Author's Note

First of all, since you are reading this part, I would like to thank you for reading this story!

I would like to say (type) a few things:

1. This story was not inspired by One Night with the Prince, The Selection and One Direction. I haven't even heard of them when I started with the story. As I've said before, this was inspired by the show of the same name, The Bachelor. Another thing: Julianne's pen name was not based on John Green. "J" is the initial of my name and as Julianne's. And I am GREENWRITER and I love GREEN, thus the pen name. I have not heard of John Green even before I came up with this story in 2011.

2. Yes, this story is already published under Pop Fiction, an imprint of Summit Media. It is available nationwide in the Philippines, but not internationally. To those who would like an ebook, you can buy it through Buqo, Summit's online ebook store. Just download the Buqo app.

3. The version you have read, or are about to read, is not the edited one. It will stay here on Wattpad, unedited and untouched as I uploaded them and I am sorry for that. I don't have the time to edit or proofread my works--all of them.

4. This is actually the third of a series of spin-offs. The proper order are as follows: The Transient Wife, His Lovely Ward, The Bachelor and The Perfect Lie. All are finished works and all can be read without reading the others if you are not interested.

5. Though I am a Filipino, I cannot write in formal Filipino/Tagalog since I grew up using Hiligaynon/Ilonggo (Bacolod City), a local dialect in the Philippines and I don't know a lot of Filipino/Tagalog words that would make my stories equally effective. Believe me, I tried numerous times and failed miserably. I will continue to write my stories in English and I hope everyone will respect that.

6. For some reasons, I cannot give away my stories for editing/proofreading by other Wattpad users who are kind enough to offer me their free services. I would love to work with you, but I just can't do that right now. I hope you would understand.

7. For a complete list of all my works, please visit my WORKS page! I hope you continue to support my stories! You are all an inspiration!

Prologue

Copyright © 2016 by David Dower

It all started with a bet.

“I’m serious man, if you ditch twenty-five women, I will believe everything you said,” Liam uttered, looking Zach in the eyes. “You’re telling me love is trash, right? What do you call it…a passing moment?”

“Exactly that--a passing moment,” Zach nodded, tipping his bottle of beer towards his friend. “That’s why I’m going to take your bet seriously.”

Liam raised his eyebrows, “You are?”

“You bet I will,” he said proudly. “Okay, you don’t believe me?” he straightened on his chair, but before he turned his full attention back on the topic he winked at the blonde lady sitting just three stools away from them. “Okay, you don’t believe me?” he repeated, turning his head back towards his friend.

“Sort of,” Liam answered, more to provoke him than doubting his words.

He leaned closer, his head bent. “I’m going to prove to you that I can ditch women without glancing back at any of them. And I’m going to do that on national television,” he grinned at his friend’s appalled look.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to be the next Bachelor,” he pointed at the television screen hanging by the rack of liquors at the bar. “Hell, I’ll make a fool of myself—and probably lose a few gals for it—just to prove to you that I, Zachary Astor, can ditch twenty-five women.”

“You’re not really kidding, are you?” Liam seemed to have finally realized that he was not fooling around.

“Of course I’m not. In fact, I will set the rules myself,” he grinned wickedly and counted with his fingers. “There will be twenty-five women in that damn competition, right?” his friend nodded and he continued, “I will not choose anyone by the end of the season—not one—and I will not go after any of the girls after the show ends.” He looked at his friend straight in the eyes to show how serious he was. “You hear me? I’m going to ditch those women and I will not meet one of them after I’m done. And you know how hot the women who join,” he finished with a meaningful look.

“I don’t know man, I think you’re going to lose this one,” Liam said after a while.

“Why?”

“Because you might just meet The One?”

Zach almost fell off his chair. He usually did whenever Liam talked about fate, meeting the one and all fairytale nonsense. “Oh, come on, that’s why I’m doing this, right? To prove to you that there is no The One,” he smiled and gulped down his beer. When he saw his friend’s doubtful look, he sighed and took his phone from the back of his jeans pocket. “See this? I’m going to call some people.”

“Okay, we had a few drinks and we are practically thinking from the bottle. You don’t have to be serious—”

He held up one finger to silence his friend, placing his phone against his ear. “Yes, Jeffrey, this is Zach Astor, yes, yes, I’m fine. So, I’m wondering if you have any idea about who the next Bachelor is. Yes, I’m talking about the show…” he winked at his gaping friend as the man on the other end answered his questions. For suspense, he stood up and walked away for a few moments, talking with Jeffrey.

He was grinning from ear to ear when he came back to sit back on his stool. He held his beer to his mouth as Liam asked, “Well?”

“My friend, I will be the next Bachelor. And I’m going to ditch twenty-five women.”

***If you are reading this using the app on your phone, you might encounter some problems such as with the page breaks. Double-spaces don't appear on the app. But you will have a fine experience if you are reading with your browser. Let's hope that the technical team on Wattpad will be able to resolve the issues regarding the page breaks on the phone apps! :D

***Just to make things clear, this story was not inspired by ONE NIGHT WITH THE PRINCE though I heard it's amazing despite the fact that I haven't read it yet.

***And yes, this was inspired by the real show with the same title, but only the concept, okay? Other things are purely from my own imagination, so please don't expect things to be exactly the way the show should be. (AND, no, I am not a fan of the show. So, peace to those who love watching it!) :))

 ***Someone already tried to copy this work and posted it on another site as their own. I don't want it to happen again so please, know more about plagiarism! :)

***I haven't edited a chapter of this story so forgive the errors!

Chapter 1

Julianne walked along the corridor, the sound of her plain black shoes muffled by the carpeted floors. She held tighter the folder in her hand and halted her steps outside the door that held the sign, Director.

Lifting her fist, she knocked twice.

“Come in,” came the reply.

She pushed the door open and wore her pleasant smile. “Good morning, Mr. Carter,” she greeted.

“Yes, yes, come closer.” The spectacled man did not glance up from the paper he held in his hands. “Sit,” he motioned his head towards the only chair standing across his messy table.

Julianne did as she was told and sat down.

“You applied to be a script writer?” came the question.

“Yes, sir.”

“For one of our TV series,” he stated without question, still examining the papers before him.

“Yes.”

“I see you haven’t worked as one before.”

“No, sir, I haven’t.” She left out the part that she was a published author in her resume and that her book had done quite well for a beginner. But she couldn’t brag about that. She never planned to anyway.

“And why do you think I should hire you?”

“Because apart from having a degree in English and Literature, I believe I also have the knack for it.”

For the first time, Jack Carter looked up and studied her. He didn’t look bad or old as she had expected. As a matter of fact, to give the man credit, he looked rather handsome with his messy brown hair and black eyes. And right that moment those eyes were looking at her and she didn’t know if what he found in her was pleasing him or not.

Julianne mentally racked her memory, trying to remember if she had combed her brown hair neatly enough or if she made sure that the only thing she had put on her face, which was her light pink lipstick, was not smudged or if her glasses were crystal clear. She also tried to think if her black dress was not at all askew. And by the time she was done with her mental wanderings, she was pretty sure she looked clean and presentable enough to pass the director’s eyeful judgment. After all, the job she was aiming for did not require having to appear in front of the camera.

She was starting to feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze when he spoke, “I’m sorry, Ms. Grey, but all slots have been filled since yesterday.”

Julianne was not the type to drop her shoulders and leave defeated, but she was the type who would want an explanation first—and then take her leave. “Then why did you call me in?”

“Because,” he leaned closer, resting his arms on his desk. “We want you to fill another spot.”

She frowned, “What spot?”

Jack Carter did not hear her answer—or rather chose to ignore it—because once again, he looked down at his paper and then back at her. “How old are you exactly?” he asked.

“Twenty-five.”

“You don’t look twenty-five,” he said more to himself than to her.

“A lot of people say that,” she replied. “What spot are you talking about, Mr. Carter?”

“Ms. Grey,” he stood up and started to pace behind his chair. “Do you watch the show The Bachelor?”

Julianne’s frown grew deeper. “The game show?”

“It’s not exactly a game show,” he corrected. “It’s reality TV.”

It’s still a game show. A stupid, egotistical, narcissistic, unliterary game show, she said to herself. “What about it?” she asked.

“I’ll be directing the next season which will start airing live two days from now and just a few hours ago--before you got the call to come here, actually,” he leaned against his desk with one hand and looked at her, “I received a call that one of the twenty-five girls who got in to be in the show backed out, saying she got engaged yesterday.”

Julianne waited for him to continue and when he didn’t she said, “Well, good for her.”

“And now we’re short of one girl to complete the twenty-five.” Julianne got a strong feeling where their conversation was heading and she was ready with an answer: NO. “And then, just minutes after I received that disappointing news, I got a call from one of my script writers from the TV series Living Life, which I will be directing next season, telling me that she will quit once her baby comes out. She said she wants to be a full-time mom.”

Julianne tried to hold out her ready-made answer for a moment after hearing that last part. She did not say a word and let Jack Carter continue his speech.

“What I’m proposing to you, Ms. Grey, is that you fill in the missing spot of one of the women in The Bachelor. You don’t have to try to stay in the show. Yes, the new Bachelor might choose you to be in the top fifteen, but there’s the bigger chance that he won’t,” he emphasized that last statement by looking at her all over again. “Let’s just say that you’ll only be there as a proxy, just to fill in the missing spot. So, you act as one of the ladies, fill in that missing spot and get the hell out of there. And then I’ll give you the vacant writer spot my soon-to-be-mommy writer will be leaving soon. What do you think?” Jack Carter looked at her with confidence. He knew what he was doing and he believed in it, Julianne thought silently. Carter was the kind of man who was used to getting what he wanted.

“I can leave whenever I want?” she asked.

“No, you can leave when the Bachelor doesn’t pick you. It will be easy,” he shrugged. “I personally know the man and he doesn’t really go for someone your type.”

Julianne was not offended, but she was deep in thought. She was not bothered about how she looked or how others saw her. She was deep in thought about something else entirely—something her wild writer side was already giddy for.

This could be something new. She could get some good subjects to write about for her future book if she joined the show. Getting out would be easy. She knew men don’t really dig women who dress or act like her. And if she could spare some time for one episode, endure the hours to be surrounded by vain women and finally get eliminated, then she would get that job she wanted. Living Life was a good series and she would love to work in it.

Having made her decision, she looked up at Jack Carter and said, “I’ll agree to your proposition only if you sign on it.”

Jack Carter smiled at her and held out his hand, “Consider it done.”

 *****

Diane, her friend and editor, looked at her with mouth slightly open. “You said no, right?” she asked, her eyebrows rising higher.

“Of course I said yes,” Julianne answered, throwing the high-heeled shoes she borrowed at the far corner of the room.

“This is just one of those moments when you’re trying to be funny it isn’t really working, right?”

Julianne frowned and looked at her friend. “No, I’m serious. I’m going to join that game show.”

“Okay, let’s assume I believe you…” Diane shifted on her seat and faced her, hands clasped together. “Why exactly did you agree to Carter’s proposal? You’re not bankrupt to be this desperate to get that writing job, are you? Because I will find it hard to believe for I know your book is doing pretty amazing right now. And I know you will not need to work for the next ten years or so. So,” Diane paused to catch her eyes, “tell me why you agreed to Carter’s outrageous proposal, Jules.”

“I’m curious,” she shrugged.

“Curious.”

“Yeah, I’m curious. I want to know what really happens behind the camera and I want to get a feel of those women who throw themselves at the Bachelor or whoever or whatever you call them.”

“Okay, that’s it…I’m through playing around. You can spit the punch line now,” Diane held up her hand.

Julianne frowned, untying her long brown hair. “There’s no punch line and I’m serious,” she eyed her friend through her slim spectacles, “I’m really serious.”

Diane looked at her for a long time, her eyes blank like she was looking at something but nowhere in particular at the same time. “You’re serious.”

Julianne nodded. “But,” she stood up and walked towards the kitchen counter, “as I’ve said, I’m not there for the long haul. I don’t expect to be and I don’t want to be. I just want to get enough points of view on what’s going on in that show for my next novel.”

“What if the Bachelor doesn’t want to let you go?”

Julianne chuckled dryly. “Diane, people like the Bachelor don’t even take a second glance at someone like me.”

“Why? You’re pretty,” Dian contradicted, “you’re not just vain enough.”

Julianne rolled her eyes. “I like myself as what I am.”

“But what are you going to do if ever that happens? I mean, if the Bachelor chooses you to stay?”

Julianne looked at her friend. “That’s why I’ll have to make sure he will kick me out at first sight, right?”

Chapter 2

The following day, Julianne woke up with the sound of her condo unit’s doorbell only to find out that some people from The Bachelor came for an interview.

“I’ve been watching the television and I saw your promotion. I don’t think it’s necessary,” she argued after John, who seemed to be the leader of the group, told her about the promotional video.

“But it is the one with Marissa in it and now she’s gone and you’ll be stepping in. We need your face,” he insisted.

“Look, your promotional video is flashing twenty-five faces in less than ten seconds. I don’t think someone will complain about it. You can leave and I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?”

“Fine,” said the man. “But we still have to make an interview.”

“For what?”

“For the excerpts. In the first episode, we will introduce each of the twenty-five women. We need to make a recorded interview so you better change now.”

Julianne reminded herself that they were merely doing their job and that she was the one who got herself into it, so she better try to cooperate as much as she could. And for the next few hours, Julianne found herself facing the camera, regretting her refusal to wear any makeup because the light coming from every direction was making her face a frying pan as of the moment.

“Why did you join?” asked John for the nth time.

“To explore my curious side,” she answered for the nth time.

“Cut!” John shouted. “Can’t you give a better answer?”

“No,” Julianne answered back, her eyes squinting. “Can I have my glasses back?”

“No,” he snapped at her. “It’s not good for the camera,” he paused for a while, sighed, and said, “Okay, on to the next question.” He looked at the camera guy and said, “Roll.” Then, he looked back at her and asked, “Tell us something about you.”

Though Julianne’s eyesight was impaired, she could still see shadows and figures, and she knew that the camera was only focusing on her face. John, she was quite certain was beside the camera guy, just asking the questions and directing. She suddenly felt conscious at how she might look. Hey, give her some slack, like any other ladies, there were just moments that she felt that uncomfortable feeling no matter how comfortable she was with herself—and there was only one reason: she couldn’t see clearly and she needed her glasses! Aside from that, she would be perfectly fine.

She cleared her throat and tucked her bounty waves behind her ear and said, “I’m a writer—pen name not possible for public to know by the way—and I’m twenty-five years old, single, American—”

“Cut!” John shouted once again. “You’re a writer, right?”

“Yes,” Julianne said dryly. This was getting boring and hot—what with all those stupid lights pointing at her.

“Then make something up. Imagine yourself not you. Imagine someone more…lively,” John’s movements, as what her poor eyesight could see, appeared like he was explaining to a three-year-old.

“Okay,” she was getting irritated now, her lips pursed.

“Roll,” John said to the camera guy once again, and said aloud, “Tell us about you.”

“I’m a writer and I would rather be somewhere in a place I created than on this chair with all the lights burning my face. I’m twenty-five and I think I’m starting to waste more of my precious life sitting here doing this interview. And no, I won’t do another roll or whatever you call that. I’m done,” she smiled blindly at the camera and jumped off her stool. “My glasses, please!”

“You can’t hold us responsible if people will find you undesirable, or funny, or stupid,” John said, glaring at her—and she could see that clearly now with her glasses on.

“That will be perfectly fine,” she shrugged one shoulder.

They did a long battle of gaze until John scoffed and shouted over his shoulder, “Let’s wrap up!” and then he was gone, his back to her, making hasty orders, not bothering to speak another word at her direction.

“Someone will pick you up tomorrow,” a small nerdy woman approached her, holding a folder. “Pack your stuff, every best dress and accessories you got.”

Julianne just nodded. She already packed enough for a one-day stay.

When the last man carrying lights and umbrellas made his exit, Julianne let out the air she had been holding in. She studied the piece of paper the woman left for her to read.

Zachary Astor…of course she knew the name.

Zachary Astor, the sole heir to Astor Industries, the largest food enterprise in the country.

“You must be kidding me,” she moaned. “Filthy rich bastard as the Bachelor…”

Sweeping her keen eyes over the man’s profile, she learned that the next Bachelor, aside from being handsome—which was already given—was nearing his thirties and had never been married. Known as a player, the paper said, he was hoping to find the woman who could make him rooted.

Julianne snorted and crunched up her face. She was a good judge of characters, and as an author and a writer, she had developed a special talent for detecting lies and hypocrisy among that of genuine love and happiness. This is bull, she crumpled the paper and threw it right in the trash.

 *****

“What have you got yourself into this time, Zachary?” Mr. Astor’s face was burning red as he threw the paper on the table.

“It’s for publicity, dad,” he lied, covering his phone with one hand. “This is good for business.” He knew what his father was furious about. He had been expecting that, and he had prepared pretty good enough reasons to save his butt.

“And since when did you care about business?” his father asked, eyes blazing, and he was afraid he’d have to bring him to the hospital again.

“Of course I care, dad,” he stood up, clicked off his phone—he would have to call Liam back later—and faced his dad. “Look, I know I’ve done some things that weren’t very pleasing for the company, but hey, this can be my chance to redeem myself, right?”

“By being the next Bachelor? Whatever got into your head?!”

“Yes,” he nodded, keeping his calm. “Dad, look at the brighter side,” he motioned with his hand, “if I meet someone in that show that will be suitable to be my wife, and if—with your blessings together with mom—I choose to marry her and settle down, it will be nice for everybody’s eyes. Astor Industries will be the biggest family-oriented food enterprise. You wanted that from me, right?”

Inside his gut, Zach was hoping his father would take his words, but as usual, since the very first time he smashed his first car, his father only said, “You will be the death of me, Zachary. I swear to God, if you make another scandal this time, you’re out.”

And just like that, the old man turned on his heels and stormed out the room.

Zachary was trying to decode his father’s last words and when he did, it alarmed him. Does that mean he’ll cut me out? But that couldn’t be because he was an only son. And it was not like he would be making a big scandal with the show. He’d just leave without choosing anyone at the end and that’d not be scandalous at all if he could give enough good reason. Some people had already done that in the show.

Shaking his head, he grinned and dialed his friend’s number once again. “Hey, tomorrow’s the big day, buddy. Why don’t you and I go out? It will be my last night to party without the world watching me.”

 *****

“I really hope you’ll change your mind,” Diane told her as the doorbell rang. Her friend came early to say goodbye as well for she would have to go somewhere outside the city to promote her book without her.

She did not mind her friend’s statement and stood up to answer the door. “I hope so too, but I already committed to do this.”

“And you’re only doing it for research, I know it,” Diane stared at her pointedly.

“Stop that,” she looked over her shoulder as she made her way towards her door. “And don’t worry. I’ll be right there with you tomorrow for the tour, okay?”

“You better,” Diane cried out from the couch. “Your fans have been dying to see you since your book made a hit and you can’t disappoint them for not showing up!”

“Fine, fine! I’ll be there, okay? Now, shut up. My ride has come and I need to go,” she said before she turned the knob and swung the door open. A man was watching his watch and glanced up at her, his face blank. “We have to go now, Ms. Grey.”

“I’ll just get my bag,” she held up one finger and rushed to where Diane was sitting, already holding her small suitcase for her.

“Are you sure this is all you’re going to need?”

“Of course,” she beamed and adjusted her glasses.

“And are you sure you’re going looking like that?”

She frowned, looked down at her baggy green sleeveless shirt, her tight black pants, and her silver-white sandals. “Yes, I am.”

“You know you’re going to appear on national television, right?”

“But getting kicked out of that show is more important, right?”

Diane rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yes, you’re right. But let your hair loose, will you? I love your natural waves.”

Just to keep her friend looking satisfied, she gave in and pulled at the strings that held her hair in place. It was a good thing as well since the few people who knew her and who might be watching tonight’s show might not just point her out. Not that she cared anyway. “Bye, Diane, see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be waiting.” And then she looked at Julianne pointedly saying, “Your fans will be waiting.”

“Yes, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Be sure, okay? You know you won’t be allowed to have phones in that show.”

“Yes, I know. I read the damn contract before I signed it.”

“Are we going or not?” the man outside the hallway peeked his head through the open door.

“Coming!” Julianne shouted over her shoulder. She hugged her friend and said, “Lock the house before you leave, okay?”

“Got it,” Diane waved and she left.

 *****

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” the driver grinned at her through the rearview mirror.

Julianne’s warning sensors came to life.

She didn’t like surprises and no one mentioned any surprises! She knew that the show was doing this to get genuine reactions from contestants so it was inevitable. But she couldn’t show her anxiety so she sat there, silent as a mute as the driver drove through the morning traffic.

“What are we doing here?” she finally asked in alarm when she realized where the driver had taken her.

“This is the surprise,” was the giddy response she received. “Hop out! We don’t have much time. The others have arrived, and look at all those…” he couldn’t finish his sentence as his eyes wandered some meters away, whistling that tone men used every time they see breasts and butts.

Julianne looked out the window and saw for herself a dozen or so women, dressed in dresses that in themselves were silently shouting, “Notice me!”, strutting their way towards the private hangar, their big suitcases wheeled behind them. “Where are you taking us?” she asked once again, grabbing the driver’s attention once more.

“That’s the big reveal for later. Now, come on!”

Reluctantly, she climbed out of the car and followed the path the ladies were taking. There were a numerous number of heads with different colors, cuts, curls, and by the look from their faces—from the few that Julianne was able to see—they wore the same curious looks. But apart from that, she also noted their excitement which she couldn’t find herself to feel.

Without getting much of a glance from the other ladies who could have been lost from America’s Next Top Model show, Julianne was able to make herself stand at the far back, far away from the cameras and lights that were already set up beside the large private plane inside the hangar.

“Welcome, ladies!” A man in tuxedo she had never seen before greeted them with his handsome smile and tanned looks. “Yes, I know you’re all curious why Chris is not the one facing you right now. This, ladies, is just one of the surprises we have in stored for you.” He paused as he looked at her fellow girls say “Ohh…” like they were stupid. Why does everyone have to say something when no one actually asked a question? “I’m Brent, and I am the new host for The Bachelor—I hope you’re not disappointed?”

The ladies smiled and shook their head and his smile widened. “Now that we got Chris’ absence for one season covered—by me—let me all welcome you to The Bachelor Season 16!” There were cries of glee and excitement from all the ladies and Julianne couldn’t help but smile and shake her head, not really knowing what to think. “Now,” Brent continued when the noise died down, “you must all be wondering why we are here?”

And heads from black, to blonde, to red, to brown, nodded their heads vigorously that Julianne imagined those little doggies she had on her car’s dashboard.

“Well, ladies, you are all going to stay at our Bachelor’s private island—”

“What?!”

“Oh my God!”

“Yes!”

“This is so exciting!”

Julianne had the urge to cover her ears as the ladies’ outbursts rang around the hangar.

“I see you’re all getting excited to board the plane so let me just take this moment to let our very own Bachelor explain everything—”

But no one was listening to Brent anymore as the plane’s door opened and there, like he was climbing out Air Force One, was Zachary Astor. Julianne was quite startled, really, that the hangar was in complete silence as the women looked at the man climbing down the plane’s stairs with astonishment and wonder in their eyes.

Of course the man was handsome—as almost all the Bachelors. Stark black hair, green eyes, imperfect but manly nose, well-shaped chin, great jaw, amazing broad shoulders, really good height—the works. But every appealing feature he might have that she might have seen was erased by the overpowering confidence and proud, smirking grin he was wearing as he devoured and reveled on the attention everyone was giving him.

While every woman present in the hangar was looking at him with admiration and awe, Julianne found herself frowning. As she looked at Zachary Astor, all she could see were fast cars, limousines, five-star hotels, bodyguards, VIP bars, elegant women, golf clubs, and…money. She was not struck by all of that because she couldn’t see him making coffee, eating at a diner, doing the lawn, driving a family car, or even wearing baggy clothes.

There was no disappointment though, because she never expected anyone like Zachary Astor to be anyone else than what he appeared to be: a rich egotistical boy who was borne rich, would die rich and be placed in a filthy rich golden casket and later in a golden urn to be placed inside a golden, freaking vault with his rich name engraved outside the door.

“Hello, ladies,” his deep, playful voice said, shattering the silence that had lingered at his presence.

“Hi…” was the echoed response from the eager ladies.

“Well, Brent already told you about the island, right?”

Heads of different colors and textures nodded once more.

“It’s a secret where it is though so as to prevent people outside the show to come swimming their way to wherever we will be,” he paused as his audience laughed. Julianne did not bother to hear his every word, too busy looking at the cameras and the crew behind them, trying to see what each person was doing. “Now,” her attention was called back to the man standing at the center of everything, “the only glitch is,” his face cringed as he held his words for suspense, “though I want everyone of you to stay with me on the island, I’m afraid I will have to choose—as we fly our way to the island—who among you will have to climb back on the plane and fly their way back here, leaving the island—and me.”

“Aaww…” the ladies groaned. Yeah, right. Like you didn’t expect an elimination, Julianne thought dryly.

“So, I hope you all give your best shot during our three-hour flight,” he winked and Brent stepped in, giving Zachary a big pat on the back.

“So, ladies, give your big shot, and let’s all board in!”

Julianne suddenly felt lost as their bags were taken away from them, leaving nothing but their own personal self to board the plane.

“Hi!” a blonde-haired girl beside her said as they waited for the other girls to climb up the plane first. “I didn’t notice you earlier. I’m Pauline,” the lady then held out her hand.

Julianne took it and smiled. “Julianne.”

“You sure you’re not going to change into a dress?” Pauline asked it in a way that was not offending at all, but merely curious.

She shook her head, “No, I’m not. I feel comfortable.”

“Wow, your glasses are thick!” Pauline said with awe.

“Yeah,” she smiled and nodded, not sure if she should explain her eye grades or how important her glasses were.

“Can you see when they’re off?”

“A little,” she nodded, walking one step ahead as the line ascended up the stairs. “But I’m nearly legally blind.”

“I see,” Pauline just nodded. “Hey, what do you think of Zach?”

“Handsome,” she commented.

“Hot, right? I really hope to get to know him more.”

“Uh-huh,” were the only syllable she could utter.

“So, tell me about your audition, how did you get in?”

“I—”

“Come on, ladies, we don’t have all the time in the world!” a man at the top of the stairs waved them up.

The next few minutes were spent settling them all down and hushing everybody up. Julianne couldn’t see Zachary anywhere and thought that he was probably in a private room within the plane. Speaking of the plane, well, you could say it was big considering it could accommodate twenty-five women and a crew of cameras and lights.

The plane flew off the ground the moment everybody was belted into their seats, and as the pilot announced that it was safe to unbuckle their belts, the commotion was back among the camera crew, trying to get a few shots of almost everything and everybody.

“So, how are you all feeling?” Brent asked them after taking his break to redo his foundation.

“Excited!” was the word that rose up among others.

“Since this flight is going to be a long one, Zachary decided to spend it with each and every one of you,” he nodded his head with his perfect grin as the ladies squealed. “Yes, ladies, each of you will have your own private moment with Zach.”

As Brent’s words were decoded into her brain, Julianne sank into her seat beside Pauline, praying for turbulence.

Chapter 3

Zachary looked up as Brent entered his private room, beaming. “You ready?” the host asked with the camera behind him.

He smiled as he placed down the magazine he was reading and nodded, “I guess so.”

“So, before we let the ladies in to have a little time with you, let me ask you one question first.”

Zach smirked and leaned back against the leather sofa, his arms folded under his head, “Shoot.”

“What made you decide to become the next Bachelor?”

“Well, you all know, the public know, that I have been straying my way for fun,” he paused as Brent nodded with a chuckle, “I don’t know, I think I just woke up one day  thinking, ‘Hey, I’m done.’ So here I am, hoping to find the woman who can make me fall on my knees.” Zach wanted to gag out the words he just said. But the camera was obviously on a roll and the whole world was watching—probably along with his parents—and he wouldn’t want to go home to nothing. If being a Bachelor meant going all cheesy in front of the camera, he would gladly do it. I’ll have my laugh at the end, he promised himself.

“Wow, such a big step right there, Zach,” Brent said, taking a step back. “We have left something for you to watch so you can know the ladies a little bit before you actually get the time to meet them. Enjoy and good luck.”

“Thanks, man,” he smiled and looked for the remote.

“The tape’s already in there, Mr. Astor. You just push play,” the camera man left behind to shoot him while he watched whatever video was in stored for him said.

“Okay,” he nodded and played the tape.

It was a compilation video of all the women, their faces focused on the screen with their names, occupation, and age. First off was a blonde girl named Chloe with eyes as blue as the ocean beneath them—and definitely his type. “Hi, my name is Chloe. I’m twenty-three, an accountant. I joined The Bachelor in hope of finding love, fun, and more fun.” Zachary smiled inwardly. Ah, yes, fun was all he was and this lady would definitely get it as long as it lasted. Another blonde one appeared after Chloe, this one pretty much the same much to Zach’s pleasure. “Hi, my name is Hanna and I’m twenty-eight, a nurse and a good lover.” Zach chuckled.

This is going to be fun, he thought as he watched on. He was all praises to the crew and staff of The Bachelor for bringing him all these women of different beauties and personalities—some of whom might be too stupid or naïve for his taste—for him to have fun with. There was another woman pretty much the same as Chloe and Hanna named Vivienne, and then there was Brenda, Pauline, Karen, Jill, Stella, Sally, Jenny, Kim, and Penny so far. He had been having too much fun watching the videos that he did not bother to check the time. He doubted if he could remember all the names after though, considering he was not the type to remember women’s name after he spent one night with them.

But when the screen turned black and another video began, he started to frown. Right in front of him, blindly staring ahead and looking uncomfortable was the first woman who really caught his attention because her appearance made him curious as hell. He knew women adored their make-ups, but this one obviously didn’t. And her brown waves of hair were everywhere and it appeared like she was in a hurry and did not bother to brush it. “Why did you join?” Zach heard someone not included in the scene asked.

Zach even got more curious. Every video he saw—from Chloe to the last one—started smoothly with them saying their names and so on, but this one looked like it underwent a lot of cuts.

“To explore my curious side,” the brown-haired beauty answered dryly. Zach’s eyes flickered on the lower left of the screen to read her name. Julianne, 25, writer. Then there was that cut again and he wondered why no one bothered to edit the film smoothly like every else’s. “I’m a writer—pen name not possible for public to know by the way—and I’m twenty-five years old, single, American—” and there was that cut again. Zach looked at the camera man standing just beside the screen he was staring with an amused look.

“What the—” but his question was interrupted when the video started once again.

“I’m a writer and I would rather be somewhere in a place I created than on this chair with all the lights burning my face. I’m twenty-five and I think I’m starting to waste more of my precious life sitting here doing this interview. And no, I won’t do another roll or whatever you call that. I’m done.” And that was it. The screen turned black once again. Zach waited for a few more seconds for the possibility of it turning back on, but it seemed that it was over because the logo of the show appeared indicating it would not be showing more.

“What’s the problem with that last video?” he asked aloud.

The camera man placed down his big gadget and shrugged. Zachary was still trying to figure that one out when the door opened and Brent came in. “Hey, man, we’re ready to roll in a minute.” He looked at Zach with a knowing look. “So, how was it? Got your eyes on some ladies already, huh?”

“What’s the problem with the last video?” he asked.

“Ah, the one with the writer?”

“Yes, Julianne,” he nodded.

“It was a rush thing and our team was not able to edit that one. But don’t worry because that part when you were watching it will be edited out when the show is aired. Editing of everything going on here will be our problem. All you have to worry about is who among those ladies will you send home today.”

But Zach was not hearing a thing, his mind full of curiosity as to why Julianne’s video was rushed.

“Okay, so, we’re ready to roll?” he heard Brent ask the camera guy. “Okay, so, Zach, here is the list of the names that will come in here to have a little chat with you. It’s in order so don’t worry in case you can’t remember them.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he smiled and once again, he was left alone with the camera guy. He was still having trouble getting used to being filmed every second, but he was getting the hang of it. As what Brent said, he could do anything he wanted. Editing was the show’s job, not his. As he waited, he looked at the list and noticed that it was exactly the same as the line-up in the video. His eyes ran down to the very bottom and he smiled as he saw Julianne Grey’s name.

 *****

Julianne amused herself by watching the ladies fumble through their bags to fix their makeup. Ever since Chloe stood up and walked towards the door that led to Zachary Astor’s private room, the girls chatted incessantly while applying more gloss on their lips and patting their hairs with their hands.

“Can you wake me up when they call my name?” she asked Pauline who was busily looking at her mirror.

“Okay,” the lady smiled without throwing her a glance.

And I really hope they intentionally forget I’m here, she said to herself as she leaned against the window and closed her eyes.

She was in her dream world with the characters of her next novel when she felt a sudden jerk.

“Hey, you’re up!” Pauline prodded. “Oh my God, you’re going to love him! He’s amazing!”

Julianne blinked a few times. “What?”

“You’re up! Go! Go! Go!” Pauline said excitedly. She looked around and noticed that some women were looking at her, disapproval on their faces.

“Ms. Grey, you’re up,” the same nerdy woman from her apartment said from down the aisle.

“Yeah, coming,” she groaned and slowly went to her feet.

“Your hair’s a mess,” Pauline pointed out.

“It’s fine,” she murmured and walked down the aisle, holding on to the back of the seats she passed by.

“She is so not getting a rose,” she heard someone say behind her.

That would be great, she replied in her mind.

“What’s wrong with your hair?” The nerdy woman whom she now saw by her name tag as Fatima said as she came near, reaching out to fix the waves.

“It’s fine,” she answered. “Is this the door?”

“Yes, just go right in. He’s waiting.”

“Yeah, right,” she uttered dryly and turned the knob.

She caught him looking startled by her entrance. Oops, she forgot to knock. Like she cared.

“Hi, Julianne,” he smiled his awesome perfect smile.

Julianne did not answer, her eyes on the camera guy at the corner of the small room. Then they landed on him sitting on the leather sofa looking very comfortable and proud wearing a black long-sleeved polo shirt folded up to his elbow. “Where do I sit?” she asked.

“Please, forgive me, please sit down,” he motioned with his hand at the small chair beside him. She took the rest of the steps and sat down. “I didn’t know you wear glasses. And man, those are thick!” he chuckled, peering closer, green eyes full of amazement.

“What do you mean?”

“In your interview video you were not wearing any,” he explained, leaning back against his kingly leather sofa.

“It’s because they took it away from me,” she answered dryly, her eyes curiously looking around. She was taking the chance to examine everything. Hey, it was not every day that she could ride a private plane. She might use whatever she could get here for one of her stories.

 *****

Zach was speechless for a moment. It was the first time he didn’t know what to say in front of a woman. What’s wrong with her? It seems like she didn’t want to be here at all.

He cleared his throat which caught back her attention and her brown eyes behind those damned glasses met his. He wanted to snatch the pair of spectacles away and crumple them in his hands. He realized he liked looking at her eyes. They were not really the same as the others who looked like they wanted to swallow him alive. Hers were different. They stared at him like he was not there or something and it made him curious.

“So,” he cleared his throat once again, smiling his best smile, knowing the camera was rolling, “you’re a writer.”

“Yes,” she answered.

“What do you write?”

“Novels,” she answered once again.

“Care to share?”

“No,” she shook her head and gave a forced little smile for apology.

“Well, no worries,” he sighed, “there will be enough time to do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“This show’s going last for what? A few months? So there will be time to know about your secret works.”

“You don’t intend to keep me here, do you?” she asked.

Zach chuckled, “Why not? I find you interesting,” he answered honestly.

She looked shocked and he almost wanted to laugh out loud. Then, he saw panic cross her features. His frown deepened.

 *****

Julianne looked at the camera, considered for a moment and then decided. She leaned closer, moving one finger to tell him to lean his head over. With a curious frown, he did so, and their head were just inches apart. “Look,” she whispered, “I don’t really want to be here, okay?”

“I think I already figured that one out, yes,” he nodded and she felt his black hair brush against her forehead.

“And I will greatly appreciate it if you send me home today,” she whispered hurriedly.

“What?”

“Send me home today,” she repeated.

“And why would I do that?” he asked, lifting his head so he could look at her.

Julianne instantly leaned back when she felt his nose touch hers. Sighing, she leaned forward once again to whisper in his ear, “I need to go somewhere tomorrow and I don’t want to miss it for the world.”

She held her breath as she leaned back and watched his reaction. He did not say a word for like half a minute. He just sat there, his body leaning forward, apparently thinking about what she just said.

“It’s not like it will be such a big loss if you do that,” she added, this time for everyone to hear.

She saw the corner of his mouth lift up and he leaned back against the sofa with a sigh. “Hmm, you’re probably right,” he shrugged and she let out a breath of relief.

She smiled at him gratefully and said, “Thank you. I really appreciate this.”

 *****

Zach watched the change of that smile did on her face. She was, utterly, incredibly beautiful and he doubted if she knew that or if she cared at all. He could tell her priorities were far away from vanity and it deeply amused him further more. He would love to have her around for fun. Yes, the other ladies would surely be fun enough, but he was sure this woman would be fun in a different way. She would be fun in a way that excited him.

“Okay,” he nodded his head and her smile widened. “I will find a way to make it more convenient for you.”

“Thank you very much,” and she stood up, ready to leave.

“You’re leaving?” The question came out his lips without his knowledge.

“Yes, why stay longer if I’m leaving later, right?”

“Yeah, of course, thank you for your time, Jules,” he winked at her.

“Don’t call me Jules,” her smile disappeared.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t really like that name.”

“But I like it. Bye, Jules. See you soon,” he waved his hand. Her lips pursed, but she did not say a word and left.

Zach couldn’t erase the smile on his lips.

That woman was the first and only one who was giddy to leave his presence.

And she wanted to leave the show.

Zach sighed and thought about what he needed to do.

 *****

“How was it?” Pauline asked her when she came back.

“It was as what I hoped for,” she smiled.

“Wasn’t he great?”

“Fabulous,” she said with a little tinge of sarcasm. “I’m really tired and I need some sleep,” she added apologetically.

Pauline just smiled at her and nodded. “Sure, take a rest. We’re not going to reach this island for another hour or so. I really wonder where it will be.”

“Take it as an adventure,” she said, closing her eyes. “Not knowing where we’re going is exciting enough, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so…”

She didn’t care where The Bachelor was taking them because she would be going back home today.

 *****

The plane landed on a small island unknown to everybody. Then a bus took them to a docking site where a big yacht was waiting for them to take them to the island.

“Hey, can I use my computer here?” she asked Fatima once they boarded the yacht.

“Aren’t you going to join them and have fun?” she asked, pointing her head towards the group. She followed with her gaze. There, at the very center of the girls was Zachary Astor, enjoying the attention of twenty or so women.

“No, I think I’m fine,” she answered. She was inside sitting on a couch sipping her orange juice. Pauline left her minutes ago to join the others outside with the fresh ocean air.

“Yes, you can use your computer. But no access to the internet or anything that will give you contact outside,” Fatima reminded her.

“Yes, I know that. I’m just going to do some work,” she smiled gratefully, already tying her hair up, ready to do some action with her computer.

“Okay, call out if you need help or something,” Fatima uttered, looking at her curiously.

“Thanks,” she smiled once again and waited until she was alone. She opened her computer and started working.

 *****

“So, Zach, where are we going exactly?” Chloe asked him. He looked at her admiringly. She changed her clothing—among the other ladies—into some more revealing beach attire. These ladies really packed their whole wardrobe.

Except one, he noted, remembering seeing Julianne Grey somewhere still wearing her green shirt and pants. In fact, he had a clear view of her through the glass window of the cabin sitting alone inside on the couch, frowning down on her computer. “That’s a secret, ladies,” he said, grinning at the beauties that surrounded him. “Brent already told you, right? I don’t want the location of the island known to the whole world.” He leaned closer and whispered, “Someone might try to snatch all of you away from me.”

He received the laughter he expected from each one of them. He sipped his wine, his eyes darting ahead through the window, landing on the uncaring lady sitting cross-legged on his couch with her laptop.

“I bet we’re somewhere in the Caribbean,” he heard one woman say and he just smiled. No way he was telling them where they were.

 *****

“Are you doing whatever you’re doing on purpose?” Julianne snapped her head up and saw Chloe standing by the door, wrapped in bikini with a white silk shawl around her hips.

“What are you talking about?” she frowned down at her computer, already lost in thoughts as she continued typing.

“You’re obviously trying to get Zach’s attention by intentionally making yourself solitary,” Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, think whatever you want. I don’t really care what you think,” Julianne looked up and smiled sarcastically. “So strut off, will you?”

Chloe gasped, her eyes widening. “You’re so not getting a rose. And I don’t really know what made you think you’ll have a chance.”

Julianne gave off a mocking gasp and stated, “Oh, isn’t this Project Runway? Oh my God, I think I’m in the wrong show!”

The blonde’s mouth fell open.

“Close that cave, will you? Flies are swarming over you and you might probably choke to death if they decide to make a nest out of your throat,” she couldn’t help but say. “I’m working so you better leave. Thanks for the visit though,” she turned her attention back on her computer.

“Your kind is now extinct and I’m not wondering why,” Chloe snapped and scoffed her way out the door.

Julianne did not bother dissecting her words and forgot about the incident like it was some stupid show she saw on TV.

 *****

Their trip to the island did not last longer much to the other ladies’ disappointment. As soon as they docked on the most amazing place they had ever been with its white sand and amazing shore, the ladies were ushered to a big cabin enough to hold a dozen more guests.

Jack Carter, much to Julianne’s surprise, was already in the island and had just finished setting up his crew. She reminded herself that he was the director and that, of course, he would be with them until the show finished. Correction, he would be with the ladies until the end—she on the other hand would be leaving today along with the other nine unfortunate ladies.

“Ladies,” Brent announced once they were all settled in the living room, Zachary standing beside him. The cameras, much more sophisticated now, loomed over them, attached to some robotic arms of some kind. “Don’t settle your baggage yet because we still have something to do first. That difficult job will be placed on Zach’s shoulder here. He,” Brent placed his arm over Zach’s shoulder for a tap, “will be choosing who among you will leave this island and go back home.”

Julianne’s heart hammered against her chest. Finally, she would go back to her own unit, have a rest, and join Diane on that promotional tour.

“Zach, are you ready?”

“No,” Zach smiled faintly. Julianne wanted to scoff because she knew it was just all for the camera. “But I think I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“I’m afraid so,” Brent chuckled and turned his attention back on the ladies who looked like they were in some freaking Miss Universe competition and that their whole lives depended on it. From out of nowhere, a man dressed in tuxedo came in, wheeling a table and on it lay over a dozen white roses. “Zach will pick a rose and call out a name. The lucky fifteen ladies who get a rose will stay, get a chance to unpack their bags until the next elimination, and have the chance to go on dates with Zach.” He turned to Zach and added, “Zach?”

Zach just nodded, his eyes already roaming around the twenty-five women before him. He looked at each one of them and when his eyes landed on hers, her heart raced once again, seeing that smirk on his lips.

“See you later, ladies,” Brent waved and walked off. He sat beside Jack Carter, looking at the little screen directors look at during filming.

“I just want to let you all know that I had a great time today,” Zach started his speech. Julianne was not listening, her attention on the people behind the camera. “But I’m afraid I will need to choose,” and without further ado, he reached out and picked a rose. He paused for a while and finally called out the first lucky girl. “Chloe.” The girl gasped and remembering her poise, smiled and walked towards Zach. “I’m hoping to know you better,” Zach said as he handed her the rose.

“Thank you,” Chloe said sweetly and stepped away to the other side of the room.

Zach picked another flower. “Hanna,” and the girl squealed with glee.

Vivienne was up next and she joined the other two. Brenda, Pauline, Karen, Jill, Stella, Sally, Jenny, Kim, Penny, and Amanda followed.

The process was actually long than it appeared on television if you were watching it and Julianne’s feet were already killing her. She couldn’t stand standing for too long. She would have a good rest later in the plane, she thought, trying to endure the last remaining minutes.

There were two more roses to give and she was getting giddy to leave already. Zach picked one rose, leaving the last one. He appeared to breath in a lungful of air before he said, “Tanya.”

The brunette heaved out a sigh of relief and walked towards him to get her rose.

 ******

Zach looked at the eleven women in front of him and smiled. Brent stepped in once again, looking serious than usual and said, “Zach, there’s only one rose left. Choose the best.”

He nodded and took the last remaining white rose on the table. For suspense, he looked at each woman. And then he looked at Julianne who appeared to be ready to leave.

He smiled, took a deep breath, and said, “Julianne.”

Chapter 4

Julianne did not hear him at all. She was so focused on leaving and she was confused when the other ladies standing with her turned around to look at her with their fake smiles, all for the camera of course. She raised her eyebrows and then her eyes went to Zach standing in front, holding a white rose, grinning at her wickedly.

“What—”

“Go on girl, get your ass up there,” one lady slightly pushed her.

“What—”

“Julianne,” Zach was looking at her with an expectant look, holding the rose out.

She could say no.

Yes, she could do that.

But then she remembered the contract she signed with Jack Carter.

She couldn’t say no unless the Bachelor chose not to pick her. Her eyes went to Jack Carter at the corner of the room and the guy appeared to be shocked as well. And when he saw her looking at him, he grinned, lifted his hands with palms upward and shrugged.

She could remember his words very well: I know getting out will be easy for you and it’s like I’m giving out the position you want so easily so I think it will be best if I include that in the contract, he had said when she questioned him why they took her right not to accept the rose. She thought nothing of it back then, certain that she would not get picked.

But the devil standing before her holding a stupid white rose seemed to find it funny to have her around.

She glared at him, snatched the rose from his hand, and without as much as a grateful remark stormed towards the rest of the ladies who did get a rose. And when the camera focused on Brent once again as he entered the scene, she slipped away and entered a corridor, not really knowing where she was leading. She was too furious and too angry to care if she ever went missing.

“Where are you going?” Fatima said behind her.

“Leave me alone for a while, please,” she whispered. “How did you find me anyway?”

“It’s my job to make sure everything’s in place and you are not where you are supposed to be. So please, let’s go back.”

“Tell them I’m not feeling well,” she said. “I have a very intense headache right now,” she faced the woman. “Where’s my bedroom?” she asked.

“You’ll be sharing it with one of the ladies,” Fatima told her after a long time of looking at her. “Let’s go this way. You want me to call the doctor?”

“You have a doctor?”

“Just in case something goes wrong. Precautionary measures since we’re on an island.”

“No, I think a rest will make me feel better, thank you,” she lied.

Fatima led her to the end of the hall and up the big staircase. There were at least seven rooms up there and Fatima took her to the last one at the end of the hall, their steps clicking on the wooden floors. “This is your room. Your bags are in there, I think.”

“Thanks,” she murmured and went inside. It was not that big, but it was good enough for her. There were two single beds and a large window that overlooked the sea. The sea she was supposed to be on any minute now to go home.

“Do you need anything?”

She was startled to learn that Fatima was still there. “No, you may leave. Thanks again,” she smiled and sat on the bed near the window.

Fatima nodded and hastily went back to her work downstairs. Julianne stood up and paced around the room, still holding the rose in her hand.

“The bastard,” she murmured angrily. “He promised me!” She hurled it across the room where it landed on the wooden floor with one petal breaking away.

No, he didn’t.

“It was close to a promise!”

No, it was not.

“Arggh!” she cried out in frustration. She wanted to break something.

She could hear laughter ringing out downstairs. I’m in hell, she thought.

It’s your fault. If you didn’t sign that stupid contract, you won’t be here. If…

If…

It was too late for what if’s. She already doomed herself for another few days. She should have known Zachary Astor was lying. She should have known…

But why did he pick her anyway?

To annoy you, of course.

To make fun?

That must be it.

Julianne grumbled on and on for another five minutes until she finally decided what to do.

 *****

Zachary did not question why Julianne did not join them during dinner or why she suddenly disappeared after receiving his rose. He already knew the answer to that.

He grinned, already imagining her beautiful face crunching with anger.

She’ll get over it, he thought. What could be so important that she has to go to tomorrow than being in the show?

For the moment, he enjoyed the company of the other girls who were just so happy to have gotten a rose. They won’t be too happy in the end, he said to himself.

 *****

There were a lot of things not being shared on television, things that would not be too pleasing for the eyes of those who were not on the show and who were watching in their couches or their beds. No, no dirty stuff yet, but close to that.

After dinner, Zach decided to take a little swim in the ocean with some other ladies that were courageous enough—or desperate enough—to impress him and the raging cold waters. Good thing about the dark skies and water? No one would really know—even the cameras—what was going on underneath the gentle, splashing waves.

Hey, he was a man and a man would not pass up the chance to have a little touching game with beautiful and awesome bodies.

“I had a chance to dance with you once, you know,” Chloe purred, her arms around his neck, the water splashing their bodies.

“Yeah?” he raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t remember.

“Yeah, at a bar. But that was a long time ago,” she waved off.

“Hmm, wonder why I can’t remember. I would definitely remember you,” he said, going along with her story.

“Well, yes, but I was with someone else back then,” she said.

Under the water, Zach’s hands were too busy that he couldn’t think of an answer.

“Just want to let you know though that I’m really glad you picked me first tonight,” she giggled.

In the darkness, Zach cringed. He didn’t like women who giggle. Never liked it.

“Hey, we’re freezing out here, Zach!” Amanda shouted not too far away.

Zach laughed and leaned closer to whisper into Chloe’s ear. “I guess we’ll have to postpone this little thing we have going on. The other ladies might not like it,” he winked at her and pushed away. As he did so, was sure he heard her moan in protest. He ignored it and swam his way towards the other ladies.

It was much, much later, when all the cameras were out and left them free for a while, that Zach finally decided to go to his own cabin, just near the one the ladies were staying at to have a rest. There were a lot of protests coming from them when he playfully ran away, leaving them—in their bikinis—cold in the ocean.

He intentionally chose to be separated from the girls and it was a good thing a little cabin was built by his father a long time ago. They used it for themselves when they had guests coming over and if they wanted no part of the clamor. And now, he was using it to have a little separation from the noise called ladies.

After taking a warm shower, he wrapped a white towel around his hips, turned on the television, and made a drink for himself.

Brent had told him the only live thing they broadcasted was the rose ceremony and that there would be a replay tonight and he would want to see it for a little tiny reason: Julianne.

He wanted to see her face once more when she heard her name called out. He was grinning stupidly when his door suddenly burst open and there, standing, framed in the doorway, was the angry tiger with her amazing brown waves blown by the ocean wind, looking at him like he was the worst person in the world.

“Jules!” his smile died down a little bit. And funny, he felt a little nervous just then—and conscious? Given that he was half naked, and that there was a woman in the room, any guy was entitled to feel that. But he—Zachary Astor—was not supposed to feel that way. But with Julianne present, he felt it for the first time. One reason was that she didn’t look like she cared he was only clothed with a piece of towel around his hips. The other reason was that she looked so darn beautiful—even when angry—and he would love to jump right at her.

He decided against that last part because he was sure she would kill him if he ever did that.

“You lied to me,” she said through clenched teeth. “You told me you’d let me go home!”

Okay, it was time to defend himself. “No, I didn’t. And if I said so, you shouldn’t have accepted the rose then if you are too eager to leave, right?”

“That’s because I can’t!” she shouted, closing her eyes in the process. God, he really hated her glasses. He couldn’t point out for certain how long her lashes were with those thick rims.

“What do you mean? I don’t really get it. I know you ladies can decline a rose. I read it in the contract.” He looked confused now.

“I signed a different contract, you moron. Do you really think I spent my useless hours lining up to be here? No, I was aiming for a job!”

Uh, this was really going on a route beyond his understanding. “What? I don’t really understand.”

“Forget it,” she cried, closing her eyes, her hands on her hips. She breathed deeply, and then let it out. Her brown eyes opened with the same fire in them—not the fire he wanted to see though. “Why did you give me a rose? Were you trying to be funny or provocative?”

Zach knew his answer should be safe if he wanted to tame the woman down. “No, I wasn’t. I actually, honestly like you.”

She scoffed loudly. “You like me. Well, get this,” she walked towards him and he took a step back. Why did he take a step back? He should have met her halfway. “I don’t like to be here and I very well don’t accept that you like me and I will never get to like you if that is your goal here!”

If he was not seeing her face right now, and if she was someone else, he would immediately think she just said that to challenge him and to make him want her even more. But it was the first time—the first time—that he honestly learned and believed that there was still a woman alive—apart from those he left crying—who didn’t like him at all. It was clear on the look on her face, on her pursed lips and her fired-up eyes.

He was speechless. “You don’t like me?”

“What a stupid question,” she said with enough sarcasm. “So you better not remember my name the next rose ceremony, Astor!”

He decided to take a different approach. “But your name’s already running around my head, Jules. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”

“Don’t call me Jules!”

“I can call you whatever the way I want.” He looked at her and sighed. “Okay, can you calm down just a little bit? Tell me why in the hell you are here if you don’t really want to be here?”

She was silent for a moment, her face thinking. “I applied for a job but ended being the proxy for the lady who backed out. Get it?”

“Ah, now you’re talking.”

“And tomorrow, I will be attending a very important event in my writing career and you’ve ruined it!”

“Wait, wait, stop right there.” He raised his hands and took another step back. “You were desperate enough to be here just to get a job but now you’re telling me you have another place to go to concerning your writing career.” He frowned down at her. “I don’t get it. You already have a writing career and you still applied for a job.”

She blew out an exasperated breath and said, “The job I applied for is supposed to be for research. An important research.”

“For what?”

“For my next work—” she held up her hand and said, “Just forget it. I don’t need to explain to you. Just remember, I don’t want a rose the next ceremony, are we clear?”

“Where are you going tomorrow anyway?”

“Chicago, and now I can’t go because you failed to fulfill your promise, you lying…uggh! Just…uggh!” she whirled around in frustration and he grinned. It was fun to watch her doing that.

Disappointment washed over him when he saw her walked towards the door.

“Just remember what I said this time, Bachelor!” she shouted before banging the door behind her.

Zach was still looking with awe at the door, a smile pasted on his lips. She was really disappointed and angry to have received a rose.

It’s time to make it up to her because he couldn’t just let her go just yet when the fun was just starting.

 *****

Julianne returned to her room which she now shared with Pauline silently.

“Where have you been?”

“Chasing away the devil,” she answered.

Pauline laughed. “You’re really weird, you know that?” She was brushing her blonde hair, sitting cross-legged on the bed. She looked up and pointed with her finger, “Look up there, there’s a camera,” she whispered at Julianne.

Startled, she looked up and there, at the corner of the room was a camera pointing at them. “I didn’t know we’re in Big Brother,” she muttered.

“I remembered it was in the contract though. It said we won’t have that much privacy.”

“The bathroom’s safe, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Yes, I checked. No cameras.”

“Good,” she sighed and dropped on her bed.

“Are you feeling better now?” Pauline asked with concern.

Julianne smiled. At least she was lucky to find someone who was actually nice to her. “Yes, I guess so.”

“Tomorrow’s a big day,” Pauline piped in. “Brent said Zach will choose some of the ladies to take on a date.”

“Yeah, fun,” she answered dryly.

“Wonder where he’ll take his dates. I really wish he’ll take me.”

“He probably will. You’re beautiful and nice. He’ll take a liking on you,” she said with eyes closed.

“That’s nice of you,” Pauline giggled.

She did not answer and pretended to be asleep. Hell, she could pretend to be asleep for days until the next rose ceremony if she could.

 *****

The next morning, Julianne was forced to go down and eat breakfast with the ladies. She was not able to eat something last night and she was famished. The best thing about the place was that the kitchen was completely stocked. And there were a lot of meat.

Her mouth was already watering while she waited for her steak to be edible enough.

“You’re really eating that?” Hanna, the blonde girl, asked her.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It’s gonna make you bloat. And bloated is not good here. We’re on an island.”

Julianne stared at her through her thick spectacles. Hanna, among the other ladies, was in her bikini top and short shorts.

“That’s fine with me,” she answered. She was wearing one of her white shirts so that was not really a problem.

“Eew,” Chloe muttered when she passed by and saw what she had on the pan.

“Gag,” Hanna said and joined her friend at the table with her salad.

Julianne didn’t like too much green on her food. “Food for cows…” Julianne silently commented as she turned her steak over.

 *****

“Hey, ladies,” Zach announced his arrival with a big smile. He was wearing a white shirt, dark pants, and a pair of sunglasses.

The ladies stopped whatever they were doing and beamed at him. Julianne completely ignored him and focused on her steak which at that moment tasted like it was the most luscious thing she had ever eaten.

“I have a little surprise for you today,” he announced.

“Ooh?” the ladies said.

“I’m gonna take two of you shopping.”

There was, as usual, a big uproar from the ladies.

“And to make things fair, I used a little fishbowl technique to choose who among you I’m going to take.” He looked at the women playfully. “Want to know now or do you want me to wait after you’re done with breakfast?”

“Now!” Chloe almost shouted.

“Okay, then, Pauline and Julianne, better get ready,” he said with a chuckle. He announced the names without the drum roll effect and everyone was stunned.

Julianne closed her eyes and bent her head on her steak when the names finally registered in her brain.

“Oh my God!” Pauline gasped beside her. “Julianne! We’re gonna go shopping!” The other ladies were still too shocked from his sudden announcement of the names to even utter a word.

“I’d rather not—” she started.

“Get ready, the boat is waiting and the plane’s fueled,” Zach cut in.

“Where are we going?” Pauline asked excitedly.

Julianne couldn’t help it so she looked up and saw that he was grinning, his eyes on her.

“Chicago,” he answered.

Chapter 5

Pauline appeared to be a bit disappointed.

“Chicago? Like I haven’t been there? I thought we were going to Vegas or something,” she grumbled on. They were in their room, getting ready for the trip. “You sure you’re going like that?”

“Yes,” she answered with a nod. She was busy frowning down her computer in her baggy white shirt and shorts. Lucky she brought her own boots.

“But I’m excited anyway,” Pauline continued on. “I want to buy some new stuff to wear in the island.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded absently. She would not go shopping. She was going elsewhere to do more important things.

When she heard Zach utter the word Chicago, she almost jumped with joy. The man was not heartless after all, she thought. But she couldn’t forgive him just yet. She was supposed to be in Chicago by now and not some unknown, freaking island!

 *****

One thing she noticed: Brent was not always around. It only occurred to her that the host was only obliged to talk to them during the rose ceremony. Now that she thought of it, she remembered seeing one episode of the show and the host was always having those single shots doing a narrative. And she was thankful for that. Brent’s presence reminded her of the cameras and how she should watch her movements.

“Hey,” Zach was already outside waiting for them dressed in a casual attire of jeans, shirt and his sunglasses. His hair was combed up and away from his face but a few strands were dangling on his forehead. Julianne had to admit that he was a pretty sight.

Julianne’s eyes squinted. Not against the sun but against the blasted stingy reflections coming from the camera tagging along with them.

From a distance, she saw Jack Carter talking to some of his crew and she guessed he was not coming. That’s good. She could murder the dude.

“Hello!” Pauline, being her jolly self, greeted Zach.

“Hey, Jules!” Zach waved at her. Was he serious? Really? Waving was for some teenagers who went on first dates. Did he mean anything by that stupid motion of his hands?

She just nodded and walked towards where the yacht was docked saying, “It’s getting hot.”

“Excited?” she heard him ask Pauline behind her.

“Yes, of course,” her new friend answered.

Good thing they were not alone.

But he just wouldn’t let her be by herself. He just couldn’t help it, could he? “So, Jules,” he said, chasing after her, leaving behind the struggling Pauline who seemed to have some problems with her heels.

“What?” she asked snidely without looking at him.

“You happy we’re going to Chicago?” his white smile was a contrast to the dashing sunglasses he was wearing.

“Yeah, I’m jumping with joy,” and if there was anything dryer than her tone, it was the sand beneath them.

“Look,” he said in a low voice, “I’m sorry if you thought I broke a promise, but I don’t really recall making one.”

“Forget it, Astor. Just remember what I said last night,” she retorted sharply. He was right after all and she was actually angrier to herself than him. She was foolish and giddy to have concluded that he said yes.

“Now let me tell you honestly that I can’t promise to let you go next ceremony,” he stressed out.

She froze. “Why?” she demanded.

“Because I like you,” he said with a shrug.

“You don’t even know me.”

“And that’s why I don’t think I want you to go yet. I wanna know you better,” he beamed.

“Well I don’t.” With that, she continued to walk, this time in quicker strides, but he was faster and it seemed not a very hard task for him.

“Why are you so eager to go? Any woman would not pass up the chance.”

“I told you I don’t want anything to do with this show and I told you I have things to do which are more important.”

“Like book signing?”

“Yes,” she retorted.

“How many book signings are there?”

Actually, there were only three. And honestly, the second one was scheduled a month from now. But there was no way she was telling him that. “Why? You’re going to take me to each one of them?”

“If that’s all it takes,” he practically pressed down his head so she could see that boyish grin of his that had been itching at her nerves.

“I’m not really willing to play this game you have going on, so, just leave me alone.” It was a good thing they had already reached the dock and she climbed as fast as she could towards the yacht without taking the help from one of the men already waiting for them.

“Zach seems to really like you,” Pauline pointed out later when he left to get some drinks.

“He’s just being friendly,” she said under her breath.

“Nah, he likes you,” Pauline said with a smile. She wondered why the woman was not glaring at her at all. If it were the other girls, they would now be throwing her in the ocean and wishing for piranhas as they did so.

“You don’t look so stricken about it,” she couldn’t help but say.

“It’s not like I own him or anything, right? I know what I got myself into when I lined up for the show,” Pauline shrugged.

She quietly applauded her friend. Really, it seemed that Pauline was the only sensible person among the other ladies they left behind.

They still had about thirty minutes until they reached land and Julianne began to work on her computer. Zach came back with a bottle of champagne.

“So, you guys ready for the shopping spree?” he asked. He looked at Julianne and added, “Where do you want to go, Jules?”

“Specifically?” she asked.

He nodded. Pauline looked confused.

She hesitated a moment, knowing her friend would have a shock if she found out she’d be going to Chicago for work. “The Book Table, Lake Street, Oak Park.”

“Oh! I wanna go to Sabon! They have really good salt scrubs there and I might just need it in the island!” Pauline squealed with delight. It’s a good thing she did not question her choice of shopping.

“Well then, Sabon it is,” Zach winked at her.

Julianne couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

 *****

Zach chose to spend most of his time with Pauline during their time at the yacht and the plane. Because he would spend most of his time with Julianne by the time they reached Chicago.

They landed at O’hare International Airport just before lunch. A limo was already waiting for them and it took just about twenty-three minutes to arrive at Merlo Restorante where they had lunch. Zach tried to be patient with Julianne the whole journey. She was too attached to wherever her mind was going and it appeared like she didn’t have company. Yes, she rode with them in the limo but her eyes were too busy looking outside the window and even when they were eating, she was scanning the menu, reading almost everything written on it.

For the first time in his life, Zachary felt like a loser. True, Pauline was paying him too much attention, but he didn’t want her attention. He wanted the attention of the woman wearing the baggiest shirt he had ever seen and those blasted eyeglasses. If he asked them a question, Pauline would give him about a thousand words worth of answer, but Julianne contented herself by answering with a nod or a shrug, and if he was lucky, she would utter a yes or a no. So much for a writer, he often grumbled inside his head.

After lunch, they drove to Washington Street in less than fifteen minutes.

“I think we might have a problem,” he uttered, breaking Pauline’s narrative about her high school life. He saw Julianne stiffen from the corner of his eye. “You both want to go to two different places and we won’t have enough time to actually go together. So—”

“Oh, you can just drop me off at Sabon and you and Julianne can go ahead. We’ll meet at some point,” Pauline offered the most splendid solution and he had the urge to give the woman a grateful hug and maybe a kiss.

“That’s solved then,” he said with contentment, his face lighting up with laughter.

“No, I think it would be better if—”

“Julianne, no arguments,” Pauline said, holding her hand. “I’ve noticed you and Zach haven’t really had moments together at the yacht and at the plane so it’s only fair that you get to know each other. Anyways, I won’t take that long at Sabon and I’ll just follow where you two are after. Where are you going again?”

“I’ll have the driver get you,” Zach offered when Julianne hesitated.

“Well, that’s settled then!” Pauline said with delight.

“What do you think, Jules? Is it fine with you?” he asked.

He saw her look at the camera, hesitated, and said, “I guess.”

He almost jumped with joy because that was the longest sentence she had ever addressed towards him since their talk at the island. All these sensations he had was all new to him and they were all because of one lady who he would have possibly just ignored if he ever met her in the streets before the show happened. He had been wondering all night long why, of all women, he found himself fond and attracted to Julianne.

The car parked outside Sabon and Pauline jumped out, giving them a good luck flying kiss. Zach looked across at Julianne and smiled. “Happy?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she murmured, the back of her fingers against her lips, her eyes looking outside the window as the car started down the road once again.

“What?” he pretended not to hear and leaned over.

“I said, I don’t want to talk to you,” she repeated louder.

“What? I can’t hear,” he kept up with his pretense. He surprised her by playfully jumping over beside her. She immediately scooted away and he immediately followed, joining them hip to hip.

“What—” she snapped her head towards him and he smacked his lips against hers, taking her by surprise. “What do you think are you doing?” she gasped.

“Acting on my desires,” he beamed at her boyishly.

She pushed him none too gently and he laughed. “Get away from me.”

“Okay, okay,” he said with a chuckle. “So, I guess I’ll know your pen name after all,” he said, changing the subject.

 *****

Julianne was still not fully recovered from the shock of his kiss when his statement froze her. Today was supposed to be the first time her readers would get to see her face. And today would also be the first time that someone else—other than Diane—would get the chance to know both her names.

But it didn’t matter. She didn’t care. She just wanted to go to the book signing as she promised her fans. She would do it and she wouldn’t let anyone like Zachary Astor ruin this day.

“Can I ask a question?” he asked.

As much as she wanted to say no, she knew he would go ahead with it anyway so she kept quiet.

“Why do you hate me?”

His question startled her. “I don’t hate you, I just don’t like you.”

“Okay…I don’t think I like that answer either,” he uttered and she almost smiled. Almost. “And why don’t you like me?”

“Do I need to give you the answer to that?” she asked.

“Come on, you hate me because I picked you? Am I not forgiven yet? I’m taking you to your book signing,” he said with a childish tone.

What’s wrong with this guy?

“But I’m still here, aren’t I?” she asked.

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal,” he said, clasping his hands together.

“What deal?”

“Since I’m not yet ready to let you go--no, listen first,” he said hastily when she opened her mouth in protest, “I’ll make a proposition for you. You stay in the island and you can do anything you want and I’ll take you to every damn book signing you want.”

“You’ll leave me alone?”

She looked at him as he thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think I can do that.”

“Just as I thought,” she sighed, leaning against the backseat. “But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to keep me? I am sure not your type—”

“How can you say that? Of course you’re my type.”

“No, I’m not,” she insisted.

“Well, yes, usually you are not my type but now you are. I’m fond of you and I find you beautiful.”

Julianne’s mouth fell open with his tactfulness. “You’re making fun of me, I know it.”

“What? Of course not!” he objected, sounding like a three-year-old.

“Of course not,” she mocked, looking out the window. “We’re here.”

“That’s a shame,” he murmured behind her as they climbed down the car.

 *****

Zach was literally shocked when he saw the number of people lining up outside the store. There could probably be close to a hundred.

She is going to sign one hundred books?

Who is this woman?

His question was answered by the big tarpaulin standing beside the entrance of The Book Table. His eyes widened in shock.

He chased after Julianne who was already about five meters away from him. “You’re J. Green?” He asked. He realized he should have lowered his voice because a sudden cry rang out from the frontlines.

“J. Green? Oh my God! That’s J. Green!” a teenage girl shouted.

“Can’t you keep your mouth shut just even for a second?” Julianne hissed up at him. The crowd started to get uncontrollable now and some guys from the bookstore had to help them get through.

“You’re J. Green?” he asked once again the moment they were safely inside the bookstore.

She was not able to answer because a black-haired woman who was about thirty with really good curves was approaching them with a smile. “Julianne! Oh, thank God you came! I thought we have to cancel the event and—” she stopped when she spotted him. “Zachary Astor?” she asked with awe, and then her eyes went back to Julianne who was looking kind of uncomfortable. “I thought you are going to get yourself out of that competition?”

Zachary was confused. Doesn’t this woman watch the television?

“You mean you don’t know?” Julianne asked aloud.

“Know what? That you’re still in that show? No, I did not bother to watch that—sorry for the word,” she said to Zach, “that stupid show,” she finished.

Zach just shrugged. He wouldn’t like the show himself and if not for the bet, he wouldn’t dare enter.

“Well, now you know that I’m still in it,” Julianne then threw him a stingy look, “thanks to him.”

“Hey,” he threw his hands up.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Diane said. “Right now, you have to get behind that table and start signing. Those poor people have been here for hours waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Julianne said and followed her friend.

Zach felt lost. He didn’t know what to do. Hell, he was still in shock that he was dating—if you would call it that—J. Green, the author of the suspense novel Broken Bones that stormed not just the entire New York City, but twenty other countries. And hell again, he read the book as well. And hell once more, almost everyone read it!

The book was about the three teenage high school students who discovered the remains of a dead body during summer camp. Wondering why the story was read by almost everyone and not just the teenagers? Because the story progressed to reveal an exciting government conspiracy, revealing in the middle of the book that the body belonged to the present president of the USA who was in fact an impostor. That was why the book was such a hit. It did not only interest the teens, but all kinds of readers as well. It was like Harry Potter all over again—minus the magic parts of course.

Zach stared as the bookstore finally opened its doors to let people in. There were reporters and cameras as well, but Julianne seemed unperturbed by the awe and attention she was getting from her fans. For the first time ever, Zach was stirred and amazed by a woman, not just because of her beauty but because of what she had made herself to be. And she didn’t care that she was famous at all and he, for one, could attest that this was no feigned humility.

“Ms. Green, can you tell us how you came up with the story?” a petite woman asked, holding a recorder before her.

“It just popped out, I guess. No special phenomenal stuff happened.” Julianne answered calmly. Zach saw that unlike in the island, with all the cameras and lights, she was not at all uncomfortable. Even with her baggy shirt and her messy hair—which for him was perfect—she didn’t mind nor she made any movement that indicated she was conscious with how she looked. She completely, utterly, didn’t care.

There were more questions about her upcoming books which she didn’t share, and then, the book signing began.

As he looked at Julianne, sitting there, signing books with her awesome smile, Zach felt disturbed. Disturbed because the woman was getting into him in a different way and he was not sure if he knew how to handle that. He was finding it difficult as it was already.

Earlier in the car, he himself was surprised that he kissed her out of nowhere just like that. The action came before the thought even crossed his mind. With Julianne, he could do crazy and childish things he never imagined he could.

He looked at her eyes—behind those blasted eyeglasses—and her hair that naturally suited her. He looked at her smile and her hands as she scribbled her signature on that book she was holding right now. He looked at Julianne and something inside him--and he was pretty sure it was right at his chest--skipped or leaped or stopped.

He couldn’t recognize it, but it was a very new sensation.

“Oh, shit,” he cursed under his breath. I’m going crazy.

Chapter 6

As he’d thought, this was all new to him. This feeling of breathless anticipation every time Julianne looked up and he was hoping she would glance at him. He felt like a complete idiot just standing there doing nothing like a schoolboy staring at his teacher. Damn, he never even felt that stupid thing when he was young. And damn again, he honestly didn’t know what he should call it.

She is definitely staying, he thought with so much conviction. Yep, she’s staying.

He received a call from the driver that Pauline was done at Sabon and that she was on her way to The Book Table.

“No, no,” he said hastily. “Uh, take her to…” he thought for a moment and finally said, “900 North Michigan. Tell her to pick anything she likes. We’ll be there shortly.”

As he brought his phone back in his pocket, he stared ahead and realized Julianne was looking at him, question in her eyes. Just the thought that she was actually looking at him made him smile like a total idiot that he was. Then, before she could return her attention back to the book in her hand, he tapped his watch with his finger, indicating that she had to hurry.

 *****

Julianne just nodded and went back to work. The hell with the man. This was her day to return a little favor to her fans for all the support that they had given despite her secrecy regarding her real identity.

She was not at all unaware that he had been looking at her in a weird way since they entered the bookstore. And she didn’t know if it was supposed to be a good sign or a bad one. Anyway, she was busy to think about that for now.

She continued on with her signing. Diane was sitting behind her along with some other people.

“Looks like you have to leave,” Diane whispered beside her ear.

“What?” she asked, handing a book back with a smile to a bubbly teenager.

“Your date is getting restless,” her friend said.

“Let him be,” she almost hissed. “Hi, what’s your name?”

A teenage boy with glasses said, “Andrew.”

“Okay, Andrew, how old are you?” she asked as she signed the book.

“Thirteen,” he smiled.

“Here you go, thank you very much,” she said.

“That’s cool. You’re cool,” he said shyly and walked off.

“He’s staring at you like he’s going to eat you or something,” Diane uttered.

“He’s a jerk,” she answered, smiling up once again at an older lady who was holding two copies of the book.

“For my niece,” she answered. “And this one is mine.”

“Cool! What’s your niece’s name?” she asked, completely ignoring everything else.

 *****

It was almost two hours when Julianne finally stood up. Zach transferred his weight from one foot to the other as she spent another five minutes talking to her friend and to some people who stayed behind. This was the longest time he ever spent waiting for a girl.

“Can we go now?” he asked when she started walking towards him.

“Yes,” she answered without a smile.

Whatever happened to that pretty smile?

“That’s good. Pauline’s waiting for us at 900 North Michigan.”

“Sure,” she answered, looked back at her friend and waved, and then they were off.

In just about five minutes, they reached the big shopping mall.

“I’ll go find some café and you go to Pauline,” Julianne told him as they entered the big entrance.

“Jules,” he complained. “I’ve been waiting for like three hours back there and we haven’t really spent that much time together.” He was getting desperate—if that was the right word.

She looked up at him with that strange look of hers that he was not yet able to decipher the meaning of. “Okay, since you were kind enough to take me to Chicago and waited for hours while I worked,” she finally uttered.

“The best decision you’ve ever made, Jules,” he beamed at her and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go,” he said excitedly. He felt jittery and giddy. And again, it was the first time.

“Let go of my hand, Zachary,” she ordered.

“Why?”

“Because I am not used to people holding my hand,” she replied seriously, pulling at her hand.

“Why?” She gave him a look and he immediately let her go. “Okay, but you promise not to complain any further,” he negotiated.

“Whatever,” she said, walking beside him.

He shrugged. At least she was walking beside him and not ahead of him.

“You’re the J. Green, wow, that’s awesome,” he said moments later.

“You know me? I mean, you know J. Green?”

“Of course? Who doesn’t?”

“A lot of people,” she concluded.

“A lot? Okay,” he turned his head to his right and saw a lady in a pink dress, “Excuse me miss,” he said with a smile, stopping the lady with all her Gucci bags.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?” Julianne hissed beside him.

He ignored her and said to the lady, “Can I ask a really fast question?”

“Yes, of course,” the lady said, smiling at him.

“Do you know J. Green?”

“The author?”

Zach chuckled and looked at her. “See? Thank you, miss,” he added to the lady and then walked off. “Do you want me to ask someone else? An old man perhaps?”

“My God, no,” she uttered beside him. “Okay, so a lot of people know who I am—”

“Not a lot, Jules, almost all. You’re like the next Dan Brown!”

“Wait, you read my book?”

“Of course,” he said proudly.

“You read?”

He tried to look hurt but he was not sure if he was able to pull it off. “Yes, of course. You hurt my feelings right there, Jules.”

“Stop calling me Jules,” she said strongly.

“I like calling you Jules. Hey, wait, here’s Gucci,” he said before she could say something like, “I’ll go away if you call me Jules one more time.”

“I’m not going to that store,” she said when he started to walk towards the entrance.

“Come on, we’ll just look around.”

Well, he was lying when he said that because he ended up buying her a pair of high-heeled shoes much to her annoyance. It was a good thing though that she considered the people in the store and didn’t make a lot of dispute aside from her constant favorite word which was no.

“No, I don’t think I like that store,” she said when he pointed at Prada.

“Come on, I’m going to buy Pauline something,” he said, grabbing her by the hand.

And once again, he was lying when he said that because by the time they exited the shop, he was holding three bags full of dresses he picked for her. Of course she didn’t comply to fit them but that was no problem because he had expert eyes and he knew her size.

“You better take me to Pauline now,” she insisted with warning in her eyes.

He knew he couldn’t fool her into going to Bloomingdales. “Okay,” he said resignedly.

He took his phone and dialed a number and called the camera man that was tailing Pauline. “Okay, tell her we’re on our way.”

“Where is she?” Jules asked.

“King Café,” he answered when an idea struck him. “Why don’t you take these,” he handed her the bags, “and you go meet Pauline. I will be there in a flash. I just need to get something,” he did not give her time to answer and left, knowing full well where he was going.

 *****

Julianne made her way to King Café grumpily. If it were not for waste of money, she would throw away all the bags she was carrying.

I can run away, she thought. There was no camera following her and no one around knew she was one of those ladies in line for a freaking white rose that was considered special by most women who wanted a taste of their own bachelor.

But then, the stupid contract she signed stopped her and returned her to her sane thoughts. She had to handle Zachary Astor well if she wanted to get out of the show soon.

The weight of the bags she was carrying made her think she was not doing so well at the moment though.

She found Pauline seated inside the café with a decaffeinated drink, the camera guy standing nearby doing nothing. When her friend saw her, she received a welcoming smile.

“So, how was it?” Pauline asked her.

“Great,” she uttered, sitting right next to her friend.

“I see you bought stuff,” Pauline said, looking at the bags she dropped on the floor next to the table.

“He insisted.”

“Looks like I overdid my shopping though,” Pauline said, cringing.

Julianne looked behind their chairs and saw almost a dozen shopping bags. It took almost all of her willpower not to bulge her eyes.

“I took advantage,” Pauline winked. “He paid for everything and I just couldn’t help myself.”

Julianne smiled and kept silent.

“Where else did you go?” her friend asked excitedly.

“Oh, anywhere,” she answered, waving her hand. “What’s the best coffee here?” she asked, changing the subject.

“This one is the only one I know you shouldn’t order,” Pauline grimaced, adding, “Where’s Zach?”

“He took off, said he’s going to get something.”

“Ah, I see,” Pauline nodded and pushed her cup away from her. “I think I’m going to order a sweeter one.”

 *****

Zach was smiling with contentment as he made his way back to the ladies who were already halfway through their coffees. They spent another thirty minutes inside until they were reminded that they had to go back to the island before the sun came down.

Though Julianne never uttered another word towards him, he was sure she was somehow mellowing down. After all, she got what she wanted.

A lot of times, when he was talking to Pauline during their ride in the plane and at the yacht, he wanted to burst out about Julianne’s real identity as J. Green. Actually, he desperately wanted to brag about it. But he knew she would make a bonfire and burn him in the stakes if he did that. So, like her, he chose to be quiet about it. He would never wish to ruin her trust if that was all it would take for her to appreciate him.

When they arrived back in the island, the girls were having some fun in the beach.

“Do I need to join them?” he asked Jack Carter, feeling tired and exhausted.

“No, it’s cool. You can join them anytime you like. There’s no date scheduled until the next day after tomorrow anyway.”

“Good,” he answered, his eyes travelling meters ahead. “Hey, Jules!”

Julianne looked back with a frown. “What?”

“Good night!” he chuckled when she swiftly turned around and continued walking behind Pauline.

 *****

That night, Julianne was urged by Pauline to join the other girls for some games they had going on down stairs. Considering Pauline’s behavior towards her all these time, she went to show she was not a total spoiler. But by the time they got downstairs, she almost wanted to dash back. Everyone—yes, everyone including her friend—was wearing close to nothing.

“You can’t join the game if you’re wearing that, Julianne,” Chloe said pointedly.

Julianne looked at Pauline and her friend mouthed, “Please…”

“Fine,” she sighed and went back upstairs.

Good thing? Zach took the honor of sneaking three pairs of bikinis into the shopping bags. She originally thought of dumping them under her bed, planning to leave them behind when it was time for her to get out of the show, but Pauline was too excited earlier so she attacked them, causing a mess on her bed.

Julianne did not think twice when she snatched a blood red bikini top and put it on. Her cheeks flushed when they perfectly fitted her. Zachary Astor knew her size, that idiot!

“Hey, Julianne! Let’s go!” Pauline rammed on the door.

“Coming!” she answered and opened it.

“Wow, you look gorgeous, girl!” Pauline cried out, looking at her outfit. Of course she wore the same shorts she was wearing earlier.

“Thanks,” she murmured, closing the door. “Pauline, I don’t think I will know how to play this game…”

“Well, me either! But that’s the fun part, right? Come on!” Pauline tugged at her hand and led her back downstairs.

The other ladies did not comment when they joined the big circle.

“Okay, so here’s the rule…”Chloe said, holding a deck of cards and looking at the ladies with her gray eyes. “I will give each of us a card, face down of course so that we will not know what card we have. And then, together, we will stick the cards on our foreheads so that the front part faces everyone like this,” she explained, picking an Ace and sticking it on her forehead.

“So you mean everyone else will get to see what I have on my forehead but I won’t have any idea what it is,” Hanna concluded.

“Exactly.”

“We will try to guess what card we have on our forehead?” Amanda asked.

“No,” Chloe shook her head. “The one with the lowest card will be the loser with Ace as the lowest, King as the highest. Clover as the lowest and Diamond as the highest in case there will be a tie.”

“So, if I got like an Ace on my forehead and the rest of you got like two and up, I will be the loser?” asked Tanya.

“Exactly. But if there will be two or more Aces, the symbols will help us decide. Just bear in mind that Clover is the lowest, followed by Spade, Heart and then Diamond.”

“But I don’t see the fun in that.”

“I haven’t reached the fun part yet,” Chloe said, rolling her eyes. “Okay, so now that’s settled, here are some few additional rules.” She started to count with her fingers as she said, “You can try to convince some of the players to change their cards. You can use it as a bluff or you can genuinely tell them they’re losing. Second, you can decide to change your card only once without looking at it. Really, ladies, it’s just a game of guessing and it’s like poker. You have to really read your opponents’ faces every time they look at your card. And finally, to the loser, a shot of tequila!” she squealed the last sentence, holding up a bottle of Patron.

Julianne was starting to get uncomfortable. Not that she didn’t drink but she had enough experiences with drunken women that she didn’t want to have another.

But the game started anyway and she found herself enjoying it. She got a two once and she lost. She drank the tequila with the ladies shouting her name. But when the game started to be forgotten as the ladies concentrated more on drinking, Julianne slowly distanced herself, making sure no one paid her notice. She did not leave, but she chose to be on the sideline.

As the ladies’ laughter and giggles danced around the room, and as the time flew by, Julianne was able to come up with some kind of cluster for the girls.

There were the Bitches namely Chloe, Hanna and Vivienne—well, just one look at them would tell you why. Then there were the Nice Girls which were Brenda and Pauline and they always made her feel welcome without any hint of indifference. The Dumb Pair were named Karen and Jill since everything that came out of their mouths was all straight out of the point. There were the Desperadas composed of Stella, Sally, Amanda, and Jenny. Julianne just knew by the look they had been throwing at Zachary every time he was near. Then, finally, there were the Romantics named Kim, Penny, and Tanya who believed that they were here to find love and they were not joking every time they said it.

When finally one of them gagged and ran towards the kitchen to throw up, Julianne decided to go out. She didn’t want to be around whenever things get dirty. Throwing up was contagious during moments like these and she didn’t want to be the one doing the cleaning.

She didn’t dare go to the beach where the water was most probably cold. And she didn’t go near Zachary’s cabin as well for he might be awake and she didn’t want to face him at this time. So, without other options, she strolled along the side of the cabin. The wind was not that chilly but she was still regretting ever putting on the bikini top or not grabbing a shawl. For the first time then, she wondered where they were exactly. Considering the short travels they had coming here, it was possible they were not out of the country. Well, she would never really know the answer to that since it was obvious that the Astor family treasured their privacy a lot.

By the time she reached the side of the house, she found a big tree a few meters away. Aside from the muffled laughter coming from inside the cabin, she could only hear the waves and the crickets. There was no sign that any crew member was still up and running around. They were probably asleep inside their big trailers near the docking site.

Julianne relished the solidarity and the peacefulness. Slowly, she made her way to the tree and after making sure that there were no snake holes of some kind, she sat on one big root that had crept up the ground through the years and leaned her back against the trunk, watching the waves as they danced in the moonlight.

“I knew it was you,” that low boyish voice said above her and her head snapped.

She found, much to her disappointment, the grinning face of Zachary Astor in his white shirt and bohemian shorts.

The look he was giving her gave her the impression that she better get up and run like hell.

Chapter 7

“What are you doing here?” she asked, adjusting her glasses.

“I was in my balcony when I saw you walking out the cabin,” he smiled and dropped down on the sand beside her. “Sounds like you guys were having fun,” he smiled sheepishly.

“It wasn’t fun,” she uttered, her head aching from all the alcohol. “I have to go,” she started to get up but his hands stopped her.

“Jules, come on, why don’t we talk? It’s a nice evening and I want to spend it with you,” he smiled at her.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, pulling her hand away from him. “And stop calling me Jules.” She didn’t know why she kept telling him that. Diane called her Jules all the time, but hearing Zach say the name was just weird.

“Come on,” he urged.

“I’m tired,” her voice sounding desperate, and she wanted to get away from him. His stare was scaring the hell out of her.

“Jules, please?” he batted his eyes at her.

“What are you? Twelve? Batting your eyes looks scary, you know that?” she said with etch of irritation.

“Five minutes, just spend it with me.”

She motioned her head towards their cabin, “There are women in there who will be happy to entertain you. I’m not in the mood for that.”

“But I want to spend this evening with you,” he pouted.

“What are you—” she gaped. “Pouting your mouth is even scarier, stop that!”

“I’m trying to be cute,” he chuckled, his face now back to its natural look.

“You’re not,” she shook her head.

“Yeah, I guess it’s not working,” he muttered. “Five minutes,” he said with a smile.

Julianne looked at him and sighed. “Five minutes,” she said and leaned back against the trunk.

“Why are you here? Okay, don’t answer that. You’re weird so I guess that answers that.”

“I’m what?”

“Weird,” he said, nodding his head. “Yeah, I find you weird. You are always alone and you don’t find me irresistible like all of them, so you’re weird.”

Julianne scoffed. “You’re impossible.”

“I just don’t get it why you keep pushing me away, you know. You should give me a chance though,” he turned his head to look at her reaction.

Julianne was not used being studied that way. She didn’t like eyes scanning her face. She was used to being ignored and put aside. But Zachary Astor was giving her too much attention since the moment they met. “I’m not giving anyone a chance where this show is concerned,” she uttered.

“But what if we met outside the show? Will you still be like this?”

“Yes,” she answered too quickly even for her to believe.

“You still don’t believe I like you?”

“Definitely,” she nodded. She knew this was all just a game for him. He found her challenging and intriguing and he wanted to prove to himself that he could make her give in to his so-called charms.

“But I don’t like you anymore,” he said in a low voice.

Julianne was startled. “You don’t? Good,” she said with relief.

“I think I’m infatuated with you,” he beamed and his chuckle rang out when her jaw dropped.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” she stood up and he stopped her once again.

“I assume I said the wrong words again?”

“You definitely did. Look, Zachary, I don’t want to be here, you understand? I want to be out of here and start working on the real job Jack Carter promised to give me. I can’t do that if you still want to keep up with this game you’ve set for yourself. Just accept it that there are actually women who can’t be dazzled by your charms.”

He looked confused. “I don’t understand. You think I’m doing this for my ego?”

“Why else?”

“Is being infatuated and insanely charmed by you not enough?”

There was just something about him that made Julianne not believe his words. If she was someone else—like those women getting wasted inside that cabin—she would have been swooned out of her feet. But the thought that she was one of those women who never gets attention from men like Zachary Astor was different. She couldn’t believe his words.

“Why don’t you stop thinking that you’re not worth my attention? I really do like you, you know,” he said with a grin. He looked handsome with that look, she thought. She could admit she liked his grin, but that was all. He was annoying her to her grave with his little game and she was close to her limitations.

“Because I know you are playing a game here, Zachary,” she answered his question.

He scooted to face her and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not playing games where you are concerned,” he said.

That line was just overused for her to believe him. “I don’t believe you. You just lied to me.”

“I’m not lying and I can prove that,” his lips lifted at one corner.

“How?”

She expected him to answer her with words, but she was surprised when he leaned over and planted his lips against hers. Julianne was too stunned to push him away. Her mind was focused at the warmth that flowed over her as his soft lips moved against hers, urging her to return his kiss. His hands were on her shoulders, gently holding her close. It was a patient kiss, and it was gentle. And damn, she liked it. Her hands lifted and rested on his shoulders and he took it as an answer. His arms were suddenly around her, holding her closer, his kiss starting to get urgent.

Julianne knew at that tiny corner of her mind that she had to push him away. But her lips parted and started to kiss him back. Shit, this was not supposed to happen. She had to stop him immediately or she would regret it.

But seconds passed, then a minute, and then another minute.

Nothing else happened, but she was breathless when he finally leaned away an inch and whispered, “I knew you like me too, Jules,” he grinned, his forehead against hers.

Julianne snapped back to her real self—the anti-Zachary self. She pushed him away and stood up. “Don’t do that again,” she said strongly and walked away.

She did not dare look back. She didn’t want to see the look on his face. Surely he was wearing a contented look, knowing he was able to bend her just a little bit. She cursed herself to hell for kissing him back.

 *****

He did not plan that to happen. He honestly didn’t.

Zach sat alone and stunned under the tree. He actually got to make her kiss him back. The smile that crept up his face was undeniably stupid. Yes, he looked stupid.

She kissed me back, he thought with disbelief. Joy rushed through his system.

This was the first time ever that he felt utterly happy after kissing someone. If this was infatuation, let it be. Once again, it was the first time for him. And he liked the feeling. Wonder why he never experienced it before?

All his life, Zachary got what he always wanted. Ever since he was young, he would always get the girl he liked that there was never even time to assess if he had any feelings because they always never gave him time to do that. But right now, he was acting like a total fool for being too happy after kissing someone. It was like time had brought him back twenty years just to give him the chance to experience the things he never went through before. Things like really working hard for a simple, mind-blowing kiss.

She kissed me back, he repeated to himself. He fought the urge to jump and shout. That would be too much even for him. He was not a schoolboy anymore so he would just content himself with the foolish smile on his face.

Finally, he was able to stand up and walk back to his cabin. Tomorrow’s a free day and he would have all the time to plan something out.

 *****

Julianne lay on her bed, the thought of the kiss looming over her like a child’s haunting fears during bedtime. Pauline was somewhere in the cabin, probably asleep in someone else’s bedroom.

She tossed and turned, but sleep was not coming yet. The kiss was different from the one in the car. Yes, of course it was. The first one lasted for a short second. Big difference there, but the second one—well, she had let it drag for quite too long and she…she liked it.

Julianne moaned and closed her eyes. Tomorrow, she was determined to lock herself in her room.

 *****

The next morning, Julianne woke up first. The Desperadas slept in the living room and she had to make her way through them—yes, they were sprawled on the floor—and all the empty bottles of tequila and scattered pieces of chips. Thank goodness there were no gastric contents. That would be utterly gross. The kitchen was a mess and she had to search for almost everything to make her breakfast.

Julianne tried to search for Pauline but her friend was nowhere in sight. After breakfast, at about ten in the morning, the girls were still snoring and would not wake up until late in the afternoon, she thought. She relished on that thought. It would be like she was alone once again. She was working in her room, facing her computer when a knock rattled her door.

She got up, thinking it was Pauline. But when she opened it, she had the sudden will to close it again.

“Hi,” Zach was standing and grinning at her as he usually did. “Care for a walk down the beach?”

“No,” she said dryly and started to push the door close.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he hastily said. “We have a problem.”

“What?” she asked, not caring what it was, thinking it was just one of his tricks to get her out of the room.

“Fatima—you know who she is, right?”

She nodded.

“She tried to check on the girls and found out some of them are missing,” he said with a grimace.

“What?”

“She alerted the crew and some of them checked the videos from last night and discovered that Pauline and Brenda went out by three in the morning and did not come back since.”

Julianne panicked. “Pauline? Are you sure? Did they check every room? They can be somewhere close, right?”

“That’s why I came here,” he said. “We checked every room and I was wondering if you have any idea where they might be.”

“How can I possibly know? I locked myself in this room since—” she did not finish her sentence, remembering what she did last night.

He seemed to have figured out her thoughts though because he smiled meaningfully at her.

“The woods,” she whispered, then her eyes met his in panic. “They could have gone to the woods!”

“That’s what I thought, too,” he nodded. “And that’s why I’m asking you for a walk. Jack had set up teams to search for them and obviously the ladies living here with you are out.”

“Yes, yes, of course, I’ll help,” she said, turning around to get her boots.

“You might want to bring a bag.”

“What? Why?”

“Because it might take us all day,” he said. “This island is large and we only have like five teams to search for the girls. We can’t call someone for help yet because they aren’t gone for—”

“Twenty-four hours, I know,” she cut in, nodding her head. “Okay, tell them to wait for me. I’ll be quick.”

“Them?” he asked.

“The team I’m going with.”

He smiled at her wickedly, “Jules, it will only be you and I. Fatima is going to stay here with the other girls and to be the liaison for every team.”

“But I don’t think—”

“And plus, the other teams are already gone.”

“What?” she asked in disbelief, then she stared at him suspiciously, “You thought about this, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he nodded and grinned. “But if you don’t want to help me find your friend, that’s fine. I know this island by heart and I’m sure I’ll be okay if—”

“I’ll go with you, okay?” she said with frustration. It took her only one minute to pack a set of clothes and grab some food from the kitchen. The other girls were still asleep without any idea what was going on.

“Where do we start?” she asked grudgingly as they walked towards the woods.

“The other teams are covering the south and east part. And since the cabins and the camps are at the west side and we’ve covered that one this morning, we’ll go cover the north,” he said, strapping his bag around his waist.

She looked at his pack and frowned. “You’re expecting that it will take us one whole day to search for them?” she asked.

“Better ready than not,” he said with a wink.

Julianne just rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go and find my friends before you do anything stupid,” she muttered and went ahead of him.

“Don’t stray, Jules. I don’t want to lose you,” he said, running after her.

“I’d rather like it if you get lost,” she whispered under her breath.

 *****

“I don’t think we have to go deeper into the woods,” she told him hours later. They only stopped for an hour to rest and eat their lunch and then they were back on track. Once, they stumbled upon a pair of crewmen but they went on their way with a map after asking if they had any progress.

“Why? Afraid?” Zach chided. He knew he should be concerned for the two ladies who were still missing, but he couldn’t help himself. He was alone with Julianne and though she was here entirely for one reason, which was to find her friends, he was guiltily grateful. Of course he planned for them to be paired up, actually insisted on it, so that he could be with her.

He didn’t want to bug his mind about what this was that he was feeling because he would only try to remind himself that he was here for a bet and he couldn’t throw his words away. He was aware as well that whatever the outcome with Julianne might be, it would still end the same for him. He would still have to go home with no one and prove to Liam and his friends that love didn’t exist.

And of course, he knew what he felt for Julianne was not love. He didn’t believe in that kind of thing. All he knew was that what he felt was something new and pleasant that all he wanted to do at the moment, while he was in this show, was to follow what his instincts were telling him—and that was to pursue Julianne and change her impression of him. He was taken by her and he would be glad to push through with it while it lasted. He had enough experience with relationships and he knew they didn’t last. And so, in conclusion as to where his crazy thoughts were swimming at, he just wanted to spend his time in this show with someone who gave him a different feeling of pleasure—aside from the physical part—and he saw that opportunity with Julianne.

But somehow, deep in his mind—the part where he usually threw some crap like real emotions—he knew he would be in deep trouble if he as much as make a wrong mistake as to totally give himself fully to whatever it was he was feeling towards Julianne. Like he said, he was infatuated, but he really hoped that was just it. He didn’t want complications for later.

Oh crap… okay, okay, he knew he would be in trouble in the end, but he just couldn’t help himself when he was around her. She had the ability to excite and intrigue him in a lot of ways by just being herself, and that, people, was something he had never experienced before. So, the hell with the ending or the finale, because at the moment he wanted to just give in. Forget the bet, forget love, and forget the blasted show. He just wanted to spend as much time as he could with this woman with the horrible glasses and attitude. At the moment, he just wanted to explore the strange emotions he felt every time he was near her. He wanted to experiment on the numerous “first time feelings” Julianne was making him experience.

“Afraid? Of course not,” she uttered, bringing him back to their present conversation. “I’m just saying that they couldn’t have gone this far, right? They were drunk and—oh my God, I hope they didn’t swim in that ocean and…”

“That’s not really possible,” he reassured. “There were cameras pointed in the direction of the ocean and they were not seen coming that way. I’m sure they’re within the woods.”

“It’s getting dark. Maybe we should go back and see if they have come back.”

“Fatima would have radioed in if they did,” he reminded her.

He knew she was tired and he was too.

“We can set up camp if you want,” he suggested.

“You haven’t heard from anyone yet?” she asked, looking at the radio in his hand.

He shook his head no.

“Okay, fine, let’s set up camp.”

Zach tried to hide the smile that was forming on his lips because if Julianne as much as noticed it, he knew she would only think him selfish, insensitive and everything but nice. He concentrated on putting up the tent while she tried to talk with some of the crew on the radio to ask for progress. Again, she was disappointed. Her face was painting worry all over it. He knew she was kind of close to Pauline.

“I’ll go get some woods for the fire,” he said when they were finally done. He started walking away and it happened too fast. He was on his feet one second, and then he was not. He didn’t see the slope a few meters away. He just found himself facing the earth. “Shit!”

“Are you okay?” Julianne asked above him, her face concerned.

Zach grunted. Yes, of course he was fine. He knew karate and he knew how to land on the ground without twisting a joint. But he also knew how to fake it to gain sympathy.

“I think I hurt my leg,” he said, contorting his face.

“Let me see,” she reached out but he shouted. “What? What’s wrong?”

“My shoulder hurts like hell,” he lied.

“Can you get up?”

“Not alone, I can’t,” he groaned.

“I’ll help you,” she said and he gladly welcomed her arms. Okay, it was a foolish trick, but it worked for him. Until she suggested, “We should probably call for help. You need immediate attention.”

“No, no, no,” he said too quickly. “I’m going to be fine. I have a bandage in my bag. Don’t take the other teams away from looking for the ladies.”

She eyed him suspiciously and he almost shrunk down the ground in fear of being found out. “Okay…” she said slowly and helped him to his feet. He dramatically limped all the way back to the tent.

“I’ll do the fire. Are you sure you’re okay?” she said when he was settled down.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just a little pain,” he said with a feigned grimace.

Julianne looked at him, her keen eyes studying him intently. “I’ll collect some woods first before it gets dark. Then I’ll see to your wounds,” and then she was gone, her steps careful.

Zach bent his head and smiled inwardly. This was going to be a great night for him.

Chapter 8

Zach had wanted to tell Julianne that he was completely fine, but the attention she was giving him kept him from doing it. She looked at the gash on his palm and took care of it. She helped him bandage his allegedly twisted ankle. She even touched his face with her fingers to apply an antiseptic cream. That was why he wouldn’t dare tell her he was fine and that he could perfectly mend his own wounds.

Yes, yes, call him whatever, but he didn’t care. No one was around to scold him of his little lie. For all he knew and feared, tonight might just be the last time that he could have with her.

“How’s your shoulder?” she asked, eyeing him through her glasses.

“Its fine,” he said with a smile, “just a little sore, I guess.”

Julianne just nodded and started building a fire.

“Let me do that,” he said, reaching out.

“You’re injured,” she said.

“I’m fine. I think I can handle building a fire,” he squatted beside her and prepared the twigs.

 *****

Julianne got a weird feeling as she looked at his hunched back, his eyes focused on building a fire. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she looked at his injured ankle.

“Yes, I’m okay,” he said over his shoulder and she saw something in his eyes.

Being a writer, you would develop the ability of reading people such as detecting lies. And seeing Zach’s eyes, she knew he was lying about something. “You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“Okay, I’m sorry!” he said, hastily turning around to face her.

Julianne was stunned. She didn’t expect him to blurt out the truth that early. And then anger rose up. “You’re such a jerk!” she threw the first thing her hand was able to grab and it was a small twig.

“I’m sorry, Jules, I didn’t mean to drag it for so long.” He stood up and walked towards her. Julianne stared at his foot.

“You’re such a bastard, you know that? You made me worry over nothing?”

“You were worried?”

“Of course I was!” she screamed. “Don’t expect me to believe anything you say the next time, Zachary.”

She stood up and took her bag with her and started walking.

“Where are you going? Jules, come on. I was going to tell you but I was afraid you’d do exactly what you are doing now.”

“Oh, yeah? You should have been a better liar then! You think you can play with me?” she said exasperatedly.

He followed her deeper into the woods. “Jules, come on, you’re angry, I get it. And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I promise. Let’s just go back and talk about this,” he said beside her.

“Don’t touch me!” she cried out when he touched her arm. “You know what I hate the most? Liars! And you’re the biggest one of them!”

She continued walking, stumbling on her feet with all the fallen twigs and uneven ground.

“I’m sorry, let’s just go back…” he said more gently. Then he turned around and said, “Where are we?”

“I don’t know and I don’t freaking care. Leave me alone.”

“Jules, I don’t think I know where we are,” he said, his tone serious. He was already circling on his feet, looking around the premises in confusion.

“You said you know this damn place by heart,” she snapped, her heart starting to race. She did not really plan to go further. She just wanted to get away from him.

“I was just exaggerating when I said that,” he explained, looking around.

“Zachary, if this is one of your tricks, I do not like it at all!” She was now looking around herself. It was dark and she couldn’t find a trace of where their tent was.

“Jules, I swear on my grandmother’s grave I’m not playing tricks right now,” he replied, his eyes seriously and utterly honest.

“This is your fault!”

“How can it be—okay, okay,” he held up his hands when he saw her face, “It is my fault. Do you have a map?”

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“A compass?”

“No.”

“The radio?”

“I left it in the tent.”

“Can you shout?”

“What?”

“We don’t have any options now, right?” he looked around. “We’re lost.”

“We couldn’t have gone too far,” she said, not wanting to admit that they were lost. “We just have to retrace the trail we took. And don’t touch me!” she added when he took her elbow.

“Jules, I think we didn’t pass that way,” he said as she started to walk towards the right.

“Then where do you suppose we came from?”

It was dark now, the sun completely gone. It would have been easier if they had built a fire already. She continued on and he followed her.

“Stop following me, Astor,” she hissed.

Zach looked at her like a lost little boy, “I don’t want to leave you alone in these woods,” he said.

“I don’t want to be with you,” she emphasized each word.

“But we’re lost and it’s dark. I suggest we wait until the sun rises. I’m sure we can retrace our track in the morning.”

Julianne was stubborn and proud and she wouldn’t in any way follow his advice. “I’m going back to camp,” she said defiantly.

“Jules, it’s impossible,” he raked his fingers through his hair.

“I have a plan,” she snapped and went on.

“What plan?”

“I plan to go straight ahead. I will eventually come out of the woods and out into a beach. I will circle the island after that and eventually go back to camp and into our cabin. Then I will pack my bags and go home.”

 *****

Zach realized it was a good plan, except the last part about packing.

“You can’t leave,” he said. “You have a contract, remember?”

“I don’t care about my contract anymore. The job can go to hell.”

“But Jules, you’re angry and you can’t make decisions while you’re angry,” he said desperately.

“Why do you have to make things impossible?”

“I’m not, you are,” he said and he regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth.

“I wouldn’t if you will let me go home!”

“Fine, fine, I’ll cut you a deal,” he said, still following her deeper into the woods.

“I’ve had enough of your deals.”

“I will let you go home eventually,” he promised.

“When is that?”

“I don’t know, but I will,” he promised.

“Even if we get out of these woods alive, I don’t think I can agree to that.”

“But I promise to let you go home.”

“Look, Zachary, I don’t want to talk about this right now. I just want to go back to camp.”

“But are you going home?” he asked. He didn’t know if he would like that if she would pack her bags and go home.

“Yes,” she said.

“Jules, it will be a breach of contract. You will pay a high price for that.”

“I know,” she nodded. “But I’d rather do it than stay in this island with you.”

He felt like he was slapped by that one. “That hurts,” he muttered.

“Good.”

“Like it really hurts,” he added.

“Oh, please, it’s just your lying ego.”

“Of course not,” he said, his anger starting to rise up. What could he do to prove to her that he was actually sorry and that he was honestly truthful when he said he liked her? “I’m telling the truth when I said I like you. You wanna know why?” he asked.

“No,” she answered, slapping a bunch of leaves out of her way.

He continued anyway, “I like you because you’re different. You’re beautiful despite what you think. You are an amazing person and you don’t even seem to care. And I know you’re starting to like me too.”

“What?”

“Yes, I know you like me too, Jules,” he grinned.

Julianne stopped walking, faced him and said, “I don’t.”

Zach knew his strategy was working. “And I know you’re leaving because you’re afraid of your feelings.”

“That’s absurd! I’m leaving because I can’t take any more of your stupid games and tricks and everything in this stupid show!”

“No, I think you’re leaving because you’re starting to like me and you’re afraid to admit that.”

“Impossible,” she uttered strongly.

“Then prove it.”

“Prove what?”

“That you’re not afraid.”

“I am not.”

“Then stay,” he challenged. “If you get into the top three and you still want to go home, I’ll let you go home. Just prove to me that you’re not afraid to like me and that whatever I do, you won’t be swooned.”

Julianne looked at him with blazing eyes. She was angry, he was sure of that. But he didn’t want her to go home just yet.

“Top five,” she uttered.

“Top four,” he bargained.

“Deal. Top four and I’m going home,” she finally said.

Zach almost jumped. “Deal,” he grinned and held out his hand. “Top four and you’re going home.”

Julianne just stared at his hand and turned around.

Damn the woman! She was as cold as ice and hard as stone. He would have to think of some ways to break her. Things didn’t work out as he hoped today, but once they found the missing girls and were back on track, he would definitely do his best to win her.

You don’t really want to do that, Zach, said that distant thought in his brain. You’re here for a bet and it will be unfair for Jules if you succeed.

He brushed that thought aside. He could think about that later on. For now, he wanted to relish the moment. Julianne would eventually go home and he would not have much regrets. He did what he could.

What if you will still want her after the show? Or after she leaves?

That would really be a big problem then, wouldn’t it?

 *****

“Aren’t we going to stop for a break?” he asked after a while.

“No,” Julianne answered.

“I think my ankle’s really hurting this time, Jules. I’m serious. I was not really completely unharmed by that fall, you know,” he said behind her.

“I don’t care,” she answered.

“Then you go ahead. I don’t think I can go any further,” he surprised her by saying.

Startled, Julianne looked back to see him bending with his hands on his knees. She was tired herself. And there was no sign that they were anywhere near their tent or the sea.

She was having a dilemma right now over what was right and wrong. She knew he was injured in some ways despite his lie about twisting his ankle. Finally, the Good Samaritan part of her won and she walked back towards him.

“Fine,” she uttered and sat on a big rock under a tree.

His face lit up. “Really?”

“I’m not doing this for you,” she lied. “I’m tired as well.”

“Thanks anyways,” he smiled genuinely at her. It was one of his rare smiles, she noticed. Sometimes she would see it come out whenever he was not wearing his stupid bachelor face.

Julianne just nodded and opened her bag. Good thing she threw a shawl inside. She took it and put it around her shoulders. From the corner of her eye, she saw Zach walk towards the boulder right next to her, sat on the ground and sighed.

“I hope it’s not going to rain,” he murmured.

Julianne wished that too. She didn’t answer and leaned against the rock behind her and closed her eyes. There was no chance they could find their way through the woods in the dark. She opened her eyes when she felt heat from her right side. She glanced at Zach, his eyes already closed. “Are you okay?”

 *****

Zach didn’t feel well—talk about karma, really. He felt cold and tired.

“Yes,” he said, his voice shaking a bit.

Without warning, he felt Julianne’s palm over his forehead.

“You’re such a liar. You’re burning up.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“You’re burning up, Zach.”

He opened his eyes and he saw Julianne taking her shawl from her shoulder. “No, that’s not necessary. You need it and—”

“Shut up. I don’t want to be the girl who killed the Bachelor. Take it,” she insisted grudgingly and covered him with the shawl. “I think I have some medication in my bag…” he saw her scramble her bag’s contents. A few seconds after, she was holding a tablet with one hand and a bottle of water with the other. “Take this,” she ordered.

Zach obliged, still wondering how he freaking got a fever. Talk about karma.

“Well, it’s real this time,” he murmured with a smile.

Julianne looked at him dryly and said, “Just rest, Zachary.”

“You can share the shawl with me—” he stopped when he saw the look on her face through the beam offered by the moon, “okay, I’ll rest.”

Chapter 9

Julianne was relieved when she felt Zach’s temperature going down. But he was still warmer than normal. His breathing was heavy as he slept. There were no sounds around them other than the crickets and some scrambling sound behind the bushes. Good thing she was not terrified by sounds like that. But she couldn’t fall asleep.

She turned her head and looked at the man responsible for everything that went wrong to her in the show. For the first time, she had the freedom to study his face up close without getting caught. She noticed that some new bristles had already started to appear on his chin and along his finely shaped jaws. His nose was not as perfect as she had thought though. It was a little crooked, probably caused by an injury of the past. His brows were thick and hooded his eyes in a smooth arch. His mouth was not too full or too thin either. They had that natural smirk on them. All in all, he looked so innocent while sleeping she could hardly believe he was capable of lying. Her anger had already died down and she just sighed. What could have gotten into him to play such a trick on her?

What a bastard, she thought.

A pretty handsome bastard, part of her mind added.

Julianne just smiled.

She turned her head up and looked at the night sky, wondering what she ought to do to get out of the show. The top four was not too soon for her and she didn’t like it that she was starting to enjoy Zachary’s annoying presence. She really had to go home fast.

Then a thought finally came down and rang repeatedly around her head. And then she smiled.

Yes, that’s a great plan…

And she would start that now. Gently, she reached out her arms and pulled Zachary towards her until his head lay on her shoulder. And ever so gently, she guided his head down her lap. He stirred, but sleep overcame fast.

Julianne smiled. Step one, done.        

 *****

Zach woke up against the heat of the sun. Opening his eyes, he frowned. He was facing the lower part of the ground. He could see the bushes far ahead. Turning his head, he felt something soft. Startled, he shot upright and saw Julianne’s sleeping form. He looked down from where his head had been lying down.

He’d been sleeping on her lap. How did he get there?

His eyes returned to Julianne’s face and he smiled. She looked like an angel with the gleam of light against her face. Everything that happened last night came back to him.

They were lost.

He looked around and he sighed with relief. Of course, he knew where they were now that the sun was up. He had an urge to shake Julianne awake and brag that he was right that they waited until the sun came out. He decided against it knowing she would not appreciate the shaking.

Then he remembered something else.

He had a fever.

He brought his palm on his forehead and grinned. No fever. Good.

“Jules,” he said gently, facing her. His throat was dry and he tried again, “Jules.”

She stirred and her lids opened slowly behind her ugly glasses. He should really give her the contacts he bought in Chicago.

At some point, she looked stunned when she saw him. Then her face lit up and she smiled.

Zach sat frozen on the ground. Did she just smile at me?

“Hi,” she said, her voice husky.

His frown deepened. “Are you alright? You don’t seem alright. Did you get a fever?” he reached out to touch her forehead.

“No, I’m fine. In fact, I’m feeling wonderful!” she beamed at him, her smile growing wide. A sudden rush of different kinds of emotions overwhelmed him when he saw how her smile changed her usual flat affect.

I must be dreaming. Who the hell is she? He asked himself. This was not his Julianne.

“We better go ahead, Zach,” she said and reached for her bag. She stood up, his head following her movement with bewilderment. “What?” she asked laughingly and he was sure he heard angels sing. “What are you staring at? Let’s go find our way out of this shit.”

The angels’ singing stopped with that last word. Zach’s eyes widened. This was definitely not his Julianne. “Jules, are you okay?”

“Of course, I am. I feel itchy though,” she said with a pout.

Zach almost gaped. What the hell was wrong with her? “You don’t act like yourself.”

“I am myself. Look, I’ve been like a bitch to you and I just realized that last night so I think I should finally let you see me as me,” she looked down at him.

Zach just stared at her. It was like he was looking at one of the girls. This was not his Julianne, he repeated to himself.

“Let’s go, Zach, I need a really hot shower after we find our way back.”

“I know where we are,” he answered, standing up, still in a daze. “I can find our way back now.”

“Oh, that’s amazing! That’s great then. Lead the way!”

Zach nodded slowly. Who is she?

 *****

Julianne wanted to gag. Like literally. This was a difficult game she was playing despite what she might have thought. It was a good thing she remembered her plan from last night though.

She looked at Zach behind her and smiled when she saw his bewildered gaze. This better work, she told herself with disgust. She didn’t like the character she was playing at all. It was one thing to create them in her mind and write about them, and it was entirely a different matter altogether to act like them.

“Oh, shoot, my stomach’s rumbling,” she said, exaggerating her expression.

Zach turned to her, his face still as confused as before. “You’re hungry?”

“Definitely,” she forced a smile.

“We’ll go back to our tent. I have food in my bag. It will take the whole day to go back to camp.”

“Bummer,” she blurted out.

“What?”

“I said, bummer,” she repeated.

“Jules, are you okay? You speak differently.”

“Zach, this is how I speak,” she said with a laugh.

“No, Jules, this is not you,” he insisted.

“Do you know me better than myself?” she arched one eyebrow.

“Okay, I won’t argue with that,” he murmured and walked on. “Let’s go get some food.”

 *****

Zach was able to retrace their steps last night and found their tent. The twigs were scattered now, probably by some unknown animal. Good thing Zach’s bag was inside the tent.

“Let’s see…I have some crackers here…” he rummaged through it.

“Is it sugar-free?” Julianne asked beside him. She was laying down her shawl on the ground.

Zach’s mouth opened. Was she serious? He knew she didn’t care about what she ate. He saw the humongous food she ordered in Chicago. “I don’t think so,” he answered.

“Well, I can’t eat that, I’m on a diet.”

“You’re what?”

“I’m on a diet. Let’s just go back to camp. There is more decent food in the cabin.”

He didn’t dare ask her about that. He was plain dumbfounded and lost at the moment. She was acting weird.

“But don’t you want to find your friends?”

She looked at him in disbelief. “Zach, I’m tired. We got lost last night. I’m sure the others can find Pauline and Brenda.”

Zach chose to ignore her and reached for his radio. “Base, this is Nano Team, over.”

“Nano Team, this is Base. We’ve found the girls. You can come back now,” Fatima’s voice crackled back.

“Oh, thank God,” Julianne said beside him with a sigh. “Now we can finally go back.”

Zach punched the button and said, “Where did you find them?”

“They were in the yacht all along, can you believe that?”

“No one checked the yacht before?” he asked in disbelief.

“I’m afraid so. But they’re safe and resting now. Where are you?”

“We’re on our way,” he answered and got up. He turned to Julianne and was surprised that she was already up with her bag on.

“Let’s go?” she asked, her tone close to…he couldn’t really figure out, but it was close to purring.

“I guess so,” he murmured and got up. He spent the next few minutes packing the tent and then they were off.

“I can’t believe Pauline and Brenda were that stupid,” he heard her mutter under her breath.

Zach couldn’t give an answer. Julianne was acting really strange, saying words she would never have said before last night. What had gotten into her?

 *****

Julianne was relieved when they finally arrived at camp. Jack Carter met them, his face concerned.

“We’ve been trying to contact you last night. There was no answer.”

“Oh, we got lost,” she said with a smile, waving her hand. “I got to go. I’m really tired.”

Jack looked at her curiously. With the way he was looking at her, she wanted the ground to swallow her up. She knew she was acting strange. Hell, she knew her voice changed into a small chirpy tone. But she reminded herself she was doing this for herself.

“Bye,” she said, waving her hand at both men and started walking towards the cabin. She was famished and she needed to see Pauline. She had to check if they were really okay.

The other girls were in the kitchen, eating their usual food. No one seemed to notice her arrival and she was fine with that. “Where’s Pauline and Brenda?” she asked aloud.

“Upstairs,” Penny answered, forking her salad.

Julianne ran upstairs to her room and found Pauline lying on the bed. “Pauline?”

Her friend turned on her back and smiled at her. “Julianne! Oh my God, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to worry you guys. We were so drunk. I’m so sorry.”

Julianne dropped her bag beside her bed and crossed over to Pauline’s and sat down beside her friend. Pauline got up and she hugged her. “I was so worried,” she murmured.

“Thank you. I was so worried as well when they were not able to contact you guys last night.”

“It’s fine now,” she smiled and laughed. “You’re fine. How’s Brenda?”

“She’s okay,” Pauline replied. “We didn’t know you guys thought we were lost and—oh God, we’re so sorry.”

“It’s all over now, so don’t worry.” She stood up and smiled. “I’m really hungry. Care to join me?”

“Sure,” Pauline said and jumped out the bed.

 *****

Julianne spent the whole day listening to Pauline and Brenda about their little adventure. Actually, there was not much to tell. They just decided to go to the yacht and had more drinks and then they slept the whole day through. They asked Julianne about her search with Zachary. She told them about getting lost, leaving the part where she decided about her plan and the deal she had with Zachary.

They were in the living room with the other girls when Brent entered and surprised them by saying, “We’re going to have a group date tonight, ladies.”

“What time?” Chloe asked.

“Where?” Amanda chirped.

“What should we wear?” Vivienne asked.

“Dress to impress,” Brent answered. “You will have a dinner date with Zach outside the cabin at seven this evening.” And just like that, he left with the camera man tailing behind him.

Julianne was not at all ecstatic. She was expecting Zach to rest for today after what happened last night. And she didn’t know if she was ready to make a fool of herself again tonight. But there was no choice. She had a plan and she better execute it well.

“What should I dress in?” she asked Pauline later that night.

“Put on that turquoise dress,” Pauline answered. “And those strapped sandals,” she added, holding her hair up.

Julianne took her advice and dressed.

“Who would have thought you have an amazing body?” Pauline said, wide-eyed when she turned around.

“I don’t think—”

“You’re gorgeous. Well, aside from those eyeglasses. Don’t you have contacts?”

“Yes, but they’re too uncomfortable to—”

“Put them on, girl!” Pauline urged. “Oh my God, you look hot. Like I-should-crumble-to-the-ground-and-never-be-seen-with-you kind of hot.”

“You’re exaggerating,” she said dryly, looking for her contacts.

“Come on, get them on. I’ll do your hair and make-up,” Pauline said excitedly when she saw Julianne holding the small container.

Julianne nodded. She had to do this if she wanted to push Zach away and go home.

 *****

Zach was pacing around his room, holding a glass of brandy. He was baffled and curious all at the same time. He had been rummaging for reasons from the events that happened last night that led to Julianne’s sudden change of behavior. He couldn’t find any.

He wondered if she had a bipolar disorder or some sort of a personality thing going on. He was between these thoughts when he heard a knock on his door.

“Hey, Zach, dinner’s going to start any time soon,” Brent popped his head in the doorway.

“Coming, man,” he said and followed Brent outside. He placed his glass on the table beside the cabin door and walked with the host. Brent said goodbye saying he didn’t want to join and that he had some visitors in his trailer. “Go get them,” he gave the man a salute and walked alone towards the big table covered by white cloth that danced with the night wind. There were different kinds of food and fruits on the table, but the girls were not yet present.

“You can sit here,” Fatima, holding her usual clipboard told him, indicating a chair at the head of the table. Zach nodded and sat down before his feet took him inside the girls’ cabin and demand for Julianne to explain everything. That would be stupid, he told himself.

He waited, looking nowhere in particular for quite a long time before the doors of the cabin finally opened and the ladies exited, dressed in splendor. Chloe was first in line along with Vivienne and Hanna. The three of them were dressed in white, and the materials of their dresses left nothing for the imagination. Zach stood up and smiled at them. Hey, he was a man, and a man knows how to appreciate. When he was done looking, his eyes looked for Julianne.

Though she was dressed in something he never expected, and though she looked magnificent especially now that she removed her glasses—much to his amazement and puzzlement—he was not as impressed as he thought. Yes, the woman was incredibly beautiful as he imagined. Yes, her dress was defining her amazing curves as he guessed them to be. And yes, she was wearing her amazing smile as he had hoped for, but he was not pleased at all. He was wholly disappointed. Why? Because the woman walking towards his direction was not the Julianne he knew.

That lady was not his Julianne at all.

Chapter 10

Julianne felt terrible and uncomfortable in her haltered dress, but she had to keep up with her role, copying the women’s behavior. Her face felt numb from all the smiling she had been doing all night. Even Pauline had whispered in her ear and asked if she was okay.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she answered, nodding her head. They were now seated around the table, eating and drinking wine. She could feel Zachary’s gaze landing on her every now and then, but they were seated too far from each other that any opportunity of a conversation was not possible without everyone hearing it.

As usual, Chloe was sitting right next to him and had been entertaining him most of the evening. Julianne was praying though that he would not stare at her too much. That was the main purpose of her plan, right? To camouflage with the ladies so that he would not notice her.

Aside from the fact that she was a great judge of character by being a writer, she learned how to mimic the girls’ behavior by thinking bitch and acting somewhat like it. Not that everyone was a bitch, some of course, like Brenda and Pauline, were just plain fun. She wanted to act like the Desperadas, but like the Dumb Pair, Julianne didn’t think she could give them honor by copying their characters. So there, she chose to be fun and just a little bit bitchy. She didn’t want to steal Chloe’s amazing role.

“That’s your third glass,” Brenda whispered beside her as she poured herself another glass.

“I’m thirsty,” Julianne answered, feeling light-headed herself.

The women near her were engaged in some kind of conversation and she would laugh with them without hearing a thing. And every time she gave off a giggle, she would see Zach looking at her with a frown, and she would giggle some more, silently cursing herself for acting like a lunatic.

Good, so far, she told herself.

“I think you’re drunk,” Pauline pointed out with a chuckle. “You’re acting weird, Julianne.”

“I’m fine, what are you talking about?” she couldn’t help but laugh. She should drink more. It made laughing easier, she decided.

 *****

“So, what are you girls up to after dinner?” Zach asked the ladies, his eyes hovering towards Julianne who seemed drunk. He’d been counting the number of glasses she had and she had quite a few.

“I don’t know, I think we won’t be drinking,” Pauline cried from the end of the table and everyone laughed, including Julianne who he confirmed was really drunk.

Damn, she looks beautiful, he thought. Her hair went with the night wind from the ocean, her eyes twinkling with the lamps on the table; her skin, though a little flushed from all the wine, was like silk and he would give anything to caress those…

He mentally shook his head from the thought. Chloe was talking to him about her life before she entered the show and he had to at least focus and not look like a snob.

After they were done with dinner, some of the girls went ahead to change and take a dip into the calm ocean. It had been a humid day and the waters were not that cold tonight.

Stella, the one with the short black hair, asked him to join them.

“I think the white bikini will suit you,” he heard Pauline tell Julianne as the two made their way inside the cabin.

“Really? Then I’ll wear those!” Julianne answered excitedly, pulling Pauline by the hand.

He turned to Stella with a smile and said, “Of course, I’ll join you.”

“Great!” Sally chimed when she heard and pulled Stella away from him and they excitedly took off inside the cabin.

“They’re so desperate,” Chloe muttered beside him.

He almost snapped something at her but he stopped and smiled. “I’ll go change,” he uttered and left her to walk towards his cabin, his mind full of Julianne. How could she take the courage to swim when she was drunk?

Hurriedly, he changed into his board shorts and grabbed a towel. He charged back outside, determined to finally get her to talk to him and tell him what the hell was wrong with her.

 *****

“Oops!” Julianne cried out with a giggle when she almost fell on her face against the tide. She was still feeling dizzy.

“Watch out,” that same boyish voice said behind her. She could feel his hand holding her by the elbows.

“Oh, it’s you,” she giggled again. “Thanks,” she said with no attempt to pull her arm away from his grasp. She even made a bolder move by facing him, placing her other hand on his shoulder. She knew he was shocked, his muscles clenching before he took a step back. “Afraid, Zach?” she asked. He was about to open his mouth when her friend came to the rescue by coming to them. Julianne almost sighed with relief.

“There you are!” Pauline announced behind them. “Hi, Zach,” she said, jumping her way through the waters.

“Hi,” he answered. Julianne took the advantage of his distraction to sneak away.

“Jules, where are you going?”

“Swimming,” she said with a laugh. “I love swimming!” she shouted and her head throbbed. Then she remembered she couldn’t swim with her contacts on. “Oh, shit!” she cried out.

“What’s wrong?” Zach asked, suddenly beside her.

“I can’t swim with my damn contacts on,” she answered with a sigh. “I think I’ll go back inside,” she announced.

“That’s better,” he said, “you’re drunk.”

She chuckled, letting him hold her by the hand, and guide her back on dry ground. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. You better get inside. I want to talk to you,” he said seriously.

Julianne did not answer and grabbed her hand back. “I’ll be fine on my own,” she muttered and grabbed her towel.

I need a drink, she said to herself, opening the door, walking into the warmth of the cabin.

 *****

Zach couldn’t get away from the other ladies as easily as he had hoped for, but he would constantly shoot his gaze at the cabin windows to see any sign of Julianne. Once he saw her through the kitchen window, holding a bottle of wine. And a lot of times, he saw her pacing the same room with a glass full of dark liquid. She had her glasses back on and her hair was tied up in a mess and she was still in her top bikini.

It was not a good sign at all and he wanted to jump out of the waters and shake some sense into her. She was acting like a brat and he thought he knew why. All along, he knew why she was like that, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself.

“Ladies,” he said over his lungs, “I’ll go in first! I think I’m gonna catch a cold!”

The ladies chorused a lot of concerned words at him. He said his thanks and prayed to God they would stay a little longer in the water. Some of them went in as soon as he had left and hopefully, they would retire for the night.

Inside his cabin, he watched through his window to see if Julianne was still in the kitchen. And she was. Good thing kitchen with a lot of food was not considered by the other ladies as a good place to hang around. Chloe and the others were still outside, and those who came in were already upstairs in their rooms. He knew because he saw their bedroom lights flicker on.

He couldn’t very well go out through the front door unless he wanted Chloe and the others to see him, so he went out the backdoor. It was directly at the edge of the woods and he had to carefully make his way through the dented ground. Once he reached the backdoor of the girls’ cabin, his shoulder dropped to find out it was locked. The other side of the kitchen, the one not facing the ocean, was completely shadowed and dark. He peeked through the window to see if Julianne was still there, and sure enough, she was sitting on the same stool, pouring another glass. Desperate, he tried the window. Disappointment came once again when it did not open and he sighed with frustration.

He badly wanted to talk to her and it seemed the only perfect time to do that. But the blasted windows and doors wouldn’t let him in. He paced outside the kitchen window, hands on hips, head bent, brows knitted together, and mind running around a maze. His head snapped up when he heard a screeching sound from inside. Julianne was standing up.

He cursed when he saw her walk out the kitchen, but then he smiled with relief when she turned to the left and opened the front doors, almost landing on her back when Chloe and the others burst in a pile, covered in their towels.

“Go to sleep, Julianne, you’re drunk!” Vivienne said with a condescending look. Julianne just nodded, adjusting her glasses.

Vivienne was definitely on top of his list of ladies not getting a rose now, he thought with ire. His sudden anger upon seeing Julianne being looked down that way surprised him. The urge to protect her just came out, and once again, it was new for him.

The girls went directly upstairs, chattering on about those who were not present—a behavior he really resented ever since he first heard his mother talked about her friends behind their backs. But that was the nature of most women. They just couldn’t stop themselves.

Once no one was around to witness his sneaking, he walked to the front doors and looked for Julianne. His heart started racing when the thought of her going back in the waters occurred to him, but it quickly ebbed down when he spotted her by the tree they stayed at a few nights ago.

He jogged his way towards her and like the last time, she was sitting on the branch, her face against the tree trunk, her eyes directed to the sky.

“Jules, we need to talk,” he whispered beside her.

At first he thought she did not hear him nor felt his presence, but she finally moved her head and looked at him through her glasses. Her eyes glinted as her lips broke into a smile. “Hi, Zach,” she said, followed by a deep chuckle.

“You’re drunk,” he thought.

“Of course, I’m not,” she said, playfully pushing him. “Why are you here? You want to kiss me again?” she asked with a tinge of bitterness, though her eyes travelled down his lips.

He leaned closer when her face went forward, but only to find out that she lost her balance. “You’re not yourself,” he pointed out, catching her by the arms.

Pushing away from him, she found her equilibrium. “You’re making me do it, you know,” she slurred.

“Me? What did I do?” he asked outrageously.

“Your silly notion about liking me is what’s keeping me here. I intend to prove you wrong.”

“By acting like a brat?”

“By acting like everyone else,” she nodded slowly, her eyes closing. “By acting like them.”

“To push me away?”

She nodded once again. “And to make you think I’m no different than everyone else,” she added once again, this time frowning. “My head’s killing me.”

“You’re acting like this because you don’t want me to notice you,” he said matter-of-factly, a confirmation of what he thought of in the first place. “You want me to ignore you and stay away from you.”

“Uh-huh,” she smiled and opened her eyes. “But I think I’m doing it wrong,” she frowned. “Because you’re still here in front of me…”

Zach closed his eyes and tried to control himself. He was not angry. He was frustrated.

And why couldn’t he just do what she wished him to do? Why couldn’t he just ignore her like he’d been ignoring some of the girls? Most of all, why couldn’t he just make her pack her bags and go home?

Because you know she’s different no matter how she tries not to be, a part of him whispered in his ears. And deep inside, you know that this might be the last time you’ll find someone like her.

Finally, after staring at her for a while, he sighed and said, “You’re drunk, Jules. You better go inside,” then he held her by the arms and urged her to get up.

“But—”

“Get inside,” he insisted. “Or I won’t hold on to my promise to let you go home after the top four”

“Yes, yes,” she answered immediately, and he wished she didn’t do it that fast.

He guided her to the front door of their cabin and when he couldn’t hold on any longer, he caught her hand, just before she turned and started walking to the doors, and pulled her back to him. Frustration, want, and need made him crush his lips down against hers. Of course he didn’t expect her to be able to push him away due to her drunk state, but he didn’t expect her to respond with such urgency either.

Hmm, a complete irony to what she confessed earlier.

When, finally, he came back to his senses, he cupped her face with his hands and gently leaned away. “You better go inside,” he murmured.

Julianne absently nodded and turned around to open the doors.

 *****

Back in his room, Zach was pacing back and forth, his mind full of wondering thoughts. She wouldn’t kiss him back if she wanted to really push him away. But why would she want to leave?

We already made a deal, he said.

She doesn’t want your attention, that part of his brain said. You know you get into her nerves.

Of course that was it. What else did he think? She said so herself. She agreed to stay until the top four, but she didn’t want him going after her.

But she still kissed me back.

Zach stopped in the middle of the room, a smile breaking his face.

Jules, you just made the biggest mistake by blurting out your plan, he thought with a grin.

Chapter 11

Julianne woke up with the worst headache she ever experienced. Everything was a blur, and she was even surprised when she learned that she was still in the same white bikini top from last night. Hell, she couldn’t even remember last night.

“Hey,” Pauline beamed at her through the mirror. Her friend was already up, ironing her blond tresses. “Hangover?”

She just groaned and closed her eyes once again. “What happened?” she asked.

“You were drunk I guess,” her friend answered. “But I don’t really know what happened to you. You were gone for some time but thank God you came back before I really got worried. I don’t want to go into the woods looking for you if you went missing as well.”

“I can’t remember what I did last night,” she murmured with a moan.

“Well, you came in really drunk, but you were smiling like crazy. I tucked you in and you went to sleep,” Pauline explained what she could.

“Thanks,” she muttered, frowning. But what happened in between? The last thing she remembered was the cool water from the beach and Zach and Pauline. After that was a blur. “My head is killing me,” she groaned.

“Want me to get you something?” Pauline asked with concern.

“I’ll be fine,” she answered in a whisper and fell back to deep slumber, her consciousness ebbing away to dreamland.

Zach was in a good mood that morning. He woke up early and excitedly, thinking about his plan, rerunning it around his head, and then grinning once more when he was sure it would work. He showered casually and enjoyed his breakfast alone. He wanted to execute his plan well, so he didn’t dare come out to join the ladies. He would have to wait and be patient if he wanted to have the old Julianne back.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he walked out of this cabin door, jumping down the steps with excitement, and then he froze, his feet rooted on the hot morning sand. His boyish grin completely disappeared into a dark shadowed frown as he tried to focus his eyes beyond, outside the girls’ cabin. Zach clenched his jaw, slowly moving towards the sight that caused his mood to turn a full 360. The anger he felt was out of bounds but he didn’t realize that just yet. His feet ground the sand with his purposeful stride.

Julianne spotted him first, her first instinct was to get up and rush inside the cabin, but second instinct came in just as instantly and she smiled and waved with her hand. She had a personality to keep up anyway.

Jack Carter paused from talking when he saw her waving, turned his head and sighed. “You’re liking him,” he muttered under his breath, only for her to hear.

“Of course not,” she said, her smile wavering when she noted Zach’s sour face. It couldn’t be the sun, she thought. “I’m doing this so he’ll go away,” she whispered.

Jack’s face lit up and he nodded, “The crew has been talking about the different attention he has been giving you and I think I understand why,” he looked at her before standing up.

“Yeah, right,” she groaned and followed, digging her hands inside her shorts pockets.

“I’ll see you around,” Jack nodded his head once and started walking, meeting Zach halfway. Julianne craned her head to the right to see what was going on when Jack stopped just a few feet away from Zach. They appeared to be discussing something, and then the two of them looked back at her, their expressions unreadable because of the sun. She saw Jack nod and then he was off once again to the direction of one camera man.

Zach continued his walk towards her and Julianne tried real hard to bring back the smile on her face. “Hey, Zach!” she greeted.

“What were you doing with Jack Carter?”

“We were just talking,” she shrugged. “He saw me walking down the beach earlier during his morning run. Going in?” she pointed her thumb at the cabin doors behind her.

“What were you talking about?” he asked, his brows knitted in a straight line.

“Nothing,” she replied. She found it easier to lie with her alter persona. She and Jack were actually talking about her real future job which she would get the moment she was sent home. And it was because of the man standing before her that she couldn’t get a hold of it. And her pretense went out of her mind for a short while at the remembrance.

“You know him personally?”

Annoyance started to creep up Julianne. “What’s with the questions? You know I know Jack Carter. I signed a contract with him, remember?”

“But do you know him personally?”

“You know what? I don’t even want to ruin my good mood this morning by entertaining your questions,” she said, turning away from him to enter the doors. “And don’t you dare hold my hand,” she added when she felt he was about to.

Zach took a deep breath, held it in for a while longer, and closed his eyes. He ruined a perfect plan for this morning because of something he saw which, as he now thought, was nothing. Jack and Julianne said the same things.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he whispered behind her before she opened the door. “But I’m glad to have you back, Jules,” he grinned, smelling the scent of lavender in her hair under his nose.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said with a forced gentle voice.

“You mean you don’t remember?” he asked, frowning. And then he smiled, “You don’t remember you blurted out the reason why you suddenly changed into a stupid brat? God, you must really be so drunk last night.”

Julianne suddenly whirled around to face him, pushing him a step back away from the door and out of possible earshot. “Last night? What happened last night?”

“You don’t remember,” he stated matter-of-factly.

She eyed him with warning of impending doom. “Zach, what happened last night?”

He looked at her face in fascination, his anger completely gone being replaced by great relief for seeing the real Julianne. Yes, she might be looking at him furiously right now, but she was his Julianne and he was glad.

“Zach,” she said his name slowly, glaring up at him.

“I love it when you say my name,” he breathed out, his grin growing wide.

Her eyes lit up with irritation and he realized how he missed it. “Zachary, what happened last night?”

Zach shrugged, looked around feigning nonchalance, and said, “Nothing, you just said you had been acting like a brat because you want me not to notice you, but mind you, you failed anyway, and then you kissed me.”

Her eyes widened. “I what?”

Zach nodded vigorously. “You kissed me,” he said, and then his grin turned into a small grimace when he saw her face. “Okay, I kissed you first, but just like the first time, you kissed me back. Which pretty much told me you don’t hate me that much,” he finished and backed away one more step when her hands went on her waist.

“You’re…you’re…” her voice was infuriated as she searched for the right word, “impossible!” and then she turned on her heel and pushed the doors wide open, revealing a houseful of mess.

“Hey, Zach!” Vivienne greeted when she saw him from the living room, her hands holding a magazine.

“Hey,” he nodded, his eyes following Julianne’s back as she walked straight for the stairs. He remembered how Vivienne treated Julianne last night and he reminded himself once again not to give her a rose tonight. The thought led him back to his task at hand and he entered the cabin, kicking a cushion that seemed to have lost its way from the couch. “I have news, ladies,” he announced and her audience, the ones present in the room—which was almost half of everyone—looked up with their beautiful, perfect teeth all for him.

Julianne heard the news later that day from Pauline and Brenda.

“Chloe finally got the chance to get a one-on-one date with Zach,” Brenda shared, rolling her eyes and flipping her straight black hair.

“She’s been talking about it every minute she was waiting for him,” Pauline added. “You should have seen her. Barely got any cloth around her surgically fixed body,” her friend said with a chuckle.

Julianne smiled, and curiously asked, “Where’s the date?” She honestly tried to ask the question without much interest.

“At the other side of the island and aside from the camera guy, they will be completely isolated. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re stripping each other’s clothes off by this time,” Brenda answered, munching on her cookie.

Julianne nodded, trying to erase the scene that Brenda pictured in her brain. She didn’t care what Zach and Chloe would be doing.

Or did she?

“And when they announced my name as the Homecoming Queen, I was really shocked. But then, so were the people who hated me,” Chloe chatted on, playing with her curly blonde hair.

Zach nodded and smiled, which was what he had been doing for almost an hour now since the topic about high school came up. And note that he had not said anything about himself yet.

But to be fair for Chloe, though she was obviously and completely narcissistic, she could gain half his attention which was not in the case with most of the other ladies aside for Julianne, of course, who always got his full attention from the very beginning.

Chloe was different from the usual sexy bitch he knew because she was intelligent and she was a good talker—aside from those moments that she would get carried away talking about herself. And yes, she was beautiful and she was sexy and hot.

But she doesn’t have Julianne’s eyes, he noted as he stared at Chloe’s blue ones. And her lashes are not as long as Julianne’s, he added.

Zach mentally shook his head and tried to give his full attention to Chloe. He was used to that before. You give women your full attention and they would pour over you like a good bottle of wine. You nod and smile and ask questions and they would do anything. Well, in his case anyway.

And you must be thinking about Julianne again. She was an exception at everything so don’t include her to the group. Zach knew that and he was walking down that thought once again, his mind filling up with thoughts of the only girl who seemed not affected by the attention he was giving her. As a matter of fact, she was the only girl who didn’t want it.

But Chloe did. And she was savoring it. She was gulfing the attention she thought she fully had.

“And who was the Homecoming King?” he asked when she paused to take a breath.

Her eyes rolled and she said, “Oh, Mike Taylor. The geek. People must have thought it would be a good laugh if they voted for him, which was true actually. But I didn’t like it that much. He ruined my picture,” she finished with a frown.

Zach just nodded and stretched down the sand. How did she expect him to answer to that? Hey, he may not have been the geek during high school, but he was way smarter than most guys during his time that he knew how intelligence could be a curse or not. He chose to hide that part of him because he was smart enough to know that if he didn’t, he would get the same treatment from people as Mike Taylor did. He didn’t appreciate Chloe talking about geeks like Mike Taylor. He was not that kind of guy, so cut some slack if you were thinking he was one of the handsome know-nothing bullies. He knew how to play his game even before he stepped inside kindergarten, and being an ass as bullying geeks was not part of that.

“So,” Chloe said, her tone turning into a purr, which he secretly despised ever since he heard the tone from Julianne, turning on her side and leaning on her elbow to look at him, “a really strange rumor has been circulating around the girls lately that I can’t stomach,” she said, trailing one finger down his bare chest.

His muscles tightened. Hey, he was a man and reactions always happen. But he didn’t want that for now so he caught her hand and held it tightly in his to stop her. The camera guy was far away, his camera obviously really good, but the microphone was just a few meters away to capture their conversation. He didn’t want the other ladies to see Chloe and him having too much of intimate moments.

Okay, scratch that, he didn’t want Julianne to see him doing what Chloe had in mind. Call him crazy, but it was Julianne’s face that crossed his mind when he felt Chloe’s touch.

“What story?” he asked, guessing he already knew what she was talking about.

“That you actually prefer Julianne than any of us,” she answered, rolling her eyes. So she was cute when she does that, but doing that with Julianne as their topic was not something he found to his liking.

“Jules?” he asked.

“And you call her Jules,” Chloe sighed and when he didn’t say a word, she frowned. “You like her?”

“I like all of you,” he chose the safest answer. “You don’t like Jules?”

“She’s weird,” Chloe groaned and pulled her hand from his grasp and laid her head on his shoulder. He thought it was safe so he let her.

“Yeah, she is,” he answered with a smile.

“And it looks like she doesn’t want to be here,” Chloe added.

“Yeah?” was the only thing he could say. Of all people, he was the one who knew that very well.

“Maybe it’s her plan,” Chloe said nonchalantly, studying her nails.

“Plan?”

“To gain your attention. She chose to be different so you will notice her.”

“I notice all of you,” he answered, pulling himself up, causing her head to fall on the clothed ground. He reached for the wine and said, “Let’s not talk about that. This is our date and I want to hear more about you.” His strategy worked and Chloe completely forgot about Julianne.

Zach didn’t though, his mind worried for Julianne.

She was not only struggling against him, she was obviously struggling against these women as well.

Julianne was working on her computer under her now-favorite tree away from everyone when she noticed the pump boat approach the docking site. Zach and Chloe seemed to be enjoying their time together, she noted and she didn’t want to even recognize the initial reaction she had. She didn’t care what Zach did with the other women. She would be out of here after the top four so…

She returned her attention back on her work. She had been doing a sequel to her successful story so she needed full concentration. But the peace she wanted was soon to be shattered by the sound of laughter coming near. It was Chloe’s mirthful chatter and laughter that irritated her most.

Julianne shook her head. She totally gave up her plan knowing it would be useless now that Zach knew about it. And even if he didn’t, she would have given up anyway because it didn’t seem to have worked. Worse, it even made him more curious that he didn’t leave her alone.

Intending to get inside the cabin before Chloe and Zach did, she closed her computer and briskly walked all the way to the cabin in and was surprised that Brent was already there with all the cameras and lights. Jack Carter was at the back and he gave her a nod as she entered.

“What’s going on?” she asked Pauline in a whisper.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you. Brent’s got an announcement to make.”

Julianne did not bother to answer her friend’s question because the doors opened once more. Chloe appeared, her skin now slightly tanned. Zach followed close behind, his hand under Chloe’s elbow.

“How was the date?” Brent asked the two of them.

“Great!” Chloe answered.

“It was good,” Zach nodded. “What’s this?”

“Just a little announcement,” Brent said and looked at Chloe, and when she understood what he meant, she laughed and walked to join the other ladies, giving Zach a flying kiss.

Julianne frowned, taking out her glasses and pretended to clean them with her shirt so she wouldn’t have to meet Zach’s gaze. It felt weird to know that he just came from a date with another lady. She knew it would not be the last time he would go on a one-on-one date, but still, it felt weird.

“Now that everybody’s here, let’s begin the Rose Ceremony,” Brent said with a smile.

A loud collection of gasps and horror rang around the room. No one expected that news. Julianne, now with her eyeglasses back on, could see that even Zach was surprised.

“Surprise,” Brent said when no one spoke. He motioned his hand and a table was wheeled in with ten white roses. “Zach, after your great date, you will now have to face yet another difficult task. A lot has happened since the last Rose Ceremony, right? You girls worried us with that vanishing act you did that led to a search and rescue, didn’t you?”

The girls laughed and Julianne closed her eyes, her face flushing, remembering it was that night that she decided about her plan that got busted.

“And last night, you all had another chance to interact with Zach during dinner.” Brent turned to Zach who was now standing beside him with a blank expression. “Zach, I know you still need to know more about these ladies, but this is part of the show. You need to choose ten and send home five. Are you ready?”

“I guess so,” Zach answered, finally a smile creeping up his face.

Julianne was not at all excited, knowing she would receive a rose, but she was anxious. She wanted Brenda and Pauline to stay.

“Ladies, if you please?” Brent said, asking them to get up. They did and once again, they were all standing in front of Zachary with their gloomy and solemn faces.

She saw Zach take a deep breath the moment Brent left the scene, took one rose and said, “Julianne,” he announced, his voice so sure. And it was the first time he said her real name after he decided for himself to call her Jules. Though she hated being called first, she liked the sound of her name from his lips.

The glances the ladies threw her were a mixture of shock and awe and hate. Pauline nudged her and she walked towards Zach, her face expressionless. She could see in his lips that he was trying hard not to break into one of his stupid grins, though he was smiling down at her as he handed her the rose.

“Will you stay and spend another week with me?” he asked.

What is he up to now? She asked in her mind. He knew she didn’t have a choice and by the twitch on his lips, she was sure he was teasing her.

“Yes,” she mumbled and snatched the rose from his hand, turned, and walked to the other side of the room where Fatima was waving.

“Chloe,” Zach called out and saw the change in Chloe’s face from one of that of ire after hearing Julianne’s name being called first, to one of pure happiness and hope. After handing Chloe the rose with the same question he asked Julianne, he took another rose and looked at each of the ladies. His eyes landed on Vivienne. Not in this lifetime, he thought and looked at Pauline. “Pauline,” he announced and added, “just don’t get lost again, okay?”

Julianne’s friend laughed and took the rose.

Then he went on and called Stella, followed by Hanna, Jenny, Amanda, Kim, Penny, and finally, Tanya who appeared near the fainting state.

As soon as Tanya’s name was called, completing the top ten, the ladies went to say goodbye to each other with tears, some fake and some genuine. He could see that Julianne hugged Brenda tightly.

“Well, ladies,” Brent broke the drama, much to Zach’s relief. “I’m sorry but you have to pack your bags and go home.”

Zach walked to the five ladies and gave each of them a peck for goodbye.

Julianne was sad to see Brenda go, but she was at least relieved that the Dumb Pair were gone, knowing if they stayed any longer, they would only be the laughing stock of the rest of the ladies. Across the room, as they drank their wine as a little celebration, her gaze met Zach’s.

Now, he knew she was back to normal. Mission failed.

She sighed, knowing he was back on the game.

Chapter 12

Zach was starting to get restless in the island. The days were just the same and the activities were getting boring. He thought he would have much fun living in an island surround by gorgeous women, but he was wrong.

He was wrong because he only wanted one woman but the problem was, she didn’t want him. If only she would open some tiny little window, he would be happy to play Tom Hanks for another Cast Away movie as long as Julianne would be his Wilson. Anything just to wash away the frown on her face every freaking time he came near would be great.

Yes, yes, the last time he wanted the old Julianne back. But he just couldn’t stand her frowns any longer. He wanted to literally stretch those edible lips of hers sideways and upwards to form a smile. He couldn’t understand even until now why he was acting so desperate. Honestly, he really believed the feeling would wear off, but it was not. In fact, it was getting worse. And the only things holding him back from making a fool of himself were the reminder of the bet and the camera following him wherever he went.

He needed to stress out, he decided, and went for a swim. Well, it was more like a hundred-meter laps, really.

Julianne was a constant subject running around his mind and he had to control it before he went crazy.

 *****

Julianne was outside the cabin, sitting at the bottom steps with her computer on her lap, when Jack Carter’s low baritone voice spoke above her, his shadow blocking the sun. “Hey,” he said with a smile.

“Hey,” she smiled back. “No work?” she asked.

“Na, nothing much. I just have so much work whenever there’s a date or during the official Rose Ceremony,” he sat down beside her and supported his weight by placing his hand behind him. “What are you doing?” he asked curiously.

“Nothing,” she said and closed her computer in haste. “Just some work…”

Jack frowned, “You don’t have a work yet,” he said. “Not until you get out of here, anyway.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I really wish you did not give me that damn contract.”

“Hey, I honestly did not think you would make it this far. No offense of course,” he quickly added.

“None taken,” she smiled lamely and looked ahead.

“But now that I was able to observe you from day one, I think I understand why Astor keeps giving you a rose,” he uttered after some awkward silence.

“Yeah, because he likes this game so much,” she huffed, thinking of the real meaning behind her words.

“No, because you’re actually interesting,” he answered too honestly.

“Interestingly weird?”

“Interestingly not like any other,” he phrased and Julianne noted something in the way he said it that alarmed her senses. Not the way Zach could, but in a different, normal way. It was like she was talking to a normal guy that she knew she could get to like in time and after being surrounded by Zach’s annoying presence for many days, it was refreshing to actually be in Jack Carter’s company.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was intended to be one,” he shrugged. “He spends a lot of time with you lately and almost everybody notices that,” he said after a while that she almost felt lost at the sudden change of subject.

“He likes annoying me, that’s all,” she answered with a frown.

“Don’t trust him,” Jack’s voice was serious and she snapped her head towards him.

Her first impulse was to tell him he didn’t know Zach that well, but she stopped herself. Zach was a character she couldn’t just defend. He was someone whose reputation preceded him and plus, she didn’t know him that well and Jack might be right after all.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” was all she said.

 *****

As Zach made his way back to shore, he spotted Julianne and Jack Carter sitting outside the girls’ cabin once again.

What’s this all about this time? He wondered silently, a frown forming on his face. They didn’t look like they were having fun, but they surely looked like they were having a moment. Julianne was looking at Jack the way she had never looked at him before and it pissed him off. The man should be out there doing his job. What the hell was he doing here talking to his Julianne like he was on a freaking vacation?

Unlike last time, Zach decided he should shower and dress first before he would interrupt their little moment together. He had to act cool, he thought.

“There’s a date scheduled for today,” Fatima told him the moment he stepped out his door fifteen minutes later.

“Where?” he asked.

“On a nearby island,” she said, looking at her clipboard.

“With?”

“A group date with Tanya, Julianne, and Hanna,” she answered.

Zach skidded to a stop and Fatima almost bumped into him. “Who else are coming?” he asked.

“The usual…the camera guy and some crew you want to bring with you.”

“What if I’m taking the ladies somewhere like Vegas?” he asked.

Fatima frowned. “You will have to spend the night there if you will.”

“Good.”

“But you will need to bring more crew. Vegas is a big place and I think Jack—”

“He won’t come, will he?”

“I don’t know,” Fatima shrugged. “He’s got a lot of editing to do with—”

“Good! Then I’m taking the girls to Vegas. Cancel that island trip,” he ordered and continued walking. If he has a lot of editing to do, what the hell is he doing talking with Jules?

As he suspected, Jack was still there when he appeared. But the moment Julianne and Jack spotted him, the director stood up, murmuring something to Julianne that caused her to smile in a different way, and started walking towards him.

Zach tried to hide the scowl on his face. “Hey, I want to take the girls to Vegas,” he said to the man.

Surprise registered to Jack Carter’s face. “Vegas? I don’t think that will fit our budget…”

“It’s all on me,” Zach intercepted. “I want to get out this island for a while,” he added, his gaze travelling behind Jack’s shoulder where Julianne was still sitting, looking at them anxiously. Why is she looking nervous? “We’ll leave immediately,” he turned to Fatima and said, “Tell them to ready the boat and fuel the plane.”

Fatima nodded and rushed back to camp where all the staff stayed during working hours.

“I’ll go break the news,” he grinned forcefully at Jack Carter, who now he considered a contender.

Jack just nodded and he took off without a word.

“Hey, Jules!” he said loudly so Carter would hear. “Excited for our date?”

 *****

Julianne’s eyes squinted. “Date?”

Zach nodded eagerly. “Vegas, baby. We’re going to Vegas.”

“Vegas?” She hadn’t been to Vegas and never planned to.

Zach winked at her with a smile, leaned down to grab her hand. “Come on, you better pack.”

“Pack?” she asked stupidly.

“We’re going to stay there for a night,” he explained. “So go pack,” he pulled until she was on her feet.

Julianne looked at him, “Who else are coming?”

“Hanna and Tanya,” he offered. “Now, go,” he pushed her gently towards the door, his face excited.

Julianne just shook her head. This was another thing they didn’t have in common. He liked to party, she didn’t. But why was she even thinking what they had in common? She was leaving him in no time, right?

 *****

Zach did not spare a lot of time and rushed the ladies from their cabin and into the boat, which took them to the plane that was ready to fly, and thirty minutes later they were on the air going to Las Vegas.

He was smiling contentedly to himself as he watched the island from his window. Finally, he had Julianne all to himself again. Almost. Hanna and Tanya wouldn’t leave him alone for even a second. They always had something to say like the different kinds of clouds, the weather, his hair, the show…everything.

He would be grateful if Julianne would join their conversation, but as always, she was seated far away from him, facing her laptop. Zach had been fighting the urge to grab the thing and toss it out the plane. It seemed more interesting than him? But he respected her passion for her work, so he wouldn’t dream of even touching it.

He knew he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to Julianne with Hanna and Tanya present without them noticing something for he very well knew that he would not act as normally as he would if he was with Julianne, and from what Chloe told him, the girls were already thinking he was especially fond of Julianne. He didn’t want to confirm their suspicions because he knew how they would make Julianne’s life miserable if that would happen. If only it were Pauline present, he would not have such a big problem.

That was why he left her alone. He would just have to think of a way how to get her for himself later tonight.

They arrived at McCarran International Airport by one in the afternoon and it took less than twenty minutes for the limo of Aria to take them to the hotel. Reservations were not a problem since hotels would always jump at any chance to greet with so much hospitality a group of people with money and television cameras. The limo drove through a private driveway of the 61-storey building. The moment they stepped out, they were escorted through a separate lobby for their private check-in and after that, another trip by a private elevator took them to their two-storey villa composed of three bedrooms.

Jack Carter ordered three camera guys to go with them, making Zach feel crowded than ever. But they would leave to go to their own rooms when the time came, so there would be no problem for later.

As the girls took in the view offered by the panoramic windows of their Sky Villa, he prepared drinks, watching Julianne’s face as she gazed outside from the corner of his eyes.

“Go pick your bedrooms,” he said as he handed them their drinks. The camera men were all over the place, doing their job, but he didn’t care. He was more eager to party tonight and finally get the chance to be alone with Julianne.

As soon as he said that, the two women, Hanna and Tanya, jumped on their feet and climbed up the stairs to pick a bedroom. Zach grinned, knowing they would share one room and Julianne would have the other for herself. He on the other hand, would have to sleep in the third one.

“What about you, Jules?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with merriment.

 *****

“What about me?” Julianne asked. Deep inside, she was amazed. She never expected they would actually stay at one of the best five-star hotels in Las Vegas and that he managed to get one of the Sky Villas.

“I suppose you’ll take the other bedroom?” he asked.

“They will never share a room with me,” she scoffed in answer. She took her bag and started for the stairs. He stopped her by taking it from her hand.

“I’ll help you with these,” he said, taking the other.

“I’m not going out with you guys later,” she stated as they climbed up the stairs.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll be sick,” she answered.

“Jules, come on, don’t do this. I actually did this for you, you know,” he whispered under his breath.

“You did it what?”

“For you,” he repeated. “So you better come or I’ll come get you and you won’t like it when I force you,” he warned playfully.

“Whatever,” she sighed. She knew it wouldn’t have worked anyway.

 *****

Zach stayed in his room, pacing around thinking of a plan for tonight. Hanna and Tanya would make things difficult unlike the last time with Pauline.

Then, out of nowhere, that tiny bell inside his head clanged. He immediately grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

“Liam, it’s me, Zach, you have to come to Vegas now.”

Chapter 13

“You act different around her,” Liam told him later that night. His friend flew immediately to Las Vegas, obviously excited to see how he was holding up, and to meet the girls.

“What are you talking about?” he said it with a snort. Of course he knew what—or rather who—he was talking about.

“You know what I’m talking about. And you know who I’m talking about,” his friend whispered to him before sipping his brandy. “You can’t take your eyes off her.”

“I don’t really know what you are referring to,” he insisted, leaning back against the couch.

“Do you want me to say her name out loud?” Liam taunted, his brown eyes twinkling with obvious amusement.

“It’s nothing,” he uttered with a sigh after a few seconds. Julianne was sitting across from them, looking at nothing in particular. Hanna and Tanya were enjoying themselves at some games at the other table right behind her. They were at The Deuce Lounge and there were quite a number of people around. But it seemed that Julianne was the only one who seemed to be out of place. She was dressed up, yes, much to his insistence earlier, but her face was as blank as the players playing poker around them.

“You obviously like her,” Liam chuckled. “But she doesn’t like you, does she?”

“Of course she does. Why else would she be here if she doesn’t?” he asked incredulously. He would never admit to anyone that Julianne was desperate to get out of the show.

“She’s not into you, I can see that,” Liam said, further aggravating his frustrations.

No, Julianne liked him, he denied. She was not just in the position she wanted. But he was willing to change her mind.

And then what? You can’t have her in the end anyway, the silent fun-killer part of his mind cried out.

“So, Julianne, what are you into?” he heard Liam ask aloud.

Julianne snapped her head towards his friend. “I’m a writer,” she answered, her voice emotionless.

“What do you write?”

She shrugged, “Stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“She writes—” he started, but then he remembered Julianne’s choice of privacy and stopped. “She writes almost anything, right Jules?”

Liam turned his head towards him, frowned with amusement and chuckled. “Jules?”

“I call her that,” he said defensively. He looked at Julianne and stood up. “Okay, I know you’re tired. You’re tired right?”

Shocked, Julianne looked up at him and slowly nodded.

“Okay, I’ll take you back upstairs,” he said hurriedly. He looked back at his friend who was looking too appalled and too amused to even speak. “Hey, man, why don’t you take the girls to some poker while I take Julianne upstairs? I’ll be right back in no time,” he instructed.

Slowly, like Julianne, Liam nodded his brown head and said, “You sure you’re coming back?”

“Zach, I can go back on my own,” Julianne spoke up.

“Yes, Jules can do that,” Liam nodded his head vigorously with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Zach was getting annoyed at his friend. He was not making this easier. “No, she’s as frail as a bug and she might get lost. Her eyesight is poor.”

“What?” Julianne asked, startled and confused by his stupid remark.

“I can see she can see you’re acting like a child now so I guess her eyesight is—” Liam broke his sentence and held up his hands when Zach sharply turned to him with a murderous look. “Okay, it’s probably the best idea that you take her upstairs. Take all the time that you need.”

“Good,” Zach nodded and turned to Julianne. “Let’s go, Jules, you’re ruining the mood by your sour look. I know you prefer to be alone with your computer,” he took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

“Zach, I can go back on my own—”

“I take you back upstairs or you stay here. You choose,” he said it like he was talking to a toddler.

“Fine,” she huffed and looked at Liam, “Goodbye, it was nice to meet you.”

Liam gave a salute and said, “Anytime, Jules,” and Zach could have punched the man with the taunting look he threw at him as he called her by the name he preferred using.

 *****

As they rode the elevator alone to their room, Zach suddenly felt restless. He had two dilemmas at the moment.

 One, he knew Liam was sensing something was going on with him and he realized it was a mistake to have invited him. He acted on his impulses and the need to be desperately alone with Jules again tonight that he did not think of how his friend would see things as they happened. And two, he didn’t know if Jules was even aware he had gone through—and risked—a lot of things just so he could get her alone to…what? What did he even want to do once he was alone with her? He was so focused on his desire to just be with her that he did not get the chance to think about what he wanted to do with her. It seemed that all he wanted was to be with her.

Just be with her. Hell, he didn’t even care if she gave him the cold shoulder that she usually threw at him.

I’m really going crazy for this weird girl with ugly eyeglasses, he thought silently as he watched the numbers above them light up.

“You shouldn’t have left them,” Julianne mumbled beside him.

He turned his head and studied her once again. She looked marvelous—as usual—in her black strapless dress. He had the sudden urge to take her in his arms and devour her right there and then.

“Liam can take care of them,” he waved off. “I’m feeling tired myself as well,” he lied.

It was only then that he noticed that there was not a camera guy standing at the corner. Didn’t they notice them get out? Well, they were obviously focused on filming the other ladies what with their plunging necklines and tight-fitting clothes.

And not being filmed didn’t matter to him. Maybe, just maybe, it was a sign that this might just be his lucky night.

 *****

“You should get back,” Julianne said as they entered the villa.

“Liam can handle them,” he answered, going to the bar. “You want a drink?”

“No, I think I’ll go sleep,” Julianne lied. She could never sleep tonight. She was feeling different…weird even. She didn’t know what to think anymore. It was like Vegas had this powerful magic that would open your eyes to almost anything beautiful and right now, since they arrived, she couldn’t help but not notice Zach’s green eyes.

As pointed out, it was really weird.

She had been able to stand too close to him—even to the point of kissing him—a lot of times during their stay at the island, but she had never noticed how beautiful his eyes were. Even now, when he was standing far away from her, she could still see the color in them.

She was really going crazy. Why the hell, of all things, she suddenly took notice of his eyes?

Because she had seen them flare up with anger earlier that morning when he saw her with Jack, because she had seen them flicker towards her from time to time during their plane ride, because she saw them twinkle when hers met them, and because she saw how they glittered every time he laughed and how they would search hers to see if she was having fun as well.

She didn’t realize she was getting lost into their green depths once again, and she didn’t realize he was walking slowly towards her, his face serious and solemn and tender.

Finally, when she felt his strong presence, his warmth, she blinked and snapped back to her senses. She cleared her throat and turned her head to the window and said, “I’ll go in first,” she whispered hoarsely and stepped sideways so she wouldn’t bump against his chest.

“Jules,” he whispered and his voice was low and manly. Not the boyish kind she was used to. Not the playful tone she was so aware of. This was a different Zach calling her name and she surprisingly liked it.

“I really need to go to bed, Zach,” she whispered.

“You’re avoiding me,” he pointed with a slow grin.

Okay, so the Zach she knew was still somewhere there after all. “No,” she snapped. “I’m just tired.”

She felt his hand on her arm as she passed him, pulling her back, but it was not harsh, rather it was gentle and tender.

Julianne didn’t know if it was the knowledge that they were in the city of sin or the alcohol she took earlier, that she felt the air around them was just different. It was, in some ways, different from the one that surrounded them in the island when they first kissed. She closed her eyes and bent her head when Zach took one step closer. She was getting warmer and that dangerous yearning she felt before started to integrate inside her once again. This is really crazy…

“Stay,” he whispered in her ear, his breath tingling and warming her all at the same time. Julianne stifled a gasp.

Say something, anything… she willed herself, but couldn’t.

She could feel Zach’s breath against her skin, his lips touching her cheek in a feather-like kiss as it travelled across her face. She anticipated the moment. She was fully awake, but she felt that she was in a dream.

A very slow, sweet, dangerous dream.

And when Zach’s lips finally hovered over her lips, she almost gasped with impatience. He was teasing her and she was aware of that. With the little amount of strength that she had left, she tilted her face forward just a little to send him the message.

He got her answer and she was suddenly crushed against him and his mouth devoured hers in a desperate grateful, hungry kiss. One hand restlessly roamed around her back, pressing her against his hard length, the other at her nape, holding her head for a deeper kiss.

Fire surged up inside Julianne. This was completely different from what they shared at the island—that one time she could remember, at least.

Mindlessly, her hands spread across his chest and she felt his muscles tighten. Their breathing were coming fast, but neither of them chose to break away, knowing that if they did, she would come back to her senses and the magic would go away. Heat was coming fast and they could either extinguish it or take it to higher heights.

 *****

Zach couldn’t believe what was happening. He didn’t plan it this way, really.

Okay, so yes, maybe it crossed his mind, but he rejected that idea knowing Julianne would not go as far as that.

But it seemed that he was wrong about that too because she was answering his kiss and touch with the same yearning and burning passion. Her mouth tasted like heaven and her body felt like it against his.

He slowly led them towards the nearest possible makeshift bed he could think of and it was the couch. Going upstairs was out of the question. She could go back to her senses and he would have to suffer alone once again.

They dropped on the couch and he was grateful she didn’t budge and continued to unbutton his shirt with shaky, urgent fingers. He had been undressed countless of times, but why did it feel like it was his first time as Julianne’s restless fingers undid his buttons?

He traced his hand along her thigh, going higher.

This is really happening… part of his brain said in disbelief as Julianne arched towards him.

With a soft chuckle against her mouth, he took off her glasses and threw them on the carpeted floor.

But he didn’t expect it to make a ringing sound. His lips froze against Julianne’s and a frown formed across his face. What was that sound?

 And then desire came over once again and he continued with his work, inching his hand higher to her waist, taking her dress with it.

“Zach,” Julianne tore off her lips from his.

He groaned. “What, Jules? Please, don’t say no, not when we’re like this,” he emphasized his words by taking his hands to the sides of her breasts.

She stifled a moan, but shook her head. “Zach, it’s the door,” she said breathlessly.

For a short moment, he was lost. “What?”

“The door. Can’t you hear it?”

Of course he could. He just chose to ignore it or identify what it was.

“It’s just room service. Or Liam. I don’t really care,” he rushed, leaning down to take her mouth.

She turned her head away from his lips. “Zach, you’re not the only one who has a key,” she pointed out.

Groaning in defeat, he leaned his forehead against the side of her head, and with what was left of his sensible strength, pushed away from her and buttoned his shirt. “I should have barred it…with nails…and a thousand padlocks,” he grumbled as he grabbed her glasses from the floor and handed it back to her.

The door rang again and he jumped to his feet, crying, “What?!”

“It’s me,” Liam said as he finally opened the door. “What’s keeping you?”

“What do you mean what’s keeping me? We just got here!” he couldn’t help his frustration from showing.

Liam raised his brows in amusement and said, “Uh, no, you were gone for like half an hour now,” he said, tapping his watch.

Zach frowned. They were gone that long? They had been making out that long? What the hell? “What do you want?”

Liam extended his neck to look behind his shoulder and through the crack of the door. “You’re not letting me in?”

“No, because I told you to watch over Hannah and Tanya. You’re not really doing it.”

“They’re asking for you,” his friend stated, leaned closer and added in a whisper, “Why? What were you doing before I rang?”

“Shut up and get out.”

“Hey, I’m serious. Those girls are looking for you.”

Zach took a deep breath. He should have called a more convincing and charming friend.

“Go,” Julianne said from the couch. “I’ll be fine here. I really need to rest anyway,” she added, standing up. She started for the stairs.

There went his lucky night. He sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” he snapped at Liam and pushed him out the doorway and closed it behind him.

“Dude, you’re really into her, aren’t you?”

He did not answer. He was not even sure what to think anymore. All he wanted to do was to break his friend’s neck for intruding.

 *****

Julianne lay on her bed wide awake for the next two to three hours. She tried working, but nothing came to mind. She was so full of what happened downstairs and what could have happened. God, she would have allowed that to happen and wouldn’t have had second thoughts. She wasn’t sure if she was glad or not about Liam’s untimely appearance.

She was sprawled on her bed when the silent knock came. She jumped to the floor, and her heart started racing. It must be Zach. She knew it in her gut it was him. What the hell should she do? And why did he come back? It was past three in the morning already. Maybe he finally decided to come back with the girls.

The knock came again, this time it was louder. Slowly, she walked to the door and opened it a crack. And surely, there he was, standing with his hand on the doorway, grinning from ear to ear.

And he smelled like brandy. “Zach, you’re drunk,” she hissed.

“No, I’m not,” he shook his head. “I want to be with you, Jules,” he whispered, leaning closer.

She could feel the touch of alcohol in his breath. “Zach, you’re drunk. You need to sleep it off,” she pushed him gently.

“I want you. I want to be with you. You know that, right? I…” he trailed off as he tried to balance on both feet, “I…I like you…very…much and you’re really making it hard for me, you know that?”

She was surprised by his words. Yes, of course she’d heard the first sentences before, but the last part startled her. She never imagined he felt like that. “Zach, we’ll talk in the morning,” she promised. “Go to sleep.”

“We’ll talk…” he nodded.

“Yes,”

“But I want to be with you…”

“Zach,” she said strongly, wanting him to walk away before she changed her mind. She couldn’t face him like this.

“Okay…tomorrow…” he repeated and she nodded. Slowly, he turned around and walked to his room.

Julianne closed the door and sighed, leaning against it.

She pushed away and paced around her room for another three to five minutes. Sleep was not a choice tonight, she thought.

Blast it…

She finally gave up, turned to the door, opened it, and walked towards Zach’s room.

For a long moment, she just stood there, arguing with herself. Taking up her courage, she held up her hand in a fist to knock. She stopped, changed her mind and took the knob. With the last remaining courage, she turned it and swung the door open.

And wished she didn’t.

There, lying on the bed, was Hanna, her hair rumpled, dressed in…well, nothing but the white sheet of cloth around her.

And there, standing by the bed was Zach, his shirt half open, his face shocked.

“Jules!” he cried out.

Julianne held up her hand, “Save it, Zach.” And then she turned away to walk back to her room with a surprisingly big amount of tears pooling in her eyes.

Chapter 14

Zach was in panic now. He honestly didn’t know how Hanna entered his room before he did.

“Get out,” he told her through clenched teeth, his voice cold.

“Zach, come on…” Hanna purred, pushing the only covering she had aside.

In normal circumstances, he would have jumped on the bed, but he was just furious and in a great deal of panic to even consider some chemical response at seeing her gorgeous body naked on the bed. “Get out, Hanna,” he said stonily.

“Zach, I know you want this…”

“Fine, enjoy yourself,” he snapped and walked out the door. He almost ran to Julianne’s door and when he reached it, he knocked. “Jules.” No answer. “Jules.”

“Go away, Zach. I’m sleeping.”

“No, you’re not. Open the door and let me explain.” He knocked once again. “Jules.”

He stepped back in alarm as the door suddenly swung open. “What? You don’t have to explain anything,” Julianne’s voice was as blank as her face.

“I swear I didn’t know she was there, Jules.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t really care,” she started to close the door again and he stopped it by one hand.

“Jules, come on, you know I was with you not five minutes ago.”

“And when you didn’t get what you want, you jumped right to the next one. I get it. You don’t really need to explain, Zachary,” she pushed the door close as she said, “and forget about that talk tomorrow.”

“Jules!” he cried out as the door finally shut at his face.

“Zach, what are you doing?” Hanna was standing beside him now fully dressed. She eyed him suspiciously then looked at Julianne’s door. “Was it Julianne who came in earlier?”

“What?”

“Was it Julianne? Why are you outside her door?” her eyes were getting really angry now.

“No, it was not Julianne. Go back to your room,” he started walking around her.

“I’m sure I heard you say her name earlier in the room…”

“You are drunk. You were imagining things. No one came in.”

She suddenly appeared lost. “No one?”

“Yes, so go back. And Hanna, don’t do that again,” he warned.

Her face colored and she nodded.

Zach couldn’t let her or the other girls know about his interest towards Julianne. It would make things difficult for her. But he also had to explain himself.

He slammed his door closed and groaned in frustration.

How could things turn out this way?

 *****

Zach was sulking the next day. Julianne wasn’t even looking at him and she was avoiding everyone that even the camera men noticed and were wise to avoid her.

And every time Zach saw Hanna, he wanted to strangle her. He wanted to drag her towards Jules and order her to tell her nothing happened. He couldn’t do that though and he knew that. Hanna herself was avoiding him, her face flushing every time her eyes met his. At least she felt shame at what she did, he thought.

The only person who didn’t have any idea—apart from the crew and Liam who already went home after breakfast—was Tanya, and she was regarding them with a curious look.

“Did something happen that I don’t know?” he heard her ask Hanna.

He was sure Hanna would never tell a soul. She would never tell anyone that she was rejected the other night. “Nothing,” was her response.

As the girls went up to gather their things, Zach took the chance to talk to Julianne again.

“Before you say ‘get out’, I want you to know that nothing happened with Hanna last night,” Zach said in haste, barging in her room. Julianne looked up from her task of arranging her bag, her face unreadable. “Jules, you have to believe me. I didn’t know she was in my room!” he explained with his hands, wanting to shake her, to get her to reveal any reaction. Anger, frustration, bitterness, or if it was possible, relief, that she was feeling something. “Jules, I’m telling you the truth,” his voice was getting desperate.

If Liam was around and witness what was happening, he would be laughing his ass out by now.

“You don’t need to explain anything to me, Zach,” was Julianne’s deadpan response and she continued folding her clothes.

“I want you to know I did not plan anything like that. Well, I did, but I wanted it to be with you. She just…I don’t know how, but she just appeared on my bed like that.”

“And you just happen to be half naked as well. Right,” Julianne scoffed.

“I was getting ready to sleep and I didn’t see her, honest to God, I didn’t! When I turned on the lights, she was there and then you came in,” he explained hurriedly. “Jules, tell me you believe me.”

 *****

He looked at her inquiringly and his eyes were telling her that her answer was very crucial. She had a long time to think last night and mind you, she thought of every possible reason she could think of. And his excuse was one of the things she considered.

Julianne sighed and looked at him, “I believe you,” and then she held up a hand to stop him when he made a move towards her, “but I’ve had enough. Just…spare me.”

Zach stood frozen, his smile wavering. “What do you mean?”

“It means I don’t want anything to do with you, Zach,” she answered. “Look, I get it. This is your world,” she spread her hands in the air. “Things like last night happens every time for you like a...like an everyday birthday party. I can’t handle that. I’ll be leaving after the top four and I don’t think I want complications.”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“What I mean is…just spare me with the little games. I don’t want what happened last night between us to happen again. It will only make things complicated, so don’t think you have something to answer for. Don’t think that you have a responsibility to explain what happens to you every time because I don’t want that. This is a show meant to entertain other people and I don’t think I can mix myself into it. I can’t separate my emotion from what is happening in this show anymore,” she finished.

A very long silence reigned between them that she could even hear the ticking of her watch. Zach’s face appeared to be confused for a moment and then he frowned. “Jules, are you telling me you like me?”

His statement made her jaw drop. “What? Where the hell did you get that?”

“You said you can’t separate your emotion from what is happening in this show anymore. It says you were really affected by what you thought was happening between me and Hanna last night, which means you have feelings for me.” That stupid grin of his broke out on his face again. “You like me.”

He totally nailed it. She couldn’t believe he would have caught that part of her speech, dissected it, and finally came up to the exact conclusion. “You’re overanalyzing things, Zachary,” she said.

“No, Jules, you like me!” he was almost jumping on his feet.

“Of course not.”

“Then stay. Stay until the end,” he said without hearing her.

“What do you mean?”

“Stay until the show is finished.”

She looked at him, “No, we had a deal, Zach. I’m only after top four. Which means you will let me go home when you choose the top three,” she reminded him. “So please, don’t make this any more complicated for me. I have more important things to think about than…” she trailed off.

“Than what?”

“Nothing,” she snapped and closed her bag. “Let’s go back to the island. I don’t like this place anymore,” she announced and walked to the door.

 *****

Jules cursed herself for not handling the situation earlier as she had planned. She could have convinced him they were not going to work but somehow, she said something wrong and now Zach was looking at her with amusement.

They just climbed on the boat and were on their way to the island. Hanna and Tanya were talking to themselves, whispering something that seemed so important. Whatever it was, Julianne got the feeling that it was not really good.

No one said a word the moment they got out of the boat and jumped back to sand. Hanna and Tanya, to Julianne’s great surprise were too eager to go back to the cabin that they did not even linger beside Zach which gave him the opportunity to talk to her again.

The cameras were still rolling and he was careful with his words when he said, “I’ll see you soon, Jules. We really need to talk.”

“Yeah,” she answered for the sake of the camera and walked off ahead of him.

When she entered the cabin, everyone were huddled together, their heads merged as Tanya chatted on. And then they stopped when they sensed her presence. Only Pauline jumped up and greeted her.

“Julianne! How was it?” she asked.

“It was…okay,” she shrugged. “What are they talking about now?” she asked when Pauline came near her.

Pauline looked back, turned to her, and pulled her towards the stairs by hand. They went to their room and her friend said, “They were talking about you,” as soon as the door closed.

“What about me?”

“Hanna said you planned to go into Zach’s room last night but then she was already there doing…you know,” she cringed.

Julianne gaped. What a bitch!

I bet she won’t like it when I tell everyone the truth…she thought.

But she wouldn’t do that. What for? All of them—including Pauline—were fighting for Zach’s attention and she was not willing to stoop down their level and join the game. She was here for a different reason. She would not do anything because of Zach.

She didn’t know if she could convince herself of it all the time though.

 *****

She couldn’t sleep that night. She never saw Zach after they arrived at the island, but it was him that was running around her mind all day. That passionate moment they shared last night was eating inside her and she couldn’t get the picture—and the feeling—out of her system. While the girls were having their late night dinner, she crept out the back door and went to her tree. Yes, it was her tree now.

Julianne couldn’t believe that a lot of things happened to her here that she never imagined. She had really thought that she could go back home that first Rose Ceremony. Who would have thought that Zach would be stupid and naïve to even pick her?

As soon as the lights came out inside the cabin, she got up and came in. It was nearly midnight, she noted, and she decided to sleep off whatever she was thinking. Pauline was already asleep and she crept slowly inside. She found her computer on the bed, still on. She forgot to turn it off earlier. Looking at the blank screen, she had the urge to write but nothing—not a word—came to mind.

She’d start on that tomorrow, she thought.

 *****

They were yet again surprised by Brent the following day by announcing that they would be playing volleyball by the beach. Julianne was never good at sports, but she had to join. There were only ten of them and there would be five members each team.

She feared balls coming her way and she was right about it because the girls of the opposing team, Hanna, Chloe, Tanya, Penny, and Kim were making it sure that the ball landed on her. If only she could do some really good spikes, she would have cracked their brains open with the ball like what they were obviously trying to do to her.

Her team mates, Pauline, Stella, Jenny, and Amanda were shouting at her for not hitting the ball right. She was saying sorry every freaking time and she was starting to really hate the word.

Zach was watching with Brent, his face shadowed by the sun. His fixated gaze on her was not helping either. Obviously, the other girls were desperate to win his attention by slamming the ball hard towards her. They must have figured out she was not really good at it because of her poor eyesight.

 *****

Zach was getting furious. The heat of the sun was not helping either. In fact, it was boiling his blood high. Julianne was obviously not doing well and the girls were taking advantage of it.

“Don’t you think it’s time to cut the game short?” he asked Brent.

“They’re enjoying, can’t you see?” Brent asked, eyeing Chloe and Hanna. “Just look at those buds, man…”

Zach was not paying attention. His eyes were locked on Julianne and from the look on her face, she was near outburst. “I think Julianne’s not feeling fine.”

“Of course she doesn’t. The ball’s been hitting her hard since they started. She really needs to get those eyes fixed,” Brent said without taking his eyes off his subjects.

“Hey,” Jack Carter’s voice said behind him. Zach turned and saw that the man was wearing a concerned look on his face. “I don’t think Julianne’s doing great. Can’t you do anything to stop this?”

Zach’s temper snapped and he pushed away from the bench. “You don’t really have to tell me that. I was just about to do that. Just go back to you work,” he said under his breath, his words intended only for the man’s ears. And then he turned away. “Okay, ladies, why don’t we stop this? The sun’s really hot and I don’t want any of you dehydrated. Let’s go get some drinks!” he announced and he heard Brent’s groan behind him.

“I think we won!” Chloe announced proudly.

Zach forced a smile, “Yeah, you did.”

He stopped Julianne when she passed by him. “Jules, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she walked away with Pauline.

Of course she isn’t, she was hit by the ball a number of times, his brain said. His face shadowed with anger when she stopped to talk to Jack Carter.

Jealousy was not a feeling he was good at and he was not handling it well at the moment.

 *****

While they were having lemonade, Brent urged them to gather around him, Zach included for a little interview.

“So, how are things so far?” the host asked. The cameras were rolling all around them in every direction. Julianne, as what she always did whenever something like this happens, chose to sit back and listen and observe.

“A lot of surprises,” Chloe chimed in.

“Surprises?”

“Yes, like when we went fishing the other day when Zach went to Vegas with Tanya and Hanna?” Chloe answered, deliberately leaving out Julianne’s name. “We didn’t know there were sharks in that cave! It was such a big surprise, really.”

Zach frowned. “There were sharks?”

“Yes! I nearly got killed, didn’t you know that?”

“Uh, Chloe, I don’t think there are sharks around this area,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Well, that time there was,” she said simply. “And then, what else was the surprising thing again?” she turned to Tanya and Hanna, and then her eyes travelled to Julianne.

Something told her something nasty was going to come out of the bitch’s mouth.

“Oh, yeah, well, I don’t know if this is surprising, but someone told me Julianne was so bold during Vegas and that she came inside Zach’s room. And oh, did I mention she is J. Green, the author?”

Everyone was silent for a long moment and those who were familiar of her pen name turned to her with awe. And those who weren’t were probably focused on the first revelation that they threw her an incredulous look.

But Julianne was stunned. She didn’t care what everyone thought about her coming in Zach’s room.

 She snapped her head at Zach, glaring at him with accusing eyes. He was the only one who knew about her being J. Green.

But he looked as stunned as her as well.

But no one knew about it other than him, she thought.

She was just about to jump on her feet when Zach’s voice boomed. “Where the hell did you get that, Chloe?”

Julianne froze in the couch—well, everyone froze. Even Jack Carter who was seated behind the cameras was stupefied. The shock of Chloe’s revelation was still in the air, but Zach’s sudden angry outburst was more shocking. That voice, that tone, was a complete stranger to everyone.

She looked at Chloe and the girl was as pale as paper.

Zach was on his feet, his eyes boring into Chloe, his lips pursed, and his jaw clenched.

Oh, oh, Zach was obviously not happy and he was really angry—for the first time.

Chapter 15

Zach’s anger surged up not when he heard Chloe’s statement, but when he saw Julianne’s accusing glare. For the first time, he was angry at her for even thinking that he would betray her trust.

He directed his anger towards Chloe, yes, but he was angrier at Julianne. He was hurt.

“Where did you get that story, Chloe?” he asked again.

Chloe was looking pale, her mouth open and out of words. “I…I…someone told me,” she uttered.

He took a deep breath. He could see Julianne was shocked from the corner of his eye. Hell, she should be! He didn’t say anything about her being J. Green. Was she shocked because she thought he told someone? Or was she shocked because he got angry all of a sudden?

“Nothing happened in Las Vegas,” he decided to address that issue and hopefully, no one would ask about Julianne being the author of the number one thriller book. He looked at Hanna and the girl cowered. “Nothing happened, right, Hanna?” his voice was like ice now, his eyes like daggers.

“No, nothing happened,” she said in a whisper.

Everyone behind the camera was speechless, even Brent.

“Good, because I went to bed alone,” he looked at each women in the eye, including Julianne’s. “I don’t like this rumors circulating around you girls. It’s just plain immature,” he stated. Whirling around, he looked at Jack Carter and said, “I don’t want this shoot aired.” The man nodded and he turned his attention back to the ladies, “Let’s forget about what was said here and start all over again. As for Julianne being J. Green, that’s for her to tell and you can’t go around announcing such information without her knowledge. Now,” he forced a small smile, “let’s just have fun and no fighting. I don’t like it.”

The ladies nodded their heads solemnly. He looked at Julianne. She diverted her gaze and anger rose up in his throat once again. He decided he should leave to cool things down. He had never snapped in front of a lot of people before.

“I hope you clear this thing up before I return for tonight’s dinner,” he declared and left the cabin without another word.

 *****

“Oookay…” Brent said after a long time of awkward silence. “Why don’t we continue this later?” he got up and walked out the door. What a jerk.

Julianne, her mind whirling with all the things that had happened since Vegas, followed suit and almost ran up to her room. She was followed by Pauline.

“Julianne, are you okay? I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that bitch was going to do that. If I had known, I would have told you,” her friend uttered gently, sinking in the bed beside her.

“That’s okay, I don’t expect anything good from them,” she answered, her voice blank. Her mind was full of Zach as of the moment. Funny, she didn’t care at all that everyone knew of her identity as J. Green. She was more bothered by the gaze Zach directed towards her before he left. He looked hurt and angry at the same time.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“About what?” she asked absently, staring up at the ceiling.

“That you’re J. Green,” Pauline said, her voice full of awe rather than accusation.

“I wanted it to be kept a secret for a while,” she replied.

Her friend nodded. “But Zach knows, right? I saw it in his eyes when Chloe said those words. He was more shocked that she knew than at the news.”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head once. “He knew it a long time ago.”

“You think he told Chloe?”

“No,” she answered. Yes, of course she thought he told her—at first. But seeing his reaction earlier, she was certain he didn’t. “No, I think he wouldn’t do that,” she repeated silently. And then she groaned. How could things turn upside down? She was the one who was supposed to be angry at him, and now she felt like she needed to apologize. She knew he knew that she thought he told Chloe and somehow, she knew he was hurt by it. She saw it in his eyes.

And he was angry too.

“What’s wrong?” Pauline asked.

“Nothing, I think I need to go out and be alone for a while,” she sat up and climbed out of bed.

“Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yes, I am,” she lied once again. “I’ll be back before dinner.”

 *****

She was under her usual tree, just sitting there, when Jack Carter’s voice spoke up.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re J. Green?” he asked, his face shadowed by the sun behind him.

Julianne looked up and smiled. “I didn’t think it was necessary,” she answered.

“The hell it is!” Jack cried. “I could have given you the job in an instant!”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I was thinking I needed you to fill a more important slot in this stupid show. But if you had told me you’re J. Green, I would have knelt down on the floor to ask you to accept the writing job.”

She scoffed. “No, you wouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he sighed and grinned. “So, what is someone like J. Green doing here?”

“I want that job, I told you that,” she scooted as he sat down beside her.

“What for? You have an amazing career writing amazing stories,” he pointed out.

“I wanted to do some research and expand my knowledge about television and stuff.”

“For your next novel,” he stated matter-of-factly.

She nodded.

“I can get you out of this show if you want,” he offered.

She snapped her head towards him, “You will?”

“Of course. I know you can be a lot of help for my next project. If you want, I can make another contract. You can say no the next Rose Ceremony if ever Zachary picks you again.”

That was a really tempting offer, she thought. And she wanted to grab it. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary,” she shook her head.

Jack looked shocked. “You don’t want to get out of here?”

“Of course I want to. But...” her voice trailed off. She didn’t know why she said no. “I have a deal with Zach. He’s going to let me go after the top four.”

“What does that really mean?”

“I will be in the top four, but after that, I will be going home. I won’t stay for the top three. That’s what our deal is,” she explained.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but I smell something else. He obviously likes you and you…you are getting a little fond of him, I can tell,” he grinned at her.

Julianne snorted, “You’re wrong. Zach is annoying as hell and I will never like someone like him. He’s a player and he only wants me because he can’t get me that easily.”

“Nah, I think he genuinely likes you,” Jack waved off. “He was angry earlier wasn’t he?”

“Yeah,” she answered, not knowing where Jack was leading.

“He was angry because you thought he told Chloe about your little secret,” he stated.

“How did you—”

“I’m the man behind the cameras, Julianne. I see everything. And I’m pretty good at reading faces.” He stood up, his eyes focused on the horizon. “Whatever’s bothering you, I think you should get it over with once and for all. You wouldn’t want regrets once it’s time for you to go home, right?”

She didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She couldn’t understand what he was talking about—or maybe she did and just chose to ignore it. She was still denying the fact that she had something to patch up with Zach. She was still in denial that she was starting to like him and she was aware of that. She was not just ready yet. She couldn’t like Zach because she had to leave soon. That would complicate things and she didn’t know how to handle things from there if ever. She was an expert at making up a very complicated plot and she was an even greater writer for writing things to work out. But in real life, she lacked experience at matters of the heart.

Shit, she was going deeper.

“I have to go, I have work to do,” Jack smiled down at her and walked away.

 *****

Just as when his anger was subsiding, it flared higher when he saw Jack Carter walking towards Julianne under their tree. Yes, it was their tree. He owned the island and he owned that tree. Julianne liked that tree and he shared a few intimate moments with her under that thing. So yes, it was theirs. She couldn’t share it with anyone like she was doing now, talking and smiling up at that man.

If the director was a big, stocky fifty year-old, it would have been fine. But the man was young, handsome, and was great at his job. Zach, as much as he wanted to deny it, was intimidated by the man and he felt threatened. Julianne was all smiles when she was with Jack Carter. And he couldn’t even get her to smile like that.

Infuriated at himself and at her, he stayed inside his cabin like a kid having a tantrum. He only went out when it was time for dinner.

 *****

And it was the most awkward dinner Julianne ever attended. The ladies were still obviously afraid that Zach was still in a sour mood, but it seemed that he wasn’t. In fact, he was acting great as usual. But there was one big difference.

He was completely, utterly, perfectly ignoring her. She was not used to that. Every time they were in this situation, his eyes would always travel towards her, trying to catch her gaze. But now, it seemed that she was not there. Julianne tried to act cool about it, but the longer she stayed in his presence, the stronger the feeling that he was still angry.

Chloe and the others were getting a little bit more comfortable now that Zach seemed cool about what happened and that there was a possibility he completely forgot about it. The rest of the night was just not what Julianne would call perfect.

 *****

Seeing Zach ignoring her was what she had wanted from the start. Now, she was not sure if she wanted it anymore. The situation was still the same the rest of the week. Once, she even thought of coming to his cabin to talk to him, tell him she was sorry, but fear of being shoved away stopped her.

It was the night of the next Rose Ceremony that she found out how Chloe managed to know about her identity as J. Green. She was just entering the kitchen when she stopped upon hearing the girls giggling.

“It was easy, really,” Chloe bragged, “her computer was on and Pauline was asleep. I was shocked of course when I saw the documents and the draft of the story. I was completely stunned. Who would have thought Julianne is J. Green? I know I read her story and I was awed. But now, I change my mind. I don’t like the book anymore.” A round of chuckles and giggles rang around the room.

Julianne took a step back and walked away. So that was how she found out. The bitch trespassed inside her room and checked her computer? What a sneak!

And now she was utterly sure that Zach had nothing to do about it and guilt washed over her strongly. She threw him an accusing look that day a week ago and he was hurt. She should really apologize. But how? He was not even talking to her anymore. Hell, he was not even throwing her a glance.

 *****

Zach was suffering for days now. A lot of emotions had been swirling inside him. Bitterness, longing, yearning, and…sadness, he was not even sure. He didn’t know how to point it out, but he felt like hell. He wanted to go near Julianne, talk to her, annoy her like he used to, but he couldn’t. For once, he wanted to know that she regretted ever thinking he would betray her trust. It was important for him that she trusted him.

So, yes, okay, his past and initial actions shouldn’t be regarded as honest and loyal, but he knew how she treasured her privacy. He respected that and he never, not even once though he wanted to brag about her achievements, did he ever mention her pen name to anyone.

It was time for the top eight Rose Ceremony and he had another surprise for the girls. Tonight, two girls would be staying behind tomorrow and go back home. While the rest, he would take somewhere far and different—Julianne included.

 *****

“Ladies, it’s time for another heartbreaking event,” Brent said with a solemn tone. “Tonight, two of you will be left behind to go home tomorrow morning. The others, those who will remain, will have the opportunity to go somewhere else.”

Excitement and glee crossed the features of each and every one of the girls that surrounded Julianne. She, on the other hand, was busily looking at Zach who was staring at everyone apart from her. She wanted to talk to him.

What if he doesn’t choose me this time? What if he will eventually let me go? She asked herself.

That will be what you want, right? Another part of her asked.

Actually, she didn’t know if that was what she wanted tonight.

“Zach? Are you ready?” Brent asked the same question he asked every time.

His face serious, Zach nodded and stepped forward. The roses were wheeled in and he picked one up.

“Julianne,” he uttered her name without emotion.

Of course he would hold on to the deal, she thought. Without anyone nudging her, she walked up to him and took the rose. No speech this time. He just gave her the rose, not even meeting her eyes. She took it and walked to where Fatima was. She could feel the pang in her chest. She was not supposed to feel it, but she did. And it hurt.

“Chloe,” he announced after saying her name and Chloe, with relief in her face, walked up to him and got the rose. She gave him a peck and Julianne almost fumed.

 *****

Zach didn’t dare look at Julianne’s face and he concentrated at the task on hand. His eyes roamed around the ladies. He saw Hanna and reminded himself that he couldn’t pick her. She had almost jeopardized his chance with Julianne. Chloe was a bitch, he knew that, but she had to stay. That was what the producers wanted anyway. He called Pauline’s name, followed by Stella, Amanda, Kim, Penny, and Tanya.

The unlucky two, Jenny and Hanna had tears in their eyes as they hugged their friends.

Brent stepped in once again and said, “Hanna and Jenny, it was nice having you girls around, but Zach made the decision. As for you girls,” he grinned at the ones holding their roses. “We will all be leaving this island first thing tomorrow. Where? That’s another secret, right Zach?”

Zach forced a smile and nodded. He wanted to get the hell out of this island. He would have more time to talk and be with Julianne where they would be going. Tonight was not the right time, he thought. But tomorrow, he would try to talk to her. And she’d better say something to ease his mind.

Chapter 16

The ladies were not so very happy to leave the island the next day. The only remaining Bitch, Chloe, was feeling a little lost now that her best buddy was gone, but she soon found company with the Romantics, Tanya, Penny and Kim. Everybody knew she didn’t like Kim that much because Kim was Asian and well, Chloe got race issues. Add that one to the things Julianne hated about the lady. The Desperadas, namely Amanda and Stella, were found to be talking in secret the whole time they were waiting for the boat. They were probably scheming on how to get Zach to wherever place they would find themselves at.

Pauline and Julianne spent their last remaining hours taking pictures, much to Pauline’s insistence. Julianne was able to breathe once again when Brent came and announced that they had to leave right that moment. Zach was nowhere in the boat and Brent said he was already on his way alone to the ranch.

“Ranch?” Chloe asked aloud, horror on her face. “We’re going to a ranch?”

“Yes, ladies, you’ll all be living with the horses and some other animals from now on.”

A collective groan escaped from the group of ladies wearing their usual dresses. Julianne held a grin. Good thing she wore pants.

“Where is it?” Tanya asked.

“It’s somewhere in New Mexico, but the exact location will be a secret. Mr. Astor wants his privacy whenever he goes there.”

“Privacy,” Julianne heard Chloe scoff.

“Will we have to like step on mud and shit?” Kim asked innocently.

Brent appeared to be thinking for a moment before he said, “That depends on how you would like to impress Zach. For everyone’s information, Zach likes spending time in that ranch. He manages it himself. And he’s a terrific horseman.”

“I can’t ride a horse,” Pauline whispered beside Julianne.

“Me either,” she answered. She would never, ever ride a horse. She had been on one and it was not such a great experience.

 *****

It took long hours of sitting on the plane before they finally landed and were driven to the ranch. Not one of them had ever been near where the van was taking them. The scenic view kept them preoccupied for almost three hours until they reached the said ranch. Not one crew was obedient as to tell them how vast the Astor ranch was which everyone deduced to be probably really vast.

Zach was already waiting for them outside a really big house made of wood. It was very much like the cabin they left on the island, just bigger and more modern. It was surrounded by acacia trees, shading it from the heat of the sun. What Julianne knew about ranches was that they always have barns and stables and this one got those just some meters away from the main house. Men in cowboy boots and hats were everywhere, doing their own work, trying to be oblivious of the fact that the place was swarming with cameras and crews and beautiful ladies.

Jack Carter was already setting up camp and directing his men when the girls finally jumped out of the van, their wide shades on. Zach smiled at them and Julianne couldn’t help but see the difference on his face from the last time she held eyes on him. He was more relaxed here, his face radiant and stress-free. He was dressed in a white long-sleeved shirt and dark pants and boots. He had a dirty brown hat in his hand as he approached them.

“Hello, ladies,” he grinned. Well, obviously, he was over what happened a few days ago in the island. No anger in his eyes now. But they still wouldn’t meet hers.

Obviously, he was still angry at her, Julianne thought with disappointment, not that she was not planning to say sorry because she would eventually—when she got the time.

“Welcome to the ranch. Were you surprised?” he asked with boyish excitement. Julianne wished he would look at her and give her that boyish look of his.

The girls nodded their heads.

“Why don’t you settle in your rooms? We have plenty and I think you’ll all have one for yourselves.”

And he was right. Julianne was relieved she could finally get a room for herself. She just didn’t mention that to Pauline. She liked her friend’s company, but there were just moments that she longed to be alone, to think and do her work without someone barging in.

“Hey, it’s time for a little get together,” Fatima’s voice said, her head peeking through the door with a smile.

“I’ll be down, thanks,” Julianne replied, standing up.

The vast living room was already full of cameras and some of the ladies were already there. Pauline waved at her to come close and she sat beside her. It was such a wonder how the ladies managed to fumble through their luggage to find suitable yet glamorous clothes fitting for the ranch.

“Good afternoon, once again, ladies,” Zach greeted them, his hands on his hips. “Today, I’ll have a date.”

It was like everyone got shot from behind for they sat upright with excitement.

“With Pauline,” Zach beamed and Julianne’s friend squealed. She wanted to cover the woman’s mouth, but she let her have her moment. After all, it was the first one-on-one date she would have with Zach.

“Can you ride?” Zach asked Pauline who frowned. “Well, then I guess that’s our date. By the end of this day, you will be able to,” he smiled at her warmly and Julianne looked away, not comfortable seeing him smiling at anyone other than her, most especially at Pauline. Yes, she considered Pauline a friend and she understood that this was a show meant to be open for every lady to feel happy. But seeing Zach acting like she didn’t exist was like torture.

Half an hour later, Pauline left with Zach with their horses, and Julianne was once again left with the others who, by the looks on their faces, were not so happy to be left behind. She knew she could be the subject of their frustration if she stayed indoors so she decided to go out and stroll around, see if she could find another tree for herself.

 *****

“I’m really happy I get to do this with you, Zach,” Pauline told him with a grin. She was actually a pretty good learner. In just one hour, she was able to climb on the horse and ride it alone without his assistance. They were far from the house now, just riding their horses and talking.

“You’re good, I think you’re born to do this,” he uttered.

“Well, I hope so.”

Zach cleared his throat, not sure how to ask the question he so wanted to ask since he got Pauline alone. “So, how are the other ladies since…you know, that incident?”

Pauline’s voice lit up, “Oh, you mean when you got angry?”

“Yeah,” he answered reluctantly.

“They’re back to their old selves,” she answered.

“And Julianne?”

Pauline looked at him with a frown. “What about Julianne?”

“How is she taking the news that everyone knows about her secret identity?”

“I don’t know, that girl doesn’t really talk,” Pauline answered. “She’s really weird.”

There was something in her tone that Zach didn’t like at all. And her way of calling Julianne that girl gave an impression that she didn’t want to associate herself with her friend. “Weird, yeah, I know that,” he decided to encourage what she obviously wanted to say.

“I know she considers me her friend, but she’s just…I don’t know…different,” Pauline shrugged.

“I thought you two are close?” he uttered, trying to sound casual.

“Yeah, right,” Pauline snorted, and then she closed her mouth. “Sorry, I know you might think I’m bad or something.”

Actually, he was starting to think the worse. But he had to drill her if he wanted to know what the woman was really like, because obviously, Julianne was wrong about her and so was he. “No, that’s fine. I respect your opinion. I would want to know more about the other ladies from your own point of view,” he urged.

Pauline flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Well, I can’t really judge all of them, but despite what everyone thinks, I’m not really into Julianne that much. Everyone made me feel like an outcast because of her. She was showing everyone we were friends. We don’t even talk that much,” she said without pause.

Zach’s jaw clenched. “I really actually thought you were close.”

“I had no choice,” Pauline sighed. “She had no friend and I thought I should have someone to be with especially now that Brenda is gone. You know, you might not like to hear this, but since you asked for the truth, I think Julianne planned it when Brenda and I were gone and the two of you searched for us. She obviously wants your attention and I think she fooled you by being the silent, withdrawn one.”

Zach nodded his head slowly, but he could feel the rush of anger rising up his throat. He ground his teeth, biting back the nasty words. He thought Chloe was the conniving one, but Pauline was worse. He knew Julianne considered her a friend. Well, she chose the wrong one because the lady was too desperate to put her down.  “Well, that’s a good thing to know,” he forced out bitterly. “I know something’s wrong with her, I just can’t point it out.”

Pauline smiled her usual goody smile which now appeared wicked and creepy to Zach. “I even wonder why you even keep on giving her a rose. I bet she has some hold on you or something.”

Zach did not answer because if he as much as opened his mouth, he couldn’t imagine the ugly words he could throw at her. “I think it’s getting dark. We should head back. We still have an hour for our return trip.”

It was the most agonizing trip he had to share with any of the ladies. Pauline wouldn’t shut up about how she was grateful that Julianne didn’t have to share a room with her because the lady just didn’t sleep. He wanted to shove one horse feet down her throat when she started talking about Julianne’s insistence on wearing her thick glasses and how she found it annoying to look at.

So okay, he didn’t like Julianne’s glasses, but it was a part of her that he wouldn’t wish to change if she didn’t want to.

When he took off with Pauline that afternoon, he thought he would be riding with an angel. By the time they arrived back and jumped off their horses, he was pretty convinced he rode with the devil’s mistress.

He had to get that talk with Julianne before it was too late.

 *****

But no one could find her. She was nowhere.

“What do you mean Jules is missing?” he asked Jack when the director approached him.

“Your men said they saw her walking south, that way,” the man pointed with his thumb. “I asked them to search, but no one can find her.

Zach cursed. Of all the bad luck he could receive!

He looked up at the sky and cursed once again. A storm was coming, and it looked like it would not be light at all. He gathered his men and arranged for another round of search. Jack offered the help of his crew, but unlike the island, he had men that were more skilled. The crew would only get sick and plus, radios wouldn’t work at the kind of weather that was about to come.

“Just stay here,” he ordered, “Don’t let anyone out. I can’t have more missing person when I get back,” he added before he left to climb on his horse.

How could ladies be so dumb to always get lost? The rain had started pouring and the clouds rumbled.

He was riding with one of his men. He was somehow confident they would find Julianne. After all, all of them were used to finding missing cows or horses.

“I bet she’s in one of the cabins around here,” his right hand said, shouting over the noise. The wind was getting stronger now. Zach agreed. There were cabins scattered everywhere the ranch for shelter when things like storms happened without warning.

“Okay! You tell the others to search the nearest cabin near them! I’ll go search the east side of the house. There are only two cabins there! If this thing goes stronger, stay in one and postpone the search!” The moment he finished his orders, the man galloped away to spread the news. He couldn’t risk losing more men. He would search for Julianne on his own if he had to.

He urged his horse to run against the raging wind to the direction of the cabin nearest the house. Nearest meant about half a mile away, but still, Julianne could have not noticed the distance when she went away that afternoon.

The only thing he feared was the thought that she was not in any of the cabin. That she could be anywhere under another damned tree was unacceptable for Zach because there were hundreds of trees around. As he fought the strong wind and the stingy splatter of the rain, he prayed Julianne was safe and warm in a freaking cabin.

 *****

“Shit,” Julianne uttered once again, shivering from head to foot. She looked through the window and almost fell back when a branch scraped it from the outside. She couldn’t see a thing. The rain and the wind were not making it possible for her to see clearly. She took off her glasses and wiped them with the towel she found in one of the cabinets. She looked around the small cabin and thanked God it was intact. There was a match on top of a small fireplace and the logs were dry.

Of all the luck she could get, she got the least favored one. She never noticed that she was too far away from the house when the wind started to change and the first drop of rain fell down. She had been strolling and thinking along the stream that she was oblivious to the sudden change of weather until it was too late. The cabin was nearest than the house and she took her chance. Good thing it was empty. Bad thing was, it was well-hidden behind a number of trees. No one was bound to find her in this kind of weather, she thought.

For a moment, she worried about Zach and Pauline being caught by the storm, and she only consoled herself by thinking Zach was used to ranch life and he would know something before they actually happened. Right now, she had to think about herself. She was cold and shivering. The cabin was stocked well enough with a lot of blankets and she used those to dry herself. She was just about to take off her clothes to let them dry out when the cabin door burst open with so much force that she literally jumped up in panic.

Her eyes had gone wide and her breathing stopped for about a few seconds as she tried convincing herself that what she was seeing was no illusion.

“Zach?” she stuttered.

He was drenched from head to foot, and water was dripping down his clothes while he looked at her, his chest heaving.

“Jules,” he said in a whisper. Just that name came out of his mouth but it told Julianne everything he was feeling—relief, tenderness, and something deep. He rushed towards her and crushed her against him with so much force that the air was snatched out of her. “Thank God you’re okay,” he murmured against her wet hair as he held her closer.

Chapter 17

He was crushing her too hard. “Zach, I can’t breathe,” Julianne uttered.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he sighed, not hearing her.

“Zach, I can’t breathe,” she repeated.

“I’m sorry,” he said and let her go. As his warmth left her and as the cold came rushing back to surround her, she had the sudden urge to pull him right back. But his eyes turned blank again, like it had been these past week. The tenderness and the concern she saw earlier that almost melted her were gone.

Julianne cleared her throat and bent her head, feeling awkward. She felt him step back and walk towards the door to shut it close. This was her chance to say she was sorry, to patch things up, but her tongue was betraying her and no words could come out of her mouth.

“I believe there’s food here, have you eaten yet?” Zach stated, looking around but her. He walked to the small cabinet in the corner of the room and started searching.

He was still dripping wet. She wanted to tell him to get dry before he got sick, but she couldn’t. She was speechless. She was afraid. She was afraid he’d brush her off.

He came looking for you, he still cares, a voice deep inside her nudged.

He feels responsible. I’m on his land and whatever happens to me will be on him, she reasoned out.

But you still have to say sorry, you dimwit, another voice urged.

“Zach,” okay, that did not come out right because it was more like a broken whisper. “Zach,” she croaked, louder this time.

“I only have canned goods here,” he uttered without looking back at her, and it seemed that he didn’t hear her call out his name. “You should dry up, Julianne,” he added, standing up, his back still facing her.

Oh God, he was still angry. He called her Julianne. He never called her that whenever they were alone.

“Zach, I’m—”

“We better build a fire,” he did not let her finish her sentence. “Go change your clothes, there are some over there,” he motioned with his head at the little bed across the room.

Julianne’s eyes started to water. He was completely ignoring her. Well, not her, but he was not hearing her at all.

“Julianne,” he prodded.

Before he could turn his head and see her eyes, she nodded and said, “Okay,” and then she turned around, her tears falling. Her nose was clogging and she so wanted to sniff but that would give her away. She couldn’t let him see her that way. She walked to the bed and saw the basket under it that she had not noticed before.

With a weak hand, she pulled it out and saw some clothes. They were big and were definitely made for men, but they would do. They were dry and clean after all. She tried to change without making a sound, using the big cloth she had around her for cover.

 *****

Of course he knew she was trying to say something. He just didn’t want to hear whatever it was yet. He was still shaking inside from the fear that overwhelmed him earlier when he was thinking the worst that could have happened to her.

If she was going to say sorry, he would gladly say it was nothing. Damn, he would even jump with joy.

But, if she was going to say something else like ‘I want to go home, so please let me go,’ he didn’t know if he could handle that. He was still trying to figure out what to say to both situations if he would finally give her the chance to talk.

He decided to keep himself busy for a while.

 *****

The only sound was the angry wind outside and the constant rumblings. Zach was busy building a fire by the time she finished. She was drying her hair quietly sitting on the bed. Her eyes now dry, she watched him do his work.

“I’ll open some cans,” she said in a whisper, walking to the cabinet, partly wishing there was a can opener.

He shot to his feet and said, “I’ll do it, just rest and stay in that bed,” he ordered none too gently. He walked across to the cans and started working.

Julianne was getting frustrated and she cried out, “Zachary, stop whatever you’re doing!”

His shoulders stiffened. He was not moving now, but he was not moving around to face her either.

“I want to talk to you and you’re trying not to,” she said, her voice shaking.

“What do you want to talk about?” his voice asked, free of any emotion, more like guarded even.

“Can’t you turn around and face me?” she asked.

“Just spit it out,” he said.

Julianne did not say anything for a long time and when she was sure he wouldn’t face her, she uttered, “I want to say I’m sorry I doubted you. I shouldn’t have, I know. And I’m sorry.”

She held her breath as she watched him heave and let out a sigh. Slowly, he turned around and she was almost taken aback by the look on his face.

He was freaking grinning, a look of relief on his face. She looked at him with confusion.

“Thank God you said that,” he breathed out.

“What?” she asked with a confused look on her face.

 “I was afraid you’d say you want out,” he grinned guiltily.

“I said I’m sorry,” she repeated her statement. She wanted to know if he was willing to forget about what happened.

“I know,” he shrugged. “I forgive you, Jules,” he walked towards her this time. “I just needed you to say that. You know I will never betray your trust, right?”

Reluctantly, she nodded. She knew him enough now to know he was telling the truth. Yes, he had done some childish, compulsive things, but he was a man and she knew he would hold on to his words.

He was standing just inches away from her now and she could almost touch his warmth. His hands cupped her face, his green beautiful eyes looking deep into hers. “I will never break your trust, Jules,” he whispered, his lips breathing feathers against hers. Julianne didn’t dare push back when his mouth claimed hers. That would be too masochistic on her part.

The same familiar sensation, that mixture of eagerness and warmth and yearning, flowed up to her like wildfire. She circled her arms around his neck, answering his kiss with desperation.

If she would get one moment that she could have for herself in this show, this was it. She wanted to have Zach for herself even for one blissful night. She would be going home soon, she better take something with her. That way, there would be no more what-if’s. If she couldn’t get him for herself, which would be impossible, she at least would want to have him now. Because by the time the storm was over, she would have to share him with the others.

Now, it was out in the open. It was the main real reason why she didn’t want Zach. She couldn’t share him with anyone. If only things had been different, if she didn’t hate this show, if she was not afraid to fight for him, she could have him. But she couldn’t risk that. She was not sure if she could handle being sent home on his will.

That was why she wanted out. That was the reason she had been trying to ignore. But it was out now and her conscious self—for what was left of it right now as she was losing herself in his kiss—finally accepted it. So yes, she would take this moment. And then she would go as planned.

Decided, she held Zach closer, opening herself to him. She wanted this and she was not ashamed of it.

She felt his hand traveling down her spine in glorious ardor and her senses—all of them—flared up like a rocket. She leaned closer, arching her back against his hands.

If it was a sin that she initiated the unclothing, then she would gladly go to hell for that. If it was a mistake that she pulled Zach towards the bed, then she would not dream to do the right thing ever again. Because right that moment, she felt like she was nearing heaven and she was pretty sure she was doing the right thing.

 *****

Zach was certain that this time, no one was going to stop them—unless Julianne changed her mind. But that was not going to happen either, he thought, because she was the one doing the aggressive moves. He must be freaking dreaming. And if he was, he would never dare wake up.

Their breathing, ragged, raspy, and heaving, danced as they gave in. Skin to skin, breath for breath, they lavished the moment. They held each other tight as they joined the raging storm outside. Their voices were muffled by the angry thunder as they cried in passion.

He adored every inch of her and so did she. The world spun around them, and Zach finally realized something bigger than what he imagined or intended.

 He loved her.

He didn’t know how he found that out, or how he discovered that one, but he was certain, finally certain, that he was utterly in love with Julianne. He had gone from playing shenanigans to amusement to longing and finally, to loving her.

“I love you, Jules,” he whispered a moment later, his breath raspy against her ear, his skin moistened with sweat despite the cold. His heart was hammering against her breasts, partly out of exertion, the other out of what he discovered. When he felt her stiffen, he rose up on one elbow and cupped her face toward his. “I’m serious, Jules, I’m in love with you.”

Looking down at her, he saw it in her eyes. Behind the shock was disbelief.

He had the sudden urge to shake her, to make her believe him.

“Most guys say that after sex,” she whispered with a smile. “So don’t worry, Zach, I was not asking for something big like that.” She tilted her head and kissed his nose.

“Jules…” he started to whine, but her eyes were already closed. “Jules,” he prodded.

She was sleeping, or was she? Was she trying to avoid the topic? With a sigh, Zach dropped his weight beside her and pulled her close, resting her head at the crook of his arm. He tugged the blanket over them and planted his lips against her head.

He would let her get over the shock for now, but he was certain he couldn’t let her go. Not when he was finally certain about something for the first time in his meaningless life.

If Liam was here, his friend would laugh at his face and tell him, “I told you so!”

Hell with Liam—and hell with the bet.

 *****

Julianne woke up with the sound of rain still splattering outside the windows. Opening her eyes, she felt Zach’s chest against her cheek, his bare chest moving with even breathing. Slowly lifting her head, supporting her weight with her elbow, she looked down at him. He looked so peaceful, he might as well be dreaming of something wonderful and serene that she wanted to see it as well. She pulled at the blanket and covered her chest with it as she looked around for her clothes. With a smile, she shook her head, finding them across the room. How the hell did they manage to crawl all the way there? Surely Zach did not throw them that far, right? But of course, she would never know that. After all, they were busy with something else last night.

Not a splinter of regret was bombarding her as she made her way out of the tiny bed without waking Zach. Her stomach rumbled while she hurriedly dressed, and mind you, she was looking stupid grinning to herself. Though the storm was not at all calming down, she was feeling…happy. With no sunshine outside, she felt totally happy.

She went to where the canned goods were and searched for a can opener. There was none. Frowning, she turned around and looked at Zach with hesitation. Should she wake him up? Walking gently toward the bed, she peered down at his calm sleeping form.

And then she remembered.

And she froze.

It would have been better if she thought it was a dream, but she was completely awake, as she remembered, when he uttered those words.

“I love you, Jules,” he had said.

You might have heard wrong, part of her thought.

“I’m serious, Jules. I’m in love with you,” she remembered him say.

Now, that can’t be just some crazy sound waves messing up your brain. I guess you really heard right, the voice inside her said with certainty.

Julianne groaned and covered her face with her hands. It couldn’t happen. No, he was just so into it last night he didn’t know what he was saying, she reassured herself. But what if he was serious? What if he would wake up and repeat those words to her? What then? What would she do?

Chapter 18

Zach woke up with the most amazing feeling he had ever had. Even before he opened his eyes, he felt somehow…renewed. At first he wondered why, and then he remembered last night. Jules, he uttered.

Moving his head, he felt for her and for a moment, panic rose up his gut. He sat up and smiled when he found her standing across the room, facing the misted window. “Good morning, Jules,” he greeted with a stupid grin.

For a moment, he saw her stiffen, and then she turned with a small smile on her lips. Zach frowned.

Something’s wrong, his mind reeled. And he knew what. He had told her he was in love with her—which was true. And she didn’t believe him. “You don’t believe me, don’t you?”

“Believe what?” she asked, feigning confusion. “I can’t open the cans,” she looked away from him when he didn’t answer.

“Let me,” he offered, grabbed his trousers and dressed up. She was placing the cans on the table for him while he grabbed his knife from his belt. “You should believe me when I say I love you,” he uttered.

He felt her stiffen. He looked up to stare at her, trying to tell her with his eyes that he was serious.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Zach, so just…” she trailed off and turned away.

He reached for the cans and started opening them, transferring the rising frustration he felt to the blade. “I’m not a child as what you might think—”

“You are a child,” she interjected a little bit harshly. Her face was still turned away from him. “You’ve been acting like one since I met you, Zach.”

“I know what I feel,” he insisted, stabbing the blasted can with his knife purposefully.

“We had sex—”

“We made love, that’s different,” he cut in, stopping his work and looking at her with an irritated stare. “Hey, Jules, look at me, just turn around and look at me, damn it,” he cursed.

She whirled around, her eyes strong, her eyebrows stitched in a line. “What?”

“I love you. What do you want me to do to prove that?”

Her eyes wavered for a second as their gazes battled. She did not utter a word and just sighed.

“You want me to ditch everyone? I’ll do that. Which reminds me…” he continued opening the can as he said, “remind me to not give your friend a rose next ceremony.” His tone was full of bitterness as he said it.

“Who? Pauline? Why?”

“She hates you, you know,” he said honestly. “You should have heard the words she said against you yesterday. You can’t trust any of them, Jules. I don’t want you to get hurt that’s why I’m telling you this,” he added when he saw her hurt look.

“Pauline? No…she just probably—”

“Hates your gut,” he cut in, finishing her statement in a completely, honest way. “Be careful around her, Jules.”

“So you’re just going to ditch all of them?” she scoffed after a while. He looked up and he almost cried with frustration when he saw her doubtful look.

“You don’t believe I can do that,” he stated matter-of-factly.

She must have realized he was not joking because she turned away once again.

“You know what? I don’t think you don’t believe me when I say I love you,” he said, trailing back to their real topic, “you don’t want to believe me because you’re afraid.”

“Of course not,” she answered too quickly, “I just know that men like you are too impulsive with your feelings,” she faced him once again, this time, her face calm and her eyes gentle. “And I understand that. I’m not that shallow. I completely understand, Zach, and really, I don’t want you to feel pressured because of what happened.”

“Jules, the only pressure I’m feeling right now is the urge to shake you and make you see that I’m damned serious,” he almost shouted.

“I just can’t believe you right now, Zach, I just can’t…”

“You can…you’re just afraid you might feel the same way,” he whispered.

“We’ve only known each other for what? A month? And half the time I spent it trying to calm myself because you’ve been like a child. And I don’t think that’s enough to make you say you love me,” she said indignantly.

“Fine, stay then. Stay until this is all over. I’ll pick you in the end and we’ll have a proper date,” he challenged, silently praying she would say yes.

“No,” she answered, shaking her head and his feelings sank. “We had a deal.”

He nodded slowly, “And I won’t break it, I promised you that. But don’t expect not to meet me after this is all over, Jules. I will still find you after this,” he said with conviction.

“Are you planning not to choose anyone in the end?” she asked.

“If you stay, I’ll pick you,” he shrugged, not willing to answer her question. He didn’t want her to know about the bet. Because if she did, he couldn’t imagine what she would say.

“I’m still going away. I’m only staying until the top four.”

“Yes,” he whispered, turning the knife in his hand as he said so, “I know. But I promise you, Jules, you will see me again after that.”

She looked at him for a long time before she uttered, “We’ll see about that.”

 *****

We’ll see about that? What the hell did she mean by that?

Zach chose to let the topic go because he didn’t want to make her feel smothered talking about it. She was too stubborn and it was getting in his nerves. Why couldn’t she just say she believed him? It was not like he was asking her to say the words right back.

Okay, maybe he was wishing it like a dying man, but he would still respect it if she would say she didn’t feel the same. It would be still be his pleasure to make her love him.

But then again, her outright denial of his feelings told him he should work harder. He didn’t have much time left before she would go home. And he knew Julianne well and that she would really go after the top five, in love or not.

“About Pauline,” he said while they were eating from their cans, “please be careful around her.” He would have said the manipulative bitch instead of her, but he knew Julianne considered the woman her friend.

She nodded slowly, “Are you sure she hates me? She’s been nothing but nice,” she uttered, sounding confused.

“Trust me, Jules, that woman hates your gut. Just be careful around her, that’s all,” he said seriously.

“Okay,” she nodded, “I’ll take your word for it,” she finished with a shy smile.

Wish you’d take it seriously about that other matter I told you about, he said in his mind, not daring to say it out loud. Julianne had the tendency to fuss over things like that.

He knew her enough to know that. And she said they didn’t know each other that well. What was wrong with that?

He knew enough about her. He knew that she couldn’t see without her glasses. For instance, if he would grab and throw the damn thing away, she wouldn’t even see her own hands; he knew she liked her hair up though he loved it when she put it down; he knew she ate without reservations; he knew she must have been probably be alone her entire life, but that was about to change because he intended to be with her the rest of her life; he knew she took her writing seriously. And he knew she had feelings for him. She might not admit that, but he was sure of that.

Now what would he do about it? How could he make her smash the wall she had put up before herself? How would he make her give up and just accept that they just had to be together?

There were too many questions, too many plans, and too little time for actions. Because she would be leaving soon and he fought the panic that was starting to wake inside him once again. He had to stay calm and alert if he wanted to win her.

Huh, funny. He should be the one to be won over, but he found himself trying to win Julianne.

 *****

The rain finally calmed down by the middle of the day. Neither of them spoke about the fragile topic they had talked about that morning. But she did not avoid him when he sat beside her on the bed, holding her hand in his. They stayed like that for a long time, just…just like that. No talk, no other activities, just sitting there, leaning against the wall, holding hands.

The sound of an engine finally stirred them and Zach reluctantly let go of her hand to go to the door. His horse was in the stable and a truck was coming their way.

“Rescue’s coming,” he announced, waving his hand. His right hand man was driving the truck toward them. Julianne was already standing beside him, her face full of relief.

 *****

Julianne knew she would be arriving to a group of seven girls with sour, accusing faces. And she was right. Every one of them was looking at her accusingly like she did something wicked—all of them, except Pauline. Her friend—should she even consider the lady as one after what Zach told her?—ran towards her the moment she and Zach entered the door, damp from the light rain outside.

“Julianne, thank God you’re okay,” she sighed, hugging her.

“Of course I’m okay,” Julianne answered reluctantly patting the girl’s shoulder. She could see Zach’s annoyed look from the corner of her eye.

Pauline let her go with a smile. She couldn’t smile back. She couldn’t force herself to. Honestly, the woman was making her feel creepy right now.

“I’ll meet you later, ladies,” Zach said, tipping his hat at them with a smile. “I think I need some rest.” He left them and climbed up the stairs to his own room. Unlike in the island, he had to share the house with all of them.

“Tell us, where did you go, Julianne?” Chloe’s voice asked when they were finally alone.

“At some cabin near here,” she answered, walking to the stairs. “I need to have some rest, ladies, it had been a long night last night,” she couldn’t help but add. She smiled inwardly when she heard their gasps behind her.

If she couldn’t find a friend among them, she had to be strong to survive before she left. Pauline might prove to be Chloe version 2.0, so she better not be frail.

 *****

After showering and putting on fresh clothes, she went down and found Jack Carter sitting in the living room with some papers. “Where are the ladies?” she asked, sitting across him on the couch.

He looked up and shrugged, “I don’t know, probably trying to pick Zach’s door lock,” he grinned.

Julianne snorted and closed her eyes. She suddenly felt tired.

“So, what happened?” Jack boomed and when she opened her eyes he winked at her knowingly.

“Shut up,” she groaned.

“Fine, let’s talk about something else then,” he placed down the paper he was holding on the free space beside him and turned to her, stretching his arms behind him. “When do you want to start working?”

Julianne frowned. “What do you mean?”

“The writing job,” he explained.

“Is it still open?”

“Are you kidding me? For J. Green, it is open.” He beamed at her.

She smiled, “Can I start once I leave this show?”

“Sure, that will not be a problem. That’s what we talked about anyway,” he said, his eyes trailing at something behind her.

Slowly, she turned her head to see what caught his attention and she almost chuckled with amusement when she saw Kim disappearing into the kitchen. “Okay, I think someone got a crush on someone,” she said with a teasing tone.

Jack, for the love of God, flushed red.

“Oh my God, really?” she gaped. “I didn’t know that…really?”

“What?” he asked laughingly.

“Jack, you like her!”

“Of course not,” he scoffed and stood up, snatching his papers. “I have to go to work,” he muttered.

Julianne laughed, “You mean you have to chase someone.”

“Shut up,” he uttered and walked briskly towards the door and out the house.

She was still chuckling when she saw Zach standing by the bottom of the stairs, his face dark.

Her smile wavered.

Oh God, what did she do now?

Chapter 19

“What were you two talking about?” he asked, his brows in a line.

“Nothing,” Julianne answered, standing up, and walking to the door. She didn’t have time to entertain his jealous rages. She had enough trouble with the girls already, what with them treating her like she was invisible. And though Pauline was still acting like a real friend, she couldn’t anymore look at her the same way as before.

Really, the world was just full of nasty things.

“You were laughing with him,” he pointed out behind her it almost startled her that he was able to dash that fast towards her.

“And?” she asked, irritated now. What the hell was his problem?

“Jules, what’s really going on between you two?” he asked, grabbing her by the arm.

“Do you know you’re acting like a child?” she hissed at him.

“I can’t help it. I’m starting not to like seeing you around him,” he said with a frown. Julianne wanted to scratch at his handsome face because he was acting like a stupid child.

“What? I can’t have fun with other people now?”

“No, it’s not that,” he said in haste. “I’m just curious. You seem close to him and I’m wondering why,” he said with as much patience.

“He’s good to me and he makes me comfortable,” she answered in a whisper. She knew some of the girls were in the kitchen. “Look, Zach, we might have shared some stuff but it doesn’t mean that you can intrude in everything that I do,” she said it while looking straight in his eyes.  With that, she left him there standing in the middle of the room.

He could date more than one woman and he expected her to be exclusive? This was what she had feared. Zach had the tendency to be so childish and possessive. He was proving to her she was right.

 *****

Zach paced around his room like a lost puppy. He knew what he did wasn’t right, but Jack Carter was just the man who could scratch the wrong nerve.

“Zach?” a knock came on his door.

“Yes?” he answered unconsciously, still in a jealous rage.

“It’s Fatima, can I come in?”

He sighed and closed his eyes. Fatima always talked to him to plan the next activities. “Yes?” he asked as he opened the door and found her standing outside with her clipboard.

Does she sleep with it too? A part of his mind asked.

“There’s a little rage on the internet about your date with Pauline,” she said, handing out a piece of paper.

He frowned, “I’m sure they didn’t like her after everything she said about Jules?”

Fatima cringed, “As a matter of fact, they do like her.”

“What?” he scanned the paper and his eyes widened in disbelief. “Why the hell do they think Pauline’s the most honest person in the competition?”

“They believe that her courage and honesty to tell you about her friend’s…uh…wrong side…is…uh…something to be praised for…”

“Wrong side? Jules got no wrong side,” he snapped, “people don’t know what they are talking about.”

“Well, actually, Julianne’s reputation outside the show is not really good. She doesn’t really make that much effort to make people like her.”

“It’s because this show is not her thing,” he said with disgust. “You’re just here to tell me that?” he asked.

“No,” she shook her head. “I also came here to tell you that the producers want Pauline to stay. They know you favor Julianne more and they must have thought you would send Pauline home because of what she said about Julianne.”

“They want me to keep Chloe the last time,” he reminded. “I can’t take more orders from them.”

“They want her to stay until the top four. The ratings are really good with Chloe and Pauline in the show.”

Zach’s jaw tightened. “What else?”

“What?”

“What else are you going to tell me?”

“Oh,” Fatima’s eyes glinted with understanding. “You’ll be playing Spin the Bottle with the girls tonight.”

“Truth or dare?” he asked incredulously. He had never played that game since ever.

“Yeah,” Fatima nodded.

“If they ask me who I hate most among them, can I answer truthfully?” he asked sarcastically.

“Uh, if you’re going to say Chloe or Pauline’s name, I don’t think that will be a good idea.”

Zach nodded his head slowly, “Thanks for the heads up.”

Fatima stepped back and he closed the door behind him. He threw the paper at the far corner of the room. Damn everyone. Damn every freaking producer of the show!

 *****

Julianne just stared at Zach when he joined them later that night. Everyone was in their pajamas—if you would call them that—waiting for him when he entered the room. He was wearing a light shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. Fresh as usual, of course, and that night she shared with him in the cabin came rushing back to her that she had to look away and focus her eyes on the empty, shining bottle of wine in the middle of the room.

Fatima had already asked them to gather around the floor in a small circle. Chloe and Tanya took out some wine after dinner and they drank it while they waited.

The first sight of the bottle made everyone squeal and squeal more when they learned that Zach would be joining them.

His face was not really in the mood for some games though and she could see that. She wondered if it was because of what happened earlier between them. Julianne shook that thought aside. He couldn’t very well hang on to that unreasonable act, right?

But when his eyes met hers, she knew he was not that over yet. She could sense that he wanted to talk more. Thank God for the girls for that because she didn’t want to talk to him about some useless jealous issues he had. It was childish, simple as that.

“Hi, ladies,” he greeted with a dry smile. He dropped down on the floor across from her, beside Kim who scooted away to give him room, and joined the circle. “I see we’ll be playing some game…”

“Yeah, Spin the Bottle,” Chloe answered, nodding her blond hair, tucking some behind her ear.

Pauline was seated beside Julianne and she didn’t know if it was normal or not that she felt she wanted to push her fake friend away every time she leaned close to whisper something in her ear. Julianne would usually just smile and nod, but it was never like before. She was disgusted at the thought of Pauline talking behind her back and it both crushed her and angered her at the same time.

“We should start,” Tanya said excitedly, clapping her hands and clasping them together.

Kim smiled at everyone mysteriously as she leaned over to take the bottle. “Zach should spin it first,” she suggested, giving it to him.

Zach shrugged and did what he was supposed to do and the bottle spun around. Everyone looked anxiously as it slowed down, the tip travelling from one person to the other until it finally landed on Pauline.

The ladies gave out exaggerated gasps as Pauline smiled and excitedly said, “Dare!”

“Pick the dare, Zach,” Stella urged, pushing a fish bowl full of little rolled papers towards him.

Zach did and when he unrolled it and read, Julianne noted that his lips turned to a straight line.

“What is it? Just say it, Zach, I’m dying here,” Pauline said beside her. Julianne, for the first time, wanted to tell her to shut the hell up and stop her act.

“Kiss someone you like on the lips,” Zach finally said.

Julianne felt her ears ring and heat up with an identifiable emotion. And Pauline was squealing like she won the freaking lottery and Julianne wanted to grab her precious blond locks in one hand and drag her out of the room.

“Kiss…kiss…kiss…kiss…” the women cheered though their faces didn’t look that pleased. Who would want to see one of their opponents have a shot with the prize? No one—not even Julianne.

Julianne’s eyes looked at Zach’s and he was silently communicating to her that he didn’t want this either—or so that was what she wanted to believe. Pauline had already crawled all the way across to Zach, her face hidden from Julianne’s view.

She looked away just in time when the howls of the girls erupted in the room when the act finally happened. She couldn’t bear to look. It was like looking at a stranger using your own toothbrush.

“Okay, I think I need to breath now, Pauline,” Zach’s voice said and that was when Julianne finally had the courage to look. Pauline was crawling her way back beside her and her fake friend was beaming at her like she should be happy as well. Julianne tried to smile but she didn’t know if it worked. The hell she cared anyway. She couldn’t stomach Pauline’s presence right now.

But when she looked at Zach, her temper eased down a little. He was obviously wearing a sorry face and that was enough for her. She didn’t expect anything from him what with their situation in this show, but she was grateful for it anyway. It told her he didn’t like the kiss. That was good enough.

“I’ll spin, right?” Pauline asked everyone with a contented smile. Everyone nodded without a word. Obviously, Julianne wasn’t the only person unhappy about that kiss.

Pauline spun the bottle and once again, everyone looked anxiously, but not with the same excitement as before. Who would be exited now? The kissing dare was now gone and so there couldn’t be any dare left that would be as pleasing, right?

But the game must go on anyway and when the bottle stopped, it stopped right at Kim. The Asian beauty gasped and giggled. “Truth,” she uttered and Stella pushed the other fish bowl toward Pauline who should be the one to read the question.

“Oh, this is easy,” Pauline said mysteriously. “Who do you like?”

Kim’s eyes went to Zach but it was Julianne who noticed that she was not directly looking at the bachelor. She was lost staring somewhere behind Zach and she almost gasped when her eyes spotted Jack Carter standing in the shadows behind a camera, holding a bunch of papers and wearing a pair of large earphones. Could it be possible?

“That’s not even a question,” Kim said far too late that even her sarcastic remark sounded feigned for Julianne.

Julianne smiled inwardly.

“Okay, it’s my turn,” Kim said over the laughter that escaped everyone’s throats. She spun the bottle and it pointed at Zach.

“Truth,” he stated and the girls groaned in protest. They would rather want some action than hear the truth from him.

Stella gave the Truth Bowl to Kim who read the question, “When was your last sex?”

Everyone’s smiles were gone and their eyes looked at Zach and then, for everything that was holy, seven pairs of them hovered at Julianne unwillingly. That moment, Julianne knew what the girls had been thinking about that night she and Zach were gone.

 *****

“Three months ago,” Zach lied in perfection. Not saying he was a good liar, but he recognized the murderous stare Julianne was receiving. He was not really shocked to know that the girls would think something happened that night they were gone because one, their malicious thinking was right even though they didn’t know that, and two, he would think the same thing if he was them. So there really was no choice but to lie right now.

Not to save his ass, but to save Julianne’s. If he answered truthfully, she would as much just close her eyes and she would be dead by morning. He couldn’t have that. He was not willing to know how far the girls would go just to get him.

“Really? That long?” Chloe cried in disbelief when his answer finally sank in their minds.

He nodded and scratched his head. “Didn’t have much time for that lately,” he shrugged and to stray their attention somewhere, he grabbed the bottle and spun it saying, “It’s my turn…”

And he almost jumped with joy when finally, the tip pointed at Julianne.

He raised an inquiring eyebrow when she didn’t say a word.

“Uh, dare,” she uttered and he knew she was not at all thinking when she said it.

Stella pushed the Dare Bowl at him and he prayed for something nice as his fingers tried to feel around the rolled papers. Finally, picking one up, he opened it and read. He wanted to jump right there and then. “Okay,” he cleared his throat. “Your dare is to lock yourself inside a dark room for five minutes with the reader of the dare while the game is going on.”

Seriously, he tried real hard not to grin.

“Can’t I change to Truth?” she asked warily.

“No, I don’t think so,” he answered even before anyone did.

Julianne groaned and reluctantly stood up. “Which room?”

“The guest room is not used,” he offered, pointing at the room across the hall.

She just nodded and walked ahead.

“Does the camera come along?” he asked Jack Carter.

Jack shrugged and it was good enough for him.

He looked at the camera man who talked behind them, opened the rolled paper and pointed it right at the camera. “Remember…ALONE…read that?” he asked, pointing at the word. The camera guy sighed and shook his head, but stepped back and went back to the girls who were more dismayed than anyone.

Julianne was already inside and was just about to click on the lights when he said, “Oops, no lights, Jules—just a dark, empty room and you and me.”

She looked at him dryly and entered the room. Giddy, he followed after her and almost slammed the door behind them. The only light inside was the one from the post outside. He could even barely see her face, but her glasses reflected enough light for him to look straight into her eyes. “We really need to talk about earlier.”

“What is there to talk about?” she asked in a whisper.

“I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I just don’t like seeing you with Jack Carter, that’s all. But really, I will try hard next time.”

“And?”

“And what?” he asked curiously when he saw her expectant look.

“And?”

“What else did I do wrong?” he asked, trying real hard to dig into his memory. “About Pauline kissing me? Come on, you know I didn’t want that.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“Why did you lie?”

Really, that question was the least thing he expected to hear. It did not even register into his mind that fast. What the hell did she expect him to answer earlier? The truth? Was she freaking insane? Did she want to get murdered this young?

Chapter 20

“What do you mean by that? You want to get murdered in your sleep by me telling them that I just had sex a few nights ago?”

He saw her lower her eyes in embarrassment. “No, I just wanted to know why…okay, forget it…” she went to a chair just a few paces away and sat up.

“You should be careful around those women. They’re like tigers,” he whispered, sitting on the floor beside her chair.

“Still can’t believe Pauline…” she sighed.

“She’s a manipulative bitch, sorry for the word,” he grinned. “You deserve better than to be friends with any of them. They have a goal in mind and they are desperate to get it.”

She looked down at him with a faint smile. “Thanks,” she said in a whisper.

“I don’t suppose you want to talk about my growing feelings?” he asked reluctantly. He saw the look on her eyes and he said, “Okay, I don’t think so,” and he heard her chuckle. About a full minute passed with just silence and when he finally spoke once again, his voice was somber. “I can’t send Pauline home.”

He looked at her and when she didn’t say anything, he cringed.

“The producers want to keep her until the top four,” he explained. “People kind of liked her after our date.”

She snorted. “They liked her after she told you she hates me?”

“Yeah, sort of,” he frowned. “They found her honest and true.”

“Yeah, right,” she said dryly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s fine. You don’t control everything. It’s not like I was really expecting you to send her home.”

“I was planning to,” he interjected strongly. “I don’t want people reading you all wrong, Jules.”

 *****

Julianne felt her heart swell gratefully. She didn’t doubt his words—apart, of course, from the I LOVE YOU thing. She smiled and looked ahead through the window. “Thanks.”

He checked his watch and said, “We only have one more minute left.”

“And?”

“I think we should spend it wisely,” he grinned at her wickedly before he stood up and took her hand to guide her to her feet. She didn’t complain when he pressed her closer against his chest and kissed her ever so gently. She had done more than that with him so why push away? She was supposed to get whatever she could, right?

“Okay, I think it’s enough,” he rasped out a moment later. “How do I look?” he asked her.

Confused, she frowned up at him, “What do you mean?”

“Do I look like we just kissed? You know those ladies out there. They will know.”

She smiled and looked at him through her glasses. Reaching up, she righted his hair that somehow got tousled by her fingers and wiped away a smudge of lipstick from his lips. “You’re good to go,” she finally uttered.

He grinned down at her and brushed her hair with his fingers. “You’re good to go, too.”

“Okay, time’s up!” Pauline’s voice said from behind the door.

“I hate that voice,” he groaned and Julianne chuckled.

“Get used to it. You’ll be around her until the top four.”

“If I can still look at her, that is,” he complained, leading her toward the door.

It opened before he even reached out for the knob. Pauline’s beaming face popped in and said, “Come on, you two!”

Julianne shook her head and went out with Zach behind her.

 *****

The game ended not in the way everyone expected it to be. Even Zach himself was confused when Jack Carter’s authoritative voice spoke up and said that they had enough taped for the show and that they all better get to sleep.

It all started when the bottle was once again pointed at Kim who, this time, chose to have a dare.

It was Julianne who read it. “Do a lap dance on Zach.”

Everybody cheered except Zach and Julianne—and Kim. Her face was flushed and Julianne saw her look behind Zach once again, right where Jack Carter was seated. Pauline and Tanya pushed her on her feet and told her to do it.

Pauline and the others were clapping their hands while cheering her name.

“Okay, I think we’ve taken enough for today,” Jack’s voice boomed, stopping everything, and silencing everyone. Even the camera guys looked stunned and confused for a moment. “Zach is tired, right, Zach?”

Zach, for the love of him, nodded his head vigorously and shot to his feet. “I’m sorry, Kim, but I think we’ll have to do it next time,” he gave a wink and then his eyes met Julianne’s. She could see the relief in them that she almost laughed.

Zach was not the only one who looked relieved. Kim appeared like a big stuck needle was finally pulled out from her foot. She was absently looking at Jack Carter whose back was turned as he wrapped his things up.

Julianne reminded herself that she should talk with Jack tomorrow. Obviously, something was going on between the two of them, but neither was courageous enough to talk.

 *****

Julianne was sitting alone outside the balcony that night. Most of the girls had already gone upstairs to sleep, but it seemed that one was still up.

“Hey,” Kim’s voice said behind her. Julianne looked over her shoulder and smiled faintly.

“Hey,” she greeted back. “You’re still up?”

“I can’t sleep…” Kim said, walking up to her and stood beside her. “So, listen, I was just wondering…we were wondering…” Julianne could sense she was trying to say something.

“What?”

“Me…and the girls…we were wondering what’s going on between you and Jack?”

Julianne tried to hide the knowing smile on her lips. “No, there’s nothing. We’re just…friends,” she looked at Kim as she said it and surely, the relief she saw was too great that it made her smile. “Why?”

Kim’s face flushed. “Nothing, I was just wondering—”

“You know, I think he likes you,” Julianne decided to just blurt it out. The guy was an ass for letting this drag on and Kim was still being reluctant.

Kim looked stunned. “Who?”

“Jack,” Julianne shrugged. “I think he likes you. I’ve seen him many times looking at you, you know. And I’m pretty sure you were the reason why he stopped that lap dance.”

Pure joy washed over Kim’s face. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.”

“You’re not just saying this because you know that if I...that if I go to Jack, you will have less competition, are you?”

Julianne chuckled. She, at least, admired the lady’s tactful remark. “No, I’m saying this because Jack is being a stupid man and you’re being shy. You two should really talk.”

“I’m not talking to him, he always annoys me.”

It was Julianne’s turn to be surprised. “You talk to him always?”

“Yeah, every morning in the island, he would join me for a run. And he’s been annoying as hell, so you must understand why I have difficulty believing you.”

Julianne chuckled. The sneaky bastard was having his morning run to be with Kim? All the while she thought he was doing it for fitness’ sake.

“Don’t worry, he’ll come around,” Julianne finally said, looking at Kim with a smile. A plan started to form in her mind.

 *****

“Hey,” she whispered to get his attention. She found him in the kitchen, making a bowl of cereal. Zach looked up with a grin.

“Hey, Jules, glad you came to talk to me. You don’t usually do that.”

“I have a huge favor to ask,” she came near him, her voice low.

“As long as it doesn’t concern sending you home, sure,” he stated carefully.

“First, I want to ask if you like Kim,” she looked at him.

“Of course you know the answer to that,” he looked at her dryly. “I don’t like anyone else other than you. But I don’t like you either because I love you.”

She ignored his last remark and said, “Then help me get Jack Carter alone—”

“No,” his face suddenly turned dark and serious.

Julianne looked at him incredulously. “No what? You haven’t even heard my request yet.”

“If it concerns that guy, I don’t think I can help you.”

“This is for Kim,” she insisted.

He looked at her with a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

Julianne looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was around. “Jack likes her, she likes him.”

“And you want to play cupid?”

“Yeah, sort of,” she shrugged.

“You should think about us first before you go helping others,” he said with a boyish frown.

She glared at him and he sighed.

“Okay, fine. What do you want me to do?”

“Talk to Jack. Think of some ways that the two of them can be alone.”

He was frowning as he thought about her words. Then his eyes looked up at her and they were already glittering playfully.

“I got a better idea,” he winked at her.

 *****

Zach didn’t like Jack Carter. That was already given. But if Julianne was right and Jack was having this big crush on Kim, he could get the guy out of the picture. He had nothing to lose if he could help the director get a new girlfriend. As long as it was not Julianne, of course.

He found the man by the stables, looking at his horses.

“Hey,” he said, walking closer. “No date today?” he asked casually.

“None as far as I know,” Jack Carter answered.

“It was a really wrong call last night, man,” Zach said, feigning annoyance.

Jack frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, you know what I mean,” Zach grinned at him. “Kim was about to give me a lap dance. Who wouldn’t want that?”

Carter’s face turned dark and Zach wanted to jump up and down with joy. So Julianne was right! The guy was really into Kim. Good.

“Why did you call it off anyway?” he asked when Jack did not answer.

“Because I know you didn’t really want that lap dance?” Jack snapped at him.

“And?” Zach prodded.

“And what?”

“And you like her, don’t you?” he gave off a knowing grin.

“Who?”

“You know who I’m talking about, man.”

Jack scoffed. “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Kim,” he arched his eyebrow at the director. “Care to tell me about it?”

Jack Carter looked at him for a very long time before the man sighed and shook his head. “Julianne told you.”

“Nah, I guessed it myself,” he lied.

“It’s nothing,” Carter answered.

“Hmmm…” Zach frowned. “That will be a problem then.”

“Why?”

“Because I was planning on taking the girls hiking tomorrow and Kim was adamant on being left behind. I think she will have to come now that you won’t take matters at hand and bore her to death here.”

Jack Carter snapped his head towards him in surprise.

That very moment, Zach knew he was able to succeed.

 *****

“Hey,” Julianne called Kim’s attention later that afternoon. She found the lady in the living room, reading a book.

“Hey,” Kim hid the book behind her and coughed.

“What are you reading?”

Kim’s face flushed. “Nothing,” she said nervously, tucking her long black hair behind one ear.

“Is it my book?” Julianne chided.

And she was surprised when Kim smiled guiltily and nodded.

“Really? You’re reading my book?” she asked in disbelief.

“It’s really great,” Kim said shyly. “Just don’t tell the others,” she added in a whisper.

Julianne made a motion of zipping her lips. “So, anyway, I talked with Jack earlier and he kind of told me he wants to spend more time with you.”

Kim’s eyes glittered and danced with joy. “Really? He said that?”

“Well, not directly, but he agreed to meet you tomorrow for some time alone.”

“But Fatima said we’ll go hiking,” Kim frowned in disappointment, remembering the announcement they got earlier.

Julianne’s shoulders sagged, “Well, that’s a shame.”

A long lingering silence followed as Julianne stared at Kim’s concentrating look. The woman was obviously thinking hard. Slowly, finally, she raised her eyes to Julianne and said slowly, “Well, maybe I’ll be sick tomorrow.”

The two of them chuckled at the wicked idea.

 *****

“So?” she asked Zach, hope in her eyes, later that night.

“He said yes,” he shrugged. “It was easy. How about Kim?”

“She said she’ll be sick tomorrow,” she snorted.

Zach laughed. “Those two better not talk about the talk they had with us.”

Julianne nodded with a laughing grin. “They will hate our guts.”

“But I’m excited for that hiking tomorrow though,” he looked at her straight in the eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” she nodded and looked around. “We better get inside. The ladies will be coming down any moment.”

Zach nodded and started to lead her back inside the house when a honk caught their attention. Frowning, Zach shielded his eyes with his hand as he peered to see the owner of the vehicle coming their way.

“You have visitors?”

“No, but now I think I do,” he said slowly, his heart beginning to hammer for no apparent reason. And then his eyes widened in surprise when he recognized the vehicle. “I’ll be damned!” he exclaimed.

Chapter 21

“Who is it?” Julianne asked, curious now. Zach did not answer, she was sure he did not even hear her question. He was gazing, stunned and stupefied, at the four wheel drive that had stopped just a few meters away. “Zach?” she asked once again, her heart beginning to hammer as well for no reason at all.

“Shit,” he murmured. “That bastard…I’m going to kill him!”

Fatima and some of the girls rushed out the door. They must have heard the car from inside. Julianne stepped away from Zach. There would be trouble if she was found with him.

“The bastard…” she heard Zach mutter under his breath again. Finally, the car’s headlights switched off and the man hopped out from the driver’s side. Julianne frowned. Liam?

“Hey, man! Glad to see me?” Liam howled with a grin. His eyes turned to the ladies by the door and he waved his hand, “Hello, ladies!”

No one answered. Aside from Tanya and Julianne, no one else knew who he was.

“What the hell did you do, man?” Zach asked when Liam jogged towards him.

“Nothing,” his friend shrugged. “They wanted to come along, I offered them a ride, and here we are.”

They? Julianne’s eyes flicked back to the vehicle and her heart stopped. What the hell!

A man and a woman were just getting out. She knew them very well. Hell, everybody knew them very well.

The woman, though she was showing the signs of aging, was as fair as…Julie Andrews. She still had that charm few women had when they got older. She was the living embodiment of grace. Julianne saw it in her eyes and her smile when she greeted her son.

“Honey…” Mrs. Astor’s voice said as she went near her son, her husband, looking grumpy and all so powerful, holding her by the elbow.

On the other hand, Mr. Astor was completely different from his wife. He looked strong and well-built for his age, and maybe that was why he gave off an aura that said, ‘Don’t talk while I’m in the room.’ But he sure looked like Zach.

“Mom…” Zach sighed, his eyes shooting daggers at his friend before he turned to the woman with a smile. “Dad…” he nodded at the old version of himself.

“She has been insisting to see you,” Mr. Astor said, disapproval in his voice. He looked around and added, “Why don’t we talk alone?”

“Sure,” Zach nodded his head. “Let me introduce you first to my guests,” then he bent down and planted a kiss on his mother’s cheek. “Glad to see you, mom.”

As he straightened back to his full height, Zach met her gaze for a second. Something in his gaze told her his mood was not the same as before his visitors arrived.

 *****

Zach didn’t want to be alone with his parents. He wanted to be alone with Liam and beat the hell out of the man. How could he be so stupid to bring his parents here? He would have to talk with the man anyway. They had to talk about the bet.

Fatima had already gathered the girls, Julianne included, in the living room. Jack Carter was busily organizing the camera guys around before the introduction. It was a big surprise and nobody wanted to miss it.

His father was looking everywhere with disapproval. Zach knew he didn’t like the presence of the cameras around. But he couldn’t very well tell them to go away because the ranch was not his. It was Zach’s and he knew that Zach could do anything he wanted in this place. It was the only place he could do anything freely without his dad interfering.

His mother on the other hand, was busily looking at the ladies. Her eyes were like those of a vulture’s, looking and studying her preys. The ladies themselves appeared to be more conscious as ever. But what surprised him was Julianne. She was sitting there still as a statue. Was she nervous? He stifled a chuckle knowing she would hate him if she’d realize he was laughing at her.

Instead, he cleared his throat and said, “Ladies, these are my parents. Mom, dad, meet Julianne,” yes, of course he would mention her first, “Kim, Penny, Tanya, Stella, Amanda, Chloe, and Pauline.” He would have loved to not mention Pauline, but that would be rude and immature.

A series of shy hello’s and hi’s erupted from the ladies. His mom smiled and said, “Hello, girls, now I see why my son was not able to return my calls,” she finished it with a chuckle.

The girls smiled and sighed.

“Now, since you’re all quite acquainted—”

“What about me?” Liam spoke beside him. He glared at his friend. He was hoping he’d have kept quiet.

“Girls, meet Liam, Liam, the girls…now,” he turned his attention back on the girls, “I’m going to have some private talk with my parents. Maybe later we can all enjoy their company…” he looked at his father for an answer. He gave a short nod as he clasped his hands together. “Great. We’ll see you in a while, ladies…Liam will be joining you, right?” he asked his friend. Liam just shrugged and nodded.

He looked at his mom and took her hand. “The study?” he asked his dad.

The man nodded and with one last glance at the ladies, he said, “Nice to meet you,” he turned and walked to the study.

Zach was startled. He never expected that from the man. That was a good sign, but still, he couldn’t be too sure since there were cameras and his dad might have just been acting.

Once inside the study, and the moment he shut the door, his father turned to him and said, “Why haven’t you been answering our calls? Do you know that your mother was going half-crazy with worry?”

Okay, honestly, he didn’t expect that. He looked at his mom. She seemed okay. “Dad, they air the show every week. Surely you must know that I’m okay.”

“It’s different,” his father snapped. “And I don’t watch the stupid show.”

“Couldn’t blame you…wouldn’t watch it myself either,” he murmured.

“I watch it,” his mother said from across the room. She was already seated at the couch beside a large global miniature. “I even like one girl.”

He was almost afraid to ask. “Really?”

“Yes, I like Julianne,” her eyes were twinkling as she stared up at him. “You like her, don’t you?”

He could almost feel himself blush. It was not his thing to talk about girls with his mother. “Yeah,” he shrugged, pretending his heart was not fluttering with happiness.

“Poor girl,” her mother clicked her tongue. “You should not give that girl Pauline a rose,” she suggested.

“I couldn’t do that, mom,” he sighed. “The producers like her.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually serious about this,” his father uttered, walking over to the liquor cabinet.

“I’m serious about one girl,” he answered, his eyes on his mother. “She’s a writer,” he said proudly.

“Yes, I know,” his mother nodded.

“You do?”

She rolled her eyes. “I know a lot of people, Zachary. It didn’t take long to find out about every one of the girls.”

He gaped. “You researched on every one of them?”

“And she was very meticulous about it,” his father sighed, sitting beside his wife. He then looked at his son, his eyes serious. “Zachary, if you’re not serious about this game, you better end it soon. I don’t think I will like the publicity if things go wrong.”

“Don’t worry, dad, it’s going to be fine,” he tried to make himself believe his words as well.

He was not sure about how it would end with Julianne, but he would make it sure he wouldn’t give up without a fight. If she chose to leave and he would have to go on with the show alone, he would have to patiently wait until everything was over before he would hunt her down. She might not like it, but he was not planning to give up. And as he stood before his parents, he found out that the bet did not matter anymore. His friend could laugh at his face. He would deserve it for thinking love didn’t exist.

“Do you suppose she will sign a copy for me?” his mother asked giddily.

“What?” She lost him for a moment there. “You mean you read her book?”

“We both did,” she motioned her head towards her husband.

He looked at his father in disbelief. The man looked away guiltily. What the hell?! Could this be any real?

Now he was beginning to think that his parents’ visit would be to his advantage.

 *****

Julianne couldn’t understand why she was suddenly nervous. She knew the girls were already planning on how to impress Mr. and Mrs. Astor, but she was not about to go there. She was confident with herself and she knew herself enough to even think of trying to impress others. But still, she was nervous. She couldn’t point out why.

It was not a good sign, she knew that. It meant that it mattered to her that Zach’s parents would find her suitable. And as much as she hated herself for even thinking along that path, she couldn’t stop.

She looked at Pauline talking to Liam who was surrounded by the girls. She was seated nearby but she didn’t care if people would think she was trying to be noticed by staying away. Kim was staying away. In fact, the lady was talking with Jack Carter in the kitchen. Amusing, isn’t it? To see something going on, other than the bitchiness and the flirting, was somehow relieving. And the way Jack and Kim looked at eachother, Julianne wouldn’t be surprised at all if Kim would decide to leave.

“Tell us what really happened in Vegas,” she heard Pauline ask Liam.

Liam, loyal as ever to his friend, avoided the topic by saying, “I crept inside Zach’s room and we slept together like tigers,” and as expected, the girls burst with mirth.

Julianne just shook her head when Liam looked at her and winked.

She was the first to notice the study door opening, revealing Mrs. Astor followed by her son and husband. Julianne straightened in her chair and looked away.

“Ladies, my parents will honor us with their presence during dinner. So…” Zach looked at his mother as he said, “my mom wishes to know each and every one of you better.” He then looked at her and like his friend, he gave her a wink. Her heart began to hammer. No, she would be completely speechless if his parents talked to her.

“I hope dinner’s ready?” Mrs. Astor asked his son.

“Yes, of course,” he led her to the dining room and said over his shoulder, “what are you girls waiting for? Time to eat!”

As Julianne stood up from her chair, she couldn’t help by notice that Zach was in a pretty good mood. Whatever happened inside that study must have been good.

 *****

The girls were quiet throughout dinner. Every time his mother would open her mouth, everybody would turn their heads and listen like she was a freaking preacher about to bring them salvation. Zach was finding it amusing that even Julianne was doing it, but in a much subtle way. His father chose to be quiet as usual and that was fine with him. The man was always quiet you wouldn’t know what was on his mind. Liam on the other hand, had been gazing at him like a moron and he would give anything to have his fork stuck into his friend’s eyeball.

When dinner was done, his mother invited them for a cup of coffee, which everyone obliged with giddiness. His father invited him for a game of chess. Liam decided to roam around, transferring from one group to another. Right now, his friend was with Julianne and Kim, and he had been throwing Zach a taunting look from time to time.

If his friend as much as mention about the bet, he would crush him.

But so far, Julianne and Kim seemed to be enjoying his company.

 *****

“So, Julianne, how is life here?” Liam asked her.

“It’s fine, it’s good, I think,” she answered with a nod.

“We haven’t met before, right?” he asked Kim.

“Yes,” Kim answered. Then she suddenly turned toward Julianne. “Hey, can I ask you a favor?”

Liam leaned away, probably knowing he shouldn’t be listening.

“Sure,” Julianne said.

“Can you sign my book?”

“Later,” she answered with a smile.

Kim gaped and looked at Liam. She turned her face back towards Julianne and said, “I shouldn’t have mentioned it, right?”

“It’s okay,” Julianne said, looking at Liam.

“I already know you’re J. Green. Mrs. Astor told me,” he shrugged.

“She knows?”

Liam chuckled. “She did her research, I guess.”

Julianne just nodded. It was weird to know Zach’s mother researched about her. Was she pleased to find out she was J. Green? Or was she disappointed? “Anyone want to have water? I’m going to get some,” she asked Kim and Liam.

They both shook their heads. She got up and went to the kitchen, her mind full of questions.

 *****

“Checkmate,” his father uttered before standing up.

“What?” he asked in disbelief. He looked at the remaining pieces on the board and groaned. “Not again…”

“Practice, son, practice,” his father said, walking away.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to talk to one of the girls,” he said.

“Who?” he asked in alarm.

“Not your business,” his father muttered as he walked away.

Zach’s heart leapt when he saw him walking toward the kitchen where Julianne just walked in.

 *****

Julianne was pouring herself a glass of water when the voice said, “Can I have some?”

She froze and looked up. “Mr. Astor,” she uttered.

Of all the luck, she found herself in front of Zach’s father.

Chapter 22

“Mr. Astor…” she stuttered once again.

“Julianne, right?” he asked, walking closer.

Julianne nodded.

“Water?” he asked, his eyebrows arched.

Once again, Julianne nodded. Why was she speechless?

Oh, yes, because she freaking expected Zach’s mother to talk to her, not his freaking father!

She swallowed as she poured water into a clean glass and handed it to the old man.

“Thank you,” he uttered, eyeing her with curiosity. “You know, for someone of your reputation, I find it quite hard to believe that you’re in this show among all these women…” he said, his voice straight and serious.

Julianne swallowed all over again. Damn, what the hell was wrong with her tongue? “Well, a slight problem occurred and led me here,” she stated, not really ready to offer more explanation.

“Julianne, I’m going to be honest with you.”

She nodded when his eyes locked with hers. God, it felt like she was looking at Zach’s eyes—the older version.

“I know my son,” he started in a low voice. “He acts too impulsively—this,” he motioned with his hand, “this show is a perfect example of that. He does whatever his mind dictates him. But I want to tell you, as his father, that whatever this is between you two, might not be as what he wants to believe.” He looked at her for a long moment before he sipped his water.

Julianne’s heart was racing now. Why did she feel like crying? Why?

“Zach, sadly, is still a child inside. He’s been pampered too long for his own good that he thinks everything is easy to get. I’m not saying you should not believe him. I want to believe what he really feels right now is real myself and I would not even contradict for having you as a daughter-in-law,” Julianne blushed at that last words, “but I’ve seen quite enough in the past to think otherwise. I’ve seen how you looked at him during dinner, Julianne, and I think it will be good for you if you keep your guard up. I love my son. I do. But he’s been a pain in the ass since he knew how to kiss a girl and I don’t want another scandal coming from this show.”

Julianne was near to tears. Mr. Astor hit the right spots. Those were the very same things that had been holding her back since the very beginning and now that she heard it from another person—his father, in fact, of all people—she now strongly had to force herself not to get too involved.

Slowly, she nodded and smiled. “I know. I understand, Mr. Astor. I’ll keep that in mind. Don’t worry, I’ll be leaving here soon. I will make sure that Zach understands that what he thinks he’s feeling is nothing but a weird infatuation.”

Mr. Astor looked at her for moment. He appeared like he wanted to say something else, but he held his tongue. He stepped back and smiled. “Thank you for your understanding.” And then, he was gone, back out into the living room.

Julianne suddenly felt weak. She needed to breathe.

How could she have been stupid? She was right all along. Tonight, she was beginning to believe that Zach and she could actually be possible. But Mr. Astor himself approached her. His father, his own flesh and blood, the person who knew him best, talked to her and told her his doubts that reflected hers from the moment she heard Zachary say those three words.

And now, realizing that she might have been probably right all along, that Zach was just having a childish fantasy of true love, she felt crushed. Hurt. So much hurt her tears welled up.

For heaven’s sake, she couldn’t admit she was in love with him now. She couldn’t let things get complicated.

But what if Zach’s right? What if he’s really telling the truth and he really is in love with you? That hopeful part of her asked.

Time will tell, she told herself, composing her features. When she left, and if all of this stupid show would be over and he would still want to be with her, she’d think about it. But for now, they were in a confined space in front of the cameras, with all the ladies and everything. Here, they had the thrill of hiding what they had been sharing from all the ladies. Here, they were living a fantasy.

Love in front of cameras would never be the same once out in the real world. So, yes, she would give it time. And she had to be on guard.

 *****

Zach saw his father coming out of the kitchen and he started to move but Brent suddenly appeared in front of him with a grin. “Time for a Rose Ceremony.”

“What?” he asked incredulously.

“We had enough shoot for next week,” Brent shrugged. “I don’t know, but I was ordered for a Rose Ceremony,” the host turned around and saw his parents. “Your folks are here?”

Zach nodded.

Brent beamed. “All the more exciting,” and then he turned around, walking toward his father. “Mr. Astor, sir, good evening. I’m Brent—”

“I know who you are,” his father snapped.

His face flushed, Brent turned away and walked towards the ladies. He cleared his throat.

“Oh, oh…Brent, this is a really bad timing…” Chloe uttered.

“Oh, oh…it’s my job,” Brent almost snapped. He was probably still not over the fact that Zach’s father snapped at him. “So, how are you all enjoying this little visit you got?”

“Great...” Pauline beamed. Zach groaned at the remembrance that he couldn’t send the lady home yet. His eyes looked for Julianne. She was standing at the kitchen doorway, her eyes at Brent. What had she and his father talked about?

“Zach, if you will please step right here?” Brent called his attention.

“Yes,” he answered and walked beside the host. A crewman wheeled the roses in and Zach counted them. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes, Zach,” Brent chuckled upon seeing his reaction. “You will send home two ladies tonight.”

Gasps of shock erupted from the ladies. “Two?” Amanda asked with fear.

Brent nodded his head slowly. “Yes, two…and without further interruptions from me, I will leave it for Zach to decide. So please, line up and let’s get ready to roll…”

Slowly, the ladies who were surrounding his mother got up with fear in their faces. He saw Julianne from the corner of his eye come forward. Her face was unreadable, and that was when he knew something was wrong. He got nervous all of a sudden. He would be sending home two ladies tonight, which meant their days together were nearing their end.

Frowning, he looked at the roses, and the ladies, in turn. He couldn’t send Chloe and Pauline home. That would leave him only four more spot. One, of course, was already for Julianne. The other three, he would have to blindly pick. Kim would of course have her chance to accept or not considering her growing relationship with Jack Carter.

With one hand, he picked up a rose and looked at the ladies. His mother was seated beside his father at the far corner of the room, away from the cameras, waiting for his decision.

“Julianne,” he uttered. Don’t complain. Of course he would always pick her first. “Will you accept this rose?” he asked when she finally came forward. His eyes silently searched hers. He already knew what her answer would be. He was looking for something else. Like any sign of what might have happened inside the kitchen with his father earlier.

“Yes,” she whispered, lowering her eyes so he couldn’t see through her.

He gave a short nod and continued on with his task. Picking another rose, he called out, “Kim.”

Kim walked slowly, her eyes confused, her feature unsure. She was supposed to be looking at him, but her eyes flickered to his right, just behind him, where Jack Carter must probably be sitting.

“Will you accept this rose?” he asked with a smile, somehow telling her it would be okay if she didn’t.

Her eyes at first were full of questions, but after a few moments, she must have gotten an answer from the man behind him and she said with a smile, “Yes, I will.”

Zach almost chuckled. Jack Carter was not yet ready to let her go. Okay, he would let Kim stay as long as the man stayed away from Julianne.

He picked another rose and called out, “Pauline.” The blonde girl bounced forward with her fake smile and said yes even before he could ask the question. Then he called out Chloe, who, unlike Pauline, decided to be more graceful than usual.

Then, after that was over, when Pauline finally walked away, he looked at the remaining ladies. Penny, Tanya, Amanda, and Stella. He did an eeny-meeny-miny-moe and finally he said, “Tanya.”

Tanya almost leapt up in the air with relief and she hushed out a yes before he could open his mouth. Another eeny-meeny-miny-moe and he blurted out, “Penny.” And the moment he did that, the last remaining ladies, Amanda and Stella, burst into tears.

“Will you accept this rose?” he asked the red haired girl.

Penny nodded vigorously and took the rose from his hand. The girl was too relieved to even speak.

“Ladies,” he addressed the remaining two, “I enjoyed our time together and I hope that you find your own bachelors.”

The other girls walked from their spot and gave the two crying ladies a hug of goodbye and well wishes. Zach on the other hand, was already deep in thought about another matter entirely.

“Earth for Zach,” Liam murmured beside him. He looked up and saw his friend’s laughing face. Liam handed him a glass of champagne and said, “Go toast with the survivors.”

He dragged himself to face the ladies and survived a toast without looking at Julianne. She was avoiding his gaze and he was dying to know what the hell happened again. What did his father tell her this time?

 *****

Later that night, Amanda and Stella went upstairs to pack their bags to go home. A van was already waiting outside to drive them back to the city where they would spend the night before they could fly back home tomorrow.

Zach attempted to talk to Julianne but Brent had some other news. And this time, he was not alone at the center of his room. He was standing beside Zach’s mother.

Zach frowned at his mother and she just shrugged excitedly.

“Ladies, I think your little hiking trip with Zach tomorrow is now officially cancelled, because, Mrs. Astor here have an announcement to make.”

Zach gaped at his mother in disbelief. He turned his head towards his father with an inquiring look and the old man just shrugged. Liam, his stupid friend, was chuckling beside him.

“Hi, ladies,” his mother greeted. “For a long time, before Zach took over this ranch, my husband and I had been sponsoring this little orphanage just outside of town. It is called House of Angels.” She looked at each lady with a warm smile as she continued, “And tomorrow, we will visit them…together.”

The ladies leaped in excitement. Really? Children excited them? Or were those responses just for her parents’ eyes? His eyes diverted towards Julianne. She was not looking good at all. She was pale like she was seeing a monster.

Now, what the hell was wrong?

What was getting into her?

 *****

Julianne was just purely shocked and terrified at the same time. She didn’t know if she would like to come tomorrow. She could pretend to be sick.

But that would be Kim’s excuse tomorrow.

“Hey,” Zach whispered beside her. She stared at him and looked around.

“What?” she forced out a gentle smile on her lips.

“What’s wrong?” his green eyes searched hers.

“Nothing,” she frowned. “Why?”

“You don’t look so well,” he pointed out.

“No, I’m fine,” she shook her head and adjusted her spectacles. “I have to get some sleep,” she added, looking at the crew packing their cameras away. Mr. and Mrs. Astor had already retreated into the guest room after the announcement earlier. Liam was still hanging around in the balcony with Chloe and Pauline. Kim was somewhere and Penny and Tanya had already gone upstairs for their beauty rest.

“What did you and my father talk about earlier?” he asked, holding her by the elbow to stop her from getting away.

She looked up to his eyes and she thought it was a mistake. What she saw there was the same tenderness that she wanted to desperately believe everything he had said in the past. That what he thought he felt was really real. “Nothing. He asked for some water.”

“It took him quite a few minutes inside. You talked and I want to know about what.”

“It’s…it’s about my book,” she lied.

Lying was not that difficult for her, but when it was Zach’s green eyes looking down at her, she found it really difficult. “Your book?”

She nodded. “He was curious how I got the idea for the plot. Zach, I’m really tired. We’ll have a long day tomorrow and I need some rest.”

Slowly, Zach nodded. He looked around and when he was sure no one was there to bear witness, he bent down and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. “Good night, Jules,” he grinned down at her flushed face.

“Good night,” she murmured and half-ran all the way up the stairs, her heart hammering. Good God, it was just a simple kiss but the effect was still as unnerving.

She hastened to her door, opened it, and entered the dark room. Blindly, she walked to her bed, sat down, and calmed her senses. She took off her glasses and laid them down on the bedside table, not bothering to light the lamp.

Long gone was the memory of Zach’s kiss. The moment she entered the darkness of her room, she was once again reminded of their visit to the orphanage tomorrow. She couldn’t see a thing now, but memories flooded her brain. Not of Zach’s but of the past she had tried to bury.

With a deep, aching sigh, she lay down on her bed, her eyes wide open, as if trying to close out the memories that would surely flash before her eyes the moment she closed them.

God, help me…she prayed.

Chapter 23

Zach was riding in a separate vehicle with his parents and Liam. He didn’t see Julianne since last night and he was dying to get her alone to know exactly what was on her mind. He was very well aware that she was bothered about something.

“I hope Kim is alright,” his mother said from the back.

“She’s gonna be fine,” he answered, driving the four wheel drive along the cemented road toward the orphanage. It was one of the only few concrete road in the area. “The other crew members were left behind and she’ll be fine.”

“Wonder why Jack didn’t come along,” Liam uttered beside him with a frown. Liam had grown fond of the man since they started talking last night.

He didn’t try to answer that one. One, because he didn’t care what Jack Carter was doing with Kim right now, and second, he was pissed with his friend. He was supposed to be away and long gone by now. Sure, his parents were welcome to visit and it would be beneficial for him that they would like Julianne more than her mother already did. But what he couldn’t figure out was why Liam was still clinging to him to the point of being a nuisance. The secret knowing glances he threw him brought him on edge. The bet was what brought his friend here and he was here to assess. Liam was good at assessment since he works with Astor Industries as a consultant apart from being a shareholder.

“Dad,” he called out, calling the attention of the old man sitting beside his mother. He tried to sound casual as he asked, “You talked with Julianne last night, didn’t you? What about?”

He looked through the rearview mirror to see his father’s face. “Nothing.”

“It’s definitely nothing,” he uttered matter-of-factly. “What did you tell her?”

His dad knew he could read his mind. They think alike despite their differences. “I warned her, okay?” his father finally sighed out.

“You did what?” he boomed, screeching the vehicle to a stop.

“What did you do?” her mother demanded at her husband.

Liam just looked on the family scene with amusement.

“What?” his father looked at all of them in disbelief and shock. “I warned her to keep her guard up.” Then he looked at his son with accusation on his face. “I know you very well, Zachary. You might say you like that woman, but I know you.”

“What did you tell her?” his mother demanded, her face ashen. “I can’t believe you would actually—”

“What did you tell her, dad?” Zach cut in, trying to keep his cool. He had turned around to face his parents.

“I told her that I know you very well and that what you might think you believe might not actually be true,” his father answered, his gaze leveled with his son’s.

His mother gasped.

A very long deadly silence followed as father and son glared at each other.

“I think we better drive on, Zach,” Liam uttered, clearing his throat.

Zach thought that was a good idea and maneuvered the wheels back on the road. His jaw clenched. “We’re not done talking, dad,” he stated.

His father did not answer.

They drove on in silence.

 *****

Julianne’s hands were sweating as they entered the gates of House of Angels Orphanage. She was starting to shake and she fought the fear and the memories that started to creep up inside her. The ladies in the van with her were quiet too, their faces curious as they looked out the window at the white edifice before them. The windows were large, the curtains covering them plain and dark. Julianne tried to do some breathing exercises to relax her nerves.

Pauline had long stopped trying to be nice to her. She was not that insensitive after all and must have noticed that Julianne’s coldness was a sign that she must stop her pretences. So, now, Julianne had no one to hold on to. Kim, the only friend she had in this show, was back in the ranch probably enjoying her date.

“Oh, look at all those children…” she heard Penny say with a smile.

Julianne couldn’t help but smile in return despite her uncomfortable emotions. There was always something about children that could warm anyone. Even the ladies in the van with her had soft spots for the little, innocent creatures.

But some of them are not that innocent, she thought. Some of them went through things you can only imagine in your dreams…

The van halted to a stop and the ladies started to jump out, excitement in their features. Julianne chose to climb out last, her knees giving out. All of them were dressed in jeans, shirts, and closed shoes—basically to appear conservative in some ways, considering the orphanage is being run by Christian nuns.

The four wheel drive driven by Zach arrived a moment after them and the camera men started their work.

Mrs. Astor appeared shaken, but she composed herself to meet a large nun exiting the large doors of the orphanage, the children behind her, all dressed in uniform clothing. Julianne was distracted for a moment when she saw Zach’s face. He looked genuinely pissed. She was almost afraid that he was angry at her, but it was unlikely, she thought, when she saw Mr. Astor’s ashen face.

Now, what the hell happened between them during that ride? Liam looked fine, but his usual happy face was serious. You know, that look of your friends when they witnessed your parents and you shouting at each other? Yeah, that kind of look.

But her wonderings were only for a moment because Mrs. Astor started talking, snatching her attention back to the matter at hand. Julianne tried not to look at the children behind Sister Samuel, as the nun introduced herself.

If you had ever seen Matilda, that movie about a girl with special powers, you must have probably seen their mean principal. Yeah, Sister Samuel looks like her. Take note, looks like her, not really LIKE her, because Sister Samuel is a very soft-spoken woman and she smiles. The children, as far as Julianne had seen, respected her.

Of all the years Julianne was in the system, she rarely met a woman like Sister Samuel. Most of them were strict. Julianne could see and sense that Sister Samuel is one of those who really care. That thought calmed her down a little and despite her hesitation, she was able to force herself to walk the rest of the steps inside the building together with Chloe, Pauline, Penny, and Tanya. Zach and his father were behind them. Liam chose to jog beside Mrs. Astor.

Julianne could feel the tension between Zach and his father, she could almost taste it in her mouth. She walked behind Penny and Tanya. They were chatting on and on about how gloomy the building looked and all.

Well, what did you expect in orphanages? The children living in it are not really happy folks. Everyone thrives inside it, everyday a day of survival and waiting, and hope for some. She was not saying the experience is always bad, but it is not normal. There would always be bullies worse than what you’d get in school. Why? Because they slept with you under the same roof and you’d have to be on guard whenever you found yourself their victim. You’d have to make sure that when you go to sleep, you’d wake up alive. You’d have to make sure you eat your meal fast before they come get it.

As they walked through the marbled floor, Mrs. Astor chatted on about the history of the place, how they founded it with Sister Samuel and the other sisters. Julianne was barely listening, her attention now on the children walking silently on either side of them. She could still remember the times she did the same ten years ago. Every time there were important visitors, they were obliged to behave. But before that, they would have to help with the cleaning first and then dress into their best uniforms.

Those memories were of the past, she reminded herself.

In case you are wondering, Julianne isn’t hostile towards orphanages or the people living in it. She had long ago accepted that the system has its own rules and law. You’d have to follow or make a way around them if you wanted to survive. And she survived. Did quite well more than expected even, as what Diane would say.

She looked behind her and met Zach’s eyes. The angry look in them turned to that of tenderness and smile when he met hers. She smiled and turned away, focusing on keeping calm. She knew that if Zach looked at her that way, he knew there was something wrong, which only meant she was not doing quite a good job at hiding her emotions. But orphanages, the ones like this, would always remind her of the days she had cursed all men, praying they would all die.

 *****

Zach was itching to get away from his dad and drag Julianne to a private place to talk, but they were being toured around the orphanage, now at the boys’ quarters.

Later, he told himself.

Blast it, why did his father tell Julianne something like that?

It’s your fault. You’ve been an ass since you learned how to say ‘dada’, his antagonistic side said.

Yes, he couldn’t blame his father for warning Julianne, but hell, he was his son and he should be on his side! He was a grown up despite what people think and he very well knew his feelings.

Are you sure? That antagonist whispered once again.

Yes, of course he was sure. He was sure that Julianne was the one for him. He would gladly sign on it with a gallon of his blood! He would even seal it with wax tinted with the dark red liquid!

He tried not to fume, but he was walking beside his father and he could very well feel that invisible energetic waves between them. His blood was raging it could shatter a damn BP apparatus.

Calm down, he ordered himself. Yes, he had to calm down. But he had to talk with Julianne first.

 *****

An hour later, Sister Samuel left them, Mrs. Astor and her husband walking away with her, leaving the girls and Zach in a classroom with the children.

The ladies, desperate to impress Zach, chose their own children to talk with. Julianne hesitated at first, but she saw one little girl in the corner, playing with her doll. Slowly, she approached with a gentle smile.

“Hi,” she greeted. The girl looked up, her blue eyes curious and alarmed. Julianne knew how she felt. The girl was probably aged five or close to that and yet, she was here, alone with a bunch of other kids, in the mercy of other people’s money.

She saw herself in that girl. Well, her past self. Growing in an orphanage would make you cautious. It would make you think that everyone who approached you was up to no good.

“I’m Julianne, what’s your name?” She also learned that being asked what your name was would make you feel important—that you somehow mattered.

“Kim,” the little girl answered, tucking her blond curly hair behind her ear. She was conscious, Julianne knew that.

“I have a friend named Kim,” Julianne said, forcing her voice to sound enthusiastic. “But she’s not here. She’s sick.”

“Where is she? Why is she sick?”

Julianne bowed her head and looked at the girl conspiratorially and motioned with her finger. A smile broke on the girl’s face, excited to know another secret. “She’s actually not sick,” Julianne whispered, “she pretended to be sick so she can be with the guy she likes.”

The girl giggled and after a few seconds, she looked at Julianne and said, “I don’t like guys though.”

“I don’t either,” Julianne said with a whisper, her eyes flickering towards  Zach who was standing in one corner, watching Liam cuddle a baby.

“They make fun of me,” the girl pouted. “Especially Jonathan. He’s bad,” she then motioned her head towards a brown-haired boy with thick eyebrows sitting beside Chloe.

“Boys tend to do that,” Julianne nodded. “But that doesn’t mean they’re bad.”

“But he’s always calling me names,” Kim continued to pout.

Julianne smiled and sat down beside the child on the floor. “Maybe he likes seeing you cry. You shouldn’t let him see you cry.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Julianne nodded. “Or maybe, he likes you,” she chided. Okay, so you shouldn’t teach children about those things yet, but she couldn’t help it.

“No, he doesn’t,” Kim shook her head.

“Anyway, how do you enjoy it here?” she asked. She could ask the child why she was here, but that was against the rules of orphan ethics. You should never ever ask where they came from.

“It’s fun most of the time. Sister Samuel is very nice.”

“I know,” Julianne nodded.

“And she gives us cookies when we behave.”

“Is that why you’re here?” she asked, looking at the doll. It looked tattered, but she knew it meant a lot to Kim.

“Yes, I’m behaving,” Kim said proudly.

“That’s very nice,” Julianne uttered, her voice trailing off. She didn’t know what else to say.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Kim asked, pointing at Zach. Julianne followed her gaze and saw that Zach was looking at them with a grin. The guy looked much better now that his father was out of the room.

“No, but he wants to be,” Julianne whispered to Kim. “That’s a secret, okay?”

Kim nodded vigorously, eager to please her. “Oh, he’s coming!”

Julianne sighed when she saw Zach coming over.

“Should I go?” Kim asked.

Before Julianne could answer, the child was already skipping away with her doll towards the blackboard. She began drawing with a chalk, oblivious of everything behind her.

“Why did she go away?” Zach asked, sitting beside her.

“You scared her,” Julianne lied.

“I see you don’t hate children, so what’s with you and orphanages?”

Julianne snapped her head towards him. She was startled that he deducted she has some issues with orphanages.

“I was an orphan,” she answered, her voice small. She could see the other ladies looking at her. They obviously didn’t like it that Zach chose to approach her. But she didn’t care at the moment. She was guarding her emotions and handling Zach at the same time and it was not easy.

 *****

Zach was shocked. Okay, maybe he wasn’t that shocked. The thought actually crossed his mind the other night.

“And you hate orphanages,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“No, I don’t,” Julianne answered, shaking her head.

“Then…” he urged.

She was silent for a moment. “I hate the man who left me in one,” she finally answered.

“Your—”

“Father, yes,” she cut in before he could finish his answer. He was hesitant to ask further. It was obviously a sensitive topic and he didn’t know how to tackle it. “He promised me he’d come back.” Her voice broke for a moment and it startled him. He didn’t expect she’d explain or something. He was looking at her, her eyes looking straight ahead. And when she finally turned her head to look at him, her eyes were brimming with tears, “I learned how not to trust men since I realized he would never come back,” she uttered with conviction and stood up.  “Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom,”

Zach was speechless. She was walking out of the classroom door.

For a moment, he considered the other ladies who were watching them earlier. But what the heck, he could do whatever he wanted.

He shot to his feet and went after Julianne.

Chapter 24

“Stop following me!” he shouted at the camera guy as he stalked out of the room, frantically looking for the bathroom or something close to it.

The camera guy walked off without argument. Lately, they had been shoved aside by him and today was no exception.

There was a door at the end of the hallway that indicated a washroom of some sort and he stormed right towards it and did not bother knocking. “Jules,” he nearly shouted and he heard a yelp.

A female child ran out of the room, glaring at him. “Can’t you read?” the child asked, pointing at the word, ‘GIRLS’.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, stepping aside.

“Go away, Zach, really, I’m serious,” Julianne’s voice said from inside one of the stalls. “I just need a few moments.”

“You’re depressed,” he stated, closing the door behind him and locked it.

“No, I’m not. I just told you—”

“The reason why you can’t trust me when I say I love you?” he interjected. “You’re trying to make yourself believe that what my father said was true, aren’t you? Well, he’s wrong.”

There was no answer.

“You’re using the excuse that your father left you so you won’t feel obliged to worry about our situation. You take comfort to the thought that you can never trust men because your father left you. Well, news, Jules, I’ll never do that.”

“That’s what he promised me,” she sniffed.

Zach didn’t answer for a moment. Well, maybe her fear of trusting men was that deep after all. “You’ll be sick of my presence, I promise you. I’ll never do what your father did.”

“Don’t promise something you are not certain you can keep, Zach,” her voice rose a notch higher, indicating he was getting into her nerves. “Our life in this show will be completely different once we’re outside,” she said, opening the stall door. Her eyes, the ones still damp with tears from earlier, looked at him, “You can never be certain of what you will feel once everything is over, Zach. That’s why I think your father is right.”

“And you’re crying because?” he asked stupidly.

“Because I’m feeling a lot of emotions today. This place is not helping.”

“Because of your father.”

“Yes, and because I know how those children will feel when we go later.”

“What?” he asked in a whisper.

“They will feel lonely because they’ll be alone once again. Then their hopes will go down because they will think we didn’t like them because we left. That’s not a very pleasant feeling, I tell you,” she said, wiping the last of her tears.

“Hey, come on, calm down,” he walked towards her and pulled her in his embrace.

 *****

Julianne didn’t know how their conversation went from one subject to another. Maybe because she was feeling everything at the moment, and she was weak to guard off the other worries that she had regarding Zach.

It always happened to her every time she was reminded of her father. Everything that she had put off would all come rushing in whenever that great gigantic wall came crashing down.

But as always, she learned how to build it up as quickly as she could. Like that moment, she let Zach hold her for a while as she struggled to put everything back—every single worry—in their own respective boxes.

“I’m okay…I’m fine…” she pushed away from him after a while.

“Jules…”

“Zach, I’m fine…Leave me alone for now…” she sniffed and pushed him away.

He stared at her reluctantly for a long time before he nodded and backed away from the room. When he was finally gone, Julianne faced the mirror and tried to rearrange herself.

“So,” Chloe’s voice said behind her. She did not need to turn her head because the lady’s reflection was clearly painted on the mirror. Her usual mocking look stared back at Julianne through the glass and she continued, “Tears really work, huh…”

“Want to cry yourself?” Julianne snapped, startled that her voice sounded stronger. “What are you doing here, Chloe?”

The blond girl sighed dramatically and uttered, looking at her fingers, “I just checked out if you’re okay…”

“I’m fine…thank you for the concern,” Jules said sarcastically. “You can go now. But don’t turn the wrong way ‘coz hell is quite eager for your company.” She was doing really well at this, she thought.

“Seems like your head is getting bigger, Jules. You don’t fight back like this before.”

“When you’re forced to live among devils, you learn how to,” she retorted, almost tasting the tension growing between them. It was typical of girls to hold back from scratching each other’s faces unlike the male population who would jump at the chance whenever provoked.

Chloe stepped forward, her eyes and nostrils flaring. “You bitch!”

“Took after you, I guess,” Julianne answered, shrugging her shoulders. “Please, I don’t want further useless arguments with the likes of you, Chloe, so kindly step out of the room.”

“You think you’re too high because you’re freaking J. Green? And you think you’re worth every damned rose Zach gives you? He’s just making fun of you—”

“I think…” Mrs. Astor’s voice said from the door, silencing Chloe. Julianne turned and took a step back, facing the woman, “if my son did make a wrong decision, it was choosing you.”

Mrs. Astor looked calm, but anger was imminent in her eyes as she stared at Chloe.

Chloe was a fighter, so what did you expect? That she would cower? No, she lifted her chin and walked away.

“Mrs. Astor…” Julianne stammered. “I’m sorry about that…”

“About what?” Mrs. Astor asked innocently like nothing happened. “Were you crying? What did Zach do this time?” she was frowning as she asked.

“No,” Julianne shook her head. “It’s not Zach…I’m sorry…I need to go…”

“Of course,” Mrs. Astor said, nodding her head.

Julianne walked past her and stopped when the lady grabbed her arm.

“Whatever my husband said to you, I disagree. I know my son more than him, Julianne.”

She waited for more, but the lady must have thought that two statements were enough. Julianne nodded her head slowly and walked away when Mrs. Astor let go of her hand. She walked back to the room like a zombie.

“Zach wants to know what happened,” Liam said behind her.

She jumped on her feet. What the hell was wrong with everyone? Why did they have to jump behind her all the time?

“Where the hell did you come from?”

Liam sighed, “I was waiting for you outside the wash room,” he pointed with his thumb. “Zach saw Chloe walking out and we thought that…”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, walking away, not giving him time to say more.

Zach’s head snapped up when he saw her entering the room. He was facing a little boy and Kim at one corner. He looked at her inquiringly. She tried to appear blank. Actually, if she would let her emotions show on her face, it would be a wreck. She was in a freaking orphanage and bad memories were haunting her, then she just had that talk with him, then Chloe came in, and then his mom. And yes, you could add that small talk with Liam.

Chloe was nowhere in sight, probably fuming somewhere. Julianne returned to the side of the room where she had seen Kim and the child appeared before her with her doll.

“Zach told me you’re lonely,” she said with her small, sweet voice. Julianne looked at her and she fought the tears that were threatening to come out of her eyes. God, she looked innocent. She wanted to grab the girl away from this place, away from more hurt that came her way, taking away the childhood that she deserved.

“No, I’m fine. He told you I’m lonely?”

“Yes, he said so. He also added that if I don’t make you smile, he’ll cry.” Julianne smiled and looked behind Kim. Zach smiled at her, not his usually boyish grin, nor his naughty smirks, but his true gentle smile, and Julianne couldn’t help but do the same either.

“Thank you, Kim,” she looked back at the child. “You really made me smile.”

Kim looked at her for a long time before she beamed, showing her toothless gums. “You are fine.”

“Yes,” she nodded and tucked the blond tresses of her hair behind her ear. “Now, tell me about your doll…”

 *****

They stayed at the orphanage until after lunch time and headed back to the ranch right after.

Julianne had a feeling of ambivalence when they left. It was hard to go to the place, yet it was also hard to leave it when the time came. She wanted to hug every child and tell them that they should be strong and that everything would be alright. And she knew they would be alright.

Sister Samuel was genuinely caring and those children were lucky. They only had to watch out from each other because there would always be someone who liked trouble.

Julianne was silent—as usual—as they travelled back to the ranch. Chloe though was quiet. She had been throwing Julianne dirty looks and that was not something new for Julianne so that was perfectly fine.

Kim was already waiting for her when they arrived, her face utterly happy.

At least she had something to smile about by the end of the day. She was grateful for the little help she offered her and Jack.

“What happened?” she asked Kim when they were alone out in the balcony after dinner. Mr. and Mrs. Astor left in a hurry, saying they had an emergency back home though Julianne was quite sure that was not really the case.

“It was amazing. We went for a picnic,” Kim gushed out, her eyes twinkling.

“And?”

“And what?” Kim blushed.

“Okay, I won’t ask further…” Julianne chided.

“We deducted that you and Zach were behind everything,” Kim said with a playful accusation on her face.

Julianne laughed, “We feared that.”

“Well, thank you anyway,” Kim said, smiling at her gratefully. “That was really nice of you two.”

“No problem,” she answered, hoping things for her and Zach were that easy to fix like in Kim and Jack’s case.

 *****

Zach was pacing around his room, trying not to burst out in anger. His father left without even bothering to talk to him about what he said to Julianne. If it was not for his mother’s reassurance that she was completely supporting him this time, he would have gone after them and demanded that his father straighten everything once and for all.

“Calm down, dude,” Liam said.

Yes, his freaking friend chose to stay, claiming he was not due to report back to work until the merger with Strindberg Group of Companies was done. “I don’t want to hear another word from you,” he snapped at his friend.

“Hey, I’m just trying to calm you down.”

“You’re not helping. You’re pissing me off. Why did you stay? To mock me?”

“What? Of course not! I need some time to relax.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to clear my mind.”

“Clear you mind from what?” his brows were almost overlapping each other now.

Liam did not answer. “It’s Chanty.”

“Chanty who?”

“Chanty Strindberg. I’ll be working with her.”

Zach rummaged his memory for a while before his scowl turned to amusement. The world had completely turned around now. Liam was looking troubled and harassed all of a sudden.

“I shouldn’t have mentioned that. I liked it better when I was the one seeing you in agony.”

Zach grinned. “Chanty Strindberg…Now I remember…the girl of your dreams…” he trailed off.

“Shut up,” Liam shot to his feet.

“And your THE ONE.”

“That was a long time ago,” Liam shook his head as he stormed to get a beer.

“But you’re bothered that you’ll be working with her. No, I guess you’re not over her yet.”

Liam did not answer. “Shut up, Zach. Chanty’s not a topic I’d rather discuss.”

Zach sighed in exaggeration, “She’s Philip Strindberg’s sister and that man is not easy to deal with. Man, you really have to get over her.”

“If I say you have to get over Julianne, will you?”

“Of course not.”

Liam smiled. “Exactly.”

Chapter 25

The following few days were spent mostly by the girls trying to get Zach’s attention. Some of them lingered around Liam who never explained the reason why he was staying. Julianne chose to spend the whole week working on her computer and talking with Kim.

The next Rose Ceremony came in a rush, with Jack Carter explaining that he was informed that two more ladies will have to go home.

“There were some problem with the budget and I think we all have to adjust,” he had said.

“But that’s not fair!” Pauline blurted out in horror. “The last time, you sent two girls home and now you’re sending two more?”

Jack closed his eyes as the other ladies chimed in agreement to Pauline. “This is not something I can control. Nor is it Zach’s. In shows like this, we have twists, understand?”

Julianne rolled her eyes as the others groaned. Kim shared a look of amusement with her and they giggled silently.

 *****

Zach on the other hand couldn’t agree more. He was itching to get out of the show and pursue Julianne to prove that his feelings were genuine. If there was one thing he loved in the show, it was the unexpected increase of numbers of girls to send home. The faster the show ended, the better for him because Julianne never showed any indication that she would want to stay.

That afternoon, while the girls retired to their room, probably plotting against each other now, Liam handed him a bottle of beer.

“Seems like you’re gonna have some more problems…” his friend uttered, sitting beside him on the steps outside the house.

“I don’t see any problem,” Zach grinned. “The sooner this is over, the better.”

“You’ll have to tell Julianne about the bet though,” Liam uttered.

Zach looked at him squarely in the eyes and said, “Look man, you know the bet is off.”

“Says who?”

“Me,” Zach pointed at his chest.

“Then I guess I’ll have to think of the consequence I have to give you.”

“We didn’t say there’s a consequence. You should feel happy now that you were right and I was wrong. You can mock me but there’s no way there’s a consequence.”

“There will be a consequence, Zach. I’m serious man,” Liam added when Zach scowled. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing big. Just a little deed you have to make.”

Zach knew Liam took the bet seriously and he was not sure if he would like this consequence his friend was talking about.

 *****

“I’m going to back out,” Kim uttered to her the next day, just hours before the ceremony. The crew was busy preparing the place, and Brent was already in his suit and tie, reading his lines.

“You talked with Jack about it?” Julianne guessed.

“Yes,” Kim nodded eagerly. “This show’s going to end soon and I guess I’ll just have to wait.”

“He’s head over heels over you so don’t worry,” she took her friend’s hand gently.

“I’m not. I’m just not patient.”

“You’re not going to show up here any time soon for a visit, right?” she asked.

“No, of course not. God, the ladies will be horrified to know there’s something going on between me and the director.”

“They won’t like it,” Julianne nodded.

“Yes,” Kim sighed and stood up. “Anyways, I think I’ll go talk to Zach about this.”

“He’s probably expecting this.”

 *****

Zach felt a presence behind him and he turned. He was talking with Liam outside the house.

“Kim,” he said when he saw the lady.

“I’ll go take a walk,” Liam excused and smiled at Kim before he left.

“I want out,” Kim said in haste.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t want a rose later.”

Slowly, a smile crept up his face in understanding. “You talked with Jack about this?”

Kim rolled her eyes, “You and Julianne asked the same thing.”

“We think alike,” he winked.

Kim leaned her head on one shoulder to look at him skeptically, “You’ve always liked her, didn’t you? I never really had a chance if things didn’t turn out this way for me.”

It was not a question but Zach nodded anyway, “Just don’t tell the others. I don’t want murder in my ranch.”

Kim smiled at him. “You should take good care of her. She’s the best among us.”

“All of you are different, but she’s the best for me.”

She slowly nodded and sighed, “Anyway, about later?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll send you home.”

“Thanks, Zach. It was really fun being here with you, really.”

“I know. I’m fun to be with. You tell Jules about that as well.”

She just laughed and walked away.

When he was finally alone, Zach’s smile was gone. Kim was Julianne’s only friend here and now she wanted to leave. Should he let her go?

 *****

Julianne gave Kim an inquiring look when she came back and sat beside her on the couch.

“He said yes.”

“I knew he would,” she smiled at her friend. “I wish you all the best, Kim.”

“Me too,” Kim gave her a hug. Pauline, who was sitting just a few paces away from them, gave them a curious look. Julianne cleared her throat and let go of Kim.

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.

“Me too,” Kim answered. “And I really think you should give Zach a chance, Julianne. He’s a really nice guy and he adores you.”

She just smiled. She knew that, but as what she said, she was not ready for that yet. Leaving after the top four was what she had planned and that was what would happen.

“We should meet after the show is over,” Kim added with excitement.

“I’d love that.”

 *****

“Ladies, as you already know, we will say goodbye once again to two beautiful women tonight,” Brent announced an hour later.

Really, it was not even night time outside but the crew did some tricks inside the house to give it a feel.

Deep inside, Julianne didn’t want to let go of Kim. She was the only friend she got inside the show and now she had to leave. But she respected her friend’s decision. There was no use of staying if she was in love with someone else.

But what about her? Was there any use of leaving when the one she wanted to be with was here?

She did not bother to think of that for now.

“Zach?”  Brent said, looking at Zach. Like Brent, he was wearing his dashing suit and tie, his face serious.

Julianne didn’t realize that she had not been listening to the speech and she hurriedly stood up when Brent motioned for them to stand up in front of Zach. The other ladies already had tears in their eyes. Pauline was sobbing like a stupid child, Chloe was trying to look cool but it was clear that she was nervous as hell, and Tanya was playing with her hair as she looked up at Zach with tears already pooling her eyes. Penny on the other hand was holding Kim’s hand in what seemed like a pretty strong grasp.

 *****

Zach looked at the ladies with a blank stare. He looked at Julianne, her head bent. He had not spoken to her since for too long for almost a week now. She had been keeping herself busy in front of her blasted computer.

He took a white rose and uttered, “Julianne.”

Pauline sobbed harder that he had the urge to stick the rose in her mouth to keep her quiet. Chloe threw Julianne a dirty look as the love of his life slowly walked forward. “Will you accept this rose?” he asked.

For the first time in weeks, she raised her eyes to look at him. He couldn’t point out what she was feeling, but he was sure there was sadness. It must have been the thought of Kim leaving. She nodded and said, “Yes,” took the rose, and walked away.

Taking another long-stemmed rose, he looked at the ladies once again. Kim was just standing there without a care in the world. Just like Julianne during the first Rose Ceremony.

“Chloe,” he forced out and the lady squealed. It was the first time she lost her control over the elegance and grace she had been trying to portray. Zach fought his urge to shake his head incredulously.

“Will you—”

“Yes!” Chloe answered and took the rose from his hand.

He forced out a smile as the lady walked away to join Julianne at the other side of the room.

With haste and bitterness, he took another rose and huffed out Pauline’s name.

She didn’t hear it at first, but when she did, she cried out, her tears falling more freely.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she rushed towards him and took the rose before he could even open his mouth. Not that he cared anyway. He couldn’t even imagine asking her if she wanted to stay or not. Asking Chloe was enough.

Another rose, another glance at the three remaining ladies. He wanted to say Kim’s name, to make her stay and be with Julianne. But he made a promise. He would let her go home. He had to.

He couldn’t be selfish now. Kim and Jack had something and he wouldn’t jeopardize their plans just because he didn’t want Julianne to be left alone without a friend. Julianne wouldn’t like that either. If she needed anything, he’d be there for her, but right now, he had to think about Kim. She wanted to leave and he would have to give her that.

Finally, he took deep breath and said, “Penny.”

Kim sighed in relief and Tanya cried out. Zach finally realized that his days with Julianne were soon going to end. The show’s twist didn’t give them a chance to have a top five. They skipped that part and that meant skipping weeks of being around Julianne.

 *****

It was the first time for Julianne to have the genuine urge to walk and say goodbye to someone after they didn’t get a rose. She went directly to Kim who, unlike the others who had left, had no tears on her face.

“I’ll miss you,” Julianne’s eyes watered.

“I’ll miss you too,” Kim huffed out.

Julianne leaned back and looked at her friend for the last time. Well, they would have to see each other, but it would be for quite some time.

Not really, you’re leaving next week, a voice inside reminded her.

Yes, she would be leaving next week. They just skipped the top five. It was now the final four and she had to leave after this.

“Go and say your goodbye to Jack,” she pushed Kim gently towards the director.

“I’ll do that later,” Kim said, looking around. “I don’t want issues when I leave.”

“You’re right,” Julianne nodded.

“So, Jules, you’re happy I didn’t break my promise?” Zach asked behind her. She turned to him and frowned.

“You were planning to break it?”

“For a moment, I did,” he nodded, looking at the horrified Kim. “But I know how important this is for Kim and Jack.”

“Thanks, Zach,” Kim rushed towards him and gave him a hug.

“I’m not embracing her,” he mouthed at Julianne.

Julianne rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Okay, ladies, why don’t we have a toast?” he announced over his lungs when Kim finally let him go and went to the corner of the room with the still crying Tanya.

Julianne was looking at her friend as she took the glass of wine Zach handed her and joined with the toast.

 *****

Julianne stayed in her bed the following morning. Kim and Tanya went home yesterday, right after the ceremony and she had no one to talk to downstairs. She could hear the ladies talking and laughing, celebrating their success of coming this close to the final ceremony.

She, on the other hand, was confused. Now that the time of her leaving was near, she doubted everything. A big part of her wanted to stay. A big part also wanted to leave and see if this was all real.

But what if leaving would mean she was right and that she and Zach weren’t really going to work out? She would surely spend the rest of her days regretting and blaming herself for not staying and getting what she could get.

And if she stayed and she and Zach would end up together, that would be great. But she couldn’t deny the fact that there was not a record of any of the Bachelors who had stayed long in the relationship that had bloomed in the show itself. She knew that there was only one Bachelorette who actually got married and was still happy being one. But no Bachelor survived. Not one.

Yes, she could make Zach an exemption, but she highly doubted it as well.

I’ll leave, she told herself.

Don’t, a voice whispered inside her.

Julianne groaned and rolled out of her bed. She had to get a cup of coffee to clear her head.

 *****

Zach was in the kitchen talking with the ladies and Liam when Julianne came down looking haggard. She caught his eyes and looked away.

He knew what was bothering her and he wasn’t certain if he should be happy or not that she was obviously thinking of the fact that she was leaving, and that she was looking uncertain about it.

“Hey, Jules,” Liam called out, raising his cup of coffee.

Zach elbowed his friend. No one could call Julianne Jules.

“You want some coffee?” Liam jumped out of his stool to walk towards Julianne.

Zach, oblivious of the glare he got from Pauline, Chloe, and Penny, jumped to rescue Julianne from his friend.

“Good morning, fellows,” Brent’s booming voice said, catching all their attention, including Liam’s. “I’m just here to drop some news,” he smiled at everyone as the camera guy roamed around the room, taking shots of each and every one of them.

“What news?” Zach asked.

“Tomorrow and the next three days after, Zach will visit your homes,” Brent uttered, addressing the ladies.

Chapter 26

Julianne didn't know what to think as she travelled back home with one camera guy. All of them, Pauline, Chloe, and Penny left the ranch to go back to their homes and prepare their families to meet Zach.

Well, unluckily for Julianne, she didn't have any family. Not one living relative she could identify as flesh and blood.

"Aren't you going to invite someone?" the camera guy asked when she just sat on her couch doing nothing.

"No," she answered, not looking at him.

He shrugged and raised his camera.

"Can I take a shot around?"

"Sure," she nodded, reaching for her phone.

Diane was the only person she called, but not to invite her over. It was to check in and ask about the tour.

"It's nothing without you. We had to cancel the next trips because we're not sure how long you're staying in that show!" Diane exclaimed. "Where are you now? Aren't they doing some family meeting stuff?"

"How did you know?"

"I watch the show, Julianne," Diane said dryly. "Do you want me to come over?"

"No," she answered in haste. "I'll handle this alone. I'll bore the Bachelor to death."

"Whatever you're doing, it's nothing close to boring him. You're still in the show!"

"I know, I know, but I'll tell you about it when I get out."

"When?"

"Soon," she promised and talked about her book and her next project. "Yes, I'll do it. Okay, bye," with a sigh, she replaced the phone back on the receiver. She looked around her living room and decided to clean up. Zach will visit the three other ladies first so that means she had three days on her own.

*****

Zach was on his way to the first family meeting he had to suffer and it was Pauline's. Pretending to not to not like her was difficult and he couldn't imagine how to further stretch his newfound talent of patience-stretching when he would have to be with her and her family.

He was just trying to neutralize his feelings when the limo stopped outside a big house-a really big one-and with a sigh, he climbed out, straightening his shirt.

Pauline was already waiting by the door with that big smile on her face that he had learned to despise. Never in his life had he hated a woman as much as he thought he hated Pauline. With a forced smile, he walked the rest of the steps towards her and gave her a peck. That kiss was for the camera guy tailing him, of course.

"Hi," Pauline purred as she tucked her blonde hair behind one ear. "Ready to meet my family?"

Zach gulped and nodded. "Sure, excited to meet them."

He thought he'd be facing one simple blonde family, but never in his wildest dream had he imagined facing a football team of guys.

Pauline has seven brothers. Big, big brothers. Football team big. And by the look on their faces as he came through the door, he was sure they were not pleased to have their little sister swooning over a guy like him.

Oh, shit, Zach cried inside his mind. He should have brought Liam with him. Though the two of them wouldn't stand a chance against seven big men with menacing eyes, it would still be better than having the skinny camera guy as his comrade.

"Zach, meet my brothers, Kyle, Tom, Jerry, Pete, Cart, Mike, and Steve," Pauline uttered with excitement, motioning with her hands. "Guys, meet Zachary Astor." She uttered his last name like it was Buddha's. But Zach didn't feel like his name mattered to her brothers. They were still glaring down at him.

Hey, he was tall, but Pauline's brothers were taller by a few more inches. "Good morning," he nodded his head at the group. At the back of his mind, he was wondering why their parents named two of them Tom and Jerry.

"What are your intentions to our sister?" The older one, Kyle, finally opened his mouth. His big baritone voice boomed around the room.

"What?" Zach asked almost incredulously. What did they think was the purpose of his visit?

"You better not make her cry," the other one warned. It was Tom or Jerry or whoever. He was not sure. And he didn't care. He was more focused on trying to survive this day so he could go visit Julianne.

"Hey, guys, you promised to make him feel at home," Pauline told her brothers.

And with that, they shrugged and turned away. Just like that. One word from their sister and they went back to their own safe havens. By havens meant the television, the kitchen, the stairs...almost everywhere.

"So, how about some snacks?" Pauline asked him cheerfully.

"Sure," he answered with a sigh of relief. He better be good with Pauline if he wanted to get out of the house alive.

*****

Julianne just finished cleaning up when she decided that she needed to do some shopping.

"Are you coming?" she asked the camera guy.

"No, I'm all set to go to my hotel. I think I've covered enough. Your place is not that big and...well, don't you have someone I can shoot with?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Then I'll be off. See you in two days."

Julianne nodded and walked with him to the door.

She offered him a ride and dropped him off his hotel where he'd be staying until Zach arrived.

"Thanks," he murmured and got out.

It just occurred to Julianne, while she was driving her way to the supermarket that only few of the crewmen in the show really talked to her. Aside from Fatima and Jack Carter, she didn't really know the camera guys. Not one of them, not even their names.

She shrugged. She'd leave soon and the fewer people she knew the better.

While walking down the aisle of cereals, she happened to cross path with a lady and her friend. They gasped when they saw her and pointed with their fingers.

At first, Julianne thought they were readers of her book, but when they opened their mouths and said her name out loud, her face fell.

"It's Jules! Hi, Jules!" The blonde girl waved.

Julianne smiled and continued walking with head bent down.

"Where's Zach? Were you evicted already?" The other girl asked.

Julianne said, "No, I'm sorry, I need to go," and hurried away.

She didn't like this. This was not what she had dreamed of. Privacy was something she cherished and because of the stupid show, people knew her and were even asking questions that she would rather not even think about herself.

*****

Zach was near kneeling down his knees to thank the heavens for giving him the chance to finally escape the testosterone-filled house where Pauline lived with her brothers. Since their parents had long been gone, he was not able to meet anyone else that could have saved him if Pauline's brothers decided to pin him to the wall and throw darts at him.

"It felt so short a time," Pauline pouted as she led Zach out of the door.

It felt like thirty years in hell, Zach thought to himself. "Yeah," he answered, turning to give Pauline a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you soon," he whispered, not bothering to look behind her shoulders where her brothers stood, glaring at him.

"Yeah," she sounded disappointed with the kiss.

Zach opened the door and let himself out, breathing fresh air. Surviving breakfast and lunch inside the hell hole he had been would really make one appreciate the cold air outside.

"See you soon, Zach!" Pauline waved after him as he rushed to the car.

*****

The next day, Zach was off to have an afternoon with Penny's family. Now, here, he could sit back and relax because Penny lived with her grandparents who could barely hear and stay awake. Though he didn't have anything against Penny, it was still much of an effort to keep a normal, easy conversation when all he had in his mind was Julianne and the day he would come meet her.

"How did you two meet?" Tina, Penny's grandmother asked, her voice shaking and her eyes narrowed behind her spectacles.

"Through the show," he answered for the nth time.

"What show?" Penny's grandfather, Ben, asked for the nth time.

"The Bachelor," he replied and you don't want to know for how many times he uttered the same words.

But still, being under the same room with two harmless individuals were far better than with Pauline's brothers.

"Don't make her cry," Tina reached over and grabbed his hand by her shaking ones.

Zach gulped. He found it hard to lie to old people's faces-well, apart from his parents.

Penny laughed nervously, her eyes asking him to forgive her grandparents.

He nodded and leaned back, not answering Tina's question. That would feel like a sin to actually lie at her face. He couldn't promise not to make Penny cry.

The dinner was slow but mellow. He couldn't deny he learned a lot about Penny than he already did. She was caring and soft-spoken despite her sometimes desperate behavior in the show. Maybe she just needed more attention from other people other than her grandparents. Her parents were divorced and only saw her every other year or two.

All in all, the visit with Penny was good. Nothing dramatic or life-changing-just good.

By the time he was able to convince Penny's grandparents that he was not driving drunk and that he would put his seatbelt on, he finally said his goodbyes and went back to his hotel.

One more to go and he'd be on his way to Julianne.

*****

It was not really a shocking surprise to know that Chloe have it all--almost have it all. She got parents who gave her everything she desired, she got sisters who cowered whenever she was around, and she got the looks. Not that her family isn't pretty, but Chloe, Zach had to admit, would always be the prettiest.

Everyone was blonde though and Zach was almost giddy to get out when Chloe took the floor, dominating the room. She laid out all photo albums she could find and forced him to look at every freaking photo of her pretty blonde head. There was even one solely for the photos of every guy she had a relationship with.

"This guy," she pointed with her finger, "even stalked me around for almost a year after I broke up with him."

He didn't realize he was lucky to have her gone? Zach wondered in his mind. He just smiled and that was all it took for Chloe to turn the page and narrate another self-centered story. He was lost in thoughts of Julianne and how he should act when he got to her. For certain, he would not find a family waiting with her. There would be no one.

He spent countless of hours day dreaming like a boy while Chloe bombarded him with stories of high school and how amazing she was. Her sisters shared a look of embarrassment over their sister's rambling with him and he gave them a wink that said it was no big problem.

Chloe's parents were quite a pair. Actually good and pleasing people, but they were very eager to please their eldest daughter that it didn't appeal much to Zach.

"I think I'm not feeling well," he finally announced after dinner just as Chloe was saying he should see her old room. "I'm sorry, but I will have a long day tomorrow," he smiled when Chloe pouted her lips.

He turned to her smiling parents and sisters. They too looked relieved that they didn't have to put up such an act that everything was okay any longer.

"Thank you for such a wonderful dinner," he uttered, nodding his head at them.

They smiled and Chloe's dad, a big beefy man, said, "Anytime, Mr. Astor."

"Please, just Zach. Mr. Astor's my father."

They gave a little laugh and stood up as Zach pushed his chair away.

"See you soon?" Chloe asked, batting her eyes at him.

"Yeah," he nodded and gave her a peck. "See you in two days."

She planted her palms over his chest and he was almost afraid she'd clench them and pull him down towards her. But she didn't and he stepped back, holding up one hand to where her family was standing to give a small wave.

As Zach walked back to the car, he was beaming from ear to ear. He had the perfect plan for a date tomorrow with Julianne.

Chapter 27

Julianne was getting anxious now. She wanted to make some excuses like she was sick or she was having a bad stomach just so the meeting with Zach would be postponed. Never had she shared a real date with him alone with a camera guy.

“They said he’s coming. Are you sure you’re not inviting anyone over?” the camera guy whom she knew now as Steve asked her.

“Yes,” she answered, trying to stay on the couch and not pace around like a wife waiting for her husband.

Steve was looking at her in a weird way.

“What?” she asked him.

“You’re not going to dress up or anything?” he nodded his bald head towards her.

Julianne looked down at her simple plain black shirt and dark pants. “No.”

“What are you two going to do for the day?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“You should plan something. You’re the host now,” he shrugged.

Julianne stared at him dryly. “So you’re Brent now? You’re making talks?”

Steve grinned. “Hey, I’m just trying to ease away the coldness.”

“You feel uncomfortable around me,” she stated without question.

He smirked, his brown eyes wavering for a moment and then he shrugged. “You make us feel uncomfortable, you know.”

“I do?”

He nodded. “You’re not like everyone else.”

She didn’t answer. Saying anything about her deal with Jack and Zach might lead to some problems and plus, she didn’t know Steve that well to tell him more.

When he thought she was not going to remark anything, he continued, “You know, we camera guys and some other staff talk about you a lot.”

Okay, now, that one was surprising. “What about me?”

He only grinned, “You don’t like being here, do you?”

“What made you say that?”

“We just know. We’re the camera guys, remember? We see almost everything, we hear almost every word.”

“Not a very appealing job, I guess,” she sighed.

He chuckled. “Yes, it’s not. But we also know Zachary Astor likes you very much.”

She just stared at him, not giving anything away. She wondered if they also knew about what happened the night she and Zach were trapped in that small cabin. They had put on cameras all over the island and there was that big possibility they also did that around the ranch. If that was ever true, she would flip like crazy.

“Though the audience bet for Chloe or Pauline, I guess we all know you’re on your way to beating them,” Steve said matter-of-factly.

She scoffed. If only he knew. She’d be leaving by the end of the week.

So, you better make this day worth to last for a lifetime, a voice deep inside her uttered.

 *****

Zach was getting giddy. Yes, yes, he acts like a child, but he didn’t care. This was the day he’d been waiting for. The only day he was dreaming of.

Along the way, he brought tulips for Julianne. Roses were out. He’d given away too much of the damned thing.

“You look anxious,” the camera guy stated.

“Of course, I’ll be meeting the woman who doesn’t seem to be swooned at the sight of me,” he grinned.

“This is also gonna be the first time that we’re gonna have the chance to shoot you alone with her,” Martin said with a laugh. “No wonder not all viewers like her. She is not very friendly with the camera.”

“I know,” Zach nodded, his mind already wandering off to where Julianne was.

He got to make this day perfect. This was his last chance to make her stay and go for the win.

 *****

Julianne lived in a really nice building, well-secured, well-maintained. There were some people who stopped when the car pulled over and some ladies cried out when they recognized him. Zach almost cursed the stupid show for deciding to air the episodes while the show was still on-going. Usually, they air it after everything was done.

He jogged to the direction of the building as girls hurried after him. There were two good things that happened: One, the door was already open to let him in. Second, Martin was left behind when he shut the door. He looked back with a stupid grin on his face.

One camera guy down.

People were already swarming outside and he doubted if it was possible to get out later. He didn’t care. He was going to see Julianne and that was all that mattered.

 *****

Julianne almost jumped out of her seat when her door racked against its frame.

“Jules!”

Rolling her eyes, all anxiety flew away, as she heard Zach’s eager and boyish voice outside. Of course, he was excited. The man never showed her anything that would have contradicted his alleged feelings towards her. Steve was already on his feet, aiming the camera at her as she walked to the door.

The moment she opened it, Zach’s smiling and vibrant face was looking down at her. “Tulips for you,” he grinned, his green eyes sparkling.

“Tulips… thanks,” she couldn’t help but smile either.

“You’ve received a lot of roses from me already so I think tulips are great.”

“They’re beautiful,” she said, looking at the red flowers. “Come in,” she said with a welcoming voice, stepping back to let him in.

As he did, she looked him over. He was looking casual today with a dark green shirt, a pair of pants and walking shoes. She liked this Zach, not the Mr. Suit and Tie one.

“So, you’re not introducing me to anyone?” he asked when they reached the living room.

“No,” she answered.

He looked around, “Nice place, Jules. Neat.”

“You want something? A drink?”

“I’m actually starving,” he grinned with embarrassment. “I was not able to eat my breakfast this morning.”

“An early lunch?”

“That will be awesome.”

Julianne busied herself preparing for lunch while Zach talked with Steve in the living room. The camera guy looked like he was not in the mood to shoot every single second which was pretty cool with Julianne.

“It’s done,” she announced at the two of them. “Steve, join us.”

“What? No, I’m cool.”

“I know you’re hungry. You’ve been here early and you haven’t eaten anything.”

Zach stood up and sighed, “Yes, man, come on. I’m starving. We’re going to have an adventure today.”

Steve and Julianne turned their eyes at him. “What adventure?” Julianne asked suspiciously.

“Let’s just eat first. You’ll need your energy, Jules,” he winked and patted Steve on the shoulder, “You too, man.”

Steve shared a knowing grin with him.

Julianne was not sure if that was a good thing or not.

 *****

By the time they were done with breakfast, Zach got up and started cleaning up.

Julianne was stunned. He could clean? The first time she met him, she was sure he was not a guy who would do something like this. “I’ll do it,” she said, trying to snatch a plate out of his hand.

“It’s cool, Jules, I can do this,” he said with a smile.

“If you’re trying to impress me—”

“I’m not. I can actually do this stuff, you know. My father made sure of that,” he winked and continued with his work.  Julianne watched him with amusement. It never occurred to her that Zachary Astor could be someone who could do dishes.

As he went on with his work, he glanced at her with a smile. “You look shocked that I can actually do this,” he shook his head.

“Yes, I am. I always thought you’re pampered.”

““For years, he forced me to work in some of the food chains we owned. Said I needed to do the basics,” he explained, adding, “And if you live in a ranch like I have for quite some time, you’ll learn a lot of things.”

Julianne just nodded. This was one of those moments that she was sure Zach was being serious. And she liked the serious Zach as much as she liked his childish behavior.

“Go get ready. We’re leaving after I’m done,” he said over his shoulder.

“Where are we going?”

“That’s a secret.”

 *****

Zach was already in the living room when Julianne came out still wearing the same clothes. She had tied her hair and she was holding a large bag in her hand.

“What’s that for?” he asked, frowning.

“It’s my computer. My pen, my notepad, my—Hey!” she cried out when he snatched it out of her hand.

“You’re not going to do some writing when you’re around me. If you will, you should write our love story,” he grinned at her wickedly. “And carrying a heavy baggage will only drag us.”

“Why? What are we going to do?”

“That’s a surprise,” he winked.

Julianne stared at Steve who was talking on the phone. After he said goodbye, he replaced the phone back on the receiver and looked at them. “The car’s already outside.”

Zach turned to Julianne with his usual boyish grin. “Let’s go, Jules.”

He started pulling her to the window of her kitchen. “Zach, where are we going?”

“We’re going to a Halloween fair,” he answered, opening one window.

“And why are you opening the window?”

“We’re going through the fire exit,” he explained, turning around to face her. “A lot of people are swarming outside the building. They know we’re inside.”

“Let’s go,” Steve uttered, carrying his camera with him. “I’ll go first.”

Julianne just looked at both of them incredulously. “I don’t think this is a good—”

“Don’t think, Jules. Come on!” Zach pushed her gently towards the window. She peered through as soon as Steve was out. The camera guy was grinning at her, straightening his clothes.

“No, I don’t think I—”

“Come on, Jules. We can’t just stay inside your home all day, can we?” Zach asked behind her.

“It’s too high.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you,” Steve smiled at her, putting his camera down beside his feet. She was not really at the top floor of the building, but still, looking down at how far they had to go down using the stairs was kind of frightening for her.

“Jules…”

“Okay, okay! Just shut up first, Zach,” she said nervously as she climbed on the window frame, first her legs followed by her head.

“Just jump,” Steve urged.

“Yeah, right,” she rolled her eyes and slowly descended, the wooden frame scraping her thighs.

Finally, she was able to land down safely and she tried not to look down, knowing it would only make her sick. “Let’s go,” Zach announced beside her. She jumped. How did he manage to get out that fast?

 *****

Zach led the way down the stairs, holding her hand behind him. Steve got the guts to tape them with his camera while managing to safely descend down the stairs safely. A car was already waiting outside for the three of them. Zach rushed towards it and they climbed in before any bystander could identify them.

Never in her whole life had Julianne dreamed of such attention from people. She didn’t like the idea of a crowd clamoring over her, or the stare of curiosity thrown at her direction so she was glad for their escape plan though it still shook her nerves.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s this Halloween fair just a few blocks away,” Zach said, looking down at his watch.

“I don’t like Halloween,” Julianne uttered.

 *****

Zach looked at her, startled. “You don’t? Why?”

“It’s creepy.”

Inside, his mind was already reeling with excitement. Julianne not liking Halloween was actually a good idea. He could use that to his advantage. “It’s still early, why don’t we stop for an ice cream?” he asked.

Julianne scoffed. “You’re such a child…”

He winked at her, “I like ice cream.”

“Is that even possible? People will swarm around the two of you,” Steve said.

Zach thought for a second. “Who said we’re going out of this car?” He looked at Steve meaningfully and the camera guy shook his head.

“Fine, I’ll be your errand boy for today.”

 *****

And by errand boy, it meant he bought their ice creams and their costumes for the fair.

“What’s this?” Zach asked with a frown, holding his costume up before him.

“Just wear it, okay? I can’t find anything else.”

“I’m a witch?” Julianne frowned down at the pointed hat and the black dress.

“Good guess,” Steve nodded.

“Okay, you guys dress up. I’ll be outside.” As soon as he said that, he climbed out of the car, leaving the two of them alone. The partition between them and the driver was already closed.

Julianne looked at Zach and said, “Turn around.”

“Why?”

“I need to get dressed.”

“Jules, I’ve seen everything—”

“Shh!” her eyes widened with warning.

Zach chuckled, “Okay, I’ll turn around. You dress, I’ll dress.”

Julianne was done dressing in no time. She found out that she didn’t have to take off her clothes after all. The black dress was too loose and she just had to put it over her clothes. Nothing much to her costume, really. The hat had long artificial white hair that gave her witch character more character.

She had felt Zach struggling with his though. She heard him throw away his shoes and from the corner of her eye, she could see his pants. She gulped.

“Jules,” she heard Zach’s voice behind her.

“What?” she asked without turning around. For all she knew, he was all naked and was planning to make fun of her.

“Guess who I am?” he asked.

Slowly, she turned around and looked at his costume. “Superman?”

Obviously, he was superman.

He shook his head. “No, I’m your man.”

Her jaw dropped in disbelief. What entered his mind to utter such a cheesy line? “Ha, ha, funny,” she said dryly.

There was a knock on the car door. It was Steve. Julianne reached out and opened it for him.

Steve whistled. “Nice, Zach.”

Zach was frowning. “Yeah, not really for Halloween, Steve. This is some costume for a comic-con or something.”

 *****

As they waited for night time, they drove around the city, just going nowhere.

“What is your greatest dream?” Julianne uttered without thinking.

Zach turned his head to her and smiled. “When I was younger, I wanted to have everything in the world. I wanted to get richer. Now, all I can think about is a home outside the city with a very large lawn. Early morning coffee outside with the sun and the paper, kids running around in their pajamas, a Christmas tree, firelight and wine at night, a road trip…the simple things.”

A smile formed on her lips. He had said the very things she had longed for since she was young—a happy home and a family, something intact and fun.

 *****

“It’s time,” Steve announced an hour later. They had been parking outside the fair talking about everything, which Julianne found quite pleasant.

Zach breathed out and leaned forward. “Let’s go, Jules! Time to enter the Horror Room!”

“Horror Room?” she asked, her face going pale.

“We should try it, come on!” he leaned over her to open the door. People were already swarming the area with their costumes of all kinds. At first, people stared at Zach, the only person wearing a freaking superhero costume.

“What a loser!” A big kid cried after them.

Julianne stopped him when he made a move to turn around and go back after the boy. “Zach!” she exclaimed.

“He was way overboard,” he gritted.

“He’s a kid!”

“Fine…” he muttered. Julianne heard Steve chuckle behind them. He made a trick with his camera by putting it inside a big duffel bag. No one was sure how he managed to shoot their little adventure, but he did.

 *****

Steve was the one who paid for the Horror Room tickets. And by the time they entered the room, Julianne realized people made really great efforts to scare the hell out of everyone who entered. Luckily, she had set it in her mind that everything was fake and that there was no way at all that they could get any real. The mannequins looked real though and there were real people hiding in creepy mirrors and doors, ready to pounce at them.

“Woah!” Zach cried out when they passed by a large mirror with a scary little girl holding a shattered doll, staring at them. He jumped closer beside her.

“I can’t believe this…” Julianne uttered, shaking her head. She couldn’t help but smile at the irony and Steve was enjoying the show, the duffel bag with the camera in it now on his shoulder.

“This is really creepy stuff…” Zach said, his voice slightly shaking.

Really? He was getting scared? So much for a superman!

 *****

Zach had imagined Julianne jumping and taking comfort in his arms earlier before they entered the freaking room. What he did not imagine though was the fact that he was getting really scared. What the hell did these people do to the place? Really, it was scary as hell! Scratch that, he might be in hell already! Sweat was running down his temple as he clasped Julianne’s hand tighter.

“We should go back,” he tried to say casually. It didn’t come out as normally as he intended though because Julianne chuckled.

“We just got in,” Julianne answered.

“I’m claustrophobic,” he lied.

“No, you’re not,” she uttered incredulously.

“I think I’m developing the phobia. Let’s just go back, Jules.” This time, he did not bother to hide the desperation in his voice. He almost cried out when his face caught an artificial spider web. “Get it off me! Get if off me!” he cried out.

“Relax!” Julianne said laughingly, helping him with the yarn. She turned to Steve with a grin. “I think it’s time to go out.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, before he gets a heart attack.”

 *****

Zach breathed in the fresh air, filling his lungs with it. His heart was still racing. “Someone from the health department should check that room for safety,” he muttered under his breath.

Julianne rolled her eyes. “Let’ just go home.”

He obliged, cursing himself in the way. He did something wrong in there. He failed. Now, what would Julianne think of him?

 *****

Julianne, on the other hand, was amused that Zach was really frightened by their small trip inside the Horror Room. It was something new about him that she had learned.

Later that night, when it was time for dinner, Steve set up the camera on a tripod so that he could leave them be. Really nice of him.

Since they couldn’t eat out, they decided to buy Chinese food and watched a movie, Friends with Benefits. While munching her food, Julianne did not bother to scoot away when Zach came closer and circled his arm around her after he was done eating.

“Justin looks gay to me,” he uttered, frowning.

“He’s a bit feminine,” she agreed.

“I like Mila.”

“She’s beautiful.”

He looked down at her with amusement.

“What?” she asked laughingly.

“You’re not pissed that I appreciate other women?”

“Why would I?”

He smiled. “Yes, of course, you’re not like other women.”

“And what—”

His phone started ringing. “What is it?” he asked, ignoring the phone.

“Your phone is ringing.”

“It’s just Liam,” he brushed off.

“Answer it. It can be an emergency or something.”

“He’s calling to piss me off,” he scoffed.

“Just answer it,” she said, reaching for the remote. “I’ll pause the movie.”

 *****

Zach sighed, stood up, went to the kitchen and fumbled for his phone inside his pocket. He should have turned it off.

“What?” he snapped.

As he had expected, it was his friend.

“I already thought of something for the bet.”

 *****

Alone in the living room, Julianne was deep in thought. She loved this day despite what she had feared. Yes, she was finally certain that she was in love with Zach. Who wouldn’t fall for him?

But would she stay? Should she? She knew she was sure that she had to go home. But deep inside, she was fearful that what they had—what they were having—would leave with her. What if she would be left waiting? What if he chose someone else?

She stood up when she couldn’t hear his voice in the kitchen. The call was probably ending and she had to talk to him. Maybe--just maybe--if he would ask her to stay, she would say yes. Just maybe.

“What about the bet?” Zach’s irritated voice asked.

Julianne frowned. What was he talking about? Maybe it’s not Liam…

“Liam, man, I already told you about the bet. Yes, yes, of course I remember but I don’t remember I would have to do a stupid consequence like that. What? In front of the girls?”

Julianne’s heart started racing. What was he talking about?

“Fine, we’ll talk about it when I get back.” Finally, he held the phone away from his ear.

“What bet?” Julianne asked.

Zach whirled around, his face ashen.

“What bet, Zach?”

Chapter 28

He could feel the sweat rolling down his temple. “It’s nothing,” he stammered.

Julianne’s eyes narrowed at him. “It doesn’t look like nothing, Zach.”

“It’s just a bet that Liam and I had before the show.”

“Can you tell me what it’s about?”

She was acting too cool he cringed. Should he tell her? What would she do if she learned about it? Maybe it would be better if he made up some crazy story and let Julianne believe it. He could tell Liam about it and that his friend better keep his mouth shut.

But he knew Julianne.

She would understand.

Or would she?

She thinks different than the others, she’s more mature and she would think this matter thoroughly, he thought. “You wouldn’t like it, I guess…” he finally said.

 *****

Julianne’s heart was hammering despite her composure. Her wild imagination was running way ahead of her.

Could it be that the bet was about me? Did he and Liam betted he can make someone like me stay in the show?

Julianne, you’re thinking like an author. This is no television. Hear him out. Calm down.

Slowly, she took a deep breath and sighed.

“Let’s hear it,” she said, walking to the chair and sat down.

He looked stricken. He paced around, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Zach,” she called out when he did not look at her.

“It’s not about you,” he blurted out, his chest heaving. “I just want you to know that.”

That was a relief. “Okay…”

 *****

Zach didn’t know where to begin so he started where he could remember. “One night, while Liam and I were talking about love—more like arguing about it, really—we made a bet that I will ditch twenty-five women. I will not look back at them. Just ditch them and go on with my life. That’s why I joined this stupid show in the first place.” He couldn’t look at her. She was really, really silent. “But I lost it.”

“How?”

“Don’t you get it? I can’t let you go, Jules,” he almost exclaimed. “Just the thought of it is impossible.”

She just sat there looking at him.

 *****

She didn’t know what to think. A big part of her was jumping with joy after hearing it. But another part of her was telling her to back off.

What if he got tired of her? What if he would jump into another stupid bet and lost her? Or she lost him?

“And you’re afraid to tell me about this bet because…?”

“I don’t want you to think whatever you’re thinking right now.”

Julianne snorted. “I don’t think bad of anything if that’s what you mean,” she lied—just a bit, of course.

Hope ignited in his eyes. “So you’re staying? I don’t mind doing the consequence, Jules. Just stay. For me, you’re already the winner.”

Julianne was blank for a few moments. She didn’t want to give him an answer she would have given earlier. After what she had learned, she thought that it would be best if they stick to what they had first agreed on. So, she shook her head. “No, Zach, I have to leave. We had a deal.”

Disappointment painted his handsome face. “Why? What’s keeping you, Jules?”

He sounded like a desperate child that she wanted to just give him a hug and words of reassurance.

“Zach, I don’t want to live in regrets later on. I don’t want to ruin what we have because of this show. This show will turn our relationship in chaos, you know that. I will have to leave, and when all of this is over, when everything’s still as what they are between you and me, we’ll see then. But for now, I need to go.”

“I understand your point, Jules, but what if you’ll change your mind while you’re out there? What if I can’t find you?”

She smiled. “Then I guess you’ll just have to make a way.”

“What do you mean by that?” he demanded gently.

She shrugged. “Go home, Zach, it’s been a long day.”

“I’m sleeping here.”

“No, of course not. The crew will be coming here tomorrow to pick me up. See you at the ranch,” she smiled, stood up, and came closer to him. She planted a gentle kiss on his cheek and whispered, “I’m glad you told me the truth.”

“Is that a plus point?” he grinned.

She nodded and walked out of the kitchen. “You have to go home. Your car’s probably getting tired of waiting.”

She heard him sigh behind her. “Okay…”

 *****

Later that night, Julianne wondered if she had handled that matter well.

Was it wrong to not have burst in anger when Zach told her the truth about the bet?

But she didn’t feel anger. She felt confusion, and she was once again reminded of what Mr. Astor told her in the ranch. Zach was really still a child. Who would bother going through such a hectic motion of being the freaking Bachelor just for a freaking bet with a friend? A child would do that to prove a point. As an adult, Julianne wasn’t so sure.

And she had No right to be angry. He didn’t know about her when he made the bet. She didn’t know him. It would have been irrational and childish if she nagged about it.

Her mind was in rumble she didn’t know what to think anymore.

You’re such a moron. Didn’t you tell Zach that you have to go? What are you whining about? Leave, wait for him, and if he doesn’t come, go on, her mind scolded.

Yes, that was right. She already told Zach she had to leave. She couldn’t back out now. But she wouldn’t wait. He’d have to go after her because she would be very busy with her tour.

Sleep now, Julianne… she told herself and she did.

 *****

Zach was a bit pissed, really. He was hoping she would change her mind and stay. And as what he had feared, she was still thinking of leaving. Fine, she could go if she wanted. But he was not letting go of her. Liam could go to hell about the consequence whatever the hell it would be.

“What happened?” Liam asked when he jumped out of the car and stormed to the house.

“It’s your freaking fault,” he muttered.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing, just…forget about it,” he snapped and walked to the door. He didn’t want to snap at Liam just because what he wanted couldn’t happen. He had to accept this thing and take it as a challenge.  If Julianne was thinking he would back out of his words about being in love with her, she was wrong and he would prove that.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?”

Liam stepped back and held up his hands. “Okay, okay, just calm down. God, you’re—”

“Shut up. I’ll talk to you later.”

He was already tired and he had to take a good rest. The girls would be coming back soon and he had to be at his best for he would have to let Julianne go…for now, that is.

 *****

Julianne was quiet when she met the ladies in the hangar the next day. Chloe and Pauline kept talking non-stop about how wonderful their time with Zach were, and how he was all so charming and sweet. For a brief moment, she wondered if what they were saying were true. If that was the case, then she was cool with it. As long as Zach didn’t do anything wrong that would make her believe them, she would not mind their bragging. Penny was looking haggard for having the task of a listener. She had to go through hell smiling and nodding at the two narcissistic ladies quacking their stupid mouths over and over again.

Being quiet when everybody else was busily talking, making you obviously an outcast from an outsider’s point of view, was no problem for Julianne. In fact, she didn’t want to be tagged as one of the three ladies sitting across her. Fatima was busy doing some paper works at the rear end of the plane, obviously behind something that Jack wanted to be done. She had heard some camera guys talking about Jack being irritated lately, and Julianne might just have an inkling for the reason why. The director was obviously missing Kim and was itching for this stupid show to be over.

“So, Julianne, how was your day with Zach?” Chloe’s voice asked.

Julianne wanted to pretend that she didn’t hear them, but she forgot to put on her earphones. “It was okay,” she replied dryly.

“As expected,” Chloe chortled. Pauline laughed with her while Penny just awkwardly snickered. Really, since when did Pauline and Chloe decided they were too much alike? Should she warn Chloe to beware about her ex-friend who stabs people in the back? Maybe she shouldn’t bother. They both deserve what they would do to eachother.

She shifted in her chair to look out the window of the plane. This would be a very long ride.

 *****

Zach was sitting outside in the porch with Liam, waiting for the girls.

“No, I can’t do it. That’s just too embarrassing, man. My dad will kill me.”

“It’s the consequence I want you to do,” Liam uttered, his eyes glinting wickedly.

“Can I do something else instead? That’s just unthinkable,” Zach shook his head, trying to take the picture out of his head. The thought of it was not at all funny. As for Liam, it was, because his friend was smiling thoroughly enjoying it. “It’s not funny, man.”

“It is for me…”

“No, it’s wicked. No gentleman would do that.”

“You want to do it too, I know that.”

“No, because it’s not funny. This is different. My father would kill me.”

“He won’t,” his friend shook his head. “Your mother on the other hand—”

“Don’t start with that,” he warned.

“Okay, fine…look, they’re here,” Liam nodded his head to the direction of the road.

Zach’s head snapped at the van driving in, getting closer. His heart started racing. This would be the last day he would see Julianne, the last dinner he would have to share with her before he could finish the damn show and go after her.

He stood up and so did Liam.

“Is she leaving?” his friend asked, serious this time.

Zach just nodded. “Yes.” It was a good thing his voice did not break.

“I’ll be leaving with her,” Liam said in a low voice.

“You’re going home because there’s no fun here anymore,” Zach said matter-of-factly.

“No, because Chanty’s been calling me all day about work.”

“How are things going with you two?”

“It’s not something I’d like to discuss right now. I’ll tell you about it when you get out of this show.”

Zach nodded and smiled when Julianne emerged out of the van. And his face fell when he saw that she was carrying a small bag. She was really leaving. No big suitcase like Chloe, Pauline, and Penny—just one bag for an overnight stay. All hope escaped out into the vast ranch air.

It was getting dark and the sky was orange in color. It only made his sinking mood go down the pit.

Julianne was first in line to come towards them, her smile shallow but nice.

“Hi, Jules,” he greeted, trying to scare away the possible cracking of his voice. He was not a child to cry over such a thing like a girl leaving. Like he would not go after her?

“Hi,” she uttered, “Hi, Liam.”

“Hi, Zach!” Pauline, Chloe, and Penny shouted together followed by a giggle.

He groaned inwardly and looked at Liam. His friend winked and walked away with Julianne inside the house.

“Hi, ladies,” he forced himself to give each of them a peck on the cheek. “Come inside for dinner. It’s been waiting for you.” He turned around and walked inside the house. Julianne was already sitting with Liam around the table.

There was something different about her tonight. She seemed too relaxed for his liking. Was it all pretend? Maybe she was trying to make their separation as cool as it could be.

“No, really?” she was asking his friend when Zach came in the room with the three ladies. She saw them and fell quiet.

Zach smiled and ushered the others to sit down.

 *****

As usual, dinner was once again reigned by Chloe and her oh-so-amazing stories. Like anyone really cared.

Julianne ate her dinner with a smile, sharing secret glances with Zach. Her departure was getting near. She knew he would keep his promise this time, and that she would leave first thing tomorrow morning.

“I see you guys have reacquainted after the visits…” Brent’s voice made them all stop what they were doing. No, really, actually, the dude startled the hell out of them, suddenly popping out of nowhere.

The host looked at them with solemn eyes, more likely practiced than natural. “I regret to say that it’s time for another Rose Ceremony, Zach.”

Zach’s eyes flickered towards Julianne. One last look of hope and she had to quench it to pieces. This had to happen. She gave a small nod, indicating she was ready to leave. Physically, yes, but emotionally, of course not.

Liam was the first to get up since no one was willing to go first outside the dining room. Julianne forced herself to get up and so did Zach. The expression on his face was now serious.

Chloe and the others did the same and one by one, they went outside with Brent leading the way outside where they had set up a small stage for the evening.

Julianne’s heart was thumping against her chest as she stood in front of Zach with Chloe, Penny, and Pauline.

 *****

“Are you ready, Zach?” Brent asked as the flowers were wheeled beside him.

Zach cleared his throat before speaking. “I hate doing this,” was all he could say. It was true. He hated sending home the first real woman who made him feel like a man.

Brent stepped aside and gave him the floor. He looked at the white roses—three of them. No more roses to hand Julianne. He took one and looked at the ladies. There was no more reason to drag this thing so he uttered, “Chloe.”

The girl literally had water in her eyes. They may be fake or real, but he didn’t care. Actually, he didn’t care at all if they felt happy or not. He was mourning inside because he knew he’d be in hell without Julianne.

He didn’t ask if Chloe wanted the rose of not because she grabbed it out of his hand as soon as she stepped over to get it.

“Pauline,” he announced after the picking the second rose.

Pauline was a bit gracious this time, apparently knew that the last time was…well, ungracious. She smiled, took the rose he offered and went to stand beside Chloe.

Zach looked at Julianne. Her eyes were telling him he should do the right thing. But sending her home was not right at all. But he had to if he wanted her trust.

He picked the last remaining flower and said, “Penny.”

As Penny huffed out a sigh of relief and walked forward to get her flower, Zach felt a whirling sensation of regret, denial, and fear. Regret that he didn’t do enough to make Julianne stay. Denial that she was leaving for good. And fear that he couldn’t get her back.

Everybody was silent in a weird way when finally, Julianne was left standing alone. Maybe it was because everyone knew Zach had always liked her and it was kind of a shock that he was letting her leave.

Pauline, probably thinking she was still Julianne’s friend, walked over and gave her a hug. Julianne returned it half-heartedly as what Zach guessed. Chloe did not bother to say her goodbye. She was not someone who was a fan of making pretend. Penny smiled at Julianne and gave her a small hug of goodbye. There were no tears. None at all.

Zach stepped down and hugged her intimately, holding her closer to him. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

She just smiled at him.

It was weird. She was not saying anything and it made him want to shake her. He wanted to know if she was going to be okay, if she was going to miss him, or if she was just willing to forget everything.

He couldn’t let that happen, he thought.

“I’ll miss you, Zach,” she murmured and stepped away from him.

What did she mean by that? What the hell did that mean? He was just about to ask her when Brent interjected by saying, “We will miss having you around, Julianne. But…” he looked at the remaining ladies who had been glaring at Julianne for stealing Zach at the last moment. “Ladies, the battle is getting tight, isn’t it?”

They just nodded and Julianne took that cue to go and enter the house.

 *****

She didn’t dare look back at Zach. She had to go and she knew it. This was her choice, after all. She chose this and she had to stand to it.

She felt nothing, really. Empty, actually, and she was hoping it would stay that way until she went away. Breaking down while she was in this place was not in the plan. Crying would be for later.

For now, she had to prepare for tomorrow’s departure.

And she would go away. Whatever the future for her and Zach might be, it would be known once the show was over.

But could she wait that long?

Chapter 29

Liam had shared the journey back to New York with her and they had the chance to talk seriously. She didn’t want to, but the man loved talking about how Zach had changed since he entered the show. He told her stories of how Zach had been spoiled by his mother and how he looked at life like it was nothing but easy.

“But I guess you should believe him when he tells you he loves you, Julianne,” Liam had said. “He had never told that to anyone as far as I am concerned.”

“You’re not just saying that because you want to win the bet, right?” she had asked.

His laughter rang out inside the plane. “Trust me, Julianne. I knew I would win the moment we made the bet. Zach is destined to meet his match and I guess he did. And though I would love to see him heartbroken just because I want him to experience it, I still want him to experience the happiness of it.”

And now, as Julianne lay awake in her bed, her mind wondered what Zach was doing right that very moment. She looked at her watch.

10:30 in the evening.

It had been three days since she left the ranch and since that last talk she had with Zach just before she left.

“You’ll wait for me, right?”

“We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.”

“That’s not really reassuring, Jules. You know I’ll come find you. And I will.” His gaze was intense as he said it.

She had wanted to believe him. Desperately so, but she could never know with Zach. He had always been impulsive. He always did what he wanted to do.

Earlier in the evening, she watched the latest airing of the show itself. She wished she didn’t because seeing Zach in that television, knowing it was impossible to reach him at that moment, was giving her feelings of desperation. She wanted to dive into the screen so she could touch him for real. She reminded herself this was her choice and now she just had to let things happen the way they were supposed to.

She was one of those who didn’t believe in fate. Fate couldn’t do everything for you. Sometimes, you have to take actions. But there are moments that you have to wait for the right moment to act. And right now, it was the right moment for Julianne to do the same.  She had to wait.

It was hard, yes. But she also had a life to live. Not everything revolved around the thoughts of Zach and being together with him.

And that very same thought put her to sleep to face yet another day tomorrow.

 *****

Zach was getting moody, worse than Jack as a matter of fact. He could smile from time to time when he was facing the ladies just for the sake of keeping the show alive. In reality, deep inside, he was cursing himself for allowing himself to be in this situation, surrounded by the vainest of all women.

The only comforting thought that he had was when he was able to look through the contract he had with the show. It said that he was not urged to choose anyone and in fact, he could ditch everyone in the end.

The last talk he had with Julianne was something he wanted to forget. She did not give him that much hope, but he knew her reasons. She was trying to protect herself from the hurt that she might get if he could not do what he promised—which he would never do.

For now, he was with three women, all willing and desperate to make him fall in love with them. While he on the other hand was mourning for the loss of the only one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

She’s not going anywhere, he reassured himself.

In the past, it never bothered him that he lost something because he was confident he would get it back as he always had. But now, he was not very sure of that. Yes, he wanted Julianne back, but she was too free for him to catch without a fight. If she could just wait for another two weeks, he would be at peace. But what did she do? She told him they’d cross the bridge when they got there. Hell, how could he be sure they would even go there?

Well, I just have to make sure I’ll get there, won’t you? I’ll cross the bridge alone if I have to and she better be on the other side.

Yes, that was what he would do. He would definitely make sure they would get there and the bridge better be there when it was time.

 *****

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Diane asked her for the nth time.

She nodded, looking at herself in the mirror. She’d be doing an interview in front of the television for the first time in her life. Obviously, her privacy was no more when she entered that stupid show. Then again, no time to whine about it since it was her choice in the first place. Everywhere she went, people identified her, some of them avid fans of her books while some were viewers of the show who could be haters or lovers of her.

To her surprise, no one had attempted to throw eggs at her. Yes, there were some who were bold enough to say to her face that they were glad she got kicked off the show and she was completely fine with that. There were those nice ones as well that told her she should still be in the show and that Zach was stupid to let her go. Yet again, she didn’t care. People got their own set of opinions and she respected each and every one of them.

“What if they ask you about the show? About Zachary Astor? There’s a big chance they will, you know,” her friend asked.

“I’ll answer the best way I can,” she replied.

It was not a really a big show, the one she would be on. It was just freaking Oprah herself. At first, she wanted to say no, but who could say no to the woman? Hell, she better just jump off the cliff if she did otherwise.

“Ms. Grey, you’re up,” a crew popped inside the dressing room with a smile.

Julianne stood up and tried to calm herself. She couldn’t think of Zach right now. Her career was the first thing she had to think of for now. Zach was busy with the show and so was she.

“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome one great author, J. Green!” Oprah was saying as she walked her way to the center of the studio. It was a good thing they still considered using her pen name and not just Ms. Grey.

“Hi,” she greeted Oprah when she reached her seat and waved at her fans. “Hi, guys.”

Oprah looked at her and she was glad the lady was nice. Really, her name was intimidating enough. “Your book is really doing great, Julianne.”

“Thanks,” she answered.

“I read it, and I am hoping you’ll sign my copy?” Everyone laughed.

“If you give me an autograph, I will,” she chided back.

The lady laughed. “So, is there another book you’re working on? We all know you’re busy with promotional tours and all, but is there something that keeps you busy when you’re alone?”

“Yeah, there’s another book coming up—”

“Does it have the name Zachary Astor in it?” Oprah asked her, eyes twinkling.

The crowd cheered and for a moment, Julianne was speechless. “That’s a secret,” she answered with a small laugh.

“So,” Oprah looked at the audience, “there’s a bachelor in it!”

Julianne could feel her face flush. “You’ll all find out when it’s ready to be read,” she offered.

“But seriously, Julianne, what made you enter the show, The Bachelor? Your agent told us you did it for experience?”

She nodded. She was not going to tell anyone about the contract she made with Jack without the man’s approval, so she was just going to tell them her side of the story. “Yes, I did it because I need to have an inside look at the in’s and out’s of the TV world.”

“Is this for the book you’re working on?”

“Yes, it is.”

“So how is it to be inside the show? I mean, a lot of people love that show, especially now with Zachary Astor as the man to be won over.”

“It’s not all picnic,” she answered.

“And how’s Zach as a person? Did you get to know him better while in the show?”

She considered that question for a moment, “Yes, I did. He’s not what I expected him to be, really. I don’t know if he grew while doing the show, but he’s much of a grown man now than when I first met him. He’s more mature in a lot of ways as well.”

“Are you in love with Zachary Astor?”

Okay, now, that question was the hardest.

Julianne looked Oprah in the eyes and said, “Can I answer that when I get back here to promote my next book?”

The woman laughed along with the audience. Oprah turned to the camera and said, “We’ll be back for more after a short break!”

 *****

“Hey, it’s time…” Fatima announced two days later.

He had been spending the days with the girls, doing the usual dates and other activities that the show had planned for them. He was like a robot, just saying yes to everything, while his mind was off somewhere, wondering where Julianne might be at the moment.

It was time for yet another Rose Ceremony, and Brent was already waiting for him with the girls outside the house. He was his usual smiling face, but he was different. The excitement that he would be handing Julianne a rose was gone. The only thing left was the will to rush things up so that he could go chase after her.

“Three women, two roses,” Brent started when Zach was finally standing beside him, facing Penny, Pauline, and Chloe. “The competition is getting heavy and the final decision lies on Zach. Zach?”

The host looked at him and Zach nodded. He was ready, like he really cared who to give a damn rose to anyway. He picked one white flower and looked at the ladies before him. He wanted either Pauline and Chloe out and he was just about to call out Penny’s name when he remembered Liam and the bet’s consequence.

His rational mind was against it, but it was so tempting. He called out, “Chloe,” anyway.

Chloe breathed a sigh of relief and took the flower from him.

Now, he only had to say Pauline’s name and Liam would be happy.

“Pauline,” he uttered and just at the same time, Penny burst into tears. He went to her as soon as Pauline took the rose. “You’ll meet someone better,” he whispered to Penny as he hugged her goodbye.

Brent stepped in and talked his narration as he usually did. Zach stepped back to let Pauline and Chloe say their fake tearful goodbyes to Penny. When Penny was gone to go upstairs and pack, glasses of champagne were passed around and Zach was ready to make his toast. He looked at the two women before him and smiled.

“We’re getting close to finding real love and I hope that the two of you will stay as beautiful and great the way that you already are,” he forced himself to lie.

Next Rose Ceremony, he wouldn’t have to lie. He’d be as honest as he could and he knew Liam would like that.

 *****

Jules was gaping at the screen when she watched the Rose Ceremony coming to a close. He let Penny go?

He hated Pauline’s gut, she knew that.

Why is he letting her stay?

He’s planning something, Julianne thought strongly.

She punched the red button of the remote and sighed. She promised herself she would stop watching the show, but she couldn’t.

Just one look at him, she always told herself, but she always ended up watching the whole freaking episode.

With much effort, she pushed herself away from the couch and to her kitchen. She started making coffee and she was absently staring at it when thoughts of Zach crossed her mind again. She was beyond the point of trying to ignore his presence, actually tired of it that she had finally given in to the thought that he would always be there to haunt her conscious and unconscious hours.

The pang in her chest every time the thoughts of “what if’s” entered her mind was still there.

What if she stayed and went through with the show?

What if she said yes to him?

She shook her head. She made the right decision. Soon, the show would end and fate would be the judge of what would happen next. She just hoped that fate wouldn’t be that much busy as to forget that she was waiting for Zach’s promise now that she decided fate was, after all, the only thing that she could hang on to. As much as she hated to let things happen without doing anything, she knew she couldn’t do anything for now. But Zach could.

He promised he would.

Julianne sighed and closed her eyes. She couldn’t forget Zach, fine. She could wait for him for one more week and if he couldn’t come rushing back to her, it would be…well, it would be unimaginable for now.

Chapter 30

Kim visited her one day and Julianne was thankful for her. What she didn’t expect was Kim’s appearance. Sure, the lady was still the Asian girl that she knew, but Kim looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

“You don’t look good yourself,” Kim retorted when she pointed that out, looking down at her baggy shirt and pants. “You shouldn’t go out looking like that. You’re a celebrity now.”

Julianne shook her head and sipped her coffee. They were at a café just across her building, basking in the sunlight.

“But of course, you don’t care,” Kim added, rolling her eyes with an amused look.

“How is it going with Jack?” she asked.

Kim looked at her dryly. “How do you think? That stupid show’s eating all his time and I can’t wait for it to be done with. Can you see this?” she pointed at the area under one slit eye. “This is because of the late night phone calls we can only get once a day. What is Zach doing anyway? He should just dump those two and get it over with.” Her friend looked at her meaningfully. “You’re not getting tired of waiting are you?”

Julianne hoped she could answer that one. When she left the show, she was certain that waiting wouldn’t be a problem. But now, as time passed by, she was not sure anymore. Though her mind was telling her that Zach would definitely find her no matter what, there was still that woman part of her that jumps to every freaking horrifying possibilities like Zach might change his mind and forget about her as what he originally planned to in the first place when he made the bet with Liam. Another part of her kept wondering if she should really wait, reminding herself that she had a life to live as well.

“I don’t want to wait, but I’m doing it. I don’t want to believe in fate but I’m praying it won’t be harsh on us,” she finally admitted with a sigh. “Is it always this difficult?”

Kim chuckled, her shoulders shaking, “You haven’t been in love before.” It was not a question. It was a statement that was very true.

Julianne chose not to comment on that one.

“Yes, it’s difficult. Love is no picnic as what they always say in books and movies. Sometimes, we are too focused on the “happy” elements of the stories we see and watch that we forget about the conflict in the story. It’s not all sunshine and long walks under the moon,” her friend uttered, looking her in the eyes. “It’s about waiting, anticipating, and feeling. You should write a novel about it. The real story of what a real love story should be.”

Now, this was one reason why she just couldn’t write romance. It could be as complicated as a freaking suspense novel with a lot of twists and turns. At first, she never ventured in that genre because she thought it shallow and repetitive. You just have to have two main characters, a plot where they meet, fight, and reconcile in the end. But now, she was not so sure. How it could be compared in real life was not something Julianne could plot out. She couldn’t even put them in words, but Kim could as she continued on with her little love speech.

“I sometimes blame these stupid romantic novels and movies. They always leave women wishing for the exact same thing they portray. The moment we close the book, or the moment we walk out of the cinema, we always have that hidden wish back in our heads to meet that guy who went down on his knees for his girl. But it’s not always the case, is it? No, we always find ourselves whining why we can’t have that fairytale shit we just read about or watched that we missed that cute guy who just passed by or the one sitting behind us. And,” her friend added, raising one finger, “then, if we find that one special person, we do stupid things because we always compare the real relationship with that perfect one we saw or read. But the real story is: love is not just about fate putting two people together. For most of us, it’s about the moments we miss and the moments we want to have. Love is not always like the movies and the books. It’s about two people creating their own story to tell their children and grandchildren. It’s about putting aside what should be and let things unfold as they should no matter how long it would take.”

At first, she didn’t know where Kim was going with her speech, but it finally dawned on her what her friend wanted to say.

“I think I was a victim of that,” Kim admitted. “I mean, I joined that stupid show because I really believed that I would find true love. I found it romantic. But look how it ended up for me. At first, I fought the attraction I had towards Jack because I had a shot with Zach. I got into the show in the first place, right? And Zach kept giving me a rose. I had a chance, right? But I was so stuck in my own false fantasies of love that I nearly let something true and exciting get away. But now look at me…” she beamed as she spread her arms wide, “I’m more than happy as I had hoped for. Don’t mind the eye bags and the haggard face, but I’m happy, Julianne. And I know you’ll be happy too. Don’t fight it anymore. Don’t think about it too hard. You didn’t want to be in that show, you didn’t even expect to find love. But you did and you should be grateful for it. You don’t have to be like me and most other girls who read the books and the movies just to feed their love hormones. Wait for Zach because I know it would be worth it. You should believe that one as well. Sometimes, it’s fun to take the plunge, right? Live life without what-ifs,” Kim finished with a wink.

Julianne smiled gratefully. Hearing that from Kim, she felt quite relieved. Those were the words she had longed to tell herself but couldn’t trust to obey. But now, coming from a friend, it only meant that she was doing the right thing.

Okay, she’d wait for Zach. But not that long. She’d give him time after the show ended.

 *****

Zach was in hell. Imagine being trapped in a freaking closet with rats fighting each other, eager to get the cheese for themselves. They were too eager to push the other to the mouse trap and take the cheese. And Zach was one big cheese to catch for them. That was what he felt like being surrounded by two women who constantly fought for his attention that even the presence of the cameras didn’t stop them from almost baring their whole flesh.

Just like right now, he was having a stupid picnic date with Chloe and Pauline who were dressed like they were about to do a pictorial for a cigarette commercial.

And they had been talking nonsense about themselves and what they dream to have when they got married.

He shared a look with Steve, the camera guy who was with him when he had that last date with Julianne. The man was grinning like a maniac as Pauline chatted on about her brothers while Chloe tried to cut in with stories about herself.

“Really?” was all he could say. As a matter of fact, it was the only word he could manage to utter from the start.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Chloe asked him a while later when he finally got tired of entertaining the raging narcissism.

He cleared his throat and smiled, “Yes, I think so…”

“So you have someone in mind?” Pauline was bold enough to ask. Chloe kept her mouth shut but he was certain that she was as eager to know his answer as Pauline.

“Definitely,” he answered with a suspenseful look. There was no way he would give away any hint of what he was planning to do tomorrow night.

The girls were due to fly back to New York later that afternoon for tomorrow’s big event. Zach didn’t care where the location might be because that would not be happening. He had other plans for tonight.

 *****

“Are you sure about this? I heard the producers didn’t like it,” Jack asked after lunch. Pauline and Chloe had gone upstairs to pack their bags.

“They can’t stop me,” he uttered. “They can give me orders like keeping someone in the show, but they can’t stop this one.”

Jack grinned. “I don’t really care if you’re going to make a fool of yourself. It’s a win-win situation for me.”

“I know,” Zach returned his grin.

“But you’ll be facing a lot of issues when you get out of this show,” Jack added.

“I don’t care. I’m just worried that my father’s not going to like it.”

“I bet he won’t.”

“Not that I’m really worried. My mother’s going to be happy. She might not be that happy with what I’m about to do, but she’d jump with joy once she realizes why I’ll be doing this.”

Jack did not answer. He continued to look at the horizon with a smile.

“I’m just hoping you’re all set?”

The director nodded. “We’re all set for you, Zach. The crew’s all eager to have a look at their faces. Steve for one volunteered to take Pauline’s close-up look.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“You know, I never really expected you to grow up in this show,” Jack said, his tone serious now.

“What do you mean?”

“Let me be honest by saying that I didn’t like doing this show with you in the first place,” the man said with a smile. “I didn’t like the air you surrounded yourself in and it made me want to gag every time you smile like you own everything.”

Zach scoffed. “You should do a high-five with Jules for that.”

“But somehow, I saw and noticed you grow up as a man. I knew about the arrangement you had with Julianne in that plane when you first met. You led her to believe you’ll send her home and you didn’t. It was a childish act. You also made every freaking thing you could do just to get her alone. You reveled in the thought that you got all those women, including the two upstairs, down on their knees for your attention. You don’t want to know the stories going on around the crew when you were acting like a child. But you changed. I guess you changed a lot, didn’t you?”

He sighed, his eyes looking at the same line of horizon. “I don’t know, but I feel different. I see things differently and if that’s a big change, I guess that’s good, right?”

“Julianne wouldn’t have given you a chance if she thought otherwise,” Jack said, nodding his head. “So, big guy, I need to go and see to it that your last chance of playing a childish game goes well.”

“It’s not going to be a childish game, man,” he shook his head. “It will be a moment of truth and consequence.”

Jack frowned. He didn’t know exactly what Zach was planning to do. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see…” Zach grinned and walked away.

 *****

Julianne was doing her laundry when her phone rang.

“Julianne speaking,” she said after picking up the phone.

“Turn on your television! They’re going live in minutes!” Kim’s ecstatic voice boomed in her ear.

“What?”

“The show is going live any minute now!”

“But it’s not yet the Rose Ceremony—”

“Just turn on your television and watch! Don’t hang up!”

“Okay,” she walked around the room and searched for her remote. When she found it, she pushed the red button. There was no need for her to scan for the channel because it was already on. “Okay, explain what’s going on?”

“Jack called me earlier and told me something big is going to happen tonight.”

Julianne’s mind started wandering around different thoughts.

What is Zach up to now?

“What something big?”

“I don’t know but Jack said Zach wants you to watch.”

“I don’t know, Kim, I’m having a bad feeling about this one…” she uttered. Knowing Zach, he was definitely up to something if he wanted her to watch the show.

“If Zach wants you to watch it, it could mean he’s really up to something big,” Kim uttered repeated her thoughts. “Don’t put down the phone because we’re watching it together.”

Julianne didn’t answer because she was trying hard not to panic or get too excited.

“You there?”

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“It’s on!” Kim cried out and Julianne’s eyes flickered to the screen in front of her. She dropped down on her couch and watched.

 *****

Zach faced the two women, innocent of what was about to happen. They were dressed for travel, their pretty blond hair styled fashionably.

They were expecting him to give one last final speech before sending them home for tomorrow’s event, each hoping that they would be receiving a ring from him.

Liam’s words rang in his ears. This was a wicked consequence to do, not something he had imagined from his friend, but considering what Chloe and Pauline did to Julianne while she was here, it was the least he could do.

He was going to send them home anyway, so why further drag the matter?

Brent was nowhere in sight that day. Well, the host was expecting to have his shoot tomorrow, so he had gone on his way to prepare…for nothing.

Zach cleared his throat and looked at the ladies seriously. This was no laughing matter even for him. He knew that he would be hurting them and he felt bad about it.

“This will be a goodbye speech,” he finally uttered.

The smile on their faces did not waver. Of course, they were expecting him to say goodbye until tomorrow when he’d meet them again.

“Seriously, this is a goodbye speech,” he repeated, looking them in the eyes.

Slowly, visibly, their smiles turned to frowns.

Chapter 31

“What—” Pauline started but somehow, she couldn’t finish her sentence that her mouth remained open. Chloe’s frown deepened.

Zach was serious though. It was not the time to look at their faces and laugh like he would have if he was his old self. But he bet Liam was laughing his ass out by now wherever he was. At the moment, he was more concerned on how to say the words he needed to say so that he could make the girls know that he was sincere and sorry for what he was about to do.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said with full-blast honesty. “I know I’ll be unfair to both of you and myself if I continue on with this,” he added and that was the moment when Chloe’s mouth dropped open in that pretty way of hers.

Everybody was silent now, including the crew behind them. Fatima, who was standing just a few meters away, dropped her clipboard on the floor. Zach couldn’t see Jack’s reaction but somehow, he got a feeling that the director already saw this coming. Everyone in the crew knew of a surprise but still, it was apparent on their faces that they didn’t see this one coming.

“Before I take your words, I would like to add a few things,” he said once again, his voice the only sound in the room. “I would like to address the issue of the reason why I became the Bachelor,” he shifted his weight on one foot. Hell, he should have asked to sit down. “It started with a bet.”

With that last word, Pauline and Chloe straightened on their seats and glared at him. Oh, so now he was the villain. Good.

“A bet I started with a friend.” With the mention of that last word again, a knowing look washed over the girls’ features. Liam was not going to like this. “A long time ago, a few months ago, I never believed in love. I thought it was just a piece of trashy word some optimistic crazy person coined to sell greeting cards and flowers. I wanted to prove to my friend that I can ditch twenty-five women and never look back at any of them. And I was confident I would win.” He looked them in the eyes and a smile crept up at one corner of his mouth. “I never thought I would be very wrong. Very wrong indeed.”

Somehow, Pauline and Chloe must have found something hopeful with his last sentence that their glares turned to sweet smiles. Really, these two should have joined a drama contest. They were so good at shifting from one facial expression to another.

“And I let it go,” he added and once again, their faces were startled. “I let her go because she wanted to. We made a deal that I’d let her go right after the top four.”

He let his words linger in the air until they finally registered in everyone’s mind. Pauline gasped and Chloe almost growled or something.

“Yes, it’s Jules. I’m in love with her and I think I might have made some mistakes because she still went away. I guess it was for the best because I couldn’t stand another day seeing that you girls hated her. Still hates her by the looks on your faces,” he added the last words with bitterness. “I guess you have your own reasons for hating her and I respect that. I also have a few reasons why I’m doing this damn speech. See, obviously, I lost the bet and as a consequence, I was tasked to do this.”

Zach could almost taste the curiosity hovering over everyone and he hated the moment. He wished he didn’t have to do this, but he had to for two reasons. One, so that Liam would stop prodding him. Second, because he believed that Pauline and Chloe deserved to know that they at least needed to change in some ways if not all.

“Pauline, you’re beautiful, sweet, sexy, and caring,” he started, and the girl smiled at him. God, he wished he should just stop there, but he remembered his purpose and continued, “Caring in a way that you care for no one at all but yourself. Maybe it’s because you grew up with a bunch of brothers who would do anything for you. Don’t take that in a bad way. I respect your brothers,” yes, of course he had to say that unless he wanted Tom and Jerry to come throw a grenade at him. Pauline’s face had turned sour. Girls tend to have that expression when you throw negative comments right at their face, so he was okay with that. “I appreciated you when you pretended to be Jules’ friend, but that respect flew out the window the moment you talked trash about her. Never in my time with Jules did I hear a single bad word about you, just so you know.”

Okay, maybe he should stop right there because he was sounding like a nagging preschool teacher.

“Just…” he couldn’t find the right words as he stared at Pauline’s tear-streaked face. “Just learn to love your friends as much as you love yourself and you’ll find the perfect guy for you. We like our women to be confident with themselves that they don’t have to make some people look bad.” He shifted his head at Chloe’s direction and added, “That same goes with you, Chloe. I like you, I really do,” he admitted and Chloe smiled at him warmly but not as confident as her usual smile, knowing for certain that she would receive some nagging as well. “You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re confident—not just confident enough though,” he said in a low voice.

Pauline was sobbing now beside Chloe whose face was fixed with an awkward smile as she received his words.

“You never hid your opinion against others and I liked that about you. But I wish that you’d stop talking about yourself all the time. You don’t have to brag about how you were a few years ago because any man good enough for you would still want you if you will only show them your real self. I know that somewhere out there, someone will see you for who you are without you telling them every detail of yourself and they will love you for it. You have a very loving family who is eager for your attention. Give them that and you’ll receive the love you’ve been looking for.” He added a smile when finally, a tear rolled down Chloe’s face as she nodded.

That was what he liked about Chloe. She could understand.

“I’m not saying this because you were horrible to Jules. And I’m not saying Jules is perfect. If she were, she would have given you guys some lessons,” he chided. “But I just hope that you respect my decision and accept my apology for giving you false assurance that someone’s going to get a ring from me. Well, someone would get a ring from me if she would accept it,” he added.

To close his speech, he clasped his hands together and looked at everyone, turning from left to right, and finally stared at Chloe and Pauline.

“I enjoyed my stay here with you, I honestly did, but I don’t want this charade to go on any further when I know for sure that I will only be hurting either one of you if I let tomorrow happen. I would just eventually not choose anyone because I will be off to chase Jules wherever she might be.” He looked straight in the camera and said, “Jules, if you’re watching, wait for me.” He smiled and walked out of the room buzzing with silence apart from Pauline’s sobs.

 *****

Julianne was gaping at the screen just a few meters away from her. Kim’s continuous cussing on the phone wasn’t even entering her mind. She just couldn’t freaking believe that Zach would do that.

Was it the consequence he was talking about with Liam?

It should be. She knew Zach and never had she imagined he could do something like that to Chloe and Pauline—not that she objected to it, but it was not just Zach to do that.

And the last message addressed to her made her heart pound against her chest with excitement and alarm.

Was he really coming over?

That light, tingly feeling in her gut swirled like a maniac. She started to get restless. What should she do? What would she say when Zach eventually got here?

At that very moment, she was very certain he would be coming.

All of a sudden, that light weight in her gut started to rise up and she ran to the bathroom and threw up.

 *****

As soon as Zach reached his room, his phone started ringing.

He sighed when he saw who was calling.

“Mom,” he spoke first without giving his mother a chance to talk, “I know what I did, and you can tell dad—”

“Zach, what are you talking about? Your father’s in the hospital. We’ve been trying to reach you since this morning and—”

“What? What happened?” alarm rose to his throat. It couldn’t be because of what he did just now, right?

“He had a sudden heart attack—nothing major,” his mother added when he was about to bombard her with questions. “And he wants to see you,” his mother added in a whisper.

Well, that was a coincidence, he thought. “I just happen to be free of the show just now,” he announced. “I’ll be home tomorrow. He’s okay, right?”

“Yes, he’s okay. He’s scaring me though. He insists on seeing you.”

“Okay, I’ll be there tomorrow.”

 *****

Julianne thought that the sickness she felt last night was just because of the show, but it wasn’t. Not when she threw up again that morning.

She half-expected Zach to be at her door by the time she went out of her room, but there was no sign of him. What could have happened?

If she would be optimistic and rational, knowing Zach, she was sure that he’d be at her door by now with a bunch of flowers and his usual boyish grin. His absence told her something must have gone wrong.

Or maybe he changed his mind, the other part of her said with bitterness.

Julianne knew she was having some problem not just emotionally but physically as well. Just this morning, she already threw up twice.

You’re pregnant, one part of her suggested.

She planted her hand on her abdominal area and a series of thoughts came to mind. She counted the days and the months. She should be having her period by now, but it didn’t alarm her days before since she has an irregular cycle.

No, it’s impossible. It was only that one time, she argued, remembering that night at the cabin.

Oh my God… she groaned. It’s too early for this…

The first thing she did was to call Kim.

 *****

Zach was just about to get out of the house when he heard his name. He turned around and saw Chloe walking towards him. Because of what happened last night, the productions staff had to make some adjustments. They would be making another episode to make up for the one that would be impossible, which was the Rose Ceremony, and that included Chloe and Pauline staying for another day at the ranch.

“Chloe.”

“I see you’re leaving…” she looked at the small bag in his hand. “That eager to go to Julianne?”

“I have an emergency,” he rushed on. “If you have anything to say, just say it. I need to be on the road. The plane’s waiting.”

“I just want to say that you’re an ass and that you were right,” she said with her chin held up high.

For a moment, he frowned and when her words sank in, he grinned. “Glad you understand.”

“You made perfect sense and I appreciate your honesty. Honesty is very important for me.”

“I know and that’s what I like about you. Just remember what I said,” he winked and gave her a small hug.

“Good luck, Zach,” she smiled faintly at him. “I really thought we could have made it.”

“Well, we didn’t. I just hope you find the right guy,” he answered and walked away. He didn’t know where Pauline might be, but he was certain the lady was somewhere crying her eyes out.

He had a long drive to the airport. It seemed that Julianne would have to wait another day. Right now, he had to fulfill his obligation as a son.

 *****

“This is not really necessary,” she told Kim as they waited outside the doctor’s clinic.

“The test was positive, it’s not something that can just wait,” her friend told her dryly. Kim reached for her hand and asked, “Did Zach call yet?”

Julianne shook her head.

“I’ve been trying to call Jack last night and he hasn’t called back since. Maybe they’re busy with something. Zach doing that thing on live television must have shocked everyone.”

She knew Kim was just trying to calm her down or to reassure her, but she was thinking of the worst possible scenario. Hell, blame it on her possible pregnancy and the hormones that came with it, but she was almost certain that Zach was not coming for her.

When the previous patient with a bulging belly came out of the door, the receptionist called out, “Ms. Grey? You’re next.”

Julianne’s heart started beating. She clasped the piece of paper she was holding and the pregnancy kit she used earlier. She stood up and let go of Kim’s hand.

“It will be all right,” Kim whispered with a smile. God, she just hoped it would be okay.

Chapter 32

Zach heaved a sigh of relief when he entered his father’s hospital room. The man looked like he was ready to go skiing. But why did he want to see his son all of a sudden? That really scared Zach. One, he was not ready to lose his old man yet, and two, he was not surely ready to take over Astor Industries.

“The doctor said you we can’t stress him out,” his mother whispered beside him.

“He looks okay,” Zach pointed out.

“Of course I’m okay,” his father almost exclaimed, hearing his words. “I wanted to see you for another reason.” He fixed Zach with a serious look.

Not his usual what-did-you-do-again kind of serious look, but something like, I-need-you-do-me-a-favor kind.

“I want you to get out of that show,” his father ordered.

That was shocking, Zach thought. He looked at his mother. “You didn’t tell him?”

She looked away and said, “It’s your story to tell, not mine.”

“Tell me what?” his father demanded.

“That I left the show.”

His father gave him a look of doubt for a moment before saying, “And?”

“And what?”

“Where’s Julianne?”

Okay, that one was more of a shocker.

“I don’t know for certain,” Zach said irritably. “I would know the answer to that if you didn’t make me come over here just to order me to do something I already did.” Really, his father could have just called him if he really wanted him to leave the show. But Zach also knew that the old man might have planned to take his hospitalized state to his advantage to make his son do whatever he wanted in case Zach didn’t agree to his demands.

“You don’t know where she is?” his mother gasped, clutching her chest. Really, she was doing so much drama that he almost rolled his eyes. “You should have gone after her the moment she walked out of that show!”

“Mom, I would have if you didn’t call me!”

His mother’s jaw dropped and she looked at her husband.

“Well? Is there anything else?” he asked.

“It’s about the company …” his father started.

“Can it wait?” he asked patiently.

“Are you going to handle it?” his father asked.

“I like the ranch better, but I’ll try.”

His father sighed, “Just as I thought so…”

“Well, it’s a good thing Liam’s ready and you’re fine…” his mother told her husband.

Mr. Astor just nodded and when he looked up and saw his son still standing there, he frowned. “Why are you still here?”

“I…” Zach fought hard to contain his outburst. He ordered his son to come here, flying all the way from the ranch, just for some useless family meeting? But there was something different in his father’s eyes.

Maybe the old man really thought he was dying and he wanted to see his son for the last time.

He sighed and smiled at his father. “It’s good to see you well, dad.”

Mr. Astor just nodded, his lips twitching in a smile.

Zach turned to his mother and added, “See you later, mom.”

“Go get her!” his mother emphasized her cheer with her fist.

Zach shook his head and walked out of the room.

He wouldn’t wish his father did not call for him because he was glad he came and saw for himself that he was okay. And now that he was certain of that, he had to go to Julianne.

 *****

When Julianne reappeared outside, Kim was anxiously waiting for her with an expectant look.

“Well?” And there must be something in her look that made her friend stare at her with a worried look.

She nodded her head and burst out crying. So okay, she wanted a baby, but not this way!

Kim rushed towards her and enveloped her in a hug. “I’m okay, I’m okay…” she wiped her face with her hands. “Let’s go get some coffee…”

As they walked, she couldn’t help but notice Kim stealing glances at her with a smile.

“What?” she asked.

“Did it happen that night of the storm?”

Julianne suddenly realized she never really told Kim about how she actually got pregnant. It was just assumed by both of them that Zach was the father. Somehow, she felt guilty about it.

“You don’t have to be sorry, really, it’s nothing to me. I was into Jack that time and it’s nothing. Oh God, the girls must be pretty pissed once they find out.”

Julianne smiled at her friend briefly but the worried look on her face returned all of a sudden. “What if he doesn’t what this? I don’t think I can tell him.”

Kim stopped walking and looked at her dryly, “Julianne, the man’s completely dying in love with you and I think he’d be very happy to know that you’re carrying his child.”

“I don’t know Kim, but I’m afraid…” Julianne uttered, her eyes going up the ceiling to stop the tears. She was getting very emotional right now.

Everything happened so fast and she worried about a lot of things at the same time. One, Zach could be at her door right now and might be on his way out in disappointment. Second, she didn’t want to see him at the same time because that would mean she would have to tell him about the pregnancy. Third, what should she do now? She was not worried about what the public would say, but she was worried of how she should tell Diane. Fourth, if ever Zach didn’t come for her, should she go to him or should she just leave him in the dark?

They were just exiting the hospital when she saw a very familiar figure and before she could think further, she grabbed Kim’s hand and dragged her towards the pathway leading to the right.

“Jules?” Zach’s voice said behind them.

Ever had that feeling when you and your friend were strolling in the mall but you told your parents you were going to a friend’s house to do some work and then all of a sudden, while you were eating an ice cream, chatting with your friend, you saw your mother’s head and you just ran off leading nowhere, your heart seemed to have stopped, and you have that really powerful adrenaline running through your veins that you felt like you might trip over from running? Well, that was how Julianne felt as she tried her best to drag Kim as far away from Zach as possible.

“Wait, wait, is that Zach?” Kim asked behind her. “What is he doing here?” Her friend sounded amused and curious at the same time.

“Yes, come on!”

“Jules!” His voice was getting nearer now and Julianne realized she was not going to escape this. Of all places! But Kim was right. Why was he in the hospital? Did something happen to him? But he was obviously too healthy.

No, she didn’t think she could face him at the moment, not with all these pregnancy hormones kicking in right now.

But then she felt a strong force pulling her to a stop, almost landing her on her back. It was Kim.

She glared at her friend but Kim was glaring back at her. “Julianne, you can’t run. You have to face this. This is not you, remember? You don’t run.”

It was like a slap on the face. Yes, this was not her. She was not someone who would run. She was the one who would stop, turn around, and face anything. And that anything was Zach. He was running towards her with his grinning face.

Kim stepped aside and Julianne caught her hand. “Don’t leave, please.”

“I’ll be here,” her friend nodded.

Julianne squared her shoulders, her face blank. She could feel the tears behind her eyes as she watched Zach slowing down, his dark brown hair a mess, his green eyes holding hers, and his smile melting in a non-literal sense.

“I’m here,” he breathed out.

“Yes,” she just nodded.

Slowly, the smile on his face disappeared when he got a good look of her face. His eyes darted towards Kim who was standing beside her.

 *****

Zach wasn’t so sure how to handle the situation right now.

Questions flooded his brain.

Why is she here in the hospital? Why doesn’t she look so happy to see me? What is Kim doing here? Is she angry about the speech he made?

He finally decided to address the first question with concern. “Why are you in the hospital? Are you hurt?” he stepped forward, looking her over, and when he made a move to touch her, she stepped back.

Now, that one was like a big blow down his gut.

“Jules, what the hell is wrong?” he looked at Kim and asked when Julianne remained standing there speechless, her face pale. “What happened?”

Kim looked troubled, but he knew she knew what was going on. She looked at Julianne and then at him.

“Zach, I think we need to talk some other time…” Julianne started.

“No!” Kim’s word was stronger than his. Zach and Julianne both stared at her. “Tell him,” Kim told Julianne.

“Tell me what?” Zach asked.

Julianne looked confused, her eyes flickering everywhere except his. “I’m…I’m…”

“What?” he asked impatiently.

“She’s pregnant,” Kim hushed out the words impatiently. “She didn’t want to tell you because she just found out herself.”

That very moment, Zach felt like he was flying. Not because of full happiness, but with a mixture of different feelings. He was not sure he was ready to be a dad, but the thought that Julianne was carrying a part of him inside her was enough to put a smile on his face. “Really?”

“I…” Julianne threw her friend a look before looking at him. “Let’s not talk about this right now, please. I’m tired and I want to be alone for now—”

“Jules—”

“Zach, please, just give me time.”

“What else do you need to think about? You love me, I know that. I love you. I want that baby. What else is there to think about?” he asked incredulously. Really, this lady needed to seriously consider if she could still think straight.

She shot him a look and he kept his mouth shut. “I need time to freaking think, okay?!” she shouted with frustration.

Okay, that was not his Jules.

He was left speechless as the woman who had occupied his thoughts for days rushed past him and walked off.

“I’ll give you your time, but I’m not patient, Jules!” he shouted after her before she was out of earshot. Yes, he would give her time. For now. She was probably overflowing with so much hormones that her emotion was a wreck, but he wouldn’t let her make hasty decisions they would both regret later on.

She had told him before that the reason she was leaving was because of the probability that they wouldn’t make it out of the show because life outside the cameras was not the same. Well, hell, this was life and she was not handling it that well in his point of view.

He didn’t feel anything less different about her now that there were no cameras around, now that he was no longer the Bachelor. He still felt that same overwhelming feeling every time he saw her. He could still sense her presence around a ten-meter radius. Julianne was wrong.

They could have still made it if she didn’t leave because what they had was real. What they would have would be real.

 *****

Julianne wasn’t sure if she should be angry with Kim for spilling that information about her pregnancy to Zach. As a matter of fact, she was ambivalent on the matter. She wanted to let Zach know and Kim solved that bit for her. But she didn’t want him to know this early as well.

What? You were planning to buy some more time? Now, that was not really good, was it?

Okay, so now, problem solved, right?

She groaned and rolled on her stomach. She was on her bed and Kim was in the living room making some calls. She remembered she was pregnant and she rolled back on her back. The baby could get smothered or something, she thought.

Her phone kept ringing and Kim was the one who kept answering them like her friend was her own personal secretary. Diane had called and Kim told her Julianne was sick and she couldn’t come to the phone. Diane offered to come over but Kim told her Julianne wanted her to continue doing her work for the promotional tour upon Julianne’s orders.

Since she didn’t have a family to worry about, she only worried about Zach and her and their baby.

What would happen now? What if Zach only wanted the baby because he was too blinded by his love for her? What if he’d finally regret ever coming after her and accepting her baby? What if he’d leave them when he was done with them?

She couldn’t handle that. She was left by her father in an orphanage and it was not heaven. If she ever get to make it through this pregnancy, she would rather make it alone. What if Zach decided to leave the scene just when their baby was getting to know him? It would have an impact on the child and she couldn’t let her kid undergo what she went through in her past.

But something inside told her Zach would never do that. He’d be responsible and loving and caring like he always was. He would treasure them and the family they would be.

Julianne fell asleep with those thoughts in mind.

 *****

By the time Julianne woke up, she heard a commotion outside in her living room. Thinking it was Zach, she decided to confront him and tell him to give her more time, but lo and behold, she found that her place was being filled with flowers—tulips—and dozens of them.

Kim was holding the door open for some delivery guys to bring in the flowers. Her friend beamed at her and said, “Good, you’re awake. Guess where these came from.”

Julianne just groaned and walked to the largest basket and snatched the card sitting just on top of it. She opened it and read, “Jules, let these flowers remind you that I’m waiting. Zach.”

“You should really go to him, do some talking about a baby, and make out!”

Julianne wished she could do that. Well, she could actually do that right now, but how would she know when she couldn’t even trust herself to make a rational decision right at the moment? She looked at her friend and asked, “Aren’t you going to meet Jack? The show’s over and…” she trailed off, looking at the flowers.

“He’s still very busy wrapping things up. There are still things to shoot, he said,” Kim rolled her eyes.

“Thank you for doing this,” she went to give her friend a hug when she suddenly burst to tears. “Oh God, I hate these tears.”

“Pregnancy can be sloppy,” Kim agreed and they laughed.

“What should I do with all these?” she looked around. “I can’t have them in here…”

“Well,” Kim looked around, thinking, “I guess we’ll just do some flower arrangement or something.”

 *****

Zach had the urge to go to Julianne and demand his rights to be by her side. But the other side of him understood how she must be feeling. She must probably still in shock to find out that she was carrying a baby.

His baby.

But questions were bombarding his mind. Why was she afraid to tell him? If Kim didn’t, would she have?

She must be thinking you wouldn’t want the baby, the pessimistic side of him suspected.

Well, she’s wrong, he thought with etch of bitterness as he paced around his room. He would have loved to have a look at her face when she saw the flowers he sent that morning.

His mother didn’t know what happened yet, but he bet the old lady would love the idea of having a grandchild.

As he was thinking of some ways to make Julianne get back to reality and see that he was utterly serious this time, his phone rang. It was Liam.

He cursed, but punched the green button anyway.

“What?” he snapped.

“Congratulations,” his friend said from the other line with amusement. For a brief moment, Zach wondered if Liam already knew about Julianne’s pregnancy, but his friend continued on, “You did the consequence. The look on their faces, man!”

Without another word, he ended the call and threw his phone at his bed. He was not in the mood to talk about Chloe and Pauline or anyone. He had more important matters in hand.

He stormed around his room, thinking about some more special ways to make Julianne feel that she should start trusting him on this one.

 *****

Julianne and Kim were having breakfast, talking about her plans, when suddenly, her doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Kim offered, getting up.

“If it’s Zach, please tell him—”

“To come in and shake you until you wake up, I know,” Kim rolled her eyes before turning away to open the door.

Julianne sat still with apprehension. If it was Zach, she wasn’t ready yet. God, they even barely knew each other outside the show and now they were going to have a baby? What would they talk about during their dates? Diapers and shit? What would they fight about? Whose turn it was to feed their child? That was not something she would have wished for with Zach. Yes, she could be a parent. But, could he? He was too…childish to be a father. Their relationship was not that stable to begin with.

She shook her head. No, she didn’t want her child to feel unwanted.

“What the hell—?” Kim exclaimed from the door.

“What is it?” Julianne asked, standing up.

“You have to see this, Julianne!” her friend called out.

Curious, Julianne slowly walked to the door and her eyes rounded. “What the—”

Three men were entering her doorway, carrying blue things. Blue crib, blue stroller, blue paper bags, blue every baby thing.

Kim was writing on a board and she beamed at Julianne. “Zach sent them.”

“Where are we going to put these?” the first man asked, holding the bags up in front of him.

“Just put them here,” Kim answered when Julianne couldn’t, guiding the men into the living room.

A few moments later, Julianne was surrounded by everything blue. Kim was busily looking at blue baby clothes from the bags when she finally moved and went to her room.

“Where are you going?” her friend asked when she emerged with her bag and keys.

“I’m going to Zach.”

“Why?” her friend asked rather suspiciously.

“This has to stop,” she said and walked out.

 *****

Zach was home, doing some work with Liam who needed his signatures for the project he and Chanty were doing when the maid came in and announced that a Julianne Grey was looking for him.

He immediately jumped off his seat and looked at the shocked Liam. “What is she doing here?”

His friend looked at him for a long time before frowning, “What a stupid question…”

“Go to hell,” he muttered and stormed out of the room, each step a sign of anticipation.

Finally, when he was able to enter the vast sitting room of his parent’s estate, he saw her. She was standing there, facing the window, dressed in…well, Julianne style clothing.

“Jules,” he uttered and slowly, she turned around, her face blank. He forced out a grin, a defense mechanism of the nervousness that he actually felt. “Did you receive the flowers?”

“I received everything,” she nodded.

God, it was nice to hear her voice.

“You should stop this, Zach.”

Now, why wasn’t he shocked to hear that? “No, of course not,” he refused, shaking his head. Now as the moment where he should be taking matters into his own hands, because obviously, Julianne was being irrational and stupid. “Jules, I have a right to do everything I can for you and the baby. Now, if you’re going to continue being hard-headed and irrational, I will have to make this—”

“You should stop it because you’re doing it wrong,” she interrupted.

“No, you’re doing—” he stopped when her statement finally carved itself into his brain. “What do you mean I’m doing it wrong?”

“You should have at least talked to me first before sending those things.”

He huffed with her incredulousness. “Jules, you were the one who didn’t want to talk!”

“Well, you should have learned first that we’re not having a boy!” she exclaimed.

“What?” his frowned deepened. “You’re not pregnant?”

Julianne rolled her eyes. “I am, but we’re not having a boy!”

Chapter 33

“You can’t be certain,” Zach almost snapped at her. Then, his gaze became doubtful when she didn’t answer. “Are you? I mean…” he counted inside his head, “you’re just about two months pregnant. You can’t possibly know for certain that we’re not having a girl.”

“And what made you think we’re having a boy?” she challenged, arching one eyebrow behind her spectacles.

He was speechless. Well, she was right, but he wanted a boy.

“See? This is why we need to settle matters first before you start acting like you know everything,” Julianne pointed out.

Again, Zach was lost. She was the one who had been avoiding him and now she was talking about how important it was for them to settle things down?

“Wait, wait, wait,” he held up one hand and walked closer towards her. Thankfully, she didn’t back away when he held her by the arms. He looked her in the eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “Okay, let’s try to calm down here for one minute.” She just looked at him like she herself was lost. “Do you realize you’re acting all crazy here? But,” he stopped her when she opened her mouth, “I understand that. Hormones are ruling you. You’re not even thinking straight. The last time I checked, you didn’t want to talk. Now, you want to settle matters down. What exactly do you want to happen, Jules? Because I’m as lost as you. You’re not the only person who’s having a hard time here. I’m not having a hard time because I don’t want this baby. I’m having a hard time because you’re being irrational and stupid.”

 *****

Julianne was shocked that Zach actually had the courage to shake her. Well, it kind of worked because she suddenly felt she was her old self. As she looked at his eyes, she was almost certain that he was all that she needed, all that she wanted.

He was actually quite angry and she didn’t expect that from him until now. She was speechless.

 “Well? What do you really want to happen, Jules? Make a decision, but don’t expect me to follow everything because you’ve been silly lately,” he huffed out, his voice frustrated.

Yes, she could see that. She could see that she was making it difficult for him. But she couldn’t control her emotions. She couldn’t even control the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Looking at him now, she remembered everything he’d done for her. Those moments when he stood up for her and that thing he did before he left the show. All of them for her, and now she was paying him back by being stupid.

 *****

Julianne closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were brimming with tears. “I don’t know. I feel different emotions all at the same time. I want to cry one moment and I want to shout the next. I’m not accustomed to these sudden changes.”

Even though she wouldn’t say it out loud, he knew she was asking for help. Julianne is one of the few who really know what they’re doing. She always seemed to know where she stood on matters, and with this pregnancy, with everything suddenly changing around her, she was feeling lost because she couldn’t cope with it as fast she hoped for.

“You don’t know for certain if we’re having a girl, right?” he asked hopefully when she opened her eyes. She looked at him dryly and he smiled, “It could still be a boy, right? You just said that to make your point, right?” Of course he wanted to confirm that one first because he was really hoping for a boy.

Julianne took a deep breath and stepped away from his grasps. “Yes, but still, you have to stop this. You’re making plans ahead of time. What made you buy all those stuff? What if I get miscarriage or—”

“You really have to stop this, Jules,” he took her by the arms once again. “You’re trying to handle this thing alone and you know you’re not alone. I’m here, I love you, what else is there to worry about? We’ll get through this together. I’ll help you through this.”

“But…” she looked at him with a frown, “what if you realize you don’t want her—or him” she added before he could correct her. “What if you realize the two of us can’t work out the way we want to in the end? We haven’t even been on a real date outside the show. We haven’t even done things normal couples should—”

“We don’t have to do things the normal way, Jules. We have this,” he looked down at her still flat abdomen, “and we’ll work with it. And I think the Jules I know before the pregnancy hormones would agree to that. Jules, stop thinking about ‘what should be’.” With one finger, he tipped her chin up so their eyes met. “Do you trust me? I honestly need it right now. I need you to believe that I will not go anywhere, I will not back out. For once, I’m certain with this—with what we have.”

 *****

Julianne believed him. There was no question to that. But the stupid hormones raging inside her were telling her to back off and wait.

Wait for what, moron? Asked that part of her. You need him.

“Can we take it slow?” she finally asked the most sensible solution she could think of. She knew she was being irrational here. Hell, she couldn’t even figure out when she started being irrational. But she could trust Zach to do what was right while she was on the process of controlling her emotions.

“What do you mean slow?”

“Slow…no wedding, please…”

Zach blurted out a laugh. “You’re worried I’m going to ask you to marry me? I am very willing to do that, Jules, but knowing you, I’ve already programmed my mind that wedding will have to wait.”

“You can’t take that away. I still need to know you better—”

“I know what you mean,” he held her closer and kissed her nose lightly. “But for once, let me make the decisions first. You’re not currently capable of making the right choices here. You’re going through a phase. But don’t worry,” he added when she was about to agree, “I won’t make a decision the real you won’t approve of. We’ll talk everything out and we’ll take it slow.”

Julianne wanted to say no because she knew how Zach could get impulsive with decisions. And on the other hand, she also trusted him to do the right thing. So, slowly, she nodded her head and she was certain that time that she just made the best decision so far. Yes, they’d take it slow. One step at a time.

 *****

“No,” Julianne said strongly, shaking her head.

“Why?” Zach asked incredulously. “We’ve been dating for months, Jules, why not now?”

She looked at him pointedly, “Zachary Astor, you told me you won’t rush me into this…” she looked around the bridal room full of gowns.

“I just…” he was looking guilty now as he brushed his fingers through his dark brown hair, “I just wanted you to fit some.”

“With my size?” she arched her brows at him, her hands on her hips. Her bulging stomach was evident now.

“What’s wrong with your size? I find you sexy,” he grinned at her and pulled her towards him. “Come on, just one gown.”

“No, and we’re going to be late.”

“Late for what?”

Julianne eyed him without answering.

“What?” he asked. He totally forgot what he was supposed to remember by the look on her face.

“It’s my doctor’s appointment,” she said icily.

“Ah, of course. I already thought that,” he said and looked around. “Can’t you just—”

“No, Zach, I don’t want to wear a gown with a bulging stomach.”

“You don’t sound like you’re Julianne,” he frowned.

“Well, that’s one thing you must learn about me. Sometimes, I tend to be a little vain. Let’s go,” she turned around without glancing at any of the gowns on display and she was already outside the store when Zach caught up with her.

“I’m telling you, Jules, he’s going to be a he,” he said excitedly.

“And I told you, she’s going to be a she,” she countered playfully.

Since that talk they had in his parents’ house, he was a constant bother in her life. A pleasant bother, that is. The sudden shift of moods lasted for quite some time and she was thankful that he did not back off when she had cried and pushed him away in some occasions. She had asked her doctor about her irrational behaviors and she said that it was only normal for most pregnant women to have those.

There even came a time when she thought of running away when thoughts and fears of Zach leaving her came to mind. Thank God Kim and Diane were always there to shake her back to her senses if Zach wasn’t around.

Diane took her pregnancy with amusement and glee, but it was Kim who was always around aside from Zach who decided to himself to move in her place when she refused to live with him. Her friend had been her constant supporter along with Jack Carter who rushed back to New York as soon as he was done with the show.

And speaking of the show, well, it ended sooner than expected. People were scandalized of course, especially when Zach made it public that he was dating her and they were going to have a baby. It was a good thing most viewers were pleased with the unexpected turn of events and Julianne even received invitations to shows which she refused by the way. There was talk that a Bachelorette season was coming up with Chloe as Bachelorette, but it was just rumor. Nothing solid yet.

Her job as a script writer was doing great and it helped her during those months of hormonal changes. But Jack would have to find a temporary replacement once she was ready to give birth. Funny how the position left by a pregnant woman was taken by another pregnant one, right?

As for Zach’s parents, they really did put up a fuss when they learned about her pregnancy. They wanted a wedding which Zach and Julianne disagreed on due to Julianne’s decision to take things slow. They explained—in one very long dinner—that they wanted to wait and take things slow first. Mr. Astor didn’t put up a big NO, but his wife constantly brought up the idea of wedding bells whenever she got the chance. Zach would sometimes agree with her if he thought Julianne was not listening.

Everything fell into place for Julianne as soon as she was over the mood swings. She was back to her old self and Zach was the first to congratulate her when she finally told him that she loves him.

“I already know that, Jules,” he had stated with a grin.

As soon as she was back on track, they got to enjoy each other’s company, often taking walks to the park or just staying home reading or talking. He had never brought up the marriage until now and though she was glad he still wanted to put a stamp on their relationship, she still wanted to wait longer for one reason: she wanted to walk down the aisle alone without a baby. Selfish, maybe, but for once, she wanted to feel that she was walking towards the man that she loves alone with the idea that he would be hers.

“You’ve never brought up the idea of a wedding before, why now? I thought we should wait after the baby comes out?” she asked as they drove to the hospital.

“We don’t really have an anniversary date to start with. A wedding will give me a date so that I can have a reason to celebrate us every month and every year.”

Julianne had to laugh at that. “That’s your reason?”

“Don’t laugh at me, Jules. I’m damned serious. Unless you want us to settle a date for an anniversary…”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed.

“Let’s see…” he began to think, “why don’t we set it on the day we met? On the plane?”

“I didn’t like you back then…”

“I liked you then.”

“This is a stupid topic, really—”

“Okay, the day we kissed?”

“You can’t possibly remember that—”

“July 23rd, a Tuesday,” he uttered.

Julianne gaped at him, “You remember? Are you serious?”

He shrugged. “I have a good memory.”

She chuckled, shaking her head, “This is silly. We don’t need an anniversary…”

“Mom’s going to freak out when she hears that,” he pointed out.

She sighed. “Let’s just wait until we actually get married.”

“And when is that?” he asked, stealing an anxious glance at her.

“Once our baby girl’s out.”

“Boy.”

“Girl.”

“Boy, Jules. I’m telling you, it’s going to be a boy.”

“I can’t deal with another version of you,” she chided.

“You’ll love us both,” he winked at her.

 *****

Julianne was lying down on the clinic’s bed as her doctor navigated the ultrasound probe over her abdomen.

Zach was holding her hand tightly, looking at the monitor and then back at Dr. Keaton’s face. She wanted to laugh at the look on his face. He didn’t know how to look at the monitor and he was trying to get hints from the doctor’s face.

“Well?” he asked when Dr. Keaton finally smiled and looked at them.

“Well, it seems we finally know the gender of the baby.”

This was it. This was the moment they had been bantering about. The moment that would judge if they should change all the blue things or not, and this was the moment that they would know how to name their child.

Epilogue

The little boy ran around the large lawn in front of the ranch house, his white shirt full of mud, almost covering his body. His dark hair was almost white from the rays of light offered by the sun as he came toward the little girl standing outside the stable. She was wearing her riding clothes, her hand clamped on her pink helmet.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Riding,” she said in a bragging tone, her chin lifted high. “I bet you can’t ride.”

The boy frowned. “I can ride a bicycle.”

“That’s not what I meant!” she shouted. “I meant horses,” she pointed at the row of horses behind her.

The boy scoffed, “You can’t ride those, Anya,” he stepped away from her, afraid she might jump on him because that’s what she always did. But she didn’t. Instead, she sighed and brushed her black hair away from her face.

“Watch me,” she uttered proudly.

“You can’t ride without an adult,” he countered.

“I’m already big!”

“No, you’re not, sweetheart, you’re still my little princess,” said her dad behind her with a smile. He emerged from the stable with his own riding hat.

Anya stomped her foot on the ground. “I am! And I’ll be married soon!” she said so as she whirled around to face Zach.

Zach was almost thrown back by the statement of his little girl. “Married? To whom?”

“Philip!” she shouted.

The little boy almost paled. “No.”

Anya whirled around, her eyes in slits. “What do you mean no?”

“No, I will not marry you!”

“Why?”

“Because…you’re small and I’m big!”

“No, you’re not! You’re six! And I’m six!”

Zach noted the tears in his daughter’s eyes. He almost wanted to laugh, but this situation was serious. She couldn’t very well think that she was going to marry at this age, right? No, she wouldn’t marry. Not while he was still alive. She was his little princess and it would remain that way.

“I don’t care! I won’t marry you!” Jean Philip turned around and ran up back to the house.

“Daddy!” Anya was really crying when she faced him.

“Sweetheart, you can’t force anyone to marry you just because you want to,” he said gently, leaning his hands on his knees to level his eyes with his daughter.

She blinked. “But mommy said you forced her to marry you.”

His smile faded. “She said that?”

“She said she wanted to wait for me to grow up but you said you wanted to get married soon.”

Zach chuckled. “She wanted to marry me too.”

Confusion was on Anya’s face now.

“She said yes when I almost cried begging her to,” he joked.

“But I cried and Philip still doesn’t want to marry me.”

Zach sighed. If he was facing a boy, he would have told him to never give up. But this was different. Anya is a girl and he couldn’t just tell her to continue with her fantasies. Really, having a girl was not all bad, but there were just moments like this that Zach wished he had a boy. “Come here,” he pulled his daughter into his arms. “Why don’t we cancel riding for today? Our friends are waiting inside having breakfast.”

She thought for a while. “Okay.”

 *****

Julianne could sense something happened when Zach came inside with Anya.

“I thought you’re going riding?” she asked when her daughter ran up to her and hugged her, burying her face against her abdomen.

Zach cringed, walked up to her and whispered, “She told Philip she’s going to marry him.”

Julianne chuckled and looked down at her daughter. “Oh, my little girl…why don’t you go upstairs and change? I guess riding got cancelled?” she looked at her husband.

He nodded, his frown still on his face.

“Go on, Anya, change and come back,” Julianne told her daughter. Anya looked around, her eyes darting from one guest to another.

Since they have been married, Zach had helped Liam and his father with the business. And because of that, the Strindbergs became family. Even though Zach still avoided the hectic business, he just couldn’t leave everything to Liam and live in his ranch. Because of his connection to the Strindbergs, Julianne was forced to engage in social events. And lo and behold, she found friends who, deep in Zach’s gut, are as dangerous as his wife.

Take Cassandra Strindberg for example. She’s too much like Julianne in a lot of ways. Both of them are very carefree, and both of them are very stubborn. Angelica Bell, Cassandra’s friend who is very close to the Strindbergs and now to his wife, was another matter entirely. She is just as hard-headed, but she got this overwhelming aggressiveness as well.

They have invited their friends to spend the weekend with them in the ranch along with Chanty, Philip Strindberg’s sister and Liam’s partner. Six years ago, Chanty and Liam had been caught in a very rough situation, but that would be their story to tell.

Cassandra and Philip, little Philip’s parents, were having breakfast when Anya came in.

Angelica and her husband, Henry Bell, who had once been an NSA undercover agent, were looking at them curiously now.

“I want to see aunt Kim right now,” Anya whispered.

“Aunt Kim’s not here. She’s on a vacation with uncle Jack,” Julianne answered her.

“Aunt Diane?”

“She’s busy with Mommy’s book,” Zach answered.

Julianne gently pushed their daughter, “Go change and come back down. Don’t fight with Philip again.”

With chin high in the air, Anya finally stepped back and ran up the stairs.

With her daughter gone, Julianne finally broke into a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Zach demanded.

“She wanted to marry Philip!” she cried out. “Really, honey, our daughter is becoming more like you.”

Cass frowned from the table, “What do you mean she wanted to marry Philip? Jean Philip or my husband Philip?”

“I guess she meant our son, babe,” Philip said almost dryly. “He walked in earlier looking like he was about to die. He’s upstairs and he won’t come out of the room.”

Angelica laughed, flipping her red hair away from her face. “I can give her lessons on how to properly woo men, Zach.”

Zach was looking tortured. He knew how Angelica chased Philip Strindberg around a long time ago before she met her husband. And he had spent years in the same university as the woman to prove that as well.

Henry chuckled, “Don’t take my wife’s words seriously, man.”

“No one’s going to marry my daughter,” Zach said seriously.

“Who’s marrying who?” Liam asked as he entered the room, munching on an apple.

“Anya and Philip,” Angelica answered, standing up. Henry stood up just as instantly, holding her by the arm. She snapped her head at him, “Really, honey, you’re acting crazy. I can take care of myself.”

“You’re pregnant,” Henry pointed out.

“I’m a doctor, remember?” she arched her eyebrow. “I’m going to find Anya and make some small talk.”

“What are you going to tell her?” Henry and Zach asked at the same time.

“Relax. I’m going to tell her marriage can wait,” she winked at Julianne and walked off.

“I’m coming with you,” Julianne said, walking past her husband.

“Me too,” Cass nodded her blond head and followed, leaving her husband alone.

“Count me in!” Chanty cried out as she entered the room with her son Willie, now ten, behind her. As she passed Liam, she gave him a sweet smile and said, “Willie’s having a problem with the bike.” And then, all four women disappeared up the stairs.

Zach gave out a heavy sigh.

Philip chuckled. “Man, you’re worn out.”

“If your daughter tells you she wants to get married, what would you feel? Oh, wait a minute, your son’s the one she wants to marry,” he said sarcastically.

“If she’s serious, will you consider handling the business alone rather than leaving it all for Liam to handle? After all, it will be our children’s future,” Philip chided, talking about the merged business of the Astor and Strindberg family.

“My daughter’s not marrying anyone.”

“Don’t take that seriously. They’re just children,” Henry uttered when he noted Zach’s irritated look.

“Anya really wants to marry Philip,” Willie spoke up.

Zach, Henry, Philip, and Liam turned to him.

“What? She’s been talking about it since she was like three.”

“No, not going to happen,” Zach shook his head.

“Okay, come on, big guy. Where’s that bike?” Liam asked, throwing his apple on the table.

“Outside,” Willie answered and the two of them went out.

 *****

“You can’t take her seriously, really, Zach, you’re over reacting,” Julianne told him later that night.

“She’s only six!” he couldn’t help but say.

“She’s six and she has a lot of things she wants to do. It doesn’t mean she’s going to do them now.”

“So you’re okay with her marrying?”

“When she’s old enough, yes.”

“Jules, she’s six.”

“She’s not going to marry now,” she pointed out.

“She’s not going to marry ever.”

Julianne laughed and pulled her husband closer. They were lying in bed talking. “She’s going to do whatever she likes when she’s older. You’re not going to stop her. She’s as hard-headed as you.”

He was silent for a long time. Maybe he was taking this too seriously. “You’re right,” he finally said with a sigh.

Julianne smiled and gave him a kiss. “I enjoyed today.”

He smiled. “I don’t really know if your new friendship with Ange, Cass, and Chanty is going to be good for us, your husbands. You’re one hell of a bunch of ladies.”

“We’re awesome, aren’t we?” she chided.

“You’re awesomer,” he uttered.

“That’s not even a word,” she frowned.

He shrugged. “I coined it.”

His wife laughed and gave him another kiss. “I love you, Zach.”

He smiled. “I know, Jules. I love you too.”

 *****

When Zach crept out of the room later that night, he left Julianne deep in sleep. A lot has happened since that day they found out they were having a girl. He was not disappointed at all because deep in his thoughts, he was hoping for a girl as well.

He opened his daughter’s room and found her blanket on the floor. He smiled, walked in, and picked it up. Gently, he spread it over her small body and bent down to plant a kiss on her forehead. She stirred but didn’t wake up. She was smiling in her sleep and he wondered what she was dreaming about.

I’m hoping it’s not a six year old wedding, he thought.

Sure that everything was good and that his daughter was safely tucked in, he made his way back to the master’s bedroom.

 They had waited until Anya was born and he made sure that Julianne was back to normal and he persuaded her to marry him in a simple ranch wedding. In the six years of Anya’s existence, she was showered not only with her parent’s love, but by her grand parents’ as well.

But of course, Jules was always there to make sure that it didn’t go into her head. Zach was glad for that because he was ready to give almost everything for his daughter. Jules was the one who told him what was enough and what was not, otherwise, they would have a spoiled rich girl for a daughter.

His wife tried to find her father, but she failed. From time to time, Zach thought of how it might feel for her to have that missing part in her life. That’s why he always made it a point that Julianne don’t doubt his loyalty and commitment.

He climbed back to bed and pulled his wife into his arms. She snuggled against his chest in a sleepy daze until finally she was back to her deep slumber.

There was nothing better than having a great family like the one he has. He would never go back to his old life, not for the world.

He had everything he needed that he never thought he could have.

Impressum

Texte: David Dower
Lektorat: David Dower
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.02.2016

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