My name is Kara Anthony

"Hey, Kara? Did you take care of the dogs?"

"No, I didn't. Did you want me to?"

"Of course I want you to."

"Fine! I'll take care of the dogs!"

Don't get me wrong, I love the boys to death, but I had just taken a shower, After I had just mowed the lawn. And they always jump on me. We say that they're giving us hugs, but really, they're ruining our clothes. I much prefer watering the flowers over letting the dogs out. They're huge. They're year old rottweilers. Their names are Axel and Paine. And they are really juvenile.

The second I walk outside and they see me, they go crazy. They start barking and start banging on the cage door. I go to put the lead on Axel's neck and he snaps the cage door open and starts running down the street. Oh My God.

I end up having to chase him down the street and putting the lead around his neck in some neighbor's yard. My parents were not happy with me. They're never happy with me. They make my anxiety go through the roof.

Hello. My name is Kara Anthony. I'm 16, and don't trust anyone I don't know.

California

 I hate strangers. I hate social media platforms. I hate anything that gives out my information or my face to people I don't know. I never know who's out there. I don't go on blind dates. I just think that people should be just a little bit more to themselves. It is literally insane how much of people's information is on the internet. A quick google search can bring up pictures of pretty much anyone in the world. And girls use those platforms to be sluts and pick up guys. Why would you want a boyfriend that wants you for your looks, not for you?

And yes, I know that you can't see someone's personality, but if someone has a horrible personality, why would you stay with them?

People are crazy, so I stay away from them. I hyperventilate when people come too close. Yeah, my anxiety is that bad. I mean, I really don't have a problem with people younger than me. I almost feel responsible for them, but my age and above gives me anxiety. You never know why they want to talk to you, or what they see when they look at you. 

 I'm a loose canon and am all over the place. I like art, calligraphy, and playing football. I'm independent and rely on myself to take care of myself. I have long chesnut hair and gray eyes and I love big dogs.

 My thoughts are cut short by my parents calling me, once again cutting my task short. I honestly thought about just pulling the covers up and pretending I'm taking a nap untill they go away, but I thought better of it. I knew that they wouldn't recieve it well if they found out I was faking it, so I went to the kitchen. They were on the phone with my uncle John. That was weird. John lived in California and we were in Louisiana.

We never went to him. He came to us. And there wasn't another family reunion in months. You can imagine my shock when I was told that I was going to his house for the rest of the summer. Summer had just started and I had zero plans. This would be life-changing. I had no idea how much untill three years later when I looked back.

The Midnight Moon-walk

 After I had boarded that plane, there was no turning back, and that was exactly what I did. John didn't have any expectations for me to follow, so I could spend my time watching classic horror movies and going on nature walks. There was a certain nature walk that lead me to where I am now. It started as normal. I left around eleven at night so I wouldn't meet anyone. The moon high and the underbrush on the edges of the walk-way was low. The flowers were beautiful. My favorite was the Wild Morning Glory. They absolutely glowed in the moonlight.

As I walk, looking at the flowers, I didn't notice the person in front of me. I collide with them and just about get ready to run. I stare at him in fear of him being mad at the clumsy idiot that just ran into him, but all he does is look at me kindly.

He looks at the flowers and says "The Fairy Lanterns are beautiful, aren't they?"

I had no idea how to respond to that question in the context it was in. I didn't aswer for a while.

He finally says, "I didn't meant to scare you. I'm really sorry. Will you tell me your name?" 

I was already scared because I got too close and bumped into him, but the complete honesty and concern in his voice broke something inside of me. A stranger that I didn't even know, showed more compassion towards me than my own family did.

"My name's Kara Anthony. What's your's?"

"Austin Williams."

Blind Trust

 We sat there untill three in the morning, just talking. We had an honest and truly heart-lifting conversation. It was the best conversation I had ever had. Ever since that night I have been more open to conversation and connections with other people. I hadn't noticed at first, but he looked like an angel. He had short black hair and blue eyes. He had strong, yet gentle hands that picked flowers for me and put them in my hair and strong facial features that were always lifted in a smile. Why he showed even the slightest bit of interest for me, I didn't know. 

We talked about our past, our present, and the future. There was nothing he didn't want to know about me, and there was nothing I didn't want to know about him. I don't know what kind of blind trust had come over me. All I know is that he made me act very out of character. I trusted him and did not care where it led me. For the longest time I had been skeptical of everything that had come across my path, but he gave me no reason to be skeptical. He just gave off this aura of raw and unconditional honesty. We made jokes and we had serious conversations. We acted as if we were childhood friends. We had no idea what would become of this night, but I will never forget what did.

The Golden State

 We became really close. We took walks and we were happy to be teenagers, which was a rare thing for me to experience. I didn't go to senior parties. I had no reason to. They were just where people went to hook up or to reignite an old flame. I had no old flames and I didn't want to start a new one. 

Austin had a lonely past too. He was a fraid of a serious relationships being ruined by heartbreak. He wanted to know everything about me, though.

"What's your favorite color?"

"It changes. It just depends on my mood, I guess."

"Well what color does your mood match today?"

"I guess it would have to be cobalt."

He looked at me kinda funny. I didn't know cobalt was such an unusual favorite color.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's just that your favorite color is also your eye color."

Oh, that. he's talking about my greenish gray eyes that don't want to stay that color. My eyes are always changing colors in different lighting. Sometimes they looked silver. Sometimes they were bright green. And every once in a while they turned blue. I liked it because people would always think I was wearing contacts, or they would freak out at my color changing eyes. It also hid the fact that I had a pretty basic and bland eye color. 

"That's actually not the color my eyes are supposed to be. They should be greenish-gray, but they're not. They just change by themselves."

"That's amazing. You just get better by the minute."

And the most unexpected thing happened. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. He kissed me like he loved me, but he couldn't have loved me. We had just met and I was such an unlikable person. 

And there were so many other more attractive girls here.

He was insane, but luckily, so was I.

The Worst Mistake

The immediate afterthought of our kiss: I just made the worst mistake of my life!

I mean, I had to go back home at the end of the summer. I had also just kissed a pretty much complete stranger. The past 5 days had been more evenful than my whole life. That was just GREAT! 

I didn't know what had gotten into me. I would have blamed it on the over-all confidence that California had, but I really couldn't. And that made me feel worse. I had become just the kind of person I avoided. 

I didn't know what to do, and that made me forget that he was there.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I had to make the situation worse by making him upset.

"That was a mistake." I hadn't realized he was smiling the biggest smile I had ever seen on anyone. Not until he wasn't.

"What do you mean?" 

I take it back. Saying that was the worst mistake of my life. 

"I'm sorry, but I don't live here. I have to go home and deal with my strict parents and their constant supervision. It's not fair to you, or me, for that matter."

"We'll see about that." 

"What could you possibly mean by that?"

"I'm gonna convince you that we will work. Even if it takes all summer."

 

 

Glass Boxes

 It took Austin two weeks to convice me. The first few days, I think he decided to lay low because he knew that I wouldn't give in that easy. Stubbornness was a huge part of me. If I wasn't, I wouldn't play football on the guy's team and I wouldn't surpass half the team, either. I'm waiting for the right guy. It's impossible to tell what it would be like to be with a guy later on. They could always be acting, but if Austin was acting, he should be famous by now.

After three days of laying low, he knocks on John's door. I didn't think anything of it, so John answers. 

"Kara! You have some explaining to do!"

Shit! Why didn't I think? I knew that he was planning on doing something, I just didn't know what. I had been worrying about the no dating rule that has been set in place since middle school. I was thinking about how sheltered kids who don't want to be sheltered, end up rebelling.

That was me all freshman and sophomore year. I wanted to dye my hair blue. I wanted tongue and nose rings. I wanted tattoos. I thought that they were cool. My mom had a million tattoos, cartilage piercings, and nose rings. She set the example, and then she contradicted it. I got them all, though. I got a semi-colon tattoo on my wrist to remember my father. I got a barbell nose piercing. I got a single metal ball piercing in the center of my tongue. I dyed my hair ocean blue. I didn't chop most of it off, though, which was my original idea.

It all stopped, though. I saw that it didn't solve anything. I got it all because I felt like I was put in a glass box and told to behave, to be obediant. I didn't do obediant, but I didn't seem happy from it all.

I took my nose piercing out, but kept it, just in case my mom changed her mind about it. I kept the tongue piercing, though. It was hard to see, and I loved it. I fixed my hair and started hiding my tattoo. All was well. I sank into the shadows, and stopped seeking attention. It fit me better than being the center of everything.

Then John speaks again and shakes me out of my thoughts. Thoughts of rebellion.

"Why is he showing up at my door saying that you two have a date, when you're mom specifically told you no dating? Who even is he?"

I tell him that I will explain it all the second I get back. He shoots me a warning look, and goes back into the living room. I'll have to keep that promise.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I was not happy. And he could see it. I see him dip his head in guilt. Now I felt guilty. 

"What did you have in mind for our date?" 

My poor attempt at cheering him up worked. He smiled ear to ear. 

"Come on. You're gonna love it."

Dancing With Death

"Are you freaking kidding me?" 

"I knew you'd love it."

"This is the best thing you could have even done for me! I can't believe you actually did this!"

What he had done was schedule us for skydiving! It was a chidhood dream for me, and he knew that, because I'd told him. The weird thing was that I had absolutely zero second thoughts about jumping out of a plane from so high up. I was too exited. 

We were given the basic directions and sent on our way. There was a big waver to sign, but what can you expect. They push people out of planes for a living.

The rush of the wind mixed with the pumping of adrenaline in my veins was insane. I could have been falling to my death, but I wouldn't have cared. It was amazing. I saw Luke enjoying himself too as we fall, and it was ten times better. We were dancing with death, and we were totally loving it.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 05.10.2020

Alle Rechte vorbehalten