One Dream

By: Morgan a.k.a zzmbrashear


Blurb: Annabelle wasn’t a normal sixteen year old girl. She didn’t do what normal girls her age did, instead she rode horses. She lives on the her family Ranch. She’s been racing since she was six years old. She is known world wide for it. She was placed first in every race thanks to her horse Skyler. Skyler is a beautiful Morgan Appaloosa mix. Skyler has been through everything with Annabelle. From her Grandmother’s death to her Brother’s marriage. Annabelle hasn’t found something that isn’t fixed by a lap around the race track. Then tragedy strikes. When Annabelle has an accident and becomes paralyzed from the waist down, she is told she will never ride again. She goes above and beyond to finish the dream that she has started. It only takes one girl and one dream to do the impossible.


<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>
<<>> ~One Dream~ <<>>
<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>


I breathed heavily as I tightened my grip on the harness. The smell of dirt and dust filled my nostrils as the twelve horses on both sides of me kicked their back legs. I listened as the horses neighed. The crowd screams were over whelming but I’ve been here before. I’ve heard the screams before. I can do this.
I slid my feet deeper into the foot wholes. I squinted as I looked at the flag. When they waved it and opened the gate Skyler was off. She sprinted in front of the others. She was on a good role today but it was a hot day and I was worried of bee’s. Skyler has a terrible allergy to bee’s. She swells up and can’t walk. Thats always what scares me the most. Falling doesn’t scare me. I’ve fallen off a horse so many times. Maybe I sprain a leg or break a wrist or get a few scrapes but nothing really bad ever happens. I wasn’t worried of hurting myself, I was scared for Skyler. She means everything to me.
Skyler curved around the corner. She stayed close to the inside. Miya and her horse Kea was rounding up fast behind us. Miya and I use to go to the same school. We use to be best friends. That was until we had a fight. We both got into racing and she got mad when I beat her in a race when I was seven. We haven’t spoken since. Once in a while we will race against each other but no words were ever said.
She came up on my rear. I moved to the right as she tried to pass me. When I blocked her she tried going to the left but I blocked her again. I rubbed Skyler behind her ears and whispered,
“Come on, girl! You can do it!”
Just as I said it, Skyler took off and left Miya in the dust. I know people say never look back in a race but I looked back. I saw Miya’s goggles turn to black with the dirt. I turned back and watched as Skyler passed the finish line. I stood up and held my hands above my head as my Mom ran over to me. She took my hand and helped me down.
“Amazing! Just amazing!” My Mother hugged me. She patted Skyler. I walked over to her and took off part of the harness of her face.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” I kissed her nose. Then a bright flash of light went off. I looked up to see reporters everywhere.
“Smile!”
“Annabelle, whats going through your mind?”
“How does another win feel?”
More and more questions were asked but I rarely talk to the reporters. Sometimes they just twist everything and make it sound like what they want to hear.
“Another win feels great and I can’t wait to start training for the big race at RaeField County!” I smiled at the camera’s. My Father walked over to me and grabbed my arm. I grabbed Skyler and we went into the stables.
“She went awful sharp around that corner, don’t you say?” My Father said as he walked her into her gate. He walked in with her and picked up her brush.
“I think she she took it just fine.” I argued as he stroked her.
“Annabelle, you can’t see it from the stand. You just feel the wind in your hair and all is well and dandy. We need to work on her turns and her legs look weak.” He said and hit her hove. She lifted her leg and neighed.
“But Daddy, you’re working her so much already.” I said.
“Don’t argue with me, Anna. You have to practice big to win big.” He said. I sighed as I walked away. I took my helmet off and threw it in the corner. I grabbed my blonde braid and hung over my shoulder. I sat on a bail of hay outside the Stable.
I hated arguing with my Father but he works Skyler so hard. Sometimes she gets so sore that she can’t even walk. I know practice makes her strong but she never gets a day off. My is the best trainer there is but sometimes enough is enough.
My Mother walked out of the Stables and spotted me. She slowly walked over to me and took a seat.
“You know, your Father only wants the best for Skyler and yourself.” She said.
“Skyler isn’t as young as she use to be. She cant keep being worked so much.” I said. “I don’t know what I would do without her.”
“She’s not gone yet.” She pointed out. I looked down at my laced boots. “Go talk to him.” I stood up and walked back into the Stable.
“Dad.” I said as I came up behind him.
“Yes, Annabelle.” He answered.
“I love you and I love Skyler and I’m telling you that she’s my horse. You can’t keep working her like you have.” I said. I’ve never stood up to my Father before. Never. He’s always been the one with the Belt. The one that enforced the law. Well, at least his law. He walked up to me slowly. I closed my eyes, expecting to get struck or at least yelled at.
“You’re right.” He sighed. I opened one eye in disbelief.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re right. Skyler isn’t getting any younger and she can’t take what she use to.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He hugged me. I hugged him back because my Father and I don’t get many moments like this. I looked over his shoulder at my Mom standing in the doorway of the Stable. She was smiling the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. I walked over to Skyler and kissed her.
“I just love her so much.” I whispered.
When Skyler and I got home, I walked her to her Stable. I put her in her gate and gave her some grain. I looked outside. The sun was about to set. It was so beautiful out. I ran inside and changed. Then, I got on Skyler and took her out for a walk. We took one of the less used trails because they are always the most beautiful. I spend most of my time with her. Sometimes it seems like she’s the only one who understands me.
With all the racing and chores I don’t have time for friends or boyfriends. I homeschool and then train. The only people I’m around is my parents and baby sister Allie. Other than them, all I have is the rest of the horses. We have more than twenty horses. My Father has other jockey’s ride them in other races but no one except me touches Skyler.
Skyler is how it all got started. When I was five I went to an auction with my Father. I saw Skyler and at this time she was only a month or two old. She was so small. It was love at first sight. I begged Dad to bid on her. When he did he won without any fuss. We took her home and it only took two years for my Father to realize his passion is training.
I took my hair out of the braid and took off my heavy jacket. I relaxed my grip as she galloped on through the trail. A little bunny hopped in front of her. I smiled as it disappeared into the bushes.
“Annabelle!” I heard my Mother call in the distance. I clicked my tongue and turned the reins. Skyler turned around.
“One last sprint.” I said. I ran my fingers through her soft main. I hit my heels on her sides and she sprinted off. I smiled as the wind blew through my hair. I loved this. This is all I live for.
I looked up at the dark sky. The sun hadn’t set yet but I reckon we are going to be getting some rain. It didn’t take long to get back to the ranch. I felt a sprinkle of rain on my nose. I wiped it off and continued to go. Skyler is bomb proof. Which is just a fancy saying that means loud noises like, cars or thunderstorms, don’t scare her too easily. Thunderstorms may not scare her but she doesn’t like them. She gets jumpy, not when I’m riding her, but when she’s alone. She neighs a lot and wont stay still.
When I got back to the Ranch my Mother was waiting on the porch. She was wearing her apron. “Dinner is done.” She smiled.
“Okay.” I said as Skyler trotted towards the Stables. “Let me get Skyler situated.”
“Hurry. I don’t want it to get cold.” She hollered as I disappeared into the Stables. I put Skyler away and took the saddle off her and hung it on the gate.
“I’ll be back tomorrow morning, girl.” I kissed her. I ran back to the house. I walked in and saw Allie, Dad, and Mom sitting at the table waiting for me. I closed the screen door.
“Don’t forget to wash your hands, dear.” My Mother reminded me. I walked over to the sink and quickly washed them. I sat down next to Allie and my Father. We all joined hands to say grace.
“Dear Lord, I want to thank you for my family. For my beautiful daughters. Thank you for all the talent that is blessed on this family. Thank you for another win. Thank you for this food that is going to settle in our bellies. And last but not least, thank you for my beautiful, amazing wife.” He smiled at my Mother. “Amen.” We all said in unison. “Lets eat!” He said and then began to get some potatoes. Just as we began to start eating a big roll of thunder echoed the house. We all sat silently. Then almost as if a pail was dumped, rain flooded the porch. The rain beat down furiously on the tin roof. I listened as Skyler neighed over it all. My Mother gave me a look. She knew I hated it when Skyler was alone during a storm.
“Don’t you dare, Annabelle. This is family time.” She warned me. I took a huge bite of mash potatoes and then I ran into the rain. It drenched my curly blonde hair and soaked my blue tank top. The mud splattered up the back of my jeans as I ran through the mud and puddles.
“Annabelle!” My Father scolded me.
“Come back!” My Mother added but it was no use. I kept running until I got to the Stables. When I got there I slowly walked into Skyler’s area. She was shaky and very jumpy. The rain sounded ten times worse on the roof. He kicked her feet as I unlocked her gate.
“Woah, girl. Sh.” I calmed her as I stroked her back. She quietly neighed as I kissed her softly on her side. I picked up a fleece blanket and covered her up. I grabbed another one and covered myself. She folded her legs and laid down. I waited until she was comfortable then I laid beside her. I laid my head on the top of her upper leg. “I love you.” I said just before I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up the birds were chirping and Skyler was gone. I was curled up in the hay pile, still covered by the blanket. Half away I stumbled to the fences. I saw my Father working with Skyler.
“Long night?” He asked. I could tell he was a little irritated.
“Yes.” I murmured.
“Hop on.” He said as he calmed her down. He held onto her harness so she wouldn’t run away. He threw me my helmet and I put it on. I fastened it but I wasn’t even awake. My clothes were stiff from being wet and they smelled like hay. I slowly made my way over to her and threw my right leg over. I tightened my grip on the harness because I was still sleepy. “Take her around.” He demanded. I ran her around the fencing twice and then met back up with him. “When you take your corners try not to stay so close in. I know its your safe zone but if you get that close then she may not have enough time to come off it. Also be careful. The bee’s are out like crazy. You know how she gets.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I agreed.
“Do you want to practice your jumping?” He asked. I nodded. He set up the jumps. “Okay, now take her around once and then come back to me.” He said and I nodded. I clicked my tongue and we were off. She hit the jumps perfectly today. She hesitated a little on the first one but she warmed right up after that.
“How’d she do?” I asked as I met back up with him.
“She’s hesitating.” Dad said. I knew he was going to. Dad nit picked at everything. It doesn’t matter if she did everything perfectly except that. He’d point it out anyway.
“I know.” I sighed.
“Don’t give her time to hesitate. Make her hit the jump a second sooner.” He suggested.
“Okay.” I said and then took another round. I made her hit a second sooner. She didn’t hesitate this time but it felt weird to me.
“Perfect.” He smiled. “Take a break.” He said and helped me off from Skyler.
The big race showed up faster than I thought it would. No practice could stop from the twisting and turning my stomach was doing. I was use to before race jitters but I’ve never got them like this. A lot is riding on this win. I can’t afford to mess this up.
“Now, Darling, this could mean a lot to us.” My Mother reminded me.
“I know, Ma.” I replied a little irritated.
“Remember, keep going. Race like there’s no tomorrow and leave it all on the track.” My Father hugged me. He held my hand and helped me onto Skyler.
“Lets do this, Girl.” I murmured as I grasped the reins. I breathed heavy as they walked us into the gate. The horses were louder today. They were kicking and neighing like crazy. I couldn’t even hear myself think but I was trained for this. I have to focus. I slid my googles over my eyes and braced myself for the flag. The dirt burned my nostrils as it raised.
“Go!” The man holding the flag said as he waved it. The gates slammed open and we were off. I’ve never raced against any of the horses here before. They are a lot faster than I thought they were.
I wasn’t first but I was sure passing them like flies. Halfway through the lap I felt Skyler jerk. I looked down at her. She seemed like she was okay but that didn’t fool me. She started to slow down. I looked closely at her hide quarters. There laid a yellow jacket. I can’t freak out. Everything will be okay. I went to swat it but it was already too late. Skyler stood up on her back legs. I held on as tight as I could. She began to start jumping and I couldn’t control her. My grip loosened and I fell flat. My eye sight went black and my body got all tingly.
“Annabelle!” I heard my mother cry. Her voice was high and shaky. I opened my eyes hoping to see something but it was all fuzzy. I felt my Mother lift me into her lap and cradle me.
“Skyler.” I managed to mumble.
“Sh.” My Mother cried. I didn’t remember anything after that. When I woke up I was laying in a hospital bed. I couldn’t move. I began to panic. I tried to move my legs to get up but they wouldn’t move. I couldn’t feel them at all. I touched them but still, nothing was felt.
“Mom,” I cried. I spotted my Mother in the corner of the room. She was asleep in a chair but my voice woke her up. She jumped but then realized I was awake. She immediately ran to my side.
“Sh, darling, I’m here. Mommies here.” She calmed me. She brushed my hair out of my face and graced my cheek. I was panicking.
“I, I, I,” I stuttered. I tried to talk but my mouth wouldn’t let me. “I cant feel my legs.”
“I know.” She cried. Her eyes were filled with tears just like mine. She held my hand and kissed it. How does she know? What isn’t she telling me?
“What happened?” I asked. I looked around at the room that was filled with balloons and giant stuffed horses.
“Sh,” She quieted my sobs. “Get some rest.” Not long after I fell asleep with her holding my hand. When I was sleeping I remembered it all. I was on Skyler. I saw a bee and then I fell. She must have stepped on me or something. I, I just don’t know. What I do know if reliving it was almost like a nightmare. Almost as if I felt it all over again.
I looked at the clock as I came to. I have been sleeping for almost six hours. It didn’t seem like it. I looked around the empty room. No one was in sight. I tried to move my legs again but they wouldn’t. They were still a little tingly. I uncovered myself from the blanket. I lifted up my gown, exposing my sports bra and shorts. On my stomach was a hove print. I flinched as I touched it. I was bandaged everywhere. I came to the conclusion that I must have broken a rib or two because my hole side was black and blue. I looked down at my legs. Nothing seemed to be wrong with them, except a few cuts and bruises, which was normal. I touched them but I didn’t feel me touching them. I poke my legs again, and again, and again until there was a bruise starting to form. My eyes were starting to water up. My Mother and Father walked into the room. They walked up to me when they noticed I was awake. They looked at me. They stared at my legs and the bruise from poking myself.
“Why can’t I feel my legs?” I asked. My voice was shaky and crackly. My Mother rushed to my side. She acted like she wanted to say something but couldn’t.
“Oh, baby.” She cried.
“Why?” I repeated in a louder voice. She kept crying. I looked at my Father. His eyes were soft. He acted like he was in pain just looking at me. He made a fist and put it in his mouth. I cried with my Mom because I didn’t know why but I knew it wasn’t good.
Not long after all the crying the doctor’s came in. Usual only one doctor would see a patient but this time there were five. Two women and three men. They were all carrying clip boards and there faces were gloomy.
“Annabelle Brooks,” One of the men sighed.
“Yes.” I answered still shaky.
“Ms. Brooks, you may have noticed you have no feeling or function in your lower body.” He began. I nodded. All the other people looked down at there shoes. They couldn’t even make eye contact with me. Not even one of them. My eye began to water again, terrified of the next thing thats going to come out of his mouth. “This is began you are paralyzed from the waist down.” My jaw dropped. I looked at my Mother and then at my Father and then back at my Mother. My breathing became unsteady as my heart began to pound faster and faster. Tears fell from my cheeks as I gasped. My Mother and Father put there hands over there mouths to keep them from making any noises. My Mother hugged me and buried her head into my stomach, which hurt but I didn’t say anything. “When you fell you hit your spine just right to damage your nerves. Then it seems that your horse may have stepped on you, which did further damage.”
“But,” I stuttered.
“We are sorry.” He said. I looked at my Mother as she lifted her head.
“Is there any surgery or anything?” I was going to ask more but he didn’t give me the chance.
“No. There’s no easy fix.” He said. “Maybe with therapy and hard work you may be able to walk but,” He didn’t finish.
“Maybe?” I asked still in tears. “Maybe! How could this? How can I? Mom!”
“I know, baby, I know.” She held me tight.
“Will I ever ride again?” I held the tears back long enough to say.
“Its not likely. I’ve never seen anyone do it or anything like it. Not with damages like this.” He sighed. Couldn’t they have lessened the blow? I know it wouldn’t have made any actual difference but it would have given me at least a second to take this in.
“Can’t there be something we can do?” My Father asked.
“Only time can tell.” Another doctor answered. “Please leave.” My Father asked politely. They all exited on his command.
“What am I going to do?” I cried into my Mom’s chest.
“We will get through it.” She promised. How could she know? She doesn’t know what I’m going through. Racing is my life. Its the air I breath. Its the only thing I do. The only thing I want to do. How can I ride without using my legs?
“No! We wont! I can’t ride unless I use my legs! My legs! Why?” I cried into my hands. I hated that I just exploded on them. I just hate it but they don’t understand. “You don’t get it. Racing is my life. Its the only thing I know how to do. What am I going to do if I can’t ride Skyler?”
“I don’t know but we can get through it. We always do.” said my Dad.
While I stayed in the hospital for a while. It got really boring, a lot boring. My Father didn’t see me much. Dad stayed with me for the first few days to make sure I was comfortable but he left to take care of the Ranch and I understood that. My Mother wasn’t around much either. She had to go home to take care of Allie. Most of the time I just stared out of the window and listened to my own thoughts. A lot of my thoughts scared me and every time I would go to bed I would dream. I didn’t want to dream because every time I did I would dream that I could never ride again. That was a nightmare I didn’t want to live.
I was quiet bored until my friend Waylon came to see me. Waylon is my best friend. He is the only person I ever hang out with outside of my family. He rides horses with me. He knows every little detail about my life. Everything. Even with Skyler I still needed Waylon.
We first met at the Ranch. His parents moved here when he was only eight, I was seven. His parents decided to home school him too, to keep him away from bad influences. What a right idea that is. I once visited our town’s High School. Its crazy. There were kids outside smoking and spitting chew into bottles. When I walked inside there were a group of idiots picking on a little helpless girl. I saw a boy throw a desk at teacher for pete’s sake. I also saw a boy and girl behind a dumpster. Lets just say I was a little terrified that they’d do that in public. I don’t want to imagine what they do in private...
Anyways, Waylon and I clicked immediately. I taught him to ride and we became best friends. I guess you could say I grew to love him.
At first I didn’t want him to see him, at least not like this. He’s the only one who gets me. Besides Skyler, he’s the only person I trust.
Waylon walked in with a bouquet of flowers. I smiled at the sight of him but I covered up my legs. I couldn’t let him see me in my moment of weakness.
My ribs ached as I bent forward to grab the sheet. I flinched at it and I hoped he didn’t see.
His black hair was a mess a usual. His hazel eyes were so beautiful in the light. Who am I kidding? They are beautiful in any light. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not. No. No. No. I don’t like Waylon. We’re friends. Just friends. Even if I maybe, no, yes, no, maybe want to be a little more.
“Hey, beautiful, you’re looking great.” He lied. I could see his freckles even more with the sun shinning in through the window.
“Lies.” I chuckled. He walked over to me and handed me the flowers.
“Really.” He smiled. “How are you?”
“I’m good.” I lied. He looked me straight in the eyes.
“You’re lying.” He stated. I avoided eye contact. Its scary how he can tell that just from a look. He reached for my hand and held it in his. “Annabelle, answer me.” I looked back at him. My eyes began to water. He didn’t know what had happened. He didn’t know why I was in here. He saw what happened but he didn’t know what it did. I couldn’t tell him. Just to say the words would mean its real. Oh, how I wish this was a dream. Can’t I just wake up? Pinch me. Pinch me, please!
I took a deep breath as I clenched the sheet. I pulled it off of me. My stomach was bandaged from my breast down to my waist. Below my waist I wore shorts. My legs were turning a pale color. Different from the rest of my body.
He looked down at my legs. He thought for a moment. He reached his hand out to touch them. When he did I looked up at the ceiling.
“Nothing from the waist down.” I murmured. He kept touching them. I could only tell because I saw him. He took his hands and ran them from my ankle to my thigh. “Paralyzed.” I whispered.
“Can’t you feel my hand?” He asked almost speechless.
“No, Waylon. Thats usually what paralyzed means.” I said. I didn’t mean to be snotty but that was just a stupid question.
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. I lifted his chin. Some how it hurt my ribs but I didn’t care.
“I will be okay.” I told him. I lied because I couldn’t even believe what I just said. His eyes were filled with tears.
“How will you?” He began to say but he didn’t have to finish his sentence. I knew what he was going to say.
“I don’t know but I’m going to try.” I answered. He knew my passion for riding. I cant explain it. Its more than a passion. It was fervor. I couldn’t stop it. Not for anything. Its what I do. Its me. Its what makes me.
For the next week or so I still stayed in the hospital, just to make sure my ribs were okay. Waylon kept me company. He read to me and he took my Mother’s job as my teacher. He took all my work and helped me finish it. I couldn’t stand just lying in bed. I’m only sixteen. I’m healthy. A healthy 118 pounds. I get exercise. I eat right. I’m the perfect idea of healthy. This can’t be happening. This just can’t. I couldn’t wait until I got out of that place. Waylon packed my things for me. I hated it. I’ve never stayed still for this long. I can’t stay still for this long but its something I’m just going to have to get use to.
The doctor walked in with a wheel chair. Reality soon set in. I would never walked again. I would never get on Skyler and go.
The doctor wheeled it over to me and stood behind it. The sun gleamed off the bald spot on his head. His eyes were soft with pity. I didn’t want pity. I didn’t plan this but I hated pity more than anything.
“May I?” He asked. I nodded and he uncovered me. He put two arms around me and lifted me into the chair. He looked up at my Father. “I’m assuming you will be doing the lifting?”
“Yes.” My Father murmured.
“This is how you can lift her from her wheel chair easily.” He said. He put one around around my waist and lifted me. I looked down. My feet touched the ground but they were just like noodles. My Father nodded as the doctor put me back down. He wheeled me to my Mother.
“Thank you.” My Mother said to him. I looked over at Waylon. He didn’t know what to say. I’ve always been the take charge girl and now, I’m helpless. He didn’t know what to think. I held out my hand to him and he took it. He held it as my Mother wheeled me down the long hallway. As we went further it seemed like the hallway got longer and longer. I closed my eyes and clenched onto the wheel chair with my free hand as the doors opened and a bright light blinded me.
When I opened my eyes I was in front of the car. I loosened my death grip on Waylon’s hand and the wheel chair. Waylon wrapped his strong arm around me and lifted me to the car. He set me into the seat and tried to buckle me.
“I can do it!” I shouted at him.
“Okay.” He backed off. I felt terrible for yelling at him but I wasn’t that helpless. I mean, everyone made me feel that way because they were carrying me and such but I not. I can do everything I did before. Well, I can try.
Waylon picked up the wheel chair and closed it. He put it in the truck as my Father set my bag next to me. My Mother was already in the passenger seat. Waylon closed my door and went around to the other side. He got in and smiled as he buckled his belt. I looked out my window and sighed.
As we got closer to the Ranch, I began to get jumpy. I was so excited to see Skyler after so long.
As Waylon opened my door my door when we reached the ranch, a gust of wind blew over me. The smell of hay and flowers put me right at home. I took a deep breath and took it all in. My Dad helped me into my chair and he wheeled me to the Stables. As I came up on Skyler I noticed how high she was. The wheel chair took almost two or three feet off me.
I reached out my hand and stroked her coat as I got closer to her. I wanted to stand up and get on her. To take her for another ride. To jump another fence or take another bend. I wanted that more than anything but when I tried to stand up it was useless. My legs were no use. p;were just there. No point of them.
My Father placed his hands on my shoulders as he saw me struggle. I looked up at him. I was so frustrated. I wanted to stand. I wanted to walk. I wanted to get in and out of a car myself. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I thought about it more.
“I can’t do this! I can’t! My life is here! I can’t give it up! I want to walk! Why can’t I walk?” I cried. I screamed this but my Father didn’t care. He rolled me away from Skyler and kneeled in front of me. He grabbed my hands and squeezed them.
“No one is asking you to give up your dream. I know you want to walk. I know you want to ride and I want you to. Honey, you deserve to.” He began. He graced my cheek and wiped my tear. His short brown hair moved as he turned to Skyler.
“Then why can’t I!” I demanded to know.
“I don’t know, Anna!” He cried with me. I gripped his blue flannel shirt and pulled him close. I laid my head on his shoulder.
“I don’t understand.” I mumbled.
“Neither do I.” He replied. He wiped my tears once more and then straightened out his shirt.
“I’m going to stay here with Sky a little longer.” I said as he brushed off his knee’s.
“Okay.” He nodded. He kissed me forehead and then went to the house. I wheeled myself closer to Skyler. Dirt that came off from the wheels covered my hand. I brushed it off and then I pet Skyler.
“Its going to be okay, girl, right? I mean, I can do this. I will find a way to ride you again. I will find a way. Don’t worry.” I reassure her but it was more for my reassurance than hers.
I didn’t blame Skyler. She didn’t mean to hurt me. She didn’t make the bee sting her. This isn’t her fault. I guess there’s no one that I can really pin this on. Which is frustrating because I have no one to blame.

After spending almost an hour with Sky, I decided to go to the house. I wheeled myself to the porch. It took longer than normal but thats only because I’m not use to wheeling myself.
When I got to the porch I stopped. To my right was a ramp. It was there, it wasn’t last time I was here. It was there, just for me. I went over to it and began to wheel up it. It was harder to wheel than the regular ground but I was determined to make it over it.
I got almost to the top when my arms gave out and I wheeled backwards. I came to a slow stop as the wheel’s dug into the dirt. I buried my tear soaked face into my hands, disappointed in myself.
My Father was just coming out of the house when he saw this. He ran over to me and comforted me.
“I can’t do it.” I admitted.
“Its okay, its going to take some time.” He tried to help but it didn’t.
“Its a stupid ramp! I should be able to do it! I can’t do anything else so why can’t I do this!” I shouted. I wasn’t shouting at him but more at myself.
He got behind me and he wheeled me into the house. He sat me in the door way as he washed his hands.
“Hungry?” My Mother asked.
“No.” I quietly said. I wheeled myself to the stairs with intentions of going to my room but that idea flew out the window. I closed my eyes and gather myself. I didn’t want to have another break down. Not in front of Allie.
My Father stood up and walked up to me. He picked me up and carried me to my room. I didn’t say anything but deep down I felt helpless. I felt weak and like I couldn’t do anything.
“Goodnight.” He laid me in my bed and kissed me as he covered me up.
“Goodnight.” I murmured as he shut off the lights. I slid down up the covers and closed my eyes. I hoped that the sooner I fall asleep, the sooner this nightmare will be over but I was wrong.
When I woke up I was just as immobile as the night before. I sat up but it didn’t make any difference. I picked one of my legs up and put it off of the bed. I picked up the other one and put it off of the bed too. I pushed off from the bed with my hands but as soon as I got up I collapsed onto the floor. I punched the floor as tears fell from my eyes.
My Mother ran up the stairs when she heard the thump from me falling. She saw me from the top of the stairs.
“Dave!” She hollered to my Father. He came running up behind her. She rushed to my side and tried to help me up. My Father came and took my other arm. They sat me back on my bed.
“I can do it. Just let me try again.” I begged. My Mother shook her head. Her eyes were watery but I didn’t see a tear, not yet.
“No, don’t torture yourself anymore than you already are.” My Mother begged me.
“What torture is more than having a dream you cannot fulfill?” I asked.
“No torture should be that painful.” My Father answered.
“Then, why should I have to endure it?” I asked. My voice was hoarse and shaky from crying.
“I can’t answer what I don’t know.” My Mother murmured. I hung my head as tears fell from my eyes and shattered on my limp thighs.
My Dad would wheel me to the stables and let me see Skyler but he wouldn’t let me try to ride her.
“Its going to cause you pain you don’t need at the moment.” He would say.
I didn’t care what he says. I want to try. I know I can do it. I know if I try, I can’t do it. Only if he would let me try.
“Let me try! Have faith in me! I can do it!” I begged my Mother as she washed the dishes.
“Annabelle, it kills me to see you like this. So, vulnerable and helpless but it will kill you even more to get on her and not be able to do it.” She sighed.
“It kills me even more sitting in this chair watching everyone else walk.” I whispered as I wheeled myself outside.
I wheeled myself to the stables. I wheeled myself to Skyler. I sat in front of her. Staring at her brown eyes staring back at me. I wheeled myself closer to her. I placed a firm grip on her main. I pulled myself up and grabbed her side. I pulled myself until I was on her but I couldn’t sit on her. My legs wouldn’t let me.
“Anna!” My Father called from the doors of the stable. He ran to me just as I slipped and fell. I hit the ground hard but I didn’t feel it. “Are you okay?” He asked as he picked me up and set me into my chair.
“I don’t know. I can’t feel anything.” I said flat out. He hung his head for a second and then lifted it.
“What do you think you were doing?” He asked very crossed.
“I had to try. I can do it! Let me try again! I will show you!” I begged him but he shushed me.
“No, Anna, you are not aloud in here without supervision from now on.” He said in a stern voice.
“But, Dad!” I shouted.
“No buts, Annabelle. This is for your own good. I can’t trust you around horses anymore. Not when you undermine my authority like this. What I do and tell you is for your own good. Seeing you like this doesn’t make me happy. It kills me but I’d take you like this any day because having you like this is better than not having you at all.” He murmured.
“Really?” I asked furiously in tears. “Because I’d rather be dead! There! I said it! I’d rather be dead.”
“Don’t you ever say that!” My Mother said in tears. She came up from behind me.
“Why not say it if its the truth!” I shouted at her.
“Because we can over come this!” She replied.
“How do you know?” I asked. By this point I wasn’t even yelling anymore. I was just over whelmed and tired.
“Because we love you and we know you can do anything but we have to take it step by step.” My Father answered.
Within the next couple of weeks, I began to start taking therapy. They started by strengthening my legs and getting me to do things like hold myself up. I didn’t see the point at first but it helped a lot. I could lift myself out of my chair and I go from things like my bed to my floor.
I tried to be as dependent as possible. If I could do something on my own, I tried. I didn’t want this to affect my life anymore than it already has. My Mom and Dad wont let me anywhere near Skyler. I can pet her but only when they are watching.
I try to to think about it. About not being able to walk, or run or ride but its hard not to think of something when there is a constant reminder. I don’t see how my life can change this much. How one little accident can have such an affect. If anything was to affect me I thought it would be the death of Skyler, not the death of me.

My parents are slowly bringing me back to Skyler. Torture, I know but they say its the only way. They want me to take this step by step.
Today Dad says he’s going to take me on Skyler. Waylon is here to help. I sat in my chair looking up my Father. He was thinking on how we should do this.
“Okay, Waylon. I’m going to prop her up and you need to hold her long enough for me to get on. Okay?” he asked. Waylon nodded but his expression seemed as if he didn’t know how this was going to work but I didn’t care as long as I got to ride Skyler. Even if it was one last time. All I wanted to feel is the breeze on my face and the reins in my hands.
My Dad lifted me onto the horse and Waylon held me on. I was surprised at my Fathers strength. He lifts me and carries me everywhere. I know he’s a country boy and he has muscles but he lifts me as if I was as light as a feather.
Dad hopped on and wrapped his arms around me. He grabbed the reins next to my hands.
“I’m going to get her going and then you can steer.” He told me. I nodded. Then, I clicked my tongue and watched as my Dad gently tapped heels on her sides. I know that this isn’t what I wanted. I know I wanted to be able to ride alone but, I’m going to have to deal with this. Life throws curve balls and you just have to know the right moves to throw back at it.
As we got going I felt the wind in my hair. I closed my eyes as I dreamed. I dreamt of myself and Skyler. It was just us on the trail. The wind was blowing through my hair and I was standing as we speeded up. I opened my eyes to find myself disappointed. My legs, still useless, flopped as Skyler galloped along. It was hard to see myself like that. She know that this is as good as its going to get.
Thats all it took. That one ride, thats all it took to push me to where I needed to be. After that ride my parents started letting me ride more. I began getting more and more physical therapy. Its helping. Slowly, I am getting my strength back. They still say it wont happen. They say its never happened before and it’d be nothing short from a miracle but thats what they don’t understand. It will be a miracle. It will be a gift from God. I know I will walk again. I know I will ride again. I just know it.

Today my therapist decided to go a little further. Instead of our usual routine with walking on the treadmill and push ups, she decided to let me ride Skyler. Alone.
She wheeled me out to the fencing. She sat me in front of Skyler. She set her head on my lap. I kissed her as the wind blew.
“Are you ready?” She asked.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I sighed. I put my arms around her neck and she lifted me. “You’re not going to be able to lift me up there.” I chuckled.
“I know.” She smiled. Waylon came up from behind her.
“Hi, Annabelle.” He smiled.
“Waylon,” I smiled back. My therapist, Kaelee, handed me to her. Her short red blew as the wind went over us. I wrapped my arms around Waylon’s neck.
“I’ve missed you.” He smiled. I smiled back. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know the right thing to say.
As he set me on Skyler, I felt unstable. If it wasn’t for him holding me straight, I would have fallen minutes ago.
“I feel unstable.” I stated.
“Anna, you have no legs, no support. You’re going to feel unstable.” She explained. I nodded. Kaelee took the reins and pulled Skyler around as Waylon held me up. This wasn’t what I wanted. This is just torture. This isn’t right/
“Stop!” I demanded.
“Why?” Kaelee asked.
“Are you okay?” Asked Waylon.
“Just Stop!” I demanded. They immediately stopped. Waylon got me down and held me. I avoided eye contact as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Annabelle,” Waylon said. I unwillingly looked up at him.
“I just can’t.” I cried into his chest. “I won’t ever be able to ride again! I won’t be able to walk and having to just sit there is torture! It reminds me that I wont ever be able to do this! I’m a joke!”
“Annabelle, do you really think I will waist my time with someone who I don’t think can do it?” Kaelee asked. I didn’t answer. “I know you can do it. All you have to do is try.”
“I’m trying!” I shouted.
“Giving up isn’t going to help none!” She shouted back at me. She took a deep breath and waited a second for me to recollect myself. “I think you’ve had enough. Lets go again tomorrow.” She sighed and went to the stables. Waylon set me in my chair and started to wheel me back.
“How can you still be my friend when I look like this?” I asked as we went along. He stopped and knelt down in front of my chair.
“How can you ask a question like that?” He asked. “Annabelle, you are beautiful. Wether you’re standing or not. I love you and no wheel chair is going to change that.” I hugged him.
“I love you too.” I said into his chest.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 25.03.2012

Alle Rechte vorbehalten