Introduction
Darren Hobson
All the poetry I recently wrote but went unread.
A collection of poetry written somewhere between 2017 and autumn 2021, some of it was published unsuccessful separately, two collections of poems abandoned when confidence was low and my anxiety asked questions like who would like this shit ? All the poetry asking ridiculous questions with horrendous language and so many grammatical errors that the English professors in this world will have me lynched. I am not perfect, maybe perfectly flawed and this poetry represents all of that.
1.Welcome to poetry hell.
GEO
GEO and the interference that is poetry noise.
Who passes this point must have a strong heart and an open mind
There is anarchy in the verses and open scars to cure.
GEO∞link
Geo is linked to the earth
The earth is our home
Everything we do has a consequence
All that we are is linked
It is a multitude of rusty chains
What comes around will go down
Every word or sigh or tear
Will be the start of your death sentence
We will all interact in some way or another
What I say here will be echoed through the corridors
Just saying it at the right pitch or tone
You don’t need to send a message by telephone
Like the planets that orbit the sun
Their paths are sophistically synchronised
If just one planet slows their rotation
The whole solar system will go up in flames
Just like me and a whole lot of yous
You are so dependent on what I do
Just waiting for the next literary surge
Satisfying every whim and complicated urge
We are linked up in the passages of time
To be free and independent would be a crime
It is a knock on effect like a domino run
Just a little touch and the damage is done
One earthquake in the southern hemisphere
Has a rippling effect on all the tectonic plates
Just another disaster will mist up the waters
Just like us humans when we make mistakes
Have you ever told a little white harmless lie?
Did you notice the snowball effect?
Before long that little fucker is out of control
How much time passed before you embraced regret?
This is the link between me and the geo,
This is what I observed when I was not watching
This is what it is like to be suffering an outpouring
Always complicated but never ever boring
Just like a little baby throwing out its toys
You are now subject to my poetry noise
I am mutilating words just for the hell of it
I will leave my footprint in your imprint.
Everything I say or I have done
Will be the outline of my death certificate
Every person I met I’ve stained their soul
Can’t undo it for it’s too late
Everything is linked from the moon to the tide
This is going to be one violent ride
All my energy and aura will rub off on you
You will be tainted when I am through
Don’t expect me to be all smiles and sweetness
You can’t judge a man just by his greatness
It’s about making a loud song and dance
It’s not about what’s in or out of your pants
This is a story and it’s a plague you will see
It is a legend and the start of being me
Let’s all link up and follow the chain gang
Saving our voices for the melodies we sang
By the campfire
Carving our virus into the trees
Destroying everything that was great
It was all fault
All our graffiti
GEOgraffiti
That was just great
That was with applause
That was just fantastic
That was gorgeous
Take the time to make a smile
Throw your attitude on the pile
Be the kid that you want to be
Just don't fuck with a cunt like me
That was just apocalyptic
That was with dirty claws
That was the way so drastic
What is mine is never yours
Take the time to make a friend
Say some bullshit to make it end
Be the cunt you need to be
Set yourself on fire be free
You’re are just so great
Knowing you was my mistake
Your fake ass smile
And you flimsy penetration
You fucked up views
That I forgot to mention
Your geography
Was all mapped out
Your twisted blister
Was to scream about
Your throat sore
With contingency plans
You forgot I was a man
Your gorgeous eyes
You planned my demise
Hiding apparatus
What has become of us?
Making amends
And destroyed friends
Breaking the bank
When all depends on you
I painted a picture and the colours were fruitful
I made the darkest corners so fucking beautiful
I dragged you into your Sinday best
But you were outraged and you protested
I could never get you when I never got me
You was a stumble on my burnt tongue
Out of the frying pan and boiled into my fantasy
Trying to be unsocial were I did not belong
Talking trouble and throw a double
You could not gamble on a dead legged horse
Blindfolded by your own suggestion
You couldn’t let nature take her course
Just imagine that there is a new way
To see me less and less every single day
I doubt you will remember anything of this mess
When in five days’ time you will be still gorgeous
I am just a little graffiti on a temporary wall
I am just a puff of air in an oval football
No matter how much you have to kick around
I will be an idiot and I will still rebound
Trying on the humpty not to be so Dumpty
When play school is the only thing to watch
And every word is child's play
You are still gorgeous even today
The clouds are covering up what could be a full moon
Inside my hormones you will never be coming soon
Two tribes go for more
Don't know what you're looking for
Pride got deep got earthquake shook
One step back so not to give a fuck
When life is perfect and dangerous
You are combed back and gorgeous.
St. GEOrges Rd.
Taking you back in time when I was so young
I was getting crazy in the head even right back then
I was moving around too much from house to house
I had no identity
No philosophy
No balls to swing me by
It all went up in smoke, right back then
Dirty streets and factories
Derelict playing fields
Gloom under a threatening sky
I was getting fucked up
And I wanted to die.
Old mills with chimneys pointing skywards
Furniture manufacture with a downstairs tenant and gym
Surrounded by the usual industrial decay
We threw bricks most and every day
It was St Georges road
It was my youth
It was long ago
It scared me deep
School was terrible and I was so afraid
This is the root of my evil and how I was made
Feeling inadequate and over my head
Thoughts misted my mind of wanting to be dead
There were hardly any good memories
Just a long line of enemies and bullies
Couldn’t tie my tie to suit the suits
Couldn’t think straight
Couldn’t study right
Couldn’t sleep at night
The world was my poison
It was St. Georges road
It was heaven and hell
It was my first year in high school
Now you can tell
I don’t want to peek in-between the closed curtains
That I drew shut and stitched up so long ago
I cannot see the faces that I hated so much
I am glad I erased that shit and I lost their touch
I remember the school bus and some mean girls
I remember the books falling from my rucksack
I remember being ridiculed for everything I was
I remember some things far too much
It was St Georges road
It was around 1983
It was the worst phase of my life
But I don’t seek your pity
I cannot feel all those punches anymore
I cannot remember how many times I fell to the floor
I cannot remember all the embarrassing situations
I just see the mist and a mountain of frustration
I didn’t want to be at home
I just wanted to be alone
I did not belong anywhere
Just like you I found life was not fair
From the Miley Tunnel I went in search of old ghosts
I found no one down there to whisper my stories too
So opposites attract so I climbed the piss smelling stairs
I found myself on top of a tower block
But not on top of the world
I saw my life unravel and unfold
Mesmerised by Crown Street and the Lancashire plains
I wish I’d visit that place again
I had one chance but I failed to act
I turned into a coward and I turned back
Down the stairs to the living hell
A bottomless ocean that’s not a wishing well
I trampled on a trampoline
So tired of all the cunts so mean
Nowhere to turn
No one to look to
I fell out of myself
Turned myself inside out
I died inside my soul
I was infested with doubt
From the image of life on St Georges road
The memories still pierce my piercing screams
That smell, those eyes those fucking bad mistakes
That fuels my poems and haunts my dreams.
GEOlogy
Why not come to me and take a stroll along my shore?
Where the wind is warm and the sun is cool
We will map out a world together we will be dynamite
We will be the rock formation that will set the stars alight
From the pacific trench to the lost cities eroded by time
From the smoking gun of a volcano to the lava formed tunnels of love
Every mistake I make will have me quaking in my boots
I would love you for everything from the leaves down to your roots
We will form something that will not take a millennium to show
We will be a shelter from the vicious weather and snow
So can we now gander through the contours of my mind
Laying down the ley lines for the lover to come
It is all natural and it is all to hold
It is geology come geography
Come find the geo in me
Map out our future
Let us study our souls
Come be my geo and destiny
Some people reach too far and wish for the stars
Astrology is complex as geometry is to pet
I want you here beside me on this bed that is earth
I will sow the seeds of freedom showing you what I am worth
Every mountain will be a molehill when we get in our stride
Every coast will be nearer when we start to enjoy the ride
Every lake a pond that I will bridge with my fears
Every desert will be in harmony when they taste my tears
It is all in the wind and it is all I know
It is me against the universe in my head
Come find the geo in me
I can be electrifying but only if you be my charge
I can be in bloom in the heat that you are
So be my geo and destiny
I never ever wanted ever to say
That the roots will die and we’ll fade away
From lack of food and water and harsh limelight
That we will distant again in another night
The once fertile soils are barren and fallow
That the once flowing river is polluted and narrow
That no pollen can be pollinated ever again
That geo is another little torturous game
The sand castles all come crumbling down in the winter
The beaches are taken away by the hundred year storm
The disaster that is geo
The forests have all been destroyed and turned to cinders
The picnic areas are now infested with rotten human waste
Don’t be the cruelty that is geo
Time will never heal the pain
Don’t ever be geo
Nothing will ever be the same.
GEO know me by now
Maybe my words were not kind
Maybe I had to speak my mind
Maybe my maybes were cruel
Maybe I was a little lazy
Maybe I was a little crazy
Maybe be my maybe and be free
It is hard to decipher the true feelings
It is hard to wiggle out of the riddle
It is hard to be misunderstood
But you should know me by now
Sometimes the words don’t come out right
Sometimes the words just don’t come out at all
Sometimes at the best times I will fall
Sometimes you forget who I am
Sometimes you found that lost man
Sometimes is most times but you never understand
It is a feeling I hold onto like ice
It is a feeling I hold onto like hot coal
My hands will quit feeling some day
But you should know that by now
Anytime could be a bad time
Anytime could be a sacrifice
I wear a tortured stick on smile
For most of my blessed time
I try not to reveal all of my pain
I try not to blurt out what’s on my mind
I try to be down to earth
Geo in my bio has turned to dust
Sandpapering against the grain
The splinters in my hands again
A rough and tumble finish
Too old and bold to be saved
But you should know that by now
Are you ready for the open sores?
Are you ready to decipher my mind?
Are you to be ready for the slaughter?
I am a murderer of all our good times
Don’t wait for me to remember
Don’t wait for me to survive
Don’t wait for the green man to cross
Don’t expect me to stay alive
What did you expect in the belly of the beast?
What did you expect to find behind my eyes?
I mask myself from all your inquisitive souls
Don’t you know me by now?
I walk a cold and lonely path
I try to crawl far away
I am happiest when I am lonely
I don’t want to hurt anyone else
I am suffocated in the crowds
I am naked when we are alone
Feeling bare and exposed and vulnerable
I am a dog without a bone
It is just like a game of hide and seek
I am hiding in the rivers of dread
Dreaming I should be somewhere and someone else
Thinking I have failed every test
Thinking I have let you all down
I didn’t expect me to get so fucking old
Some days I have a silent stare
Some days my presence is everywhere
Like a ghost in the autumn mist
I am frustrating and hard to make out
I am cold as the winters in Siberia
I am fragile as our ecosystem
I damned like the low lying coasts in a tsunami
I don’t seem to reason
And you should know that by now
Because that is what I think
That is why you all walk away
My words sting like a nest of nettles
You don’t need my shit in your day
You have enough problems on your mind
You disappear just to be kind
I have seen it all before
No doubt it will happen again
Cut loose from everyone who tried
Deleted from all your minds.
GEOthermal Intrusion.
It is the heat deep inside of me
That will fuel the fools on fire
It is the complex ancient process
I am the one, I am desire
No stones have been left uncovered
All things grind away
Erosive or corrosive toxic relations
Dust to fucking dust
There was a better day
The other day
But it fell so freely into the sea
There was a good view up on the cliffs
The other day
But it taught me how to be unsteady
There was a glorious day
The other day
I was standing on the highest mound
There was a sickly sensation of vertigo
Just the other day
But it taught me how to know
The difference with what is real in this world
The feeling of being powerful in the right place
In the right time
In the right piece of mind
I can find peace
In the cool whispering winds of spring
The sun that tries its best to warm
Even though it’s a losing battle
Winter still rears its ugly head
Spring tries to take the baton
There is war in the winds
Who will win?
It is a battle that is not seen but felt
The outcome is evident
We only see the outcome of the war
We don’t see the daily grind
And all of its advances and regressions
We don’t want to know every kick of the ball
You know?
Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest
In every fucking thing that is happening around you?
It is not so nuclear and radioactive
It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion
There was a better day
The other day
The orchards were infested with flies
The pesticides had lost their touch
That other day
It taught us all to be less greedy
There was a better day
The other day
The summers were subtle and warm
Now we can’t live without our air-conditioning
Like any other day
Did it teach us the effects of the fragile ozone?
Just like we used to be back in our childhood memories
Where everything was innocent and make believe
None of this social indiscipline
This infighting and territorial advantages at aged six
Gun crime in the corridors of the innocent
I thought I was the only one going crazy
In this twisted wreck of an elaborate maze
The forgotten discarded coarse paper tissues
The undignified not up to the job sticky plasters
That never cover up the graze that needs to be seen
Give the teacher the chemically modified apple
Be sent to detention just to be cool
The schoolyard battles that mummy does not know about
Unfortunately the outcome is evident
We only see the outcome when school is out for summer
We don’t what to hear about their daily grind
And all of the blood and wasted tears
You don’t want to be reminded of your teenage years
You know I know!
Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest
In every fucking thing that is happening around you?
It is not so nuclear and radioactive
It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion
There was a better day
Just the other day
But it felt so lonely in a crowded room
Everybody failed to recognise anybody
Just a normal day
It taught us to be so distant
There should have been a better day
We ignored that day
We felt we should do something selfish and cruel
We ignored what was really human in us
Everyday
It taught us that we are unteachable
We are so cold yet geothermal
Warm on the inside, ice cold on the exterior
Do we really need to stick a tube down your fucking throat
To get some warmth or compassion out of you?
GEOcolense
You found the fool in me
You found me at my most gullible
Even though everything seemed so sweet
I was dead on the inside
I could not get anything right
I was always in the sticky and the wrong
I was to become your worst nightmare
All decisions will be a death sentence
I thought it would be great
I thought it would be cool
I thought that seeing a new life
Will wake me up from lethargic monotonous pathetic fucking life
I am no doctor
But seems the therapy I prescribed myself
Had a shitload of side effects and undignified consequences
All my decisions happen to be a death sentence
All I wanted was to be in touch with a little reality
It seemed to be I walked through too many forbidden doors
I was bouncing down the wrong kind of neighbourhoods
I was frustrating and angry and wearing the wrong clothes
Far, far away!
I fly into hyperspace and landed in another universe
A parallel world which I hoped was better than mine
It did not take long for my demons to catch up with me
In this warmer plain those bastards were stronger than ever
I struggled a whole lot more
But you did not want to understand
I had so much distress on my fragile plate
I blew a fuse my systems shut down
Far, far away!
The deeper I burrowed into this self-abused corpse
The further away I travelled from all that was sane
I will never, ever forgot that pathetic fax you sent me
That was the wrong move at the wrong time
Down, down, down
The downward spiral was unleashed and I fell down the hole
Just like some rabbit blinded by the chemicals in its food
Nowhere to go , no friends , no relatives, nothing to hold on to
When this seat beltless terror ride started to gain momentum
The terror never ends,
I put everything on the line, I was burnt out from memories
I had never been so frustrated so fucking stupid
I had a whirlwind of jagged shards violently circling me
Nobody understood all the shit I was going through
I distanced myself further from the few that knew
It is a miracle I survived those years
Back in that geologic period that I call Geocolense
I try to bury all the sticky tar that was left of my wisdom
My well-being punched drunk from people who were immune
From all the problems that a rusted dented car could make
All decisions were a death sentence!
It should have been great
It should have been cool
It should have been a new start
For this hollow pathetic fool
Maybe just maybe you caught me in the act of deprived self-inflicted torture
Nobody wants to know what is swimming below the surface
An old dinosaur that has yet to evolve from the oceans
A primitive life form with jagged sharp teeth and no brain
A hideous virus that has been trapped as bacteria for a millennium
The geologic period that I will now call Geocolense
Scar after scar after blasted fucking scar
That year defaced many things that I was held
Geograffiti etched into the fabric of my soul
Geothermal therapy was just a no go
Maybe I should be like a Motley Crue record
With a big fat Parental Advisory sticker embedded in my mouth
Maybe then the people who think they know me by now
Will not get offended when I have another one of those days
All the time and money invested into another evaporated dream
Another geological period in this eternal life exposed
Another chapter in a book that should not be read
All my mind was boiled in poison stained into red
Maybe I am the one who has made all the wrong decisions
Maybe what I am feeling now is just a recipe for my disaster
Maybe I should just suffer in silence, my fault and my pain
Maybe all of you should just lock me out in the November rain.
No words can every convey my dismay
Or going down the wrong garden path
Stupid means stupid and I don’t know any other way
I should reflect, smile or laugh
All decisions led to my death sentence.
ChanGEOver
It was an awarding winning situation
It was the right hole at the right time
Going adventurous on the clean cut green
I got it all down to a lovely tee
Changing tracks on the tracking system
Going for broke when you’ve already missed ‘em
Screaming on the tulips in your slippery clogs
It started to thunder on the isle of dogs
Nothing makes sense when there is poetry noise
The sums never add up when you are missing a cent
Nothing ever becomes clear when the fog lifts up its skirt
We are never satisfied of that copy we sent
Changeover and it’s game over
And geologically insane
We got us all crossing the live rail tracks
Got an APT spluttering towards my back
We have trainspotters with their Paddington marmalade
We have she devils on the leather couch waiting to get laid
We have so many things that just don’t belong
We could have got the porridge but we just didn’t get along
Does a leopard ever change its spots when it goes vegan?
Did the Jackal ever cackle when it had anger issues?
Did we become less human when we downloaded the app?
Why don’t we just shut up with this ludicrous crap
Changeover and it’s game over
It’s geographically insane
We got us all skipping on a tightrope
Got an Axl singing on the razor's edge.
And we all know where we have been
But we don’t understand the reason
We went into the wrong direction
The reason we went the wrong way up
That dead end street
Was it to be cool?
Mainly because we are fools
Trying to impress a damsel in distress
Now how do we get out and off this mess?
We complain
But we are the ones to blame
And the fool in the mind is blind
And we travel on and over the condemned bridge
Don’t blame us if you fall into the abyss
And burn!
We have all got to change
Our thoughts
Our steps
Our hearts
And minds
Got to keep
A jingle in your toes
And the sun in your eyes
Drives you blind
And drives you mad
It is going to be a change
You wish you never had
It is a plastic toy
And Barbie girl
Confused with a whim
So give us a twirl
Change over
And bending over
In your moth eaten pullover
Feeling the winds of change
And combing back receding hair
Some things in life
Should not be there
Never makes sense
And pockets full of pence
And the cat has the claws
Just like the in-laws
And the dog got a bag
With its dirty mag
And all of this sounds
Like good shit is going down
And can’t get it to rhyme
It is a blasphemous crime
In the university halls
The tut tut tuts
And that is why
We have to change
Sir!
DisadvantaGEOus
Answers, questions, timing, words
Misinterpretation absurd
Screaming and dreaming
Your baby bullshit is screaming
It is not in your DNA
To acknowledge a life force like me
You are at odds
You don’t understand
The temperature that can be a man
Without your doubts
Without your shouts
You seem to rub off violently
I am everything I can’t possibly be
I am everything that is hate in me
I am frustrating, annoying and contagious
I am against the grain and disadvantageous
Bad views, no news, no clues
Intoxication absurd
Pulling out and pulling away
Your sombre bullshit decay
It is not in your head
To acknowledge constructively
You are to blame
You can’t say my name
The boiling point that is in this man
Without a gauge
I am in a rage
You seem to rub me off violently
I am everything the world told you I couldn’t be
I am everything my mother had nightmares about
I am destroying, deleting and depleting
I am against your life and disadvantageous
Bloodshot eyes, snotty nose, no tissues
I am a virus diluted with whiskey
Wiping off the shit you placed on me
Your naïve views of the fake fucking news
It has forced into your head
To acknowledge something that was constructed
For them to play a game
You don’t understand
The tipping point of all humanity
Without a measure of doubt
We are a metric system rounded up
It all seems to vibrate violently
I am everything that Facebook would like deleted
I am everything the censors clamber over to reach
I am furious, delirious it’s goddamn ludicrous
I am against everything I am disadvantageous
Fists clenched, ears burning, memories explode
I am the anger you should not mix with
Inside I am pounding and grinding
Your mouth and it’s bullshit erodes
It is not in your puny little brain
To acknowledge that you are meaningless
You talk the talk
Try to walk the walk
But you don’t understand who is the man
So play with your boys
And your worn out sex toys
That you use so violently
I am everything you can never touch
I am everything you desire so much
I am fire, I am insane, I will never be the same
Totally unnecessary and so disadvantageous.
SurGEOn
Cutting up the memories that you need to fade away
Sawing and a clawing and shedding a tear a day
Got a little pretty white suit with straps to tie you down
You’ve got it all sussed like when the pond drowned the duck
You are all crackers and going a little bit senile
The pressure in your heads means your brain cells swell
You are swollen from thought you will burst like a balloon
But I have a lot of shit to do so I hope it ends soon
We have an encrypted folder full of daily photos
A thousand little fake innocents who forgot to wear clothes
Cut it out and delete and return back to the start
Get a life, get a honey and try to grow a heart
No matter how much of the shit we try to cut out
Like a worm cut in two we always have double trouble
We try to erase and sometimes we try to rewind
But we got ourselves in a tangle and no one burst the bubble
You have to be cold like the room of a surgeon
You have to be mechanical and clinical in every way
Don’t let the world do a living breathing autopsy on you
Because you will be no good to anyone when they’re through
When all your best pieces of your life are laying around
Fragile like a Chinese vase shattered beyond repair
It doesn’t matter how often you do the spring cleaning
Dust will settle, acid will corrode life’s not fair
When your intestines are docile and tired in knots
When you intensify passion and you get blood clots
When your heart is pumping venom to your brain
Too late to cut your losses in this never-ending game
Sometimes we can delete our memories way to easily
Like a surgeon cutting away at fat in a doctors surgery
Somethings are incorrect and should not be so polite
We are blind in the end as we never see the light
Nit picking and limb kicking body blow surprise
Squirting fresh lemon juice into someone’s eyes
Find someone else to blame when it’s really you
Scalpel and scalped blunt scissors so askew
There is nothing greater than a methodical surgeon
Instead you are nothing more than a butcher
In a back street run down discount store
You had self-discipline when the sun brightly
But in this dead end darkest ever alley
You are just a withered rose without water
Hacking away at limps hardened with rigor mortis
The butcher’s knife so blunt it may as well be stone
Why are you so determined to hack away these lines
You should walk away with dignity and leave the past alone.
DunGEOn
It has been too good lately
There has been too much daylight between the last episode and the next
It has been surreal really
How I have not gone mental for a couple of weeks almost satisfying
It has been worrying me
Knowing the long interlude means the next time I snap it will be titanic
It will be coming soon
Take cover and hide this will not be pretty at all
When I am done
I will be in the wrong
So many fingers pointing at me
Did you hear?
Did you feel fear?
When the rage popped out of me
He did it again
He must be insane
There is something not right in that boy
Phone the police
Lock him away
Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon
It was violent but not physical
I have so much anger stored inside of me that I needed to release
Obviously I shouldn’t have
Said all those darkest cruellest things that seem unjust and unfair and excessive
My words cut deep
I know that I was too far gone and too over the edge but what could I do?
I feel I’ve let everyone down
That is the usual feeling I have had inside me for the last 40 years
When I am through
What do you do?
Maybe reflect and shed a tear
Did you know
Did you see
How the fuck can you live with me?
He did it again
This is not a game
There is something distasteful in that boy
Phone the military
Soldiers of death
Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon
I was powerless
I just cannot do this anymore the feelings I have all compressed inside of me
Broken fuse
So many things and so many people expect so much of me but in the end
I am just a failure
If I can’t keep my own feelings to myself, my doubts my anxiety issues covered
How can I survive
When I am no good to no one and the future will only bring more tears and tragedy
When I am alone
How do you do?
So many of my own thoughts judging me
Did I hear?
The neighbours moan
When the volcano erupted in me
He did it again
Tear up his contract
We don’t want
Impressum
Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Texte: Darren Hobson
Bildmaterialien: Darren Hobson
Cover: Darren Hobson
Lektorat: Darren Hobson
Korrektorat: Darren Hobson
Satz: Darren Hobson
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.10.2021
ISBN: 978-3-7487-9606-0
Alle Rechte vorbehalten
Widmung:
This is dedicated to all the survivors out there, keep safe and well.