Chapter One

"I need to have a word with your parents,"

Stephanie Grayson looked at me with boring eyes. I called her in my office after I saw with my own two eyes how she tripped Veronica Carlson with her foot that made the latter fall on the near fountain inside the school premises. Stephanie is the campus Queen Bee and a senior student here at St. Therese School for Girls. I don't know what that is but it's been going around campus. I've only been the new guidance counselor at St. Therese School for Girls for six months. I was a guidance counselor at a public high school in Brooklyn for more than two years when I was offered a better deal at St. Therese; it is an exclusive school in the Upper East Side Manhattan.

"Well, I doubt about that," she said not looking at my direction.

She was studying her long colored pink nails and intentionally taking deep breaths as if she was telling me she wants to be out of my office as soon as possible.

"And why is that?" I asked,

She looked at me, meeting my gaze with her eye brow slightly raised.

"My mom and dad are in the Hamptons for a polo match this weekend. Just so you know, our family has been sponsoring that very important event every year even before I was born. The Grayson's couple has so much better to do than to meet a clueless guidance counselor like you." She said with sophistication.

I took a deep breath, I know she is trying to provoke me but I am not going to get in her trap. I know better. This school is way different with the one I've previously worked for. The students here are very hard headed and they're all brat, maybe because they are rich and they paid the school so much money.

"Ms. Grayson, it is also important that your parents know the behaviors you are showing outside your home." I told her.

I'm going to hold my temper even though this girl is getting into my nerves. I won't let her take my guard down. I am the adult here so I should be the one with patience.

"Please tell your parents to take the time to drop by here. It is important for me to speak with them." I said. “I will be sending them a formal letter regarding this,”

I started gathering my files and I can feel her eyes on me. This girl is very dominant and it is obvious that she came from a prominent family. She is pretty, blonde, big blue eyes, long lashes, pink lips maybe that's the reason why she became the campus Queen Bee. I don't understand how that works but I don't think it's fair that she bullies her school mates.

"Headmistress Montgomery will be furious about this, she'll fire you," she snapped at me. "And for your information, I am not bullying Veronica Carlson, she sat on the met steps above me so I was punishing her."

I didn't understand her, but I'd kept my mouth shut. I'll talk to the headmistress about this myself.

"I'll meet your parents when they have the time, please go back to class Ms. Grayson."

She stood up without saying anything and stomp her way out of my office. Girls are so hard to deal with these days. I sighed when I was left alone in my office. I know I am having a way better life now than the one I had when I was a kid. It's been almost six years since I moved here in New York. I've been through so much before but now I finally got the new beginning I was waiting for. I finally got my freedom and I was able to finally forget the dark past that has been haunting me since I was thirteen....

 

 

After I was done with my work at school, I went to the nearest supermarket to shop for some supplies, I want to make some stir fry since I am sick and tired of Chinese take outs. I was at the vegetable sections looking for some asparagus and beans when someone bumped into my push cart.

"Jillian?"

I froze for a while when I saw who the person was; it’s been a while since I heard being called with that name.I was even shock when I turned around and saw the person who called me.

It was Nicole, the girl from my high school.

"How are you? It's been what six years?" she said.

I was speechless, it's been six years since the last time I saw and spoke to her.

"Wow, you look so wholesome and decent" she added.

I looked at her, she is wearing the same revealing and sexy clothes she wore before, I don't know what to say to her, I am ashamed of myself for leaving without saying goodbye to her after everything she had done for me.

"I'm sorry” I mumbled, apparently that's all I can say.

She walked to me and wrapped her arms around me. I can feel the tears start forming in the corner of my eyes.

"Oh, sweetie, don't be like that. I know why you left and I get it. "She said. “A good life was waiting for you out there, and look at you now. It was a good move to leave"

I suddenly felt better after hearing that, Nicole is indeed a good person.

I brought Nicole to my one bedroom apartment in Madison Avenue, I am cooking dinner and I would love to catch up with an old friend. I found out she was visiting her friend here in New York and she was on her way to the train station when we bumped into each other.

"Nice place" she told me while she was checking the whole apartment.

"Thanks"

I was sorting out my grocery and putting it on the cabinet and fridge.

"You really are in good place" she said as she sat on the chair, I notice that she was wearing a micro mini skirt.

I put the chicken in the sink, washing it so that I can start making dinner.

"You know how I dreamt of living a simple life"

She nods. I know she is happy for me.

"I know, and you deserve everything you have right now. You are beautiful, intelligent and you have a good heart. All along I knew you will get what you want, I hope I will get the same chance you had" she mumbled sadly.

I know how hard it was to do what she does, I once did it too and it wasn't a good place to be. I walked to her and hug her tight.

"You can leave too and I am here to help you" I whispered to her.

I really want to help her. It's my turn to help her get out of that place.

"You can stay here with me" I offered.

She sighed and held my hands tightly.

"I am not like you Jill, I am not intelligent, and I didn't even finish high school. It's going to be very hard for me to start a new life." she said hopelessly.

"Nic, don't say that I am here to help, I would love to have you here with me like the old days, but we will have a better life. Just say yes and we will figure it out."

I want her hopes to be up high, like what she did when I was feeling down, when I don't want to live anymore. I want to give her the same assurance she gave me before.

She smiled.

"Come on! I am so happy to see you in a good place, that your dreams are coming true and you deserve all the good things in life Jill, you really do. And as for me, it was my choice to stay like your choice to leave. I didn't finish high school and I didn't go to college because I know I will just waste my time and money. I am not good at that, being like this, doing this is what I am good at. And I want to continue doing the things that I am good at, even though it's immoral in the eyes of others." she explained.

It tears my heart after I heard her piece.

"Nic, this is not the only thing that you are good at, you just have to open your eyes and believed in yourself" I insisted.

"Please Jill, I've decided, I am here to spend some time with you so why don't you finish cooking so that we can eat. I missed your cooking you know..." she smiled at me.

I didn't have any choice but to let it go, I really want to help her but I also have to respect her decision.

I turned to the sink and started chopping the chicken and the vegetables while she remained sitting on the bar stool. I assume she still doesn't know how to cook.

"You know when you disappear. . . Carter didn't stop looking for you"

I froze for a while, I felt a sudden lump in my throat that I can't find the words to say.

"I-I d-didn't tell h-him my my p-pla-ns o-of l-leaving" I said trying my best not to stutter.

I heard her smile.

"Obviously, because he was devastated like he almost killed Keith for thinking that he sent you somewhere else . . . the guy was madly in love with you"

I closed my eyes as my dark past come crashing through me again. . .

 

 

"Jillian!!!"

I tremble as I heard his familiar voice, I knew if he finds me I'll be in hell again. If I can just do something, if I can just vanish forever, I'll do it no matter what it takes, but it seems like the only way out is for me to die.

I was shaking really bad when I heard his footsteps on the stairs, he is close, I knew it, I reached the small table in my room and put it on the door, hoping that he won't be able to open it since he destroyed the lock of my bed room door when I once tried to escape him.

"Jillian" he called me with a teasing voice.

I want to scream, I want to run, I want to get out of this place, but I know it's all going to be useless. I once tried to leave this place, but he was able to find me and I don't even know how he did that. It's just his nature of being good in manipulating people. I just hope somehow I'll be able to find a way on how to get out of here forever.

I sat on my bed trying to calm myself even though it's so hard to keep my composure, I heard him pushing the door.

"Jillian open this door" he demanded

But I sat still on my bed not moving at all.

"Open this fucking door Jillian!!" He yelled.

I tightened my fist, but I still didn't move. I am never going to open that door.

"No! Stay away from me" I screamed.

But he is pushing it so hard that the wooden table is now moving away from the door.

"Hmm" he smirks. "So you're brave now? Let's see what you got when I get there" he said

I felt the tears fell from my eyes, I shouldn't cry, I should show him that I can beat him, that I am no longer weak, that I won't let him tear me into pieces like what he usually does. But all my hopes went crashing through me when he finally opened the door. Fear flowed through my veins that my whole body began to shake again.

"Now show me how brave you are, you little cunt" he cursed at me.

He was leaning at the door, looking at me like I was some sort of dessert that he has been waiting to eat. I stared at him in disgust; he walked towards me and put his hand on my leg I immediately reacted like I was burned.

"Stay away from me" I screamed as I removed his hand, still shaking.

He smirked and grabbed my arms. I felt his tight grip that it felt like my bones are going to break any second.

"Oh, you are shaking! I like it when you are shaking" he teased.

I tried to fight back but he punches me in the stomach that I lost all my energy in pain. He started to kiss my neck while my tears are flowing non-stop, I am shaking and trembling at the same time.

"Please Dan, no!" I whispered

But it seems like he is not hearing me he just continue to do what he's doing, I closed my eyes, as usual he won again, it's useless to fight back, he'll just beat me to death and as usual no one will help me, no one will save me.

Daniel or Dan is my mother's husband; obviously he's not my father. My biological father died in Iraq when I was five, I barely remember what he looks like but what I know is that he loved me so much. My mom re-married when I was thirteen. Dan was like the father I never had when he first moved in to our town, he drives me from and to my school. The whole neighborhood loves him and he really knows how to deal with people. He's known in helping people in the community. We had the perfect family, until one day everything changes.

One Tuesday afternoon, I was wondering why he didn't pick me up at school, so I came home and found him smoking pot, with my mom beside him unconscious. I was so mad at him for letting my mom take drugs and that was the first time that he laid his hands on me and worst of all he took my virginity right beside where my mom was lying.

In just one blink he changed, he became a monster, a devil, I saw the real him, and I found out that all his good deeds were just a show to gain people's trust. I tried to tell my mom what he did but she was too wasted to listen. He takes me almost every day, I tried to tell the authority but they never believed me. No wonder cause outside our home, he was still the same person that everyone thinks he is but once inside the house he takes his masks off. I tried to fight him back but I always get beaten to death, I also tried to escape him but he just found me and he told people how rebel I am. Since then, I stopped hoping that I can get out of his supervision. I stopped hoping that someone will help me, that someone will save me. I lived my life just following his demands, I let him take over my life. I lived on the outside but I am already dead on the inside.

"You never learn you always want to be hurt" he said after taking me again.

He started to put his clothes on while I lied on the bed hopeless, damage and broken.

 

 

The next morning I got off the bed early, I was awake all night because my mom was having some in house party with her wasted friends. I took a quick shower and put my clean clothes on; I dried my hair and tied it on one ponytail. When I got out of the house, Dan is already on the garage fixing the tire of his car. Five years later he still drives me to and from school. He never let me get my own car because he was afraid that I will run away again.

"You look like a zombie" he said.

I chose to be quiet, I walked to the car and stood beside it. I am waiting for him to tell me if I should get in or he will walk me to school.

"Get in," he unconcernedly said after a while.

I got inside, put my seatbelt on and looked around. People thinks that I am lucky to have him with us since aside from providing for our family they all think that he loves me so much that he makes sure I am safe at all times.

"Where is mom?" I mumbled.

I didn't see my mother inside the house and normally whenever she had a party she will just sleep all day.

"She's on duty" he answered.

"Duty" means pimping my mom up with some guys who are looking for a good time. My mom is almost forty years old but she looks younger cause of her skinny shape and hooking her up is Dan's business. I am somehow thankful that he doesn't include me to his "business", I heard him one time telling my mom that he doesn't want to share me with others.

He silently drove me to school, having him around me makes me very uncomfortable. Every day I impatiently count the time it takes him to reach the school. I don't like school that much although I was an honor student before but since Dan forced himself to me and no one tried to listen to me I stopped caring about others too. I stopped making friends, I literally spent my school life alone.

"What time will you be out later?" he asked.

I was about to get off the car when he spoke.

"Four like the usual" I shrugged.

I wonder why he asked, he knows my schedule since he was the one who chose my classes. He wants to know every single detail of what I am doing.

"Be out at three, tell your teacher that you are sick or something" he demands.

I stared at him wondering what he wants.

"I can't, I have biology and we're doing a lab exam today" I refused.

He grabbed my arm and tightened his grip. I almost screamed in pain.

"When I tell you something, all you need to do is listen and follow" he whispered in my ear, emphasizing every word. "Now be here at three, someone will pick you up. It's time for you to help your mom" he added.

I already knew what he meant, he is pimping me with some dirty old man who wants to fuck a young girl like me.

"No, please Dan, don't sell me. I will do everything you say, not just this." I begged.

He smirked and loosens his grip.

"Really? Well, it's too late, your mother is not as in demand as before so as much as I like to have you alone I can't" he said then pushed me to the door.

I almost fell on the ground, thank god I found my balance.

"Hey don't mess this up, they already paid you" he even said before driving away.

I thought I was going to collapse, I have been living in hell for the last five years of my life and I don't know what to call on what will happen to me later. I am so disgusted with myself having Dan force himself to me and now another man will be doing the same.

I have to think of something, I can't let him do that to me. I walked to my class thinking of a way out. If I won't go, I'll get my ass beaten to death again, but if I go I am just giving him the right to sell me again.

I came in to class and sat on the chair at the back like the usual, Mr. Brown our Math teacher is still not there.

"Hey daddy's girl"

It was Mark, one of the jocks who love teasing me "daddy's girl" since I am almost 18 where most of the kids are getting their replacement car, I still have Dan drive me every day, if they only knew the truth behind his "kindness".

I stared at him in daggers.

"Shut up Mark" Max said.

Max is the leader of the jocks, he is the captain of the lacrosse team and the ultimate playboy. He changes girlfriends every two weeks.

I didn't react at all, I kept my eyes on my desk but on the corner of my eye I saw Max asked Mark to exchange seats.

"Sorry about Mark, Jill" he apologizes.

"Jill" I haven't heard that for a very long time, my friends used to call me that but since I stopped making friends, no one actually called me on my nickname because most of the time I just hear "Winters" or "Jillian".

I shrugged my shoulders keeping my eyes on the desk.

"Hey, do you have plans on Friday night?" I heard him asked.

I wasn't sure if it was me who he's asking so I look at his direction.

"Are you free on Friday night?" he repeats. "There is this party at the old warehouse and I'm wondering if you want to come with me."

Yeah! He is indeed talking to me.

"No" I shook my head

I heard him sighed.

"Come on, is this about your dad? I can ask permission if you want, you know everyone is going" he whispered and even leaned forward to my direction.

"He's not my dad" I corrected him.

My real father will never force himself to me and will never sell me out.

"Yeah, right, step father whatever so are you coming with us?" he asked.

I met his gaze, Max is so good looking and he smells so damn good too, that was the first time that I let someone be that close to me except for Dan and mom of course. I felt like I was going to melt so I was the first one to look down.

"I c-cant, I have a lot of things to do" I reasoned.

He was about to say something when Mr. Brown came in and started the discussion right away.

My heart beats so fast as I heard the 3'oclock ring, it means that Spanish is over and Biology is next. I have been thinking of the best thing to do on how to escape later's event. But nothing came into my mind; whatever I choose I'll always lose.

"Ms. Winters aren't you going to your next class?" I heard Ms. Gertrude asked.

Apparently, the classroom is empty and I am the only student left. I feel like I am glued to where I am sitting, this is the time that Dan has been waiting for, the time where I finally want to die.

"Yeah" I nod.

I nervously put my things inside my backpack, and silently made my way out of the room. My heart is still beating so fast. The hallway is empty; everyone is in their respective classes. For sure no one will even notice that I am missing, I barely talk to someone, I don't even have one single friend, since I started high school, it was always been me and myself.

After I dropped my books in my locker, I made my way to the parking lot, I hate doing it but do I have any choice?

I was walking to the parking lot when a black old pickup truck stopped in front of me.

"You Dan's kid?" a man in his late 20's asked.

I was hesitated, I want to say no, I want to say that I don't know who Dan is but I know my fate when I get home so I nodded.

"Get in" he demanded.

He opened the door beside the driver seat, I was shaking when I got inside, he was wearing a black leather jacket and faded jeans, and he looks like the villain in an action movie.

"Dan was right" he smirked as he ran his gaze through my whole body then drove away.

It took him merely 15 minutes before we reach our destination but I felt like he was driving forever. He stopped in a huge but looks like an abandoned building. I followed him as he made his way to the door, he took the machine and pushed something, after a while someone answered.

"Hey, am I late for the party?" he asked.

"No, you're just on time, Carl is not even here yet" another guy answered on the other line

"Great!"

Then he pushed another button that unlocked the front door of the building, he walked inside and I quietly followed him. He took the stairs and I stayed behind him, on the third floor he stopped in front of one of the apartment doors.

I think they were having a party because I can hear their sound system from the outside. They were expecting him because he didn't knock but someone opened the door.

A guy who has the same age as the guy who picked me up at school opened the door. He looks much decent than the first guy.

"Is she the girl?" the guy who opened the door who I will call neat guy.

"Yeah, she is, nice right?" the guy who picked me up who I will call creepy answered.

The neat guy ran his gaze at me from head to toe.

"Don't you think she's too young for this?" neat guy asked again.

I am taller for my age, but the innocence is obvious on my face. I am wearing my usual baggy jeans and sweatshirt with my usual converse. People often tell me that I am beautiful because I look like my mother; she was the captain of the cheerleader in her high school and was an It Girl.

"Does it matter? She looks fresh" the creepy guy said.

"Is she even 18?" neat guy asked again.

Creepy guy stared at him with irritation.

"Come on Nick, don't worry too much okay? We have her dad's consent, so please stop worrying and just enjoy your turn later." creepy guy said then tapped neat guy's back and made his way inside the apartment.

Neat guy who's name is Nick just shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on in" he told me.

I knew what the reason why I was there; there is no time to back out. I'll just close my eyes and swallow everything like what I usually do whenever Dan forces his self to me.

 

 

I was walking to my locker feeling so much pain, I don't want to go to school, actually I don't even want to get off my bed but I decided to just go to school since Dan is staying in the house today. My whole body aches; I was f*cked by 5 different guys yesterday. The creepy guy's friend had his bachelor party and I was their gift to him.

My whole body is shaking in pain and I can't even walk properly. I opened my locker to get my books, hands still shaking.

I walked to Math, as usual Mr. Brown is still not there, I sat on my usual seat at the back, I notice that the jocks aren't there still. I sat there in silence while waiting for the class to start.

"I didn't know that was your business"

I looked up, it was Nicole Sanchez; my slutty classmate, there was a rumor that she slept with almost half of the guys at school.

I cocked my eyebrow, wondering what she meant.

"I knew it, you are not just an ordinary girl" she said.

I still don't know what she is trying to say.

"What are you talking about?" I uninterestingly asked.

She smirked at me.

"Hey Sanchez I think that's not your seat" then I heard Max say going to our direction.

"I know!" she growled at Max. "Deny it all you want Winters but I saw you yesterday" she whispered to me before walking away to her seat.

I blushed in embarrassment; I got what she was saying. She saw me picked up by creepy guy yesterday. People has been ignoring me for years and I want to keep it that way, if she tell the whole school for sure they will all think I am a slut.

"Hey Jill"

I heard Max's voice but it seems like his words are not registering in my brain, all I can think right now is the possibility that Nicole might blast my secret. If that happens, how can I defend myself? How can I tell them that Dan just forced me again? If no one believed me before? Who will believe me now?

I can't risk that, I have to stop Nicole for telling everyone.

The bell rang at lunch time; I hurriedly made my way to the cafeteria looking for Nicole. She was sitting with her usual cliques with their usual thing; boy hunting. I hesitantly walked to their table.

"N-Nicole c-can we talk?" I hesitantly asked.

She raised her brow, smirked at me then looked at her friends.

"I didn't know Winters can speak" the blonde girl who I think her name is Gia teased.

I didn't react to that, the only reason why I came there is to talk to Nicole.

"About what?"

I took a deep breath, I know that she knows what I am talking about but as usual she wants to play.

"I-I c-can't talk here" I said, looking around the crowd. "I'm wondering if we can t-talk i-in p-private" I asked.

She sighed, and then ran her fingers through her hair.

"Okay" she agreed.

I waited for her to stand up then when she walked out of the cafeteria, I followed her, she went inside the ladies restroom, after she checked that no one was there, she immediately put the "out of order" sign on the door handle so that no one will come in.

"Is this private enough?" she asked.

I nod.

"Yeah, Thanks!"

She leaned on the sink, beside the mirror; put her hands on her chest with her eyes on me, which made uncomfortable.

"Talk!" she yelled at me.

I took a deep breath, I don't like the way she talks to me but I don't have a choice. I need to be patient because I am the one who needs a favor.

"P-please N-Nicole don't tell anyone about what y-you s-saw" I said almost a whisper.

I never expected that I will stoop down to someone just to keep the secret that I didn't want to have in the first place. It was all Dan's fault, no it was my mother's fault, if she was just brave enough to kick him out of the house then none of this will happen.

"It was your work right? Then you shouldn't be afraid of it" she said.

"No!" I yelled. "It wasn't my work, I just didn't have any choice" I said trying to keep my composure.

I don't want to cry anymore because of Dan but it hurts me so much that people think I am a bad person because Dan forced me to do some things that I never wanted to do.

"I never wanted to do any of it" I cried "If I only have any choice, I-if I c-can only escape I'll do it"

I felt the warm liquid running through my cheeks, I don't want her to see me crying, I don't want her to feel sorry for me so I kept my head down.

"I know" I heard her say.

I wiped my tears then looked up.

"I knew everything Jillian" she added as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

It looks to her that we we're just having a casual conversation but to me it was my life and my future that we are conversing about.

"W-what else do you know?"

I don't know why but I suddenly felt like I wasn't alone, like someone finally know and understands what I have been going through.

She stopped for a minute and fixed her tank top.

"Everything" she answered timidly.

I became even more interested; I never expected that of all people it'll be Nicole who will understand. She is literally the whore in class. She doesn't care if people think of her as a slut or dumb. She was the Regina George of our class minus the wealth.

"Everything? As in all?"

She raised her brow and sighed with irritation.

"Yes as in all, my god Winters we've been in the same class since 3rd grade and I was just a few blocks away from your house so we practically grew up together." She explained.

Then I realized what she said. Yeah I remember that we were in the same class but we were never friends that's why I kind of forgotten it. Besides, I have always been friends (before Dan ruined my life) with the top in class while she was friends with those who were bottom in class.

"I saw the way he looks at you" she said with a bit of concern in her tone. "So when you came forward I knew you were telling the truth"

My eyes widened, I can still remember the way people looked at me when Dan told them that I was lying, that I was accusing him to get back with him because he caught me taking drugs. He even surrendered his own drugs to the police as evidence that I am indeed taking drugs.

They all thought I was insane, that I was in a dark place. Other's felt sorry for me while others hated me for being such a rebel. People in our neighborhood even donated cash to support the expenses of my "rehabilitation". Of course Dan just kept the money since I wasn't really an addict, but he sent me to his friend's house where I was treated like a pig. I was locked in a room where I wasn't allowed to go out. I have been there for more than 2 months. They supported me with food so that I will look healthy and cured like the usual image of those who had gone to rehab.

"No one believed me when I went to the authority" I said keeping myself from crying again.

She leaned on the sink again and put her hands on her chest, the same position she had when we first entered that room.

"I did" she whispered. "I do. . . I believe you, but I was also 13 that time, and if they didn't believe an intelligent girl like you? How are they going to believe a girl like me?" she explained her side.

The tears roll into my cheeks again, I am not mad that she didn't have the courage to help me in fact I am so happy to finally know that there is someone out there who believes in me. Someone who knows what I am going through, someone who took the time to think of me. All these years I thought I was being ignored, I thought no one will ever believe me.

"S-sorry if I didn't help you" she apologizes.

She looked at the ceiling trying to keep her tears from falling from her eyes. I feel so overwhelmed that I didn't help myself from running towards her and hugged her so tight.

"Thank you" I said. "Knowing that you believe me is enough reason for me to hope again." I added in between sobs.

She wrapped her arms around me, which surprised me again. But she immediately loosens my embraced.

"Come on, let's stop this drama it's ruining my make up" she said.

I smiled and we both wiped our tears.

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me, I am not going to tell anyone" she whispered.

"Thank you"

Then she turned to the mirror and fixed her make up while I stood there and watched her.

"You don't need to wait for me, your secret is safe with me but we're still not friends"

I was a bit disappointed but I just nod at her as my answer and made my way out of the ladies room.

 

The bell rang for the last time to notify everyone that the day just ended (as if students don't know that). I feel much better after my conversation with Nicole earlier. I don't want to go home but I don't have any choice. For sure Dan is already waiting for me in the parking area.

After I dropped some of my books in my locker and tiredly made my way to the hallway.

"Jill!"

I heard someone called my name but I didn't bother to turn around to know who it was. I'm sure it wasn't Nicole since we're not friends and also the voice sounded a guy. Maybe it was just some of the guys who love to make fun of others.

"I didn't know you walk so fast"

It was Max; for the past days I've noticed him trying to get close to me.

I shrugged my shoulders as my answer.

"Going home?" he asked trying to create a topic.

I've never been close to any guy before since I only just entered puberty when Dan started forcing himself to me.

"Yeah" I answered.

"Want a ride?" he offered.

I shook my head.

"Your dad's here?"

"He's not my dad" I corrected. "And yeah he's here"

He nods but still followed me.

"I figured." He said. "How about I asked you out this weekend?"

I stopped and looked at him.

"It's not about the party, I know you said no but how about we hang out before hand?"

This is the first time that a guy asked me out. I don't know what came into his head that he suddenly showed interest in me. I know I am not his type since he usually goes out with the cheerleaders or it girls and I am none of them.

I am just me, the girl who wears baggy clothes, the girl who barely talks to nobody, and the girl who have a dark life so I really don't know what interests him about me. Maybe, he is just playing with me, but I felt so strange that it seems I am liking the attention that he is giving me.

"Sorry Max, but I can't" that's all I was able to say

He put his hands on the pocket of his green sweater.

"Please don't say no" he told me then stopped in front of me "Okay, why don't we do this, let me walk you to your car then we can talk, you can think about my offer tonight and give me your answer tomorrow."

I was about to decline, but he suddenly grabs my hand and pulled me out of the hallway. All eyes are on us and the warmth of his hands made me feel like I was finally safe.

I don't know how Dan is going to react but it looks like my hand doesn't want to let go of his hand.

As usual Dan is already waiting in the parking lot. He was standing beside his car. I immediately let go of Max's hand when he stared at me in daggers. I knew he won't be happy seeing me hanging out with some guy at school.

"Hi Mr. Winters" Max greeted him.

"Andrews" I corrected Max.

Dan isn't my father, so I never took his last name. Winters is my biological father's last name.

"Sorry Mr. Andrews" he apologizes.

Dan nodded and smiled at Max, which is strange.

"Get in" he told me.

Max stood still beside the car, I smiled at him before getting in the vehicle.

"Mr. Andrews" he called Dan who was about to get in the driver's seat.

He walked to the door of the driver's seat.

"What is it kid?" Dan asked.

I saw the curiosity on his face.

"I-I was wondering if I can hang out with Jillian this weekend?" he asked permission.

My eyes widened, I didn't expect that Max would do that. I was afraid that Dan might do something with him. I was afraid that he might hurt him. I was about to get off the car when Dan spoke.

"Well, you're not going to hang out with me so I think it's better if you asked her about it" he said.

I saw Max smiled from the window.

"But is it fine with you sir if I asked her out?"

'Yeah, if it's fine with her then its fine with me" he answered.

I smiled even though I am still wondering why Dan allowed Max to go out with me.

"Thank you sir" Max said with so much excitement.

I even saw them shook hands before Max ran towards his car like a little kid.

Then Dan got in the car, I was still smiling like an idiot.

"Say yes to him and you'll be dead" he growled at me.

I knew it! How can I be so idiot to believe that he will actually let me? Dan will never let me to be happy. He's an evil, a monster, and he only wants me to suffer.

The smile vanished from my face but I didn't say anything, it's just useless. No matter what I say he will only listen to himself. I just looked outside and waited for him to drive away.

At home, mom is as always wasted. She is lying on the couch, eyes closed and shaking. Dan threw his jacket on her face to wake her up. She's high, so most of the time she is having hallucinations and withdrawals.

I didn't care about them so I went straight to my room. Our house is just a small two-story, two-bedroom home. My dad bought it when he and mom got married, but since he died it has always been me and my mom. I only have few memories of my dad because he spent his time in the army.

Sometimes, I can't help myself from thinking, if dad didn't die for sure my life will be different. My life will not be like this, I will grow up a happy kid. Mom will be on her best self and no one can ever touch me.

But life is so unfair. God is unfair, he took my dad's life even before I was old enough to remember him. He let my mom married Dan and he let him live with us in this hell of a place.

I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes, I know I shouldn't blame god for it. But I just can't help it, they say that God will not give you trials you won't overcome, that you just have to keep your faith and let him handle everything. But it's been five freaking years and I still am here, I am still suffering and I still can't figure out on when God will let me see the light. 

Friday is the day that I hate the most. It means tomorrow is Saturday and no school and it also means that I have no choice but to stay at home with Dan and Mom.

Students hurriedly went to their respective classes after they heard the bell rang. I boringly walked to Math.

Nicole was sitting on the second row with Gia and I saw her smiled at me when I passed by so I smiled back. I am happy that even though she said we're not friends, our relationship somehow improved.

I sat on my usual seat, at the back of course. Max is already sitting beside my desk smiling at me like an idiot. His eyes followed my every move made me want to melt any minute. Of course, Mr. Brown is still not there. I love how punctual he is.

"Good morning Jill" he greeted me with the smile that doesn't leave his face.

"Morning"

He stood and moved his chair over to mine so that our arms our brushing each other. His fellow jocks are busy checking something on their cell phones.

"So, did you think about it?" he asked.

I didn't sleep much since I was thinking of the best way to decline his offer. Max didn't show me anything wrong and I really don't know how to turn him down because I know inside my heart that I want to go out with him. I actually would like to try being normal. I wanna experience going out on a date but if I say yes Dan will kill me.

I took a deep breath and turned to him.

"You know Max, as much as I would like to go out with you. . . I can't. . I'm sorry" I said apologetically.

He shook his head.

"Why? What's the problem? Your dad already gave you permission, so what's wrong?"

I sighed, I don't know how to answer him.

"I just have a lot of things to do" I said.

I know that was the lamest excuse ever.

"Jill, I am not asking your whole weekend, I am only asking few hours of your time. I promise we won't be out late. . Please?" he begged.

I bit my lip, I really don't know what to tell him anymore. I didn't expect he can be this persuasive.

"I know what you think of me, I know you see me as a player and I am, but one thing you don't know is I have had a crush on you since the first time I saw you in 8th grade, when you walk to Biology wearing that blue jersey jacket, I can still remember how cute you looked in that jacket" he said then smiled.

I was surprised that I knew my face was so red. I looked down in embarrassment. That was two years ago and I can hardly even remember how I look in 8th grade.

"I tried to talk to you but you were so distant, like you are always afraid or something and I felt like you don't like me. But I really like you Jill, that's why last week I gathered all the courage I have to talk to you so please don't turn me down"

I closed my eyes, with his confession he just made it more difficult for me to say no. I took another deep breath.

"Alright" I surrendered.

"Alright? Yes you are going out with me?" he asked with confusion.

I nod and a smile grew to his face.

"But in one condition"

"Anything"

"I can't do it after class or tomorrow or on Sunday. I can only do it now" I said.

He cocked his brows.

"Now? As in right now?"

I nod.

"But I have lacrosse practice later" he reasoned out.

I shrugged.

"I see, well, all I have is now. I can skip class if you will skip lacrosse practice"

He stopped for a while. I guess he is trying to think if he will skip his lacrosse practice, besides that's the only thing that he is really good at.

"Okay, let's do it" he said with conviction.

I laughed with his reaction. Last week the Max that I know was the player, the jack ass who loves to break innocent hearts. I didn't expect there's more in him, I didn't know that he can be very persuasive and it flatters me to know that he has a crush on me.

He stood up and offered me his hand.

"Let's go!"

I cocked my brow, when I said we will skip class I meant we will at least finish Mathematics, besides Mr. Brown will be there any time now.

"Aren't we going to at least finish Math?" I asked.

He shook his head, and he grabs my hand and we hand in hand made our way out of the classroom.

Max drove to the mall near the school since I told him that we need to go back before the class ends since Dan will be at school by that time. I knew he was wondering why I should keep our date from Dan since he already agreed that Max can take me out but I am glad the he didn't push it and just kept it to himself.

That was the second time that I was able to go to the mall, the first was before my mom got married and that was 6 years ago or so. I am so embarrassed how amazed I was to see the huge changes in the facilities. I love how colorful the stalls are. I realized that was the first time in five years that I actually appreciated something.

We were walking down the hall when my attention was caught by a purple floral dress that's displayed in the front of a stall.

I remember how I love wearing fancy dresses when I was a kid, I never liked wearing jeans or pants. I just want to wear dresses. My mother used to read me stories of Cinderella, Snow White and Little Mermaid so I grew wanting to be like them. Every day, I want to look like one of the Disney Princesses, I never go out of the house without making sure that I look nice but everything changes because of Dan.

"That will look good on you"

I turned to look on my side and found Max looking at the same dress. I immediately shook my head.

"No, I don't wear those" I said and started to walk away from the store.

He followed me right away and keeps up my pace.

"Why not? I don't mean to intrude Jill but why are you so distant with people?" he asked as we continue to walk around the establishment.

I stopped and looked around, I don't know if I should tell him, Max just moved in town a couple of years ago so he basically doesn't have any idea about the scandal that I was once involved in.

"I know that we just started to get along but you know you can trust me" he added.

I looked up to meet his gaze and I saw the concern deep within his eyes. I can see that Max is a kind person since I started to get to know him but I am still half hearted to completely give him my trust. I am also afraid that he might stay away from me once he finds out who I have been for the past five years. Besides not everyone is Nicole, they might not understand.

"I just don't feel like trusting people" I mumbled.

I saw he was disappointed but he just took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders. I am glad he decided to let it go. Then he started to walk again.

"Max?" I called as I remained standing there.

He turned around and walked towards my direction.

"Dan. . . He is not the person you think he is. . . Be careful okay?"

I saw how confused he is from what I said. I know I sounded like I was threatening him or something.

"He's your dad right?" he asked for confirmation.

I shook my head.

"No. . . He's my mom's husband" I answered. "You know what forget it! We only have a few hours, let make it count okay?" I said.

This time it was me who grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the arcade center. I rarely get this chance to be able to go out of my howl so I am going to make sure that it'll be worth it.

We made it to school at exactly on time before the last class ends. Students are still in their respective classes and Dan is not even there yet.

I had so much fun, we played like little kids in the arcade, and then ate, and then window shopped. I also got to know Max better. His parents are separated, and he is living with his dad while his younger brother is living with his mom. His dad remarried but his step mom died 2 years ago so they decided to move in St. Louis from Nashville. Lacrosse is his favorite sport but he also plays basketball, he listens to punk and alternative rock, his favorite color is blue, his zodiac is Gemini and only had one serious relationship.

"Thank you" I whispered.

We were sitting on the Carterch near the soccer field while waiting for the bell to ring.

"Did you have fun?" he asked.

"Yeah, I had so much fun" I grinned.

"I'm glad" he said and his fingers trailed my arm.

I can't deny the voltage of electricity that runs through my veins whenever we touch each other.

"Thank you for showing me how to have fun"

He smiled and scooted over so our arms are brushing each other, the warmth of his skin gave me tingles in the silly place (alright! That's a song).

"My pleasure, I hope we can do this next time"

I shrugged my shoulders, I don't know if I can be able to go out with him again.

"You know my life is way more complicated than what it looks like" I said trying to choose the perfect words on how to describe it. "I don't live a normal life Max"

He looks at me with curiosity, waiting for me to say more.

"What do you mean? I notice that you barely share your life to me, don't get me wrong Jill, I just felt like you are always hesitant to talk. . That you are always afraid, that you carefully choose the words you say. . At first I thought it was just me that you don't trust, which I completely understand but today I saw that it's not just me who you don't trust, it's everybody who you don't trust, it's the surroundings that you don't trust and I have been trying to understand why?" He looked at me with so many questions in his eyes.

All he said was true, that I am always afraid, I have been afraid for the past five years. Dan literally took everything from me; my freedom, my happiness, my dignity. When I look at myself in the mirror all I see is a girl who has been dead for five years now, a girl who is trying to find the light and for the longest time being in the dark she stopped hoping and gave up.

"E-everything you said was true" I confessed.

He held my hands.

"But why?"

I was about to say something when the bell rang, that was the sign that the day finally ended, and it was a sign too that I wasn't suppose to talk to him about what's really going on.

I felt a sudden pain in my chest knowing that I am going back to reality, that this dream is over, that I'll be back to hell in a moment.

"I'm sorry" that's all I was able to tell him.

He sighed and it hurts me to know that he is disappointed, so I moved to close the almost 2 inches space between us and put my lips to his. He immediately responded.

For the first time I kissed someone without me being forced to do it, and it felt so damn good, he is a good kisser, his lips were soft and gentle.

"See you Monday" I whispered after our passionate kiss.

He grinned, nod and once again we kissed.

 

Like the usual, Dan is already in the parking area when I walked out of the school. He is standing at his usual spot with his usual self, just by looking at him makes me wanna puke. I hate every inch of him, his disgusted lips, nose and those devil eyes.

When I reached the car I get in without saying anything to him, then he got in and drove away. We drove in silence; which very odd for me. He is not usually quiet, often than not he listens to the radio with his lame music.

He still didn't say anything until we reach the house; I immediately got off and made my way inside our house. Mom wasn't there; for sure she is on duty again.

I was about to go to my room when he suddenly grabs my arm, I screamed in pain when he twist it to my back.

"What's your problem?" I cried.

He pulled my hair and turned my face towards him.

"You whore, I saw you kissing that boy. . . I knew it! You are just like your mother, you're a fucking slut . . . how dare you play behind my back?"

I stopped in horror. This is not happening. . This couldn't happen.

"W-What are you talking about?" I asked, pretending not to know what he is saying.

He pulled my hair even harder and tightens his grip on my arm.

"Don't fool me bitch, I went to your school, your teacher called me and told me you skipped class, did you really think you can escape me? You are wrong. . . Now you will get your punishment"

He dragged me to the room while I cried and screamed in pain, I feel like my arm is broken and that my head is already bleeding. He threw me in the bed and took off his belt from his jeans. I screamed again when the leather landed on my skin merciless. He slapped me with it until I don't have any more energy left to cry in pain.

I lied in my bed, breathing heavily; my whole body is numb with so much pain. I thought he was done but I was wrong. He unzipped my jeans and took it off of me with my undergarments, then he found a scissor and cut my sweater and brassier and then he stood up and took off his jeans. My entire body is numb but I still felt the pain when he put his manhood on me. I want to fight back but I was so weak that I can't even speak. Tears are flowing non-stop on my face but he didn't care at all, he just took me again, and took me one more time and another time and another time.

When he was finally done, he left me lying in my bed cold and naked.

 

 

Chapter Two

 

I was still in pain when I went to school on Monday, I was wearing my usual baggy jeans and sweater that covers the bruise all over my body. Thank god it’s cold so I don’t look like an idiot wearing winter clothes to cover all my bruises.

I can’t even walk properly, and it seems like Dan is really punishing me for kissing Max cause for the first time he didn’t drive me to school.

Apparently, when I skipped school on Friday, the guidance counselor called our house and since Mom was out, it was Dan who answered. He went to school to look for me, perhaps afraid that I’ll escape. He looked all over the school for me and reached the school field when he saw me and Max kissing. My teachers thought something was wrong about me since I wasn’t at school. I never skipped school before since that was the only time that I can be out of Dan’s sight.

I made my way to my locker like as if I am having dysmenorrhea, my whole body is sore. All I want is to lie in bed but I don’t want to be anywhere near Dan.

“You look wasted!”

I closed the door of my locker to see who it was, that was Nicole, wearing his usual, tank top and short skirt and high heels. Though I notice her new hair color, her usual brownish locks is now auburn red.

“I’m sore” I whispered.

She looked at me.

“Business again?”

I shook my head, I remember what Dan did to me on Friday and I felt my tears forming in my eyes. I can’t even talk since I am afraid that I might breakdown, the last thing I wanna do right now is to cry in front of the whole school.

I felt Nicole grabbed my hand to the ladies room.

“He did it again?” she asked.

I nodded then I heard her took a deep breath.

“Why are you letting him do that, why don’t you just leave? Escape?” she said impatiently.

I shook my head.

“I tried . . . so many times” I said hopelessly.

I stood near the sink as I watched her asked the people in there to vacate the place. When she was sure that no one was there but us she looked at her reflection in the mirror and pulled the strap of her brassiere like what she also did the last time.

“I am leaving” she said without even looking at me.

I cocked my brow.

“Where are you going?” I asked unconsciously

“I am going to Florida . . . for good.”

I widened my eyes; she is going to another state? For what?

“Why?” I asked with curiosity.

She smiled at me.

“I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to be with my alcoholic dad who beats my mom every time he gets drunk and I don’t want to be with my mom who’s secretly banging our 17 year old neighbor” she said without even looking at me.

I looked at her with sympathy. I didn’t expect that she is going through something like that. I am not the only miserable person after all. I just envy her on how well she manages her situation. The way she carries herself you will never notice that she lives in a home like that.

“Do you have any relative in Florida?” I asked trying to figure what will happen to her once she leaves.

She shook her head.

“Nope, just a friend . . . Do you want to come with me?”

I was shocked with her latter statement. She wants me to come with her? Is she serious? Is she for real?

“Are you serious?”

She smirked and rolled her big blue eyes.

“Of course, I am not telling anyone about my plan, not even my girls but since you wanna escape to your hell of a life I am giving you this chance.” She walked towards my direction. “My friend will pick me up tomorrow here at school after lunch if you want you can come with me.” She offered.

I didn’t know what to tell her, this is the chance that I have been waiting for.

“How are we going to live there? Are we going to work? Where are we going to live?” I need to know what will happen to us first before I give her an answer.

She shook her head.

“You know what Jillian you have too much questions no wonder why you can’t escape your step father, you worry too much. It’s now or never so are you in or out?”

Nicole was right, this is my only chance to be free, it’s gonna be now or never. I can finally escape from Dan, it doesn’t matter how I will live in Florida what’s important right now is I can finally be free.

“I’m in” I said almost a whisper.

She smiled.

“Great! See you tomorrow then and please don’t bring too much stuff so that no one will notice us” she said before making her out of the ladies room.

I looked at my reflection on the mirror. I can’t help but smile. This is it. I can finally be free from Dan and from the hell of a life that I currently have.

 

I woke up early the next day, I didn’t sleep much because I can’t help not to think about Nicole’s plan. Last night when everyone was asleep I packed some of my clothes on my back pack. I can’t bring any other bag or luggage because I don’t want Dan to get suspicious.

After I took a quick shower, I made my way to the kitchen to make some coffee, I was surprised to see mom sitting on the dining chair having some coffee and bread.

“Hey you go home early after school, I have visitors later”

I just nod as an answer. I can’t help not to feel sad because I am leaving her for good. This will be the last time that we will see each other. After everything she’s done and not done for me I can never change the fact that she is my mother. Despite of her poor judgments and bad decisions she is still the woman who carried me inside her tummy for nine months. Maybe if Dad didn’t die, she will stay the same woman I grew up with, the one who brushes my hair before I go to school, the one who reads me stories before she tucked me in my bed at night and the one who didn’t get tired of making me understand how to properly used fractioning in Mathematics. We were doing so well before she met Dan.

I felt the tears forming in my eyes so immediately I blinked them away. I can’t cry in front of her, I want to hug her but I stopped when I heard footsteps coming to the dining room.

“What are you still doing here cunt? Let’s go I need to meet a client before nine” Dan yelled at me.

I nod, then grabbed my tumbler from the table and walked out of the house. I waited for Dan in the car. He didn’t say anything as he gets in, he looks worried like something is bothering him.

“You know who I am meeting today?” he said.

I didn’t want to answer but I don’t want to provoke him so I nodded.

“Well, let’s just say he is the person that will give us tons of money and you will help me”

I didn’t say anything, after lunch later he will never ever hurt me again. All I want right now is to reach school.

“I'll pick you up by lunch” he said as we reach the school.

I was terrified. Nicole and I are leaving after lunch once every one is in their respective classes so that no one will see us. How can I go with them if Dan is picking me up by lunch?

“Why?” I asked trying to keep myself calm.

The last thing I want right now is for him not to become suspicious that I am planning something.

“Don’t ask, just wait for me at lunch” he said with finality.

I shook my head.

“I can't I have a quiz on Spanish” I refused.

My body shook when he grabbed me in my arm. I know he is upset.

“Do you think I  fucking care about your quiz?” he said in my face while he tightened his grip.

I didn’t say anything, I just looked down. When he didn’t get any response he finally released my arm.

“Be here by lunch”

I just nod before getting off the car, I didn’t wait for him to drive away, and I immediately made my way inside the school. I need to find Nicole, I need to talk to her. But I can't seem to find her, I went to the pantry, to the ladies room, to the locker area but she is nowhere to be found. The bell is about to ring for the first period and I am starting to lose hope, there are a lot of things running inside my mind. What if she was just fooling me? What if she's gone? What if she doesn’t really want me to come? I can’t even text her since I don’t have a cell phone, another thing that Dan forbid me to have.

I saw hope when one of her minions passed by the locker area.

“Gia” I called her, good thing I remembered her name.

She raised her brow when she saw me and I knew people at school think I am weird.

“What do you want Winters?” she smirked.

I decided to ignore her attitude.

“Do you know where Nicole is?” I asked.

She smiled sarcastically.

“Do you really think Nicole will befriend a weird person like you?”

“Just tell me where she is . . . please?”

I hate asking favor from people.

“She's at the boy’s locker room” she said and then walked away.

I made my way to the boy’s locker room right away, thank god no one was actually there because I don’t want people to ask me questions.

I went inside and it was strangely quiet and dark that it’s creeping me out. I am not afraid of the dark in fact I love watching horror movies but that was really creepy. Still, I walked inside, I need to find Nicole and I need to trust Gia that she wasn’t fooling me. When I passed the lockers I was able to breathe when I finally heard something . . . actually it’s someone . . . moaning . . . someone is moaning due to extreme pleasure . . . aside from the moaning . . . someone is also breathing so hard. I walked further until I reached Coach Bakers office and I almost screamed from what I saw; Nicole is lying on coach’s table, her skirt pulled up to her waist while our classmate Mark is on top of her, with his pants on his knees.

“Jillian?”

I turned around and was about to leave the place when Nicole called my name.

“What are you doing here?” she casually asked like as if I didn’t see her in a very awkward position.

I stood there my back facing them, it’s not that I am a saint, I am no longer a virgin myself but I still find it awkward to see a ‘friend’ in an act.

“I-I j-just want to talk to you but i-it’s fine, it can wait” I said then ran away.

I feel my face turning red while I made my way out of the boy’s locker room. That was the first time that I’ve been there and that is the kind of experience that I actually had.

I’ll just talk to her later, I just hope that she finish early so that she can still go to class since we only have two subjects together.

I successfully made my way out when I bumped into something hard and wet.

“Jill?”

I looked up to see who its was; of course Max is here, standing in front of me wearing nothing but his sports shorts and sweat flowing all over his perfectly toned body. Wow! He is just so hot!

I automatically made a couple of steps backward, I tend not to control myself whenever I get too close to him (remember the kiss?). I have been trying my best to avoid him, I successfully did it yesterday and I don’t want to break my momentum because he is standing in front of me looking like a model in a glossy magazine.

He glanced from where I came from.

“What are you doing here?” he asked with curiosity.

I suddenly didn’t know what to say, I can’t tell him that I went to see Nicole cause I don’t want him to ask questions since Nicole and I aren’t friends but I can’t tell him what I saw either.

“Wait! Did you go here to see me?” he asked.

Yeah! Right? Of course he will think that way. I’ve never been to the boy’s locker for god’s sake!

Then he started making steps towards my direction. What am I going to tell him? I can’t tell him what I saw but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. Yeah, I like him a lot but I can’t date him. I can’t be with him because of Dan and even if I can escape Dan I can’t still date him because I am leaving for Florida for good so I need to accept the realization that Max and I will never be together.

“No, I-I wasn’t looking for you” I said with my head down.

I saw his feet an inch away from mine.

“What happened? Why were you avoiding me? I thought we were okay?” he sadly said to me.

He held my chin to look him up but I can’t meet his gaze.

“P-please stay away from me” I said trying to keep my composure.

“No!”He yelled. “I know something is wrong, I can feel that you like me but something is stopping you. Tell me what it is?” he begged.

I shook my head, I can’t tell him my secret, he can maybe help me but I can’t afford him to know how disgusting I am.

“No . . . Y-you’re wrong . . . I don’t like you, I will never like a guy like you” I lied.

Then I pushed him away from me and ran as fast as I can. All I want right now is to stay as far away as possible from him. When I reach the other building where my classes are, I stopped. I can’t breathe, my chest is in so much pain not because I ran but because of something else. I feel like I am going to burst in tears any moment. I didn’t expect that Maxwell Norris will have this kind of effect on me. That I will actually get hurt for finally closing my doors for the possibility that we will be more than what we were.

The corridor is quiet, everyone is in their respective classes. I missed Math again I just wished my teachers won’t call Dan again.

But that’s not important anymore, the pain that I feel in my heart is much harder to bear than the physical pain that I’ll get from Dan.

Tears finally fell from my eyes and I can’t make them stop. I opened my locker, buried my face inside and cried my eyes out.

The next hour after I fixed myself, I decided to attend my second period, it’s French and I can’t miss it again besides it’s the only class left that I have with Nicole and I really need to talk to her. I am running out of time. Two more subjects after French and its lunch, for sure by that time Dan will be waiting on me in the parking area.

I made sure I will look as normal as possible before I step foot inside the classroom. I am afraid to see Max; we also have French together and Math of course. I don’t know what to tell him anymore, he might be angry at me and I don’t think I can meet his burning eyes on me.

I was able to finally breathe when I saw Nicole in her usual seat with her usual cliques.

Mr. Pettily is already in the classroom but he hasn’t started yet. Nicole gave me a questionable look as I passed their seats.

I slightly shrugged my shoulders to give her an answer. The seat beside me is empty, I assume Max will not be here today. Actually, I was glad that he isn’t here, after the incident at the boy’s locker room earlier I really don’t know what to tell him or it’s more like I don’t know how to act around him. Everything between us changed when I allowed myself to fall for him. I am so guilty that I hurt his feelings but I’d rather have him hate me for not admitting my feelings than to tell him the truth and be disgusted about me.

Mr. Pettily started discussing about sentence construction and I can’t help myself from fidgeting. I am so worried, I wanna talk to Nicole as soon as possible. I am running out of time and I can’t afford to lose this one and only chance that I have to finally be free from Dan.

I took my notebook out of my backpack and started scribbling: ‘Need to talk to you ASAP. Meet me in the ladies room now! It’s important’. I folded the paper and walked towards Mr. Pettily’s direction who was writing something on the chalk board.

“Can I go to the ladies room Mr. Pettily?” I asked my professor.

He looked at me from head to toe, maybe he is wondering why all of a sudden I talked to him. I don’t talk inside the classroom unless I was asked to.

I sighed to let him know that I am still waiting for his approval.

“Okay” he said as he continues to write on the board.

Before I walked out of the room I secretly threw the paper to Nicole, good thing our classmates were busy chit-chatting so no one actually noticed it.

As always the corridor was very quiet around that time, I walked inside the ladies room, I waited for it to be empty before going inside then I did the same exact thing that Nicole did whenever we’re having a private conversation inside the ladies room.

I glance at my reflection in the mirror and I was surprised from what I saw. The girl standing in front of me is a complete stranger; her hair is messy, she completely lost her shiny blonde locks, her flawless fair skin turned into a lifeless pale complexion and she has the saddest blue eyes I have ever seen. For the past five years I stopped taking care of myself. Since Dan forced himself at me I never bothered checking myself on the mirror. I don’t care if I look like a mess which I am by the way. I just go on with my life without really caring about myself.

“What’s wrong?”

I immediately turned around when I heard Nicole’s voice. I took a deep breath.

“Dan is hooking me up with an old rich man and he is picking me up today at lunch” I said directly.

She nods.

“Okay” she said.

I was a bit disappointed about her reaction but I can’t be super sensitive right now. I badly need her help.

“Please help me . . .” I said almost begging “This is the only chance I have to be able to be free . . .” I was about to cry.

She took a deep breath.

“Let me see what I can do” she mumbled as she takes her phone out of her pocket.

I stood there watching her navigate her cell phone.

“Hey it’s me” she talks to someone on the phone.

I don’t know who is she speaking to, maybe the friend that she said who will pick us up later. I remained quiet as I watched her move.

“Yeah, something came up” she continues talking. “You have to pick us up in an hour or before lunch time . . . I know . . . Come on I am not gonna ask if it’s not important . . .” she rolled her eyes “You are already in the neighborhood so what's the problem?” she was raising her voice this time.

I stood still and watched her as she talked to the person on the other line, my heart is beating so fast cause with the look on her face she isn't getting the answer that she wants from the person on the other line.

I am afraid that she might not be able to convince him or her to pick us up earlier than what they agreed on.

“So?” I asked.

I waited for her to talk to me but she put gloss on her lips instead of telling me what happened. She sighed and then turned to me.

“Relax Winters, everything is good . . . He’ll be here in an hour so please chill okay?” she said licking her lips. “You’re safe now”

I ran towards her and hugged her so tight. I am so happy that I am finally getting out of St. Louis. I am going to be free.

“Thanks a lot” I whispered trying so hard not to cry.

She slightly pushed me away from her.

“Geez Winters, stop the drama . . . we’re about to be free so please a ‘thank you’ is enough no more hugs okay?” she rolled her eyes.

I nod then wiped my tears.

“Alright, fix yourself . . . I’ll meet you in the parking area in an hour okay? I’ll go now . . .”

She walked out of the ladies room and I was left there looking at myself in the mirror. This is it! It’s really happening. I am going to be free. I don’t know what is waiting for us in Florida but knowing that I am with Nicole made me feel a little braver. I hope someday I’ll be able to be like her; she is so brave that she isn’t afraid of getting what she wants. 

I didn’t come back to class after my conversation with Nicole, instead I emptied my locker and put as many things as I can inside my back pack. I also counted the money I have saved for the past years and based on the calculation it’s enough to support me for a month or so until I can find a job or anything that can help me survive.

I stayed at the cafeteria, I ate some salad cause I didn’t eat breakfast and it’s going to be a long drive. All I want is to get away from this place so I don’t want any stop over just to find some food.

I patiently waited for the time to come, I saw Nicole passed by with her usual cliques. I kind of envy her because she is trying to spend as much time as possible with her friends. I know it’s hard to say goodbye with friends but it’s kind of nice to know that you will somehow be missed.

Fifteen more minutes before the time I decided to just wait for Nicole outside the building. I carried my backpack, silently walk through the corridor and sat at the empty Carterch at the parking area. There are a lot of things in my mind, the life that I am going to have in Florida, is it going to be good or it will be the same with the one I have right now or is it going to be worse. I immediately dropped the worse thought in my head. Nothing can be worse than the life that I have with Dan, because my life right now is hell.

After a while a black car stopped in front of me.

“You Jillian?” he asked after he opened the window.

I nod,  I think he is Nicole’s friend. He got off his car. I think he is in his mid-twenties. He is tall, maybe about 6 foot and an inch or two, he looks rich too, wearing a fit blue t-shirt, faded jeans and red Chuck Taylor sneakers. Her body is perfectly toned, his sharp pointed nose is so sexy and his thick lips are so full and red. His looks like a rock star, with his styled cappuccino hair and his round blue eyes that I think I am going to melt any second.

“Hey” he snapped.

I went back to reality, my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. What is wrong with me? This isn’t the first time that I stood in front of guy, sometimes I even see them naked (if you know what I mean) but this guy is just so hot, as in super hot!

“Ha?”

He smiled.

“I said my name is Keith” he offered his hand.

I shook it immediately, I can feel that I am still blushing.

“Where’s Nicole? “He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I think she’s still inside, but she’ll be out anytime now” I said looking at my wrist watch.

It’s almost time and I can feel very excited and nervous at same time.

“Hey”

I smiled when I heard Nicole’s voice as she walked her way towards our direction. She is carrying a luggage and her pink shoulder bag. I didn’t know how was she able to keep this luggage without attracting attention.

Keith walked to meet her, she puts her luggage down and they totally made out in front of me. I bowed my head down, I found it awkward because earlier she was just having sex with Mark and now she and this guy is an item? I will never get her trip when it comes to boys. I just hope that they will stop making out in front of me.

They walked towards my direction hand in hand.

“Hey, ready?” she asked me seriously.

I nod, she held my hands as Keith started to load the trunk of his car.

“We will be fine okay?” she assured me

“Yeah, I know . . . Thanks a lot” I said as I slightly squeezed her hand.

She hugged me for the very first time since we started this quest.

“This is the start of your new life . . . and of course mine too” she smiled as she rolled her eyes.

I grinned, from this day forward it will just be me and her . . . no one else.

“Alright, if you girls are done with your dramatic scene, I suggest we leave this place ASAP” Keith then said.

I took a deep breath, this is it. . . I looked around for the first time in 18 years I am leaving this place. The place that I once called home, the place where my mom and dad first met, the place where they grew up, met each other, got married and started a family. This place witness how happy I was and how dark I have been.

“Jillian!”

I was about to get inside the car when someone called my name, I was terrified when I saw who it was. 

“Dan?” I said in horror.

Nicole got off the car immediately. Dan got off his car too and was walking in our direction.

“I thought you said he won’t be here until lunch time?” she asked.

I can feel that Nicole is afraid as well, who doesn’t? Dan is a manipulative psychopath.

“I don’t know” I mumbled with my heart beating so fast.

“Who’s that?” Keith asked from the car window.

“His evil step father” Nicole answered.

Keith turns the engine on.

“If he is evil and you are trying to escape from him, I don’t think you should be standing there” he said.

I looked at Nicole and she nodded.

“Let’s go!” she shouted.

We immediately got inside the car, Dan saw it and he ran back to his car and tailed at our back. My heart was pounding, Keith is driving as fast as he can and Dan managed to keep close to us.

“What does he wants from you?” Keith asked still driving recklessly.

Nicole looked at me from the rear view mirror. I am shaking and trembling. I didn’t expect any of this. I was about to answer Keith when something bumped at the back of the car.

Nicole screamed in horror.

“Fuck!” Keith yelled. “He isn’t giving up”

Then Keith pulled out something from the compartment of his car. I froze from where I was sitting when I saw what it was . . . a gun.

“Keith, what are you thinking?” Nicole asked shaking.

Keith looked at her and I looked at Dan who was still following us. I am afraid what Keith might do, I don’t know him and I have no idea what he is capable of doing. I am mad at Dan, like every nerve in my body hates him but I don’t want my escape to be as messy as this. All I ever wanted was to be able to be free but not like this.

“I am not going to wait until he completely ripped my car, so if he isn’t giving up well I have no choice but to give him what he deserves,” Keith said.

We were shaken for the second time when Dan bumped the back of the car again. Keith opened the window and shot Dan’s car, Nicole and I screamed in horror.

Keith’s gesture attracted people’s attention, especially those people on the side walk. I was more surprised when we heard another gunshot but it didn’t come from Keith. I didn’t know that Dan owns a gun, I never saw one from the longest time that he lived in our house. Now I am more afraid for us, I know what Dan is capable of doing. He is a monster, a demon and he won’t really hesitate to shoot anyone.

“I’m sorry Jillian but this son of a bitch is really getting in my nerves” Keith said.

I didn’t say anything; I was still in state of shock and so as Nicole.

“Can you drive?” he asked Nicole and she just nod.

Nicole took over the wheel, then Keith slide at the back with me, he asked me to seat in front so that he can have the back of the car by himself. He opened the window and started to release a couple of gun shots. I closed my eyes to prevent myself from seeing what’s happening.

Then I heard car wheels screeching on the road and a huge waved of water splashed from the river under the bridge

“Easy baby” I heard Keith’s voice when the gunshots stopped.

I opened my eyes to see what’s happening.

“It’s over” Nicole whispered at me.

I looked outside, a crowd was on the side of the bridge staring at the river. It seems like something dropped in the water. I looked at Nicole then to Keith who rested his back on the seat.

“He’ll drown for sure” he said.

Apparently, Keith shot Dan’s wheel so he lost control and he accidentally went over the bridge.

I felt like a huge torn was removed from chest, and suddenly all the things that he did to me went crashing in my mind. My tears fall from my eyes, I made it and I survived it. This is indeed a new beginning for me.

It’s almost 10 pm when we decided to stop at a small motel, Keith is tired so as Nicole for driving for almost 8 hours. I can’t be their reliever since I don’t know how to drive. We took two rooms, 1 for Keith and the other one was for me and Nicole.

I took my jacket off and lied down on the bed, I feel so exhausted from earlier events.

“You okay?” Nicole asked as she enters the room.

I sat on the bed and rested my head on the head board.

“Yeah, I feel relieved actually” I answered.

She walked to me and sat on the bed.

“Thanks a lot, I owe you everything” I whispered “If it wasn’t for you I won’t be here right now” I don’t want to cry anymore but I felt like I needed to cry again maybe for the last time.

She smiled at me and reached my hand.

“No, I owe it to you. . .” she said and I cocked my brow. “You were the reason why I decided to leave, I felt terrible for not coming forward to the authority. What you’ve been through became my inspiration. I don’t want to be like that, and I knew I will turn to one if I won’t leave. My foster parent hates me; they beat me every time they get the chance to do it, one night I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my dad inside my room drunk, I was really scared that he might do something to me” she stopped and rolled her eyes. “I know I am not a saint, and I admit that I sleep around but I never want to have sex with my dad that’s just gross” I laughed “So I grab the first chance I had to leave.”

Having to hear what she just told me made me idolized her more, her braveness inspires me a lot. She is a real brave heart. Being with her made me feel that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t the only whose life is darker than the community blackout.

“You’re a good person Nic” I said and she smiled “And a certified kick ass”

She rolled her eyes.

“I know” she said and hugged me once again. “Alright enough of this chick flicks” she stood up and took some clothes from her luggage and walked towards the door.

I got curious cause the bathroom is in the opposite way.

“You are taking a shower?” I asked and she nods. “The bathroom is there” I pointed the door on the left.

“I know, I am taking a shower in the other room . . . with Keith” she grins.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“What?” she asked. “He’s tired and I should give him a reward for being a hero earlier” she said as she ran outside the room.

The room was filled with silence when Nicole is finally gone, now I realized that the original plan was to give me my own room and they’ll share the other one.

I took some clothes from my backpack, I will take a quick shower to relax my muscles and for me to have a good sleep. The water was so cold but it felt nice on my skin, this is the first time in 6 years that I was able to peacefully take a nice bath. I have always been afraid that Dan might just go inside since he removed the lock of the bathroom door.

After taking a quick bath, I dressed up in my pajama and then went straight to the bed. My mom suddenly came in my mind. If Dan drowned, how is she going to live? Mom didn’t work a single day in her life. After high school, she studied college then before she was able to finish her course dad got her pregnant, and she got me. Dad worked in the military to support us and mom stayed at home to take care of me. So aside from being a hooker she didn’t really have a job that requires brain and skills.

I am kind of feeling guilty for leaving her like that; we were once close though I stopped communicating with her when she believed Dan that I should be rehabilitated. Mom used to be a wise woman, that’s why Dad loved her so much and we were a happy family but things changed, she changed when she met Dan. Her senses stopped working; she chose to be blinded and be deaf by the reality of who Dan really is. She let him violate her, she let him take over her life, and she let him control everything.

I knew we were supposed to stick together, since she is the only family I have but I am also aware that there is no way in hell that she will leave him alone. I had to do what I thought was the best even if it breaks my heart to leave her.

It was almost 8 am when Nicole knocks on my door telling me to get dress because we’re heading to the road in half hour.

I woke up 5 in the morning; I had a dream, a bad dream actually. It was Dan, his face was as clear as the sky. He was alive, he didn’t drown and worst he found me. And he dragged me home; he even shot Nicole and Keith. Then when I got home, he shot mom in front of me. I screamed then everything went black, that’s when I found out I that I was just dreaming.

I met Nicole outside in the parking lot carrying my backpack; she was inside the car putting make up on her face. She looks blooming like she had a good sleep or maybe not. She was wearing pink sleeveless top inside her black leather jacket, tight skinny jeans paired with her black fur boots. She also braided her hair for a pretty cowboy look. Sometimes I envy her for exerting so much effort in making sure that she looks good. Never in my entire life that I took the time to fix my hair, choose what clothes to wear or putting some colors on my face. I just go out the house, wearing my usual sweatshirt, jeans and converse.

“Where’s Keith?” I asked as I get inside the car.

She glanced at me through the rear view mirror.

“He went to the nearest café to get some breakfast” she answered as she continues to put mascara on her lashes.

I nod.

“He doesn’t want anymore stop over so we’ll just eat on the road” she added.

I rested my head on the car seat and looks at her as she started to put some tint on her cheeks.

“You want some?” she asked when she notices me staring at her.

I shook my head.

“Geez Jillian, we are heading to Florida, we’re heading to our new life, and you should start forgetting the past” she ranted.

I shrugged my shoulders; I didn’t want her to know that I had just a dream about Dan last night.

“I’m serious, you should start being a girl” she told me.

I cocked my brow.

“What? A girl? Tell me am I not a girl right now?” I cracked.

She laughed and turned to face me.

“Nope! The only thing that’s makes you a girl is your vagina but aside from that nada!”

My eyes widened.

“You’re sick Sanchez” I said calling her by her last name.

She rolled her eyes and scooted over next to me.

“Come on; let’s turn you to a girl” she said.

I was about refused when she started to put some cream on my face. Then she put some pressed powder, and then some colors on my eyes, then mascara on my lashes. I wanted to say no but it seems like she enjoys what she is doing that’s why I just let her continue, it’s not going to harm me anyway.

After coloring my face, she took some rubber band from his bag then tied my hair up in a perfect ponytail.

“Look at you . . . you’re a babe now” she smiled proudly and handed me a square mirror.

I was hesitant to look at reflection, what if she was just fooling me or she turned me to a clown? Yeah, it’s given that she has been nothing but nice to me but she is good in kidding around.

“Wow who’s this chick?” I heard Keith’s voice getting inside the driver’s seat.

Nicole moved to her seat beside Keith and smirked at him.

“Well, that’s the new Jillian Winters” said Nicole

Keith glanced at me and smiled.

“Nice, you do have a really good choice” Keith comments

I didn’t get what he meant because I was mesmerized with the girl in front of me, she is so beautiful, her skin is so radiant, and her almond shape blue eyes were hypnotizing; the color blue eye color and mascara really did help to sexily pop her eyes. Her sharp pointed nose is just perfectly paired with her red pouting lips. I didn’t expect that I am that girl; I looked so different compared to the last time that I saw my own reflection. I look . . . hot and most importantly lively.

 

 

Twilight when we finally reach our destination, the town was so alive and I can’t help myself from smiling as we passed by the colorful street lights.

“Welcome to Miami Beach Florida!!!” Keith shouted.

Then Nicole kissed his lips as he continues to drive. My heart beats so fast when Keith pulled over in front of huge house.

“We’re here” he said as he turned the engine off.

Nicole looked at me and smiled, we excitedly got off the car and followed Keith as he made his way inside the huge house.

The place is so beautiful inside; the living room was very classy with the huge red couch that looks so comfortable to sit in. There is also a round glass table in the center and a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall.

“Make yourselves comfortable” he said as he enters the kitchen I think.

Nicole and I sat on the couch and I was right, it seems like all my stresses were taken away by the soft fabric.

“Is this his house?” I whispered to her.

She shrugged her shoulders, I forgot to ask her where did her meet Keith cause it seems like she barely know him. Keith came back inside the living room with three cans of Sprite on his hand. He threw each one of them to us.

He sat beside Nicole and wraps his arm on her shoulder.

“Nice house, are we staying here?” asked Nicole.

“Yeah nice house” he nods “And no you’re not staying here”

Nicole nods in embarrassment while I sat there and quietly sipping my drink.

“I’ll show you your place tomorrow so you will be staying here tonight” he said.

Nicole nods again. I am wondering why Keith is so nice to us. Obviously he and Nicole are just casual hook ups. But why did he pick us up, paid for our food and motel, letting us stay at his place for the night and tomorrow he is even giving us a new place. Why would he want to take care of two jobless high school seniors?

I don’t know why but I started to feel completely strange about this whole set up. Honestly this isn’t what I expected when we got here and there’s only one person that can give answers to my questions; Nicole.

After dinner Keith brought us to the guest room where we are staying for the night. He said he is too tired to play with Nicole so we are sleeping together tonight which I actually liked because I’ll be able to talk to her about who Keith really is.

I was sitting on the bed, my back rested on the head board waiting for Nicole to come out of the shower. The room is so nice, the ambiance is soothing, Keith really have a good taste when it comes to furniture; the room is big, the walls are painted with white and blue striped, the floor is fully carpeted, there is a big blue couch on the side of the room and the queen size bed that’s very soft and cozy. There’s also another flat screen TV that’s a smaller than the one in the living room hanging on the wall opposite the bed.

“You were right the water is so cold” Nicole said as she tip toed from the bathroom.

I took shower first and I told her that it was so cold but it relaxes the nerves. She put her pajama and dried her hair using the towel.

“Why is Keith giving us a place?” I asked.

She stopped drying her hair, not expecting that I will ask such question. Now, I can feel that she is hiding something from me.

“B-because I told him our situation” she answered trying to avoid my gaze.

I don’t believe her, don’t get me wrong I do appreciate everything she had done for me cause if it wasn’t for her maybe I am still in St. Louis now but I need to know what’s really going on.

“Why on earth would he want to help two troubled teenagers who escaped from home? No offense” I said “But I need to know the truth”

She sighed, put the towel on the couch and sat beside me.

“Alright! You caught me” she started as going under the covers

I stayed quiet and I waited for her to settle on the bed. She sat on the bed with the same position I have. My eyes remained on her.

“I wasn’t planning to say anything until tomorrow but since you already knew I am hiding something let me tell you the whole story.”

I still didn’t say anything; I want to hear what she is going to say.

“I met Keith at a bar in St. Louis, he was cute and rich and old, well old enough for our kind” she said, I listened “And he told me that he owns a bar in Miami Beach and he is looking to get some talents”

I was confused.

“Talents? Is this a strip club or something?” I asked.

I am trying so hard to understand what is really going on, cause if Keith owns a strip club there is no way in hell that I am working with him. I came here all the way from Missouri to be free and start a new life.

“No!” she shook her head. “He’s a bar owner and he wants waitress from different states with different cultures” she explained.

“We are in America, we have the same culture” I said.

“Yeah, but the state culture thingy you know, and so as I was saying, he offered me a job ad asked me to bring friends who are interested”

I looked at her.

“And you thought of me?”

She nods.

“Why me?” I asked. “You said we weren’t friends”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know, maybe because you are the only person I know who is so desperate to leave town. . .” she answered and I smiled.

I reached for her hand.

“Thank you” I whispered.

“Welcome” then she embraced me. “Okay let’s stop this drama and have some sleep, I can’t wait to check the beaches here” she squealed.

I nodded and lied myself down the bed. I also turned the lamp off that was on my side.

“Goodnight” I whispered.

“Sure” 

Then I close my eyes and completely found my slumber.

 

 

Chapter Three

“Stay away from me!” I screamed.

I was running so fast that I don’t even know where I am going, all I know is I need to go away as far as I can or else he’ll reach me. I don’t know how he found me, I thought after going away I can finally be free from him.

I turned around to see if he is still following me and I was able to breathe when I didn’t see him. I didn’t stop running but I bumped into something hard.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He was there in front of me holding my arms with a tight grip. My eyes widened in horror, my whole body is frozen and I was shaking terribly. How on earth did he get there? He was just behind me, this isn’t happening.

“Help!!!” I screamed.

He laughed like a devil.

“Do you think someone will hear you?”

I looked around and all I saw was nothing but water and sand. No one was even there.

“No one will help you” he whispered to my ear.

Then he pulled my hair and started dragging me to the water, I cried in pain, I feel like my hair is being ripped from my head. I tremble when I felt the cold water on my feet, then on my knees and on my waist.

I lost my breath when he started to drown my head on the water. I reached for his hand as I to gasp for air, I feel like anytime now I am going to die.

“Jillian!!!!”

I opened my eyes as I chase my breath.

“You were dreaming” said Nicole.

I embraced her as I realized it was all a dream, thank god I was only having a nightmare.

“He was here” I cried.

I was so afraid, I thought I was going to die, I thought he really did find me. I don’t wanna go back there again.

“Shhh. . . He’s not here, he is gone and he will never ever find you I promise” she said.

I stayed in her arms for a bit longer than I expected, it was nice to know that I have Nicole with me. She makes me feel protected and it lessens the fear that I feel every time I remember Dan.

After breakfast we dressed up cause Keith is bringing us to our place. 10 minutes has passed when he stopped at a huge house, when I said huge it’s really big, even bigger than his place so I really doubt if we are staying there.

I looked at Nicole trying to figure out what’s going on but it seems like she was clueless like me.

We both shrugged our shoulders as we followed Keith inside the house; we were surprised from what we saw cause it didn’t look like a house inside, it wasn’t a house at all. After the main door, you have to pass by a much smaller door than the main before we were able to get inside the place.

As you passed by second door, it wasn’t a living room that you will find; in fact there is no living area anywhere the place. All you see are chairs and tables, bar stools, a huge stage in the center with a pole on it, disco lights, and a huge set of sound system. It wasn’t a house but it was a bar, a very cozy and expensive bar.

“Welcome to my kingdom” Keith said to us.

We smiled at him, still confused of what’s happening.

“Keith”

I almost jumped from where I was standing when a tall pale skinned guy walked towards us, he came from the back of the stage, I think.

Keith shook his hand.

“Nate, man how are you?”

“I’m fine man” said the guy. “Where have you been?”

The guy looks the same age as Keith, he was taller than Keith and his body is much toner too. He looks much decent too, wearing a coat paired with faded jeans and his wearing a buttoned shirt inside his coat. His big blue eyes are perfect fit with his sharp pointed nose and thick lips are so kissable, in short he is totally hot.

“Yummy” Nicole whispered in my ear.

I shook my head

“You already hooking up with Keith” I whispered back as the two guys continue to chat.

“So who are these chicks?” Nate asked cocking his brow.

Keith smiled proudly.

“Well, they are my Missouri babes” Keith introduced us. “Nicole and Jillian, girls this is my partner Nate”

Nate offered his hand and Nicole gladly shook it, I felt that he slightly squeezed my palm when it was my turn to shake it.

“Nice to meet you girls” he grinned.

“Likewise” Nicole replied while I just nod at him.

I don’t know if it was just me or what but I felt like his eyes are following my every move although I just stood there waiting for Keith and Nicole.

“Hey by the way I have to discuss something with you” Nate told Keith

Keith nod.

“Okay, let’s talk in the office” he said. “Annie” Keith called.

A girl with a shocking red hair color came from the back stage, I think. She was wearing a micro mini skirt that’s almost showing her bare skin paired with a red strapless top that covers only half of her breasts and a pair of red stilettos. She has black tint on her eyes that looks like Jenny Humphrey, her nose is cute and her lips are so red. I must say she loves red so much that even her long nails have that color.

“Yes?” she asked as she noisily chewing a gum.

“Yeah, these are Nicole and Jillian; they’re new, so show them their place and tell them the rules okay?” Keith said. “This is Annie she is in charge with the employee” he said.

Then Keith and Nate walked towards the back of the stage, I figured that’s where they’re office is.

“So, where are you from?” Annie asked.

She took her phone out of her pocket and started pushing something on the screen.

“Well, where from Missouri, I am Nicole and she is Jillian” replied Nicole.

She just nods but didn’t even bother to look at us. I found that kind of rude.

“Okay, follow me” she said then started walking.

Nicole rolled her eyes as we tailed behind her.

“What a bitch” Nicole whispered and I just shrugged my shoulders.

Annie showed us around the place, the bar was huge, aside from the one that we saw earlier; there are also VIP rooms at the back. It was cozy but I started feeling a little strange about it. At the back of the VIP rooms were the Keith and Nate office and the storage room. As we reach the exit, there was a tall and wide wall that has a small door at the end side. At the back of the wall I was completely shaken by what I saw; small houses that looks the same. Wow! I never thought I’ll see something like this. That was a small community.

We followed Annie as she walked her way on one of the houses. I can’t help but notice the name of the state on each house. I wasn’t surprised when she opened one of the houses that have Missouri written on the door. The place was nice, it has blue paint all over the place, it was nice and beautiful, there was a small living room on the right side with L- shape black couch and a complete television set, and a dining room on the left, there was a square table with 4 dining chairs on each corners, the kitchen has a small fridge, stove, and a sink and cabinets. There was also a bar table and bar stools that separates the kitchen to the dining table.

There were also a couple of paintings from Missouri that hangs on the wall; the place was actually nice and neat. It is even nicer than our house in Missouri. I glanced at Nicole but like before she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Alright, so this is your place.” Annie said. “There are two rooms, it’s up for you two to decide which room would like to take” she added as she pointed the doors on the hallway. “That is your kitchen, for starters like you we will provide your supplies for the week, but we will deduct it on your salary. Also, the rent for the house will also be deducted on your pay. Don’t worry everything is documented, tonight we will show you your contracts with the terms and conditions included.” she explained. “So welcome to the United State of America, the biggest and hippest club in Florida” she said bluntly.

I thought I was the least cheery person in the world but it seems like the throne was taken from me by Annie.

“By the way, I’ll dropped by at five for your costumes, so I will suggest to be prepared before that, boss loves those who are punctual, and please you have your girly things in your rooms so make use of them and FYI those will not be deducted on your pay okay?” she instructed.

I really didn’t know if I was just dumb or what, but I am really getting super confused about this whole thing.

“Costumes?” I asked

Annie nod.

“Yeah, every night we have a theme, so you will wear costumes.” She answered.

“Maybe you mean uniforms” I corrected her.

She smirked.

“Whatever you wanna call it, see you later at five. The club opens at 7 but we gather our employees at 6 for a nightly briefing” then she walked her way out of the place.

I was left there confused and clueless on what is really waiting for us tonight.

I got more confused when I saw my room, after Annie left us and after we took a short tour of the place Nicole and I decided to check our rooms and have some rest since we’ll start working tonight.

The room was nice; the walls are painted pastels with butterfly wall paper on some parts of it. There was a single bed in the middle of the room, the bed sheet were just plain white just like I would like it. There was a night stand on the left, and a small side table on the right that has one drawer which is perfect for some of my things. There was also an empty study table and chair on the left side of the room while a closet on the right side and beside it was a huge mirror. I am still wondering why Keith would invest something like this to his employees. I know he looks rich but why would he spend so much for his waitresses, he maybe super nice but honestly with the looks of Keith I don’t think he is the type who will do nice things without expecting something in return. I don’t mean to pry but based on my experiences I am not really the type of person that sees the best in people.

I sighed as I started to unpack my things. I opened the closet and I was stunned with what came after my eyes. The closet has some item in it that in my opinion are very inappropriate for a waitress. Those were lingerie, in different styles and colors. Now I am no longer wondering and confused, I am now nervous and terrified.

I know something is up and it’s either Nicole is also not aware about it or she isn’t telling me the truth. And my instinct is telling me that my second thought is right. I pulled one of the lingerie’s out of the closet and ran to Nicole’s room. She was lying on the bed, with cucumber on her eyes.

“Nicole tell me the truth, are we really here to be waitresses?” I asked with the obvious anger on my tone

She almost fell from the bed cause I didn’t even knock.

“Geez, don’t you know how to knock?” she growled.

I ignored her angry gaze; I am so pissed being clueless about this whole thing.

“Just answer me”

She sat on the bed and set aside the cucumber on the plate on her night stand.

“I already answered your questions last night. What else would you want to know?” she was pissed.

“The truth” I threw the lingerie on her bed.

She reached the piece of clothing.

“Wow this is sexy, where did you find this?”

“I found that in my closet, that was just one, there is still a couple of that there. You should check your closet too” I said then she gets off the bed and walked to her closet and I was right. Although we didn’t exactly have the same reaction, she was actually excited to try them on.

“Now answer, are we really waitresses here? Or are we here to strip?”

She put the lingerie down and looked at me trying to figure out what to say.

“No offense Nic, but all I want right now is the truth and I’d really appreciate it if you will tell me what is really going on”

She sighed and sat back on the bed.

“Alright, but before anything else I want you to know that I did it because I want you to know that I did want you to be free from that evil” she said referring to Dan.

I listened though I’m still pissed.

“What I told you last night was true. . .” she took a deep breath and rolled her eyes “well partly true. . . When I met Keith in a bar, she offered me a job, she runs this club, not just an ordinary club, it’s a high profile club and he calls it USA club where he collects girls from different states in the country. He was recruiting local girls to work with him the night that I met him. He asked me if I knew someone who would like to work with him, someone who is experience with that kind of work. So I thought about you cause I knew like me you want to be free from our town.”

I shook my head. I do not believe this is happening.

“And you didn’t tell me because?” I asked.

She looked at me I can feel she is nervous.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would react this way and it’s going to ruin our plan.” She answered.

“Of course I was going to react this way” I was yelling, I am really angry “I left town because I want to have a new life, a better life and I trusted you cause I thought you want the same but you signed me up for this?”

She stood up and tried to reach my hands but I pushed her.

“Why don’t you just look at the bright side? We’re here in Miami, we have a place to live, a food to eat and we have work. We are having a new life so will you please stop acting like a baby?” she snorted.

“Acting like a baby? Well you don’t really get it do you? I left town because I wanted change, not like this. If it is easy for you to sell yourself to earn money well not me, sorry but I wasn’t born a slut like you.”

Then I stepped out of her room, I don’t know but as soon as I closed my door room tears fell from my eyes. I know what I said was harsh but I am so angry at her for lying to me. I trusted her, even if it was hard for me to trust people. I believed in her, I even imagined some good things that we will do together, but in the end she just tricked me.

I put my things back on my bag and headed out of the house. I didn’t even bother to tell her I was leaving. I don’t know where I am going but what is important right now is that I can get out of this place as soon as possible.

 

 

 

I stopped walking when I finally reach the beach, I am not afraid that Keith might look for me. He doesn’t own me; I didn’t sign any contract so I can leave whenever I want. I still hate the way things ended between me and Nicole. For a couple of days that we’ve been together I considered her as the only family I have but I just can’t believe that she will sell us. I knew it’s going to be hard for us; living in a new state where no one knows us, no one will help us but I had plans in my head, I had savings, I planned of us working together to be able to survive life. But I didn’t know that all along she had her own plan.

I sat on the sand, watching the sun to set, the red shadow of the sun on the water is soothing, and I hugged my knees as the cold wind blew to my direction. There were a couple of teenagers like me who are chasing each other on the water. Some are sitting on the sand like me, some are making out and some are starting building a bon fire. A sudden envy feeling grew inside my chest. I envy how normal life is to them. I was never a normal girl; I didn’t grow up in a normal environment, I lost my dad as early as I can even remember, my mom was blinded with her love for a man whose soul is evil. Sometimes I wished, I could be like these people that I can be a normal girl, a girl that can hang out with her friends, a girl who can date whoever she wants. But I know I am that girl and I will never be that girl.

Tears once again fell from eyes; I have never been so alone in my entire life. For the first time in a long time I felt lonely. I have always been alone, no friend, no family. But now that I finally don’t see mom or feel dad I feel like I am the only person left in this world.

“Dad. . .” I cried.

I don’t know where I am going after this, I don’t have a place to live, I can’t even check in a motel because my money is not going to be enough for the whole month.

This isn’t how I pictured myself; I was going to be a doctor, my entire life I have been dreaming of being on the medical field. I will be the resident doctor of St. Louis Medical Hospital, I will marry the director or maybe another doctor and we’ll have our own family. I never wanted to leave town, I didn’t even thought about it not until I was 13. Not until Dan took everything I hoped for, everything I wished for and everything I dreamed of. Now I am sitting here broke, jobless, homeless and clueless on how I will face the tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

“She’s alive”

.

 “No, she’s not!”

.

 “OMG she’s moving”

.

“Should we call the police?”

I was awakened with the small voices talking in high pitches on my brain. When I opened my eyes, a bunch of kids came after my sight.

“I told you she was alive”

Apparently, I fell asleep on the sand while thinking about what will happen to me and while crying about how misfortune I was. And apparently, these kids thought I was dead.

I sat on the sand and hugged my backpack; I didn’t realize that I was that pale for these kids to think that I was dead.

“Yes, I am alive” I told them

They smiled at me as they walked towards the beach. The sun is shining really bright that it’s going to be so nice to soak up in the water. I think its noon and as much as I want to swim all day I have a lot of things to do.

I stood up, took my jacket off and put my backpack on. I started walking my out of the beach. Since I don’t have anything right now, I should start looking for a job, although I don’t know how since I am an undergraduate high school senior without any experience or credentials.

My stomach rumbled when I sight a small diner outside the beach, then I remembered that the last time I ate was at Keith’s place.

I still have money to eat something so I went inside the diner to get some pancakes. If I will look for a job I should at least eat right?

I sat on the table near the window and a kind of away from the crowd. I am a complete stranger in this place so I don’t want to catch any kind of attention. Most of the people that were there were teenagers ready to take a swim. I looked around and I can see how life is simple here in this town.

“Can I get you something” the waitress that looks like my age came to me.

She was wearing a blue collared shirt, tattered short shorts, flip flops and a blue apron. Her blonde hair is tied up with a nice ponytail and her blue eye shadow is kind of disturbing.

“I’ll have some pancakes with bacon and coffee please” I said.

She smiled and wrote something on the notebook that she has.

“I’ll be right back”

I watched her walked back on the counter and passed the piece of paper she ripped from the note book to the guy peaking on the small hole or window. I believe that was the kitchen.

I patiently waited for my order to come; I am worried on how my day will turn out. Last night I didn’t know where to go, I sat on the sand for hours until I finally fell asleep on the beach. I don’t know if I can survive that kind of life.

After a couple of minutes my food was delivered by the same girl who took my order.

“Pancakes with bacon and coffee” she said as she put the plate down on the table. “Would there be anything else that I can get you?” she asked.

“I’m good thanks!” I answered.

She was about to leave my table.

“Wait!” I called.

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath.

“Is there any opening here? Maybe you need another waitress?” I asked.

She looked at the counter and smiled.

“Well an extra hand will be very helpful since summer is just around the corner but I am not the one to decide. . .” she said. “Do you see that big guy over there?” she pointed on the white haired fat guy sitting on the cashier. “That’s the owner so he is the best person to ask, but just to give an idea, he’s not very easy to deal with” she warned me.

I nod.

“Thanks! I’ll talk to him later”

“Welcome, by the way I’m Kate”

“Jillian”

“Nice to meet you Jillian”

“Same here”

She smiled and went to the other table to take orders.

My stomach was so happy when I was done eating my breakfast, now I can have my full focus on looking for a job. The owner of the diner is still sitting on the cashier as I made my way towards his direction. He is wearing a blue shirt like the one that Kate was wearing and all the other waitresses that were there and khaki pants. I was hesitant to approach him because he looks like he doesn’t smile at all. His hair is gray and some parts of his head don’t even have hair at all. His face is freckled and his gray eyes creeps the hell out of me. I took a deep breath as I stood in front of him but I shouldn’t let my fear take away the chance that I might get a job.

“Hi Sir” I greeted him trying to cheerful as possible “My name is Jillian and I was told by one of your waitress Kate that you are the owner of this place.” I introduced myself.

He looked at Kate’s direction.

“Did she mess up again?” he asked angrily not leaving his gaze to Kate.

I shook my head, I don’t want to get her in trouble since this man looks like he sees the worst in people but I am already here.

“No actually, I was here to see if you are interested in hiring me”

He looked at me from head to toe. I felt uncomfortable that he is studying me or something.

“Okay, you’re hired!” he said.

I cocked my brow, is he for real?

“Really?” I cannot really believe this.

He nods.

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything, where I came from, my background anything?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“Well you are pretty, and skinny so you’ll fit here, you’ll start today” he said “By the way, my employees here are stay in, Kate here’s your new roommate” then he turned to the cashier and counted the money there.

Kate brought me to the kitchen where there is a stairs to reach the second floor of the place. There I saw a living room, a dining area and a kitchen.

“That’s his room” Kate pointed a door on the hallway from the living area.

The she guided me to the stairs up to the third floor where the rooms are.

“Is he always like that?” I asked Kate.

She opened door at the end of the place, the room was just right for two people, it wasn’t huge and it wasn’t that small; there were two single beds on each side of the room and a wooden table in the middle of the beds. Each side has nightstands two doors closets

“What do you mean?” she asked back.

“He just hired me without even asking if I have experience” I told her.

She laughed.

“You obviously not from here” she said and I nodded. “Well, you will learn how it works here” she said.

I didn’t get what she said but I just nod.

“Here, I’ll let you borrow this, get dress and I’ll see you down stairs.” She handed me a shirt that looks like the one she is wearing a short shorts.

“Thanks! Is this really necessary that we wear this short?”

She nods.

“And FYI we have a very strict dress code here” then she left me.

It’s strange how easy I was able to get a job but I am just so happy because this is way better than the job Nicole signed me up to.

I dressed up quickly although I am really conscious wearing the short shorts cause I don’t remember wearing one in St. Louis before. As much as possible I don’t want anyone to see my skin, I have been conscious about it since Dan forced himself to me. But this time I have no choice, I need to do this for my job. I am lucky to be able to get one without being asked if I have the experience or not and I even got a place to stay so I don’t have any plans of ruining the best thing that happened to me so far.

After tying my hair up like Kate I went downstairs to start my new career; being a real waitress.

10:00 PM when we finally closed the diner. I feel so exhausted because I worked for an eleven hour shift. Kate taught me a lot of things from taking orders to delivering it to customers. She also taught me on how to prepare drinks, how to make coffee using the machine and so far I was able to remember everything. It doesn’t pay a lot but since I have free board and lodging I will still be able to save money to support myself.

The diner opens at 9 am; there are a total of 7 employees and we all work in shifting schedules. Normal shift is only for eight hours but overtime open for those who are interested. Opening shift is from 9am until 6 pm, then closing shift is from 12nn to 9 pm and we spend 1 hour of cleaning until 10pm. Ron the owner goes home at eight to rest. There are always 3 people in the dining area and 1 in the kitchen. Everything is rotation, so tomorrow I will need to learn how to operate the kitchen.  The work is tiring when it gets crowded especially at noon and at dinner but it’s fine, at least I don’t have to sell myself to earn money, I am done with that when I left Dan and I am not going back.

 

 

 

I woke around 8 am to prepare for work, for the first time I didn’t dream about Dan, I really wished that I will stop having nightmares.

Kate is still asleep since she went home around 3 am, actually her shift will start at 12nn like me but I will be observing today that’s why I woke up early.

I went to the kitchen and found Alice; the 19 year old brunette who use fake lashes and very red lipstick. She stays at the room opposite ours with the other blonde name Jane If I wasn’t mistaken.

“Morning” she greeted me.

“Morning” I replied.

She cracked some eggs and put them on the bowl.

“I was the one in charge for the breakfast” she said.

I smiled and opened the fridge for some orange juice. I sat on the chair and sipped on my juice as she started cooking the eggs on the frying pan.

“Where are the others?” I asked when I noticed that no one was there aside from us.

She placed the scrambled eggs on the plate.

“Jane my roommate and Sally went on a run but they’ll be back in a bit, Megan is in the supermarket with Ron to check for some supplies” she answered as she put the bacon on the pan.

I nod as I stared at her cooking more food. She was wearing a khaki knee length short and a spaghetti strap top paired with her pink furry slippers. Her hair is in a messy bun, she is pretty like Barbie doll. Another thing I noticed with the people who works at the diner, they were all pretty; tall, skinny, pale skinned, long haired long legged young girls. I was kind of flattered to be included.

“I think Kate is still sleeping” she said.

“Yeah, she went home late last night” I comment

She nods as she put the bacon on the other plate.

“Last night was her duty” she said.

“Duty?” I wondered.

“Yeah, she didn’t tell you didn’t she?” she laughed.

I shook my head.

“Didn’t tell me what?” I asked.

“You will find out soon” she said.

Like before I didn’t understand what she meant, but I shut my mouth up I don’t want to be the girl who pries. She made some toast then set the table.

“Let’s eat, don’t wait up for them” she said.

I nod and started filling my plate with some food. She told me a lot of things, mostly things that Kate already told me yesterday. But she never mentioned anything about the duty so I didn’t ask anymore. Besides I am one of the waitresses, I don’t live in a fancy place like the one Keith gave us so I don’t think there is something more behind us serving food.

 

 

 

 

Like yesterday the place started to get crowded when the clock hits 12 o’clock in the afternoon. People from the beach rest to get some lunch, I stopped observing from the kitchen with Lana; the 20 year old red head and the oldest in the group, she doesn’t wear makeup like the others but she seems to be obsessed with body piercing . Ron told me to help taking orders with the other girls.

When the place got little calmer I saw two blondes entered the diner, they were both wearing 2 piece with short shorts the other is green while the other one is orange paired with flip flops. They both carries towel so it’s obvious that they just gone from the beach.

They sat on the table so I immediately went towards them to take their orders.

“Hi, what can I get you for lunch” I politely asked as I handed them the menu.

They girl with gorgeous pair of green eyes scanned the menu while the skinny blonde who wore orange swimsuit keeps on glancing at the door.

“We’re still waiting for someone” the skinny blonde said. 

I nod.

“Alright, if you’re ready to order just call me” I smiled and went towards the next table who was calling me for assistance.

Before I was able to reach the other customer I bumped into the girl who was hurrying inside the place.

“Jillian?”

How can I forget that familiar pitchy voice and her gorgeous locks paired with smoking blue eyes, sharp pointed nose and full lips? Besides it’s only been three days since we parted ways and I decided to be on my own.

“You work here?” she asked.

I gave her a boring nod and walked to the table who was calling me before I bumped into Nicole.

“Can I help you?” I asked the old guy from the table near the window where you can see a full view of the beach.

“Can you give me another glass of iced tea?” he said.

“Sure, I’ll be right back” I said.

I made my way to the counter to get the tea pot.

“How are you?” she asked.

I didn’t notice that she followed me.

“Never been better” I sarcastically answered.

She smirked but still followed me when I walked back to the old man and refilled his glass.

“Anything else I can get you?”

The old man shook his head and I walked away from his table. Nicole followed me and she really isn’t getting that I don’t want to talk to her. I am not being a bitch or something and I am also not being unfortunate for everything she had done but I am still pissed at her for lying to me.

“Can you at least talk to me?” I felt the frustration on her voice.

How dare she sound frustrated for me not talking to her? I slightly shook my head but I chose to ignore her attitude.

“Jillian, please stop acting like some brat!” she snorted. “I lied and I’m sorry but after everything I have done for you I don’t think I deserve like this.”

Wow! She is really testing my patience.

“What do you want me to do? Kiss your feet for helping me escape?” I snapped.

I managed to keep my voice down even though I was really mad, I don’t want to catch any attention especially my boss’.

“No! Of course not I just don’t like this” she moved closer to me. “All I want is for you to hear me out. I only hooked you up with Keith because I want us to have something to start on, the offer was good. And it’s not a permanent thing, you can go if you want, I just thought you want to save money to continue your studies and Keith really pays a lot” she whispered.

“Yeah, and he asked a lot too” I smirked.

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry but I am not coming back there, this doesn’t pay a lot but I prefer to be here than to sell myself”

She nods.

“Well if that’s what you want I am not going to force you, good luck and is that your boss?” she suddenly asked pointing on Ron who was sitting on the cashier like the usual.

“Yeah” I nod. “Why?”

She shook her head.

“Nothing, just be careful okay?” she shrugged her shoulders.

I didn’t get what she meant but I just nod and then I watched her walked towards the table of the two blondes I was servicing earlier. Then I figured those were Keith’s girls.

 

 

 

 

I woke up in the middle of the night because of another nightmare courtesy of non-other than Dan. I was sweating all over my body, my throat is dry too so I decided to get something to drink. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and its 3 am. Kate is snoring so I tip toed to the kitchen cause I don’t want to make any kind of noise.

I didn’t turn on the kitchen bulb cause the full moon is just enough to light the way. I took some mineral water from the fridge, I drank it right away and an instant satisfaction covered my throat.

I was about to take the stairs to go back to our room when I heard some gasping coming from Ron’s room. I also noticed that his lights are on which was weird cause Ron usually sleeps from 8 in the evening until 6 am. Staying there for almost a week now made me memorized his daily and nightly routines. A sudden panic washed over me, with Ron’s weight it’s not really unusual if he gets a heart attack. I was shaken by the thought, what if he is really having a heart attack? What will I do? Should I wake the others? The gasping went louder and my heart beat became faster. I went to his room and gasping turned groaning, the door is slightly open so I decided to peek inside first and I was thankful that I didn’t go in there cause apparently Ron wasn’t having a heart attack, the gasping and groaning are due to the intense pleasure he was getting from Megan; Lana’s roommate and the youngest among us seventeen, she has this innocent big black eyes with long lashes, small sharp pointed nose, and small lips. And I can’t believe that behind that innocent look she is giving Ron a blow job.

I immediately tip toed back to our room; I was chasing my breath as I lock the door and sat on my bed. I can’t believe that Megan will do such thing; it’s not that I judge people but based on my experience those people like Ron, they are old, bored and disgusting. I still want to puke every time I remember being fucked by 5 different guys at the stag party Dan signed me up for and not to mention being taken by my evil step father since I turned 14.

“Hey, why are you still awake?”

I almost jumped when I heard the husky voice of Kate.

“N-nothing. . .” I lied.

She looked at me with eyes wondering what’s going on. I was sweating and I was breathing so fast. She sat on the bed Buddha style.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” she asked concernedly.

I don’t know what to do, should I tell her? But if I do Megan might hate me and I don’t want them to think that she is such a slut. But shouldn’t they need to be aware that there something like that going on in our work place? Cause it may be possible that Ron is just forcing Megan like what Dan did to me and if I tell Kate now, maybe we can act right now.

“Come on, Jill. You know you can tell me everything.” She said.

I’ve only been here for a week and since I stopped any communication with Nicole, Kate and the rest of the girls are basically my family now and of course Kate is the closest with me.

“Alright” I sighed. “I went to the kitchen to get some cold water” she listened. “And I heard something in Ron’s room” I stopped cause I don’t how to say it in a way that Kate wont judge Megan.

“You saw Ron fucking Megan” she laughed.

I was horrified. She knew? And they didn’t even do anything about it?

“You knew?” I asked.

I am really confused about everything. Kate nods.

“All along you knew? And you didn’t do anything about it?” I asked.

She shook her head and smirked.

“That’s not how it works here Jill; Megan isn’t the only one doing that. . .” she paused. “I do that and the rest of the girls here too” she admits.

She only made everything more confused for me. They all sleep with Ron? But why?

“I knew you are wondering why we do that, its part of our job, it’s what we do for a living and I am not expecting you to understand. I felt the same when I first started here, but eventually I got it and it’s not that bad” she said.

I shook my head; I can’t help not to feel frustrated about this whole thing.

“I don’t understand, I mean is he forcing you to do it?” I asked with the obvious frustration on my tone.

“No” she said calmly. “Ron never forced anyone of us, although he initiated the idea, we were doing it because we want to. You maybe think that Ron is a bad person but he isn’t, he maybe stiff and strict but he has a good heart. I can even remember the first time I got here. I ran away from home, my mom is a stoned woman who wants to sell me to work as a prostitute. I saw this place, I asked Ron if I can work with him and even though I had no experience, I was a dropped out junior high school student with nothing, no place, no money, as in nothing” I was able to relate to her. “Ron never hesitated to hire me; he gave me a job, a place, and a family. When I first knew it I felt disgusted too but eventually I was able to understand it. And now I am doing it like it is part of my life”

I don’t know how to say after hearing her story, even though she clearly said that Ron isn’t a bad person for me I still think that he is just like Dan. He is just as evil as Dan.

Kate told me everything that I wasn’t able to find slumber because I have been thinking about it.

Apparently, all the girls in the diner are all giving Ron extra service every night. They even have schedules. Sunday is Lana, Monday is Jane, Tuesday is Sally, Wednesday is Kate, Thursday is Alice, Friday is Megan and Saturday is Lauren but she left and I am her replacement. Now I get why everyone looks like they were all running for America’s Next Top Model. Kate said they were doing it because they want to. They consider Ron as a family. But there is no family that will do such thing. Kate said that Ron lost his wife and 2 kids in a car crash 4 years ago. He was lonely and mourning, a year later he opened the diner and Lana was his first waitress, she was his first “employee with benefits” too. Kate told me a lot actually everything and one thing I know for sure I am not giving Ron anything more than what a normal waitress should do.

 

 

 

As much as I tried to act normal in front of everyone I can’t help myself not to feel awkward whenever I am around them, especially Ron. I feel conscious every time he gets close to me. I feel like any minute he is going to touch me. I don’t mean to judge them since I am not a virgin myself but at least I lost it because I was force to. Even after I heard their story I still didn’t understand why they do it, I don’t think it was about the money cause if that will be the case they could’ve just applied to Keith that pays way better than here. Based on what Kate told me, they were doing it out of pity. She even said that once a week of sex with Ron won’t hurt at all.

“Jillian! What are you doing there?” I almost jump from where I was standing when I heard the loud voice of Ron.

My mind got occupied by what I found out. I forgot that I was standing at the counter waiting for the customer’s order and apparently it has been served already and the customer is a bit frustrated. I immediately took the order and ran to the customer’s table. I apologized for keeping her waiting and she just smirked at me. I came back to the counter to get some refill when Ron walked towards me.

“What is wrong with you? Are you sick?” he snorted at me.

I shook my head right away. My heartbeat accelerated as he leaned close to me.

“Then do your job right” he yelled at me.

I looked down because people were staring at me. I walked towards the other customer’s table in embarrassment.

Despite of having a busy day the thought of the girls sleeping with Ron is still didn’t slip my mind, even a bit.

I went to bed early since I was alone; the girls went to the beach party hosted by one of the customer’s in the diner while Ron went out to play some poker. I am planning to do some reading or maybe some net surfing since Kate left her laptop with me.

I got to thinking of what I am going to do with my life. I am planning to save money, and I want to go back to school. I need to finish high school first in order for me to step in to college. I want to at least finish my studies, I don’t want to serve pan cakes forever and I don’t definitely want to sleep around just to earn money.

I am just hoping that Ron won’t do anything that will make me leave this place, cause as of the moment I don’t have enough money to get me some decent place to live.

I turned on Kate’s computer and went online, I typed in my old school’s website, I would like to get in touch with the guidance counselor or registrar’s office to request for my credentials to be sent to me. Since it is beyond office hours, no one is available to chat with, so I decided to just send an e-mail.

I checked on Google and Yahoo news before turning it off. I put it back to Kate’s cabinet before I rested my body in my bed. That day was a bit exhausting good thing we’re close tomorrow so I am planning to check the city to do some window shopping; I remember how Ron embarrassed me in front of many people earlier. But I felt a bit relieved because I don’t think Ron like me to be his Saturday dish.

 

 

 

I was awakened by the warm hand caressing my legs; I didn’t know how long I was asleep. The last thing I remembered, I was reading my Literature Book, the warm hand continues to caress my legs sending me shivers. I opened my eyes as the hand went in between my legs.

I was horror seeing Ron’s face smiling at me in desire. I immediately removed his hand but before I was able to sit up he went on top of me.

“No” I pushed him away

He smirked and he didn’t even move an inch. Well he is more or less 200 pounds while I don’t even know if I even weigh 40 kilos.

“It’s Saturday night, didn’t the girls tell you?” he teased.

I tried so hard to push him away but he is too heavy for me, and every time I get unsuccessful he gives me a familiar smirked that I used to know; Dan. A sudden anger washed over me. After all these years he is following me, he started to kiss me on my neck. I was able to run away from Dan and I will never ever let anyone else do this to me again. I am done letting people control and violate me. This is my life and I should be the one in control.

I glanced on the side table in between my bed and Kate’s bed and I saw the lamp shade over it. I tried so hard to reach for it. Tears are forming in my eyes but I kept them from falling I am not going to cry again.

When I successfully reach the lamp shade, I gave all energy I have and threw it on Ron’s head. He fell on the floor holding his head, I got up and held the lamp as tight as possible, and if he overcomes this pain for sure I’ll be dead, so I walked to him and slammed him the lamp over and over again.

Reality came back to me when blood started to flow from his head down to his face. He cried in pain as he laid on the floor and my heart beats fast when he is no longer moving. Is he dead? Did I kill him?

I loosen my grip on the lamp until it fell on the floor, the glass breaks on my feet but I was frozen from where I was standing.

If he is really dead then I might end up in jail. I need to get away from there before the girls come home. I ran to my cabinet, grabbed my back pack and filled it as many things as I can. I was running from as fast as I can, it was late and since the party on the beach is still on no one is actually roaming around the street. I don’t even know where I am going but I just need to be as far away as possible from that place. No one will help me. I am a stranger here, no one will help me except for one person; Nicole.

I was thankful that I still know how to find Keith’s club. I was thinking twice if I should ask for their help or not. For sure Keith hate me so much, I don’t even know if he was aware about my feud with Nicole. I am ashamed but I don’t have any choice, admit it or not I need them. 

I took a deep breath before opening the door I was still shaking for earlier incident when I walked inside; at the door I was gotten in the way by one big guy I think he is a bouncer or something. His skin is tan, he is wearing black fit shirt that has ‘security’ on it and black pants. He is creeping the hell out of me.

“No solicitation allowed here” he said in huge husky voice.

I tightly held the strap of my backpack for some support.

“I-I was looking for K-Keith” I hesitantly said.

He smirked like a dog. I have a huge feeling that he doesn’t believe me. Well, I can’t really blame him; I was wearing a pair of sesame street pajama that Kate lend me with flip flops and back pack. I was even sweating from running so fast. So I don’t really look like someone knows the owner of a huge strip club.

“I- I am not l-lying, I am looking for Keith, I really need to talk to him, it’s important” I was shaking.

This guy is really scaring me. His wrestler appearance can easily break all the bones in my body.

He shrugged his shoulders and took the walkie-talkie he has hanging on the waist.

“Someone is looking here for boss” he said on the radio.

I was surprised that he didn’t ask any more questions.

“Copy!”

He put the radio back on his waist and looked at me again.

“Wait here” he said

I nodded.

“Thanks!”

I stood there, slightly tapping my foot on the floor. I don’t even know what to tell Keith. I don’t even know what his reaction will be. For sure he hates me, I just ran away I didn’t even talk to him.

Mr. Creepy/Wrestler guy stood in front of me too, watching my every move.

“Who is it t—”

I saw how surprised Keith was to see me; he looks so handsome wearing a khaki suit.

“Boss she said she knows you” creepy/wrestler guy said.

Keith nods.

“Yeah, you can go inside, I’ll take care of this here” he told the bouncer and he immediately disappeared.

Keith ran his gaze on me from head to toe and then shook his head.

“I had a feeling you are coming back” he comments

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Is Nicole there?” I asked.

He glanced inside.

“She is doing a show, what are you doing here?”

I remembered Ron’s bloody face and fear came to me again.

“I-I n-need, I need your help” I was about to cry again. “I t-think I killed someone”

Chapter Four

“Stay away from me!” I screamed.

I was running so fast that I don’t even know where I am going, all I know is I need to go away as far as I can or else he’ll reach me. I don’t know how he found me, I thought after going away I can finally be free from him.

I turned around to see if he is still following me and I was able to breathe when I didn’t see him. I didn’t stop running but I bumped into something hard.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He was there in front of me holding my arms with a tight grip. My eyes widened in horror, my whole body is frozen and I was shaking terribly. How on earth did he get there? He was just behind me, this isn’t happening.

“Help!!!” I screamed.

He laughed like a devil.

“Do you think someone will hear you?”

I looked around and all I saw was nothing but water and sand. No one was even there.

“No one will help you” he whispered to my ear.

Then he pulled my hair and started dragging me to the water, I cried in pain, I feel like my hair is being ripped from my head. I tremble when I felt the cold water on my feet, then on my knees and on my waist.

I lost my breath when he started to drown my head on the water. I reached for his hand as I to gasp for air, I feel like anytime now I am going to die.

“Jillian!!!!”

I opened my eyes as I chase my breath.

“You were dreaming” said Nicole.

I embraced her as I realized it was all a dream, thank god I was only having a nightmare.

“He was here” I cried.

I was so afraid, I thought I was going to die, I thought he really did find me. I don’t wanna go back there again.

“Shhh. . . He’s not here, he is gone and he will never ever find you I promise” she said.

I stayed in her arms for a bit longer than I expected, it was nice to know that I have Nicole with me. She makes me feel protected and it lessens the fear that I feel every time I remember Dan.

After breakfast we dressed up cause Keith is bringing us to our place. 10 minutes has passed when he stopped at a huge house, when I said huge it’s really big, even bigger than his place so I really doubt if we are staying there.

I looked at Nicole trying to figure out what’s going on but it seems like she was clueless like me.

We both shrugged our shoulders as we followed Keith inside the house; we were surprised from what we saw cause it didn’t look like a house inside, it wasn’t a house at all. After the main door, you have to pass by a much smaller door than the main before we were able to get inside the place.

As you passed by second door, it wasn’t a living room that you will find; in fact there is no living area anywhere the place. All you see are chairs and tables, bar stools, a huge stage in the center with a pole on it, disco lights, and a huge set of sound system. It wasn’t a house but it was a bar, a very cozy and expensive bar.

“Welcome to my kingdom” Keith said to us.

We smiled at him, still confused of what’s happening.

“Keith”

I almost jumped from where I was standing when a tall pale skinned guy walked towards us, he came from the back of the stage, I think.

Keith shook his hand.

“Nate, man how are you?”

“I’m fine man” said the guy. “Where have you been?”

The guy looks the same age as Keith, he was taller than Keith and his body is much toner too. He looks much decent too, wearing a coat paired with faded jeans and his wearing a buttoned shirt inside his coat. His big blue eyes are perfect fit with his sharp pointed nose and thick lips are so kissable, in short he is totally hot.

“Yummy” Nicole whispered in my ear.

I shook my head

“You already hooking up with Keith” I whispered back as the two guys continue to chat.

“So who are these chicks?” Nate asked cocking his brow.

Keith smiled proudly.

“Well, they are my Missouri babes” Keith introduced us. “Nicole and Jillian, girls this is my partner Nate”

Nate offered his hand and Nicole gladly shook it, I felt that he slightly squeezed my palm when it was my turn to shake it.

“Nice to meet you girls” he grinned.

“Likewise” Nicole replied while I just nod at him.

I don’t know if it was just me or what but I felt like his eyes are following my every move although I just stood there waiting for Keith and Nicole.

“Hey by the way I have to discuss something with you” Nate told Keith

Keith nod.

“Okay, let’s talk in the office” he said. “Annie” Keith called.

A girl with a shocking red hair color came from the back stage, I think. She was wearing a micro mini skirt that’s almost showing her bare skin paired with a red strapless top that covers only half of her breasts and a pair of red stilettos. She has black tint on her eyes that looks like Jenny Humphrey, her nose is cute and her lips are so red. I must say she loves red so much that even her long nails have that color.

“Yes?” she asked as she noisily chewing a gum.

“Yeah, these are Nicole and Jillian; they’re new, so show them their place and tell them the rules okay?” Keith said. “This is Annie she is in charge with the employee” he said.

Then Keith and Nate walked towards the back of the stage, I figured that’s where they’re office is.

“So, where are you from?” Annie asked.

She took her phone out of her pocket and started pushing something on the screen.

“Well, where from Missouri, I am Nicole and she is Jillian” replied Nicole.

She just nods but didn’t even bother to look at us. I found that kind of rude.

“Okay, follow me” she said then started walking.

Nicole rolled her eyes as we tailed behind her.

“What a bitch” Nicole whispered and I just shrugged my shoulders.

Annie showed us around the place, the bar was huge, aside from the one that we saw earlier; there are also VIP rooms at the back. It was cozy but I started feeling a little strange about it. At the back of the VIP rooms were the Keith and Nate office and the storage room. As we reach the exit, there was a tall and wide wall that has a small door at the end side. At the back of the wall I was completely shaken by what I saw; small houses that looks the same. Wow! I never thought I’ll see something like this. That was a small community.

We followed Annie as she walked her way on one of the houses. I can’t help but notice the name of the state on each house. I wasn’t surprised when she opened one of the houses that have Missouri written on the door. The place was nice, it has blue paint all over the place, it was nice and beautiful, there was a small living room on the right side with L- shape black couch and a complete television set, and a dining room on the left, there was a square table with 4 dining chairs on each corners, the kitchen has a small fridge, stove, and a sink and cabinets. There was also a bar table and bar stools that separates the kitchen to the dining table.

There were also a couple of paintings from Missouri that hangs on the wall; the place was actually nice and neat. It is even nicer than our house in Missouri. I glanced at Nicole but like before she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Alright, so this is your place.” Annie said. “There are two rooms, it’s up for you two to decide which room would like to take” she added as she pointed the doors on the hallway. “That is your kitchen, for starters like you we will provide your supplies for the week, but we will deduct it on your salary. Also, the rent for the house will also be deducted on your pay. Don’t worry everything is documented, tonight we will show you your contracts with the terms and conditions included.” she explained. “So welcome to the United State of America, the biggest and hippest club in Florida” she said bluntly.

I thought I was the least cheery person in the world but it seems like the throne was taken from me by Annie.

“By the way, I’ll dropped by at five for your costumes, so I will suggest to be prepared before that, boss loves those who are punctual, and please you have your girly things in your rooms so make use of them and FYI those will not be deducted on your pay okay?” she instructed.

I really didn’t know if I was just dumb or what, but I am really getting super confused about this whole thing.

“Costumes?” I asked

Annie nod.

“Yeah, every night we have a theme, so you will wear costumes.” She answered.

“Maybe you mean uniforms” I corrected her.

She smirked.

“Whatever you wanna call it, see you later at five. The club opens at 7 but we gather our employees at 6 for a nightly briefing” then she walked her way out of the place.

I was left there confused and clueless on what is really waiting for us tonight.

I got more confused when I saw my room, after Annie left us and after we took a short tour of the place Nicole and I decided to check our rooms and have some rest since we’ll start working tonight.

The room was nice; the walls are painted pastels with butterfly wall paper on some parts of it. There was a single bed in the middle of the room, the bed sheet were just plain white just like I would like it. There was a night stand on the left, and a small side table on the right that has one drawer which is perfect for some of my things. There was also an empty study table and chair on the left side of the room while a closet on the right side and beside it was a huge mirror. I am still wondering why Keith would invest something like this to his employees. I know he looks rich but why would he spend so much for his waitresses, he maybe super nice but honestly with the looks of Keith I don’t think he is the type who will do nice things without expecting something in return. I don’t mean to pry but based on my experiences I am not really the type of person that sees the best in people.

I sighed as I started to unpack my things. I opened the closet and I was stunned with what came after my eyes. The closet has some item in it that in my opinion are very inappropriate for a waitress. Those were lingerie, in different styles and colors. Now I am no longer wondering and confused, I am now nervous and terrified.

I know something is up and it’s either Nicole is also not aware about it or she isn’t telling me the truth. And my instinct is telling me that my second thought is right. I pulled one of the lingerie’s out of the closet and ran to Nicole’s room. She was lying on the bed, with cucumber on her eyes.

“Nicole tell me the truth, are we really here to be waitresses?” I asked with the obvious anger on my tone

She almost fell from the bed cause I didn’t even knock.

“Geez, don’t you know how to knock?” she growled.

I ignored her angry gaze; I am so pissed being clueless about this whole thing.

“Just answer me”

She sat on the bed and set aside the cucumber on the plate on her night stand.

“I already answered your questions last night. What else would you want to know?” she was pissed.

“The truth” I threw the lingerie on her bed.

She reached the piece of clothing.

“Wow this is sexy, where did you find this?”

“I found that in my closet, that was just one, there is still a couple of that there. You should check your closet too” I said then she gets off the bed and walked to her closet and I was right. Although we didn’t exactly have the same reaction, she was actually excited to try them on.

“Now answer, are we really waitresses here? Or are we here to strip?”

She put the lingerie down and looked at me trying to figure out what to say.

“No offense Nic, but all I want right now is the truth and I’d really appreciate it if you will tell me what is really going on”

She sighed and sat back on the bed.

“Alright, but before anything else I want you to know that I did it because I want you to know that I did want you to be free from that evil” she said referring to Dan.

I listened though I’m still pissed.

“What I told you last night was true. . .” she took a deep breath and rolled her eyes “well partly true. . . When I met Keith in a bar, she offered me a job, she runs this club, not just an ordinary club, it’s a high profile club and he calls it USA club where he collects girls from different states in the country. He was recruiting local girls to work with him the night that I met him. He asked me if I knew someone who would like to work with him, someone who is experience with that kind of work. So I thought about you cause I knew like me you want to be free from our town.”

I shook my head. I do not believe this is happening.

“And you didn’t tell me because?” I asked.

She looked at me I can feel she is nervous.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would react this way and it’s going to ruin our plan.” She answered.

“Of course I was going to react this way” I was yelling, I am really angry “I left town because I want to have a new life, a better life and I trusted you cause I thought you want the same but you signed me up for this?”

She stood up and tried to reach my hands but I pushed her.

“Why don’t you just look at the bright side? We’re here in Miami, we have a place to live, a food to eat and we have work. We are having a new life so will you please stop acting like a baby?” she snorted.

“Acting like a baby? Well you don’t really get it do you? I left town because I wanted change, not like this. If it is easy for you to sell yourself to earn money well not me, sorry but I wasn’t born a slut like you.”

Then I stepped out of her room, I don’t know but as soon as I closed my door room tears fell from my eyes. I know what I said was harsh but I am so angry at her for lying to me. I trusted her, even if it was hard for me to trust people. I believed in her, I even imagined some good things that we will do together, but in the end she just tricked me.

I put my things back on my bag and headed out of the house. I didn’t even bother to tell her I was leaving. I don’t know where I am going but what is important right now is that I can get out of this place as soon as possible.

 

I stopped walking when I finally reach the beach, I am not afraid that Keith might look for me. He doesn’t own me; I didn’t sign any contract so I can leave whenever I want. I still hate the way things ended between me and Nicole. For a couple of days that we’ve been together I considered her as the only family I have but I just can’t believe that she will sell us. I knew it’s going to be hard for us; living in a new state where no one knows us, no one will help us but I had plans in my head, I had savings, I planned of us working together to be able to survive life. But I didn’t know that all along she had her own plan.

I sat on the sand, watching the sun to set, the red shadow of the sun on the water is soothing, and I hugged my knees as the cold wind blew to my direction. There were a couple of teenagers like me who are chasing each other on the water. Some are sitting on the sand like me, some are making out and some are starting building a bon fire. A sudden envy feeling grew inside my chest. I envy how normal life is to them. I was never a normal girl; I didn’t grow up in a normal environment, I lost my dad as early as I can even remember, my mom was blinded with her love for a man whose soul is evil. Sometimes I wished, I could be like these people that I can be a normal girl, a girl that can hang out with her friends, a girl who can date whoever she wants. But I know I am that girl and I will never be that girl.

Tears once again fell from eyes; I have never been so alone in my entire life. For the first time in a long time I felt lonely. I have always been alone, no friend, no family. But now that I finally don’t see mom or feel dad I feel like I am the only person left in this world.

“Dad. . .” I cried.

I don’t know where I am going after this, I don’t have a place to live, I can’t even check in a motel because my money is not going to be enough for the whole month.

This isn’t how I pictured myself; I was going to be a doctor, my entire life I have been dreaming of being on the medical field. I will be the resident doctor of St. Louis Medical Hospital, I will marry the director or maybe another doctor and we’ll have our own family. I never wanted to leave town, I didn’t even thought about it not until I was 13. Not until Dan took everything I hoped for, everything I wished for and everything I dreamed of. Now I am sitting here broke, jobless, homeless and clueless on how I will face the tomorrow.

 

 

“She’s alive”

.

 “No, she’s not!”

.

 “OMG she’s moving”

.

“Should we call the police?”

I was awakened with the small voices talking in high pitches on my brain. When I opened my eyes, a bunch of kids came after my sight.

“I told you she was alive”

Apparently, I fell asleep on the sand while thinking about what will happen to me and while crying about how misfortune I was. And apparently, these kids thought I was dead.

I sat on the sand and hugged my backpack; I didn’t realize that I was that pale for these kids to think that I was dead.

“Yes, I am alive” I told them

They smiled at me as they walked towards the beach. The sun is shining really bright that it’s going to be so nice to soak up in the water. I think its noon and as much as I want to swim all day I have a lot of things to do.

I stood up, took my jacket off and put my backpack on. I started walking my out of the beach. Since I don’t have anything right now, I should start looking for a job, although I don’t know how since I am an undergraduate high school senior without any experience or credentials.

My stomach rumbled when I sight a small diner outside the beach, then I remembered that the last time I ate was at Keith’s place.

I still have money to eat something so I went inside the diner to get some pancakes. If I will look for a job I should at least eat right?

I sat on the table near the window and a kind of away from the crowd. I am a complete stranger in this place so I don’t want to catch any kind of attention. Most of the people that were there were teenagers ready to take a swim. I looked around and I can see how life is simple here in this town.

“Can I get you something” the waitress that looks like my age came to me.

She was wearing a blue collared shirt, tattered short shorts, flip flops and a blue apron. Her blonde hair is tied up with a nice ponytail and her blue eye shadow is kind of disturbing.

“I’ll have some pancakes with bacon and coffee please” I said.

She smiled and wrote something on the notebook that she has.

“I’ll be right back”

I watched her walked back on the counter and passed the piece of paper she ripped from the note book to the guy peaking on the small hole or window. I believe that was the kitchen.

I patiently waited for my order to come; I am worried on how my day will turn out. Last night I didn’t know where to go, I sat on the sand for hours until I finally fell asleep on the beach. I don’t know if I can survive that kind of life.

After a couple of minutes my food was delivered by the same girl who took my order.

“Pancakes with bacon and coffee” she said as she put the plate down on the table. “Would there be anything else that I can get you?” she asked.

“I’m good thanks!” I answered.

She was about to leave my table.

“Wait!” I called.

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath.

“Is there any opening here? Maybe you need another waitress?” I asked.

She looked at the counter and smiled.

“Well an extra hand will be very helpful since summer is just around the corner but I am not the one to decide. . .” she said. “Do you see that big guy over there?” she pointed on the white haired fat guy sitting on the cashier. “That’s the owner so he is the best person to ask, but just to give an idea, he’s not very easy to deal with” she warned me.

I nod.

“Thanks! I’ll talk to him later”

“Welcome, by the way I’m Kate”

“Jillian”

“Nice to meet you Jillian”

“Same here”

She smiled and went to the other table to take orders.

My stomach was so happy when I was done eating my breakfast, now I can have my full focus on looking for a job. The owner of the diner is still sitting on the cashier as I made my way towards his direction. He is wearing a blue shirt like the one that Kate was wearing and all the other waitresses that were there and khaki pants. I was hesitant to approach him because he looks like he doesn’t smile at all. His hair is gray and some parts of his head don’t even have hair at all. His face is freckled and his gray eyes creeps the hell out of me. I took a deep breath as I stood in front of him but I shouldn’t let my fear take away the chance that I might get a job.

“Hi Sir” I greeted him trying to cheerful as possible “My name is Jillian and I was told by one of your waitress Kate that you are the owner of this place.” I introduced myself.

He looked at Kate’s direction.

“Did she mess up again?” he asked angrily not leaving his gaze to Kate.

I shook my head, I don’t want to get her in trouble since this man looks like he sees the worst in people but I am already here.

“No actually, I was here to see if you are interested in hiring me”

He looked at me from head to toe. I felt uncomfortable that he is studying me or something.

“Okay, you’re hired!” he said.

I cocked my brow, is he for real?

“Really?” I cannot really believe this.

He nods.

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything, where I came from, my background anything?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“Well you are pretty, and skinny so you’ll fit here, you’ll start today” he said “By the way, my employees here are stay in, Kate here’s your new roommate” then he turned to the cashier and counted the money there.

Kate brought me to the kitchen where there is a stairs to reach the second floor of the place. There I saw a living room, a dining area and a kitchen.

“That’s his room” Kate pointed a door on the hallway from the living area.

The she guided me to the stairs up to the third floor where the rooms are.

“Is he always like that?” I asked Kate.

She opened door at the end of the place, the room was just right for two people, it wasn’t huge and it wasn’t that small; there were two single beds on each side of the room and a wooden table in the middle of the beds. Each side has nightstands two doors closets

“What do you mean?” she asked back.

“He just hired me without even asking if I have experience” I told her.

She laughed.

“You obviously not from here” she said and I nodded. “Well, you will learn how it works here” she said.

I didn’t get what she said but I just nod.

“Here, I’ll let you borrow this, get dress and I’ll see you down stairs.” She handed me a shirt that looks like the one she is wearing a short shorts.

“Thanks! Is this really necessary that we wear this short?”

She nods.

“And FYI we have a very strict dress code here” then she left me.

It’s strange how easy I was able to get a job but I am just so happy because this is way better than the job Nicole signed me up to.

I dressed up quickly although I am really conscious wearing the short shorts cause I don’t remember wearing one in St. Louis before. As much as possible I don’t want anyone to see my skin, I have been conscious about it since Dan forced himself to me. But this time I have no choice, I need to do this for my job. I am lucky to be able to get one without being asked if I have the experience or not and I even got a place to stay so I don’t have any plans of ruining the best thing that happened to me so far.

After tying my hair up like Kate I went downstairs to start my new career; being a real waitress.

10:00 PM when we finally closed the diner. I feel so exhausted because I worked for an eleven hour shift. Kate taught me a lot of things from taking orders to delivering it to customers. She also taught me on how to prepare drinks, how to make coffee using the machine and so far I was able to remember everything. It doesn’t pay a lot but since I have free board and lodging I will still be able to save money to support myself.

The diner opens at 9 am; there are a total of 7 employees and we all work in shifting schedules. Normal shift is only for eight hours but overtime open for those who are interested. Opening shift is from 9am until 6 pm, then closing shift is from 12nn to 9 pm and we spend 1 hour of cleaning until 10pm. Ron the owner goes home at eight to rest. There are always 3 people in the dining area and 1 in the kitchen. Everything is rotation, so tomorrow I will need to learn how to operate the kitchen.  The work is tiring when it gets crowded especially at noon and at dinner but it’s fine, at least I don’t have to sell myself to earn money, I am done with that when I left Dan and I am not going back.

 

I woke around 8 am to prepare for work, for the first time I didn’t dream about Dan, I really wished that I will stop having nightmares.

Kate is still asleep since she went home around 3 am, actually her shift will start at 12nn like me but I will be observing today that’s why I woke up early.

I went to the kitchen and found Alice; the 19 year old brunette who use fake lashes and very red lipstick. She stays at the room opposite ours with the other blonde name Jane If I wasn’t mistaken.

“Morning” she greeted me.

“Morning” I replied.

She cracked some eggs and put them on the bowl.

“I was the one in charge for the breakfast” she said.

I smiled and opened the fridge for some orange juice. I sat on the chair and sipped on my juice as she started cooking the eggs on the frying pan.

“Where are the others?” I asked when I noticed that no one was there aside from us.

She placed the scrambled eggs on the plate.

“Jane my roommate and Sally went on a run but they’ll be back in a bit, Megan is in the supermarket with Ron to check for some supplies” she answered as she put the bacon on the pan.

I nod as I stared at her cooking more food. She was wearing a khaki knee length short and a spaghetti strap top paired with her pink furry slippers. Her hair is in a messy bun, she is pretty like Barbie doll. Another thing I noticed with the people who works at the diner, they were all pretty; tall, skinny, pale skinned, long haired long legged young girls. I was kind of flattered to be included.

“I think Kate is still sleeping” she said.

“Yeah, she went home late last night” I comment

She nods as she put the bacon on the other plate.

“Last night was her duty” she said.

“Duty?” I wondered.

“Yeah, she didn’t tell you didn’t she?” she laughed.

I shook my head.

“Didn’t tell me what?” I asked.

“You will find out soon” she said.

Like before I didn’t understand what she meant, but I shut my mouth up I don’t want to be the girl who pries. She made some toast then set the table.

“Let’s eat, don’t wait up for them” she said.

I nod and started filling my plate with some food. She told me a lot of things, mostly things that Kate already told me yesterday. But she never mentioned anything about the duty so I didn’t ask anymore. Besides I am one of the waitresses, I don’t live in a fancy place like the one Keith gave us so I don’t think there is something more behind us serving food.

Like yesterday the place started to get crowded when the clock hits 12 o’clock in the afternoon. People from the beach rest to get some lunch, I stopped observing from the kitchen with Lana; the 20 year old red head and the oldest in the group, she doesn’t wear makeup like the others but she seems to be obsessed with body piercing . Ron told me to help taking orders with the other girls.

When the place got little calmer I saw two blondes entered the diner, they were both wearing 2 piece with short shorts the other is green while the other one is orange paired with flip flops. They both carries towel so it’s obvious that they just gone from the beach.

They sat on the table so I immediately went towards them to take their orders.

“Hi, what can I get you for lunch” I politely asked as I handed them the menu.

They girl with gorgeous pair of green eyes scanned the menu while the skinny blonde who wore orange swimsuit keeps on glancing at the door.

“We’re still waiting for someone” the skinny blonde said. 

I nod.

“Alright, if you’re ready to order just call me” I smiled and went towards the next table who was calling me for assistance.

Before I was able to reach the other customer I bumped into the girl who was hurrying inside the place.

“Jillian?”

How can I forget that familiar pitchy voice and her gorgeous locks paired with smoking blue eyes, sharp pointed nose and full lips? Besides it’s only been three days since we parted ways and I decided to be on my own.

“You work here?” she asked.

I gave her a boring nod and walked to the table who was calling me before I bumped into Nicole.

“Can I help you?” I asked the old guy from the table near the window where you can see a full view of the beach.

“Can you give me another glass of iced tea?” he said.

“Sure, I’ll be right back” I said.

I made my way to the counter to get the tea pot.

“How are you?” she asked.

I didn’t notice that she followed me.

“Never been better” I sarcastically answered.

She smirked but still followed me when I walked back to the old man and refilled his glass.

“Anything else I can get you?”

The old man shook his head and I walked away from his table. Nicole followed me and she really isn’t getting that I don’t want to talk to her. I am not being a bitch or something and I am also not being unfortunate for everything she had done but I am still pissed at her for lying to me.

“Can you at least talk to me?” I felt the frustration on her voice.

How dare she sound frustrated for me not talking to her? I slightly shook my head but I chose to ignore her attitude.

“Jillian, please stop acting like some brat!” she snorted. “I lied and I’m sorry but after everything I have done for you I don’t think I deserve like this.”

Wow! She is really testing my patience.

“What do you want me to do? Kiss your feet for helping me escape?” I snapped.

I managed to keep my voice down even though I was really mad, I don’t want to catch any attention especially my boss’.

“No! Of course not I just don’t like this” she moved closer to me. “All I want is for you to hear me out. I only hooked you up with Keith because I want us to have something to start on, the offer was good. And it’s not a permanent thing, you can go if you want, I just thought you want to save money to continue your studies and Keith really pays a lot” she whispered.

“Yeah, and he asked a lot too” I smirked.

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry but I am not coming back there, this doesn’t pay a lot but I prefer to be here than to sell myself”

She nods.

“Well if that’s what you want I am not going to force you, good luck and is that your boss?” she suddenly asked pointing on Ron who was sitting on the cashier like the usual.

“Yeah” I nod. “Why?”

She shook her head.

“Nothing, just be careful okay?” she shrugged her shoulders.

I didn’t get what she meant but I just nod and then I watched her walked towards the table of the two blondes I was servicing earlier. Then I figured those were Keith’s girls.

 

I woke up in the middle of the night because of another nightmare courtesy of non-other than Dan. I was sweating all over my body, my throat is dry too so I decided to get something to drink. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and its 3 am. Kate is snoring so I tip toed to the kitchen cause I don’t want to make any kind of noise.

I didn’t turn on the kitchen bulb cause the full moon is just enough to light the way. I took some mineral water from the fridge, I drank it right away and an instant satisfaction covered my throat.

I was about to take the stairs to go back to our room when I heard some gasping coming from Ron’s room. I also noticed that his lights are on which was weird cause Ron usually sleeps from 8 in the evening until 6 am. Staying there for almost a week now made me memorized his daily and nightly routines. A sudden panic washed over me, with Ron’s weight it’s not really unusual if he gets a heart attack. I was shaken by the thought, what if he is really having a heart attack? What will I do? Should I wake the others? The gasping went louder and my heart beat became faster. I went to his room and gasping turned groaning, the door is slightly open so I decided to peek inside first and I was thankful that I didn’t go in there cause apparently Ron wasn’t having a heart attack, the gasping and groaning are due to the intense pleasure he was getting from Megan; Lana’s roommate and the youngest among us seventeen, she has this innocent big black eyes with long lashes, small sharp pointed nose, and small lips. And I can’t believe that behind that innocent look she is giving Ron a blow job.

I immediately tip toed back to our room; I was chasing my breath as I lock the door and sat on my bed. I can’t believe that Megan will do such thing; it’s not that I judge people but based on my experience those people like Ron, they are old, bored and disgusting. I still want to puke every time I remember being fucked by 5 different guys at the stag party Dan signed me up for and not to mention being taken by my evil step father since I turned 14.

“Hey, why are you still awake?”

I almost jumped when I heard the husky voice of Kate.

“N-nothing. . .” I lied.

She looked at me with eyes wondering what’s going on. I was sweating and I was breathing so fast. She sat on the bed Buddha style.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” she asked concernedly.

I don’t know what to do, should I tell her? But if I do Megan might hate me and I don’t want them to think that she is such a slut. But shouldn’t they need to be aware that there something like that going on in our work place? Cause it may be possible that Ron is just forcing Megan like what Dan did to me and if I tell Kate now, maybe we can act right now.

“Come on, Jill. You know you can tell me everything.” She said.

I’ve only been here for a week and since I stopped any communication with Nicole, Kate and the rest of the girls are basically my family now and of course Kate is the closest with me.

“Alright” I sighed. “I went to the kitchen to get some cold water” she listened. “And I heard something in Ron’s room” I stopped cause I don’t how to say it in a way that Kate wont judge Megan.

“You saw Ron fucking Megan” she laughed.

I was horrified. She knew? And they didn’t even do anything about it?

“You knew?” I asked.

I am really confused about everything. Kate nods.

“All along you knew? And you didn’t do anything about it?” I asked.

She shook her head and smirked.

“That’s not how it works here Jill; Megan isn’t the only one doing that. . .” she paused. “I do that and the rest of the girls here too” she admits.

She only made everything more confused for me. They all sleep with Ron? But why?

“I knew you are wondering why we do that, its part of our job, it’s what we do for a living and I am not expecting you to understand. I felt the same when I first started here, but eventually I got it and it’s not that bad” she said.

I shook my head; I can’t help not to feel frustrated about this whole thing.

“I don’t understand, I mean is he forcing you to do it?” I asked with the obvious frustration on my tone.

“No” she said calmly. “Ron never forced anyone of us, although he initiated the idea, we were doing it because we want to. You maybe think that Ron is a bad person but he isn’t, he maybe stiff and strict but he has a good heart. I can even remember the first time I got here. I ran away from home, my mom is a stoned woman who wants to sell me to work as a prostitute. I saw this place, I asked Ron if I can work with him and even though I had no experience, I was a dropped out junior high school student with nothing, no place, no money, as in nothing” I was able to relate to her. “Ron never hesitated to hire me; he gave me a job, a place, and a family. When I first knew it I felt disgusted too but eventually I was able to understand it. And now I am doing it like it is part of my life”

I don’t know how to say after hearing her story, even though she clearly said that Ron isn’t a bad person for me I still think that he is just like Dan. He is just as evil as Dan.

Kate told me everything that I wasn’t able to find slumber because I have been thinking about it.

Apparently, all the girls in the diner are all giving Ron extra service every night. They even have schedules. Sunday is Lana, Monday is Jane, Tuesday is Sally, Wednesday is Kate, Thursday is Alice, Friday is Megan and Saturday is Lauren but she left and I am her replacement. Now I get why everyone looks like they were all running for America’s Next Top Model. Kate said they were doing it because they want to. They consider Ron as a family. But there is no family that will do such thing. Kate said that Ron lost his wife and 2 kids in a car crash 4 years ago. He was lonely and mourning, a year later he opened the diner and Lana was his first waitress, she was his first “employee with Benefits” too. Kate told me a lot actually everything and one thing I know for sure I am not giving Ron anything more than what a normal waitress should do.

As much as I tried to act normal in front of everyone I can’t help myself not to feel awkward whenever I am around them, especially Ron. I feel conscious every time he gets close to me. I feel like any minute he is going to touch me. I don’t mean to judge them since I am not a virgin myself but at least I lost it because I was force to. Even after I heard their story I still didn’t understand why they do it, I don’t think it was about the money cause if that will be the case they could’ve just applied to Keith that pays way better than here. Based on what Kate told me, they were doing it out of pity. She even said that once a week of sex with Ron won’t hurt at all.

“Jillian! What are you doing there?” I almost jump from where I was standing when I heard the loud voice of Ron.

My mind got occupied by what I found out. I forgot that I was standing at the counter waiting for the customer’s order and apparently it has been served already and the customer is a bit frustrated. I immediately took the order and ran to the customer’s table. I apologized for keeping her waiting and she just smirked at me. I came back to the counter to get some refill when Ron walked towards me.

“What is wrong with you? Are you sick?” he snorted at me.

I shook my head right away. My heartbeat accelerated as he leaned close to me.

“Then do your job right” he yelled at me.

I looked down because people were staring at me. I walked towards the other customer’s table in embarrassment.

Despite of having a busy day the thought of the girls sleeping with Ron is still didn’t slip my mind, even a bit.

 

 

I went to bed early since I was alone; the girls went to the beach party hosted by one of the customer’s in the diner while Ron went out to play some poker. I am planning to do some reading or maybe some net surfing since Kate left her laptop with me.

I got to thinking of what I am going to do with my life. I am planning to save money, and I want to go back to school. I need to finish high school first in order for me to step in to college. I want to at least finish my studies, I don’t want to serve pan cakes forever and I don’t definitely want to sleep around just to earn money.

I am just hoping that Ron won’t do anything that will make me leave this place, cause as of the moment I don’t have enough money to get me some decent place to live.

I turned on Kate’s computer and went online, I typed in my old school’s website, I would like to get in touch with the guidance counselor or registrar’s office to request for my credentials to be sent to me. Since it is beyond office hours, no one is available to chat with, so I decided to just send an e-mail.

I checked on Google and Yahoo news before turning it off. I put it back to Kate’s cabinet before I rested my body in my bed. That day was a bit exhausting good thing we’re close tomorrow so I am planning to check the city to do some window shopping; I remember how Ron embarrassed me in front of many people earlier. But I felt a bit relieved because I don’t think Ron like me to be his Saturday dish.

I was awakened by the warm hand caressing my legs; I didn’t know how long I was asleep. The last thing I remembered, I was reading my Literature Book, the warm hand continues to caress my legs sending me shivers. I opened my eyes as the hand went in between my legs.

I was horror seeing Ron’s face smiling at me in desire. I immediately removed his hand but before I was able to sit up he went on top of me.

“No” I pushed him away

He smirked and he didn’t even move an inch. Well he is more or less 200 pounds while I don’t even know if I even weigh 40 kilos.

“It’s Saturday night, didn’t the girls tell you?” he teased.

I tried so hard to push him away but he is too heavy for me, and every time I get unsuccessful he gives me a familiar smirked that I used to know; Dan. A sudden anger washed over me. After all these years he is following me, he started to kiss me on my neck. I was able to run away from Dan and I will never ever let anyone else do this to me again. I am done letting people control and violate me. This is my life and I should be the one in control.

I glanced on the side table in between my bed and Kate’s bed and I saw the lamp shade over it. I tried so hard to reach for it. Tears are forming in my eyes but I kept them from falling I am not going to cry again.

When I successfully reach the lamp shade, I gave all energy I have and threw it on Ron’s head. He fell on the floor holding his head, I got up and held the lamp as tight as possible, and if he overcomes this pain for sure I’ll be dead, so I walked to him and slammed him the lamp over and over again.

Reality came back to me when blood started to flow from his head down to his face. He cried in pain as he laid on the floor and my heart beats fast when he is no longer moving. Is he dead? Did I kill him?

I loosen my grip on the lamp until it fell on the floor, the glass breaks on my feet but I was frozen from where I was standing.

If he is really dead then I might end up in jail. I need to get away from there before the girls come home. I ran to my cabinet, grabbed my back pack and filled it as many things as I can. I was running from as fast as I can, it was late and since the party on the beach is still on no one is actually roaming around the street. I don’t even know where I am going but I just need to be as far away as possible from that place. No one will help me. I am a stranger here, no one will help me except for one person; Nicole.

I was thankful that I still know how to find Keith’s club. I was thinking twice if I should ask for their help or not. For sure Keith hate me so much, I don’t even know if he was aware about my feud with Nicole. I am ashamed but I don’t have any choice, admit it or not I need them. 

I took a deep breath before opening the door I was still shaking for earlier incident when I walked inside; at the door I was gotten in the way by one big guy I think he is a bouncer or something. His skin is tan, he is wearing black fit shirt that has ‘security’ on it and black pants. He is creeping the hell out of me.

“No solicitation allowed here” he said in huge husky voice.

I tightly held the strap of my backpack for some support.

“I-I was looking for K-Keith” I hesitantly said.

He smirked like a dog. I have a huge feeling that he doesn’t believe me. Well, I can’t really blame him; I was wearing a pair of sesame street pajama that Kate lend me with flip flops and back pack. I was even sweating from running so fast. So I don’t really look like someone knows the owner of a huge strip club.

“I- I am not l-lying, I am looking for Keith, I really need to talk to him, it’s important” I was shaking.

This guy is really scaring me. His wrestler appearance can easily break all the bones in my body.

He shrugged his shoulders and took the walkie-talkie he has hanging on the waist.

“Someone is looking here for boss” he said on the radio.

I was surprised that he didn’t ask any more questions.

“Copy!”

He put the radio back on his waist and looked at me again.

“Wait here” he said

I nodded.

“Thanks!”

I stood there, slightly tapping my foot on the floor. I don’t even what to tell Keith. I don’t even know what his reaction will be. For sure he hates me, I just ran away I didn’t even talk to him.

Mr. Creepy/Wrestler guy stood in front of me too, watching my every move.

“Who is it t—”

I saw how surprised Keith was to see me; he looks so handsome wearing a khaki suit.

“Boss she said she knows you” creepy/wrestler guy said.

Keith nods.

“Yeah, you can go inside, I’ll take care of this here” he told the bouncer and he immediately disappeared.

Keith ran his gaze on me from head to toe and then shook his head.

“I had a feeling you are coming back” he comments

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Is Nicole there?” I asked.

He glanced inside.

“She is doing a show, what are you doing here?”

I remembered Ron’s bloody face and fear came to me again.

“I-I n-need, I need your help” I was about to cry again. “I t-think I killed someone”

 

 

 

Chapter Five

“And they say.... She's so lucky.... She's a star.... But she cries, cry, cry with her lonely heart thinking. . . . if there's nothing. . . . Missing in her life . . . . Then why do these tears come at night. . .”

I can't help myself not to sing on top of my lungs whenever I hear this song “Lucky” by Britney Spears. It makes me see a whole new sight in life. It makes me realized that somehow I am not the only unfortunate person in the world. People have their own problems, even the rich, the famous and those who we think have everything. All of us have our own missing piece in our hearts and it is up to us on how we will deal with it.

As for me, I can say that I am almost at the end of the tunnel and waiting for the light to come after my sight.

Six months later, I am still working with Keith, I am still a stripper but things are better now. I passed the acceleration exam and I am now a freshman student at the University of Florida taking up a degree in Psychology.

I was able to get a scholarship at the University and I am working as hard as I can to be able support my other expenses. Every night, whenever I am not doing a show, I am being taken out and I can say that I am getting used to this kind of work. I don’t feel disgusted anymore. I know I need this job to live.

“Hey Jillian!!!”

I was about to get out of the class when my classmate Justin called my name. He is taking up Architecture and he's my classmate on Psychology 101.

He's a good looking jock, he is the boy next door type, blonde, perfect toned body, smoking hot eyes, round sharp pointed nose and thin lips. He looks like Zac Efron.

He stays in the dorm like all other students, except for me. I still stay at the club since I still need to work at night. Keith lets me borrow his old car since he got a new one so I don't have to commute.

“Justin” I called him out.

I slowed down my pace so he can keep up.

“When is your next class?” he asked.

Then we started walking our way out of the room.

“Actually I am heading home.” I said.

It's already four in the afternoon and I badly need to go back. I still need to prepare for tonight's show.

“No class?” he asked again and I shook my head as an answer. “Perfect! I don’t have class either; you want to grab some coffee?”

Of course, people in our school don't know that I work as a stripper. And I don’t have any plans of broadcasting my job. For sure they won’t understand. I am thankful that students aren’t allowed in the club since it is only open for members who are mostly rich business men.

“Sorry but I really need to go home. I have a lot of things to do.” i declined.

“I see, maybe next time then?” he said sadly.

“Maybe”

Justin is a nice guy; he is in fact the only person who talked to me on our first day. As usual people think I am weird since I don’t talk a lot like before. But he and I aren’t happening, although I have to admit that I am a bit attracted to him, it was just like Max, although Max and I didn’t happen because of Dan and me leaving town, now Justin and I can never be together because of the nature of my work. Of course, no one wants a girlfriend who gets naked every night.

I walked to where I parked Keith's car. I am so glad he let me borrow it cause it's gonna be difficult for me to commute every day. I am happy that I was able to take the first step of my dream. Although, my course isn’t the one I really wanted, I still want to be a doctor but the course is not offered here.

After about almost an hour, I reached the club, Nicole is still sleeping like the usual. I went straight to my room to change for something comfy. Then I went to the kitchen to look for something to eat and as usual I saw nothing. Apparently, after six months Nicole doesn’t still know how to cook.

I want to cook something for dinner but I don’t have enough time so I decided to just take a bath and dress myself up for tonight. I also woke Nicole up so she won't be in a rush in dressing herself. Just another day for us in Florida, I guess.

 

 

“Someone is taking you out tonight”

I was in the dressing room fixing my makeup and changing my outfit when Keith popped up on the door.

“Okay. . .” I answered unsurely.

I was confused cause Keith and Nate agreed that whenever someone does the show she  is not allowed to be take out. That was their new policy three months ago.

“But I thought whenever I do the show I won’t be taking out?” I didn’t help myself not to ask.

Keith nods and put his hands on the pocket of his coat.

“Yeah, but there is a sudden change of plans, there is this guy who is very persistent to take you out. I told him you won’t be on duty but he doesn’t want to give up. He even paid me a huge amount of cash so I was left with no choice.” he said with excitement.

I wondered how big the money was that made Keith changed his mind. This man rarely break rules especially his'.

“I think you caught this man's eyes, he is so into you.”

Of course, he is into me. He wants to fuck me so he should be into me.

“Alright, I'll do it” I said.

“Good girl” he said then gave me a tap on the back.

When Keith left the room I immediately changed clothes into something more revealing. It's a silver shiny skin tight mini dress that you just have to pull it up and you'll see everything I have. I also paired it with my back beaded stilettos.

Jarred; one of the security personnel of the club met me while I was making my way back to the bar.

“Miss, the guy is waiting for you outside.” he told me.

I nod at him then tailed behind him as he lead the way out.

A black shiny and looks like a very expensive car was waiting for me outside the club. Jarred opened the door at the back seat and I immediately climbed in.

“Hi” a very manly voice greeted me as I tried to comfortably sit in.

It's so dark inside the car, that I am having a hard time seeing his face. I can see his silhouette but I cannot picture how he really looks like.

I cannot see the person on the driver seat because of the tinted glass, but I think that's his driver. Why am I feeling nervous about this? This isn’t the first time that I was taken out but why do I get some strange feelings towards this man that I can’t even explain. I never had this feeling before, though I can’t say I was comfortable with the man I was with before but at least with them I can picture how the night will end but with this man I am completely clueless.

“Jillian, right?” he asked. I tried to hide the uneasiness boiling inside me. “My name is Carter, nice to meet you.” he introduced his self and offered his hand.

“L-like-w-wise” I shook his hand, it was cold but soft that made me even more nervous than before.

There is something wrong about this man that I can't seem to figure out. I want to get off the car and just go back inside the club but it’s too late; the driver started the engine and drove away.

My heart is still beating so fast until the car stopped. I guess we already reached our destination. This man creeps me out cause aside from the fact the he never released my hand, he also didn’t say a thing.

“We're here sir” he said as he rolled the tinted glass down so we can hear him.

The car door opened and he was still holding my hand as he climbed out of the car, so I had no choice but to follow him.

I finally saw his face and I was stunned, he isn’t old like what I've expected. In fact he looks so young, maybe in his late twenties and he looks like a Greek god; green eyes, rosy cheeks, beautifully sculpture sharp pointed nose, thin lips and he looks so hot wearing his black suit, white buttoned down shirt inside, blue tie paired with black leather shoes.

The valet attendant was looking at us, offering his warmest smile to Carter but his curious eyes on me. Maybe, he was wondering who am I? Now I regret wearing this revealing dress, I should've just wore a simple dress not the one that yells “Hey I am stripper so I should wear a silver skin tight short dress”.

I still feel uncomfortable, trying to figure where I am when he pulled me inside the huge fancy full of lights building, is this a hotel? I think so. It is indeed a hotel, as we walked inside I saw a wide room painted all in white but the walls are changing with a touch of yellow because of the bright chandelier lighting the whole place, the floors are made of glass where you can see your own reflection, a huge front desk was found in the center of the room where there's a huge glass wall behind it, on the left side was a double door that I think leading to the restaurant or bar, when on the right side were the elevators.

We walked to the front desk with him still holding my hand. A beautiful-angel-like blonde girl greeted us and immediately gave her sweetest smile to him.

“Is everything ready Michelle?” he asked.

The attendant smiled and nodded. I wonder if he comes here often because it looks to me that the employees here knew him.

“Yes, Mr. Greene, the penthouse is waiting for you.” she answered.

Penthouse? Is he going to fuck me at the penthouse? Wow! Why is he spending so much money on me? Other men who previously took me out also brought me to fine and expensive hotels but never in a penthouse. There is really something strange about this guy that I still cannot seem to figure out.

He smiled at the attendant and he pulled me towards the elevator. We got on the elevator with his hand still on mine. I wonder why he won’t let go of my hand.

Thirty-six floors before the penthouse and I am getting dizzy. He still didn’t say anything, after introducing himself to me, he shook my hand didn’t let go of my hand and that's all.

I started to wonder what will happen later, is he just going to throw me on the bed or sleep with me right away? Cause I don’t think we will talk. God please help me. I prayed silently. I just want this day to end. Why did Keith hook me up with someone so weird?

Couple of minutes later we reach the penthouse. I took a deep breath. This is it, after tonight I can go home, take some rest and my life will go back to normal.

He led the way, the place was so nice, it was cozy, clean and the smell is very comforting. Everything is black and white. The couches, the tables, the chairs, the bed, it's either black or white. Very manly I supposed.

“Have a seat” he walked towards the couch.

He took his coat off and neatly folded it on the armrest of the couch. A sudden cold feeling embraced me. I think it’s because of the air conditioned unit. It makes me regret even more with the type of clothing I chose to wear tonight.

“You want anything to drink?” he asked as he walked to the bar.

“No, thank you” I shook my head.

All I want right now is to go straight to the reason why we're both here and get this over with. I just want to go home, have some good sleep and go to school tomorrow.

He came back in the living room with a glass of scotch on his hand. He sat beside me and put the glass down on the table.

“Did you know that you are so beautiful?” he said softly, his eyes meeting mine.

I know I am so red now. I can feel my cheeks getting so hot and I don’t know how I can avoid his gaze so I tried to look down. I feel so embarrassed; I am not in high school anymore I shouldn’t be affected when someone compliments me. I bit my lower lip; I don’t know what to do.

He held my chin and pulled my face to look at him his touch sends shiver to my spine.

“Please do not hide your beautiful face from me.” he smiled and I saw his beautiful set of white teeth. He looks so clean even at this time of the night.

I took a deep breath and I smelled his refreshing scent that somehow calms my nerves. But my heart beat is still as fast as a bullet. I don’t know what he is planning to do. Why don’t we just quit this whole thing and just go down to business? I am here to give him a good time? We don’t need to talk at all actually.

I don’t know what came into me but before I even realized it I was pulling his beautiful face towards me and kiss his lips. He immediately responded so I pulled him tighter, knotting my fingers against his hair. He is the first one who broke the kiss and we were both chasing our breaths.

“You driving me crazy, did you know that?” he said.

And before I was able to respond he pulled me towards him and his lips met mine again.

 

Tuesday afternoon when my class ended at exactly 2 PM, this is the day that I like the most because I can go home early but not today. Although, I feel so tired and exhausted already for working and going out almost every night, I still cannot go home since I have a lot of researching to do. I have this paper due on Monday and a report on Wednesday. As much as possible I want to finish everything today because this is the only free time I have.

I plan on grabbing some strong brewed coffee first to keep me awake all afternoon. My eyes are hurting already due to lack of sleep since I usually go home around 3 in the morning and I have to get up around 7 am because my class starts at 9 in morning.

I was on my way to Starbucks that was located inside the campus when a huge, bald, masculine guy came in front of me.

“Miss Jillian?” he asked trying to confirm if he got the right person.

I never met or saw this man but his voice sounded familiar but I cant seem to remember where I heard it.

“Yes?” I confirmed, though confused.

“My boss would like to have a word with you.” he said politely.

Boss? Who's boss? I am sure I never met this guy before. I am starting to get scared. But I am inside the campus premises so I know I am safe. This man might be big and he can break my whole being any second but I doubt he'll do that knowing there are a lot of students walking around.

“Who is your boss? I think you got the wrong ---”

“I'm sorry Miss Jillian, I am not allowed to tell you who my boss is.” he answered not letting me finish my question.

I shook my head.

“Then, I'm sorry I am not going anywhere with you unless you told me who your boss is.”

I am not an idiot. I don’t even know this guy or his boss so there is no way in hell that I am going with them.

“I'm sorry Miss but-----”

“I'm sorry too.”

It was my turn to cut him off, and then his phone rang when he answered so I took the opportunity to leave him there and walked towards the coffee shop. I didn’t bother listening to his conversation on the phone either.

“Miss” he called again.

I was just a few feet away from him so he was able to easily keep up my pace and block my way.

“My boss wants to have a word with you.” he said and he handed me his phone.

I am starting to get pissed at this man. I don’t care if he looks like incredible hulk but he is really getting into my nerves. I took the cell phone from his hand with the obvious irritation on my face.

“Jillian, how are you?”

I froze; it’s been a week since I last heard that beautiful-very manly voice. I never expected that I'll hear from him again. After we spend the night together and had sex for so many time that I lost count on I woke at his bed without him on my side. It’s not that I expected him to be there or something, actually I shouldn’t spent the night there in the first place but all was left for me was a handful of money and a note on the nightstand saying:

Jillian,

It was a great night. I'm sorry I have to catch an early flight but please feel make yourself comfortable. I'll see you soon.

Carter

Then a couple of minutes later, a cart of food was delivered to the penthouse and after I was done fixing myself a car was waiting for me outside the hotel. I never expected anything from him. I even disregarded his note saying he'll see me soon. Cause it’s not how usually it works.

“Jillian? Are you still there?” Carter asked.

I got occupied by my thoughts again that I almost forgot that he's still on the other line.

“Yeah, I'm here.” I said not really sure what should I feel.

Though, I admit that for the first time since I started working as a full time stripper that was the nicest and the gentlest sex I ever had with a man. I felt like I wasn’t doing it because I had but because I want to. He took care of me and I'd appreciate it so much.

“Can I have some of your time? I want to speak with you in person.” he asked.

I'm not sure what he wants from me. If he wants to take me out again he needs to go to the club besides I am not on duty yet. Is he thinking he can take me out anytime he wants?

“Can you meet me in my car?”

I looked around trying to look for his car but I didn’t find it. I don’t know if I should go with him and do what he asked but I'd rather not to. We slept together because it’s what I do and it doesn’t mean I know him or I trust him.

“I will talk to you but not in your car. If you want we can talk inside the coffee shop.” I suggested.

I still need to prioritize my safety, Keith knew I was with him the night he took me out but now everyone knows I'm at school.

“I'd rather talk to you inside my car or maybe in my penthouse but the coffee shop will do.” he replied.

“I'll meet you there then.” I said and was about to hand the phone back to his bodyguard.

“Please let Marcus tail behind you.”

I didn’t understand why I should need to have this guy walk me to the coffee shop but I agreed anyway. I just want to hear what he will say and continue with my agenda; finish my reports.

Carter is already inside Starbucks when I walked in. I wonder where he was earlier and how he was able to get here so fast. He was sitting on the chair near the window. I think he was trying not to catch any attention. As usual, he looks like a Greek god wearing his usual suit and tie but I noticed his hair was comb in a nice mess that suits him and made him look a little younger.

I walked towards his direction and sat on the chair opposite his. Marcus stood there behind him not saying anything at all. Just standing there like a military statue. I wonder if that's how he directed him or Marcus intentionally did that to himself but regardless Marcus presence creeps the hell out of me.

“Hey” he greeted me with his Greek god smile.

I gave him a slight smile. I feel so under dress cause I was wearing my usual faded jeans, my sweatshirt, converse and of course my back pack and I didn’t even bother combing my hair I just tied it in a messy bun. I know I look the exact opposite of a stripper.

“Coffee?” he offered.

I nod. It's the main reason why I am here in the first place. I was about to stand and fall in line when he waived his hand gesturing me to sit down. So I did. Then without Carter saying anything, Marcus just walked in the counter and ordered us the coffee.

“Is he always like that?” I asked cannot stop myself from bursting my curiosity towards his guard.

Carter smiled.

“Like what? Obedient?” I nod. “Yes, they all came from the army so it’s natural for them to be a bit stiff and strict.” he explained.

They? Does that mean he has a lot of body guards? I have seen two of them. The driver and Marcus. Now, I wonder what this guy really does that he needs a bunch of body guards to protect him. Is he running a casino or something? Maybe another club?

“So what it is that you want to speak with me about?” I asked.

I am kind of a bit brave now knowing I am in a crowded place. Admit it or not, I am curious on what he is going to say to me.

Instead of answering, he gave me another Greek god smile, this one showed his super bright beautiful white teeth. Marcus came back after a couple of minutes with two venti coffees in hand. Then he walked out of the shop and I saw him stood still near the door. I think Carter said something to him.

“Alright, I'm sorry about Marcus. I know he makes you uneasy.” he said as he sips on his coffee.

I hold the cup but haven’t tasted it yet.

“You saw my note, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I did” I replied then sip on my coffee.

I felt a sudden satisfaction as the bitter taste of coffee and sweet taste of sugar came down on my throat.

I looked at him and he was watching me intently and do I see amusement on his face?

“You never left me any contact number.”

What? Contact number? Why should I? Do I need to? This man never fails to make me curious and intrigue about him every time we cross paths.

“I didn’t know you want to hear from me again.” I said.

“Of course I do, you still not aware how much you drive me crazy right?”

He was looking at me straight in the eye and cannot meet his gaze so I look down again playing the lid of my cup.

“You never left my mind from the very first day I saw you, you were very pissed when your car broke down and you have no idea how to change a tire. You were so beautiful that day.”

I was mortified. How did he know my car broke down? That was just a month or so ago. It was the first day of school and I was on my way home when Keith's car broke down and I had no idea on what to do. I just started driving, Nicole taught me and that was my first time to drive around on my own. That was a very unlucky day for me.

“You wonder how I knew?” he asked.

He's sitting there, his back resting on the chair, staring at me with so much amusement in his eyes.

“I was driving around town when I saw you trying to fix your tire. I wanted to get off my car and help you but so I was star struck with you. You were just so beautiful that I can't stop myself from staring at you and watch you. Since then, you never left my mind, you were in my dreams every night and I don’t even know why? Until the day that I couldn’t take it any longer, I knew I needed to see you, I needed to find you, so I hired a secret agent, and you really gave him a hard time though. It took him weeks before he finally found you working with Keith Stevens. I didn’t expect that you're working in a club so it took me sometime to finally have the guts to meet and that was the night I took you out.”

I didn’t know what to say, first he knew everything about me, second he hired a person to investigate and spy on me and third it took him sometime if he wants to talk to me because he was disgusted about me.

He sips on his coffee.

“I am glad that you are continuing your studies. So I have this proposal.” he blurted out.

Proposal? What he just told hasn’t sunk on me yet and now he has a proposal? What does he really want? I can’t find the words to say cause I really don’t know what I should say or what am I supposed to say.

“I want you to come with me in L.A.”

LA? As in Los Angeles, California? Is he serious? What am I going to do in LA? Is he going to take me to another strip club in LA? Wait, why am I even considering the idea? Of course I won’t go to LA, I have settled my life here already and I don’t even know him.

 “What?” that’s all I was able to say.

He rested his hands on the table.

“You might be thinking I am insane and maybe I am. I am insanely crazy about you, I don’t want any other guy to have you, and it kills me to even think about that. So I want to take you with me. Live with me, you can continue your studies in LA, you don’t have to work anymore. I can pay Keith any amount he wants to let you go.” he said with so much sincerity that he actually meant every word he said.

Earlier, I kept on asking what he is doing to me. But now I realized that the right question is what I did to him so he could think things that are insanely impossible.

“I know you don’t know me, I am not rushing you. Just think about my offer but let me buy your nights because I could no longer take the thought of you being with someone else's hand. Let me show you my world.”

I shook my head. No. I won’t consider anything from him. I don’t even know him. He’s just a guy who I slept with one time and that’s it. I am not going anywhere with him.

“I’m sorry but my answer is no.” I said hardly.

He reached for my hand, I tried to pull it from him but he was holding it tightly.

“Please, try to consider my offer. I’ll give you anything you want Jillian, just give me a chance.” He pleads

I can see the pain deep within his beautiful green eyes. I don’t know but it seems like he meant everything he said. Like it really kills him knowing I can be with different guys every night. I looked down, I don’t want to meet his gaze, and I don’t want those eyes to change what I have already decided.

“No. I’m sorry.” Then I took my hand back, put the backpack on my shoulders and made my way out of the shop.

I even heard him called my name but I didn’t bother looking back at him maybe because I don’t want to see his pleading face that will make me change my mind.

 

 

Right after my conversation with Carter I decided to just go home instead of going to the library and do some research. I know what he told me will not leave my mind at all, and I was right. Throughout the entire time I was driving my way back to club his words kept popping on my mind, like I actually hear them.

Nicole was in the living room watching TV when I came inside the house.

“Hey.” I greeted her trying to be as cheerful as possible.

She smiled at me.

“You’re early” she said her eyes still on the TV.

I glanced on the clock hanging on the wall and it’s just 3:30 in the afternoon. I am indeed early because I normally go home around 5 PM just an hour before the club briefing starts.

“My class ended early.” I answered. “I’ll just take a nap, okay?”

She nods. Then I went to my room. I change to something comfy and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I lied on my bed trying to get some sleep or at least rest my mind but I can’t find my slumber. Carter’s words keeps on replaying on my mind. I don’t understand what he saw in me that made him wants to take me to Los Angeles. As far as I know there nothing special about me, I am just a simple girl, maybe I became extra ordinary because of what I’ve been through but shouldn’t he be disgusted about me? I mean a lot of men had come my way. I’ve slept with a bunch of guys. I am being paid to do it. I was able to support my schooling from stripping and getting fucked. Maybe he has lost his mind completely.

 

 

It’s exactly five in the afternoon when I woke up. I didn’t know how long I was asleep but it felt like I didn’t sleep at all. I got up to get some water from the fridge and I saw Nicole applying makeup on her face. She was done showering and already dressing herself up.

“Hey sleepy head” she yelled as I passed by her room.

“Hey” I replied.

I took a glass from the cupboard and poured some water in it.

“Tired much?” I heard her asked from her room.

“Yeah, exhausted!” I answered.

She went to the kitchen wearing her red pair of underwear and a towel in her hair.

“I think you’re over doing it, you’ve lost a lot of weight.” she said with so much concern in her eyes as she continues to apply some color on her cheeks.

I ran my fingers on my hair. That’s true I may have been overdoing it, working at the same schooling but I don’t have any choice. I need this job to support my studies and that’s all that matters to me. I don’t care if I get sick with my situation but all I want is to have a better life. A life that I can be proud of. A life where I can be a normal person. The life that I’ve been dying to have since Dan took everything from me.

“Don’t worry about me Nic, I am fine. I just need to get some sleep but everything is good about me.” I assured her.

“If you say so, then I’ll keep my mouth shut” she said.

I sighed, I remembered Carter again and what he told me today. I don’t know if I should tell Nicole about it. She might I’m crazy or he’s crazy. I don’t know if I should take it seriously or not but I wonder what Carter gets if he’s just playing with me?

“Everything all right?” she asked, maybe noticing the uneasiness on my face.

I nod then I shook my head.

“I want to tell you something because I am really confused right now.  I don’t know what to do.” I told her trying my best to explain how I really feel about this whole situation.

She went towards me and held my hands.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” she asked with concern tone.

We sat on the bar stool. She was still my hand as I told her about Carter. I told her everything from the night he took me out and I spend the whole evening in his place. The money and note he left me, the conversation we had earlier in the campus, everything.

“Wow!” she said. “Honestly, I don’t know what to say. He was basically buying you from Keith.” She added.

That made me more confused.

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, I should be scared right? Cause who’s in the right state of mind will offer me something like that. It’s ridiculous! And what making it worse is that I am actually entertaining the idea like I believe him or something.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know what the right words to say are but I have this feeling that he is dead serious. I feel like he really likes you and is willing to give you everything. Actually, it doesn’t really matter if he was serious or not cause the question here is, are you going with him in California?”

I opened my mouth to answer her but nothing came out. I feel like there’s a lump in my throat that blocks my voice. Or in reality I just don’t know how answer her. I told Carter no, but why do I feel like I lied to him that my answer isn’t really no? But it isn’t a yes either. I feel completely lost about this whole thing. I never expected anything like this to come in my way. Since I left St. Louis, my plan was certain; to have a better life and that was what I have been doing until the day I met Carter Greene.

“No!” I said strongly trying sound as sure as possible. “I am not going anywhere with him.”

Nicole nodded and went back to her. I wasn’t sure if she believed me because honestly speaking I am having a hard time believing myself either. I’ll just need to take him out of my head and go on with my life.

 

At exactly six PM Annie was calling everyone for the night club briefing. The bar was already full when Nicole and I arrived. There are a total of thirty girls from twenty two states working with Keith. From time to time Keith and Nate travel around to recruit more girls. Last month they went to Colorado and recruited one girl, I forgot her name but she was a tall brunette who has a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

“Jillian, Keith is looking for you. Please go to his office.” Annie said once she laid eyes on me.

I was wondering what Keith wants, he rarely calls someone in the middle of the nightly briefing unless you broke one of his rules. Instead of asking Annie I just made my way to Keith’s office. There I found him sitting on his desk wearing his usual buttoned down shirt and jeans.

“Annie said you want to see me?” I asked as I peaked on the door.

“Yeah, please come in.” he answered and gestured me to take the chair in front of his desk.

I sat on the chair.

“Jillian, I don’t know if you are aware about this but do you still remember Carter Greene?” he asked.

When I was walking my way to Keith’s office I had this idea that Carter might be reason why I am being called to his office. But I tried so hard to make myself believe that Carter is just fooling with me, cause I think that makes it so much easier.

“Yes.” I answered.

I want to hear what he will say to me first before I tell him my meeting with Carter earlier at the campus.

“Well, I am not sure how the hell am I going to explain this but this guy is offering me a huge amount of money in exchange of letting you go.”

I wasn’t surprise anymore and I don’t even know why. I felt like I’ve already expected this.

“What did you tell him?” I asked.

He sighed; I can clearly see his confusion about this whole matter.

“I don’t know. I am not even sure if this is real or what cause I’ve never encountered any of this before. He practically wants to buy your contract.”

When I came back to Keith and finally agreed to work with him I signed this contract that lasts for a year. After a year, I have a choice if I want to stay and renew the contract or I can just leave. From the time I started going back to school I had no plans of leaving the club, maybe not after four years or so.

“I think he’s crazy. I don’t understand his game. He offered me so much money or a new club. That guy is just so fucking rich and he is willing to spend every dime on you.” He said shaking his head. “Tell me Jillian what did you do to this guy?”

I shook my head. I don’t know. I’ve been asking that same question ever since I walked to that coffee shop and found him sitting on the corner looking like a Greek god.

“I don’t have any fucking idea what I will do about this whole situation, Jillian. Maybe, I’ll discuss this with Nate first but for the mean time fix yourself up cause he’s waiting for you outside.”

He’s outside? I kind of figured that out. I knew Keith wants me to continue seeing him while he decides on what to do. Well, I guess the final say will be Keith’s after all. He’s the one who owns me since I am under contract with him.

I just nod. I didn’t say anything at all. I felt like my word won’t even count so I’d just what I am told.

I left Keith’s office and went straight to the dressing room. I want to change to something more respectful looking dress. I was wearing a sky blue short halter dress that shows half of my breast. I’ve learned my lessons; he might be taking me to that same hotel again so I don’t want to get those same wondering eyes of the attendants there. I know I am a stripper but I don’t think there’s a need to shout it out to the world.

The dressing room has a bunch of clothes that can be worn by anyone. These dresses are mostly the skin tight short ones. Sleeveless, strapless, short dresses, cleavage flaunting dresses, anything that will make you look as slutty as possible but in a sexy way. The club is not just the ordinary club. We rarely wear 2 pieces underwear unless you’re doing a show. Most of the time we wear dresses like the ones in the dressing room. Keith wants to his club to look more of a decent club.

All the dresses that I found were just the same as the one I am already wearing. I looked further and I found a navy blue long sleeve short dress, I wonder who put a long sleeve dress here, though it’s short its still do not belong to the dresses we usually have in here. Without anymore hesitation, I put the dress on and I was surprised how it fits perfectly on me. I am wearing my beige platform pumps that I think just perfectly paired with the dress. I kind of became a fashion conscious ever since I came back with Nicole. Earlier, I tied my hair up but I think it will go better if I just put it down and let my blonde locks be swayed by the wind outside. I also decrease my make up so all in all I look pretty simple. Not slutty but elegant just the way I want it to be.

The bar is still empty when I went out of the dressing room. I think the nightly briefing is still ongoing. Jarred as always just popped in front of me wearing his black tight shirt and black jeans.

“Miss, Mr. Greene is waiting for you outside.” He said bluntly as he looked at me from head to toe. Maybe he was wondering why I looked different.

I nodded at him. Then he accompanied me to the club exit. There I found the car I learned to familiarize with. Like before Jarred opened the door and gesture me to get in. I did. There I found him, wearing a white buttoned down long sleeved shirt he neatly folded up to his elbow and jeans. I smelled his usual scent of body wash and cologne. The car isn’t as dark as before, in fact there was a dim that surrounded the inside of the car.

“Good evening Jillian.” He greeted me, as usual smiling.

I gave him a slight smile as a reply. I also noticed the tinted glass window still up so I guess the driver cannot see us.

My body shook as he reaches my hand. Once again, I felt his warm and soft hands on me.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered as he puts my hand on his lip and slightly kissed it.

I feel nervous as usual but not scared though my heart is beating so fast but not in a bad way. The car started and drove away. Like before he never let go of my hand until the car stopped for its destination.

“We’re here.” He whispered again but this time on my ear.

I shrugged as I felt his cold breath on my neck.  His every move sends me shiver down my spine. The car door opened and Carter get off. He slightly pulled my hand and I carefully get myself off the vehicle. I saw Marcus closed the car door and stood still near the car. I expected to see the hotel entrance where he took me the last time but I was wrong, we are in front of an Italian restaurant. Quattro GastronomiaItaliana is the name of the place. Carter let go of my hand and put his at the small of my back. As we walked inside the place we were greeted politely by a bald guy wearing a white long sleeve buttoned down shirt, a black pants and vest, a bow tie and shiny black leather shoes.

The inside of the hotel is just cozy, dim light, tables for four, for two, and for a big group of people. Tables are covered with clean white cloth with scented beautiful flower arrangements and scented white candles. By the looks of the people there I can sense that this place is very expensive. Everyone seems to wear their most elegant clothes from their closet. I was thankful that I changed my dress and lessen my make up cause most of the people there are old couples and business men and women.

“Table for two Mr. and Mrs.?” The waiter asked.

“Mr. and Mrs. Greene” he answered.

“This way Mr. and Mrs. Greene”

The waiter walked first and we tailed behind him, Carter pulled me closer to him.

“You look ravishing tonight” he whispered to my ear. “Help me God if I can control myself until after we finish our dinner.” He added though I wasn’t sure I was the one he’s talking to about that.

The waiter brought us to a table near the wine racks. I think he felt that Carter wants some privacy like always. The waiter pulled a chair and Carter carefully sat me on it and then he sat on the chair opposite mine.

“I’ll be back with the menu sir.” Then the waiter walked away from us.

Carter rested his back on the door while I sat still trying to stop myself from fidgeting. I’ve never been to this place and any place that looks like this. Way back home I’ve never been to any diner since the places that I was only allowed to are school and house.

“Do I still make you nervous?” he asked, smiling.

I shook my head.

“No. I just never have been to this kind of place before.” I answered telling him the truth.

He smiled.

“If you come with me in LA, you can go to anywhere you want.”

I wonder why he remains relax about this whole thing. It seems to him that we’re just having casual conversation when what he is asking me to do is move in with him in a completely different place with a complete stranger I know nothing about aside from his name.

“Why?” I took all my courage to ask that one question word that has been circling inside my head since earlier.

He smiled. Now I am getting irritated with his angel-like-Greek god smile, if he smiled at me another time I’m going to smack him real hard. The waited came back with two books covered with hard leather on his hands. He put one down on me and the other on Carter. He also pours some red wine on the glasses one on my side and the other Carter’s.

“My name is Lucas and I’ll be your server tonight.” He introduced himself. “I’ll give you some time and to choose and I’ll be back to get your orders.” The he walked away from us again.

Carter opened the menu and read something on it. I didn’t touch mine cause I want to hear his answer first; besides, I don’t think I’m going to even understand what was written there. For sure it’s Italian.

“Do you want me to order for you?” he asked staring at me intently.

I nodded.

“But I’ll appreciate if you answer me first.” I strongly said.

“I will while we’re waiting for our food to be served.”

Carter waived his hand and Lucas came back with the polite smile that doesn’t leave his face. He ordered an Arugula Salad with grilled peaches, shaved Parmigiano cheese and Prosciutto San Daniele, Taleggio Cheese with a Bruschetta of candied hazelnuts and orange blossom honey for appetizers while he ordered a Grass Fed Tenderloin with Roasted Red Pepper Sauce and Grilled Chicken Breast with Roasted Vegetables and Yogurt Recipe for main course. He hasn’t ordered anything for dessert yet but I think what he had ordered was already too much for just a simple dinner. Lucas urgently took the order and went back to the kitchen.

I looked at Carter with a blank expression. I am trying to make him understand that I am still waiting for his answer. But he met my gaze and it felt like the last man standing. I was the one to look down first. I’ll never win the gazing contest if Carter is my opponent.

“As always you never fail to amuse me.” He said smiling again.

I stared at him with daggers.

“I am not here to play games with you Mr. Greene. All I want is your answer not your Shakespeare statements.” I told him with my brow raise.

He smiled again. I really want to smack him.

“And please stop smiling at me, it makes you look like a freaking’ faggot.” I blurted out without even thinking it first.

His face turned blank and serious. Was he offended? Is he mad at me?

“My answer is simple. I like you. I want you. So I would like to take you with me . . . in California” he said and sips on his wine.

My glass remained untouched; I don’t know how to react appropriately from what he just said. Now, I regret asking the question cause it only confirmed that he wasn’t fooling around with me, in fact he sounded very certain with what he just told me.

Our food was served and we ate in silence. He didn’t say anything to me and I did the same. To be honest, I really don’t know what to tell him. I was still awe about everything. I still can’t believe that he feels that towards me. I don’t even know why I did to him.

Despite of the quiet ambiance with a bit of tension between us I was still able to enjoy the delicious food. I never imagined that chicken can be delicious. After our meal, Carter asked for the check, handed Lucas his card to pay then we were back inside the car.  He still didn’t say anything. I wonder if I made him mad. If that was the case then maybe he’ll get turn off about me and change his mind.

“Here”

We were sitting on his car going to a place I don’t have any idea about when he handed me a white envelope. I cocked my brow as I took it from him.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Open it.”

So I did, I opened the envelope and it was a magazine that came after my sight, it’s the issue of California Business Magazine that won’t be released not until the next three months. He was on the cover wearing his usual suit and tie and his Greek-god smile under him feet is the title “Bachelor of Business”. His biography is written on it. Everything, as in everything, from his personal information, the school he attended, a bit of information his family and mostly about his work. I found out that he is the CEO of a multi-million dollar real estate company that’s based in Los Angeles. He has more than a hundred hotels, condominiums and golf courses all over US and had already expanded it to Asia and still expanding in Europe. He also owns the hotel he brought me in at Lincoln Road, no wonder he was given the penthouse and was treated overly-nice by the attendants.

“Why are you giving me this?” I asked, still not understanding him.

“I want you to get to know me” he replied calmly. “I know you don’t trust me because you don’t know me. So I decided to do that interview they’ve been begging me for years, that’s my own copy I’m giving to you.”

I still didn’t understand. Why on earth did he exert so much effort being a cover of a local magazine as his way to introducing his self to me? Does he really like me so much? But why? What did he see in me? I am just a townie from St. Louis. I grew up being molested by my step father. I ran away from home, went to a different state with basically nothing and I strip to earn money for a living.

Carter brought me again to his penthouse where I spent another night, I slept in his arms, and he didn’t touch me that night. He just wrapped his arms around me hoping that I’ll change my mind.

Every night he takes me out. Showing me what his world looks like. Taking me to places I’ve never been before and making me remember of how being protected feels like. I don’t know but it seems like I am starting to get used to the life with Carter Greene. 

Chapter Six

"I am going to miss you."

I saw the pain in Nicole's eyes as I heard what she said. We are sitting in a small coffee shop inside the mall after walking for hours looking for a nice pair of flops. I am leaving tomorrow for Los Angeles. Yep, I am going with Carter to California. After a couple of weeks getting to know him and after Nicole used all his convincing powers I have decided to accept his offer. He is a nice person and he really does like me, a lot. Nicole said that Carter is the luck that I've been waiting for. She also said that Carter is good looking rich hot business man so it's a win-win situation. I can stop working as a stripper and at the same time I can just focus on my studies.

I stopped working since last week because Carter paid Keith to void my contract. I don't know how much money he gave Keith but I know it's more than what it should be. Nicole took the day off to spend time with me so here we are at the mall, spending as much time while we still can.

"You're leaving tomorrow and it still can't believe it. It hasn't sunk on me yet that you are finally going to California." She said with hurt on her tone.

Actually, it hasn't sunk on me too that I am already leaving tomorrow. Since the day that I gave Carter my yes I tried to spend as much time as possible with Nicole but it seems like it's still not enough. I feel like I am losing the other half of my body knowing that I'll wake up each morning without me seeing her messy hair. I'll miss so her so fucking much. I'll miss those times we had shared, the times we argue about simple things, the times when we laughed our asses out because of a TV commercial, the times when she taught me how to drive and the times she showed me how to be strong when things gets tough.

My thoughts we're taken away when I heard her sobbed.

"I feel like an idiot here." She said as she wiped her tears. "I mean, I am the one who pushed you to go with him and now I am crying like a child." Her tears continue to flow on her face.

I stood up and went to her. I hugged her so tight. I don't know what to tell her. It breaks my heart to know that I am not going to see her anymore. I know that Carter promised me that I can still visit her whenever I want but it hurts to know that she won't by my side as often as before.

"I'll keep in touch. I promise."

"You really should cause if not I'll fly to LA and kick your ass."

I smiled. I am not sure what is waiting for me in Los Angeles. I know Carter promised to protect and keep me safe at all times but I know it's not going to be the same anymore. Nicole became my family since I left home. We've been together for 8 months max and we've shared so many things from good to bad.

Nicole isn't a huge fan of chick flicks so we decided to drop the sad thoughts and just enjoy the day. We ate at a pizza parlor and shopped for another hour or two. Around six o'clock when we reach the house. We're both exhausted so we agreed to take a nap. Some of my things are already packed but I still have some things to take care of. Two days ago Carter flew back to California for a business convention and promised to pick me up at the airport. I lied on my bed with my face on the ceiling. For the past 8 months this has been my home. Whenever I have the time, I go to the mall and bought some decorations for the house. I was able to buy a couple of paintings that hangs on the living room and personalize mugs for me and Nicole. As much as possible I kept the house clean, I considered this the home that I've never had in St. Louis. This home witnessed how I came from being the weak and lost girl from St. Louis to the strong and wise girl in Miami Beach. Now I am completely leaving this place I once called my home. I am getting the same feeling I had when I left Missouri. The only difference is before I was afraid that Dan might find me but now I am afraid of the life I am going to have with Carter.

I was lost in my thoughts when Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars surrounded my room. I glanced at the screen of my phone, yep I own a one now and it is from Carter. As I expected it was his name that registered on the screen.

"Hey. . ." he greeted me, I don't see him but I can clearly sense he is wearing his Greek-god smile again. 

"Hey" I replied trying to be cheerful as much possible.

I sat on the bed Buddha style while I kept the phone on my ear.

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow." He said sweetly.

I felt the need to reply to him, though I am not sure what to say.

"Me too." I replied almost a whisper.

I'm still not used to this. My relationship with Carter is not clear at all. We didn't talk about it, though for the span of time that he was here I've spent my nights in his penthouse.

 "How's your day?" he asked.

I told him about how I spent my day with Nicole while he told me that Elena; his secretary was able to take care of my transfer to UCLA but she hasn't picked my schedule yet because Carter wants me to do it myself. I decided to continue my course, although Carter offered me to take medicine but I don't want to start over again. Besides, he will practically pay for everything and I don't want to be a burden. I am planning on getting a part time job there after school so that I don't have to get everything from him. We talked for another hour or two. He told me about the company he is expanding in Paris and the hotel he is building there. He keeps on telling me he misses me and can't wait to see me tomorrow. We said our goodbye when the clock hits nine PM. It was only six in the evening on his end and he is going to take dinner. As I hang up the phone, I packed the remaining things I have left. I smiled when I remember the only thing I own when I first got here was my black backpack and a couple of clothes. Now, I was even obligated to buy a new luggage and folded my clothes in the smallest fold I can do so I can squeezed everything in. I took a bath after making sure I have everything packed and then settled myself on the bed. My flight is not until ten AM tomorrow. Nate offered to drive me to the airport since Keith has a business meeting and Nicole will be working the night after.

I woke up at six in the morning. I wasn't able to sleep well, I don't know but I was anxious all night. Nicole is still asleep, so I'll be cooking breakfast first before waking her up. I want us to eat breakfast together for the last time. Yesterday, after we were done shopping for clothes and shoes I forced to come with to shop for other house supplies mainly food. Now, that I am leaving her alone I want to make sure that she is eating properly. I made sure her fridge is full. I made some bacon, omelet and pancakes; her favorite. It's only six thirty and Nate will not be here until seven thirty. Anyway it will only take twenty minutes travel time from here to MIA.

I knocked on Nicole's door after a set the table. She came out of her room with her usual messy hair and PJ's.

"Morning LA girl" she greeted me.

She went to the sink and washed her face.

"Wow breakfast." She said with amusement.

"Fix yourself up and let's have breakfast." I told her as I pour coffee on our mugs.

"Okay. . ."

She walked back to her room, when she came back she was still wearing her PJ's but auburn locks are now properly comb. We sat on the chair and started eating our meal. We both ate a lot. We talked about the things we shared, trying to avoid the topic of me leaving today. After we ate, she offered to do the dishes while I take a shower. As I was about to finished dressing myself up when Nate knocked on my door. The moment Nate stepped in our house Nicole broke down to tears. She sobbed loudly that I didn't help myself not to cry with her. She told me that she's been trying to be strong about this whole thing because I know I will be in a good place but she can't help not to get hurt and feel sad now that I am finally leaving. Nate and I hugged her so tight. Like what I told her yesterday I promised to get in touch and visit her every once in a while. She was able to compose herself while Nate loaded his trunk with my things. She offered to come with me but I'd rather not cause I don't want to inconvenience her. She still has to work tonight. Before I get inside Nate's car, Nicole once again cried on my shoulders. Seeing her like that tears my heart into pieces. This is the first time that I see her very vulnerable and I didn't expect I'll have that effect on her. 

We said our goodbye s and for the last time she hugged me so tight.

"Well, that was hard." Nate said as we were driving away.

I wiped the tears on my face.

"Yeah, I hate leaving her. She is the only one I have when times were tough for me. She rescued me so many times." I said as I cherish the days I spent with Nicole.

She is my best friend, my protector, my home.

"I know. By the way Keith sends his goodbye. He really would like to come with me but we have this urgent business proposal." He explained.

"That's fine." I said.

I've said everything I have to tell Keith when he talked to me after Carter bought my contract. He said that it saddens him to see me leave. He told me a lot of things how I evolve from being rebellious to obedient. He also said that I was an asset for his club and that it will be hard for him to find a replacement.

Nate drove in silence while I sat still on his side.

"Did you know that I liked you?"

I was stunned. He liked me? I never saw that coming. I mean, I talked to him only a couple of times since he wasn't always at the club. He manages the other club they own in Orlando, it's a much smaller than the one they have in Miami Beach.

I shook my head.

"I had a crush on you when I first saw you and Nicole." He said shyly.

I smiled when I saw his cheeks flush.

"I had no idea." I said, though I remember him slightly squeezing my hand when we were introduced by Keith.

"I wasn't allowed to tell you, though Keith knew I'd just kept it with me besides you work for the club and you know how strict Keith with dating employees."

"Of course." I said.

I don't know why he is telling me this now. Is it because of I am leaving and I am no longer working in the club? But I thank god he didn't tell me this before, not that I was expecting him to pursue me or what but I know it will be awkward whenever we're around each other. Nate is good looking, the boy next door type but not my type; although I am not sure I have a type. I think of him as my brother or my guy friend.

We reached the airport at exactly eight. We were stuck in the traffic at 5th St. and A1A S/MacArthur Causeway.

"So, I think this is goodbye?" he said sadly.

I nodded.

"Thanks for everything Nate. I owe you and Keith a lot."

"No problem. If you need us we're just a phone call away okay?"

I nod. The he reached for my hand and pulled me into a hug. I embraced him too and then I walked inside the airport.  I took a deep breath as I looked around the place that I once called home. I smiled because for the second time in a year I am running away again. I really hope California is my last stop.

 

Carter booked me for a first class flight. It's my first time on a place so Carter tried to have this same flight but he needed to go back to California ASAP. The plane is so big, the carpeted floor is clean and the chairs are huge that it can even be adjusted and turn it to bed. Carter said the flight is only for more than five hours so I should reach LA by four in the afternoon.

The entire time that I was only plane I stayed uneasy. I was so nervous and the thought of the plane might crash any second didn't slip my mind. It was past four-thirty when the plane landed to LAX, after I gathered my things I made my way out of the airport. Outside the airport, I saw Marcus holding a cardboard with my name on it. I waived my hand at him and he waived back. I wonder where Carter is, he promised me last night that he'll pick me up here. Maybe, he was in the car.

Marcus took my luggage and I followed him toward at the parking area. He opened the door of the car, Jim, the driver on his place but I didn't find Carter when I peaked in.

"He apologized for not being able to pick you up Miss. He was caught on an emergency meeting." Marcus said as I get in. It seems like he was able to read my mind.

I nod and sat myself still on the car. Jim drove away and I patiently wait for us to reach our destination I entertained myself through the fancy houses we passed by. Beverly Hills is indeed an expensive place to live. A couple of minutes later the car stopped. Marcus opened the door and I get off the car.  We are inside a huge and look like an expensive vintage garage. There were four other shiny expensive cars parked in there aside from the one I just get off from. I wonder if Carter uses all these cars. Marcus asked me to follow him as he walked out of the garage. There is a wide but short pathway going to the entrance of the house. We entered in a sliding glass door and there I found Carter's expensive living room. The floor tiled was black with a bit of gray and brown. The big couches we're just plain leather black while the center table is just clear and plain, the carpet are black while the ceiling and curtain are white. There was also a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall while a complete set of game console was placed underneath it. On each side of the TV there is a built in surround system. There was also a long horizontal CD/DVD rack on top of the television. On the left side of the living room there was a hallway going to the dining area and kitchen while on the right side was stairs going to the second floor.

"Miss please make yourself comfortable here. Martha, the house keeper will be here later this afternoon to fix you and Mr. Greene a dinner. “Marcus told me after a while. "We have security surrounding the place so if you have to go somewhere just call them using the intercom." He added as he pointed me to the small machine with keypad that was glued on the wall near the stairs. "We have the directory over there Miss" this time he pointed the table right below the intercom. Mr. Greene will be here tonight. I'll be going now." He bowed his head like what Koreans do.

I nodded at him. I want to know where he is going but I kept my question to myself. I don't have the right to interfere to his business.

"Where are my things?" I asked.

"Martha will take care of it Miss."

I didn't ask anymore cause it seems like everything is settled and organized for me. After Marcus left I was alone with the beautiful but quiet house of Carter. I wonder why he is still not calling me. Aside from the message he asked Marcus to relay to me I haven't heard anything from him since then. This isn't what he promised me, he never told me that I will be left in this huge house alone. I took a deep breath, maybe he really had an emergency. He was the one who took me here so I don't think he had a change of mind about this whole thing.

Instead of feeling paranoid about Carter's plan I decided to just walk around the house. I went to the kitchen, there I found a black long table with sixteen white foam chairs. Near the long table was the wine rack. There was also a clear vase on the table with beautiful white roses inside. I noticed that the house is just plain black and white and everything around me looks expensive. Not too far from the long table was the breakfast bar that separates the dining to the kitchen.  The breakfast bar was also white while the bar stool are black.  Near the breakfast bar was the side by side 2 doors black shiny fridge. I opened it and found different kinds of health and sports drinks. There are also bottled waters, soda in can and different kinds of juices. There were also frozen microwavable meals like pasta, mac and cheese and sandwiches. Beside it were the stove and the exhaust fan. There were also cupboards above the sink and coffee makers, microwave and other kitchen appliances that seemed to be unused.

On the right side of the kitchen, there's a single wooden black door that leads to the dirty kitchen. It's much bigger than the kitchen and it has another set of the same appliances like the kitchen minus the breakfast bar. I think all the cooking is being done here.  I walked back to the living room and took the black oak and glass stair going to the second floor. The house is all made of glass, no brick walls or wooden walls, so as I made my way to the second floor I can clearly view the trees and lights outside. Although, the stone wall that surrounds the house is so tall I can only see what's within the property premises.  On the second floor was the wide hallway, I opened the first door that I saw and I found that it was an entertainment room, also colored white and black with complete entertainment set. The room opposite the entertainment is the play room; this one has pool table, ping pong table, dart and indoor sports paraphernalia. The other door that I found next to playroom was Carter's own gym, and then beside it was another staircase going to the third floor. There I found four fully furnished bedrooms with bathrooms in each one. But I doubt, Carter owns one, they're all plain white. I wonder if which room I am going to occupy. I got excited with the idea. I have never been in this kind of place before. I walked further and I found Carter's library and office in one. There were lots of books and files that I didn't bother to touch. Then on the end of the hallway was a black door, I think that was his room because it's different from the other doors that were plain white. I had second thoughts of going inside his room; I don't want him to think I am interrupting his privacy but I turn the door handle and it's open. So I went inside. I was stunned by his room, it was still black and white. I found a bouquet of red roses on the bed and card.

Jillian,

I'm sorry I wasn't able to pick you up. It kills me to know that you are alone in my house but I needed to take care of something very important. I promised to be home tonight. Please make yourself at home while I am gone. I know Marcus told you what to do but please ask Martha whatever you need, okay? I can't wait to see you. I miss you.

P.S.

I don't think I can let you sleep tonight.

Carter

I smiled after I read his notes. He really cares for me. I can feel his sincerity and concern for me. I continue to walk around the place. The flooring is the same as the other rooms and the carpet is also gray. The bed case up to the head board is white while the bed itself is black together with the pillows. The room is filled with blue LED lights. There is a night stand on the left side of the bed and a black wooden drawer on the right side. There is huge TV set from ceiling to floor opposite the bed. I wonder how it feels like watching in a television that big. On the left part of the room was the bathroom, the floor is made of alternate white and black tiles, there was a big white tub on right side and a glass walled shower room, where you can easily see the person inside. There is also a toilet bowl near the shower and a magazine rack. The sink is clean and it smells of lemon. The room is complete with shampoo, shower gel, scented candles and basket of rose petals.  I went back to the room to look further. At the back of the huge television was another glass door. I walked into it and found his walk in closet. The cabinets are made of glass doors so I can see what's inside. His clothes were neatly organized by type and color. Below, are his huge collections of shoes and then a tall and wide mirror at the end of the hallway. The glass cabinet on the left side is empty, which strange me a bit. I walked out of the closet and came back to the room, I went to the right part of the room and opened the sliding door and there I found a veranda where I can overlook the bright lights of Los Angeles skyline. I took a deep breath and I can smell the California air. The warm wind is blowing my hair away. I really am in California. I am not sure what will happen to me here, all I am holding onto is the promised Carter gave me. I am hoping that this is going to be the last stop that I'll have in the next coming years.

 

I tried to make myself busy during the next hours. Though, it was hard for me because there's nothing much to do. I haven't even seen my luggage, I don't know where Marcus put my things but all I have left for me is my backpack, where I have my books, personal stuffs, my passport and my cell phone.  At three o'clock, Martha the house keeper arrived. She greeted me politely as if she was expecting to see me. She is middle aged woman who has brown hair she tie-up in a nice bun. She wears a blue tailored baby collared shirt and a blue pencil cut skirt. She has these beautiful brown eyes, sharp pointed nose and thin lips. She told me she is from Russia and moved to America to work. She has been working for Carter for three years and she is single.

She asked me if I have eaten lunch and I told her that I didn't have an appetite because of the tiring more than five hour travel from Miami to here. I was feeling nauseous because of jet lag but she insisted that I eat first before I take some medicine and rest. I was ashamed to say no when she started heating up mac and cheese on the microwave. I ate a portion of it and told her I wasn't really feeling hungry. She gave me an anti-dizziness pill and advised to take some rest. I stayed at the living and watched some TV until I fell asleep.

 

 

I was awakened with the warm breath on my ear. I immediately get up when I remember Dan. I was so scared of the thought of me being found by him. When I opened my eyes all I saw was the beautiful LA house I have been checking out earlier and Carter sitting on the couch where I was sleeping. He still wears his office suit, navy blue long sleeves, black tie and black pants. His coat was neatly folded on the arm chair of the couch.

"Are you alright?" he asked with so much concern on his tone.

I took a deep breath and nodded. I haven't told Carter about my past.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He apologized.

I shook my head. I don't want him to think that way.

"No, you didn't scare me." I assured him. "What time did you get in?" I asked trying to divert his attention.

He smiled and walked towards me. He wrapped his arms on my waist. I feel awkward about it even though we've slept so many times before. Also, Martha might still be here and she can walk in here anytime and finds us like this.

"I just got in" he answered and tightens his embraced around me. "I'm sorry you were left here by yourself. I had this very urgent meeting with some Chinese investors" he explained.

I nodded. I don't know what to say to him. Investors? I think those are clients but I'm really not sure. I don't have any idea about business. The only business I know while growing up is Dan's business that required being sold.

"I hope everything is okay."

That's all I was able to properly respond to him.

"Everything is good. Don't worry about it." He assured me. "So how's your day? Your flight? We're you treated properly?" he asked with so much concern.

I took a deep breath.

"Everything is fine. I had a very nice trip." I assured him.

I am really trying my best to act comfortable around him. This is my home now. He is the one who will take care of me now so I shouldn't feel anxious or awkward right?

"Martha said you weren't feeling well."

Of course Martha told him. He is her boss. For sure she reports to him from time to time.

"I felt a bit dizzy earlier. It was my first time to be on a plane so I was a little jumpy about it but I was able to take a nap so I think I'm good now." I told him.

"Are you sure? I can take you to the hospital or we can call Dr. Stuart to have you checked."

I shook my head. I am feeling so much better now after taking a nap and the medicine Martha gave me. I don't want to inconvenience him for worrying too much about me. Though, I appreciate what his concern there is really no need for me to be checked by a doctor.

"I am fine. Martha gave me some pills so I'm really good now. Please don't worry about me."I convinced him.

He took a deep breath as he rubs his palms on my arm trying to make me warm.

"Alright, but if your dizziness continues, you let me know alright?"

I slightly nod. I am not used to these kinds of things. The feeling of being protected and cared for is very much new to me. So I don't have any idea on how to respond to him properly. I don't want him to think that I am being ungrateful because I am not. I am really thankful for everything he is doing for me.

"I will. Thank you." I whispered.

"Okay." He glanced at his wristwatch. "Well, time for dinner. Come here."

He pulled me towards the kitchen. I immediately smelled the aroma of cheese and pepper and garlic. There are two plates neatly set on the breakfast bar. Beside the plates are the perfect set of spoon, fork and steak knife. There are also two wine glasses per side of each plate.

Carter gestured me to seat on the bar stool. So I did. Then he took the seat right beside me. He reached for my hands that I placed on my lap and gently kissed them. Another thing I am not used to is the feeling of affection. Though, way back in St. Louis I had Max who gave affection towards me but it was quick and we only went out once. But Carter's affection is pretty much superb, he kisses and holds me every time he gets the chance.

Martha walked out from the other kitchen with a silver platter of a whole roasted chicken with grilled lemons in hand. She gave us her warmest smile. She is still wearing the same clothes I saw her with earlier.

"Good evening Mr. Greene, Miss Jillian." She greeted us politely while she puts the platter down in front of us.

"Good evening," I replied while Carter gave him a slight nod.

Martha walked back to the kitchen, Carter stood up and went to the wine rack. He took a bottle of wine from there and went back to the breakfast bar. Martha came out of the kitchen bringing a big bowl of tossed salad to us. She placed it down beside the platter of roasted chicken.

"Looks delicious Martha" Carter said.

Martha smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Greene. Do you a corkscrew for the wine?" she asked.

Carter nodded. Martha pulled out the drawer beside the cupboard and took the corkscrew out. She politely handed it to Carter, he started unlocking the wine cap using the corkscrew while Martha made her way back to the kitchen. I silently sat there just watching them the whole time.

Carter poured the wine on each of our glasses.

"Here" he handed me the glass.

I was hesitant to take it because I don't really drink, though I drink a shot of tequila or a bottle of beer when I was still working at the club. I never liked the taste of alcohol but I didn't want to say no to Carter so I took the glass from his hand and taste a bit of it.

The wine was sweet though there's something on it that draws a line on my throat. I slightly shook my head and took a deep breath.

"You don't like it?" he asked.

"I'm not really a drinker." I told him.

He smiled a bit.

"It's just a wine. You won't get drunk to it. I promised." He explained.

I nodded. The wine taste good but if I have a choice I'd rather not to drink but I don't have the courage to let him know that.

"You don't like it, do you?"

He noticed I was half hearted with the wine. I took that chance to shake my head.

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

He took my hands again and put them on his chest. I can feel his heart beating.

"Jillian, if you want something or you don't want something, you can tell me." He said. "I took you here because I like you and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I am going to take care of you, I want you to treat me like I am someone you can trust, not someone you owe something to. I want you to know me and I want to know you too. So let's give each other a chance."

I can feel how much he meant every word he said. I know I am the one who is having a hard time acting comfortable around him and I don't want him to be disappointed in me. I don't want to ruin this thing because I can't be used to the things I never experience before.

I gave him a slight nod.

"Good girl," he whispered then kissed my lips.

It was a quick peck on my lips.

"Let's eat, I'm starving"

I nodded. Then we started to eat the mouth watering dish Martha prepared for us.

 

After eating dinner, Martha cleaned the kitchen up and asked permission to head home. She lives a few blocks from here with her Aunt. Every day she is being fetched from her Aunt's by around three in the afternoon to prepare dinner for Carter and leaves just before he goes to sleep. Carter doesn't take anything for breakfast except for coffee so there's no need for Martha to fix him breakfast. Every Wednesdays, she comes in early for the weekly house cleaning. She looks happy with what her doing and I bet Carter is paying her so much.

"Did you the like the room?"

I turned to Carter who was sitting beside me at the edge of the swimming pool. We are the back of the house, I wasn't able to check this out earlier cause it slipped my mind that there's still something at the back. We soaked our feet to the cold water of his rectangular shape swimming pool. Beside it were four beach beds with two round tables and two beach umbrellas in between two beds. The beds, tables and umbrellas are all striped black and white. There are also tall palm trees and Bermuda grass surrounding the lawn that sends a slight cold wind to us.

"Yeah, I did" I answered him.

I feel more comfortable around him after our talk earlier.

"But, I wonder which one will be my room?" I asked.

He sipped on his wine and put it down beside my orange juice. He smiled at me and cupped my face.

"You are so adorable," he said, still smiling.

I didn't get what he meant, how did I become adorable? I just want to know which room I should take.

"I don't think I am following you." I told him completely clueless about what he said.

He laughed a little.

"You're staying in my room, that's our room now." He said.

I was surprised. Why didn't I think of that? My bad. Of course, we'll stay in the same room. I was half-hearted about it but I thought about the chance he was asking earlier. I am going to live with him, he will support my studies and of course it includes me returning the favor. It's not really that bad, at least I am living in a nice house. I can completely focus on my schooling and I don't even have to do a show every night. This is way better than my life in Florida.

"Of course," I whispered.

I looked down. I don't want him to see the hesitation on my face.

"We don't have to, if you're not comfortable with it."

I shook my head. I want to give him the chance he was asking for.

"It's fine. I am fine with it. Chance, right?"

Carter smiled at me and nodded.

"Thank you. You'll never regret coming here, I promised."

"I know."

He cupped my face, he was looking at me straight to my eyes. I can see the joy deep within those beautiful green eyes of him. Though, I am not sure if I was the one who brought that joy to him.

He puts his lip towards mine. It was a very passionate kiss, even more passionate than the kiss we shared in his penthouse. It was pure of affection and it looks like offering protection. I wrapped my arms around his neck and responded to the kiss. He placed his hands on my waist pulling me closer to him and deepening our kiss. He rubs his tongue on my lips asking for and entrance and I gladly gave him one. Among all the guys I have kissed, Carter is the most gentle, he makes sure that I am not hurt and he wants me to like what he is doing to me. His hands explored my body, caressing my back not breaking our kiss. I was the one who let go first, we were both chasing our breaths.

"You make me fucking crazy Jillian," he muttered

I took a deep breath trying to calm the beat of my heart.

"Let's go upstairs." He whispered and gave me peck on my lips.

He pulled me to stand up from where I was sitting and we hand in hand took the stairs going to his room, or I must say our room. I was still mesmerized with how beautiful his room was. The roses that I found on the bed earlier are already fixed inside a round, tall and clear vase. The roses have a shade of blue on each petal due to blue LED lights coming from the wall. The card that came with the flowers was neatly placed on the wooden drawer beside the bed.

The bed cover and the pillows were changed from white to silk blue. The LED light gave shadows to the silk color.

"Come here," he pulled me towards his walk in closet.

There I found the same clothes he has on the closet on the right side but the empty cabinet earlier was now filled with clothes. Each side has 5 glass doors, I noticed my clothes that I brought from Florida are neatly placed on the first door while the rest of the door are still empty.

"That side is yours" he told me after a while.

I nodded.

"Tomorrow, we'll go shopping and we will fill those empty cabinets with all your new clothes."

I shook my head. Giving me a place to stay and supporting my studies is too much.

"You don't have to do that," I declined.

He pulled me to him and placed his hands on my hips.

"I want to. I told you I'll give you everything you want,"

"But all I want is to be able to go back to school, and you have given me that so that's enough for me."

He shook his head and rubs his hands on my curves.

"Still not enough for me, I will give you everything Jillian, everything."

I don't want to argue with him, I know he won't back down. He will insist what he wants until he gets it.

"Alright," that's all I was able to say.

"I want you to be happy,"

"Thank you."

He kissed me one more time. We shared another passionate kiss. When his hand started to explore my body again, I broke the kiss.

"Can I take a shower first?" I asked shyly.

I am very much aware on what will happen tonight. It was clearly stated on the card he left me earlier and I don't want to disappoint him. I know I kind of stink because of the early flight so I badly need a shower.

"Yeah, sure." He chuckled.

I ran-walked towards the shower, the bathroom still carry the soothing citrus scent I smelled earlier. I took my shirt and jeans off, it's the same clothes I wore when I left our house in Miami Beach. I went inside the glass shower and turned the water on, it was warm, and it immediately relaxes my nerves. I was amazed by the different shower gels on the rack. I took one of the clean sponges hanging on the wall in different color and poured a lime flavored shower gel on it. 

I started to rub the cloth on my body while the water is still running. The lime scent is so calming and at the same time it keeps me awake. I continue to massage my skin when I felt two cold but soft hands on my waist.

"I can't wait any longer,"

Carter started to kiss my nape while his hands explore my body. His lips are wet and warm and every time the warmth of his breath touches my skin and I get this strange heated feeling underneath my veins. His hand went on my neck and rubbed the gel through my breast. He turned me to him and his lips met mine. It was hot but passionate at the same time. The water is still running but I can still feel the warmth of his naked body. I didn't see him take his clothes off or even heard him walked in the shower. His body was warm and it feels like he's having a fever.

He broke the kiss and pushed me slightly away from him. He runs his eyes through my nakedness. A sudden feel of shyness blows over me, I feel my cheeks getting hot.

"God! You are so beautiful Jillian," he whispered in hard breathing.

This is the first time that I stood naked in front of him with the light on. Whenever we are in his penthouse he always prefers to have the light off, which is very convenient for me.

I looked down, not wanting to meet his gazed with flushed cheeks. I don't want him to think I am embarrassed because I promised him that I'll try to act comfortable around him.

Carter cupped my face and stared at me straight into my eyes. His face is so beautiful, even more beautiful than me despite of the water running from his head.

"I think I'll never get enough of you,"

Then he kissed my lips again, this time he pressed his naked body to me. I took a stepped backward for support until I reached the glass wall. I can feel his hard manhood pressed on my belly. The wall was iced cold while body is hot. The mixed temperature that I am feeling gives me strange shiver inside my body. It was crazy. I never felt something like this before.

His mouth left mine and went to my neck down to my collar bone and to my left breast. His warm tongue licks my nipple while his right hand cupped my wetness. It felt so damn good that I can't help the slight moan escapes my mouth. I tugged my fingers on his wet hair when I felt his finger going inside me.

"You are so wet baby,"

I couldn't stop myself from moaning when he pulled and pushed his finger inside me. It awakened all the blood and warmness I have inside my body. I never felt this kind of pleasure before. His mouth went to my other breast, licking and sucking it until its sore.

I pulled his hair, trying to get as much support as I can, with this extreme pleasure he is giving me my knees are getting weaker and weaker.

"Carter," I called his name, moaning.

He looked up to me, stood up but his finger is still pulling and pushing inside me.

"Come for me baby,"

I tried to chase my breath when his finger went faster, I know I am going to come anytime soon. He went even faster and faster until my body explodes. He waited for the hot fluid to flow from my legs before he took his finger out.

"Beautiful baby,"

He reached for the telephone shower and washed my legs. Once I was cleaned, he pulled me out of the shower, he's still naked and he's beautiful everywhere, it seems like he was perfectly sculptured. I can still his erection as he took one clean towel and slightly rubbed it to my body to dry me up.

The AC unit is making me shiver, he wrapped the towel on my shoulders noticing I was shivering. Then held my hand and pulled me towards the bedroom.

He took the towel off of me and sat on the bed, pulling me on his lap. He took my lips again just as the same time that I was able to sit on his lap. The kiss was hard this time, just the nice kind of hard not the rough one.

My knees are still weak due to the intense pleasure I felt earlier in the shower and now he's doing it again. He carried me off his lap and carefully placed me on the bed, I felt the soft and silky texture of the bed sheet. He went on top of me, pressing his erection on my belly. He took my kiss again, this time, brushing his tongue on my lips, asking for an entrance, I gladly gave him one. We're both moaning through our throats, enjoying every inch of each other. I chase my breath when he finally broke the kiss. His mouth went to cheeks, the back of my ear, his warm breath sends shiver down my spine.

"No one can ever touch you again, but me." He whispered.

His body warmed again, so as mine, we're both getting feverish now. His lips went down, on my breast, licking and sucking it again like a hungry infant. His hand went to my wetness again, this time massaging it lightly, making me water down there in seconds.

His lips went down to my belly, leaving hot kisses on every part of my skin. I was slightly electrified when I felt his tongue down there at the most sensitive part of my body. I didn't expect any of this, I never experience having someone down there. He is practically eating, licking and sucking me down there. I feel like I am going to lose my mind and explode again.

I was breathing harder, trying to chase my breath and stop my heart for beating so damn fast. He continues to lick my clit and inserted another finger inside me making screamed in pleasure. I don't know how he does it, but it feels so freaking good that I might come again anytime soon.

"I want you to come again for me, baby"

His finger went fast again, so as his tongue, I know I am on the edge of exploding again, but I am trying not to because I don't want to come on his mouth. But it looks like he really wants me to, he sat up on the bed while his finger still inside me giving fast thrust. I shivered and I come again on his hand.

My knees are weak again, he stood up and reached something from the drawer beside the bed. He went back to the bed with a condom on his hand, he tear it up and put it on him. He holds my knees and spread my legs wide.

"Time for the real deal, baby"

I am nervous, I don't know if I can still do this, I feel so weak, my body feel lifeless but warm due to the another intense pleasure I just felt. Now, we're going to do it again? Fuck! I think I need even a bit or rest. But I can see his erection aching for me.

"Ready?" he asked, teasing me.

I nodded unsurely, I hope I can still keep up with him. He slowly pushed himself to me, I am sore but it still felt good when I felt him on my entrance until he was able to finally push it all in.

"God! You're tight!" he groaned.

 He was slowly thrusting me at first, then he was going faster and faster that he was tightly gripping me on my waist. He was staring at me with so much lust and care in his eyes.

"Jillian," he called.

I know he was about to come because he was going so fast. I know I am going too. Then just a couple of seconds after, we both came in unison. He kissed me on my lips again before he collapsed beside me. We we're both breathing so hard.

I never come this much before, and sometimes I don't even come at all. Maybe it's because I don't really like what I do, I just need to do it because I have to.

I looked at him.

"You are mine." He said.

He eyes are telling me I am his and that I am protected and cared for. I don't what I did or did not do for this man to have these feelings towards me. After all, I am just Jillian the girl who walks away from home.

 

 

Chapter Seven

Five in the afternoon when I finally reach the house, it’s been a month since I got here and I started going to school early this week. I am getting used to the life here in California and I am definitely liking the heat and the palm trees that you can see everywhere.

The house is still the same, Carter still do his daily routine, going to work in the morning and he makes sure that he comes home right before dinner. Martha, still cleans the house and prepare for our dinner, although, she offered to go in the morning to fix us breakfast, I told Carter that I can be the one to prepare our morning food. Carter agreed, so before he goes to work I make sure that we eat breakfast together. Although, at first he was getting sick but he is getting used to it.

Carter and I are really exerting effort to make our relationship work. He often tells me how much he likes me and how he badly wanted to keep me with him. We didn’t talk about the label of what our relationship is, but one time when we attended a gala he introduced me as his girlfriend, so I think that’s it. It was the first time that I was able to go to that kind of thing. I didn’t even experience prom way back in Missouri. Carter is kind to me; he makes sure I am always comfortable even with the smallest thing he asked me. He protects me, making sure that I am safe all time. So far, I have Marcus who drives me to school and home.

Speaking of school, everything is good. For the first time I made a couple of friends. On my first day, I was approached by a girl and offered me an application to a long time sorority. I checked their place for a while, everyone was nice to me but I declined to join their group. All I want is to focus on my studies and I am fine being just me. When I told Carter about it, he said that its okay if I join and he said that it’s fun to be in a sorority. He even told me about the fraternity he joined way back in Stanford.

I love the school, the campus, the professors, and every part of it. My life is so much easier now, because I can be who I want to be. I no longer need to feel different because I have an abusive step father or because I work as a stripper. I am just me, I am living a simple life; not really simple cause I live in a bachelor mansion of Carter and we're kind of together, although, we haven't really talked about it. But I am normal, I feel very normal.  I never expected that I can be normal.

When we parked the car at the garage, I noticed Carter’s black Lamborghini Aventador is already in the garage. This is the car he used earlier to drive me to school earlier and to his work. Marcus opened the door and I got off the car, I wonder why he is early, since he normally goes home around seven in the evening and it’s only five in the afternoon. I made my way to the house and I found him sitting on the couch with a glass of scotch in hand. He is still wearing the same black suit he wore early this morning. He looks so much younger with his new semi-spike hair cut. He immediately smiled at me as he saw me walks inside the house.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

I walked towards him and sat beside him. I was wearing my usual sweat shirt, jeans and sneakers. He bought me new dresses but I rarely wear them because I am not really used to be so girly. I just wear them when I need to, like Carter and I are having to dinner to some formal restaurant.

“I’ve missed you,” he said and gave me a peck on lips.

“Me too,” I whispered.

Even after a month of living together I am still not used to the intimate things he often tells me. Even though we’ve already shared so much, if you know what I mean, I still do not know how to respond to his sweet and romantic words.

He ran his fingers on my neck giving me tingles.

“Why are you so early?” I asked.

He smiled and it showed his beautiful set of sparkling white teeth. I don’t know how he can get this handsome. He’s just perfect and whenever I am with him I can’t help not to feel that we don’t fit together. I am too simple for him.

“Because I have a surprise for you,” he said, still smiling.

He stood up and pulled me to the front of the house, there I found an expensive blue car that I don’t even know what kind of car is it.

“Did you like it?” he asked.

I nodded, it’s a beautiful car and it looks very much expensive. It’s obvious that’s it’s a brand new car. I wonder what is he going to do with another car, he already have four luxury cars, aside from the BMW that’s being used by Marcus whenever he fetch me from school right after my class.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, trying to find the word that will fit the car but that’s all I was able to come up with. The car is really beautiful, I don’t know what to add on that anymore.

He smiled and took something from his pants pocket.

“I’m glad you liked it, it’s the latest Bentley Continental V8 S convertible, it’s a nice car to drive,” he said, still smiling at me.

He pulled my hand, opened my palm and dropped the car keys he took from his pocket.

“Do you want me to give it a test drive?” I asked unsurely.

This is a new car, and even though I just learned to drive a couple of months ago and I only drove Keith’s old Volkswagen Beetle I really liked to have a test drive for this new car.

“Yeah, actually, you can bring it to school tomorrow,” he answered.

I got excited with the test drive but with me bringing it to school? I don’t think so.

“A test drive is enough for me, it’s your new car and you should be the one who should use it, not me.” I told him, refusing his offer.

“It’s not mine, it’s your Jillian, and this is your car,”

I was stunned. My car? Is he insane? This is a luxury car, from what I know a Bentley costs a fortune.

“No,” I shook my head and gave the keys back to him. “You don’t have to do that, I mean, I’m fine with Marcus picking me up at school.” I sighed, not knowing how to put the right words into this, I don’t want to sound like being ungrateful. “Carter, you’ve already done so much for me, you gave me a nice place to live, you are already supporting my schooling, I can’t accept anything like this.” I explained, shaking my head again.

He took a deep breath and pulled me close to him, resting his hands on my hips.

“Jillian, when I told you I’ll give everything to you, I meant that. I really would like to give you a better life. When you decided to go with me, my only goal was to make you happy and that includes giving you everything I can, my money, luxury, myself, everything, and since you came here I haven’t even done an inch of what I want to give you and yet you’re already declining me?” he said with sincerity and a slight of frustration. “It’s just a car, it is for your own convenience, you don’t need to have Marcus follow you everywhere you go because you need him to drive you home, with this car you can go any place you want without having the hassle of contacting Marcus. I want you safe, but I also want you to be free. I didn’t bring you here to lock you with me. I brought you here because I want you and at the same time I want you live too.”

I took a deep breath, with everything he just told, what else can I say? I don’t want to hurt him by not accepting the car. He has a point, if I’ll have my own car then I don’t need Marcus to follow me around the campus or waiting for me until my class ends. I guess Marcus need a life too.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to a kiss on his lips.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“You’re welcome baby,”

Then he kissed me again.

The next morning, I drove to UCLA with my new Bentley Continental V8 S Convertible. It took me a while to memorize the name of this super beautiful car and not to mention expensive car. Last night before we went to bed, I secretly searched the price of it on Google using my cell phone and I almost had a heart attack when I saw how much it was, $199, 700.00. Wow, it really does cost a fortune. I had second thoughts of really accepting it after I knew how much it was and I was planning on talking to Carter this morning at breakfast, however, when I saw how excited he was about me driving the car for the first time I had to withdraw the thought on my head and just be excited about it too.

I carefully parked the car on the parking lot near my building, because of this car, I also had to dress myself up so I won’t look like I stole the car. So instead of wearing my usual sweatshirt earlier this morning I put on a blue green sleeveless knee-length v-neck sun dress with thick strap and I paired my new T-strap blue flat sandals. If Nicole was here, for sure she will tell me I look like a freaking girl.

“Nice ride,”

I turned to see Christy, the girl from my writing classes. I met her on the first day of class, she is a 5 foot 10 inches tall brunette, with gray eyes, perfect nose and pouty lips, she lives in Orange County, her parents are lawyers and she has an older brother who is an art major. She is nice to me, one of the first people who introduced themselves to me, and we constantly hang out together at campus. She walks to me wearing a beige casual lace above the knee dress and a brown flat form heels.

“New car?” she asked.

I nodded, and then I pressed the key to lock the Bentley.

“Yeah,”

She smiled and ran her gaze on the car.

“A gift from Mr. Super Rich Business Tycoon?” she teased.

We started walking towards the building.

“Kind of.”

Christy knows about the Carter thing, though I didn’t mention what’s the real score is. She believes we’re live in partners. I didn’t plan on telling her before but I can’t really keep it knowing that Marcus is following my every move.

“Ummm, generous” she added.

“Well,” I took a deep breath, “he said I needed it and its nice car so who am I to refused right?” I told her.

“Right, besides a Bentley is very expensive,” she nodded.

“It is, that’s why I didn’t really want to accept it,” I said.

We went inside the building and walked straight to the auditorium where our first class is.

“You know, my brother was really sad when I told him you have a rich/hot boyfriend” she giggled.

“But why?” I cocked my brow.

I met his brother once, his name was Adam if I am not mistaken, and he’s a boy next door type, really gorgeous and a senior student with an art major.

She sat on the third row and I sat beside her, I haven’t seen our other friend Brooke. There are only a few students there, well, it is still early, class doesn’t start until 9am and it’s only 8:30, I just want to be early all the time and Christy too.

“I told you, he has a huge crush on you, but since you’re lock up with a super hot business tycoon then he has no chance in hell.” She explained.

I never knew that. When I met him, we didn’t even talk so I doubt if he has a crush on me.

“You know he rarely likes someone, he’s different with other guys, I only remembered he had a crush on our neighbor way back in middle school, since then I haven’t seen or heard from him that he is crushing on someone,” she told me. “You know, if you’re not just with someone, I’ll be rooting for the two of you, Adam is really a one of a kind guy.”

I just gave her a slight smile; I can’t help not to think about what she just said. Is Carter really locking me with him? I don’t feel that though, I wonder if what will happen to us if I didn’t fall for him or he didn’t fall for me. Is he going to kick me out of the house? Are we going to be separated? What if he falls for me? Is he going to ask me to marry him, or we’ll just stay together forever? But marriage is way too far from what I want to do with my life right now. Besides, I don’t think Carter would want any of that anytime soon. The class started with Christy’s words still clinging on my head. Maybe, I don’t need to think of that now, I’ll just do what I need to do, study and be with Carter at all times.

“Jillian,”

I was walking my way out of UCLA College of Psychology building when someone called my name. When I turned around to see who it was, I saw Christy’s Brother Adam.

“Hi,” I greeted him with a slight smile.

He was chasing his breath when he came in front of me, he is wearing a white tee with I’m an artist written on it, a pair of black jeans and black high cut converse.

“Hey, going home?” he asked.

I nodded and we started walking together. My class is only until 5pm today so I am planning to go home early to cook something special for Carter, my thank you present for the Bentley.

“Yeah, how about you?” I asked.

I saw his dragon tattoo on his left arm, he is really an artist.

“I still have one class left at seven,” he answered then ran her fingers on the strap of his back pack. “I’m thinking, if you can join me for a coffee, maybe?”

He was looking at me with pleading eyes. Now I believe Christy, he really does have a crush on me.

“I’m sorry, I can’t” I declined.

He took a deep breath.

“I know Christy told you some things about me crushing on you, and it’s true and I know that you’re with someone and I get it, but I just want to be your friend, I mean since you’re friend with my sister.” He said.

I don’t know what to tell him anymore. I don’t know why but whenever I go I always get attention from some guys in school, like Max in St. Louis and Justin from Florida. Who actually left a voicemail on my cell phone the day that I landed in California.

“Jillian, it’s me Justin. I don’t know what happened to you on why all of a sudden you decided to transfer school but I just want you to know that I was cool with you dating someone else, but at least you could’ve had the courage to tell me instead of pretending that you are single but just too busy to go out. I hope you have a good life.”

I don’t know where he got my number or how he knew I was moving to California. I was kind of hurt on how fast he judged me thinking we were friends but whatever he thinks of me, it doesn’t matter anymore, I can’t do anything about it anyway.

Adam still followed me to the parking area where I left the Bentley. I was about to answer him but I was surprised who I saw standing beside my car. It’s Carter.

“Carter,” I called him with an obvious surprised on my face.

He was wearing his usual office suit and he stood gorgeously with his freaking Greek-God smile as he waited for me to reach his side.

“Surprised baby?” he asked.

I nodded and smiled a bit forgetting Adam is still behind me. Carter’s smiled immediately disappeared when he saw Adam. I felt the sudden tension coming from the two of them. Carter is staring intently at Adam while Adam ran his gaze to Carter from head to toe, maybe wondering who Carter is.

I took a step forward, standing closer to Carter and keeping a slight distance from Adam.

“Carter, this is Christy’s brother Adam and Adam this is Carter----”

“---her boyfriend.”

I wasn’t able to finish what I was trying to say when Carter cut me off. I saw him offering his hand to Adam and I felt nervous as Adam accepted his hand. There’s still tension when the two guys shook hands. I never felt like this before. I don’t know what Carter is doing here at campus and I regret letting Adam follow me here in the parking area.

“Jillian, I’ll see you around, please think of my offer, okay?”

I was glad when Adam felt the tension and decided to walk away. I nodded at him an answer and watched him as he made his way back inside the building.

“So, who’s that?”

I turned to look at Carter, his expression is blank and his voice is stiff. I can’t sense if he is mad at me or not. This is the first time I saw him like this.

“Christy’s brother,” I answered feeling uneasy.

He knows Christy and Brooke. I told him about them the day I started school. He was happy that I made new friends.

“Why is he following you?” he asked again with the same stiff tone.

“He was asking me to join him for coffee,” I told him

I don’t know what he is trying to dig in. He was never like this before. I am not used to this kind of Carter.

“And what’d you tell him?”

I took a deep breath.

“I told him, I can’t” I answered, trying to keep myself on feeling aggravated. “Anyway, what are you doing here?”

He sighed.

“I want you to drive me home,” he teased, but not smiling.

I looked around trying to look for his car and Marcus but I didn’t find neither.

“Let’s go then,”

I walked to the driver seat and get inside the car, Carter did the same on the seat beside mine. I made sure we’re both wearing our seatbelts before I started the engine and drove away.

“So, that Adam guy, is he hitting on you?” he asked while we are on our way home.

“No, he isn’t”

He is still trying to pry and dig some information from me about Adam so I just decided to keep my eyes on the road.

“Then, what’s the offer he is telling you think about?”

I turned straight right to the Wilshire Blvd before looking at him.

“He wants to be friends with me,”

“Just friends?”

I feel like he thinks I am lying to him and it makes me irritated because it looks like he doesn’t trust me. Now, I regret making friends if it will be an issue if I hang out with a male friend. Besides, I didn’t even say yes to Adam, I declined going with him and he’s only offering me nothing but friendship.

“Yes, just friends. Christy told me he had a crush on me but he knows he doesn’t have any chance on me because I am living with you.” I explained, hoping that he’s drop the topic.

“So, if it happens that you’re not living with me and I am out of the picture, he has a chance?”

I took a deep breath before stopping the car on the road side.

“No. He doesn’t have any chance at all. He isn’t my type and the only reason why I see him because we go to the same school, nothing more, nothing less.” I told him straight forward.

I know I sounded upset because I am. I have been trying to be patient since I started driving but I just lost it. I feel like he is accusing me of things I didn’t even do.

He looked at me straight into my eyes with a blank expression on his face. The only expression he carried since he got inside my car.

“I don’t want you near that guy, ever again.” He said with authority.

“Okay,” I nodded, not wanting to argue with him again. “Can we go home now?”

He nodded and didn’t say anything else. I started the engine again and silently drove our way home.

I parked the car at the garage, I am still upset with Carter. I turned the engine off and got off the car. I didn’t say anything to him and so as he. I was the one who went inside the house first, I heard him follow me, and I withdrew the thoughts of cooking for him tonight on my head. I’ll just cook when we’re both not angry with each other. I went straight to our room to change for something comfy.

My attention was caught by a huge white rectangular box on the bed that has a yellow ribbon on it. There is another shoe box on the floor near the bed and a black velvet jewelry gift box on the bed beside the rectangular one.

I was still staring at the boxes on the bed when I heard the door opened. I know it’s him. I was about to go to the walk-in closet to avoid him when he reached for my hand and pulled me close to him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

He put my hands on his chest making me feel his heart beat. He was looking at me with pleading and sincere eyes. I no longer see the blank expression he has been carrying on your way here.

He pulled me on a tight embraced.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” he apologized, “I was jealous, he was young, good-looking guy and I was scared that you might fall for him”

I didn’t expect to hear that from him. Adam isn’t my type, though, his also gorgeous but Carter is a Greek-god and I am with him. I never thought that in spite of the perfect life he has, he’s still feeling insecurity towards Adam who doesn’t match with him at all.

I took a deep breath, I don’t know how to handle this kind of situation. I never had someone who feels jealousy towards another individual because of me. I was never in a relationship. Maybe Carter and I are romantically together, since we’re living in the same roof and sleeping on the same bed.

“You shouldn’t feel that way, Adam is my friend’s brother, nothing more.” I started, trying to gasp the right words to say. I want him to feel secured. “And if you don’t want me to see him or be around him, then I’ll try my best to avoid him at all cost.” I assured him.

“Thank you,”

Then he kissed my lips. It was rough and he was eager. It felt like he was so hungry for me. I responded to his kiss, I tug my fingers on his hair as he pulled me even closer to him not the breaking the kiss. He brushes his tongue on my lips asking for an entrance and I gladly gave him one, his left hand is supporting my back while his right hand is squeezing my butt really hard making me feel hot all over my body.

His lips went down to my neck and then sucking my shoulder blades then he stopped.

“Damn, I really want to fuck you right now, but we’re going to an important auction so I have to save you for later.” He said breathing so hard.

I was chasing my breath as he let go of my lips.

“Auction?” I asked

I didn’t have any idea about this auction; I don’t remember him mentioning it to me before.

“Yes, it’s a yearly charity event, and it totally slipped my mind,” he explained. “Phoebe, my secretary just reminded me earlier.” He let go of me and walked to the bed. “Here, I asked her to pick up something you can wear tonight, let’s check it, come here”

I walked to the bed and sat on it while Carter remained standing beside me. I pulled the biggest rectangular box towards my direction and slowly taking the lid off. I looked at Carter and he was smiling at me dearly. I was amazed what came after my eyes when I check what’s inside the box, it is a dazzling blue sequined long dress, it was beaded and strapless and it was sparkling. God, it’s so beautiful.

“Did you like it?” he asked as he slight squeezes my shoulder.

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” I told him.

I cannot take my eyes off the dress. I have never seen something this beautiful. When we attended a gala two weeks ago, he brought me to a dress shop and I chose the simplest dress I found, since the dresses in the shop were so expensive, it was also the cheapest one I got which was $3,000, not really cheap but that’s the cheapest I can find.

“Check out the shoes.” He said.

And so I did. I reached for the shoe box on the floor beside the bed and I was even more amazed, I saw a pair of silver rhinestones flat form ankle strap heels. I think they’re 5 inches high and they are also sparkling and super gorgeous. Next, I check the velvet box when I opened it I saw a pair of teardrop diamond stud chandelier earrings and a teardrop silver vintage diamond bracelet. I can imagine myself wearing these things and I can’t help not to feel like a princess. Then I remember my mom when she used to read me stories about Cinderella and Snow White, I felt my eyes water so I immediately blinked the thoughts of my mom away.

“Thank you Carter, thank you.”

Then I stood up and gave him a tight embraced.

“I told you, I’ll give you everything.”

I nodded and hug him again.

 

I did look like a Disney princess when I was finally done dressing up. The dress fits perfectly on me, just hugging the right curves I have. I admired Phoebe for getting the right size for the dress and shoes. My feel sparkles as I put on the beaded high heels peep toe. The diamond earrings and the vintage diamond bracelet are kind of heavy but I put them anyway, I put on a very light make up, very light bluish eyes shadow with a slight touch of brown, a little bit of mascara and bronze blush on and a I chose Courting Lilac Mac lipstick that was included on the makeup kit set Phoebe bought for me. It was a lovely plumy pink/purple with a touch of strong gold that makes your lips glitters.

I ran another glance on myself on the huge mirror on our walk-in closet. I really did look like one of the Disney Princesses, the dress even have a thigh-slit that shows my left leg.

I grabbed the silver diamond beaded pouch that was also courtesy of Phoebe on the bed and I slowly walked my way down stairs. I can’t walk fast because I was afraid to fall down with my high heels.

Carter is in the living room waiting for me, he smiled when he saw me walking down the stairs. I smiled back, he was such a dashing debonair wearing a white one button tux, he has a white buttoned down shirt inside that has three undo buttons, he was also wearing a white pants and a pair of white leather shoes. He’s also not wearing a tie, I am not used to seeing him in this kind of get up. Usually, he is wearing a black suit and tie, and that’s it. But now he looks ragged, he didn’t shave too so he looks so masculine, I can’t believe I am going to a charity event with this gorgeous man.

“You look stunning,” he whispered as I reach the ground floor.

I put my right hand on his arm and he slowly guided me towards the house front door.

“You look beautiful too,” I whispered back.

Marcus is standing outside right behind the limousine, I didn’t know he own this kind of car cause I’ve never seen one on the garage before.

“I didn’t know you own a limousine,” I asked, trying to tone down.

“I don’t, it’s a rental car, for special occasions like this. This is one of the very important events of the year, the attendees mostly are business men, politicians and celebrities.” He explained.

Marcus opened the car and I carefully get inside, Carter followed me and we sat beside each other. The car was so wide and smelled really good. The seats were too soft, and there is a small bar with different kinds of champagne and wine on it. I can clearly see the view outside but I doubt if I can be seen from the outside because the windows we’re too dark. There is a portable flat screen TV that can folded if not in use.

The car is started moving to our destination, I don’t know exactly where we’re going but I know Carter is taking care of it all.

Carter opened a bottle of champagne and we drank it on our way to the event. He was all smiles showing that our argument earlier was completely forgotten.

“So, what’s up with this auction?” I asked.

“Well, it’s a yearly event, different things are up for an auction, more often than not, vintage properties by famous people. All the proceeds are going to the California Cancer Foundation.” He explained.

“Wow, it’s really for good cause then,”

He nodded.

“Yes, and I was so overwhelmed with the idea of you staying with me that I forgot about it completely,” he chuckled. “My dad is the original member of the board but when he retired and decided to travel around, I came in the picture, it’s for a good cause so who am I to refused right?”

That’s the first time that he mentioned about his family or his dad, I only know little things about him, like personal things, such as: favorite food, movie, place to go, but other than that, nothing else, I know he’s a real estate tycoon, he’s 29 years old living in an expensive bachelor pad and he collects luxury cars. I never heard him mentioned about his family, I never saw one too at home. I think we’re just the same, I never mentioned to him about my family too. I never even offered any story. I don’t want to be feeling sorry for if he found out about my life in Missouri. As much as possible I want to forget my dark past and to be able to do that is not mentioning it ever again.

The car stopped and Marcus immediately opened the door. Carter got off the vehicle and then took my hand and helped me to get off the car.

There is a huge building behind us, I think it’s a hotel, I wonder if it’s his too. There is a red carpet from where we get off going to the stairs and on the entrance of the hotel. Outside, there are camera men and media on both side of the building, the red carpet was guarded by a red chain up to the entrance of the hotel.

Carter put his hand on the small of my back for some support as we walked our way towards the building entrance. There are flashes everywhere, there are reporters asking Carter who is he with. This event is way bigger than the gala we attended before. I was a bit conscious with how I look especially since my leg is being exposed every time I step my left foot. Halfway of the stairs there is a huge banner where in the different logos of sponsors are on and Carter pulled me towards the banner to have a picture taken. He was pulling me so close to him, we both smiled, he was asked by the guy who was standing near the banner with a cordless huge microphone in hand on who was I. Carter gave him a slight smile and pulled me towards the red carpet and we continue to make our way to the entrance of the building.

The party was well-secured too, there are MIB everywhere, it was indeed a hotel, and the entrance was fabulous with sparkling chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. One of the organizers met us up, and walked us to where the event is being conducted. The place was cozy, there are tables and chairs neatly arrange on the wide function rooms. There is a stage at the center with a microphone. There are already a bunch of people wearing gorgeous dresses and expensive tuxedos. There are waiters walking around offering appetizers and champagnes.

We went to the table with our name written on the chairs. I was a bit overwhelmed knowing that I was on the invite list, Carter pulled the chair and I carefully sat on it, he was about to seat on the chair beside me when the crowd went buzzing. People are whispering, talking about someone, I looked at the entrance of the function room and saw a tall blonde girl wearing a red skin tight strapless long dress, she is so beautiful with her big brown eyes, perfectly plucked eye brows, small nose and red pouty lips. She has the perfect body, not-so big boobs, and perfect eyes, her skin looks like porcelain. I think I saw her once but I can’t seem to remember where. She was walking gracefully towards are direction, I was watching her every move and I was surprised when she appeared in front of Carter, cupped his face and totally made out with him. . . in front of me.

Chapter Eight

My head is hurting like hell when I reached school the next day, the charity event ended at two in the morning and Carter bought a weekend getaway to Palm Springs for $20,000. I didn’t get enough sleep because the image of Adriana Krueger keeps on playing in my mind all night. Adriana is a lingerie model, that’s the reason she looked familiar to me. I saw her being cover on national magazines, she is very famous in Hollywood, she had cameo roles on different TV shows and movies and she is called as the Queen of Print Media. She is also Carter’s childhood sweetheart, they grew up together in Hollywood Hills and they attended the same high school and they both attended Stanford University. Everyone is rooting for them to end up together. I never asked Carter about her and he never offered any explanation either. I was curious about her but it didn’t feel right to ask, maybe because it is still unclear to me the real relationship I have with Carter.

I took the available spot in the parking area that was near the building. I wasn’t feeling well so I don’t want to walk too far. Carter was still sleeping when I left the house earlier. Maybe, he is too tired to go to work today, which is fine for him since he owns the company. I planned on staying home too, but I didn’t want to miss my class, each day I spent at school is important. I am back with my sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers outfit. I am not in the mood to dress up to something fancy. I don’t care if I look like a freaking lesbian. All I want right now is to take my mind off the super gorgeous Adriana Krueger.

“Bitch,”

I was walking my way to class when I heard Brooke’s loud squeal. She is our other friend, she tan, pretty like doll with big hazel eyes, pinkish lips and small nose. Her face is so smooth and she is always smiling. She wears eye glasses that she said make her look intelligent. She lives in Beverly Hills not too far from Carter’s, and she loves calling everyone a bitch, not the bad kind of bitch but just an expression and she doesn’t mean it at all.

“Hey,” I said bluntly.

She crooks her arm on my arm and we walked our way to the auditorium.

“So, what’s with the mood?” she asked as we sat on our usual seats. “Oh, let me guess, it’s the kiss from the charity event last night,” she said widening her eyes.

“How’d you know about that?”I asked. “We’re you there?”

She gave me a teasing smile.

“Well, I wasn’t but my parents where there, I don’t like going to those events, they’re boring as hell, but I saw the local news paper this morning.” She said, “You look stunning in that sparkling blue dress,”

I didn’t know it was on the morning tabloid, I never got the time to check the news paper before I left the house, I didn’t even bother to eat breakfast or even have coffee because of my head hurting, I don’t know if it because of I lack sleep or it’s because of Adriana Krueger.

I sighed as I opened the book I was reading for the paper I have due next week. I don’t want to talk about Carter and that model.

“So, you’re boyfriend and Adriana Krueger is an item now?” she asked, not getting the hint that I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Among all of us three; Christy, Brooke and I, Brooke is always the last person to get things we want to say to each other. We need to elaborate and explain it further to her so she can get what we are meaning. Though, she is the most beautiful between the three of us but that’s all she got, she is beauty and wealth no brain, Christy is Beauty, a bit of a brain and a bit of wealth and I was beauty and brain but no wealth. I maybe driving a Bentley but I didn’t buy it with my own money.

I closed the book and turned to her.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I corrected her.

“Oh, come on, you’re living with him, sleeping on the same bed, for sure you two are having steamy sex every night so that makes the two of you in a relationship,” she explained.

That’s true.

“Well, he’s paying for my school and other expenses, I guess I should give him something in return but that doesn’t mean we are together or something,” I told her.

“Well, point taken. But he bought you a Bentley, I think that means he likes you,” she pointed out.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to avoid the topic and just stop the conversation right there. I don’t like what I am feeling towards this whole Carter and Adriana thing. I don’t own Carter but why do I feel like I was jealous. Well, there are a lot of things that you should be jealous about Adriana, she is beautiful, rich, a public figure, she looks like a princess. Last night before we left the house I thought I was Cinderella, but when I got to the venue and Adriana appeared in front of me wearing her red dress and walking graciously around the place I suddenly felt like I was Marilyn and she was Jackie. I was embarrassed and ashamed of being there all night, trying to fit in with those gorgeous and wealthy people where I am nothing but a teenage girl who ran away from home.

I know I was jealous, admit it or not I am, Carter made me feel I was the only one and I never felt being an outsider when I’m with him not until last night, not until Adriana Krueger came in the picture.

 

 

The day ended without me noticing it, Brooke and Christy invited me to a party at the beach, the sorority is having a party and all the members are allowed to have a plus one. Both of them are members and they were encouraging me to join, I told them I was considering it but I really don’t have any plans of joining them. My head still hurts so I told them I can’t go out with them tonight. It’s already 8 in the evening and Carter called me earlier asking where I am. I replied that I was still at school and my class ended late. He offered to pick me up but I told him I can drive on my own.

I took the pathway going to the parking area where I left my Bentley, I feel exhausted even though I didn’t really do anything at school. I just sat on my desk all day, didn’t bother to check the library or participate in class but I feel like I ran a mile or spent 3 hours on the treadmill.

I unlocked the Bentley and was about to get inside the car when a red convertible flashes in front of me. I shut my eyes closed when the bright lights of the car directed towards me. The lights were off so I took it as a chance to open my eyes and I saw Adriana Krueger getting off the convertible looking like a goddess wearing a black leather short dress that hugs her curves perfectly. A sudden envy feeling grew inside my chest when I notice how small her waist is, she is the perfect definition of a real life Barbie Doll.

“Jillian Winters, right?”

She emphasized my name with her natural Californian accent. Now I regret not dressing up cause I look like her freaking maid. Her shoulder length black hair shines through the moonlight while I have my hair in a super messy bun. I didn’t even remember going to the ladies room today to at least check myself out. I know I look so pale cause of not bothering to put any color on my face.

I nodded when I notice her slightly raising her brow waiting for my answer.

“Hi, I’m Adriana Krueger,”

I was hesitant to shake her hands after she let it out to me but I did anyway, I want to tell her that she doesn’t need to introduce herself to me because I know who she is and as a matter of fact, I have been thinking about her all day even if I didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry about my intrusion last night, I just got back from Europe yesterday morning to attend the auction and I didn’t know Carter brought his new toy.” She chuckled.

I admired how calm and soft she speaks, you won’t even feel you are being insulted already. A toy? Did she think I am Carter’s toy? What am I? A thing? Ridiculous.

“What do you mean?”

She smiled softly at me. People are staring at us, she looked around and waived to the people passing by with the usual beautiful smile on her face.

“I’m sorry, I guess Carter didn’t tell you, well let me do it for him,” she said still keeping her smile. “Carter gets girls from god-knows-where and he keeps them as his toys, you know big boys and their toys, he’s giving them gifts and all the luxury he has. But Carter gets bored easily and he always comes back to one person only,” she left out a slight evil laugh. “Of course that’s me, Carter and I are soul mates, we were inseparable, people love us together and his dad wants me to be the only carrier of their last name. This is not a threat honey, it’s more of a favor that I am doing for you, because the girls before you fell head over heels for him and were left like a trash after.”

She didn’t wait for me to respond instead she leaned forward and kissed both of my cheeks.

“See you around sweetie,”

Then she got in her car and drove away. I was left there glued to where I was standing unable to move. I don’t know if I believed what she said to me, there are a lot of things running to my mind and I am confused as hell. I don’t know how I got to this situation. I feel like crying. My chest hurts as if I was stabbed by a knife. Is she telling me truth? Am I just a toy for Carter? But why did he bring me here? Is this temporary for the both of us? Will I be left like a trash like the others too? I am completely clueless.

Adriana is really an actress, she did act very well, and she talked to me like as if we’re friends even though the words that came out of her mouth were insults. She kept the smile on her face to keep the others from suspecting I am being insulted. I thought coming to California will be the fresh start that I have been waiting for but it looks like I was wrong after all. I’ve been here not more than a month and I am certainly not Cinderella, and I will never be.

 

 

I decided to just go with Brooke and Christy at the beach party of their sorority. After hearing what Adriana Krueger told me, the last thing I want right now is to go home. I don’t know how to act around Carter knowing that he looks at me like I am such a toy, though it’s not confirmed if Adriana is telling the truth or not but I don’t have the courage to talk to him yet. It is so hard for me to deal with this situation not knowing my real role on Carter’s life. I didn’t want him to worry about me so I called him and told him I am going out with my friends. It was obvious on his voice that he didn’t like the idea but he agreed anyway. I can’t talk to him yet, I can’t even face him. God I am such a coward.

I drove my car with Christy on my side leading me the way. Brooke brought her mini cooper and told us to meet her there. The party is already starting when we reached the beach. The loud sound coming from the huge speakers is deafening. There are a lot of familiar faces in the party. Some are from our class while others are from other class. I walked with Christy since Brooke isn’t here yet. She knows about the Carter thing too since it was printed on the morning news but she didn’t ask about it. I like how sensitive she is about the things I didn’t want to talk about anymore.

“I’m glad you came,” she said,

We were at the other side of the beach a bit away from the party and I was sitting on the sand hugging my knees while she remained standing beside me because she was wearing a sun dress. The wind is cold making me hugged myself tighter.

“Yeah, I don’t want to go home yet,” I said.

I’ve never been to this kind of party or should I say I’ve never been in a party at all. Dan never allowed me to join any kind of school activities, besides I never had any friends so parties never caught my interest.

“Still caught up with the Adriana thing?”

On our way here, I told her about what Adriana told me, Christy can understand way better than Brooke. I really didn’t want to tell anyone about it but it was suffocating me if I won’t let it out and Christy is the only person I thought can be reliable.

“I don’t know, I didn’t want to be caught between the two of them, I don’t have any idea what kind of relationship they have and I don’t know what my stand here.” I said biting my lip keeping myself not to break down.

My chest still hurts and I don’t even know why.

“Why don’t you just talk to Carter?”

I gave her a shaky sigh.

“I can’t ask him, I don’t want to ask him, maybe because I was afraid that what Adriana told me is true? I don’t know.” I sob. “I am sorry, I know this should be a party and I am ruining the mood.”

 “Don’t mind it, you know what, let’s drink to it,”

Then she offered her hand and helped me to stand up and we walked to the group of people sitting around the huge bon fire. She introduced me to a couple of girls and boys there and Christy handed me a foam cup with a beer on it. I drank it and the sudden heat I felt on my throat almost took away the pain in my chest. Brooke is still nowhere to be found, Christy said that she might hooking up with someone already. We sat on the giant log tree beside another brunette named Jessica. They were all nice to me and I didn’t notice that while I was busy chitchatting with the people around me I shifted from the red cup foam to a bottle of beer and I was already having too much to drink.

 

 

A couple of hours later, I was feeling the heat on my face, my eye sight is blurry and I feel cold hands on my waist. I am still sitting on the giant log but Christy is no longer beside me, instead my head is rested on some guy’s shoulder whom I can’t really picture his face.

“You okay, baby?” he asked in a husky voice.

I can still hear the loud sound coming from the speakers and the hot breath coming from the mouth of the guy beside me. He smells like beer and garlic. My cell phone rang again, I have been hearing it earlier but I was too weak to pick it from my pocket.

“My phone,” I said.

“Where is it?” the boy asked.

“In my pocket,”

He leaned closer to me and reached for my pockets. The phone continues to ring and when he got it, he pressed a button the screen and put it on my ear.

“Hello, Jillian,”

I shut my eyes out because his loud voice on my ear is giving me a headache.

“Where are you? Do you know what time is it?” he snapped.

He sounded like my daddy.

“At the beach,” I answered.

I know my voice is slurring, even the drunk me can hear that.

“Did you drink?”

“A little,”

“God, I am coming to get you,”

I wasn’t able to respond because I can’t really take the pain in my head anymore. I don’t know if it was Carter who cut the line or if it was me.

I tried my best to stand up but my knees are too weak to support my weight, I almost fell on the ground when the boy beside me catch me just right before I made my fall.

“Come here,”

He held me on my waist and I rested my head on his chest. I feel so weak and my muscle seemed to die after I drank a couple of beers. The boy led me to the dark part of the beach where the cars are parked.

“Where are we going?” I asked in a slurry tone.

My eyes are closed, I feel so hot everywhere and I can’t walk straight.

“Shhh, don’t worry I’ll take care of you,” he whispered.

The guy continued to lead me to a place I don't have any idea about. I feel so light like a paper, but my head is heavy like a cannon ball.

“Come here,” I heard him say after a while.

He lifted me from my waist and sat me on a hard cold metal. When I opened my eyes, we are in a very dark place, and I was sitting on the bed of a rusty old pickup truck.

“You know, you are so beautiful even in the dark.” He whispered to my ear.

Even though I was dizzy and my head hurts like hell I still felt his warm breath on my ear. It did give me shiver down my spine but not the good shiver I used to feel with Carter.

Then he just started kissing my face, leaving saliva on my skin, I tried to push him but my arms are too weak to even move. I know what he is trying to do and he made me remember Dan.

“No,” I shouted but it came out a whisper.

“Shhh, this is just very quick.” He said.

He puts his hands on my waist trying to pull my sweatshirt over my head and he was way stronger than me so he was able to take it off of me very quickly. I am trying my best to push him away but it seems like he isn’t even feeling my strength on him. He reached for my jeans and he immediately unbuttoned it and pulled it from my legs.

“N-no. . . please no. . .” I beg.

The cold wind coming from the beach gave me immediate goose bumps on my almost naked body. The only I have left are my under garments. I felt his cold hand on my waist again and his disgusting lips on my skin. My head is working but my body is dead, it doesn’t even want to move. I am very weak, even opening my mouth is too hard for me. I don’t know what was put on my drink that made be weak as a baby.

“Jillian!!!”

I tried my best to open my eyes when I heard the familiar voice of Carter. I don’t know if I was dreaming but a sudden feeling of hope in my chest.

“God, Jillian, are you okay?”

When he came right in front of me, I knew I wasn’t dreaming, I knew I am safe now. Carter is here and there’s no can harm me.

“You’re here,” I told him weakly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck before I completely lost conscious.

 

 

I woke up the next morning with a headache and heavy eyes. I was on the bed wearing one of the hundred pairs of PJ’s Carter bought for me. Carter is no longer beside me, I don’t remember much of what happened to me last night, all I know was I went to the beach party Christy invited me to and got drunk pretty bad and I also remembered Carter picking me up.

I glanced on the digital clock on the wooden table beside the bed; it’s three in the afternoon. God! I missed school. I wonder if Carter went to work today. It’s Friday, so I guess he did. I hope he did because I don’t know what to tell him, I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I don’t know where to start.

I was getting off the bed the door opened. I guess I was wrong after all. He didn’t go to work because he is here standing in front of me wearing a black boxer shorts without top on. His chests were perfectly tanned and his hair was wet. I don’t know if he have gone to shower or he went swimming cause there was a white towel hanging on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” he said and made his way towards me.

I sat still on the bed, didn’t attempt to get off anymore, I guess it’s time for me to face the music. I avoided him the best that I can yesterday and I don’t think I can still do that especially now that he is standing half naked in front of me.

He sat beside me. There was a moment of silence between us. I think he is trying to gauge the mood. I don’t think he’s mad but I can’t read if he’s not. I took a deep shaky breath.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I apologized,

Sorry was the only word I was able to come up with. He reached for my hand but still didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I added.

He took one deep breath.

“I didn’t like how you behaved last night Jillian,” he said, the disappointment on his tone is too obvious not to notice. “. . . but I was more concern about you, god I really want to kill that motherfucker,” he added in gritted teeth.

Then I remember the boy who tried to take advantage of me. I am sober now but I still can’t figure how he looked like. I know he took me to a dark place and sat me on a rusty old truck then I remember Carter showing up from god-knows-where and then I lost memory of what happened after that.

“He tried to rape you,” he’s angry. “I really want to kill him but Marcus stopped me.”

My heart beat so fast, I have never seen Carter this angry, his face is so red I am afraid what he did with that boy. I held his hand so tight, hoping it will calm him even a bit.

“What did you do to him?” I asked when the color of his face went back to normal.

He smiled as he tightened the grip on my hand.

“I was able to punch him once and that’s it, Marcus pulled him away from me.” He chuckled. “Marcus said he wasn’t worth it,”

I nodded. Yes, he isn’t worth it. The boy is worthless while Carter has everything to lose and it will really kill me if Carter would be involved in a scandal that will ruin his image and his business.

“Yes, he isn’t” I said.

“Jillian, I know something is bothering you,” he said in a serious tone. “I don’t understand what changed your mind about going home and going to the party last night, I know you’re young and sometimes you are curious about it but last night wasn’t all about partying, it was something else.”

I didn’t realize that for just more than a month that we have been living together he was able to know when something is bothering me or not. I don’t know if I should tell him about what Adriana Krueger told me yesterday that made didn’t want to go home and face him.

“Is this about Ade?” he asked.

Well, I guess there is no need to think it over if I should tell him or not.

“It’s about her, right?”

I gave him a slight nod. I need to be brave and tell him what Adriana Krueger told me. This is the time where I should get a clear view on what is really going on and who really is Adriana Krueger in Carter Greene’s life.

I swallowed the lump that kind of stuck in my throat. I need to voice my thoughts out in order for me to get the answers to my questions.

“Yesterday, after I got off the phone with you, Adriana Krueger came in front of me with her sparkling red convertible and her sparkling self.” I always call her with her full name, I don’t know why but I can’t seem to call just by her name, it doesn’t seem right to me. “He told me things about you and . . . .  your . . . um . . . toys” I was thankful when I finished my sentence without stuttering completely.

He shook his head, not really happy about what he just heard.

“The girls I’ve been with are the toys she was referring too?” he asked.

I nodded. A nod is enough to confirm it. So Adriana Krueger is indeed telling the truth, Carter had been with a lot of girls. The pain that I became familiar with crept into my chest again.

“She told me I will end up like them,” I said, trying to grasp the right words to say, “She said that you always leave them like trash.”

He shook his head. The irritation is obvious on his face.

“If. . .” I took a shaky breath. “If I will be treated like that,” the pain in my chest is really getting into me and it’s making me breath hard. “. . . then I’d rather just go back to Keith,”

He put his hands on my waist and sat me on his lap. He cupped my face and slightly forced me to meet his gaze.

“Adriana had this habit of talking to girls I go out with since we broke up before our college graduation, she tells them awful things but none of them are true,” he explained. “I’ve been with different girls and I am not going to deny that, but I never treated anyone a trash, all the relationships I have in the past ended mutually, sometimes I initiated it, sometimes it’s the girl who wanted out. I am not perfect after all, not everyone wants to be with me, I guess.” He chuckled.

“So you and Adriana Krueger had a relationship?” I asked trying to confirm the obvious.

He nodded.

“We grew up together and our dads were the best of friends. They were all sort of rooting for us, we are always together, we have the same circle of friends, since she was the head cheerleader and I was part of the varsity team so all the while I had this feeling of obligation that I needed to be with her all the time, I needed to be there to care of her to make my dad and her dad happy,” he let out a tired sigh. “Until before college ends, I had the realization that all I feel for her is platonic, I never imagined my future with her, it was all an obligation so I had to end it, I know it broke her heart so after graduation, she flew to Paris and studied modeling, a couple of years ago, she went back and started a career in Hollywood and now she is the famous Adriana Krueger. I managed to bring the friendship back and I have been aware what she has been doing about the girls that get linked to me, I never confronted her for it because I thought it was her released to get even to me and that she’ll move on from me eventually but I was wrong. I didn’t see any of it coming that fast, not right after the night she laid her eyes on you.”

He pulled me closer to him by hugging me so tight.

“I’m sorry you had to go through her that way, so don’t worry nothing like that will happen again. I promised.” He said as he buried his face on my neck.

I can see sincerity & truthfulness in his eyes but I feel it’s not enough, maybe because I like to hear straight from him the reason behind his generosity, his kindness and his passion.

“What’s wrong? You don’t have to be bothered by her, I’ll talk to her okay?” he said noticing the sadness on my face.

“Carter, I wanted to ask you something,”

He pulled up and faces me.

“What is it?”

I took another deep breath, I know I shouldn't be asking this but the reason why I wasn't able to say anything to Adriana Krueger is because I don’t have any idea on what we really are. Adriana Krueger ate me alive yesterday and I just stood her taking it all in.

“Why did you take me here?” I asked bravely.

He smiled widely as if I just told him a joke but I was so damn serious.

“I thought before you flew here to LA everything was clear to you,” he said, still smiling. “I brought you here because I like you and I want you, I don’t want seeing you on that club getting naked in front of someone else but me.” He licks his lips and I felt the familiar ache between my legs. “I am not supposed to say anything to you since you just got here and I don’t want to scare the hell out of you but I am going to say it anyway,” He cupped my face again pulling me closer to a quick kiss. “Jillian Winters you don’t have to worry about Ade or any other girl and I will never treat you like a trash simply because I am falling in love with you.”

I was shocked with his confession. Carter is falling in love with me? This isn't the answer I was actually waiting for. This is huge. There was never in my life that someone told me he is falling for me. I opened my mouth but closed it right away, I was trying to grasp for the right word to tell him but before I was able to come up with anything Carter’s lips crashes into mine. 

Chapter Nine

“No!”

I opened my eyes in horror. I am chasing my breath. I thought he found me but thank god I was only having a dream, a very bad dream. I glanced beside me and Carter is still sleeping like a baby. I get off the bed, walked towards the closet and grabbed the silk black robe hanging on the back of the closet door. I put it on to cover my almost naked since I was only wearing pink and black laced lingerie. After a couple of girl dates with Phoebe I learned how to dress myself up properly including wearing lingerie.

It was only four in the morning. I don’t know if I can still find my slumber after the dream I had about Dan. The dream started about the guy who tried to take advantage of me when I got drunk but when I opened my eyes to see his face, it was Dan. It has been a couple of months since I stopped having nightmares about him. I thought after a while I was able to completely move on from him. I still don’t know what really happened to him. I tried calling mom a couple of times but whenever she answers the phone I just hung up. I guess I still do not have the courage to talk to her and to really know what happened to them after I left town.

I made my way downstairs and went straight to the pool. The wind that blows outside is still cold. I don’t want to wake Carter so I decided to soak my feet on the pool. I haven’t told Carter about Dan and the life I had in St. Louis. I don’t know if I can tell him. After he told me he is falling for me he became even more romantic. He often brings me flowers and he calls me whenever we’re apart. I really appreciate the things he is doing for me but I still don’t know what I really feel about him. Yes, I got jealous with Adriana before but does that mean I was falling for him too? I hadn’t had that kind of feeling before, I never fall for someone, and though I liked someone but love I don’t think so.

Speaking of Adriana, I bumped into her a couple of times although, I know she intentionally came in my way, she was being the usual poker face bitter bitch. The kind of nice when Carter is around and when he isn’t she change her halo to horns.

The cold water gave me chills down my spine. It was still dark and the house is quiet as always.

I looked at my phone and sighed. Whenever I dreamt of Dan there is only one person who can make me feel safe: Nicole. I dialed her number while hoping that she is still awake and she was at home. We talked on the phone for a couple of times since I came here but lately I haven’t had the chance to ring her since I got so busy with school.

After the fourth ring she answered.

“Hey California Girl, how are you?”

I wasn’t able to help the smile that registered on my face when I heard Nicole’s high pitch cheery voice. God I missed her.

“I’m good, you?” I said trying to match her tone but I don’t think I was successful.

“Oh, what’s with the sad tone? Are you okay? Did Carter do something to you?” she panicked.

I immediately shook my head. I know she is worried and I hate that I had to put her into it.

“No, Carter and I are fine, I just . . . missed you,” I said trying to be cheery as possible.

I heard her took a deep breath.

“I know you Jillian, what’s wrong?”

I bit my lips, I am glad that despite the distance she still knows me when I am feeling uneasy.

“I have been having these dreams about Dan,” I said half-heartedly.

Making her worry about me is the last thing I want to do.

“Again? How often?” she asked.

I may not see her physically but I can imagine her concerned eyes while she tries to think of the best possible resolution to my problem.

“Almost every night this week, I don’t know why, I thought I’d stopped dreaming about him but ever since the night at the beach I kept on having nightmares.”

I think what the boy tried to do to me the night I got so drunk at the beach party triggered my memory of Dan to come back and haunt me.

“Yeah, me too. What happened to beach anyway?”

I told her about the incident on the beach, I even mentioned the thing about Adriana Krueger since she asked how I ended up at the beach. Nicole knows I am not a real party goer, so I had to start from the very beginning. She wasn’t very happy after I finished telling her my story.

“You shouldn’t really let yourself get out of control with parties like those. I know I often get drunk at parties but I only do that when I know I am surrounded by people who know me. Like my girls from St. Louis.” She lectured.

I nodded. I can’t argue with her because she is freaking right and I am an idiot. I talked to Christy the morning after and she said that she got drunk too and woke up the next morning lying on her own bed without any idea on who drove her home. Brooke was still MIA for three days after the party. I am still friends with them but I am definitely not going to come to their parties again.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“You should be,” she said with frustration. “Jillian, you need to be cautious of the things around you, I thought after going through a lot you learned how to become wiser. You cannot just trust people, I know I sound like your mom but I am just worried about you. I am not going to be there in times like that and you can never depend on Carter all the time. He may be rich and guarded but you have to keep an eye on yourself too.”

I nodded. I like the feeling of having someone who cared for me. She is even better than my mom. After she married Dan and started getting addicted to drugs, she stopped caring about me.

“Enough of me ranting on you,” she said taking a deep breath. “How’s Carter?”

“He’s fine. He’s good. And. . . . “I stopped.

“And then what?” she was left hanging.

I don’t know if I should tell her about what Carter told me, I haven’t told anyone about it yet. Not even Christy and Brooke cause until now it hasn’t sink in on me yet that he is falling in love with me.

“Jillian, I am waiting, spill it”

I sighed. She is the closest person I have. I consider her as my only family so I don’t think there is nothing wrong if I tell her.

“Carter said he is falling in love with me. . .” I dropped the bomb.

I heard her squeal.

“Oh my god! You rock girl! You had that hot bachelor fall for you. Wow, that’s even better than winning a lottery.” She said happily.

I smiled. Her energy is infectious knowing that it’s 4 in the morning and she was awake all night working at the club.

“You can rub in the face of that Adriana Krueger that you had the love of her life fall for you to get even,”

Of course, she isn’t a fan of Adriana Krueger either. I love her loyalty.

“But how about you? Do you feel the same?”

Nicole really know how to ask the right questions, is just that unfortunately I still don’t have that answer. Carter is a good guy, I know he is special and I care for him but love? I am still trying to figure that out. I haven’t been in love my whole life. I liked Max before but I wasn’t in love with him. I don’t even have any idea on how to know if someone is in love with another person. So I am completely clueless.

“I don’t know. I mean, I started to care for him, I get worried when isn’t home on the time that he should be and he hasn’t called me to inform he is coming late,” I said trying to figure it out. “Does that mean I am falling for him too?” I asked.

Nicole was silent for a while. I don’t know if she has a clue about it. I don’t think love struck her either.

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever felt love towards someone before so I really cannot help you on that part.” She giggled. “But you know what, I know it will come, Carter is a good guy, I guess”

“Yes, he is”

We still talked on the phone for the next hour. She told me about her life in Miami Beach. She still works with Keith but she got promoted, she is now the club designers who dress the girls up. She only needs to work like thrice a week. I am happy that she is happy with her life. I told her that I am still hoping that she will be back to school so she can get a fresh start too. She said, she isn’t interested but she will think about it. She also told me that she is still seeing the 40-ish business man. We ended the phone call when sleepiness drawn into her. I stayed at the pool for a couple more minutes before I decided to crawl back to bed beside the snoring Carter.

 

 

“Everything ready?”

I rub my eyes to keep them from falling as Carter watched Marcus to load up the compartment of his red Ferrari. It’s five freaking in the morning and I am still sleepy as hell. Carter and I are going to Palm Springs for the $20,000 weekend getaway he bought from the charity event last month. He finally had some spare time from the office and I wasn’t really busy with school stuff so I agreed that this is the best weekend to book the trip.

“Yeah, but I am still sleepy though,” I pouted.

He pulled me into him and I smelled his usual body wash that immediately soothes my nose. He is wearing white linen buttoned down shirt that he folded the sleeves on his elbow paired with a khaki cargo shorts and a combination of gray and off white Sperry Top-Sider shoes.

“You can sleep on the road,” he said and kisses my hair.

His ray ban eyeglasses slightly press on my head. He put his hand on my waist as we wait for the car to be loaded up. I was wearing a floral spaghetti strap sundress and pair of black T-strap flat sandals and my eyes are also covered with my own ray ban sunglasses. I am starting to get used to the always sunny weather here is LA.

“Mr. Greene, everything is good.” Marcus said as he stood still in front of Carter.

Carter nodded.

“Thank you Marcus.”

Marcus opened the door of the passenger side and Carter motioned me to get in. So I did. He walked towards the driver seat and gets himself in. Marcus offered to drive us but Carter refused, he said he wanted to have this vacation just for the two of us. Besides the drive to Palm Springs will only be for two hours or so.

“I don’t want any distraction for the weekend Marcus and please take care of everything here.” Carter said from the car window.

Marcus nodded with eagerness and stepped back as Carter started the engine. I am a bit excited about this trip. I have never been to Palm Springs before. “I’m glad you agreed with it,” he said as we got into the road.

“I don’t have much to do in school anyway, besides I know you need this trip too.” I told him.

He slightly squeezed my leg and held the hand that I rested on my lap. I am aware about the delay on the hotel construction they have in Colorado and how much stress that project was giving him.

“Yeah, I really need to get out of town for a couple of days and its really nice that I have you with me.”

I smiled and gave him a slight nod. He let go of my hand and focus on the road.

“Get some sleep baby,” he whispered.

I nodded and then I closed my eyes trying to find my slumber.

 

 

“Baby, were here,”

I opened my eyes as I heard the husky voice of Carter who is trying to wake me up. When I looked around, we are already on the hotel entrance. We are waiting for our turn since there are a couple more cars on the line before ours. I sat straight as we waited for our turn. I fell asleep on entire time Carter was driving our way here. I checked myself on the rear view mirror making sure I don’t look like a mess. I also started to get curious on how I look. Carter is business tycoon not to mention a gorgeous bachelor so as his girlfriend, yes I said it clear I am his girlfriend so I needed to look nice all the time especially whenever we are together.

“You look beautiful, you don’t need to be conscious and you’re just perfect the way you are” he said as he ran his finger through my blonde locks.

I smiled and whispered him a thank you. The valet attendant opened the passenger door and greeted me with his warm smile. He is wearing a white long sleeve that was buttoned up until his neck, a bow tie and black slacks pants. Another valet attendant went to the driver side and opened Carter’s door. They talked for a while before they started to unload the trunk and took our luggage to the cart. The name Riviera Palm Springs Resorts and Spa is legibly carved on the every wooden board at the side of the place. Carter handed his keys to the attendant and walked over to me. He knots his fingers into mine and pulled me inside the hotel.

“You don’t own this place do you?” I asked.

“No,” he shook his head. “Sometimes it’s nice to go to hotels that I don’t own. It’s sort of refreshing.” He added.

I was amused by his answer. I didn’t know staying at the hotel that you own can be exhausting too.

He led me towards the reception area where a gorgeous petite brunette greeted us dearly.

“Good Morning Sir, Ma’am, welcome to Riviera Palm Springs Resorts and Spa, how can I help you?” she greeted us with her warm smile.

She sounded like the customer service over the phone.

“We have a reservation, Carter Greene and Jillian Winters.” Carter answered.

“One moment sir,”

I remained quiet standing beside Carter while the girl turned her eyes on the computer. She occasionally licks her lips and look at Carter with her smile that started to annoy me. It seems like she is trying to flirt with him. Unfortunately Carter didn’t even glance her way as we wait instead he keeps on pulling me closer to him and occasionally kiss my hair. I hope she gets the signal.

“I just need some identification Sir” the receptionist said after a while.

Carter took his license from his wallet and so did I. I handed him my license and he gave them to the receptionist.

“I just need to have this photocopied sir, please have a seat,” the girl as she pointed us to the waiting area.

We walked towards the waiting area hand in hand and sat on the sofa. I looked around the place. The hotel has a modern Mediterranean interior, the chandelier are nice and sparkling. There happy faces paintings hanging on the wall and they’re kind of entertaining. This is way different from the hotels that Carter owns. This place is much simpler than his fancy hotels.  The receptionist came back from the back office with a couple of papers on her hand. She gave Carter her annoying smile again. Gosh! She didn’t get the signal at all.

Carter pulled me and led me back to the reception area.

“Mr. Greene, we have a Marquee One Bedroom Suite reserved for you and your companion for the weekend, this includes breakfast for two and used of all our facilities like the outdoor pool, gym and the bar.” She told Carter, it seems like I don’t exist with her. “Here is your key sir and if you need anything just call us using the directory you will find in your suite.”

“Thank you,”

“Enjoy your stay at Riviera Palm Springs Resorts and Spa”

Carter gave her a slight nod. I am a bit thankful because he didn’t give her any interest before he pulled me to the elevator. I am aware how attracted Carter is and when we became official I started to be a bit possessive of him. I get annoyed to the girls who try so hard to get his attention, lucky for me Carter’s eyes only sees me and no one else. Adriana Krueger is still around and she made sure to let me know her snide remarks every time she gets the chance but I am getting used to her presence and her bitterness and I’d rather keep quiet than start a fight with her.

Our suite was on the third floor and the room number 3115. Carter swipes the card key on the door handle and gets us inside. Upon entering the room a neatly carpeted living came after our eyes. There are two single white sofas on the left side, a brown leathers sofa opposite the single ones and a white oblong foam center table. There is a flat screen television hanging on the wall opposite the couches. There are also 2 wooden chairs not too far away from the couches and a rounded glass table in between, beside it was sliding door going to the balcony where you can see the view outside and a lot of Palm Trees. The suite was nice and the walls are painted alternate white and brown. The black flooring is accentuated with white circle prints.  On the right side was the door going to the room, there is a king size bed in the middle of the room, there two pink and red stripes pillows and two more plain white pillows on top of the bed that was covered with white sheet while the bed case is brown. There are also two white wooden drawers on each side of the bed with two nightstands on top of it beside the night stand on the left was a digital clock while a cordless telephone system on the right. There is also a single couch near the left drawer and desk and chair not too far away from the couch, on the right side was another sliding door going towards another balcony.  There was a small hallway from the left side going to the bathroom.

I laid my back on the bed, it’s only eight in the morning and I still feel sleepy even though I slept on our way here.

I heard Carter was talking to the hotel attendant who brought our luggage, after a while the attendant left and Carter walked inside the room and sat beside me.

“Still sleepy baby?” he looked down and gave me a peck on the lips.

I gave him a slight nod.

“You’re not sleepy?” I asked.

He lay beside me and his face looking to my direction while I kept mine on the ceiling.

“I am,” he smiled. “I also woke up at four remember” he joked.

He rested his hand on my stomach and buried his face on my neck nuzzling my hair.

“It was your idea to drive at five in the morning,” I corrected.

He smiled and breathes my scent.

“Cause I don’t want to drive in the afternoon cause we only have a night to stay here, tomorrow evening we have to go back since they’ll need me in the office by Monday and you have class too.” He explained. “You know how much I want to spend time with you,”

I took a deep breath. When he gets this romantic I suddenly lost the right words to respond to him. Until now my feelings for Carter is still unclear. It was kind of funny because when Carter didn’t clear what is the real status of our relationship I was clueless and confused but now that he told me loud and clear that he is falling for in love with me, it is me that cannot seem to figure out what I really feel for him.

“Me too,” I whispered, not really sure if I meant it or not.

“I’m starving,” he said.

He ran his fingers on my bare legs since my sundress was pulled up when I laid down. I remember we only had coffee this morning and we weren’t able to get food on the road since I fell asleep.

“Me too, we only had coffee earlier.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, why don’t we get something to eat?”

“Good idea,” I agreed cause I am hungry myself.

“Do you want to go out and check the place or let’s have room service for now?” he asked.

I thought for a while, I am still too exhausted to go out. Since I lived when Carter I forgot how to be a morning person cause he prefers to stay in bed and cuddle instead of preparing breakfast.

“Let’s just stay here for a while,” I said. “Let’s see what they got here,” I sat on the bed and reached for the menu on the bed side table.

My dress was pulled up even higher showing my pink panties and Carter took the opportunity to caress my legs.

“I don’t think I like food right now.” He whispered.

He pulled me on my waist and placed me on his lap his hands caressing the small of my back. I immediately felt his erection through the soft fabric in between my legs. Heat explodes through my body.

“I thought you’re starving,” I squealed as he started kissing my neck.

“I am hungrier to have you than food.”

 Then he threw the menu on the floor and pushed me on the bed and placed himself on top of me. I may be confused with my real feelings towards him but I know one thing Carter and I are happy with what we have right now.

The whole afternoon Carter and I just stayed on our suite taking a nap and cuddling in bed. We had food delivered to us at lunch and took another nap until twilight. Six PM when the sun finally set we decided to go out and head to the hotel spa to relax. Carter had his Swedish massage while I chose Thai for myself. We fell asleep as we were being treated with different body cream. Carter met a couple of old men and invited him to play golf on the near course. He wasn’t into golf but he couldn’t say no to the old men. So I was left on the spa and had some waxing and then I went back to the suite after. Within the next hour Carter came back and we went to Palm Springs downtown to have some decent dinner. The statue of Marilyn Monroe was amazing and it kind of ironic to see her there since just a couple of weeks ago I was comparing myself to her.

“Did you like your food?” Carter asked after we’re done eating.

I wiped my mouth with the napkin and I gave him a slight nod.

“It’s delicious” I answered happily.

I really like the buttered shrimp that was served to me while Carter chose to have pasta with clams as his dinner. Carter also ordered a bottle of wine for us.

“More wine?”

I nodded again. I also started liking wine since I constantly go with him to formal events where they mostly serve wine and champagne. I am really getting used to the luxurious life of the local Californians especially those from Beverly Hills.

My body feels really relaxed and the massage treatment really calms my nerves. I also had my nails done. I put a neon blue color on both my finger and toenails. The manicurist said neon is what’s in nowadays.

Carter asked for the check and paid for our dinner. We walked out of the seafood restaurant with his fingers laced through mine. We didn’t bring the car, I told him it’s to have a walk every now and then besides it’s not even 20 minutes from the hotel. Carter gladly obliged.

We looked around the place and I was entertained by the colorful lights and the loud music coming from the bars.

“You wanna go inside?” he asked as we passed by the long line of bars.

I shook my head. After what happened to me at the beach party, the last thing I want to do is drink and get myself drunk again. Wine was fine since it only contains a couple percent of alcohol content. I always carry Nicole’s words with me.

“Nope, I won’t go back to letting myself drunk again” I said shaking my head.

Carter’s face turned from cocky to serious. Didn’t he like what I said? Did I go back to memory lane? I know he’s still upset about what happened to me at the beach party.

“Jillian, I want to talk to you about something,”

I suddenly felt nervous, the only time Carter got this serious was when he was talking me into coming with him here in California.

I gave him a slight nod. My heart started beating faster than it should be. He stopped walking and unlaced our fingers and put his hands on my arms.

“I know that you were getting nightmares, I get to wake up too and I know that you do go outside to calm yourself” he said with concern in his eyes.

I swallowed. All along I thought he was just sleeping whenever I go outside to get some fresh air after each nightmare I get.

“Tell me what happen in those dreams,” he said squeezing my hand tightly.

I haven't told him about Dan or about my life in St. Louis. I thought I will be able to carry on spending everyday with him without having to mention my past but I guess I was wrong and Carter is my family now so I think he has the right to know.

“Those dreams are about my stepfather,” I started.

He looked at me with so much concern in his eyes but he remained silent.

“Since I was thirteen I have been molested by my stepfather.”

“God, Jillian, I'm sorry!”

Carter pulled me into his arms and embraced me so tight. He thought that talking about my past on the road is not a good idea so he called for the hotel shuttle to bring us back to our suit. Once we got into the room, we lay down on the bed, his hand resting on my stomach while I told everything. From Dan being nice at first and until the time Nicole and I ran away. I broke down a couple of times as I told him my story and all he did was listen and hug me into his arms.

 “Jillian, I know what you've been through is fucking hard and honestly right now I really want to kill your stepfather and smack your mother in the head so she can wake up and see the reality of what her husband really is.” he said angrily.

I squeezed his palm. I really appreciate all the concern he has for me but I don't want him to feel upset about my mother and Dan. Besides, I am not even sure if Dan is still alive.

“You don't have to do that, I am fine,” I assured him. “I am free and Dan will never ever touch me again.”

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself.

“Do you want to go back to Missouri?” he asked. “I can go with you, we can bring Marcus and the guys, I'll make sure no one will ever harm you, I promised.”

I shook my head. I have been thinking about that since I lived in Florida but I know I am not ready, I can't even make a simple phone call to know how my mom is doing. I know in my heart that I am still afraid, afraid that I might get locked up there again. Admit it or not I still am.

“I've thought about that a million times but I'm not ready to step my foot up there again. I'm sorry,”

He pulled me into a tight embraced.

“It's okay baby, you don't have to say sorry. We'll go there once you're ready.”

“Thank you.”

He pressed his lips to mine. I feel safe just to be with his arms and I hope one day I can find the courage to go back home.

 

 

Carter and I decided to just sleep the night at the hotel instead of going out again. I slept with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and warm. I didn't dream of anything and for the first time in weeks since I started dreaming of Dan again I had the most peaceful sleep. The next morning, Sunday Carter decided to drive back to Beverly Hills instead of staying another night in Palm Springs. He said that it's better for us to go home so that we can still rest but I know that he is still worried about me. Since I told him my past he looks at me with so much concern in his eyes. He thinks of me like I am some sort of porcelain vase that needs to take care of or else I might break and he might not put me back again. He also suggested or I should say he demanded me to see a shrink. I refused about the idea, assuring him that I am fine and there's no need for me to see one but he insisted and I didn't want to argue with him so I just took a deep breath and nodded.

We hit the road in the morning and before lunch we are back home, Marcus and the guys aren't at home when we got here. Carter said that he had them took the day off since the original plan was to stay in Palm Springs for the whole weekend.

We spent the rest of the day at home. Martha took the day off too so I volunteered to cook for us for lunch. I made spaghetti since that's the easiest and less time consuming recipe I know. Carter is starving and wanted to have pizza delivered but I don't like takeout food. Besides my spaghetti is much delicious than takeout pizza.

We ate our lunch in silence. Carter occasionally hold my hand keeping me close to him. I don't know but telling him my story made him anxious that something will happen to me.

“Carter, I am fine, don't worry too much okay?”

I wasn't able to continue the day having him around me acting very unusual.

“I'm sorry,” he said taking a deep breath.

We are on our room, lying on our bed trying to take a nap to pass time.

“I just want to make you safe all the time.” he added.

I turned my body to face him.

 “I am safe, please don’t act like I am different. I am still the same, I've been trying to forget my past but if you keep on acting like I need babysitting then it will only make me remember everything.” I said. “I am going to talk to Dr. Sullivan, she'll help me so please take your mind off it.”

He nodded.

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way.”

He scooted over me and hugs me so tight burying his face on my neck. A sudden heat runs through my body as his warm breath touches my skin. We hadn't had sex last night since he was acting strange about my whole story. I did want him though, last night and even right now but I didn't push it. I just let him sleep beside me as I find my own slumber.

Around three o'clock when we woke up, I wanted to make something special for dinner but the stocks weren't enough and since Martha isn't here, I asked Carter to drive me to the grocery so we can shop for supplies. At first he was being grumpy, insisting that we just dine out for dinner tonight and just let Martha take care of the house supply but when I pushed for the idea and gave him a couple of puppy faces he finally agreed.

We used his BentleyMulsanne to go to the nearest supermarket. Aside from lacking grocery supplies, another reason why I asked him to drive me to shop is because I want his mind to shift to different things. I want him to forget my past even for a while. Not even more than ten minutes when we reached the Whole Foods Market. After getting a parking space we got off his Bentley and we hand in hand made our way inside the supermarket.

It's my first time there, so I wonder where I can find the vegetable section. The place is just too big to see everything from the entrance.

“I wonder where the veggies are,” I said

“I've never been here, so don't ask me.” he said smiling and shaking his head.

I rolled my eyes at him.

“I am not asking you, I am talking to myself.” I joked.

He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my hair.

“Then it's really a good idea that you are meeting Dr. Sullivan”

I elbow him on the chest as we continue to check the stalls.

After I got everything I need for the roasted chicken and vegetable salad I am making we went back to the house. Carter is still acting grumpy and bored but I know he did enjoy our supermarket escapade.

I finished cooking just right before seven and we ate dinner while he tells me about his plan for another hotel expansion in Paris. Hopefully, by the next three years he can finish the construction.

We went to bed early cause he was exhausted from driving all day. He needs to be in the office early in the morning while my class doesn't start until after lunch I have an appointment with Dr. Sullivan at nine.

I took a deep breath as I stood in front of a mahogany door at the eleventh floor of a huge Medical building. Dr. Ashley M. Sullivan M.D. is perfectly carved on the door.

This is it. I took another deep breath. I don't know what is waiting for me here. I am not even sure why I am here. All I know is that I am here because Carter wants me to.

I fixed myself by slightly pulling my floral dress and ran my fingers through my hair before knocking on the door. After three knocks a girl with a long black hair and big brown eyes greeted me.

“Hi, how can I help you?” she asked.

She was peaking on the door as she talks to me.

“I have an appointment with Dr. Sullivan,” I said not sure if I have everything right.

She nodded and opened the door completely.

“Come in, I'll check for your records.” she said as I walked inside the room.

Hazel was on her name tag. She is Dr. Sullivan's medical secretary. She went inside a cubicle with a long mahogany desk and a flat screen computer on it. The walls are painted pastel and there are a couple of waiting chairs on each side of the room. On the right side there is a stair going to the second floor.

“Can I have your name?” she asked while her eyes are on the computer screen.

“Jillian Winters,” I answered.

I am feeling nervous about being here and I don't even know why. She clicked something on the mouse and then she turned to me and smiled.

“Alright, it is your first time here?”

I gave her a slight nod.

“Dr. Sullivan is expecting you. Please come this way.” she said.

I let her walked first before I tailed from her behind. She took the short stairs and knocked on the first wooden door we found on the left side of the hallway. She was the one who opened the door and peaked herself in.

“Dr. Sullivan, your patient is here.” I heard her say.

I saw nods a couple of times and gave her smile to the person inside the room.

“Come on in, she's ready for you.”

I nodded, she made her way to the stairs again going back to her desk downstairs. I sighed and went inside the room.

A middle-aged tall, skinny woman with shoulder length brown hair greeted me with a warm smile as I walked inside the room. She is wearing her purple ruffled blouse and black linen pants inside her white coat.

The room is huge, there is a glass office desk on the right side of the room, while not too far from it was a living room with big couches and coffee table. There is also a tall-wide book shelf on the left side. The windows are all glass that you can easily see what's outside.

“Jillian, right?” she asked as she was holding a file, I think my file.

I gave her a slight nod.

“Hi, I am Dr. Ashley Sullivan, Carter is a friend of mine.” she introduced herself.

I shook his hand.

“Come this way,”

She guided me to the couch, she sat on the single couch and I sat on the double couches opposite hers. I looked around trying to stop myself from fidgeting.

“Carter told me you're going through a tough time,” she started

I took a deep breath, I've been trying to move on and forget my past on my own and so far I am doing great at it. I really do not get why I should talk to a shrink about it. I looked down when I felt her eyes on me.

“Jillian, everything we will talk about here will stay in these corners of this room.” she assured me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat the kept me from letting out what I want to say.

“You can talk to me Jillian,” she smiled.

I bit my lower lip trying to figure out how I should start.

“For weeks. . . I-I've been getting n-nightmares” I stutter.

She nodded but didn't say anything. It seems like she is waiting for me to say more.

“It's about my. . . s-step stepfather,”

I felt like there's a clogged in my lungs and it kept me from breathing properly. My eyes are wet and I am trying so hard to blink the tears away. I thought I was ready for this. I thought I was strong enough to talk about him but clearly, I wasn't.

“What about him?” she asked calmly.

I took another deep breath.

“I was . . . h-he. . .  I was r-raped.”

Right there and then I broke down in front of Dr. Sullivan.

Chapter Ten

Every Monday around nine in the morning I have an appointment with Dr. Sullivan. Each and every session, we talked about the life I had in Missouri, my childhood, my parents, my school and of course Dan. After my each visit I get a little lighter and I feel a little better. I started to trust her too and she kept on telling me that the only way for me to finally move on from my past is to face the truth. Meaning I need to go back home and find out what really happen after I left. Carter knew about it and he was very supportive and protective of me. He even offered to come with me when I finally decided to go home. I know they're all right but as of now I still do not have the courage to finally know what is waiting for me in St. Louis. I don't know when will I be ready but one thing is for sure, it is not today or tomorrow.

After our trip in Palm Springs, things got a little busier for Carter and me. Two weeks ago they started the construction of the hotel expansion they were planning in Paris. So to avoid the delay like what happened in Colorado, Carter was hands on with every detail of the project. That means he spent most of the days in Paris. As for me, I became very busy with school. Summer is coming so I have papers due on almost all my classes and it really taking all the time I have.

It's Saturday and Carter is in Paris again, he left early this week and won't be back until this coming Friday or Saturday. We have to attend his best friend’s wedding on Saturday in Santa Monica so he needed to be home before the event. I have another date with Phoebe on Thursday after my class to look for the perfect dress to wear on that said event.

My stomach grumbled when I glanced at the digital watch on the night stand. It's almost one in the afternoon and I realized that I haven't eaten anything yet. From the time I woke up earlier this morning I have been working on the paper I have due on Monday and I forgot to put anything in my stomach. Martha won't be here until three and with the hunger I am feeling I know I cannot wait for her any longer.

I sashay downstairs and went straight to the kitchen, I opened the fridge and all I found was the frozen microwaveable meals Carter used to have and the frozen steak from last night's dinner. When Carter left for Paris, Martha offered to stay here with me so I don't have to be alone but I refused since I will be busy with my school work and I won't have the time to chit chat. Besides, I know how to cook I just cannot find the time to do it now since I am all load up with school.

I took one mac and cheese from the fridge and put it on the microwave. I am not in the mood for frozen steak now since I still have a ton of work to do. I am exhausted with school but I am still happy cause for the first time in a long time I feel like I am normal, a normal student with homework and Carter's absence is making it perfect. It's not that I am happy he isn't here cause I miss him so freaking much but an almost nineteen-year-old college freshmen living with a business tycoon isn't really normal but I am glad to have him.

The microwave beeped meaning my food is ready so I took the plastic container from the machine and opened the fridge to get some cranberry juice and poured it to the glass I took out from the cupboard. I need to finish this paper today so I can start my other report I have to pass on Wednesday. I hate rushing things so as much as possible I want all my task to be done the day after it's due date. I went back inside our room, sat on the chair and settled my food on the study table Carter bought for me.

I checked on my phone, it's exactly one in the afternoon, Paris is nine hours behind LA so it's only four in the morning there and Carter might still be sleeping. I'll give him a call before he gets to the office.

I was trying to satisfy my taste buds with the heated mac and cheese when Destiny's Child's Independent Woman filled the room. Since I saw Charlie's Angels a couple of weeks ago with Christy and Brooke this became my favorite song. I glanced on my phone to see who it was, when I saw Brooke's name I answered it right away.

“Bitch, where are you?” she asked.

I think she is outside cause I can hear the noise coming from her background and I can hear Christy too.

“I'm at home, why?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow.

“What time are you planning on coming here? We've been waiting for you for hours.” she sighed in frustration.

Waiting for me? But why? Then I remembered, I agreed to bond with them on the beach today.

“Sorry, it slipped my mind.” I apologized, “And I am kind of cramming on this paper I have due on Monday so. . . can I get a rain check?”

I was biting my lip while waiting for Brooke to answer. I can hear her telling the rest of the group that I am coming so there were lots booing on the other line.

“Do you hear all the frustration over here?” Brooke asked. “Come on Jillian, live a little, your rich hottie boyfriend is not even there so why cram on your school work? Have some fun! Be a teenager sometimes.” she shouted and I can hear the screaming from her end.

She is right though, I am turning nineteen two months from now and I haven't had the chance to enjoy my life being a teenager. Since I got here all I did was study and become Carter's companion all the time. I feel like I am a twenty-nine year old girl stuck in an eighteen year old body. I guess going through a lot results to that.

“So are you coming or not?” I heard Brooke again.

I took a deep breath. I think it's fine if I relax a bit besides I am already exhausted working on my paper all day and lying under the sun getting all tanned is the best way to do that.

“I'm coming, give me an half an hour.”

“Winters is coming whipping off the Summer!!!!” Brooke shouts and the crowd screams.

I laughed. Brooke is a real entertain, whenever you're with her there is no dull moment at all.

“See ya bitch”

“Ya, see you”

Then I turned the phone off. I turned off my laptop and brought my food in the kitchen, I sat on the breakfast bar finishing my meal. For sure there will be beers there and I had to put something on my stomach before having any. If I want to avoid getting drunk and taking advantage off. I talked to Brooke and Christy about what really happened on the beach, we tried to hunt down the guy but apparently he was someone's plus one too so we decided to let it go. Both of them we're sorry and promised to keep an eye on me. So I hang out with them again.

I finish my mac and cheese while typing a text for Carter. He maybe thousand miles away from me but I still want to tell him what I do here while he is away.

Hey, I know you're still in bed but I just want to let you know that I am going down the beach with Brooke and Christy and the rest of the group but I'll be back before you get to work so please ring me. Don't forget your breakfast. Make use of room service. Come home soon, I miss you. - Jill

I hit sent and took my plate on the sink. I washed the dishes and made my way back to the room. I took a quick shower since the heat is killing me and I put on my polka dot blue two-piece bikini Brooke forced me to buy once we were out shopping downtown and a yellow sun dress over it. I blow dry my hair and tied it in a messy bun, no makeup for me since I'll be swimming for sure. I looked for my new flops Christy gave me as his peace offering for leaving at the beach. When I am sure I have everything in my beach bag I shove it in my shoulders and sashay my way downstairs. I pushed Carter's security code to shut everything down then made my way to the garage. The beach is almost twenty minutes away from here so I have to take my Bentley with me. I took the garage remote control from the car compartment and pushed the button to open the garage. I started the engine and drove out of the garage, I stopped for a while and pushed the button again to close the gate and I drove my way to the beach.

The beach is kinda crowded when I got there. Brooke and the rest of the group are on the right side of the place. I can Brooke lying on the sand with red hot chili colored bikini with her head rested on Jake's lap, he's a sophomore in UCLA and a lacrosse player. Are they item now? Well, who knows? When it comes to Brooke and boys, you can never can tell. Beside them was Christy sitting on the beach blanket they laid on the sand, next to her was Stephen, Jake's roommate and teammate and beside him was his girlfriend Kendra and Kendra's friend Meg both are freshmen.

I started going out with them when Brooke celebrated her birthday at the club downtown. She was flirting with this Damien guy who's teammate's are Jake and Stephen, after one night Brooke was done. Damien liked her a lot but was hurt when Brooke became cold and clear that she doesn't want anything to do with him so the rest of the guys still hang out with us but Damien looked for a different crowd to hang out with. All of them are nice to me, they're all friendly and kind of protective.

Carter knew the people I spend time with, he knew them from Brooke's party, he picked me up at midnight and stayed for a while. I was surprised cause he liked them and he was okay if I hang out with them.

Kendra saw me first as I was walking my way to them and waived her hand out to me. I waived back.

“You made it,” Kendra's high pitch voice greeted me.

I smiled at her and scooted near Christy.

“Who wants to get murdered by Brooke, right?” I joked.

Everyone laughed. I sat beside Christy while Brooke shook his head.

“You promised, so you need to fulfill it whether you like it or you like it.” Brooke blurted out.

I laughed and Stephen offered me a beer and I gladly took one. For the past months I have spent here in LA and with these people I started to learn the do's and don’ts when drinking. I've practically learned my lessons and I am glad that I kind of opened up with them again. I am tired of isolating myself from the others cause I am keeping some sort of a secret. Stephen invited Kendra to go swimming, she agreed as well as Meg, Brooke and Jake. Christy and I were left there.

“How's Carter?” she asked.

I lied on the blanket not taking my sun dress and sun glasses off. The heat of the sun is relaxing and this is way better than to cram with my school work.

“He's good, I guess. It's still dawn in Paris so he hasn't called me yet but I left him a text.” I answered.

She nodded.

“Good then.”

When Christy found out about what happened to me at the party she became uber-protective of me. She wants to make sure I am safe at all times, one thing that Carter liked about her.

“Isn't Johnny coming here today?” I asked, referring to her long time boyfriend.

She took a deep breath. I know something is up cause she has been quiet for the past couple of days but I am having second thoughts to ask. I only met Johnny a couple of times since I met Christy and he is a firm man I can say.

She looked at me with sad wondering eyes.

“You wanna talk about it?” I asked hesitantly.

She tightly closed her eyes and took another deep breath.

“I think Johnny wants a way out” she said sadly as she opens her eyes.

I looked at her but she doesn't meet my gaze. Hey eyes are staring straight at the beach. I don't know what to tell her. I haven't been in this situation in my life when someone close to me is going through a tough time with their love lives.

“I noticed that whenever I was trying to meet him or I plan something for us he is always making some excuses on how he cannot make it. I think he is cheating on me but I am not sure,” she told me.

Johnny is studying in University of Southern California and Christy has been dating him since high school.

“I think he is screwing some girl,” she added.

She was smiling, actually she was smirking and I can feel the bitterness and hurt in her voice.

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Last night, I went to his dorm to surprise him,” she started. “But he was in the shower when I got there and I saw his phone on the table so I took the chance and opened it, he hasn't changed the code on so I was able to go through his messages” she closed her eyes again, this time she is trying to keep her tears from falling. “. . . There was this girl, her name is Amanda and he was asking her if she likes the flowers and the chocolates.”

She looked down and pulled her knees into a hug. She was sobbing and I suddenly didn't want to do next.

“He never gave me flowers for the past three years that we've been together and now he is giving some girl things he never bothered to give me.” she sobs with so much pain.

I sat up and pulled her into a hug. I never saw Christy like this. When it comes to relationships, among the three of us, Christy has always been the one who was certain about Johnny. Until now I am still trying to figure out my feeling about Carter and Brooke well, she is Brooke no questions asked. But Christy and Johnny were inseparable with each other.

She pulled herself out of my embrace and wiped her tears.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to vent on you, you came here to have fun but I am ruining the day feeling miserable.”

“No, don't be like that. I am glad that you think of me as someone you can talk to about Johnny and I appreciate that,” I told her as I ran my fingers on her hair. “I know I am very inexperience when it comes to relationships, but I think you should talk to Johnny first to clear things out.” I suggest.          

She nodded.

“I'll do that, thanks Jill,”

“Anytime,” I smiled. “Wanna go swimming?”

“Yeah,”

Then I helped her get up and we ran our way to the water.

 

 

I spent the next couple of hours on the beach, soaking myself under the sun but after three cans of beer and when the sun is finally setting I said my goodbye to the group. Carter sent me an e-mail that he will be at work any minute and would like to speak with me before going to the office.

I get inside the Bentley, put my ear buds on and dialed Carter's number. I started the engine as I waited for him to answer. After three rings he answered.

“Hey, baby” he greeted me.

I smiled, he's been out for four days and I missed him like crazy.

“I miss you,” he added.

“Me too,” I replied. “Are you on your way to the office?”

I turned northeast on Manhattan Beach Boulevard toward Manhattan Avenue.

“Yeah, I had Jim drive me to the office. My arm is killing me for hitting the gym last night.” he said.

Since he got very busy at work he hadn't had the time to work out which as much as possible he wants to do every day.

“You shouldn't force yourself so much,” I told him with concern. “What did you have for breakfast?”

It took a while before he was able to answer me. He isn't really a breakfast eater person but he is being left with no choice cause I am forcing him to.

“Some . . . pancakes?” he said unsure.

“I see, I think someone is lying and I wonder on when he is going to realize how a bad liar he is.” I said pretending to talk to myself.

I heard him laugh from the other line. I know he finds it amusing that I am pissed.

“I'm sorry babe, I woke up late and I have an early meeting so I didn’t have time to ask for room service,” he apologized with pleading voice. “I promised to get something when I get to the office,”

I sighed trying to hide my frustration.

“Alright, you promised?”

“Yeah, I promised. How's the beach?”

“Good, it was nice and I had fun,”

I felt him smiled.

“That's nice, you should spend time with your friends while I am away cause when I get back I'll lock you in our room and I'll fuck until you're sore.”

I felt the heat on my cheeks and I know I am red as a tomato now.

“Then you should go home soon,” I teased. “You know, I have been alone for days now”

“God Jillian, stop it! You're killing me.” he grunts. “Are you trying to make me hard when I am so close to the office?”

I smiled. I love my effect on him.

“I was just kidding, I'll see you on Friday or Saturday?” I asked.

“Yeah, maybe Saturday morning, I'll let you know.”

“Alright, see you then.”

“See you baby, I love you,”

I was silent for a while. I don't know how to respond, I don't want to say yes cause I don't want to lie but I don't want to say no cause the last I want to do is hurt his feelings.

“Me too.”

Then I took the ear buds off and focus on my driving. Martha is already in the house when I arrived. She was cooking another mouthwatering dish and she greeted me cheerfully. I want to offer some help but I was exhausted so I decided to go straight to our room and have some rest.

I put my bag on the study table, took my sundress off and lied on the bed with my eyes closed. My arms and feet are killing me for swimming non-stop and trying to keep Christy's pace. The girl is broken and she is trying to exhaust herself from non-getting off the water.

I almost found my slumber when my phone rang. I answered it without checking who it was and kept my eyes close. Maybe, it's Carter wanting to tell me he had breakfast.

“Jillian Winters,”

My body automatically sat up with my eyes widely opens when I heard that familiar angel-like voice. I wonder where she got my number.

“Adriana?”

“Yes, it's me, who else?” I can feel the stiffness in her voice.

I wonder what she wants this time. Her voice is a bit slurry so I am guessing she is drunk.

“How did you get my number?”

It's been a while since we cross paths and I am expecting to see her at the wedding so I was kind of preparing myself from her. I know she'll do everything to embarrass me in front of everyone at the event.

“Connections honey. By the way, I am just calling to tell that you should keep an eye on yourself cause you are going down,” she threatens me calmly.

I took a deep breath, I don’t where is she going with this? She is crazy and I don’t have the time to deal with her right now. I’ve seen this coming on the wedding event but not today.

“Did you hear me? You are going down. I’ll put you back to your place,” she added.

I am not going to step down her level especially with her current state. I don’t understand why she pushes herself to Carter this much. She is beautiful, intelligent and rich as hell so why doesn’t she just get over it and move on.

“Just get some sleep Adriana, I’ll see you around,” I said then turned end the call.

I felt a sudden pity for her, she loves Carter with all her heart but he is taking him for granted and giving all his love and attention to me who until now cannot figure out what I am feeling for him.

 

Friday after class I decided to just go home and instead of going out with Christy and Brooke. Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood all day because Carter’s flight was moved tomorrow morning instead of today but of course I won’t admit that with my girls, instead I made up some excuses of not feeling well. I don’t want to look like a hopeless romantic girl who cannot figure out her feelings towards the person she is living with but gets jealous when a beautiful real life Barbie doll follows him around like some stalker and miss him the hell much when he is away.

I am feeling exhausted for writing my paper, going shopping with Phoebe and texting Carter non-stop for the past few days. I am planning on just going straight to bed, maybe take a nap or soaked myself in a milk bath.

I opened the front door and I was surprised with who I saw sitting on the couch with a scotch on his hand. He was wearing a button-down sky blue shirt and khaki cargo shorts. He is looking good as usual and his skin was a little fairer than before. God I missed him so fucking much!

“Carter!!!” I squealed.

I didn’t help myself from shoving my bag off my shoulder and running towards him. He stood up and I wrapped my legs on his waist, not caring if Martha is around or if my sun dress was completely pulled up.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered as he buried his face on my neck.

“Me too.” I replied.

He kissed my lips, it was an intense kiss like he was so hungry for me. His hands were squeezing my butt while I tightly holding neck, pushing him to me. He lied me down on the couch and placed himself on top of me his hands caressing my leg sending shiver into my core.

“God, I can’t take this any longer” he growled.

He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head and presses his lips against mine again. He holds the hem of my dress trying to take off of me. I got alarmed cause Martha might see us, I was okay with her see us make out but not have sex.

“Martha might see us,” I whispered.

He smiled and kissed my neck, leaving wet marks on my skin.

“I sent her home early,” he said in between kisses.

I bit my lower lip as he pulled my dress over my head leaving me half naked with my undergarments. Then I remembered Marcus, he might still be here. Carter started kissing my ear lobe making me tingle in between my thighs.

“How about Marcus?” I asked trying not to sound moaning with the sensation he is giving me.

“Same” he answered and continues to lick my jaw.

He kissed my neck while unclasping my bra showing my breast and sucked them lightly. My nipples hardened as his cold tongue landed on my skin. God! It feels good. I’ve missed him so much. I’ve missed his mouth on my body. He sucked and licked my other nipple while his right hand went inside my panties and massaging my wet core.

I moaned loudly as he inserted a finger inside my hot flesh.

“God, baby, hearing your voice makes me fucking hard like a rock.” He grunts.

He started thrusting me on the inside with her finger going in and out. He went back to my lips and brushed his tongue on my lips, hungry for an entrance. I opened my mouth to taste his tongue as my hand reached for the button of his cargo shorts and unbuckling his belt. He kicked his shorts off together with his boxers. His hard erection sprung free in front of me. His hungry lips went into my breast again, then down to my stomach and belly button.

I arched my back when his mouth finally reached my swollen flesh. I got even wetter as he sucked my clit so hard I almost come in his mouth.

“You’re so wet baby,”

He continues to insert his finger while he suck and lick my core. I come in his mouth seconds after. He went back to my mouth making me taste myself and put his hardness on my entrance. I blinked and he was inside me making all the time we were apart worth waiting for.

“I’ve missed your tightness baby,”

My whole body shivers with every thrust he makes. I may not be in love with this man but I am definitely lusting about him. I don’t want any other man to be on top of me but him.

“Baby, on top,”

He sat on couch while I got up and sat on his lap, putting his erection into my entrance. I was pushing and pulling myself up and down feeling all of him inside me while he was sucking my breast.

We were moaning and grunting so loud not really caring if someone will hear us, all we want right now is to pay off all the time we’ve spent apart.

After a few hard thrust we both came together.

 

 

The next morningCarter and I woke up from the house phone ringing non-stop. Minutes before his cell phone ringtone was filling the room and when he turned it off the house phone took over. We’ve missed each other so much that we spent the whole night making love until we passed out from exhaustion.

“Fuck!” Carter cursed as he reached for the intercom.

I kept my eyes closed, my head hurts and I was sore too but its fine, last night was spectacular.

“What?”

I opened my eyes and sat up on the bed as I heard Carter’s angry voice towards the person on the other line. He walked to the balcony but I can still hear his loud voice.

“That’s ridiculous, how’d that even happen?” he asked.

I stood up and peaked on the balcony door with his back on me. I was wearing his button down shirt with nothing inside while he was only in his boxers. He turned around and I saw his frustrated and confused face.

“No, that’s not possible,” he said.

I don’t know who is he talking to and what made him upset early this morning.

“I’ll get back to you,” he said and then pressed a button on the intercom.

He walked back inside the room, put the intercom down the study table and sat on the bed with his hands folded on his arms. I went to him and sat beside him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked hesitantly.

When it comes to his business and work I try my best not to get involved. He turned to me and I saw the pain in his eyes. He put his left arm on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug and kisses my hair. His actions are confusing the hell out of me.

“Carter, please tell me what’s wrong,” I said almost pleading.

He held my face and I met his gaze.

“Your photos from Florida are all over the local news,” he said sadly.

I looked at him in horror. How in the hell did that happen? I was frozen from where I sitting that I didn’t even notice when Carter reached for the remote control and turned the TV on. There I saw my face wearing the lingerie I wore at Keith’s club, beside me was Nicole wearing the same kind of clothing. The blonde news anchor says:

 Is Young Real-Estate Business Tycoon Carter Greene keeping a stripper inside his home? Photos of the allegedly 18 year old girlfriend of business tycoon Carter Greene were all over the internet this morning. A source said that Mr. Greene is indeed keeping the stripper and even flew to Florida to buy this girl from the owner of popular club in Miami Beach. We’ve tried to get the side of Mr. Greene about this issue but he chose to keep his silence same goes with the club owner in Florida.

The blonde woman and her co-anchor still talked about the issue, gave their comments on how it is going to affect Carter’s company and image but none of them are registering on my brain. How the hell did this happen? Who uploaded those pictures on the internet? I was still frozen beside Carter, he tighten his embrace on me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I wanted to tell him it’s not his fault, none of it was his fault but it seems like I suddenly lost my voice. I felt my eyes getting wet and hot fluid flowed on my cheeks. What am I going to do now? I ruined Carter and for sure the whole school knew about it. My friends will be disgusted with me. I will lose everything I’ve worked for. This isn’t the life I have expected when I agreed to come here. For months Carter and I kept this secret. Now it’s out on the window.

I sobbed on Carter’s shoulders. There is this huge lump on my throat making me unable to speak at all.

“I promised to fix this Jillian,” he assured me.

I also want to assure him that I am not blaming him. I was once a stripper and that’s the truth. It’s a shame but I did it when I was on my lowest. I did it in order to survive and I did it in order to be free.

Carter left me to our room because he had to take care of the situation. There are paparazzi outside our home and they’re all eager to get a statement from either one of us. I thought this only happens in the movies but Carter is indeed a public figure and a famous one in California.

 

 

Hours later I was able to finally stop myself from crying, I was still in bed, lying there like a child. Actually, I do feel like one. I feel weak and vulnerable not knowing on what is waiting for me once I get out of this bedroom. Carter hasn’t come back yet. I cannot think of something else to do, I reached for my phone that was on the nightstand. I turned on though I don’t remember turning it off last night, maybe Carter did.

I have two missed calls, one each from Brooke and Christy. There are also seventeen unread text messages from the two of them. Both of them are asking if I saw the news, if it’s true and if I am okay. I appreciate their concern to me but it still doesn’t take my fear away.

I was caught in my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door.

“Miss Jillian,” it was Martha.

It’s not even eleven in the morning so I wonder what she is doing here this early. Maybe Carter called her to give me company. I was about to get up and open the door when I realized that I am still wearing Carter’s button down shirt.

“What is it Martha?” I asked sadly.

“Your friends are here Miss,” she answered.

I know she was talking about Brooke and Christy.

“Alright,” I sighed. “Please tell them I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Yes Miss.”

I heard her footsteps from the door, meaning she is walking her way downstairs. I stood up and went straight to the bathroom. I washed my face, my eyes are swelling due to crying and lack of sleep. I brushed my teeth too, my stomach is growling, we didn’t have anything for dinner last night cause we got overwhelmed seeing each other again after being apart for more than a week, but I don’t have an appetite for anything right now.

I put on a clean pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. I don’t know but it felt inappropriate for me to wear clothes that show off too much skin. I also tied my hair on a loose bun, all in all I look like a complete mess.

I sauntered my way downstairs, there I saw Christy sitting on the couch wearing her usual floral sundress and flat sandals. Beside her was Brooke wearing a ripped denim shorts and a white tank top. 

“Hey,” Christy greeted me with a sad smile.

They both stood up and each gave me a one-arm hug.

“Be strong, okay?” Brooke told me trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

I gave them a slight nod.

“Gosh! Someone took a photo of me outside and I regret wearing like this. If I’ve known that there are paparazzi outside, I should’ve called my mom stylist.” Brooke joked.

I smiled weakly.

“Come on, Jillian, don’t be like that, please cheer up,” she added.

“Yeah, cheer up Jillian,” second the motion of Christy.

I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, “I know I shouldn’t get affected about this issue but I am so scared that I messed everything up. Carter’s hasn’t been home, I don’t even know what is happening or what will happen to me after this.” I sobbed.

I didn’t mean to cry again but whenever I think about it fear flows through me and the only thing that I can do is to cry my eyes out.

I collapse myself on the couch and both of them ran to me for comfort. I leaned to Christy and she hugged me so tight. I wiped my tears and turned to them.

“I appreciate you both coming here, honestly, I didn’t expect any of this, and I thought you will all be disgusted about me,” I told them in between deep breaths.

Brooke smiled at me and tousled my already messy hair.

“I maybe a slight slut but I am not shallow,” Brooke said proudly.

“Jillian, you maybe just met us few months ago, but we’re your friends and friends do stick together through good times and especially bad times.” Christy said. “You did what you did but you’re here now giving yourself a better life and for that’s what’s important, it doesn’t matter who you were before, what matters is who you are now.” She added.

I suddenly felt better after hearing them. I am so glad that after everything they found out about me they still consider me as their friend.

“Girl, I totally hate you now!” Brooke suddenly turned to Christy, “Is this some sort of ‘who gives the better wisdom word shit’?” she asked grinning. “Cause I could’ve come up with an essay piece, girl, I said like a sentence and you created a paragraph,” she shook her head exaggeratedly.

We all laughed. Brooke can really lighten the mood as always.

“You’re crazy Brooke!” Christy snorted, laughing.

They’ve stayed for another hour, we talked and drank some wine. Martha cooked us pasta for lunch and they loved her own recipe. They’ve asked me to come with them to the beach but I didn’t think that was a good idea, knowing there are reporters outside and Carter still hasn’t called or come home.

 

 

Carter came home fifteen minutes before three o’clock. He looked exhausted wearing his faded jeans and button down shirt. I just got out of the shower when he arrived, Christy and Brooke told me I shouldn’t be affected by the scandal and let Carter handle the situation.

“It was Ade,” he blurted out.

I stopped drying my hair and cocked my brow wondering why all of a sudden he mentioned Adriana.

“I don’t think I am following you,” I said.

He wandered back and forth on the room. I cannot figure out if he is upset but I know something is disturbing him.

“It was Adriana who leaked the photos on the internet!” he said angrily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think she’ll go this far,”

I was confused, I cannot believe that Adriana can do something like that. I know she hated my whole being but I didn’t expect she can go as far as destroying me. Then I remember the threat she told me a few day ago. She said I was going down, I didn’t know she meant it. God!

“A few days ago she called me and threatened me that she is taking me down,” I told him.

Carter turned to me, his eyes are burning and I cannot meet his raging gaze.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” he yelled.

“I thought she was just fooling me around,” I answered.

Carter is upset and it is freaking me out.

“God! Jillian, you’re being threatened and I don’t even have any idea about it.”

He irritably ran his fingers through his hair and sat on the bed. I was half hearted if I should just keep my distance or walk to him to offer comfort. I did the latter. I sat beside him and pulled his hand and laced out fingers.

“I know you were worried and I know we’re going through a tough time but I just want you to know that I am not blaming you, I did what I did, I stripped and it’s the truth, people can either accept me like you did or they can just leave and forget me. Either way I am fine with that.” I assured him, squeezing his palm a bit. “I am afraid because I know this might have an effect on your business and that’s the last thing I want to happen, because I am here to make you happy not to ruin what you have built.”

He cupped my face and kissed my lips.

“I’m sorry, if I yelled at you.” He said. “Honestly, I am blaming myself for not keeping an eye on Ade, I am so angry with her, I went to her home but she wasn’t there.” I can feel the hurt and pain from his voice.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself either, none of this was your fault. Adriana did it because she hates me and I don’t have the power to change her toll on me. This is who I am and I cannot change that.” I said.

Then I pulled him into a hug.

“Why don’t we just fix ourselves? For sure Frank will be waiting for you, you wouldn’t want to miss his wedding,” I said trying to sound cheerful and referring to his friend.

“Are you sure you still wanna go?”

I gave him a slight nod and a peck on the lips.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,”

Carter pulled me into a hug and kissed me again. We rest for another hour before we dress ourselves up. Carter wore his usual black tux while I put on the Parisian white and gold sequin cocktail dress Phoebe chose for me. I paired it with my gold beaded peep toe high heels and a gold envelope clutch purse. I tied my hair on a neat pony tail and put a very light makeup on my face. I want to look as simple as possible.

Carter decided that we just drive to Santa Barbara for the wedding will be held using his Ferrari but we have Marcus and Jim tailed behind us for security. It took us an hour to reach the country club and I was thankful that it was a private wedding and no media was allowed.

The place was beautifully decorated, the wedding ceremony will be held at the center of the golf course where they set up a huge white tent. Each side has ten rows of white wooden chairs for the guests to sit on. In the center of the chairs is an aisle where there red rose petals scattered on the each sides of the aisle. I was amused by the simple arch they’ve created for the altar.

I’ve only met Frank and Lisa once at the auction where I first saw Adriana Krueger. I like both of them, Frank is in a Publishing business while Lisa is an interior designer. Carter is supposed to be part of the entourage but because he had all caught up with the Paris construction he had to back out last minute but promised Frank that he won’t miss the wedding.

All eyes remained on us as we took our seats minutes before the ceremony started. For sure everyone is aware about the scandal and made me uncomfortable but I’ve kept it myself since I don’t want to worry Carter anymore. Frank greeted us cheerfully like he always does, he even told Carter to not take the issue seriously cause it will die down eventually without us even noticing it. The wedding started and I tried my best to enjoy every second of it. Lisa was so beautiful wearing her very simple white strapless wedding gown. I almost cried when they exchanged the vows that came from the bottom of their hearts. Carter was holding my hand tightly all throughout the ceremony.

The reception was held at the function hall of the country club. The room was filled with beautiful decorations, chairs and tables neatly organized and covered with silk cloth. The day is going smoothly as I prayed for it to be. The staring and whispering about me had minimized a bit as we went to our seats at the reception. People’s attention was focused on Frank and Lisa and their guests who started giving message to the newly-wed.

I left Carter for a while as he was caught by some colleagues he hasn’t seen for years. I went to the bar to get us a drink when someone bumps into me. I almost fell on floor good thing I was able to find my balance. I looked to see who it was and I froze to my horror when I saw Adriana Krueger wearing a strapless black sequined long gown that shows half of her breast. Her hair was tied up on the side and she looks beautiful with her light makeup.

“I didn’t realize you still have the guts to show your face here,” she told me with her raised brow.

I know she is talking about the scandal that she put me through. And I know I should be the one who should be angry at her for doing such thing to me but I don’t want to cause a scene. This is Frank and Lisa’s event, I’ve already taken half of the spotlight earlier from all the staring and whispering coming from their guest whenever I passed by. I fixed my dress and turned my heel to walk away from her. The night is almost over so I just need to keep my distance from her. Carter is almost on my sight when she grabbed my hair so tight causing me to step backward.

“Adriana, let me go,” I whispered trying not to catch any attention.

But I was too late because people are already staring at us as she dragged me to the floor, placed herself on top of me and started slapping my face non-stop. I put my arms over my face for protection.

“You’re a slut, you don’t deserve Carter, you are nothing, you’re a trash, and you don’t belong here!!!!” she screamed at me over and over.

My arms are in so much pain but I kept them over my face. I didn’t expect Adriana can be this strong, I don’t know what happened to her but it seems like she lost control of herself.

“Let me go!!!” she yelled.

I opened my eyes and saw another guy took her off of me then Carter went to my rescue.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he helped me get up.

I pulled my dress down to cover my legs and Carter took his jacket and wrapped it around me. People’s attentions are on us, I can see Frank and Lisa walking their way to the scene. Adriana still doesn’t want to be stopped, Marcus and Jim are holding her arms but she is trying her best to let go.

“Let’s get out of here,” Carter whispered.

He put his arm on my shoulder and usher me to the exit. When we pass Adriana by, she clasps his arm stopping both Carter and I.

“Carter, don’t go with her, she is a slut, she got fucked everywhere,” she said to him as tears falls from her eyes.

It pained me to hear what she is saying so I kept my eyes down.

“Please, let go of me,” I heard Carter whispered to her.

“No! She fooled you, can’t you see? She is only using you for money, please wake up. Everything that’s on the news is true, I have proof, please listen to me Carter,”

I saw Carter took a deep breath.

“I know who she is and I also know that it was you who spread the news but this is what I am going to tell you, so please listen, I don’t care about her past simply because I love her with all my heart. So please stop this non-sense, give yourself some respect and don’t ever try to be near me or her cause the next time you laid your hands on her, I promised you I will forget that I was once your friend. Grow up Ade and please get a life.” He told her seriously.

Carter turned to me and put his arm on the small of my back as we made our way out of the function hall. 

Chapter Eleven

 I woke on a summer morning with the sun shining brightly on my face and an empty sheet beside me. The curtains covering the balcony are open so I get off the bed and went to see if Carter was there but I found nothing. I checked the digital clock on our nightstand; it is six in the morning. Summer is really on and the sun does rise as early as six AM. I reached for my silk robe hanging on back of the door to cover my almost naked body and was on my way downstairs when I heard the bathroom door opened.

There I saw Carter looking fresh from his early morning shower wearing nothing but a towel from waist down.

"Morning," I greeted him though his face was serious. "Why are you up so early?"

He made his way to the walk-in closet so I followed. He opened to glass door and took a pair of his hundreds of suit and tie. I watched him dress up while I wait for his answer.

"I have an early meeting with this new publicist," he answered.

I am getting used to the "serious Carter" all the time. The scandal really did hurt his image and his company. A week after the news spread out, a group of female communist from San Francisco we're promoting a boycott to all Carter's hotels all over the US. They believe that keeping a young stripper in his home is immoral and should not be condemn. People are thinking that I am being held against my will. When Carter had his press release I offered to give my side my his agents refused saying that showing me to the media will only increase the interest of the people. So I'd kept my silence though it killed me that Carter and his company is suffering because of me. The thought of the issue dying down weeks after did not happen after all.

Carter's investors pulled their shares out from the company and it's really hurting his financial status. I wanted to help his so badly but I don't know how. So I've just kept my silence, made myself available when he needed me and focusing on my studies when he is not home.

Adriana is aware of everything that happened, after the incident at the wedding she has been trying her best to apologize to Carter but it seems like the latter is not interested. We have been talking on the phone without Carter's knowledge, she was sorry and she told me that she didn't mean everything to happen. She said that she just want Carter to leave me so she can get her chance to him but that didn't happen. Worst Carter cut all his connection to her.

I know what she did was awful, she was very cruel but I kind of understood her. She did it because she loves Carter so much and she can't accept that Carter loved someone like me. She invited me for a coffee a couple of times but I just can't do it now because I am all guard up. My friends thought the idea of communicating with Adriana is a bad idea, a very bad one but I think I just need to make her know me and I want to get to know her too. I can feel she isn’t a bad person, she is used to in getting everything she wants so having Carter not loving her in a way he wants to is a new feeling for her that I think she is having a hard time dealing with.

“Do you want me to fix you anything for breakfast?” I asked trying to spend a little bit more time with him. “I think I’m in the mood for pancakes.” I added trying to sound happy.

He glanced at his wristwatch.

“Rain check, I’ll be late for my meeting, I’ll see you later,” he answered and he gave me a peck on the lips.

I sighed in frustration as I watched him turned his heel and made his way out of the room. Carter is acting way different now than before. He isn’t my romantic Carteranymore; he is most of the time frustrated and quiet. It’s not that he is abusing me but I feel like we live in different worlds now. I get why he is like that, he worked hard for the company he built on his own and it kills me to know that I was the reason why his company is struggling. I wanted to help him but I just don’t know how so most of the time I just keep my distance and focus on my studies. However, summer is totally on, class ended last week and the only thing left to do is to go to the beach, lie on the sand and get perfectly tanned but I don’t feel it is appropriate for me to do all those things with our current state. I feel like I have no rights to be happy and be joyous. Christy often tells me that I shouldn’t blame myself but I can’t help no to cause somehow I feel responsible for it.

Carter was planning on taking me to Paris for the entire summer so he can supervise the hotel construction while we are together. It will also save him the time to go back and forth just to be with me. We had everything planned, he even let me pay Nicole a visit to Florida for a weekend before we fly to France but everything went to ashes when the scandal came out. I feel like each day that passed Carter and I are growing apart. I am still trying to figure my real feelings for him and our current situation is not helping me at all. Most of the time I woke without him beside me, if he isn’t in the office, he spends almost all his time on the phone. We hadn’t had sex for days now, I can’t even remember the last time he touched me or the last time we shared a meal together. I know I shouldn’t feel jealous or ignored cause he is trying to clean up the mess that I started but I feel like I don’t know him anymore. I just want all of this to be over so we can go back to the way we were.

 

 

I decided to pay Dr. Sullivan a visit instead of spending time with my friends at the beach. I feel guilty whenever I go out to have fun while Carter is trying to pull his life together. I called her beforehand and I was lucky to get an emergency appointment. She really did help me to deal with my past so I am confident that she can help me ease the pain I am feeling.

“I am glad to see you,” she greeted me as I entered the room.

Her secretary knew me so well so she didn’t have to usher me inside. Dr. Sullivan was wearing a green cocktail knee-length dress that really compliments her fair skin. She also tied her shoulder length hair in a nice ponytail.

I’ve skipped a couple of sessions since the news about me spread out. Though, I’ve called her about the situation she still advised me to come to her clinic and pay her a visit. I was sitting on my usual spot opposite hers.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been attending my sessions.” I apologized and let out a small sigh.

She smiled at me warmly like the usual. I haven’t met any other shrink before but I like how warm her approach is. It’s a bit infectious.

“Jillian, I have been worried about you, but I understand why you decided to mellow down and I think keeping it low key for a while helped you a bit.”

I gave her a nod.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I nod again.

“The scandal did affect me a lot but I think it affects Carter more than it did to me.” I started. “And he was distant and I am being left with nothing to do or how to handle our situation.” I sighed trying to hide the pain.

Her lips turned into a thin line.

“Carter knew you for who you are, same reason why he kept you despite of the criticism and I know it’s hard for the both you to deal with the world right now but I think this is the time when he needed you the most.” She said.

“But how do I do that? Honestly, for the past few weeks I didn’t know how I should act around him.” I blurted out. “I feel guilty whenever I am happy cause I think with our current state I shouldn’t be.”

She nodded slightly.

“Jillian, we’ve talked about almost everything, your life as a kid, as a teen, as a free person and as the person with Carter. You told me different things, from how you manage to survive with your parents, how you ran away from home, how you dealt with your life in Florida, what Carter feels for you but you never talked about how you feel for him, how do you see him, what is he for you?” she asks. “Cause maybe when we get to answer those questions we can figure on how you should act when Carter is around.”

And then I was speechless, the lump in throat came just right in time when I needed it. Dr. Sullivan was right. I’ve talked to her about almost everything when it comes to my life as an individual but not with Carter. I wanted to tell her that I have been trying to figure that out on my own for months but I guess a little help will make it easier for me to distinguish what I really feel towards Carter.

“Let’s do it this way, Jillian so it wouldn’t be hard for you,” she said after a moment of silence. “What comes to your mind when you see Carter,”

I bit my lip as I felt the heat in between my core.

“Sexy, Greek-God like, perfect,” I answered.

“Alright, does he make you happy?”

I gave her a slight nod.

“In what way?”

I looked down when I remembered the nights we spent together, how his hands caressed every inch of my body. How I get so wet every time his tongue lands on my skin. I can feel the heat on my cheeks so I immediately withdraw my thoughts.

“I can clearly see how attracted you are with him,” she said. “But have you thought about being in love with him, like marrying him, and building a family with him?”

I stopped for awhile completely lost in words. It never occurred to me and even came in my mind about marrying Carter. I am here because he wanted me and I needed him. But never in my life since I moved in with him that I’ll marry him and have kids with him. I know that time will come that Carter and I will eventually part ways. Besides, I’ve never been in love my whole life so that’s something I am not really familiar with.

“I’m not sure about that.” That’s all I was able to come up with. “But I know I care for him more than I did with anyone.

Dr. Sullivan took a deep breath.

“I can see that, besides love is not something you should rush into, you’re young and there’s still a lot of things that you need to experience, just keep on exploring, do not stop yourself from trying new things, that way you can really know yourself and the people around you.” She advised.

I smiled. She is right, there’s no rushing into things. Maybe time will come that I’ll be able to learn how to be in love with Carter besides he is a nice man and I cared for him a lot.

I’ve talked with Dr. Sullivan for a little while before I head out of his clinic. Things a little clearer for me now, I love Carter but I am not in love with him . . . yet.

I stopped at the grocery to buy some baking products. On my way to Dr. Sullivan’s clinic, Martha’s aunt called me that Martha will not be able to come to work today because she is sick so I found this as the best opportunity to lighten things up for Carter. I’ll be cooking my new specialty, spaghetti with meatballs and I also would like to bake some muffins.

After I was done shopping I drove home. I feel lighter and a bit happy too so I would like to infect Carter. I was smiling as I made my way inside the house. I can hear some footsteps upstairs so I went there to check if Carter was home.

He was lying on the bed with his arms on his forehead and his eyes on the ceiling. He’s wearing a white tee and boxer shorts. I wonder what time he got here and why he didn’t call me or looked for me.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

I walked to the bed and sat beside him. He didn’t turn his head to look at me. Stress is obvious on his face.

“Where have you been?” he asked, his voice was stiff and no emotions at all.

The way he’s acting is so unusual but I chose not to pry. He is going through a tough time and I get that.

“I went to meet Dr. Sullivan and I also went to the supermarket, Martha is sick so she can’t make it tonight,” I explained.

He closed his eyes, his body is stiff like his voice, I badly want to touch him but I chose not to.

“I’m glad you’re home early, I am cooking,” I said trying to be cheerful.

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

He turned to his side his back on me. I took a deep breath keeping myself from getting pissed. As much as possible I am trying to understand his mood swings.

“When I’m done cooking, you will be,” I said softly.

He sat on the bed and looked at me with burning eyes. I was shocked.

“Can’t you understand me? I said I am not hungry so please stop all this talking because I am tired,” he blurted out.

I reached for his arm.

“Carter, please don’t be like that, I know it’s hard and i----”

“You don’t know a thing, my company is going to ashes so please do not tell me that you know anything cause clearly you don’t.”

I froze as I watched him get off the bed and walked out of the room. I felt a sudden pain in my chest and tears fell from my eyes. I can’t believe he said that, I feel completely useless and dumb and an idiot. I am aware on what is happening with his company and I really would like everything to be better but I don’t think it’s fair that he took it out on me. It wasn’t my idea to move in with him in the first place, I am not the one who has a psycho childhood friend who is in love with him dearly and I never force myself to him so it hurts me that he is blaming me for all of this.

 

I still cooked the spaghetti even though I wasn’t feeling well. Carter is nowhere to be found inside the house so I assumed he left after our conversation earlier and I want him to find something edible in our kitchen if in any case he came home and he’s hungry although it's been more than four hours since he left. I haven’t eaten myself, I’ve lost my appetite but a beer would be nice.

I went to the pool with a bottle of beer in my hand and soaked my feet on the water. I took my phone out and dialed Nicole’s number. I just hope she is available to talk to, I missed her so bad and I was disappointed when my call went to the voicemail. I really need a friend right now, the pain in my chest is killing me and driving me crazy at the same time. I thought of calling Christy but I remember she is spending the weekend with Johnny, I am glad things went well with them, the text she read on Johnny’s phone was a favor Johnny asked from his classmate to pick up special flowers that he would give to Christy. They’ve talk things over, they both said sorry and everything ended so well. They even went camping to celebrate their anniversary. I kind of envy how things are good to them and how things are bad for me and I kind of wondered what it like is to be with someone my age. Most of the time I don’t get Carter especially earlier, did he expect me to have a solution with everything? I am a child and the only help I thought was the best is for me to give my side to the press but he refused so what else can I do?

Moments later, my phone beeped notifying me I have a text message received. I checked hoping it’ll be from Carter or Nicole but it’s from an unknown number. I opened the message.

Jillian, how are you? – Nate

I smiled as I remembered him, I suddenly missed him and Keith and the friends I had in Florida. This is the same time last year when they helped me get out of the Ron-mess I got involved in. A lot had happened in almost a year but it all felt yesterday.

I typed in my reply

I’m good sort of, how about you?

I drank my beer when my phone beeped again.

Sort of? That’s no good. What’s wrong?

I smiled then typed in another message.

Nothing. Just not feeling well.

He replied.

Why don’t I believe you?:P

I replied.

You should be

I waited for his reply.

Okay. I will. When are you going to visit us? We’ve missed you.

 I missed them too.

Sudden change of plans. I’ve missed you all too.

I really wanted to visit them, especially Nicole but since the scandal came out Carter hasn’t brought that up yet and neither did I. Besides, I don’t think our plans are still on after what happened earlier.

My phone beeped again.

Bad change, huh? Just come over here when you can, okay? Nicole misses you big time.

I replied.

Me too. Not a busy night?

Normally, Saturdays are the busiest night in the club so Nate and Keith are always on the bar talking with customers about business.

Nope. Not in bar tonight, got some bad colds so I’m staying at home .

I was about to reply when I heard footsteps going inside the house. I put my phone inside my shorts pocket and walked my way inside our home. I found Carter sitting on the bar stool pouring himself a glass of scotch.

I had second thoughts of walking towards him when I remembered our conversation earlier. He was still wearing the same clothes he wore this afternoon. I glanced on my wristwatch and it's almost eight in the evening. I went to the breakfast bar keeping some distance between us. He glanced my way as he drank his scotch.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

I put my beer down the table and shook my head.

"Nope, not hungry." I answered with sarcasm.

He smirked and it made me regret the way my words came out. Silence filled the room and our situation is killing me the hell out of me. So, I finish the rest of my beer and was about to just go to the room and sleep this shit out. When I walked pass him, he grabbed my arm so I stopped.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I almost didn't hear him.  My eyes are wet so I took a deep breath to keep my tears from falling. The last thing I want right now is for him to feel sorry for me and blame himself again. I turned to face him and meet his gaze, his eyes has dark circles around it due to lack of sleep. His face is sad and angry and hopeless. It hurts me to see like that, he looks weak and vulnerable very not the Carter I used to know.

"I know things are tough," I said swallowing the lump in my throat. "You're going through hard times and I get that, I do but you shouldn't take it out on me cause pointing fingers and taking the blame will not make things better, in fact they're making things worst and it's tearing us apart." I said pouring my heart out to him.

He sighed and gave me a slight nod.

"I know and I am sorry for acting the way that I did earlier, it's not fair for you but I don't know what to do anymore." he sat on the bar stool and wrapped his arms on my waist pulling me closer to him. "For the first time in my heart I lost control on things, it felt like my life turned from zero to bullcrap and I don't have any fucking idea how to pick up the pieces." I can clearly feel the pain and the hurt in his voice.

I put my hands on his shoulders slightly squeezing his neck. It broke my heart to see his this hopeless and I knew he needed my comfort.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," he pulled my back and stared at me.

"I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me," I assured him.

He shook his head.

"Not until this mess is fix, I will always blame things on you even when I know I shouldn't be so I thought it would be better if you stay in Florida for a while like what we originally planned." he said.

My eyes widened. Is he kicking me out? As far as I know the original plan was visit Florida together, not me going by myself. I shut my eyes closed until it almost hurt.

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked bravely.

"No, just saving you from me," he said.

I didn't quite understand what he meant about that but I chose to keep my thoughts with me. I also think some time apart will be good for us, maybe he can think things over and I can spend some time with Nicole.

"Alright," I sighed.

"I'll make calls to prepare the penthouse for you and Phoebe will take care of your plane ticket." he said with finality.

I nodded as pain fills through my chest.

 

Phoebe booked me a first class flight to Florida two-days after Carter and I agreed about my visit to Nicole. She called me directly since Carter was out as always. I've called Nicole the moment I hung up the phone with Phoebe to let her know I am coming to visit her after. She immediately knew something was off between me and Carter because of the sudden change of plans. She was worried but I assured her that I am fine. I don't want to talk about my dilemma over the phone, I prefer to tell her in person. She promised to meet me at the airport, maybe will borrow Keith's car or Nate's.

I was packing my things on the luggage Carter bought me when my phone rang. Christy's name registered on the screen so I immediately answered.

"Hey," I answered.

I put her speakers so I can continue to pack.

"Hey, how are you?" she greeted me.

She sounds happy so I tried to sound the same even though I wasn't.

"Er-Good, I guess" I said sighing.

"I'll take that as a no, meet me let's have coffee," she mumbled.

I stopped for a while, thinking about her invitation. I really want to talk to her about Carter's plan for us and maybe get infected by her happiness.

"I need to finish packing first," I said seconds later.

"You're leaving?" the surprise in her tone is obvious.

"Yeah, I'm visiting my friend in Florida,"

I can imagine her face cocking her brows.

"So the plan is still on? I thought Carter wouldn't want to leave right now?" she asked.

I put more clothes inside the luggage trying to fit as many item as possible. I have a huge feeling that I might stay in Florida longer than usual.

"I am going by myself," I couldn't hide the disappointment on my voice.

"Huh? How come he is letting you leave knowing you're current situation?" she asked, she is confused I can tell.

I took a disappointed breath.

"This idea came from him," I said sadly.

Christy was quiet for a moment.

"Hurry up and finish packing, meet me in an hour at the cafe, okay?" she then said.

"Yeah, sure,"

"See yah,"

"Yeah"

I hung up the phone and continued packing my things. I glanced on our digital clock on the nightstand, it’s two-thirty-seven in the afternoon. I woke up six in the morning and Carter already left and he hasn’t called to let me know where he went. My flight is at eleven in the morning tomorrow and until now I don’t have any idea if Carter will be driving me over or if it is Marcus who will take me to the airport. I am hoping my first thought will happen but I have a huge feeling that the latter is the plan.

Once I was done packing, I set aside the luggage on the walk-in closet. I still need to pack some toiletries but I still have to shop for supplies. I took a quick shower, put a cotton sundress and made my way to the garage where my Bentley is parked.

I called Carter to let him know I am meeting Christy but all I got was his voicemail so I just left a message instead.

Christy is already at the café around Manhattan Avenue. She greeted me with a tight hug and a warm smile. She was wearing a black tank top and a faded denim shorts and converse, she looks not-so Christy and more of like Adam. I ordered a frappe before I took the chair opposite hers. In front of her were a strong brewed coffee and a slice of cheesecake.

“Is Brooke coming?” I asked as I looked around.

The café is pretty crowded with people who just got out of the beach. Most of the people here go to UCLA.

“I don’t know, I called her and told her I am meeting you but she is a bit disturbed,” she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

I cocked my brow.

“Disturbed? What does that mean?” I asked.

She took a deep breath.

"You know Brooke, she is always on the run, whoring someone," she laughed.

I did too. Brooke is just the kind of girl guy's doesn't want to fall in love with cause for sure they'll have their hearts broken.

I heard my name called by the waiter from the counter. I stood up and went to get my frapped with my name written on the cup. I sip on it and went back to my seat.

"So, when are you leaving?" Christy asked.

Then I remember the real reason I met with her here. I put the cup down and stared at the moist coming from the cold drink.

"Tomorrow, my flight's at 11 in the morning." I answered, sighing.

She shook her head and made a disappointed sighed.

"I don't understand Carter, I don't get him at all." she snorted.

After the news came out, I was left with no choice but to tell my story to Brooke and Christy. I realized they're my friends and they did stick with me all through it until now.

"Well, I feel the same," I nodded. "But I think being apart for a while will be good for us, I mean, he can think things through if he's still want me," I felt a sudden pang in my chest. "I also need this time for myself to balance everything, besides my friends in Florida misses me so much." I told her trying to sound okay.

The thought of Carter not wanting me anymore sends an unexplainable pain in my heart. I got used to the life with him but there's nothing I can do if he decided to send me back to Miami Beach.

"One thing I know for sure, I want you here Jill, you're the only friend that I know I can count on no matter what, so please come back," she pleads. "You can stay here, I mean, if Carterdoesnt want you, it doesnt mean it's the end for you here, right? I can help you find a job here, and my parents can help you get a scholarship in UCLA," she explained.

I shook my head, I don't think it will be easy for me to still come back here knowing that Carter kicked me out.

"Jillian, you can't go back to Florida and strip again." Christy said breaking my thoughts. "I mean, you've already established a life here, you were able to finish a year, you can do so much better now instead of taking your clothes off."

What she said hurt me, but I knew it's the reality.

"I'll think about it, but for now I just have to go back and spend some time with my friends, I'll just figure everything out once Carter made up his mind and tells me what he wants to do with me."

"Alright,"

Then I took a deep breath and sip on my frappe.

 

 

Chapter Twelve

I was right, Carter didn't drive me to the airport. I didn't even see him when I woke up. Marcus told me that he had an early meeting that's why he couldn't make it but I know that he is just making an excuse for him to make me feel better but that didn't help me at all. Although I expected his absence I can't help myself not to feel sad and hurt cause the last time that I was able to talk to him was when he decided that I should go back to Florida for a while.

My flight was good. Phoebe booked me on a first class flight. I arrived at the airport at noon. Last night I talked to Nicole and she was supposed to fetch me but she wasn't feeling well last night so I told her that I'll just grab a cab going to the club. Keith is also expecting my return.

I was standing on the taxi waiting lane when a black Camaro stopped in front of me. The passenger window opened and I was so surprised to see Nate on the driver seat.

"Jillian, get in." He smiled.

I smiled back at him with the obvious confusion on my face.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I watched him put my luggage inside the trunk of his car.

“Nicole told me she was supposed to pick you up today but she catch a flu so I told her I can pick you up since I don’t have anything to do today,” he explained.

He even opened the door on the passenger seat and I hopped in.

“Thanks, I really appreciate this but you really didn’t have to do this, I am really fine just grabbing a cab going to the hotel,” I said,

A month ago Keith found my replacement so Nicole got a new roommate so I really didn’t have any place at the house where I used to live and also Phoebe made a reservation for me to the hotel near the club.

I really didn’t want to inconvenience any of them by my sudden visit, I know that a lot had changed since the last time I was here. To be honest this isn’t the visit I thought I’d do. What I had in mind was its gonna be and Carter, we will walk in the hand in hand on the beach and swim all day but in the end I came here alone without having to even see him before I left. I felt that familiar pain in my chest by thinking how things ended between me and Carter.

“No worries okay? And about the hotel thing, please cancel the reservation cause I told Nicole that you can just stay in my house, you can stay on the extra room I have,” he said as he started the engine and drove our way out of the airport.

I shook my head, just before I left this place I had this kind of awkward moment with Nate when he told me he had a crush on me.

“You really do not have to do, I am fine staying at the hotel, besides its just near the club so I can be able to easily visit Nicole whenever I want to,” I declined.

He smiled at me and shook his head. Nate is really good looking, his skin got even fairer compare to the last time I saw him.

“That is okay Jillian, please don’t say no, I really wanna do this for you, all of us misses you a lot and we want to spend some time with you especially Nicole, you were once a part of the family and you’re still are so please let me do this for you okay?” he said.

I was really touched with what I’ve heard but what Nate said just added another pound of pain I feel in my chest. I am happy that despite of me leaving this people who took me in when I was in trouble they still consider me as a family and would still want to take care of me.

“Alright,” I nodded, “But if ever I will be a burden to you please let me know okay? I can always move to the hotel,”

“Don’t say that, you will never be an inconvenience to your family Jill,” he smiled and reached for my and slight pressed my palm. 

Nate dropped me off the club so I could see Nicole right away, he took my things with him and told me that he will set up the room for me while I am with Nicole.

I went straight to Keith’s office first to say hi.

“Jillian my babe, good to see you,” he said and gave me a slight hug.

I noticed that he got a little mature with his new spiked style hair cut. He is wearing a white buttoned down shirt and faded jeans.

“I hope I am not interrupting you,” I smiled.

“No, of course not, I am just signing some paper work here.” He said as he pointed the pile of papers on her desk.

“How’s the business?” I asked.

“Well, good as always, just the same, how about you, how is my California girl?”

I laughed with what he just called me. Keith as always is a real entertainer. I told him about my school and the things that I was doing in Beverly Hills. I haven’t told anyone about what is happening about me in California, Nate already asked me earlier but I just shrugged my shoulders, I don’t want them to think that Carter kicked me out and that we’re not in good terms. I also don’t want their impression towards him as the rich/kind bachelor to change.

After a while I left Keith so he could continue with his office work and I walked towards the back of the club and went straight to the Missouri house where I used to live at.

I found Nicole lying on her bed looking very weak with no makeup at all. Her new housemate Jordan was out running so I wasn’t able to meet her.

Nicole sat on the bed when she saw and I gave her a tight hug. God! I missed her so much, I had friends in LA and I also have Christy and Brooke who never left me even after the scandal came out but no one can really replace the kind of bond and friendship I have with Nicole. Maybe because we’ve been together since day one, she was the reason why I finally got my freedom and the person who stood out for me.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

“I’ve missed you too,” I smiled at her, “How are you feeling?”

“Worst, god I hate this flu, the timing is just so bad,” she complained, “My whole body aches and I can’t even go out of this fucking room,” she cursed and rolled her eyes.

I gave her a slight smile. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling even though she is not feeling well but I just missed every inch of her personality. I missed seeing how she rolled her eyes when she is pissed. I even missed hearing her cursed.

“Just take your medicine on time okay? And take a rest I’ll be here to take care of you if that will be okay with your new housemate,”

“Of course it’s okay with her if she doesn’t want me to kick her out,” she snorted. “I’ve been praying for a new housemate that can cook and God gave me a girl who can’t even hold a fucking pan,” she shook her head. “If I just didn’t know that you have a better life in LA, I’ll beg you to come back and cook for me again.”

“I can cook for you while I am here,” I assured her.

She hugged me again.

“Thank god so for how long will you be here then?”

I stopped for a while because I really don’t know what to tell him. I didn’t have the chance to talk to Carter and clear this out to him if I should stay here for a week, a month, for the whole summer or maybe forever.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Nicole asked sweetly.

I shook my head and was about to tell her that everything is okay, that I am fine but it was too late cause the tears I have been trying to keep for days fell my from my eyes non-stop.

“Jillian, what’s wrong?” she asked as she pulled me out into an embrace.

“I don’t know if I can still go back to LA, I think Carter just kicked me out,” I cried.

“Oh my god! What happened?”

I told Nicole everything that happened from the day I met Adriana until the time Carter asked me to go back to Miami Beach. I was crying the whole time and even after I was done telling her everything. It just hurt me so much that I really don’t even know why. I mean I am not even in love with Carter, right?

“If he doesn’t want you anymore, then let him, you don’t have to force him to take you, you can always go back here Jillian, Keith will take anytime of the day,” she said with aggravation.

Nicole was upset with Carter and she didn’t like how he handled the scandal. Like me, she thought that Carter shouldn’t take his aggravation and frustration out on me since he is the one who initiated the idea of me coming with him in LA.

“I know and I am really thankful for that, I’m just sad because I thought I have already established a life there, I was so happy that I was able to go back to school and for the first time I felt normal, I could be myself there, people don’t know me and couldn’t judge me, I was really happy there so it makes me sad if I won’t be able to continue that,” I wiped my tears, “I don’t want to go back doing this Nic, I can take any kind of job just not this anymore.” I cried.

“I know and don’t worry we will figure it out okay?  The two of us together just like before.”

She hugged me again. I am so happy to be here with her. Like old times she is the only person who can make me feel better despite the pain I am feeling. She is the only person who can see the bright side of a very dark situation.

 

 

Before the club opens Nate drove me to his home cause he had to stay in the club for the night. He left me with everything that I need and might need while he is gone. He even gave me a spare key to use. His apartment is very cozy, just plain black and white from the walling up to the furniture; everything has a touch of either black or white, another place of a normal bachelor.

After taking a quick shower and immediately hopped on the bed to take a good rest. My original plan was to stay with Nicole for the night but she insisted that I should take a rest.

I was lying on the bed while staring at my phone, I have nothing on it from Carter, no missed call, no voicemail message or even a text. I also checked my email hoping that he left me a message but I found nothing. It hurts me to know that he didn’t even bother to check on me. He didn’t even tried to know if I landed safely or if I was alive and reached my destination. I really wanted to withdraw the thought in my head that he stopped caring about me but it what it looks like and I hate myself because despite that I still couldn’t help not to miss him.

I wanted to call him, be the first to surrender from this silent war but I don’t want to invade the space he asked from me.

Earlier when Nate was driving me home, he mentioned about a job that he can refer me to in a club house as a receptionist. I don’t know where he got the idea that I was looking for a job maybe from Nicole but he said that the owner is a friend of his and he can easily get me the job if I want to. I told him I’ll think about the offer because its way better than me going back to the club and strip again.

What I just need now is to clear things out with Carter so I could start planning on what to do with my life. I just very thankful that I have so many good people behind who looks after and will always be there to pick me up.

Just before I closed my eyes to sleep I decided to just turn my phone off and keep inside drawer of the nightstand. If space is what Carter wants then its space that I am going to give him.

 

 

Around eight when I decided to come out of the bed the next day, I was awake all night. My eyes were closed but my subconscious is very much aware of what was happening on my surroundings, there was even a moment when I reached on my side hoping that I could touch Carter but all I found was nothing but an empty sheet.

I was even able to memorize the way the squirrel chirps from the outside or how many times the birds dropped by from the window.

All I could think about all night was Carter, his touch, his lips, those beautiful green eyes and that talented hands that make me go crazy every time he touches me. I feel like I am going insane, I’ve never like this before towards him. I even kept figuring out what I really feel about him but now that I could no longer see him or feel his touch it makes me crazy like another day of not seeing him will make me lose my mind. I don’t even know why? Am I falling in love with Carter? I hope not. Not in this kind of situation.

I came downstairs and found Nate in the kitchen making some breakfast for the two of us. He was wearing a gray shirt and a pair of white PJ’s. He looks like he just got out of the bed too.

“Hey gorgeous, how’s your sleep?” he asked cheerfully.

“Fine, I think I rested pretty well,” I lied.

I don’t want him to think that I am not comfortable in his home.

“Good, grab a chair and we’ll have breakfast,” he said and I sat on one of the barstools.

He placed a platter full of food like bacon, scrambled egg and toast in front of me and placed another one for himself. It smells delicious but I still do not have the appetite to eat anything.

“Coffee?” he asked.

I nodded. “So when did you learn how to cook?” I asked back, “The last time I checked, you were trying to figure out what to do with the sirloins.”

He laughed as I drove back memory lane, it was months back when I saw him at the supermarket trying to figure what to cook and what ingredients he needs.

“Well, after that encounter of ours, I have watched some cooking lessons online and tried to make those recipes myself,” he told me. “And I didn’t stop until I was able to perfect it and when I did so I decided not to get a maid anymore.”

I laughed.

“Well, I am so proud of you then,” I said.

“Thank you, let’s eat.”

“Can’t wait to taste this,” I said trying to fake my excitement.

I knew he cooked for me so its rude if I will tell him that I don’t have an appetite, besides Nate has been nothing but good to me and eating what he cooked for me is also my way of showing him I have appreciate everything he had done for me.

The food wasn’t bad at all, in fact it was really great, and I didn’t even expect that I will be able to finish my plate. After we ate I offered to do the dishes, at first Nate refused and told me to just fix myself so we can check out the club house that his friend own so I could see the place but when I insisted he surrendered and told me I could help him instead.

He washed and I wiped.

“I just take a quick shower and get ready okay?” I told him after we were done washing the dishes. 

Just when I was about to walk back upstairs Nate grabbed my hand and pulled me in his arms, things happened so fast cause he was holding my face with both hands slowly closing the distance between us. Last thing I knew his lips were on mine. I was stunned I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there and let him kiss me.

“I’m sorry Jillian, I have just been dying to do that since I saw you yesterday,” he said.

I bowed my head and touched my lips. I just let another man kiss me and I didn’t even stop him. 

He put his arms on my shoulders.

“Jillian, please don’t be mad at me,”

I shook my head; he just got carried away with the thought of us being here together I told myself over and over again.

“T-That’s okay,” I said then we heard three consecutive knocks on the door like someone is hurrying for the door to be opened.

Nate nodded and he went to see who it was on the door, I took that opportunity to run towards the stairs.

“Where is Jillian?”

I stopped when I heard that familiar voice who I have been longing to hear all night. I step back and glanced at the door.

There he was standing on the door wearing a pair of black suit and tie. He looks haggard like he didn’t sleep for days and he didn’t shave for weeks.

I couldn’t help myself from running towards him, pulled him into a tight embrace and crashes my lips on his. I knew Nate was there standing in front of us and that he just kissed me but I don’t care at all.

“Baby I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “Come on,” the he reached for my hand and started pulling me out of the house.

Then I realized that I was wearing a pair of Mickey Mouse PJ’s.

“Where are we going?” I asked, totally confused.

“I am taking you home.”

I was shocked. Home? To LA?

“But what about my things?”

“Marcus will take care of that,”

Nate was even calling my name but I had no choice but to go with Carter, I just mouthed “I’m sorry” to him and just let Carter dragged me inside the car waiting for us outside Nate’s home.

Carter’s initial plan was to take me back to California but I was able to convince him I will stay with Nicole for a couple more days. As always he said yes but he will also stay here in Miami Beach which is totally fine with me.

Though I was worried about his company and he told me that his dad is taking care of the situation and asked him to step back of the position for a while as they are trying to control any damage. I am still sad that the company is still not in good state but I am happy to be with Carter again.

 

 

After we left Nate’s house and after I convinced him that I will stay here for a while we went straight to the hotel that he owns where I was supposed to stay.

Right after he closed the door he pinned me on the wall and took my lips, we were both hungry with each other that we didn’t even reach the bed. We just made love on floor.

“What were you doing here?” I whispered.

I was lying on top of perfectly toned body, we were still on the floor and were still both naked. I don’t want this moment to end. My heart is filled with so much happiness, seeing him and being with him washes all the pain I was feeling this past few weeks.

He wrapped his arms around me.

“When the hotel called me and told me that you never checked in, I got worried, I called your phone but it was out of service,” he said slightly.

“I was going crazy so I called Nicole, I knew you will be with her no matter what, she was so angry at me that she was even yelling at me,” I laughed cause no one ever yelled at him. “She said that if I don’t want you then I should just let you go, that a lot of people are willing to take care of you, and that they will never let you down like what I did to you, it took me a while before I was able to shut her up and finally tell me where you at and she said that you are staying with that Nate guy and that he had a thing for you since the first day you got here,” he continued and tightening his embraced on me. “I was going crazy, I asked Phoebe to get me a flight last night but all the flights were fully booked, I personally went to the airport hoping for a chance that I can fly last night but there was nothing that they could do for me, so I stayed at the airport until I could get the earliest flight today, so here I was,”

My heart aches for him from what he had gone through but I feel like in a movie, I hated myself even more cause of the thoughts I had in mind that he doesn’t care about me anymore. Little did I know he was at the airport, imagine Carter Greene the hottest bachelor in Beverly Hills spent all night in the airport just to get to me. Tears fell from my eyes.

“I’m sorry Jillian, I really sorry for everything that I did, I shouldn’t have done that, I was really an asshole these past few days and I will do everything to make up for that, please give me another chance.” He begs. “I can’t live without you. I love you so much that I will die if I lose you."

I lifted my head to face him while the tears continue to fall from my eyes. I am so happy to hear that he still loves me that he loves me even more after what we have gone through.

“I’ll admit, how you treated me this past few weeks were difficult for me to go through, I thought I was losing you and I blamed myself for what happened with your company but it hurts me even more when you asked me to leave you, I thought I was losing and it was really painful for me but you know I was thankful that this happened because I realized how much you mean to me, I thought I was to lose my mind when you weren’t by my side last night.” I kissed his lips. “I love you Carter, with all my heart,” I whispered.

He held my face and looked at me straight into my eyes.

“You love me?”

I nodded. “I do, I have been in love with you for a while I just didn’t know until last night,”

He kisses me again and hugged me so tight.

“Oh god Jillian, you didn’t know how much you made me happy. I can lose everything not just you Jillian, not just you baby,”

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

I was putting on my pearl necklace when I glanced at the digital clock sitting on our nightstand. Ten minutes before eight. I am having dinner with Carter tonight. It’s been a week since we flew back to Los Angeles. He gave me some time to spend with Nicole before we decided to go back to our home. Things are going so well between us. After the night we spent at the hotel Miami Beach, Carter never left my side. As per his company, things are also starting to go back to normal. His investors are putting back their shares to the company but it is still being managed by Carter’s father, Mr. Greene.

I haven’t seen him but I will tonight, Carter set up a dinner for us tonight so I could meet his father. His father is living in Paris and recently went home when he was needed to save Carter’s company. He was now living at his mansion-like house in Orange County.

I looked at my reflection at the mirror and I am surprise to see how huge I changed from the last time I took the time to look at myself in the mirror. A year ago, I looked scared, damage and broken but now I look so alive. My short-sleeve-knee-length black dress is hugging my curves perfectly. As usual I didn’t put too much make up. I just want my natural beauty to be seen. I feel like the pieces of me are being put back together. Carter is putting me back together.

My thoughts were dismissed when I heard my phone rang. It’s Carter. He met up with his friend Frank before our dinner tonight.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey baby, you’re on your way?” he asked sweetly.

I reached for my purse on the bed and put my black laced stilettos on.

“I am on my way downstairs,” I said. “Are you at the restaurant already?” I asked.

“Not yet, I am driving my way though, I’ll see you there, okay?”

I nodded.

“Yes, of course. How’s Frank by the way?”

“He’s great, Lisa is pregnant,”

“Wow! That was fast,”

He chuckled.

“Yeah, I’ll see you at the restaurant, okay?”

I noticed the uneasiness on his voice.

“Are you alright? You seemed bothered,” I asked with a concern tone.

Is he worried that his dad might not like me?

“I am fine,” he said while taking a deep breath. “I just missed you, that’s all.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, of course,” he was smiling but I can still sense that something is bothering him.

I chose not to pry, but deep inside I am praying that everything is fine and that there is nothing we should worry about, especially his company. It once came between us and I don’t want that to happen again, not now that I madly in love with him.

“I’ll see you there then,” I said.

“Yeah, I love you babe,”

“Love you too, bye!”

I walked out of the house and saw Marcus waiting for me on the garage.  I get inside the car and waited for Marcus to start the engine.

On our way to the restaurant where Carter made the reservation, I was silently praying and hoping that everything is alright and that nothing bad is gonna happen. I don’t want to lose him. I have been in that place and it wasn’t a good place to be.

“Miss Jillian, we’re here.”

I heard Marcus say, I gave him a slight nod and get off the car as soon as he opened the door. I was standing in front of a French restaurant. I’ve been in this place before. The place is good and they have excellent customer service.

I walked inside and was greeted by a very beautiful host standing at the reception area.

“Bienvenue à Avec Nous Mademoiselle,”

I gave the lady a slight smile.

“I have a reservation with Mr. Greene,” I said.

She smiled and checked on her monitor.

“This way Ma’am,”

I followed her as she made her way inside the dining area. I noticed that the place is empty and I kind of wonder why. This place is usually crowded, this establishment indeed have a lot of patrons.

At the farther end of the dining area, I saw a man perhaps in his late fifties occupying one of the tables. He was wearing a pair of black suit. I think he is Carter’s father. I looked around but I don’t see Carter anywhere. Maybe, he is still on his way. I checked on my wristwatch, I am just on time, maybe he is running late. I don’t know what to do if I should just wait for Carter or I should approach the old man.

The beautiful host continues to walk towards the direction of the old man so I had no choice but to follow her.

“Here it is Ma’am,” she said.

I smiled and gave her a slight nod.

“I’ll have the waiter bring the menu,” she said and walked away from the table.

The man stood up and looked at me.

“You must be Jillian,” he said in a baritone voice.

I nodded.

“Yes sir,”

“Finally, I got to meet the face behind the name,” he said, “I am Caesar Greene, nice to meet you dear,”

“Pleasure to meet you Mr. Greene,”

I was shaking when I accepted his hand. He treats me okay but I kind of feel awkward, maybe because we are the only people there.

“Have a seat,” he said.

I did. I sat still on the chair and slightly checked on my phone, no text from Carter. I am hoping that he didn’t think that I should have dinner with his dad alone. I feel so tense that I can feel my nape sweating because I honestly don’t know how to act in front of Carter’s dad. I was never in this kind of situation before. I have never met the father of someone I dated because I didn’t date anyone in the first place.

“Where’s Carter?” he asked.

I swallowed the small lump on my throat.

“He’s already on his way sir,”

“I see, my son was never late,”

I smiled. I really don’t know what to say or what to react.

The waiter walked to our table and asked if we need everything, Mr. Greene asked for a wine and while I settled for sparkling water. I wonder where Carter is now. I silently sat there and checked my phone from time to time but there’s not even a single text on it. I badly wanted to call him or text him but I don’t want to be rude in front of his dad and I don’t want him to think that I am a clingy girlfriend either. I’ll just wait for Carter even if it makes me uneasy to sit there with his father sitting opposite mine.

Couple of minutes later, we were both stunned as the lights inside the restaurant turned off.

“Is there a black out?” I heard Mr. Greene mumbled.

Suddenly, a piano version of the song “Everything” by Michael Bublè played at the background and then I saw Carter popped from I don’t know where holding a candle light on his hands, slowly walking towards our direction. I noticed that every step he takes a light right under the glass floor turns on.

He looks gorgeous wearing a gray suit with no tie. His hair was comb perfectly; he looks too formal too, maybe it’s because I was meeting his dad.

He smiled at his dad and looked at me nervously.

“What’s all this?” I asked with confusion as he took my hand to stand up.

“Jillian, from the very beginning that I saw your beautiful face, you never left my mind. I think about you every second of every minute of every day,” he said as he grip on my hand tightly. “I thought I was going crazy when we were apart and it wasn’t a good place to be. I’ve missed you so damn much and I’ll do everything I can to keep you. I don’t want you to be gone again.”

My heart is beating so fast, I don’t know where this lead us but I have a huge feeling that it’s going to be great.

“I don’t care about your past Jillian, I only care about you being here with me. Let me be your family Jillian, I love you so much! Will you marry me?”

My eyes widened as I heard what he said and saw him knelt on his knee with a sparkling diamond ring on his hand. I feel like the world stops around me and that I was just dreaming.

“A-are you sure?” I asked innocently.

I saw him laughed slightly as he put my hand on his mouth.

“Of course baby, I am sure, I am damn sure. I want you to be my wife. I want us to be a family. I want you to have my name. I want you to have my offspring. I want us to grow older together. I want you to be by my side until my last dying breath. Please baby, say yes.”

I put my other hand on my mouth as I was trying to hold back my tears. I was completely taken away with the idea of him being my husband. I was overwhelmed with everything he said. My heart is full of love for Carter.

“Yes, I will marry you,” I answered in between sobs.

He stood up, put the beautiful ring on my finger and pulled me into his arms.

“I love you,” I whispered.

I didn’t care if his dad is there or if the whole dining staff is watching us I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him on his lips.

I am just so happy, I thought being with him again after our reconciliation in Miami Beach was the happiest day of my life but I was wrong. Today is the happiest day of my entire existence. I never felt this way before. Growing up all I felt was pain, fear and grievance, Grievance for losing my dad at an early age, pain for watching my mom waste her life and fear for my life by being with Dan but now it changed. Everything changed when I took the chance to escape town. It changed when I had the courage to leave everything behind and when I believed in Carter that everything will be alright.

I never thought I will be this happy. I thought God forgot that I exist but now I finally saw the light I was looking for and I thank God for it.

 

It’s been a week since Carter proposed to me and still hasn’t sunk into me that we are getting married. The engagement party is set this weekend and Carter would want us to get married before the new semester starts, and that is a month away from today. I feel like we are rushing into this wedding but I do not want to give Carter any bad impression that I do not want to marry him. He just seems so happy and I do not want to spoil the moment.

I was on my way to the café near the campus to meet Christy. She just got back from her Bahamas trip with Johnny. Brooke is still in the Caribbean so I haven’t had the chance to tell her about my engagement. I am hoping to get in touch with her soon so she could attend the party this Saturday.

I parked my Bentley right beside where Christy parked her Mini Cooper. I went inside the café and saw her sitting on the corner.

“Hey,” I greeted her as I walked towards the table.

She stood up and gave me a tight hug. Christy is looking perfectly tanned wearing her white v-neck shirt and plaid checkered skirt.

“Wow, I love how tan you got in Bahamas,” I said as I was sitting down. “I bet you did have a great time,”

She laughed at me.

“Well, yeah, I did, I feel like I really needed to get away, I mean Johnny and I really needed to get away,” she said, her eyes beaming. “This trip connected us even more and I feel like our relationship went even deeper.”

I smiled at her.

“I am so happy for you, like genuinely happy,”

“Me too,” she agreed. “Well, enough of me, how is the newly engage?”

She reached out to my hand and takes a look at my ring.

“This ring is really gorgeous and definitely costs a million bucks,”

I sighed.

“Yeah, I know, Carter did not want to disclose the price of this ring, but I am sure as hell that this costs a fortune.”

She laughed at me.

“Jill, you have been with Carter for more than a year, you should be getting used to this lifestyle by now.”

I nodded.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Stop complaining and start accepting that this is your life and being with Carter is your fate”

I smiled.

Christy and I talked a little bit more before we said our goodbyes. She said she still needed to run some errands for her mother.

I was walking towards the parking lot where I left my car when a black BMW stopped in front of me. I smiled as I remember the first time I saw Carter, when he was sitting on his car waiting for me outside Keith’s club.

A guy wearing a black suit and tie get off the car and stood in front of me.

“Can I help you?”

“Ma’am, Mr. Greene would like to pay him a visit,”

I unintentionally raised my brow? Why would Carter want me to pay him a visit when we are living together?

“Carter?” I asked.

“No Ma’am, Mr. Caesar Greene would like you to pay him a visit,”

I bit my lip.

“Oh! Carter’s father,”

My heart suddenly started to beat so fast. It’s been a week since I last saw him, actually and first saw him and he hasn’t called or talked to Carter since.

I only know very little of him. I know that he stays in Paris ever since Carter took over their family business. He is divorced with Carter’s mother who lives in New York with her new husband and Carter’s half siblings. I never met them and Carter hasn’t seen them in years. I am not even sure if they are coming to our wedding or if they knew Carter and I were engage or if they knew me at all for that matter.

“I have my car with me, should I just tail behind?” I asked.

I don’t wanna live my car at the café.

“Sure do Ma’am,” The guy said and got inside the black BMW.

I get inside my Bentley and started the engine. I stayed behind and noticed that we are heading to Hollywood Hills.

Nineteen minutes later we entered into a wide driveway and stopped in front of a floor to ceiling glass house. I was in awe of what I saw. Everything was beautiful. Did Carter live here? Is this where he spent his younger days?

The man in black suit assisted me to the main entrance where I was cheerfully greeted by a middle-aged woman wearing a navy blue short sleeve dress.

“Good afternoon Miss Winters” she warmly said to me. “This way Miss, Mr. Greene is waiting for you at the library,” she added.

I smiled back at her and followed her to the stairs. We stopped in front of a wide wooden door, I watched her knocked twice before she opened the door herself. I tailed behind her as she walked inside. Every corner of the room has floor to ceiling shelves with book in it. I wondered if he read all these books.

At the center of the room I found a wide glass table where a MacBook is sitting, a glass of bourbon or scotch and a couple of books. There is also a black leather swivel chair.

“Mr. Greene, she’s here,” the woman said without waiting for his respond, she walked out

I saw him standing with his back on us. He is wearing a cream knitted sweater and a pair of khaki pants. He looks comfy compare to when I saw him at the restaurant the night Carter proposed to me.

“Good Afternoon, Mr. Greene,” I greeted him nervously.

He turned around to face me. His expression is blank. I am really intimidated by this man.

“Good Afternoon Ms. Winters,”

Authority is obvious on his tone.

“Have a seat,” he said pointing his index finger on the wooden chair in front of his desk.

I sat nervously, put my bag on the floor right beside my feetand my hands on my lap.

“Do you want anything to drink? A whisky? A glass of wine?” he genuinely offered.

I shook my head. My body is shaking a bit and I don’t even know why. I don’t even know why I am here.

“Why am I here Mr. Greene?” I nervously asked.

He smiled at me.

“I am not going to beat around the bush,” he started. “I don’t like you for our family,” he told me.

I was stunned.

“The night when Carter proposed to me, you even congratulated us,”

He laughed as if I said a joke. What is funny?

“Do you expect a former CEO like me would make a scene and shout at everyone that I don’t like you for my son? I never expected you to be this clever Ms. Winters, you are much naïve than I expected.”

I swallowed. I don’t know what to say.

“I love your son Ms. Greene, and I am not after your family’s wealth,”

He stood up.

“I don’t give a damn on what you are after, I don’t want you to have our name, you almost ruined my great grandfather had worked hard for and I am not going to let you do it again.” He said, this time he is angry. “I want you gone,”

I swallowed. I once lost Carter and it wasn’t a great place to be. He was hurt when we were apart and I don’t want that to happen again.

“I love your son, believe it or not, I do, and I am glad that he loves me.” I said trying to keep my composure as my memories with Carter came flashing back on me. “I know my past was bad, I would change it if I could, but Carter saw me beyond of who I was, he chose to see what I could become and I will not do anything that will make him feel any pain, even if it means, fighting you for it.” I swallowed. “I don’t want to be rude, in fact I have the highest respect for you Mr. Greene, but I will only be gone when Carter wants me to be gone, until then I am not going anywhere,”

I stood up and started gathering my things.

“I’ll see myself out Mr. Greene, enjoy the rest of your day,”

I walked out of the room and his huge house. I know what I did was dangerous but I couldn’t just sit there and swallow everything he is saying to me. I don’t blame him if he doesn’t want me for Carter, I know who I was but I am not going to make that decision for Carter, he too should not. Carter is a grown up man, he can definitely make decisions for himself.

 

At home I decided to make some mac and cheese for dinner. I sent Martha home early and she was happy about it. After my encounter with Carter’s dad I am up for chores. My heart is beating so fast even though a couple of hours has passed. I also cannot take my mind off what happened earlier. I don’t know Mr. Greene aside from the obvious fact that he is Carter’s father and my soon to be father in law. I also know that he is the former CEO of their Real Estate Company but I don’t know what he can do or what he is capable of. I also do not know if I should tell Carter what happened this afternoon. I know how close he is with his dad and I don’t want to come between them. I am also hoping that I didn’t burn some bridges from what I did.

I glanced at my wrist watch, it ten to seven. Carter will be home anytime soon, I checked on the oven and the mac and cheeses will not be ready for a couple of minutes. I decided to take a shower to freshen up a bit.

The cold water lessen the anxiety I was feeling. I put on a white V-neck shirt and pair of denim shorts. I let my hair down and made my way downstairs.

The oven dings the same time I walked in the kitchen, the smell of cheese soothes my nostrils. My stomach garbled. I realized that I haven’t ate anything aside from the frappe I had with Christy.

My heart jumped in excitement when I heard Carter’s car entering the garage. His presence took all my worries away. I suddenly forgot my interaction with his father.

I turned the oven off, grabbed a pair of oven mitten and take out the pan from the oven. I put it on the island counter and made my way out of the kitchen to the living room to meet Carter.

He was wearing a gray office suit and put on an automatic smile when he sees me.

I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me for a quick kiss on the lips.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

I smiled.

“I’ve missed you more,” I replied. “Go change for something comfy, then we’ll have dinner,” I told him.

He nodded and once again pulled me into a tight hug before he went upstairs. As I was preparing the breakfast counter, I remembered his dad. It scares me but I had to fight him, I have to, I want to. Carter fought for me so many times and this is my chance to fight for him even if I don’t have any fucking idea on what my enemy is capable of.

 

 

I woke up the next day with the brightness coming from the outside. I glanced at the digital clock on the night stand, its 8:30 in the morning. Carter’s side of the bed is empty. He must’ve gone to work. I look at my naked self and my cheeks flushed as I remember the scene last night. As I was washing the dishes last night after dinner, Carter put me on the breakfast bar and made love to me there. It was kinky and sexy at the same time. We went to the bedroom and did it again and again and again until we were both exhausted and put ourselves to sleep. I can’t explain how happy I am with him. I don’t want to be away from him. Am I being obsessed with Carter? I asked myself. Can I be blame for it? He’s just perfect. He’s my perfect man and he loves me dearly.

My thoughts stopped as my phone rang. Nicole registered on the screen. I wonder why is she calling this early. Shouldn’t she still be sleeping at the hour?

I answered on the third ring.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

I climbed out of the bed and grabbed Carter’s button down shirt from the floor and put it on me.

“I’m sorry for calling but something terrible happened,” Nicole said, she was worried I can tell.

My heart jumped.

“Why? What happened? Are you alright?” I asked.

“The club USA in Orlando, someone set it on fire last night,” she said sounding disappointed.

What? Someone?

“Who?” I asked.

“We don’t know yet, Nate and Keith drove there and as far as I know the police are doing an investigation there as we speak. At first, we thought it was an accident but it was done intentionally, we thanked God that no one was there when it happened,”

My knees felt weak and my hands are shaking, as if I know who was behind it. I told Nicole to be careful and to give me an update if the police found out anything.

After I said my goodbye to Nicole I was about to dial Carter’s number when an unknown caller registered on the screen. My heart beat even faster as I answered.

“Hello?”

“Miss Winters”

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I heard his voice. Was he behind this? Oh God! No!

“Mr. Greene?”

I heard him let out a slight laugh.

“I can tell by the tone of your voice that you got the news,”

I shut my eyes. He’s the one who set the club on fire. But why? Was it because I refused to leave Carter?

“I-It was you,”

“Yes”

“But why?”

“I think you the answer to that question,”

“What happened was between us, you didn’t have to include them, they were innocents,” I ranted as tears fell from my eyes. “Carter will hate you,”

“They were involve with you which makes them not innocent, you were brave yesterday, I am a man of my word, I said I want you gone and I’ll do everything in my power to make you gone, regardless if it is within your will or not,” he said calmly, “And do you think he’ll take your whoring side over the father who took care of him, loved him, provided for him and saved the company he worked hard for? Don’t make me laugh!”

I felt really weak that I had to sit on the bed to stop myself from falling apart on the floor.

“I am just starting, I take everything your friend has, his filthy club in Miami Beach, his house, his partner’s apartment, that little town they have created behind that club and everyone in it,”

“Please stop!”

I couldn’t let him continue, I know he wasn’t fooling me, he’ll do what he said, and as much as I love Carter I couldn’t let the people I care for suffer for it. There is no choice left.

“I will be gone and I will not let Carter know, just leave my friends alone,” I whispered . . . begging.

“I want you gone today,” he said.

I wanted to protest but I decided not to. I don’t want to anger him cause I am scared that he might hurt my friends again.

“I set up a plane to take you to Pennsylvania, from there a car will take you to UPenn, your transfer has already been taken care of, I am not a bad person Jillian, you just really don’t fit in our family,”

Without saying goodbye he hung up the phone. Tears fell from my eyes nonstop. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. I don’t know where to go from here.

I compose myself and wiped the tears on my face. I went to our walk in closet and took my backpack out the cabinet. It’s been months since I last used it, it has been buried deep inside our closet and I never imagined that I will be needing it again. I put my important documents in it and the clothes that I had when I came here. I don’t want to take anything. I don’t Carter to think that I took his money. I will be leaving everything, the clothes, the car and the ring.

I sobbed so hard as I held on the ring on my finger. I thought having this ring secured me from what Carter feels for me but I was wrong. I am leaving again, no I am running again, I don’t know what will happen to Carter but I can’t risk having the people who took care of me when I had nothing and when I was in trouble be hurt because of the love I have for him.

I took a quick shower while tears continue to fall from my eyes. I put on a gray sweatshirt and a pair of denim pants. I tied my hair in a messy bun and put on my old converse. I left my face with no color at all. What I feel is all mixed up, hurt because I running again, I thought I will finally have a family in Carter, I feel the pain because my heart is breaking into a million pieces, I love him for the first time in my life, I felt in love and felt loved and I feel relieved because I know after today my friends in Miami Beach will be safe.

I sat on the bed holding my phone so tight. I need to hear his voice even for the last time.

I dialed his number and he immediately answered.

“Hey, I was about to call, I’ll be late tonight, Dad called me for some dad-son bonding, don’t wait up for me okay?” he said.

I cleared my throat for him not to notice that I have been crying.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I love you Carter, I love you so much,” I whispered.

I heard him smile.

“I love you too, everything okay?”

I wanted to tell him but I was scared.

“No, everything’s fine, I just missed you this morning, so I thought I’d give you a call.” I smiled weakly. “Thank you for everything you did for me, you gave me things I never had, you took me to places I’ve never been to and most of all, and you loved me despite of who I was, forgive my shortcomings. I love you Carter always and forever”

“Don’t think about that, are you sure, you’re okay,”

“Yeah I am, I was just being sentimental, be safe okay?”

“Yes, I’ll see you tonight,”

“Bye Carter”

I ended the call and placed the phone on the nightstand. There I saw the picture of us in Miami Beach. We were happy and in love. I put the picture inside my bag and made my way downstairs.

My tears are falling as I unlock the door and took a final glance on the house that has been my home for more than a year. The place where I started to dream again. It breaks my heart as I whispered my goodbye and walked away.

 

Chapter Fourteen

“Liz Williams” Nicole muttered.

I watched Nicole as she typed in my name on her cellphone. It has been two days since we bumped into each other at the Supermarket. I begged her to stay with me so we could catch up.

We are at a small café inside the Grand Central waiting her Nicole.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get use of this new you,” she said as she stuff her mouth with some omelet.

I gave her a smile and a slight shrugged.

“Tell me again why you changed your name?” she asked.

I sipped on my coffee and took a deep breath.

“I already told you, I needed it to start over,” I answered.

She rolled her eyes at me.

“I still couldn’t believe that all this time you didn’t call me to tell you where you are,” she sighed. “I feel bad that I was one of the reasons why never got your fairytale,”

I reached for her hand on the table.

“Don’t be, I will never happy knowing that you guys were hurt because of me,” I said as I slightly pressed her hand. “I am fine and for the past years I have learned to accept that the life I had in California wasn’t my fate. I was destined for something else,” I said with assurance.

“I can’t believe his dad was a monster,” she muttered between gritted teeth. “Do you miss him?”

I stopped for a while as I swallowed the lump in my throat as I felt the familiar pain in my chest again. I miss him every day for the past four years that we’ve been apart and there is no second that the thought of him slipped my mind. He is in my dreams every night and up to this moment I still wonder what if I didn’t leave? What if his father wasn’t against me? But I immediately withdrew those thoughts away. I don’t think I have the right to think of him or even have what ifs, I was the one who left and ran away even if it was for a good cause.

“Sometimes,” I answered with a shrugged.

“So it was your shrink who helped you escape?” she asked again.

Although, I have told her a hundred times on what really happened to me within to two days that she stayed at my apartment, I still answered her question.

When I left Beverly Hills, the people of Mr. Greene flew me to Pennsylvania via private plane, from there I was drove to the University of Pennsylvania where I was already enrolled and had a reserved dorm.

For months I have I tried my best to study but I knew I was being watched, if by who I didn’t know but I had a feeling it was Mr. Greene.

It was hard because for the first time I was all alone, I didn’t have Nicole or Keith or Nate and I certainly didn’t have Carter. It breaks my heart that there were times where I couldn’t move because of the pain I feel in my heart. I felt empty and stagnant.

That very moment I decided I need help, I didn’t want to live in fear, I didn’t want to feel the same feeling when I was still in St. Louis. When Dan still have a control over me. So I called her, I called Dr. Ashley Sullivan. I knew she can help me. I told her everything, from my visit at Mr. Greene’s house in Hollywood Hills. She said that she wasn’t surprise at all. I told her how scared I was and she promised to help me.

On my third month in UPenn, she secretly met with, we came up with the idea of moving me to New York so I could live normally but it will only happen if Jillian Winters will no longer exist. I was desperate for a fresh start. I wanted to be normal so I agreed. She flew me to New York the night after and she helped me file a petition to change my name. Elizabeth Williams is her great grandmother’s name. She was a lovely woman as per the stories of Dr. Sullivan. She help me get in NYU and start a new life. She also advised to change the color of my hair, I gave up my natural blonde locks to exchange it to brownish shoulder length hair. I also wear glasses so I’ll like mature.

For the past six years I have lived normally and I couldn’t thank Dr. Sullivan for all the help she’d done for me. Up until this day we still have communication.

I said goodbye to Jillian Winters way back six years ago but the whole that was left in her heart is still being felt by Liz Williams.

 

 

I knocked on the door of Headmistress Jane Montgomery three times before I actually opened the door. The instruction was knock three times then open the door. So I did.

I saw a sophisticated woman in her early fifties sitting on her desk while holding a sheet of paper in her hands.

“Headmistress, you wanted to see me?”

She looked up to me, put the paper on the desk and took off her glasses.

“”Have a seat Miss Williams,”

I occupied on the chairs located on the front of her desk. Her skin is wrinkled but her beauty is undeniable. She is wearing a lavender ruffled blouse paired with a gray slacks.

“I just finish reading this letter that you’re planning on sending to Mr. and Mrs. Grayson,” she spoke.

I nodded.

“Yes, Headmistress,” I agreed. “If you allow me, I would like to speak with them in person in regards with the behavior of Stephanie Grayson in this school.” I elaborate.

She cleared her throat and stood up.

“I was told that it was regarding the hierarchy in this school, I know that you came from a public school and it was fine with the board but the hierarchy has already been established in this school way in the 50’s,” she told me.

So I was told. I wanted to say to her.

“I definitely understand that Headmistress and I have nothing against the hierarchy because it drives the student to do great and be more active in school.” I said sighting the benefit of the hierarchy, “What concerns me is that the power that the chosen student gets, that sometimes it cannot be avoided that the power is being overused.”

She nodded. I hope she agrees with me, Headmistress can be intimidating sometimes since she came from a very wealthy and prominent family. She was also the first chosen Queen since the hierarchy started.

“I do get your point, girls of this generation can be difficult to deal with sometimes,” she said as she sat on her leather chair again. “We can schedule a meeting with the Parent-Teacher Committee so your concerns can be discussed and we can site a plan or a solution in regards with this matter.”

I smiled at her. I didn’t expect that she will somehow agree with me. Most of the teachers here are scared to voice out their opinions since she is tough most of the time.

“Thank you Headmistress,”

She nodded again. I knew it was my cue to leave so I stood up and made my way out of her office.

I turned the lights on of my apartment. It was empty like how I left it earlier this morning. The day ended just how I expected it. Ever since I graduated from NYU and transferred to this place from the NYU campus dorm I was stuck with my daily routine; wake up, go to work, go home and sleep. Tomorrow it will be the same.

The place is quiet again, it was a bit lively when Nicole stayed with me for two days. God! I missed her already. She promised to get in touch with me in the condition that she will not tell either Keith or Nate that she found me. I am a different person now and them knowing what happened to me will only complicate things, besides I really do not want to explain anything again.

Nicole told me that Carter flew to Florida the day I went missing. He made a scene at the club cause he believed that Keith took me. A couple of security at Keith’s club had to carry him out of the club since he is disturbing the other guest.

He was a mess and hurting. Those were Nicole’s words. He constantly flew to Florida every weekend and he gets the same news. I wasn’t there. Until after exactly a year he stopped going to Florida.

I felt so much paid and hurt after Nicole told me that story. I wanted to cry but I tried not to. I have been crying for the past six years. It didn’t help me much. There are times that I looked at him on the internet but I haven’t done that for years. It only hurts me even more when I see him devastated or when I see him with someone else.

I took off my coat and walked towards my fridge to get something to drink. I feel exhausted. I started interviewing students to help decide on what major will fit them the most. Plus, Ivy Week is already in the corner and all the senior students are cramming their GPA’s so they could get accepted on the Ivy school of their choice.

I still hadn’t heard from the parents of the Stephanie Grayson, my letter was sent to their penthouse in Fifth Avenue three days ago. I hope they will be attending the Parent – Teacher Associate meeting this Saturday night to discuss the matters of hierarchy at St. Therese.

My phone which I placed on the couch rang so I went to pick it up and check on it.

I have one text message received.

[Will in town next week. Let’s meet?]

I smiled when I read the text message from Dr. Sullivan. It’s been months since she last visited New York so I suddenly got excited.

Her visits to me eases the emptiness that I feel in my heart. She is the only person who knew what happened. I typed in my reply.

[Of course, let me know when so I can clear my scheduleJ]

I typed another next

[Are you here for work?]

My phone dings again.

[I am attending a conference. It’s gonna be sometime next week. I’ll let you know when]

I replied [Sure. Can’t wait! I have so many things to tell you.]

[Me too. About the Greene’s]

My heart skip a beat. This is the first time in a long time that she mentioned them.

[Anything I should know now?]

I was fidgeting while waiting for the reply.

[None at this time. We’ll talk when I get there]

I closed my eyes, I never thought Dr. Sullivan can be such a cliffhanger.

[Okay. See you.]

I took a deep breath as I wondered what it is that she wants to talk to me about the Greene’s. She didn’t even specify if it was about Carter or his father. I frustratingly sat on the couch and just trusted Dr. Sullivan with whatever it is that she is planning on telling me. Sometime next week is just around the corner. I just hope that I can stop myself from thinking about it.

 

 

“Taxi!’

Finally! I said under my breath, out of all the seven days in the week why is it to be the day that I didn’t hear my alarm? Yesterday I was told by Stephanie Grayson that her guardian will be meeting me today. I can’t be late. Headmistress Jane will be furious for sure.

The day couldn’t not be any worse cause I have been standing from the sidewalk for 30 minutes before I was able to get a cab.

I was about to get in when a tall guy wearing a blue button down shirt and khaki pants climbed inside the cab before I did.

“Hey!’ I snapped at him holding the door of the back of the cab.

He looked at to me and gave me a smile. The guy is good looking with his perfect set of white teeth, gray eyes, and sharp pointed nose but it wasn’t the point. He’s stealing the cab I waited for thirty minutes.

“Yes beautiful?” he asked as if he doesn’t know what is going on.

“I got the taxi first,’ I said.

“Oh! But I am already sitting here and you’re still standing there, so I think I got it first?” he arrogantly said to me.

WTF? Can this day get any worse? I checked my wristwatch, I am really running late. I don’t have the time to play games with this arrogant good looking asshole.

“Sir, I am running late for work, my alarm didn’t work all of a sudden so if you could please get off this cab that I have waited for thirty minutes I would really appreciate it.” I said calmly.

He smiled at me.

“Well, I would really like to do you a favor but I am also running late for my appointment, so how about we exchange numbers and we can meet up for some drinks tonight?”

Is he really hitting on me? Is he insane? After he acted to ungentlemanly towards me he wants to meet up for drinks?

I can feel my blood circulating to my brain.

“Alright! I don’t have time to play around with you, I tried to be civilized and calm but you are just so much of an asshole so I am just going to say this, get off of the fucking cab because I hailed it first cause I am really running late, my boss will kill me and if that happens I will hunt you down and bury you alive!” I am pissed that I am staring at him with daggers.

I don’t really get mad because I had too since I am a guidance counselor and teenagers are kind of hard to deal with and being authoritative never worked with them so I have learned to discipline them in the nicest and calmest way possible.

“Wow! Fierce! I like it, you realized that you are getting hotter and hotter by the minute and when you’re mad?”

He didn’t even flinch. In fact he put his hands on his chest and stretch his legs from where he is sitting making himself comfortable.

“Are you seriously hitting on me?” I furiously said.

He laughed.

“Okay, you can sit beside me, the cab will take me to my appointment then he can drive you to yours, how’s that sound?”

I narrowed my eyes. This guy is unbelievable! Arguing with him is only wasting my time. There is not point talking to him.

“Well, I hope you enjoy your ride! Jerk!’ I said then I slammed the cab door on his face.

I stomped my way to hail another cab while silently praying that I won’t be late.

 

 

I didn’t make it on time for my appointment with the Grayson’s. In fact I was forty minutes late which is the first time since I landed this job. I really hate that rude guy.

I ran-walk my way towards my office while fixing my peach buttoned down shirt paired with black knee length pencil cut skirt and black pumps.

I was about to get inside the office when I saw Headmistress Jane on the hallway looking at me as if I was her child and I got an F on a major exam.

“You are late! Mr. Grayson has been waiting for you for an hour! This is unacceptable Ms. Williams” she said emphasizing her every word.

“My apologies Headmistress,” I said. “I will be attending Mr. Grayson now,”

I didn’t wait for her to speak, I just excused myself instead then entered my office. I saw Stephanie Grayson sitting on one of the wooden chairs in front of my desk while the other one was occupied by Mr. Grayson. Their backs were on me so I don’t see their faces.

“I am really sorry I was late Mr. Gray-“

I wasn’t able to finish what I was trying to say when I saw who Mr. Grayson is.

“You?”

He was the jerk earlier who stole my cab and the reason why I was late. Is he Stephanie’s father? He’s young to be one though, since he looks like we’re on the same age.

“When my sister told me that a guidance counselor wanted to meet me I expected someone old and wrinkled not someone beautiful and attractive,” he mumbled.

I saw Stephanie rolled her eyes. His statement answers my question, so he’s Stephanie’s brother, maybe I wasn’t surprise where Stephanie got her behavior.

I took a deep breath. I can’t believe he’s still hitting on me but I decided to disregard what he said.

“Mr. Grayson, I am not going to apologize for being late because I think we both know why, so let’s just go into the main reason why we’re all here,” I said as I put my things on the table and took a seat. “Your sister here is showing some unseemly behavior towards her schoolmates, I certainly think that she is overusing her power being the chosen Queen Bee of this school,” I said directly not holding any barred.

“Unbelievable! I already explained this to you,” Stephanie snarled.

I chose to keep quiet and wait for her brother to speak up.

“Liz Williams, nice name huh? By the way I am Dylan, Dylan Grayson,”

I sighed in disappointment cause he didn’t even react on what I said, instead he kept on hitting on me.

“Mr. Grayson, I believe you are here to represent your parents in regards with the attitude of Stephanie towards her schoolmates,” I said disregarding what he just said.

He put his arms on his chest, just like what he did earlier at the cab.

“Well, pardon my spoiled brat little sister if she is overusing her power as the leader of this school,” he said, I silently smiled because at last he is saying something sensible.

“Dylan!” Stephanie growled.

“It concerns us because it seems like the hierarchy is getting out of control for this generation,” I sighted.

He nodded.

“I think I might have some ideas on how can we keep things under control,”

“Well, I am glad to hear your thoughts Mr. Grayson,”

“How about over dinner?”

I sighed and shook my head. Just when I thought we were having a sensible conversation, he just showed me what a total jerk he is.

Chapter Fifteen

“Hey Beautiful!”

The Parent-Teacher Association assembly just finished a couple of minutes ago and I was gathering everything that I have used in hosting the said meeting when Dylan Grayson came to me wearing a gray suit.

This guy has been constantly following me around ever since we meteach other three days ago. He has been consistently attending all the school functions concerning his sister Stephanie. I wondered why because one of the teachers in this school said that he never attended one before. I don’t like to think it was because of me but its hard not to.

“Mr. Grayson,” I said acknowledging his presence.

He smiled and put his hands on the pocket of his pants.

“Why so formal, call me Dylan,” he uttered.

“Okay, Dylan,” I said

Then I turned my back on him with my things on my hand and started to make my way out of the auditorium. I glanced on my wristwatch, it’s past 5 pm and I should go home.

The assembly went well than I expected, majority of the parents understood the point of the guidance council in regards with over using the given power to the chosen Queen.

“So did you like the flowers I sent you?”

I didn’t know he followed me down the hallway. Ever since our meeting three days I have also been getting flowers delivered to my office every morning. They are beautiful flowers so putting them in the trash would be cruel.

“Why do you sent me flowers every day?” I asked back as I continue to walk.

“Well, I like you and I want to date you,” he answered straight forward.

I just shook my head. He was arrogant and acted like a complete jerk to me three days ago and he wants to date me?

“You gotta be kidding me,” I whispered.

I opened the door of my office and I knew he was going to follow me inside so I stopped at the door and turned to face him. I am already being teased by my colleagues and if someone sees us in the office, even though we’re not doing anything will only make them teased me more. I have been living normally for the past six years and I plan on continuing that, I don’t need an arrogant good looking jerk take that away from me. Dating is the last thing on my mind.

“Only authorized personnel allowed inside,” I said to him with a blank expression on my face.

“How about let’s have dinner? My treat.” He offered.

I shook my head. He’s just unbelievable.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

I really couldn’t contain myself from asking him what the hell he wants from me because from the looks of him, he’s not the kind of guy who would settle with one girl. I know the likes of him. I have learned to see the different kind of guys for the past six years I lived alone. He’s not the first guy who wanted to play me, I didn’t fall for it before, and I will definitely not fall for it now.

He leaned on the wall, his side on me.

“Well, I thought I made it clear with the flowers I have sent you,” he said. “I like you Liz,”

I took a deep breath. He said the like word again. Why does he keeps on using that word to me? And why is he calling me by my first name?

“Dylan, I don’t have time to play around with you, I know that the kind of guys like you are not going to take girls like me seriously, so please just look for another girl you can play with, please,”

He stood straight and looked at me straight in the eyes.

“It hurts that you think that little of me,” he said, “It’s odd for a guidance counselor like you on how quickly you judge other people,”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, suddenly I don’t know how to response to him. Did I judge him? Was I wrong?

“I was just basing my judgement on how you act towards me, you stole the cab I have waited for thirty minutes the first time we saw each other, you acted a complete jerk after I told you I was running late,” I muttered with conviction.

I lick his lips and smiled at me a little.

“I didn’t tell you but I hailed the cab before you did,” he said. “I was also running late for my appointment with you, I was really trying to make a good impression because my sister told me that you are kinda tough to deal with, our parents are a little neglectful of us, all they care about was the family business, their social status and their children not to disappoint them, no wonder Stephanie acts the way she does cause she’s trying to get our parents attention,” he added. “So yes, I admit I was a bit of an ass that time but I was just trying not to disappoint my sister the way our parents usually does.”

Guilt started building in my chest. He was right, I was too quick to judge him. I never knew that Stephanie is going through like that or him for that matter.

“I know I come out as playful and sometimes an ass, but I am sincere when I told you I like you, and if you don’t want anything to do with, that’s okay, I am not going to force you and I won’t bother you anymore.” He said. “Have a nice day,” he added and he turned his back on me.

He started walking away and I suddenly didn’t know what to do or say. I felt bad cause I was mean to him from the very moment he went towards me until the very minute he turned his back on me.

“Dylan, wait-“

He stopped but didn’t turn around to face me.

“I didn’t mean to judge you. I’m sorry,” I mumbled looking down. “And dinner would be nice,” I swallowed.

What am I doing agreeing to have dinner with him? Yeah, he said he isn’t a player but why did I believe him so fast? Am I going to date him? Of course not!

I watched him walked his way back to where I was standing.

“I’d like that,” he said smiling.

“I’ll go with you as friends, okay?” I clarified.

He nodded.

“I’ll wait in the car,”

“Okay.”

He walks towards the hallway and I went inside my office sighing. What the hell did I get myself into?

 

Dylan brought me to a Thai restaurant in 2nd Avenue called Up Thai, I’ve never been to that place before although I have passed by the sidewalks of 2nd Avenue in the past.

The place is nice and cozy, the walls are made of brick designed in different continents of the world. There are colorful lanterns hanging and the wooden chairs and tables accentuated the Thailand theme of the place.

“I am hoping of getting to know you more,” Dylan said as we settled ourselves on our seats.

He chose to sit at the corner part of the restaurant. A waiter came up to us and handed us the menu. I’ve only tried Thai food once, it was a bit spicy on my taste so I never tried it again but Dylan persuaded me to try it with him, I didn’t know but my instinct just trusted him.

I let Dylan order for us, the waiter took note of it and went to the counter.

“There is really nothing to know about me,” I said avoiding his gaze.

When the court granted my petition to change my name, Dr. Sullivan and I came up with the idea of changing my childhood life. Liz Williams lost her parents in a car crash at an early age so she grew up with her foster family in New Jersey. Her foster father died when she was in high school while her foster mother moved to England after she gone off to college.

“I know you don’t know me Liz, and I seem like a player to you but I would like to change that,” he said. “I hope you will give me a chance,”

I looked down. I felt the sincerity on his tone but I feel strange, maybe because it was the first in six years that I let someone take me out for a dinner. This is the first time since I ran away from California that I let a guy sweet talk me and I don’t know how to react about it. I don’t have any plans of dating him or lead him on.

“Dylan, I am not really looking for a relationship,” I said.

He nodded and sip on his glass of water.

“Bad break up?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Sort of,” I answered.

He took a deep breath.

“Well, I am not rushing things, I’m fine being friends for now,”

“Okay,”

Our food was delivered to us and we ate while we talk about him, he told me that his profession is photography and he owns a gallery in Brooklyn. His parents were against it because they would like him to take over their multi-billion dollar company. He lives in a hotel room at The Palace and Stephanie stays with him sometimes. He’s the same age as I am and he graduated at Yale University with the master’s degree in business but later on focused on his passion. He played football in high school and college and he never had a serious relationship, though his mother often introduced her to high society women but none of them catches his interests. All in all he’s a bit interesting.

After our dinner his car service drove me to my apartment.

“I had a good time,” I said genuinely. “Thanks for the treat,”

We were still inside the car.

“My pleasure,” he said. “I hope we can do this again,”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “Be safe Dylan,”

“I will, good night Liz,”

“Goodnight,”

He kissed me on my cheek before I got off the car. I thought it was going to be awkward but it wasn’t at all.

 

 

The next day, I woke up before my alarm because I didn’t sleep well the previous night. I was anxious, rolling to my bed, left and right. I can’t get Dylan out of my mind. Our dinner last night kept on replaying on my head and when I finally was able to find my slumber I dreamed of him, yes him, Carter Greene. For the first time since my departure from his house in California, I suddenly dreamed of him, which is very strange because during the first few weeks since I left I was having a hard time dealing with the pain in my heart and all I have wanted was to see him in my dreams, I wanted him to tell me that he forgave me and that he understands. But it never happened.

Last night was the total opposite of what I have wanted for the past years, he was mad because he thinks I betrayed him, and he found out about Dylan and I just didn’t know why? He was so angry at me for being close to Dylan.

I took a deep breath and decided to just get off my bed and prepare for work. I shouldn’t be thinking of them, I shouldn’t think of Dylan because I just met him, and I have already made up my mind that I will only be friends with him, nothing more, nothing less. I also shouldn’t be thinking of Carter because he is a thousand miles away from me and I am Liz Williams now, Carter is part of Jillian’s past, not Liz’.

So instead of focusing on my love life, I should just spend my energy on my work, because that is way more important than the guys. My work at school is my bread and butter, this is what I have wanted, a normal life, this is what I have now so I will do everything to keep this life.

Since I woke up early, I was also done dressing myself up early which good, I am planning on walking to school. A little exercise will be good for me, it will also take my mind off of things that aren’t important.

The weather is nice, it was a bit chilly but relaxing, I put my coat and earphones on and made my way outside the building.

Once I was at the street, I noticed a black limousine parked in front of my building. Then I remembered Carter again and the limo he rented for the charity event we attended the night I met Adriana Krueger.

“Damn Liz! You should stop thinking about him,” I muttered.

I was about to walk my way to the school when the passenger seat door of the limo opened and saw Dylan climbing out of it.

“Liz,” he called me.

I removed my earphones and walked towards him. He was wearing a black suit and tie which is a bit strange since he usually wear a button down shirt paired with khaki pants or denim jeans.

“Hi, you look formal,” I smiled at him. “By the way, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I was actually in the neighborhood,” he replied.

I shook my head.

“No you’re not,” I said.

He laughed.

“Okay, you got me there,” he surrendered, his hands in the air. “I was actually on my way to my father’s firm and I thought I could drive you to work,”

“That explains your choice of wardrobe today,” I said. “So you will be working with your dad? What will happen to your gallery?”

He took a deep breath.

“I’ll tell you in the car, shall we?”

‘”Okay,”

He helped me climbed inside the car and we sat beside each other. I don’t know what I am doing but I told him we could be friends, so this shouldn’t look bad at all.

“Where are we?”

“Your gallery,” I reminded him as the car pulls away.

“Well, a friend of mine will be taking over it for me,” he said. “My mom kind of convinced me to try working for my dad and she kind of uses her post Hollywood actress skills on me so it made me forgot how to say no,” he explains.

I slightly nodded.

“Maybe, you’ll like it there, just give it a try,” I said. “Maybe, you’ll find your passion in that business,” I added.

“Is being a guidance counselor your passion, is it your dream?”

I stopped for a while as I remember what I wanted to become when I was a kid.

“Not really, when I was still a kid, I actually dreamed of being a doctor,”

His eyes widened, like he was amazed or something.

“Wow! What happened? Why didn’t you pursue it?” he asks.

I shrugged my shoulder.

“Honestly, I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t for me,” I said sounding hopeless.

He shook his head.

“I don’t believe that,” he said sincerely. “I think if you will just work for it, you will eventually get it,”

I laughed.

“Who knew that the arrogant good looking jerk who stole my cab can encourage me to go after my dream,” I was joking.

“Well, you never know Ms. Williams, but I am full of surprises,” he said. “Wait, did you just say that I was good looking?”

I bit my lip because I totally said he was good looking. Gosh!

“Yeah, you are, but you should’ve took note that I also said you are an arrogant jerk”

“Nope, didn’t notice at all, I only heard, good looking,”

Then we both laughed. It was actually a good genuine laugh which I totally cannot remember the last time I laugh like that. It’s strange how comfortable I got with Dylan, given the fact that I once have trust issues with people. Maybe being Liz Williams was good for me.

The car pulled over in front of the school, before I climbed off of the car, I said my goodbye to him and he once again kissed me on my cheek. 

 

 

I glanced at myself after I was done putting on my lipstick. I am meeting Dr. Sullivan at a coffee shop at Fifth Avenue today. I look completely different. I was wearing a cappuccino colored short sleeve-above the knee dress. It was kind of cold so I put on my black stockings and paired it with my nude pumps.

I am feeling anxious and nervous maybe because of what Dr. Sullivan will tell me about the Greene’s. I am also feeling excited of seeing her. I don’t know if I am going to tell her about Dylan Grayson, who is consistently texting me ever since the night we had dinner, not to mention the flowers that are still being delivered to my office every day. I am feeling flattered every time he sends me sweet messages, it’s been a while since I felt that way, actually six years to be exact.

It wasn’t hard to find her when I entered the café, she was at the corner part of the small establishment wearing a tangerine ruffled blouse and cream slacks.

The medical conference she is attending is just across the street from that café.

“Hey,” I greeted her.

She stood up and pulled me for a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you dear,” she said. “You look good,” she complimented me.

I took off my black trench coat and put it on the chair beside mine opposite Dr. Sullivan’s with my handbag.

“Thank you, I’ve missed you too,” I said, smiling.

I’ve missed her, she’s the only person that I feel protected and secured within the last six years of my life.

A teenage barista wearing a black shirt and black jeans with black apron walked towards our table and handed us both a menu.

“Hi! My name is Krista, I’ll be your barista for today,” the waitress greeted us warmly.

We both smiled at her.

“I’ll have a latte,” I said. “How about you doctor?” I asked.

She thoroughly checked the menu.

“I think I’ll go with a grilled cheese sandwich and an espresso, triple shot,” she orders.

“Alright, I’ll be right back with your orders.”

We watched her walked away.

“So how are you these days?” she asked, leaning towards the table.

I gave her a slight smile.

“I’ve been good, work is okay, and I----,“ I said leaving a cliffhanger.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him about Dylan, although there isn’t a lot to tell since I am not dating him and like what I have been saying over and over again I don’t have any plans of dating him.

“What is it?” she asks.

I bit my lip.

“Liz, you know you can tell me anything,” she said with her eyes on me.

I took a deep breath.

“I actually met a guy but it’s nothing,” I said then taking it back right away.

She looks at me intently, I know that look, it’s the look that she has whenever she wants to throw her $0.2 at me. I have learned to memorize that look over the years.

“Say it,” I said. “Throw your $0.2 at me,”

“It’s okay for you to like someone Liz,” she muttered, “Like what I have been telling you before, leave the past in the past, what happened between you and Carter was awful but it doesn’t mean that you will forbid yourself to be happy, you’re young, beautiful and you have so much to offer the world, you are Liz Williams now, you should’ve buried the pain when you chose to Jillian Winters not to exist,”

I gave her a slight nod. I didn’t want to argue with her, I didn’t want to let her know that I don’t want to be happy because I know deep inside me, the pain I felt when I left Carter is still the exact pain I feel in my heart.

“I’ll try,” I said. “By the way, what was it that you wanna tell me but couldn’t do it over the phone? About the Greene’s” I asked, changing the subject, besides my curiosity is killing me.

She nodded.

“Okay, Caesar Greene is ill, and it’s not good, his medical team gave him three months to live,” she said with a blank expression on her face.

I was stunned I didn’t know what to say. The thought of man who was behind my misery dying never crossed my mind.

“His dying wish was for Carter to marry Adriana like what was planned when they were little kids, the engagement was set to be announced to the media this weekend.”

My chest tightened and I was having a hard time breathing.All of sudden everything around me slows down. Dr. Sullivan still talks to me about something else but it seems like I am not hearing her or the people at the café, I was only hearing one thing: the sound of my heart breaking, over and over again.

Chapter Sixteen

 

My days passed like a bullet without me even noticing it. Dr. Sullivan was back in California but the news that she brought to me still playing in my mind over and over again. For the past couple of days I have been living like a total robot or maybe a zombie. I am back with my routine except that I don’t eat. I have no appetite at all. I couldn’t sleep too. The pain that I feel in my heart is excruciating. The silence is deafening.

That Saturday morning I was sitting on the balcony of my apartment with my fourth coffee in hand. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane and awake.

I still couldn’t believe that he is marrying Adriana Krueger, he didn’t even love her, he told me that. He’s father is dying but he can still have things the way he wants them to be.

Last night was the announcement of their engagement to the press. Tears roll down to my cheeks as I remember that six years ago, I was supposed to be that, it was supposed to be my engagement that was being announced.

My phone rang on the nth time, I didn’t even bother checking it, I don’t even know where I put it, I was just hearing it ringing non-stop. I think it was Dylan, because I haven’t answered his calls or text ever since my meeting with Dr. Sullivan. I don’t even know how to, I can’t deal with him right now. I was also avoiding him at all cost whenever he tries to visit me at work.

Speaking of work, Headmistress Jane has been on my back lately, I know she noticed how I lack focus on work. I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t help it. It was as if all of sudden everything didn’t make sense at all.

Truth is, I thought I was okay with it, or at least I should try to be. I’ve already thought about it way back years ago. I knew that sooner or later, he will move on, he will get his life back, he will treat what happened to us like a phase he had to go through and I was going to be okay with that, I knew it will hurt but eventually I’ll learn to accept it. He deserves to be happy, but knowing that he will marry the girl he never loved multiplied the pain a thousand times more.

Funny thing is, I was the one who left, I shouldn’t even be thinking about him, I shouldn’t even e questioning who he marries, I don’t have the right, I lost my right the moment I walked out of that door regardless of my reason for leaving.

My phone rang again but like earlier, I didn’t even bother looking for it. Then my intercom started buzzing meaning there is someone at my door downstairs. My apartment is in the fifth floor of a building in Madison Avenue.

I walked to the intercom to check who it was.

“Jillian, I mean Liz, are you there?”

I thought I was dreaming when I heard that familiar voice of Nicole. Isn’t she supposed to be in Florida?

“Nicole?” I asked, trying to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

“Yes it was me, for the love of Christ, open the door, it’s freezing out here,” she ranted.

I immediately push the button to open the gate from the building entrance. While waiting for her I took the chance to find my cell phone. I had eighteen voicemails, six from Dylan and twelve from Nicole.

“I thought I was going to die there, why it has to be that cold here,” she continues to rant as she walks to my door.

I was standing in front of her and staring at her intently, I can’t believe she is here.

“What are you doing here?”

She took off her fur coat, I noticed she is wearing a pink tank top, skin tight jeans and a pair of ankle boots.

“Wow! So much for the warm welcome,” she was being sarcastic.

I went to her and hugged her.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant, I was just surprise to see you here,”

We walked to the couch and sat beside each other.

“Well, I was worried, I was calling to check on you but you never answered, so I took the first train this morning,” she said as she reached for my hand. “I saw the news,”

At first I was wondering why she was worried but her latter statement answered my question. Tears started rolling down my cheeks again.

“I’ve known it for days, Dr. Sullivan told me about it,” I said dryly.

“Oh sweetie,”

I felt her pulling me on a tight hug. I just cried in her arms for I don’t know how long. My heart is still breaking into pieces but I somehow feel relieved knowing that Nicole is here. As always, I feel safe knowing that she’s around.

 

 

“I can’t believe Carter is marrying that bitch,”

Nicole and I are sitting on my bed Buddha style with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and chocolate chips in front of us. I just finished telling her what Dr. Sullivan told me with tears flowing non-stop from my eyes.

She also showed me the news she saw on YouTube, it was an interview of Carter and Adriana the night of their announcement. She looks perfection and he looks happy. I should be glad but the pain is still the same.

“All I want is for him to be happy, nothing else,” I whispered.

Nicole put a mouthful of vanilla ice cream in her mouth.

“Let’s not talk about them,” she said, shaking her head. “So who’s Dylan?” she suddenly asks,

Dylan called again earlier while I was crying and Nicole saw it.

“No one,” I said shaking my head.

I didn’t really want to talk about Dylan.

“Since when we keep secrets from each other and you transforming from Jillian Winters to Liz Williams doesn’t count, okay?” she asked. “Tell me, who’s Dylan?”

I sighed.

“He’s the brother of one of the students at the school I work for,” I said vaguely with details.

“So why is he calling you so many times?”

I can’t believe she’s making me tell her everything.

“Okay, he was trying to pursue me, we went out once, but it was just a friendly date,”

“What does he look like? What does he do?”

I smiled. I love how can she makes everything lighter, it eases the pain.

“He’s good looking, he comes from a wealthy family but it never interests him to take over their family business, in fact he’s pursuing his passion in photography and owns a gallery downtown.”

She looked at me like as if my issues were resolved.

“I see, then why the hell do we cry over you ex who’s marrying his evil ex-girlfriend/famous model when you have a guy who is head over heels in love with you,”

I shook my head.

“Uh-Uh, he’s not in love with me, he was just being friendly.”

“Taking you out on a dinner date, sending you sweet and caring messages, those gestures are not friendly gestures, this guy is into you, so stop mourning about Carter and give this Dylan guy a chance”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

“Why not? You said you accepted your fate that you and Carter aren’t meant to be, so what’s the problem?”

I took a deep breath.

“The problem is I am still in love with Carter,”

Nicole just looked at me, gave me a slight nod and put another mouthful of ice cream in her mouth.

 

Monday, I dragged myself to work even though I was still not feeling well. Nicole is still snoring on my couch because we’ve finished two bottles of merlot and a box of Budweiser last night. She said that the best way to get rid of my heartache is by getting myself drunk. I didn’t believe her last night and I still don’t believe her now because aside from the pain in my heart I am also feeling a major headache.

I decided to put on a maroon sleeveless above the knee dress paired with gray coat and my nude pumps. I also tied my hair in a nice ponytail, all in all I look normal. The black under my eyes was no longer visible after I cover them up with an extreme amount of concealer.

My iPhone rang again just the same time that I was putting on my jacket. It is unbelievably cold for this month of October. I checked on the screen and saw Dylan’s name. I have been ignoring him for one whole week, I think it’s time for me to talk to him. It’s not fair for him to be treated that way after I agreed that we could be friends.

“Hello,” I answered that almost came as a whisper.

“Liz, are you alright?” he asked. The concern on his tone is too obvious not to notice.

“Hi, Dylan, I am so sorry if I wasn’t able to answer your calls, I was just a bit busy,” I lied.

I can’t tell him that last week I thought my life didn’t make sense when I found out that my ex-boyfriend/fiancée is marrying the girl who once tried to destroy our relationship.

I heard him took a deep breath from the other line.

“I was so worried, we’re you sick or something?” he asked.

I put the phone in between my cheek and shoulder so I could put on my mauve lipstick.

“No, I wasn’t, I just had to deal with things, besides my friend from Florida visited me last Saturday and it’s been a while since we last saw each other so we’re kinda hanging out,” I explained.

I didn’t want him to be worried.

“I see,” he said, sighing in relief. “I’m sorry if I sounded like a paranoid boyfriend, I was just really worried, I couldn’t sleep or eat,” he said.

Guilt washes over me but I felt flattered at the same time, its been a while since someone from the opposite sex got very concern on my well-being.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry if I was MIA for the past few days, things have just been busy, please do not worry, in fact if it will make you feel better, I am on my way to work today,” I said.

“That’s nice then,” he said. “Liz,” he called.

“Yes?”

“Will you go to dinner with me tonight?” he asked.

I stared at myself at the mirror and I remember what Dr. Sullivan and Nicole told me that I should try giving Dylan a chance or another guy for that matter. I know I have said that I am not planning on dating him but what they said got me thinking. Am I really going to live my life alone? Am I really not going to date anyone? When I was young I dreamt of having a family, I also dreamt of being a wife, main reason why I said yes to Carter’s proposal before. Maybe if I didn’t leave, I wasn’t just a wife now, maybe I am a mother too.

I withdrew the thoughts of Carter from my mind. Thinking of him will not help me get through this excruciating pain that I feel in my heart. It will only make me feel worse and I will only relieve the moments we shared which will lead to all the what ifs I could think.

“Liz,” I heard Dylan called my name again. “Are you still there?”

“I’m here,” I answered. “I’ll see you tonight,”

“Okay, see you Liz, I’ll pick you up at 8?”

“Sure,”

“Bye Liz,”

“Bye,”

I push the end button and closed my eyes as I take a deep breath. Maybe Dylan is worth a shot.

 

 

Knock on the door, three times then open it.

I kept saying those words as I walked down the hallway going to the office of Headmistress Jane Montgomery. Her assistant called me and told me that Headmistress would like to have a word with me. I kinda expected this because of how I have been acting towards work last week.

As I reached her office, I knocked on the door three times before opening it. I immediately saw her standing on the glass window as if overlooking the Upper East Side.

“Good morning Headmistress,” I greeted her as cheerfully as I can.

She glanced at me and focused her eyes back on the window.

“Have a seat Ms. Williams,”

I did sit on one of the wooden chairs in front of her desk, the same chair I sat on when she called me to this same office last week.

She took a deep breath as she walks to her table and sat on her leather chair. She was wearing a plum dress long sleeves dress and a pair of black Christian Louboutin high heels. I like how stylist people are here in New York, especially Upper East Side.

“Elizabeth,” she called me.

I kind of wondered why she calls me by my first name cause she never do that. I remained silent as I waited for her to speak.

“I can’t quite figure out what it is that you are going through but lack of focus on your work which can cost someone his or her future will be extremely unacceptable,” she calmly said.

I closed my eyes, I knew she was referring to the incident last week where I told one of the senior students that beauty will not take her anywhere after she told me that she isn’t planning on going to college instead she will just pursue her modeling career. That was the day when Dr. Sullivan told me that Carter is marrying Adriana. It was indeed a bad day for me, and I knew that I shouldn’t take it out on her. I already apologized to the student but knowing how sensitive students here are I wasn’t surprise at all when I found out that the issue elevated to the Headmistress’ office.

“I know that my behavior towards Margaret Sheppard wasn’t exactly what was expected from me and I regret that. There are things that are happening in my life right now and I am sincerely asking for your understanding,” I told her. “Looking forward I am very much certain that it won’t happen again,” I promised.

She stared at me with quite blank an expression on her face.

“Ms. Williams, the objective of this school is to provide quality education to its students and they’ll be able to get that from the competent faculty staff that we chose very well in helping us achieve that goal,” she said with sophistication. “The board knew about what happened since Mr. and Mrs. Sheppard wrote them a specific letter in which you have been quoted such terms, so that being said, we will be putting you on a preventive suspension for seven days starting today, which I think will be the best time for you to deal with whatever tough going on with your personal life right now,”

I was shocked, I really am. I can’t believe that this is happening. I am on a preventive suspension? For what? Because I said I was Margaret Sheppard’s beauty will not take her anywhere? But maybe, Headmistress is right, maybe I need this time to deal with everything.

“I understand Headmistress,” I said in defeat.

I stood up.

“I am leaving the school premises as soon as I get my things from my office,” I said almost a whisper.

I took a deep breath as I turned my back at her and started walking to the door.

“Elizabeth,” she called out and I stopped. “Out of all the hundreds who applied for that position, you were chosen because we saw a huge potential in you, do not let your personal life get in the way of a great future ahead of you,” she added.

I nodded at her.

“I won’t,” I said. “Thank you Headmistress,”

She smiled and gave me a slight nod which I took as my cue to leave her office.

 

 

“You got suspended but you are going to dinner with Dylan Grayson, what else could you ask for?”

I threw at Nicole the green dress I just tried which didn’t look right for me to wear tonight. I just finished telling her my conversation earlier with the Headmistress as I rampage my closet deciding on what to wear for this evening.

“How can you make suspension sound so good to hear?” I asked.

I am not sure where Dylan is taking me tonight but I just want to look nice which I don’t really understand since the last time we’ve had dinner I didn’t even care if I was wearing one of my work clothes.

“Well, I am staying for another day here with you, so with you being suspended will mean I don’t have to wait up 9 hours before we could hang together,” she said.

She was lying on my bed taking pictures of me with every dress I tried.

“Are you sure, you’re okay being left here tonight? I mean, I could totally cancel and reschedule this dinner so we could just hang instead.”

It was last minute when I realized that I am leaving Nicole all alone at the apartment tonight when I go out to dinner. It was strange on why it did slip my mind when she was in my bed snoring as I was saying yes to Dylan earlier this morning.

“Of course it’s totally fine with me, besides I want you to have fun, and I was kind of rooting for you two,” she said.

“Nic, I am not dating him,” I said shaking my head.

“Why not? He looks hot, he’s young, rich and he’s totally into you,” she said.

“Wait, how did you know he was hot?” I asked since I kind of wondered because she hasn’t seen Dylan yet.

“I Googled him, and he’s one popular dude in the Upper East Side,” she said. “But kidding aside, I don’t see why you shouldn’t, okay, so you still have feelings for Carter, but maybe the reason why even after six years you still haven’t moved on is because you haven’t let anyone in your heart,” she said making total sense. “Jillian, and I am calling you with the name I knew you, there are people who can move on from a heartbreak as time passes but there are also people who can move on in finding a new love and I certainly believe that you are the latter,”

I sat beside her, I don’t know if I was going to agree with her or not. When I got exiled from California, I promised myself that I will have a better life, that I will not sell myself and will work hard so I won’t get hungry anymore and I will have a decent place to live. And I did that. I also knew that my departure causes pain for him and I swear that I will carry that pain with me and that I will never be happy unless I will know that he is. For the past six years, he frequently date models, celebrities and It Girls but none of them lasted so I knew he was still hurting so even though there were plenty of guys I have met and showed interest in me I never entertain a single one of them, but now that he is marrying Adriana Krueger, I am not quite sure if he is happy which leads to the question: Should I be happy knowing that he will be miserable?

“I don’t know if I deserve to be happy knowing that he isn’t,” I muttered.

Nicole rolled her eyes at me and put her hands on my shoulder shaking me slightly.

“Jillian, you left him meaning that you are no longer connected with him,” she tells me. “Besides, you shouldn’t even think of him, you don’t have the right to even be concern with his life. Carter is old enough to think or find what will make him happy, another thing is, how do you know he isn’t happy? It has been six years, maybe he fell in love with that Adriana, you are not part of his life anymore, you have your own life, being Liz Williams, and Liz Williams is going out with Dylan Grayson and she must find the perfect dress for tonight’s event,” she said with a matter of fact on her tone.

I smiled on her.

“Being happy, will not make you a bad person,” she added.

“Thank you, I am really glad that you are here,” I said holding her hands and pulling her into a tight hug.

“Well, be thankful I found you,” she said while holding me.

She released me from her hug and reached for the green dress that I tried earlier, it is a sleeveless knee-length dress with A-line cut from waist down, it has a black belt and thick straps.

“This one looks good on you,” she said as she handed me the dress.

“Thanks,” I replied as I took the dress from her and walked to the bathroom.

 

The car service was parked outside my building just as the same time I walked into the street of Madison Avenue. I was wearing the green knee-length dress Nicole said I will look good on and she was right, I paired it with my nude platform high heels and a nude trench coat. Dylan texted me earlier saying that there will be a car service waiting in front of my building, he didn’t say if he was on it or not.

The driver standing beside the car wearing a black uniform immediately opened the back seat door as soon as he sees me walking towards his direction.

“Ms. Elizabeth Williams?” he asked politely.

“Yes,” I replied.

“My name is Arturo and I will be your valet for tonight,”

“Good evening Arturo,”

“Good evening Madam, Mr. Grayson will be meeting you at the place,” he said as he reached for my hand and helped me get inside the car.

I opened my silver purse to check if there was a message from Dylan, but there was none. I was kinda disappointed for not seeing him here and I don’t even know why. Maybe because I spent two hours dressing myself up and he isn’t even here to see me.

As Arturo started the engine and pulled away my phone rang, I immediately checked it, hoping it was Dylan, but he isn’t, it was Nicole.

[U deserve 2 b happy, give dat hottie a chance, enjoy the night ;-)]

I smiled and shook my head as I typed my response.

[Thank you 4 wanting me 2 B happy, I don’t know what I feel 4 him yet, 2 days ago I was sad & hurting, I don’t think I can just jump into a relationship ryt away]

My phone beeped again.

[No one said b in a relationshipK U can just see him every now and then, kiss him back wen he kisses you and have sex wid him after the second or third date since you are a bit of a nun:-P]

I blushed after I read her text. The last guy I slept with was Carter and I can’t imagine doing it with another guy. He’s also the last guy I kissed. Am I being pathetic again?

[I will go out wid him but I don’t know if I cud kiss or have sex with him. U r aware of who’s the last guy I did it wid ryt?]

She replied after a while.

[I know, but it’s time 4u2 make use of dat thing in between your legs. It does exist you know,]

I slightly laughed. Nicole hasn’t changed a bit, she is still the same entertainer she was six years ago. Until now I still envy how brave she is. From the moment we ran away from home, when we became strippers and when we parted ways. She’s still doing the stripping but she was okay with it. She embraced her life with so much courage without any complain. I just wished I met her sooner, maybe I am not this miserable if she was with me six years ago.

[I’ll try my best 2 b happy, thank you 4 everything Nic. I love you.]

[Like what I have said 2 U, being happy will not make U a bad person, I love you too. Be safe and kiss that handsome man]

I put my phone back inside my purse while sitting there waiting for us to reach our destination. Nicole was right, being happy will not make me a bad person, my fate is not with Carter, there was a reason why we were apart, maybe he is indeed destined to be with Adriana and not me. I should believe that I am destined for something else and maybe someone else.

Moments later, the car pulled over in front of the New York Palace Hotel. I’ve seen it in movies but I have never been here. I heard that a night here cost a fortune.

The back seat door was opened by a valet attendant of the hotel and got off, he is wearing a pair of black slacks and a black shoes, well polished. A white long-sleeves shirt with black vest and a black bowtie. His nametag says Jude.

“Good evening Ms. Williams, welcome to the New York Palace Hotel, Mr. Grayson is waiting for you, this way Madam,” he said to me.

I smiled to him and followed him from behind. The lobby of the hotel is so beautiful. I was overwhelmed with the chandelier hanging from the ceiling while the floor is sparkling. The reception area is right in the middle of the lobby. There were also two stair cases located on the left and right of the reception area. Beside the left staircase were the elevator while on the right side was the lounge.

Jude walked towards the elevator and I followed. He pushes the button and we get inside. We patiently waited for the elevator to reach our chosen floor. We are the only people in the elevator.

After a couple of floors we reached our destination. I can’t help but not remember the night I spent with Carter at his penthouse in Florida. It looks the same as this. I immediately withdrew my thoughts away. I didn’t want to think about him. I should listen to Nicole, she is right. I should let myself be happy. It won’t definitely make me a bad person.

“We are here Madam,” Jude mumbled.

We are at the building rooftop. No wonder it was huge because it is a rooftop of a five-star hotel in Manhattan, New York.

I watched Jude as he took the elevator to go down the rooftop.

I turned around as I heard the song Collide by Howie Day playing on violin, then I saw Dylan walking towards my direction wearing a black suit with a bowtie. He is just so handsome that I felt my heart skip a beat.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered as he stood beside me.

My cheeks flush.

“Thank you, you look good too,” I replied. “I thought we are going to dinner?” I asked.

“We are, shall we?” he smiled as he reached out for his hand to take mine.

My hand was shaking a bit as I put mine on his. I let him walk me towards the right part of the rooftop where the music was coming from. There I saw a candle light dinner set up with white rose petals scattered on the floor. Two guys were playing the violin while a waiter was standing beside the table.

“How did you do this?” I asked as he sat me down the chair.

“Well, I did come up with but it also helped that I kind of the connection,” he answered as he sat on his chair opposite mine.

The waiter put a maroon cloth on my lap and started pouring wine on each of our glasses. He raised his glass for a toast so I raised mine too.

“For a great night ahead of us,”

I gave him a slight nod and a sweet smile.

 

“Dance with me,”

Dylan reached his hand out to me and I suddenly didn’t know what to do. We just finished our lovely dinner and he was telling me his childhood funniest stories.

“I don’t know how,” I said shyly.

In my entire existence never once that I danced. When I was still at UCLA I went to different parties with the friends I made there and I have always been on the sidelines, when I moved to NYU, all I did was study, there wasn’t a single party that I have attended. So dancing was never my forte.

He stood up and walked towards my seat.

“Come on, dance with me,” he repeats.

I shook my head in defeat and stood up. I know he isn’t giving up, one thing that I learned about Dylan for the past couple of weeks that we were hanging out that he is very persistent.

“I have two left feet, don’t hate me if I step on you,” I warned him.

“I will never hate you,” he whispered.

He walked me towards near the band who are now playing This I promise you by *NSYNC. He put my hands on his shoulders while he put his on my waist pulling me a little closer to him, I can smell his fresh minty breath.

“You are just so beautiful,” he whispered.

I knew he was looking at me with so much admiration and it heated my cheeks so I look down but he put his hand on my chin, making me look at him.

I bit my lips.

“Did you know that you changed me?” he asked.

I cocked my brow.

“What do you mean?”

He tucked my hair in my ear.

“I’ll admit, I was such a player from college until recently, I dated so many girls, often than not two women in one time,” he said looking straight to my eyes. “I’ve broken so many hearts but from the very beginning that I saw hailing a cab that day, I knew I had to know you, I was going to call my father’s private investigator but I saw you at school so I took my chances even if I knew you hated me,” he said.

“I never hated you, I was pissed, but I could never hate anyone,” I replied.

“I knew you were hurt in the past, I can see that, but I want to be the one to heal you if you could just let me, I wanted to take all the pain away and replace it with happiness, please Liz, let me in, let me be the one to make you believe in love and romance and companionship. Please let me want you,”

His eyes were full of sincerity and honesty. I felt every word that came out of his mouth. I knew he was damn serious. My heat skips a beat and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach dancing around. It’s been a while since I felt that way and I actually forgot how good the feeling was. Maybe, Nicole is right, maybe the only way for me to finally move on from my past is to let someone in, to let someone care for me, love me and makes me happy.

“Okay,” I nodded.

“Okay? You are my girlfriend okay? Or keep on dreaming okay?” he asked, a bit confused.

“I want to be your girlfriend, okay?” I whispered.

“Oh Liz, you didn’t know how much you made me happy,”

He put his hands on my face and put his lips to mine. It’s been six year since I kissed someone without being forced to. Dylan is a good kisser, he was gentle and he taste so damn good.

“You’ll never regret giving me this chance Liz,”

“Okay,”

Then he kissed me again.

For the first time since I became Liz Williams, this is the moment where I am finally embracing my life. I may have lived carrying that name for quite a while but I have always been going back to my past. Hoping that maybe one day I could cross paths with Carter again but it never happened so I guess this is the moment where I should ending that chapter of my life. Dr. Sullivan was right, I have so much to offer the world and I shouldn’t be stuck in the past. I have a great life ahead of me and a gorgeous man who wants me so I am saying goodbye to Carter Greene. I am saying goodbye to Jillian Winters.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.05.2016

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