

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