Chapter 1

The screeching, annoying noise of my wife woke me up just as my alarm did at the same time. I groaned and pushed myself effortlessly off my bed. I went to see what my wife wanted. I walked in towards our master bathroom; I dodged just in time when Marriah threw a curling iron right at me. I picked it up and set it on top of one of the white cupboards we have in the bathroom.

 

"We need a new one; none of these are any good. I need another, I want another, NOW!" Marriah yelled/screeched in my ears as she continued to rummage through the cupboards where she keeps her things and throws them not caring where I stood.

 

I dodged every single one and went back to the bedroom to get my wallet. I came back and tapped my finger lightly on my wife's shoulder. She turned around to scowl at me. I mentally rolled my eyes and handed her a blue VISA card, she snatched it impatiently from my hand and went straight to her car, driving to the mall.

 

Finally, the bathroom was all mine for once in any early morning.

 

***

 

After I had finished taking a shower, I lightly shaved myself but gave myself a bit of a facial fair left in me. I washed my face and brushed my teeth not bothering with my hair. It just naturally becomes this way no matter how many times you brush.

 

I walked into my walk-in-closet to grab myself a suit for work. A white collard shirt with a black tie, light grey stripes on it, black pants with pockets to keep my keys and expensive Ipod in, with a back suit jacket to match my pants.

 

I checked myself in the full view mirror and nodded in satisfaction before I head to my car, a silver and black Ferrari. I much rather prefer a black and green Suzuki motorcycle but my wife hated motorcycles so I didn't get one.

 

I owned and worked at a two companies. A jewelry company and a restaurant. My father’s boss’s adopted son, Zach/Zachary owned a restaurant that I worked at half the time, and we worked alongside us employees. He's great with people, especially kids and infants. Every man, women, children, and infant seem to love him more than any.

 

After I checked up on my clients at the jewelry store, I gave them their checks and each a ring or necklace to keep for themselves or to give before I head on to work at the restaurant where the place was packed. Thanks to Zach. A smile appeared on my face as I took my position as the owner; I have yet to make him my manager.

 

***

 

Zach looked up from a couple near me, a smile planted on his bright young face as he turned to look at me, his smile turned into a symphony smile. He cared for me and I him. The relation we have is a funny one. I am older than him and he's my uncle.

 

I watch him walk towards me as he gave one of the other waiters the couple's orders as he continued on his way to me. He walked like a male model about to show off the outfit he was presenting.

 

"Daniel, what has been going? Divorce the bitch yet?" Zach asked, taking me aback. Never have I ever heard Zach talk about my wife like that. He seemed to like her like my parents do, guess I was wrong, dead wrong.

 

I cleared my throat and replied, "no, you know me. Divorce is something I do not believe". My boss gave me a skeptical look in his eyes, his eyebrow raised in confusion.

"You believe in not getting a divorce yet you don't believe in God?" He asked/joked, his arms crossing his broad chest. I mentally face-palmed myself and smacked the back of his head, both of us chuckling.

 

I am agnostic to tell the truth. I was once a God-fearing, stereotype homophobic preaching the wrath/word of God but when Athan came into my life, all things changed. I hated him for being gay and turning me, but it was him that I realized, one cannot turn the other gay and it was no choice. We were all born gay one way or another.

 

"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen," The preacher said after he ended the prayer. We all repeated the "amen" our heads still bowed. We lifted our heads after the prayer. "And now we get into the word of God. It is said in the Bible that those who have slept with a man shall be put to death immediately. Actions like these show the inhuman natural of the world of God. Homosexual is an abomination but, if they put their faith and trust in the Lord, they will be saved, healed, from their Satanic temptations and filth. Let us pray for the weaken non-heterosexuals."

 

We all bowed our heads once again to pray but the preacher was interrupted when the doors flew open. A mother was crying and shouting "filth, abomination, devil, etc..." while the father was dragging a young twenty-one looking year old. I was now officially, nineteen.

 

The preacher stopped to look at the small family. The mother knelt down in front of the cross with Jesus hung up on there and prayed, her eyes filled with tears.

 

"Forgive me, forgive me my Lord, my God. I gave birth to the devil!" The mother cried out, taking everyone aback. I saw the preacher take a few steps down and knelt in front of the woman/mother, his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

 

"My dear, sister of the Church and daughter of God. Pray tell is the matter. Why shout out that your boy, your flesh and blood is the devil"? But before she could reply, the husband of the woman spoke for her.

 

"Our son is the devil 'cause he's gay!"

 

***

 

A furious father, an angered preacher, and a crying mother. The two men dragged the young twenty-one year old to the smaller chapel in the gardens we have at the Church. My family followed.

 

My brother leaned in forward and told me to follow him. I followed. We were closer and closer to the chapel where a window was there. High enough for both of us to see through and no one in there could see us in return unless they look over here but that was unlikely.

 

"Why don't we just beat the devil out of him?!" The father asked/scowled as he began to raise a cane but the preacher stopped him just in time.

 

"We do not believe in violence, we cannot just beat the devil out of Athan just by that. He needs the word of God, kindness, gentleness, and teaching. Love, the true love and wrath of God are the only things that will save your boy." The preacher explained as I saw a relieved look on Athan's face when the cane didn't came in contact.

 

The mother stepped forward, "oh please, do what you can, what you must, to help my boy". The preacher smiled and explained about the summer camp I go to along with my brother. My brother, Justin, was a counselor there and I was a regular.

 

We have quite a few people who are drug-addicts, alcoholics, suicidal, devil-worshippers, Pagans, and even homosexual. All were turned; at least that was what I hear from my brother whenever the summer was over. The small family and preacher began to leave chapel and ewe did too.

 

From the corner of my eyes I saw Athan; his eyes were looking right at me. I turned to smile at him but what formed on his face was a scowl.

Chapter 2

 

*Summer Camp*

 

The day was finally here. Summer Camp! Our camp name was Rescue Me. It was the camp where one can be saved either for the first time ever or once again. All were welcome.

 

I rode with my brother. When he found a parking spot, we unloaded our bags from the trunk. I turned to see the view, people were here early. One caught my eye, Athan. He did not look too thrill to here. But don't worry; this camp will change him, save him. He will soon be the golden boy his parents wanted.

 

Athan saw me and scowled yet again before he jerked his mother's effort to place a kind comfort hand on his shoulder. Cold.

 

***

 

We already had breakfast at home so dinner was on the way. We fast during lunch break. Inside of the cafeteria there was a riot. Athan was on top of one of the tables, center one to be exact groping, grinding against another male who had a can of beer in his hand.

 

The counselors and other people in with the church and changed all tried to stop the riot but the newcomers and other people all encouraged Athan and the other guy to continue. The guy jumped down and continued to drink while Ethan continued to dance as if he were at a male strip bar. All of a sudden, he dropped down and started to break-dance.

 

We did not mind dancing and break-dancing was what we loved, well some. I loved break-dancing even though I can't do it, my brother loved it as well as both of our friends. We all watched Athan bust moves. Every move he made us feel like either he was going to fall or break his bones.

 

When he was done, he gave us all an enthusiastic bow before he did a back-flip off of the table. He smiled widely at us all and gave each and everyone playful blow kisses.

 

"Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all summer, no fucking joke!" Athan said. I noticed the vile word but it seemed not to matter. He was most definitely the first camper we ever had who can break-dance.

 

***

 

It took a few long hard weeks but me and Athan soon became friends. He seemed to be changing, I could see it in his eyes.

 

We were down by the lake, the full moon shining high. He laid back into the grass to look up at the starry sky, I did the same. Out of the blue, he spoke.

 

"You cannot change, it's not a choice either," He said, I looked at him in question. He scoffed with a smile and replied. "Being gay. It's not a choice; you cannot suddenly change either, no matter how many times or how many girls you date. Once you're gay you're gay. We were all born gay one way or another."

 

"But...but in the Bible, it said that when a man lies in with another man, they shall both be put to death." I stated before I knew it, he was on top of me.

 

"Then explain why am I not dead? Where is a Christian's love, God's love through the pain and suffering I've been through just for being who I am, what I am. All my friends left me, my mother cries every time we meet eye to eye, my father abuses me hoping he could whack the devil out of me. I stand strong because I know, somewhere in my life, things get better. Even if it's not what you hope or dream of, when life get's better at it's own pace, it's ten times for than what you imagine. Do NOT speak to me about the word of God, ever. You don't know me, no one does."

 

***

 

I couldn't help but pray for Athan. He had been hurt and is still hurting. I told my brother about all of this. He bit his bottom lips. Something he does when he's proclaimed guilty.

 

"Big brother? What is it? What have you done?" I asked, now worried about him. He sighed and lead me into his room, no one was in there, he closed the door, not bothering to lock it He sat on his bed, his head in his hands for a while before he looked up at me.

 

"I....I kissed the boy, that boy who was dancing with Athan. Oh little brother, I am turning impure". I was taken aback. What should I say? What should I do? My body seemed to have a mind of it's own and I went to give my brother a hug, suddenly, I felt Justin pull me backwards so my back was collided on the bed, he began to kiss me then my neck.

 

I froze. It felt so good yet so wrong. He was my brother! Incest and homosexual acts were both impure in God's eyes. If anyone, anyone saw this, we would both be shamed. I tried my best to pry off of him but his grip becomes stronger and stronger as he began to rub down where my crotch was.

 

A sharp gasp escaped from my lips when he rubbed me down at the crotch. I stopped trying to get him to stop when I heard my zipper unzip and his mouth in my cock, sucking me as if I were a Popsicle. I was about to come but he undid his pants and positioned himself; I knew what he was going to do next.

 

Oh god please no. Please, someone....help...

 

***

 

The door was literally kicked open and an angered Athan appeared. He pushed my brother off of me and began to punch him, sock him out of consciousness. I was still for a moment but I knew I had to get in front of Athan, to stop him.

 

"Athan! Athan what are you doing!?" I shouted, attempting to stop him but he protested and kept on socking my brother even though he was out like a light. I managed to get Athan off of Justin to look at me. His eyes were filled with tears as if he had a flashback while he socked my brother.

 

"I...I'm sorry. But...the...the same thing ha-happened to me," He said in a hoarse voice. I asked him why while leading us both to the bed. "The..the man...he's my step-father my...my real father, le...left us. But no, know in your mind, he was not the cause of my being gay. But...he is the cause, of another. He...r...raped me."

 

***

 

"Daniel? Daniel? DANIEL!" Zach shouted in my ear, snapping his fingers trying to snap me out of my trance. I blinked my eyes rapidly and looked at him. He had a tray filled with food in each hand. "I'll need help."

I blinked once more and nodded. I took of one the trays off of his hand and followed. I couldn't help but avert my eyes down to his round buttocks. He had a fine butt indeed. Incest...was I attempting a crime? No, I'm not a criminal. Am I?

Chapter 3

I left the restaurant for a few short minutes to go have lunch at Taco Bell. It was 2:00, not really the best time for me. Much too crowded inside and in the drive through. When I finally found a suitable parking spot, I died the engine down and went inside.

 

I waited in line in which in my opinion, took forever. I decided to keep myself occupied by looking around and deciding what I wanted as I waited in line. When it was finally my turn after the sixth one, I ordered my meal, paid, and then went over to an empty seat.

 

Bored and thirsty, I got back up to retrieve a cup and poured some diet coke on the rocks before I went to sit back down and stared at the turned-off TV in front of me taking a sip of my diet coke every now and then. I sighed as memories of Athan's suicide ran through my mind, tears actually started to form. Quickly, I wiped them with the back of my hand and took a sip of my diet coke.

 

"Order number 237. Order number 237." The worker announced as I got up to retrieve my order. I sat back down after paying the man and giving a twenty dollar tip. I ate my food slowly, savoring the taste.

 

***

 

It has been months since summer camp was over and Athan has not changed one bit, but I think I have. I started to like spending time with Athan even if we did sit separate in church. We would glance at each other while the adults weren't looking and make faces. My brother would catch us once in every while and glare.

 

After church, Athan ran up to me with a smile. "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch, just as friends". He was careful not to as "as a date" around my parents who were icky about him.

 

"Of course." I casually said as I follow him to his truck. The drive was pretty long and I thought lunch meant burgers, tacos, or subway. Not...a...a.... fancy restaurant?!

 

Athan stopped the truck once he parked it and smiled, "hope it's not too much for a gorgeous young man like you". Gorgeous? He called me gorgeous? I couldn't help but feel a blush on my cheeks as I followed him inside the restaurant.

 

I followed Athan closely behind. I could not help but sin and my eyes gazed down on that perfect toned muscular arse. His legs looked firm and strong. I blinked and shook my head mentally to get rid of these "thoughts".

 

***

 

We sat near the window, a great view to see the ocean. I was glad our table was set inside and not out. I hear it was going to get freezing cold. The Lord must have loved me for this night. No sooner than later did I felt Athan's hand gently on mine.

 

I felt both electricity and a warm sensation. Two things I was not suppose to feel. Going out with Athan was supposed to prove my own loyalty and the Lord's that I was straight. What is this? My hormones? Yes, my hormones. Man's body was made for evil and impure things. Yes, blame my body and hormones.

 

"You are blaming your hormones aren't you?" Athan asked, not turning to look at me. My eyes widen as I turn to look at him, a blank impression settled on his face, his lips moved a little and all I wanted to do was to just grab his face and kiss him here and now. Ugh! Stupid hormones! "That's what they all think when they don't want to admit they are either curious, bi, or gay themselves. They'll make up any excuse to believe they are good, straight, and normal. No one is all good, straight things can be bent or broken, and what is normal anyways? Is normal being assaulted? Being bullied? Being accepted by few? Having to live and tell a lie?"

 

His words hit me to the core. He was right. What is the definition of those three things now? Do they really mean anything to anyone? Stilling having my hand in Athan's I looked at him as he continued to watch the waves crash against the rocks or come in a quarter of the way on the beach.

 

***

 

"Sir? Sir?" A man asked. I blinked from my flashback trance and looked up at him. I noticed his uniform that he was a security guard. Am I in trouble? "The mall is about to close in a few minutes, best if you go home now while the doors are still unlocked."

 

I nodded and thanked the security guard as he tipped his hat and walked away as I got up and put my trash away then headed down the stairs and out the door towards home slowly, it was not as if I had something good to look forward to if I did then I am cursed.

 

When I arrived home, I opened the door to be greeted by a loud screech. My 'lovely' wife was home and on one of her tempers tantrums. I swear she is so immature and childish when she doesn't get EVERYTHING she wants. I sighed and closed my door then stalked to where that horrid voice was when I went into the living room, my eyes widen slightly.

 

Mom? Dad?

 

***

 

It was a month later after Athan had killed himself and was buried. None of my family came but Zach and two of his brothers who were either married or engaged. Athan's family and friends came too, none took blame or pointed fingers. It was his choice to go. We were all depressed he decided to leave all of us.

 

As I drove back home, I noticed a white care parked in my parking space, I sighed and parked behind the car. It looked vaguely familiar but I could not point my finger to it. When I got out of my car and into my house, my parents had huge grins on their faces. I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

 

"Mom? Dad? Why are you both grinning like the Cheshire Cat?" I asked receiving a giggle from my mother. My father's grin turned into a smile as they both stepped to the side to reveal the one woman I wish never to see in my entire life dead or alive.

 

Marriah

 

***

 

"Marriah was just telling us you abused her to get what you want then you go off with friends to drink loads and loads of beers and shots." My father said sternly. My mother had a scowl on her face as Marriah pretended to shed tears but I knew and she knew she was faking. I glared at her but was careful not to let my parents see my impression.

 

I stood tall and faced the man called my father. "Believe what you want to believe. I never loved her so if what she said is true then let it be, I would love to do all she had said to you, sounds more fun than shopping for a whorish bitch."

 

My mother gasp as Marriah fake cried louder. My father took a step forward and punched me across the face, I fell on the floor from the full force of the impact and rubbed my jack, this was going to leave an mark. I quickly stood up and punched back. I took martial arts with Athan in secret so no one knows I am a black belt until I threw a punch.

 

My father and I fought and fought until we were both on the floor practically wrestling to choke each other; finally I kneed him in the crotch and stood up before stalking off to Zach's house.

 

***

 

Knocking on his door, I waited as rain began to fall. I cursed under my breath as I forgot to get myself an umbrella. How very, very stupid of me to forget to check my app on my phone for the weather tonight and now I'll have to pay the price. Please hurry and open the door.

 

"Daniel? What are you doing here? Get in, get in," Zach said, stepping to the side to let me in, opening his door wider for me to slip through. I was glad he answered the door just in time before it started to pour; the minute he closed it lightening hit the ground. "The bitch?"

 

I turned my attention to my boss eyes widen at his perfect guess; I nodded and took off my coat for him to hang up. Zach always loved helping people but he was never the one to cross. The last time someone tried to cross Zach it took all seven of his half-brothers to restrain him.

 

"Yes and my parents decided to pay me a visit." I mumbled under my breathe. He seemed to hear and went into the kitchen probably to make hot cocoa with marshmallows and cinnamon and vanilla extract. Instead of sugar, he uses honey which is a lot sweeter than sugar.

 

As Zach stirred a pot of hot cocoa adding in the extra ingredients, I leaned against the door frame of the kitchen and watched him. He always had the ability to make every and any beverage you ask even the ones that sound like they could be nearly impossible to master that's why Zach owns his very own Coffee Shop called "La Cafe de Delight"

 

"Done." Zach called out as he turned off the stove's fire and poured each of us a glass of the hot cocoa then finishes off with tiny marshmallows and cinnamon on top before carefully handing me my glass. I take the glass in my hands liking how the burning sensation burns at the palm of my shivering, cold, wet hands as I blew on it and take a few sips as did he.

 

His hot cocoas are the best.

 

***

 

"Alright since my brother has decided to sleep over at a friend's house you can sleep here, my other brother will be coming home and you know how Reagan feels about having to share or 'give up' his bedroom for a guest or two. " Zach explained showing me the way to Asher's bedroom.

 

Their names were so ironic. Asher sounds like a tough guy's name but he is so soft and very good with kids and animals while Reagan's sounds like a innocent's person's names but he is a tough martial artist with a scowling temper.

 

Opening the door to Asher's bedroom I looked around, blue and white, his two favorite colors. It had a few animal posters and photographs, typical animal loving Asher. I gazed all around until my focus was on the bed, ti was also blue but it had the design of a killer whale/orca. I remembered as a child, he would make us all watch Free Willy, Jaws, Brothers, and Brother Bear, anything that has to do with animals.

 

"I hope it'll be comfy." Zach said, acting as if he worked at a hotel. I rolled my eyes in amusement and nodded still looking around.

 

"Yes, thank you boss." I chuckled, knowing it would set Zach off since he hated being called a "boss" even if he did owe his father's restaurant after he retired. From the corner of my eye, I saw him pout a bit and crossed his arms. I couldn't help but grin widely.

 

***

 

I woke up early the next morning to see a slim small body of Asher. He had muscles but not as much as Asher, his twin brother, yes did I forget to tell you they are twins? Well now you know. I stretched my arms and legs getting up as Asher moved out of the way so I can slide out of bed.

 

"Hello Dan." He greeted, holding a scrapbook which I guess had animals. Asher seemed to read my mind and opened the book, it had pictures of children. The background looked professional what was he doing with a scrapbook full of children? Has become a pedophile?! Asher rolled his eyes and closed the book. "Relax Dan, I'm not a pedophile."

 

That makes me feel a whole lot better.

 

Following him downstairs, we both smelled the sweet aroma of waffles, strawberry, chocolate chip, blueberry, plain, caramel, blackberry, raspberry, all types of waffles you can think off. Rushing into the kitchen we both stopped to see Reagan setting out some plates, silverwares, and glasses before getting the whip cream.

 

He scowled at me as he set the glasses above each corner of each plate. What was his problem? I mean I know we've both had differences but he and I are grown men, what's with the scowl? Why was he mad at me? What did I do?

 

"Waffles are ready gentlemen." Zach said stacking the waffles on four plates.

 

***

 

I have never felt this full in my ENTIRE life! The waffles were so delicious I just had to have some more and some more and some more until I could not eat anymore. I've always had trouble with the deadly sin gluttony as every food I see and try look so damn delicious, it be a sin not to try.

 

"Wonderful as always." Asher complimented. Reagan nodded his head, drinking a cup of coffee with whip cream and cinnamon.

 

The rest of us nodded in agreement as Zach's smile turned wider and wider. He loved being complimented on his cooking skills. It boosted his self-esteem which was a good thing but, I could not help but notice the blush forming on his cheeks as he looked directly at me.

Chapter 4

We stared at each other for what seemed like hours before turning our gazes away from each other. Now, things were just getting too awkward, rubbing the back of my neck, I made my way towards the TV and turned on the news channel. A heavy chance of rain was coming our way so as always the electricity will go out and soon enough, they were right, the TV shut off as well as the lights.

 

I rolled my eyes a bit then turned my head from left to right, luckily Zach was prepared and had flashlights and candles and well, ha-ha, a couple of light-sabers. I could not believe once, that he kept them, and they were in very good condition. Every one of us used to make fun of him until, like this time of day, the power went off and low behold, he had one of his lightsabers.

 

I looked outside to see the wind blowing hard, the sky a dark green, and rain pouring; if the weather was just rain, it would have been exactly the weather moment when I found my beloved husband dead, wrists slit, skin paled, and hang by a noose. Tears started to form from my eyes and down my cheeks but I didn't notice until a small smooth, yet rough finger wiped them off. I turn around to see my uncle, Zach, clearly worried about me.

 

"I'm here." Zach whispered as I dropped my head on his shoulder and cried.

 

***

 

I woke up not even realizing I had fallen asleep on the lap of Zach. I carefully and quietly sat up and looked at my boss. His mouth was slightly open, his head thrown back; he looked both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. I smiled and laid him down so his head contacted with a pillow and drew his feet up so he's now lying down. I covered him with a blanket before grabbing my jacket in which I had the idea that he took it off before he fell asleep.

 

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed myself a pop-tart and headed out the door to buy coffee from Star Bucks. I felt a little bad leaving Zach but I also didn't want him to think that I was watching him sleep, which is not a bad idea actually... no, snap out of it. He's my boss, I'm his employee plus married! Not happily but married non-the-less.

 

Suddenly, Zach's home phone rang snapping me out of my trance. I sat straight up and leaned over to see Zach picking up the phone. After he said his "hello" a woman's screech filled his ears that he practically had to move himself away from the phone. I could hear it too, it sounds like my mother.

 

"Tell Daniel we are expecting him home NOW! We have matters to discuss about him and his wife!" She yelled out. I sighed and rolled my eyes as Zach told my mom he will bring me over soon before hanging up. He turned around with regret in his eyes I smiled in reassurance.

 

***

 

"Well, ready to face that bitch again?" Zach joked trying to make me feel at ease. We were both in his car, with him driving me back home. I scoffed out a laughter and looked outside the window. I could have walked but my boss insisted he drive me home, I caved in.

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 18.02.2015

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