Disclaimer

All the material contained in this book is provided for educational and informational purposes only. No responsibility can be taken for any results or outcomes resulting from the use of this material.

 

While every attempt has been made to provide information that is both accurate and effective, the author does not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or use/misuse of this information.

 

Copyright © 2015 by Noah Daniels

 

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

OUR CHEATING HEARTS

We prefer honesty in our relationships, but reality doesn't always measure up to our expectations. Cheating is an everyday occurrence.

 

Some cheating isn't even considered cheating. Football games are won by trick plays and earn quarterbacks the title of hero, along with multimillion-dollar salaries. Other cheating is entertaining, like the magician's repertoire of card tricks, sleight of hand, and beautiful women who disappear or survive being sawed in half. Military strategy often involves camouflage, which throughout history has won wars, going back to the Trojan horse in ancient Greece.

 

Most cheating however is undesirable, whether it's a gambler trying to beat the casino, the student who cheats on exams, the citizen who fudges numbers on a tax return, or the CEO who pays himself a multimillion-dollar bonus while shareholder profits plummet. But perhaps the most disappointing, and personally painful, cheating is that which occurs among lovers and spouses. An unwritten expectation of fidelity is the core of our sexual relationships.

 

We expect our partners not to cheat. Sometimes lovers release each other from that expectation, as in the 1960s and '70s when ''open'' relationships and ''free love'' were part of a sexual revolution that valued experimentation. The vogue continues to a much lesser degree in the twenty-first century. For the most part, when two people are in a committed relationship, monogamy is not only implied, it's assumed. One mate at a time is the expectation when you've given your heart and soul to another.

 

Fidelity, unless mutually exempted, rules adult sexual relationships and helps bind two persons together. Infidelity, or cheating, is a serious threat to that bond and when suspected needs to be addressed seriously. Cheating rarely can be ignored. The injured party might try to ignore their suspicion, shove it to the back of their mind through some complicated form of self-preservation coupled with denial. But such a defense mechanism rarely works either short or long-term.

 

The gnawing reality lurks in the background, only to resurface. Cheating when faithfulness is expected by the partner signals something beyond sexual indiscretion is wrong in the relationship. There's a break in the emotional fabric of the relationship, too. Whatever is wrong will not heal itself.

 

A cheater lives a life of deception based on tricks that go unnoticed. A cheater's success depends on how well they sustain a hidden life. A victim of cheating only survives to the degree they can discover what is being hidden. Whether surviving ultimately means ending the relationship or healing it, knowing how to catch your cheating lover is the first step. The practical information presented here will help you along your journey.

CHEATING IN CYBERVILLE

Technology has changed relationship cheating forever. Mobile phones, PDAs, beepers and computers make it easier than ever before to cheat on a lover or spouse. Email, instant messaging, chat rooms, dating websites, social networking and text messaging mean the cheater doesn't have to leave home and wander bars to meet a potential partner.

 

Legitimate online dating sites do not allow married people to use their services, but nothing can be done to keep users from lying about their marital status. Other companies specialize in targeting married persons and lure them to their websites with ads that romanticize infidelity and downplay monogamy. Email spam further entices potential cheaters who might never have thought of being unfaithful but are easily tempted to see what's out there on the World Wide Web.

 

Whether deliberately looking for a fling or innocently surfing the Web's romance filled waters, an endless source of willing partners is instantly available for online cheating. Cyberspace provides a safe, seemingly risk-free atmosphere in which to travel, without worries of being seen together in public. Whether at work or at home, a cyber-affair is always convenient, just a mouse click away, even if your spouse or lover is in the next room. Once cyber cheaters connect, the Internet provides a convenient means for the relationship to continue.

 

Many people do not consider cyber cheating an actual affair because the participants might never meet face to face or have sex. But a cyber affair, even under those circumstances, is in the least emotional cheating.

 

Time and energy are spent with another individual outside the main relationship. The cheater is taking something from their loved one and giving it to another, depriving the spouse or lover of their total involvement. Even when there is no sexual contact, there's an emotional attachment to the comfort that is found logging onto the Internet and finding fulfillment of one sort or another. A need is being fulfilled by a third party and the cheater is depriving the partner of that role, not to mention presumed trust. William Shakespeare said, ''A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.'' An affair by any other name still stinks.

 

It's a widely held belief among relationship experts that cyber affairs result in real-time sex more often than not. According to surveys by WomanSavers.com, of those who've had an online affair, one-third admits that so-called innocent cyber flirting eventually goes from email and chat-room conversation to telephone calls and finally a sexual encounter. Another study by the Fortino Group shows nearly one-third of all divorce litigation results from online affairs. Odds therefore are not good that a committed relationship can survive online infidelity. One out of three cyber relationships is probably going to escalate into much more than an innocent way to spend time online. Cyber cheating is not the same as online solitaire, even when it involves avatars in an alternate reality. Ultimately it's between real people who must face the stark realism of heartbreak and damaged relationships.

 

Technology indisputably enables a cheating lover. The good news is it's far easier to catch a cheater with today's technology. What previously took months even years to uncover can now be learned in less than a week.

CHEATER PROFILE - TOP TEN TRAITS

Is everyone a potential cheater? No. But a large number of people think nothing of cheating on their partners. Some are more likely to

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Texte: Noah Daniels
Bildmaterialien: wolfmedia2000
Lektorat: Wolfgang Buschek
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 05.09.2015
ISBN: 978-3-7396-1233-1

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