Come To Me
By: ZZMBRASHEAR


CHAPTER 1
I just got back from war. I have been deployed for two years and have to go back for two more next year. I’m only nineteen. My father tried with all his might to not make me go. I can remember the fight we had before I deployed like it happened just a few minutes ago.
“You are not going.” My father told me while unpacking my duffel bag.
“That's not your choice. This is my career. Its people like me who die everyday so people like you can have freedom. I want to be one of those people.” I tried to tell him but he broke down. He sat on the floor with his hand over his head.
“I can’t lose you. Your all I got. When your mother passed away five years ago all I could think is that I would keep my promise.” He said without looking up.
“What promise? You never mentioned anything about a promise.” He looked up.
“Before your mother passed she made me promise that I would protect you and your brother. I can’t let you do this.”
“Dad you are not letting me do anything. This is my decision. Milo is supporting me. Why can’t you? I’m going to do this. I will be back in two years. The time will fly. Milo will move here to stay with you while I’m gone.” I told him trying to be reassuring but he didn’t believe it.
“I’m sorry but I just don’t support you doing this. If you do this there is a chance that you can die.”
“But if I die than at least I will be dying for my country. Dad this is what I believe in.” I told him standing up and repacking my bags.
“Fine. You can go but I’m not condoning it.” He said getting up and walking out the door.

CHAPTER 2
That was the last time I talked to my father but my brother sent me letters. Every letter I got was like a trip to home. Milo explained how work was going and every inch of life. I stayed up for hours reading his letters. It was like I never left. The most recent letter said:

“I wish you were home. Nothing is the same without you. I’m happy that you come home in 4 weeks. My girlfriend is pregnant. Her due date is April 5th. We have been planning it for a while. Gloria is so happy. I wish you could see how much she changed. We all really miss you. Not to worry you but Dad went to the hospital a few weeks ago. He didn’t want me to tell you but keeping it from you every time we write just felt wrong. He won’t tell me whats wrong with him but the doctors said that he was having chest pains. Please don’t worry I bet its nothing. Good luck, hope to see you soon. Lots of love.”

Getting that letter made my heart drop. I was thinking that my father might die and I didn’t say a word to him before I left. Milo said that to worry but that didn’t help. My unit was made up of 8 people. We were protecting the Village today. Milo kept asking where I was but it is against the rules to tell anyone. One of my men went missing today. It was Shinder. He was 20 and had a baby boy and a wife. My unit went searching for him today but there was no luck. Life in war is terrifying. There is a chance every one of your men could die everyday. I have seen things that people have nightmares about but they can wake up. Its like I’m stuck in a never ending nightmare. Never to wake up and every minute it gets worse. I saw one of my men die. She was ambushed. She never saw it coming. I tried to save her but there was so much blood. So much blood. I can’t get the image out of my mind. She was my responsibility and I let her down. She wasn’t even suppose to be taking that position that day but she was doing a favor for one of her fellow deployers. When I got to her she had already lost a great deal of blood. One of her legs were severed almost completely off. I tried to stop the bleeding and tried to get her to the shelter for a nurse to look at her. When I got close to the nursing tent it blew up. There was no where for me to take her. One of my men died on my watch and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
War is so different. We stand in scorching heat 24 hours of a day. We don’t dare take our helmet off, terrified of what will happen. We stay up all hours of the night and are on alert all the time. I sometimes wonder what I would be doing if I was still home.
Before I knew it I was on a bus back to Mississippi. When I got home Milo and Gloria were waiting for me. I couldn’t believe I was home. My father was even there. He told me that it was good to see me and that he was proud of me. I asked him how he was. He lied and said he was fine. I thought that that was all I would know and gave up. My father and I spent a lot of time together before I left. I got to see the birth of my nephew. He is so beautiful. Milo and Gloria decided on the name Nicholas John Trove.
When it came time for me to deploy again I didn’t want to go. I think that I would miss my family more now than I did before. It wasn’t even 2 months after I left that I got sent home. They told me that my father passed away and that I could return home to pay my respects. When I got there Milo and I sat down and talked.
“What happened to Daddy?” I asked him. I didn’t want to mess around I wanted the truth now
“He had type 3 lung cancer. The doctors said that he knew about it for a while.” He told me.
“Why didn’t he tell us?” I asked him not understanding any of this.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

CHAPTER 3
My father knew that he was dying and didn’t tell me. I could think of a million reasons why he didn’t tell me but not one of them were good enough. I felt so bad. I should have been there. It should have been me who talked to him last.
Today is the funeral. I didn’t want to go. If I went then it was like I was believing her was actually dead. In my mind I am still at war. I’m dreaming this and none of it is real but then I open up my eyes and nothing. I stayed in Dad’s room for weeks. Milo was taking care of me. He brought me food. My Dad and I were very close when I was young. My mother favored Milo because he was the one who did everything for her. I stayed by Dads side. I went to all the baseball games with him and I even went to his construction site to help out on his jobs. He loved having me around.
“I signed you up for therapy.” Milo said as he brought me breakfast. “You need to get out of this house. You stay here and sit. At night you cry and I pretend that I don’t hear you but its heart breaking. You are family and I will take care of you.”
“Okay I will go.” I really didn’t want to go but I knew it would make Milo happy and he has done a lot for me. When I was 2 my mother dropped me off at her friends house and said she would puck me up later but she never came. Milo’s Father and Mother were a close friend of my fathers before he got in a car accident and passed away. His parents took me in right away and called them mom and dad since then. On my 10th Birthday I got a letter from my biological mother. It said Happy Birthday Love Mom. You would expect I would be pissed but I wasn’t I was happy that she didn’t forget about me. I still have that card.
“When your father passed what did you think?” My therapist asked
“I thought that I must be dreaming and that I would wake up from the nightmare.”
“Now Milo informed me that you are not there blood family. You are a child that the Trove family adopted.”
“Yes” I told her “They did adopt me and for that I am eternally great-full.”
“Why do you stay in your fathers room?”
“I stay there because I feel safe. When I felt bad I would lay in bed with him and it would make me feel good. When I’m in his room I feel like he is still alive.”
“I no that you’re in a grieving period but your father is dead. He is not coming back.” She said with a firm tone.
“Don’t you think I know that. I’m not stupid. I have been to war and back twice. I no what death is. Don’t you think I know that he will never walk through that door again. That when I call his name no one will answer. I know he is dead but being close to his things helps me cope. Okay. I did this for Milo and I’m not going to take crap from you.” I screamed but the funny thing is that I didn’t know I was screaming.
“Good. We are making progress. I don’t think that you have a problem with your fathers death. I believe you are handling it very well. I think you are having problems with what you saw in the war. War changes people. I have people that come in here not able to feel anything or have any emotions because the war had sucked the life out of them. Don’t let that happen to you, get help now.” I didn’t want to believe her but she was right. So I sat down and looked at the window, with my back to her.
“At night its the worst. I dream of things. Things that would make your skin crawl. I use to scream but Dad would wake me up. At night I don’t sleep anymore terrified I will have a memory and no one will be there to wake me up. That is one out of a hundred ways that remind me my father is not here.” I told her. I never mentioned anything like that to Milo. Why am I just now opening up? What changed?
“When do you have to go back?” She asked me.
“I was suppose to 2 days ago. My unit is small. Two of my men died and if they lose me to I don’t know if they will make it. I made an oath to my country and will stick to it. I will deploy in one week.”
“I wouldn’t if I were you.” She told me, “You could end up like those other people I told you about.“ I knew she was right but I’m stubborn and I knew there was nothing left for me here. Too many memories.

CHAPTER 4
Today I deploy. I don’t want to go. I want to live my life at home. My brother Milo was always there for me. I have no way of repaying him. He didn’t deserve to go through all he has. I wish there was a way that he could come to but that would be unfair. His wife and son is here.

Fourteen Years Later
Nick is now 17 and he talked to his mother about enlisting in the army. Gloria is not happy. Milo told me that she was crying. She doesn’t want her only child to go to war because she thinks he might die. I told her to not let him go. I told her about my dreams and I knew it wouldn’t make her any feel any better but she needs to know the truth. She told me that that it terrifies her and she would rather him not go but he won’t give up and she is not going to stand in his way for fighting for his country.
“Its a brave and noble thing he is doing.” I told her.
“I know, but theres is something in me that is telling me it is a bad idea.” She said, “And I’m not trying to say it is a bad idea because you served lots of years and are proud of it but I don’t think it is the thing for my Nicolas.” After that talk and I went home I called Nick and set up a day were we can go watch a baseball game. We went to go see the Red Socks because that is Nicks favorite team.
“Wow, did you see that ball? Its out of the park!” Nick said standing up to get a better view.
“Yeah.” I said, “Listen Nick, your mom wanted me to talk to you.”
“I knew you wouldn’t bring me to a baseball game for nothing.” He said sitting down.
“Uh. Nick, thats not fair.” I said laughing.
“This is about me enlisting, right?”
“Nicolas, she is really worried.” I told him
“I want to be like you! This is not fair. Grandpa let you do to war. I want to do something that counts. Please let me do this.” He said begging.
“Its not up to me and I’m thrilled you want to be like me and enlist because the world needs more boys like you but war is not as good as you think it is.” I didn’t want to tell him this but I couldn’t let him go unaware of what he will be experiencing. “I’ve seen thinks you couldn’t imagine. I have seen things that you have nightmares about but the difference is you can wake up. God forbid anything happened to you your mother and father would be devastated but if somethings doesn’t you will wish it did. You never leave war behind. You dream about it, about losing some of your me, you will have flashes.”
“I’m still going. If you can do it then so can I! I want to be someone. I want to make something out of me.” He said with wanting in his eyes.
“You are something. You’re someone to your parents, me and your grandfather even though he is not here to see you.” I told him. I really believed what I said but I’m not sure if he did. The next day I talked to Milo and told him what Nick said. Milo said that he couldn’t tell him no so he talked to Gloria and a year later after his training he left to deploy. Gloria was crying. She almost didn’t let go of him when the bus came.
When I saw the bus I had a flashback. It was fading. I saw me getting on the same bus about 15 years ago. I felt sad because my dad was not there. I didn’t really have a family and when I get one they die. Maybe its for the best. Maybe I’m suppose to stay alone. Forever.


CHAPTER 5
Today is Dad’s birthday. I went to the baseball pits were I could hit for a few hours to let off some steam. I always liked baseball. When I was little Dad use to stay in the yard and practice with me. I got a new job today. I’m a little league coach. The kids are really nice. I have 12 boys that are in the 6th grade. They are really good.
We have been practicing for 1 and half months and our first game is at Merrillville. Its only a half an hour away. The kids are really happy. We win by 4 home runs. I took the kids out to Chuckie Cheeses after. I get home around 8 and go to bed. The next day I went to Gloria’s and Milo’s.
“Hey, how did the game go?” Milo Asked.
I said while getting a soda out of the fridge, “It was good. We won by 4. Those kids are amazing.”
“We are getting a dog.” Gloria said.
“Cool, what are you going to name it?” I asked
“We want to name it Nicky.” She said
“Oh, I would name it Buster or Charlie.” I said smiling. Milo laughed. About an hour later while we were watching TV, the door bell rang. I answer the door and it was two men in uniform. Gloria dropped to the floor. She started crying. Milo grabbed his head and was holding his breath. I dropped the television remote that was in my hand and sat down in the chair next to the door. I couldn’t believe it. All I could think that it was my fault. He said he wanted to be like me. Its my fault he left and its my fault he is not here.
“Can we come in?” One of the men said. I stood up and said yes. I closed the door beside them trying to hold in the tears. “Mr. and Mrs. Trove?” He asked
Milo looked up, “Yes.” He had everything to do to hold back his tears. GLoria was still on the floor.
“We are very sorry to tell you but your son Nicolas Trove passed away.” I heard Gloria sob even louder. I heard he say oh god repeatedly. They said “He was a good man and even better soldier.” The first man said then the second cut in, “He died while his unit was under attack. He saved 5 of his other men. He covered them while they went to shelter. He will be presented with an award of honor. If you want more about how he died you can call this number.” He said handing me a card, “We are so very sorry for your loss.” Milo stood up.
“Telling us that he gets an award does not bring him back. Did you know he was only 17. Barely even grown up.” Milo said. The men left five minutes later. I stayed that night. Gloria didn’t move from her spot till two days later. At night she cried. I felt her pain. I went up to her.
“Gloria, you should eat something. Nicolas wouldn’t want you to be like this.” I said as she stood up.
“You don’t know what he wants and you should not be talking. He told me that you were the reason he was going. My baby boy. Not even 18 went to war because of you and now he is never coming home. You don’t know what that feels like.” She said and she was right.
“You’re right. I don’t know what I feels like but I do know what it is like to go to war and it is an honor. He is not coming home but I would rather him die in war fighting for his country than in a car accident, while speeding.” I told her. She dropped to the floor.
“God, he really is not coming home.” She started crying again. “Please bring him back, please bring him back.” She kept mumbling.

CHAPTER 7
Everything in my life is gone. I haven’t talked to Milo and Gloria in two months. I’m thinking about going back to war. I have nothing left to keep me here. My life is dark. At night I’m starting to have dreams again. I thought about what I said to Nick before he left. I told him the things he will see and dream about are horrible and that if he doesn’t die in war he will wish he was. I signed up and deployed a few months later. I didn’t care that I didn’t say good bye to Gloria or Milo.
War is just what I left it. It made me so happy to be back. I had a new unit. We were moving into a different part of our map and when we did we got ambushed. Our enemies knew we would keep moving and closed on us. I got down behind a ditch. I don’t think anyone saw me but my men were out there. I had a duty to help. I stood up and took one out at a time. I had to keep ducking to make sure no one would hit me. All I can hear is people screaming and gun fire. Everything happens so fast you are not sure what is going on but I no what I have to do. I stand up and take our four of there men. One of them saw me and aimed. I couldn’t move fast enough and there I was. It was the slowest moment I ever saw. I could see the bullet moving into me and I couldn’t move. It hurt. There was a lot of blood. My men ran to the next shelter and I ran with them. We made it. My arm was bleed uncontrollably. I tried to keep pressure but it hurt so much. The next day we kept moving and again our enemies expected it and ambushed us again but I didn’t see them this time. I turned around and fired with out aiming. All a sudden I saw Nicolas. He was standing in the field about 30 meters away. He was waving and saying Roseanne, come to me. Then the sounds stopped. I couldn’t hear any guns being fired and I didn’t see any men.
THE END

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 16.03.2011

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