Title Dedication

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reality Lies

 

d.f.downey

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pops…

 

finally free

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Written Spring 2002, published Summer 2011

Copyright 2011 - All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author 

 

 

 

 

 

Visions

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

“Mommy, hurry up. I want to go to school!” The young boy pleaded as he walked, his face flushed with excitement.

 

“Be patient honey, don’t get too far ahead. We’ll be there soon.” his mother beamed.

 

He ran off anyway. He was a big boy now and this was his first day of big boys’ school. He couldn’t wait. Still, Johanna was anxious but not for the traditional reasons. Jay was “different”. Not special or gifted or any of those other semantics, just different. She had never been able to articulate what these differences were but they existed at the periphery of her reality. But what would happen now when Jay finally met world.

 

“Mommy, keep up! I see the school! C’mon mommy! C’mon!”

“Okay Jay, I’m right behind you.”

 

The other women from the neighborhood had gone together. When Jay was first born Johanna had been one of them. “Sharing the journey together.” as Laura had put it. But she had drifted from them as Jay’s difference had manifested itself. Little things, a child’s toy come to life, large things, a face changed to abstraction. At first, these events had been temporary but as time went on their duration grew. The one element they had in common was Jay and his perception of the change as it occurred. She had realized this early on and accordingly, withdrew him from interaction with other children. She had used a variety of excuses. He’s sick, he’s allergic to dogs, we’re going somewhere. Until, one by one, the invites stopped coming.

 

But school was here and try as she might she could not dissuade him from his desire to go.

 

“Mommy, why does that lady have the funny thing on her face?”

 

The woman did have something strange on her face. Much to her relief it appeared to be something appropriate.

 

“Mommy, can I play with the other boys?” He pleaded as he tugged on her hand.

 

She reflected for a moment then relaxed her hold, “Sure honey. Play nice.”

 

“Okay!” he sang as he ran off to join a bunch of kids from the neighborhood. He recognized them from watching from his bedroom window.

 

“Johanna! Long time no see.” It was Debbie Rubin, who lived across the street.

 

“Jay is feeling well enough to go to school, huh?”

 

“Um, yeah.” She had been so preoccupied with worry that she had forgotten about the inevitable curiosity of the neighbors.

 

“That’s good. He’ll finally have a chance to get to know my Michael. Maybe we could have a play date after school.”

 

Johanna glanced after Jay and saw that he seemed to be getting along with the other boys. “Oh sure, that would be nice.”

 

A couple of the other woman had joined them. “Johanna, how are you? You look great!” gushed the taller of the two, Jackie D’Angelo. “You look like you’ve lost weight. Jay must be keeping you busy.”

 

“Yes, he’s a handful.” She was beginning to relax. ‘See, nothing is happening. He’s doing just fine.’ she thought. She was enjoying the company of other women. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed it. She had grown so isolated, so depressed, so desperate. This was wonderful.

 

Just then, they were interrupted. Robbie came running, crying his eyes out. “Mommy! ...Mommy!” Jackie took him by the shoulders. “Jay!” he was inconsolable.

 

“Jay? Jay what?”

 

Johanna grew tense. ‘I should have known this wouldn’t work.’ she thought.

 

“He took my pencil and he won’t give it back.” Robbie said

 

“Are you sure that’s what happened?”

 

“Well I was showing him my pencil and I gave it to him and he put it in his pocket.” he sobbed intermittently as he spoke.

 

“Jay, come over here!” ordered Johanna. Jay came bounding over. “Did you take Robert’s pencil?”

 

“No.” She looked at him sternly. “He gave it to me.”

 

“Did he tell you he wanted it back?”

 

“Yes, but he gave it to me! A present is a present!”

 

“Jay, give Robert back his pencil right now!”

 

Jay dutifully did as he was told.

 

“Now tell him you’re sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry Robert.” They shook hands.

 

“Now go back and get on line, the school bell is about to ring.”

 

The two boys ran off with nary a backwards glance.

 

A nervous moment passed before anyone felt comfortable enough to speak. “Boys!” Jackie expelled the words. “Always getting into it. You don’t get that with girls.”

 

“I know what you mean.” agreed Debbie, “My daughter and her friends can play for hours with me hardly noticing them.”

 

Johanna nodded, happy that the moment had passed. She took the risk. “I’ve heard that changes a bit when they become teenagers. The girls become a lot more troublesome.” There was a pause, momentarily she wished she had remained a simpleton, bobbing her head.

 

Thankfully, Debbie agreed, “I’ve heard that too. Still, one thing at a time, for now little girls seem to be the better bargain.”

 

“Agreed.” They joined in a group chuckle.

 

“Johanna, me and Debbie are going to get a cup of coffee at Friendly’s. Want to join us?” Jackie asked.

 

“Um, sure. 0h wait, I have to get back to the house and …”

 

They looked at her.

 

She realized to her embarrassment, “No I don’t. It’s gonna take some getting used to not having Jay around during the day.”

 

“Don’t worry, you get used to it.” Jackie assured.

 

She smiled. She had forgotten how much she missed adult company.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

“Okay class, we’re going to do something fun!” Ms. Nolan reached into one of the tubs under the activity table. She pulled out several colorful pails as well as a variety of molds and plastic knives. “We’re going to use our imagination and see what we can come up with. Think of your favorite thing in the whole world. Do you have a picture of it in your imagination?” The children nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, I’m going to put out these buckets of modeling clay and you’re gonna try and create what you see in your mind.”

 

“What if we can’t see anything?” Sally blurted out.

 

“Sally, before you can ask a question, you have to raise your hand.”

 

Sally sat down and raised her hand. Ms. Nolan called on her. “Yes, Sally?”

 

“What if we can’t see anything?”

 

“Well Sally think about the world around you. Do you have a favorite flower or a favorite animal?”

 

“I like cats!” Sally answered hopefully.

“Think about cats. Now do you have one pictured in your mind?”

 

Sally sat for a moment with her eyes clamped tight shut. Then she suddenly shouted, “Yes I can Ms. Nolan!”

 

“Okay Sally, calm down, very good!” she smiled as she said it. She loved this enthusiasm. This is why she taught kindergarten. “Now all you have to do is shape the clay to match what you see.”

 

Sally dove into the bucket taking bits of every color and went right to work.

 

Jay was hard at it as well. His tongue was sticking out between his teeth. He always did this when he was concentrating on something.

 

“I’m going to make a butterfly.” Jay announced to Ms. Nolan as she made the rounds of all the children.

 

“That’s nice Jay, I’m sure you’ll make a lovely butterfly.”

 

“Yes and it’s going to fly!”

 

She smiled as she thought of a gentle way to inform him that this wasn’t going to happen. “Jay, this is an imaginary butterfly. It will fly only in your imagination.”

 

“No, it’s really going to fly!” He insisted

 

“Okay Jay, if you think it will fly, it will fly.” She touched him on the shoulder then moved on.

 

Jay used every color available as the butterfly took form. Sally came over to look. “What’s that?” She asked.

 

“It’s a butterfly!” Jay proudly announced.

 

“It doesn’t look like a butterfly. It’s too fat.” Sally decided.

 

“It’s a fat butterfly!” Jay declared happily.

 

Sally started pounding on it. “I’ll make it skinny.”

 

“No, leave it alone! You’ll hurt it.”

 

Ms. Nolan came over to mediate. “Sally, why don’t you go back to your own seat and finish up.”

 

“I’m finished.”

 

“Well then, let’s look at what you did.”

 

Jay was glad she was gone. Now he could finish his butterfly. It would be the best butterfly anyone ever made.

 

They had been at it for about an hour when Ms. Nolan announced it was time to tidy up. “OK class, let’s look at what we’ve done. Who wants to go first?”

 

A dozen tiny hands rose in waving excitement.

 

“Sally, why don’t you go first.” Sally jumped up and practically ran to the front of the class.

 

“So what did you make Sally?”

 

Sally wrapped her hands across her back as she fidgeted back and forth, then gushed. “My cat, Jericho.”

 

Sally had long light brown curly hair, lively blue eyes and a face afield with freckles. She had cute rounded baby teeth and an infectious smile. A white velvet headband kept her hair from her face. A blue and red plaid jumper with a white collar wrapped this delightful, joyful package.

 

“Hold Jericho up for the class to see.” Ms. Nolan instructed. Jericho was basically two big lumps of multicolored clay. The ears were plopped to one side of the head and the eyes, akimbo, had been gouged into the head.

 

Some of the class laughed. “That’s not a cat!” yelled Brian. Jay said nothing. He’d been looking down when Sally had presented her “cat”. He pictured a cat in his mind’s eye and when he looked up that is what he saw.

 

“R-r-r-owhhh!” the sound startled Ms. Nolan. She looked over just in time to see the cat, a real cat jump from Sally’s hands.

 

“What in the world!” Was all she could get out before chaos broke out as the cat darted around the classroom. “How did that cat get in here?”

Some of the children were running up and down the aisles trying to catch the cat. The others were terrified. “Children please sit down. I’ll take care of the cat.” Ms. Nolan ordered.

 

She soon isolated the cat in the coat closet. “Class, I’m going to get Mr. Scarpa to take care of the cat. Please stay seated.” She went out in the hall and got the attention of the principal’s secretary. Mr. Scarpa arrived shortly and boxed the cat. It was only then she noticed that Sally was still in front of the room. “Sally you may sit down. Don’t forget to take your…” She realized that Sally didn’t have her sculpture any longer. “What happened to your creation Sally, your. . .”

 

“Cat?” Sally filled in.

 

“Yes, your cat.” She agreed with confused hesitation.

 

“Mr. Scarpa took it.”

 

“Now Sally, that’s a real cat. Yours is pretend.”

 

“No, it’s real!” Sally said.

 

Ms. Nolan was wondering, if only for a moment, if that was possible then quickly dismissed such an absurd notion.

 

“Sally return to your seat. We’ll sort this out later.” Determined to regain control, she again asked for volunteers. If anything the children were even more eager.

 

“Pick me! Pick me!” They all squirmed in their seats save Jay who shyly raised his hand.

 

“Brian, come on up.” She quickly added, “But don’t run.” slowing him in his tracks.

 

Brian beamed as he began. He had always wanted a dog. ‘Maybe if I say this is a dog, it will be one.’ he thought.

 

“What do we have here?” Ms. Nolan asked.

 

“A dog!” He announced proudly then stepped back and waited for the transformation. Of course, nothing happened.

 

Brian returned to his seat, dejected. She called the remainder of the class one by one without event until, finally, only Jay was left. “Jay, could you come up here.”

 

Jay rose quietly from his seat and took his creation in its shoebox up with him. “Jay, what do you have for us?” she gently asked him.

 

“He thinks it’s a butterfly but it’s too fat.” Sally, now fully recovered, shouted.

 

“Sally, that’s very rude. Class, we mustn’t make fun of each other’s work. How would any of you feel if someone made fun of something you made?” A dozen contrite faces hung on her every word.

 

“I’m sorry Ms. Nolan. I’m sorry Jay.” Sally offered unbidden.

Ms. Nolan smiled and said, “Okay Jay, hold up your butterfly.”

 

“I can’t Ms Nolan.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It flew away.”

 

She composed herself then said, “Jay it isn’t real. It can’t fly. Now, don’t you want to show us your butterfly?”

 

He wandered from the front of the room to a plant sitting in the back corner near the window. Ms. Nolan’s fiancée had sent it to congratulate her on her first day as a teacher. “Jay, where are you going?”

 

“To show you the butterfly.” he said over his right shoulder as he continued walking.

 

‘This is getting too strange. I have to stay in charge.’ she thought as she followed him to the corner. All the children rose behind her and followed. “Jay dear, please return to your …”

 

She stopped before finishing the sentence, her mouth hung open. She grabbed the side of her head with her left hand.

 

“See, here it is. Here’s my butterfly.”

 

And there it was. It was eight inches across and as Sally had said, too fat to be a butterfly. But there it sat fluttering its wings and feeding on the flower.

Before she could stop him Jay opened the window.

 

“Butterflies belong outside!” he said joyfully. As they watched, it rose up and sailed out the window. Ms. Nolan stood transfixed, then mumbled, “No one’s ever going to believe this!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

 

“Mommy, we learned how to count and we colored and we made things and. . .”

 

Johanna smiled. She had never seen him this excited. ‘I guess I worried needlessly.’ she thought.

 

“Slow down honey, tell Mama everything!” They sat in the kitchen at the table where Jay had watched the world the last few years. “What did you do first?”

 

“Ms. Nolan, that’s my teacher, gave everyone their very own seat. Then she had everyone tell everyone their name. I told her my name is Jay!”

 

“That’s right honey.”

 

“One little boy started to cry when he had to say his name but I was a big boy, I didn’t cry.”

 

“I’m so proud of you honey.”

 

He was wound up now, “Then she gave us a pencil and paper and started drawing letters on the wall.”

 

“The blackboard, dear.” she gently corrected.

“Drawing letters on the blackboard and we had to copy them. Then we took a nap on the floor and we had a snack and then…”

 

“Sounds like you had a busy first day. Did you make any friends?”

 

“Me and this boy Brian were talking but the teacher told us to go to our seats. Then there was this girl Sally and she made fun of me.”

 

“Honey, I’m sure that was only her way of trying to make friends.” She saw that he was starting to droop. “That sure sounds like a busy day, you must be starving. Would you like some macaroni and cheese?”

 

“Yes please!” He was smiling ear-to-ear. Sending him to school hadn’t been a mistake after all.

 

***

 

Jay had fallen asleep on the sofa. Johanna had just covered him when the phone rang. “Hello?” she intoned.

 

“Hello, Johanna” came the reply.

 

“Yes. . .”

 

“This is Jackie, Jackie D’Angelo.”

 

“Oh hi Jackie, what can I do for you?”

 

“I was wondering if you’d like to get the boys together for a play date.”

 

Johanna surprised herself, “Okay, that would be nice. When would be good for you?”

 

“Not today, Robbie is worn out from school, so am I for that matter! I was thinking when they settle in like maybe Wednesday, two-ish?”

 

“Let me check.” She gave a quick look at her calendar on the refrigerator door. “Works for me.”

 

“Okay, Wednesday it is then. We can meet over at my place.”

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know where that is.”

 

“How silly of me, 45 Ribb Lane, I’m near the IHOP. Are you familiar with it?”

 

“I think so. It’s a couple of blocks from the school, right?” Johanna offered.

 

“Right, see you Wednesday then.”

 

“See you!”

 

‘That’s nice, Jay will enjoy that.’ she thought.

 

Jackie wasn’t finished, “Did you hear what happened in class this morning?”

 

Johanna tensed, “Jay told me about the naps and the snacks and learning his ABCs.”

“He didn’t tell you about the cat that was loose in the classroom”

 

“No.” she relaxed.

 

“I’m surprised. It was all Robbie could talk about until he conked out. He didn’t make much sense though.”

 

“How’s that?”

 

“He said this girl Sally made it, the cat that is.”

 

“You know how kids are.” Johanna offered hopefully.

 

“Well, any way, Robbie said they chased the cat all around the classroom until the janitor came. Funny your Jay didn’t bring it up.”

 

“Well to be fair. I cut him off in the middle of his stories to eat lunch. He fell asleep right after.” Johanna thought that should cover it.

 

“Anyway, I’ve got to run. I have to get to the store. This new schedule will take a little getting used to. See you Wednesday.” Jackie sang.

 

“Yes, see you Wednesday.”

 

She jotted down the play date on a post-it, placed it on the refrigerator and put the conversation out of her mind. She checked in on Jay who was starting to wake up. “Hey honey, have a good nap?”

 

“Yes mommy. I was dreaming.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

 

“School!” He exclaimed.

 

“Mommy got a call from Mrs. D’Angelo. You have a play date Wednesday at her house. Do you like that?”

 

He waited a second then answered, “Uh-huh, aw… can I watch television now?”

 

“Sure I have to do some laundry anyway.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

“Hurry up Jay. We’re supposed to be there by two.” She finished putting his stuff in the car. Jay ran out as she was closing the trunk.

 

“My stomach feels funny. I’ve never been on a play date before.”

 

“You know Robbie right?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“So your stomach doesn’t hurt because of that, does it?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

 

She bent down and gave him a hug. “You’ll be fine.”

 

He jumped into his car seat and waited to be belted in.

 

It was a short drive to the D’Angelo’s house. They were there in no time. The house had been extensively remodeled recently, biggie-sized and glammed up. Jay clung behind her as they approached the front door. Before they reached it Robbie threw the door open. “Hi Jay! Wanna see my toys?” Jay nodded. “C’mon!” He jumped around his mother and the two of them disappeared down the hallway as Jackie came to the door.

 

“Hi Johanna! I guess we don’t have to worry about them gawking around. Come in! Let me show you the house. Give me your coat. I got the coffee on. The boys will be fine in the sunroom.”

 

Robbie and Jay were indeed fine in the sunroom. Robbie had an extensive collection of action figures and wheeled vehicles.

 

“Want to play trucks?” Robbie asked.

 

“Okay.” Jay answered.

 

“The fire truck is mine. You can have the blue truck.”

 

They both started rolling the small toys around. “Beep, beep. V-room, V-room” were the only sounds they made as they drew further and further into the world where the cars were real, but they weren’t. The boys took turns crashing them and driving them over make-believe cliffs.

 

Johanna and Jackie settled into the kitchen and got right into trading banalities.

 

“So, how’s Gary doing? It must be difficult being a single parent.” Jackie offered.

 

Johanna sidestepped the topic with a simple, “Yes” then changed the subject. “You have a lovely home.”

 

“Thank you! We just went through a remodel. What a nightmare!”

 

And on they went. Back in the sunroom the boys had moved past playing with trucks and each were doing their own thing. Robbie finally realized that Jay was no longer paying attention to him. Robbie wandered off as Jay continued to search for something new to play with.

 

Robbie went to his room. He started rifling through the piles of toys and clothes that lay scattered across the floor. Last year for Halloween he had been a dog. His dad had found a sheep dog mask that looked exceptionally real. He started fiddling with it and then put it on. He looked in the mirror and started barking. He got down on all fours and crawled into the sunroom barking as he went. He decided to sneak up on Jay.

 

He crouched down behind the couch and as Jay rolled past him with a pickup truck he jumped out. “Woof!!” he barked at first sounding childlike but growing to reality.

 

“Nice Doggy!” Jay shouted with delight as he attempted to pet the dog. The “dog” began barking wildly. Jay continued to laugh as he rolled on the floor.

 

Johanna and Jackie were enjoying their coffee when Jackie announced, “They’re too quiet. We’d better go check on them.”

 

The house was huge and the sunroom was on the other end. Jackie offered an impromptu tour of the connecting space. “This is lovely!” Johanna gushed as the sunroom came into view.

 

Jackie was distracted by an unexpected visitor. “Where did that dog come from?” Jackie glanced around the room, “And where is Robbie?”

 

“I don’t know.” was Jay’s truthful reply.

 

The dog continued to bark and Jackie again asked, “We don’t have a dog! How did he get in here?”

 

The dog had temporarily distracted her but now panic seized her. She ran around the room calling for Robbie then ran down the hall to Robbie’s room. She saw that it was in greater disarray than usual. As she ran she continued to call for him to no avail. She reentered the sunroom followed closely by the barking sheep dog. When she stopped the dog jumped up on her. “Down! Get down! Where the heck did you come from!” The dog just kept barking and jumping. Johanna heard the commotion and quickly corralled the dog on the back porch.

 

“Jay, be a good boy and stay here. I have to help Mrs. D’ Angelo.”

 

By this time Jackie was in a panic, running up and down the stairs and room to room calling for Robbie. Every time she called his name the dog cried the more.

 

“Where is he Johanna? I’ve looked everywhere. He’s not here.”

 

“Did you check outside?”

 

“He couldn’t have gotten outside. The doors are locked. The alarm is keyed.”

 

“I’ll check anyway just in case.” Johanna stopped just before opening the door. “Oh wait, could you turn off the alarm.”

 

Jackie keyed in her code and deactivated the alarm. Johanna ran outside as Jackie continued to search the house.

 

After five minutes, Johanna returned inside. “I’m going to call 9-1-1. There’s not a sign of Robbie anywhere. Do you want me to call your husband?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” Jackie whispered absently. “Robbie, where are you?” she pleaded.

 

***

 

The police had come quickly. Jackie’s husband, Joey, had arrived shortly afterward. In no time the house was overrun with people. Johanna gave the police her statement and asked if it was okay to leave. They nodded yes. Jackie walked over to her, clasped her two hands and thanked her. She paused then asked, “Could you do me one more favor?”

“Sure, anything, what do you need?”

 

“Could you tend to that dog?”

 

She had almost forgotten the dog. “Sure, you wouldn’t happen to have a collar around here?”

 

“I think we still have one from Rascal. If we do, it’s hanging on the hook on the stairs to the cellar. Let me get it.”

 

“Yeah, it’s still here.” she said as she handed her the leash and collar. “Thanks again.” She started to sob.

 

Johanna consoled her with a hug and gently reassured her. “They’ll find Robbie.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5

 

Days had passed since Robbie’s disappearance and there had been no progress, no clues. He had literally vanished without a trace. He was playing with Jay one moment then was nowhere to be found.

 

Johanna had been over to the house several times. She couldn’t explain it but somehow she felt responsible. Jackie had asked her to help her go through old photographs to find one that captured Robbie as he looked now. She realized she had a picture, still in the camera of Robbie and Jay on their first day of school. She ran out to one of those one-hour photo places at the drugstore nearby. She generally, didn’t wait but this was different. “How long does this take?” she asked the clerk as she handed him the film.

 

“Not long.” the clerk offered.

 

She stood near the counter for a while then as it became apparent this would take some time she began wandering away in ever increasing arcs. She returned to the counter every few minutes and asked, “Are they ready yet?”

 

Each time the clerk appeared he gave her the same polite answer, “In a couple of minutes.”

 

“Thank you.” she replied anxiously on each occasion.

 

She had distracted herself with the cold remedies when the clerk called out, “Your photos are ready ma’am.”

 

“Thank you!” she said as she exchanged money for the photos. She tore open the envelope and was halfway through the photos before the clerk had finished running up the sale. ‘That’s a nice one.’ she thought. It was a picture of Jay and the other boys looking eager and anxious. “I know there was one of just Robbie and Jay.” she muttered, “There it is!” she exclaimed. “This is it! Could you blow this up to an 8 by 10?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, “Could you crop it so only the dark haired boy is in the picture?” then added, “Quickly?”

 

“The machine’s right in front of you, it’s a do-it-yourself deal.”

 

“Oh, could you help me?” she asked with a trace of the helpless female. “This is a special picture. I really want to get this right.”

 

Begrudgingly, he came out from behind the counter and went right at it. He made short work of it. “Is this what you want?”

 

“Exactly! Thank you very much! Could I make a few copies?”

 

“Of course.” he replied but he meant photos.

 

Johanna could tell, “No, I mean on a copier... do you have a copy machine?”

 

“Courtesy desk, it’s up front.” he offered.

 

“Thank you.” she said over her shoulder as she ran up front.

 

***

 

Mission accomplished she drove straight to Jackie’s and entered without knocking. “I had a picture of Robbie in my camera and well, I think it’s perfect. I had it blown up.”

 

Jackie took the pictures. Her eyes lingered for a moment. “This is perfect. Thank you. The police are here, Joe’s with them in the living room. I’ll get it to them for the flyers.” She rushed down the hall. Johanna followed.

 

“Yeah, this will do nicely. I’m going to head back and get some run off. Could you give me the negative?” Detective Plant, the town’s sole investigator, said after a quick glance.

 

“My friend Johanna took the picture, Johanna could you give Detective…” she drew a blank.

 

“Plant.” He completed.

 

“Detective Plant the negative?”

 

“Of course.” Johanna answered.

 

In exchange he handed her his card. They momentarily made eye contact. “I’ll be sure to get this back to you.” Then he abruptly took to leave. “Thank you ma’am, Mr. and Mrs. D’Angelo, I’ll be in touch”

 

“Thank you Detective, be sure to give me some of the flyers when they’re completed.” Jackie requested.

 

“I’ll be sure to do that”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Johanna had begun to focus on the collection of photos on the table, Robbie at Christmas, Robbie’s birthday, picnics, vacations, all the events in a child’s life, the candid alone moments, always surrounded by lots of people, family and friends, so happy, always smiling. It struck her that Jay didn’t have moments like that. There were few pictures and those there were, were of Jay alone. ‘Poor kid!’ her thoughts went to Jay. ‘Nothing could be done. No, that’s not right. I made a choice, a choice for Jay. It was for his own good. . . no, it was for my own good.’ She absently fingered the photographs. She glanced down on a picture of… the dog? The one running around when Robbie disappeared. But wait, this is a Halloween picture … of Robbie? The dull dread hit her as Jackie reentered the room.

 

“What are you looking at?” Jackie asked

 

“Oh, a… pictures from Halloween.”

 

Jackie took it in her hand. “This was last year. Isn’t he cute? He practically slept in that mask.” She held tight to the photo, lost in the memory. “He crawled around the house walking on all fours. Just the other day I had to tell him to stop. He had on his school pants and you know how quickly they go through the knees.” She paused lost in the moment, then suddenly added, “I just had a strange feeling. It just occurred to me that I didn’t see the mask when I went through his things.”

 

“The police searched his room right?”

 

“Yes, they went through it. But I don’t see any reason why they would remove the mask. It must still be there.”

 

She went to Robbie’s room. “Do you need a hand?” Johanna asked from the doorway.

 

“No, that’s all right. I know where it should be.” The search started slowly but accelerated to an obsessive pace. Jackie began tossing things around, slamming the cover on the toy chest. Eventually, she broke down again. “I can’t take this! It makes no sense. We were here. The house was locked. The alarm was on. There’s no way he could have just disappeared...” Her voice trailed off. “No way!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6

 

As she pulled out of Jackie’s driveway Johanna had a notion, a notion born of countless no ways. She knew what she had to do. As soon as she entered the house she located the blown-up picture of Robbie. She called from the stairway, “Jay, come here honey.”

 

“Okay mom.” He scooted down the hall with the dog in tow. For some reason she had decided to keep the dog. In short order, he and Jay had become quite attached.

 

“Where’s Mrs. Mulligan?” Johanna had asked her elderly neighbor to watch Jay.

 

“She fell asleep.”

 

Johanna found her asleep on the couch in the living room with the TV blasting. Her head was back and her mouth wide-open. “Mrs. Mulligan.” She gently tapped her hand and she stirred to life. “I’m back, thank you very much.”

 

Mrs. Mulligan startled then recovered, “Uh, you’re welcome. Jay was no problem.”

 

Johanna helped her to her feet.

 

“I can stay if you need me to.”

 

“No, that’s all right.” Johanna was anxious to get her out of the house.

 

“Okay I have to do my laundry anyway, but remember anytime you need me, be sure to call.”

 

“Okay, I will.” Johanna said as she gently eased her out the door.

 

As she entered the living room the dog began sniffing her and then started whining. “What do you smell boy? Someone you know?”

 

“Aarf!” The dog was really excited.

 

She took a shot, “Your mother?” The dog became uncontrollable.

 

She sent Jay to his room to fetch his dirty clothes. “Robbie?” she asked, not quite believing she was actually doing this. The dog stopped barking then started whimpering. “I don’t know if you can totally understand me but I’m going to try and change you back.” She stopped as Jay entered the room. “Thank you honey, mommy’s going to go downstairs to do the wash. Would you mind if the dog kept me company?”

 

“Can I come too?”

 

“No dear. I need you to tidy up your room.” Jay did as he was told.

 

“Now Robbie, you and I need to get to work. I’m going to dress you up in Jay’s clothes, be still.”

 

His tail starts wagging. “You’re going to have to stay still.”

 

It took awhile but she succeeded in making his torso look reasonably boy-like, by stuffing the arms and legs of the shirt and pants then completing it with the addition of shoes and gloves.

 

“Now for the face.” She had turned the eight by ten photo into a mask. A hooded sweatshirt gave it a greater semblance to reality.

 

“The most important thing is for Jay to think you’re Robbie. That means no barking, no panting. Don’t make a sound. And please don’t move. I’ll send Jay upstairs for a bath. Then I’ll put you in front of the TV, you poor thing.” He seemed to smile. You could see his tail move beneath the clothes.

 

As she closed the door to the basement stairs Jay was waiting. “Where is Rocket?” he asked.

 

“I didn’t know you named the dog. That’s a nice name.” Jay smiled

 

“Rocket fell asleep on a blanket. I think he’s very tired. He’s had a long week. It’s hard when you lose your family.”

 

“We’re his family now, right Mom?”

 

“Well honey, we have to find his real family or at least try. Right?” she said sadly.

 

“I guess so. But if we don’t, we’re keeping him right?”

 

Resignedly she said, “Yes we will. Now you need to take a bath. Get upstairs young man.”

 

Johanna drew his bath and coached him inside. She made it a quick one. “No toys tonight Jay. Mommy got things to do.” She stayed with him until she could get him out and dried. Johanna was able to sneak downstairs once Jay was ensconced on his favorite chair in his terrycloth bathrobe. The Thomas the Tank Engine video was playing on the TV. All was right with his world.

 

She carried Robbie up from the basement and onto the back porch. She adjusted the clothes and mask for maximum effect. “Robbie, remember you have to stay quiet and you have to stay still.” His head nodded up and down. “Good, I hope this works.”

 

She went upstairs into the bedroom where the video was finishing up. “Look at you, Little Lord Fauntleroy, mommy’s little king!”

 

She paused as her eyes began to well up. She hugged him. “I’m so lucky. Poor Mrs. D’Angelo, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

 

“You can’t lose me mommy, I’ll never leave you.” She hugged him all the harder, “Robbie’s mom must be sad. I wish we could find Robbie.”

 

“So do I. Honey. So do I.”

 

She picked up a photo of the two of them. Jay crawled over her back to look at it with her.

 

“Mommy?”

 

“Yes dear?”

 

“Pictures are good. I was starting not to remember what Robbie looked like.” A short moment of horror crossed her face. “But now,” he continued, “I remember like he was here. Can we look for Robbie?”

 

“Sure honey, we can look but you have to get dressed. He began to run downstairs. “Wait a minute. I have your outfit here.”

 

She helped him on with his pants, socks and shoes. But before she could stop him he was off on his search.

 

“Robbie! Robbie!” he called

 

He looked under the sofa, under the bed, in the closet. His mother subtly guided him. “I don’t think he’d be in here. Maybe, he’s in the back yard.” She wanted to make sure he entered the back porch in a way that would deliver the proper effect. “Let’s go through the kitchen.”

He was totally focused now still calling out Robbie’s name.

 

Johanna didn’t notice the knock on the door. It was Jackie. Jackie went to the living room window. She knew they must be here. The car was still in the driveway. The bell didn’t work but she had to talk to her. She tried the side of the house and had just entered the back yard when she saw them through the French doors.

 

“Robbie!” Jay exclaimed as he ran to the corner where the dog was situated.

 

In the backyard Jackie stood slack jawed and then turned angry. Quickly, she ran to an unlocked door and burst through.

 

“What are you doing with my son?”

 

“Jackie. . . do you believe it? Jay came out here and there he was.” Johanna offered weakly.

 

Jackie exploded, “That’s not what it looked like! Why would he come here? He’s never been here in his life! That’s too much of a coincidence. It all makes sense. You were in my house. You probably hid him in your car. Then you stayed there while I searched, while the police searched. How could you?”

 

Jackie held Robbie tight. “We’re getting out of here, now! I’m calling the police!”

 

“No Jackie it wasn’t like that all.” Johanna pleaded. “I swear. I’ll call the police to let them know we found Robbie but please believe me I would never do something that would harm a child.”

 

For a moment they stood awkwardly. Jay walked over to Robbie innocently. “I got a dog. Want to see my dog?”

 

“Jay, not now.”

 

“Mommy, where’s my dog?”

 

“I said not now!” Johanna said definitively.

 

Jay recoiled. He had never heard his mother raise her voice before.

 

“Let’s call the police. They’ll sort this out.” Jackie turned her attention back to Robbie. “Robbie, where have you been?”

 

“I’ve been here, at Jay’s house.”

 

She shot a look at Johanna. “What did she do to you?”

 

“They fed me and Jay and me played fetch and he rubbed my belly.”

 

“What!? Played fetch, rubbed your belly! What are you talking about?”

 

“I was a dog mommy. My name was Rocket.”

 

Jackie was totally perplexed. “What have you done to my son? What sickness would cause someone to do such a thing? I always thought you stayed away because of your son. I heard stories about strange happenings when he was around. But it’s you. You’re the strange one!” She grabbed the phone and punched 9-1-1. “Yes, my name is Jackie D’Angelo and I’ve found my son. Yes, that’s right, I’ve found Robbie. He seems fine.” then with a pointed look in Johanna’s direction she added, “at least physically.”

 

Uncomfortable moments passed as they waited for the police to arrive, Johanna made a few feeble attempts to explain but gave up when Jackie ignored her. She collapsed on a chair in the living room as Jay tried desperately to comfort her. “What’s wrong mommy?” then thinking it was his fault added, “I’ll be good!” she hugged him tight. The realization that this could be the last time she might hold him overwhelmed her. She began sobbing.

 

Jackie didn’t notice. She was caught up in her own positive moment. “Oh Robbie! I don’t know what I would have done if you … if mommy didn’t find you.” She locked her arms around him.

 

“Mommy, you’re holding me too tight!”

 

She relaxed her hold a little “Better?” He nodded. “Mommy’s never going to let you go.” Robbie squirmed as she kissed the side of his head then took comfort.

 

“I hear sirens!” he lighted up.

Jackie strained her ears until finally she heard them too. She glanced at the front door and caught sight of the forlorn figure seated nearby. She couldn’t help but have a moment of pity. This was soon interrupted as Detective Plant rushed through the door.

 

He caught sight of Johanna and immediately understood she was involved. A woman from Child Welfare followed close behind and walked straight over to Robbie. “What are you doing?” Jackie asked as the woman attempted to unlock Robbie from her embrace.

 

“I’m sorry but we have to take him.” The woman named Yolanda intoned.

 

“What?!!” Jackie went nuts, “What do you mean! I found my son! I did it with no help from you! And you think you can just take him?!” she grabbed tight to Robbie, turned away then attempted to get up.

 

“Ma’am I’m sorry but we have to do this.” Yolanda pleaded.

 

Jackie didn’t care. “Detective.” The two women simultaneously pleaded for Plant’s help.

 

“Give us a moment Yolanda.” Yolanda complied, stepping back. “Mrs. D’Angelo, I understand that this is an emotional time for you.” Jackie stiffened. She knew this was crazy woman 101 and they were pandering to the crazy woman.

 

“What about her?” Jackie attempted to shift his focus. “Aren’t you going to arrest her?”

Johanna had become almost an afterthought, clinging to Jay in the fetal position.

 

He realized he would have to get Johanna out of here to get Jackie focused. “Excuse me a moment Mrs. D‘Angelo.”

 

He walked over to Johanna, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to place you under arrest pending clarification of the situation.”

 

“I understand.” She released Jay and rose to her feet. “What do you need me to do?”

 

He gestured for the female officer to come over. “Patrolwoman Hernandez will take care of it.” She patted Johanna down, reading her rights as she proceeded. Then she cuffed her hands behind her back.

 

“Mommy, why is the lady playing with you?” Jay asked.

 

Johanna reassured him, “The lady is doing what she’s supposed to.”

 

Hernandez was grateful for the assistance. “Do you have a husband, the boy’s father or anyone the boy can stay with?” she asked.

 

A smack of recognition caused Johanna to switch gears. “No, I have to stay with him! He needs me!” She was hysterical. “You don’t know what might happen if I’m not here to control things!”

 

The officers looked to each other. Plant spoke up “Yolanda, will you be able to deal with the two boys? We have no choice.”

 

Johanna broke away and ran to Jay. She pleaded, “Be a good boy, keep your eyes open and pay attention. Don’t use your imagination!”

 

They grabbed her away from him but Jay continued to cling. From the corner of her eye she could see Jackie speaking to the detective. “Jackie, please take care of Jay for me. Please, I know you’re a good mother. Please!”

 

Jackie was confused, ‘Why would she be hiding Robbie yet want me to take care of her son.’ They hustled Johanna out of the house pleading and crying all the while.

 

She turned to the detective. “There’s no way that could happen?” she asked a little guiltily. She had forgotten her own anguish. If anything, she had accepted that they were only doing what they should to protect Robbie.

 

“I don’t know ma’am. You’d have to ask Child Welfare.” He paused then added, “But I wouldn’t think so.”

 

***

 

Yolanda from Child Welfare was pleasant enough but Jay was used to only being around his mother. He was silent, distant and immovable. It wasn’t that he resisted, he just went limp like he was dead. He was carried to the car and strapped in. He spent the night in a shelter while his case worker made arrangements for a foster home.

 

Jackie had felt strangely uncomfortable since Johanna’s plea. She still believed she kidnapped Robbie but there was something strange about it.

 

Robbie had stuck to his story about being a dog. He said he had been right there barking when she began looking for him and that she had kept him locked in the mud room. He went on to say that Mrs. Noll had only called him Robbie yesterday morning and promised to change him back. For her part, Johanna had said no such thing, only that they found Robbie in that room at the same instant she first saw him through the door.

 

That was impossible. He was five years old. He couldn’t have gotten there on his own. But then, how did he get there?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 7

 

 

 

A couple of days had passed and Johanna was still in jail. Jackie found herself waiting to see Johanna. She hadn’t been able to raise bail. Jay had yet to be placed with a foster family. It seemed that there was no one available at the moment.

 

“You can see her now.” the guard stated coldly.

 

“How long do I have?”

 

“Half an hour.” He looked around. “But things are slow and sometimes a half hour feels more like an hour.”

 

“Thank you!” She didn’t know what to expect. He brought Johanna in, sat her down and attached her to the table, which was bolted to the floor. Johanna looked smaller in her orange prison jumpsuit. Her hair was flat to her head and obviously she hadn’t washed in days. She looked worn. She kept her head down as she entered, glancing up only once, shyly, to acknowledge Jackie. She even thanked the guard for shackling her. She was tired and defeated. They sat silently, facing each other. Jackie spoke first, “How are you?” She said with genuine concern.

 

“Lost.” was her simple reply.

 

“Lost?”

 

“My life is over. My son is alone. Everything is gone. I don’t think I can go on.”

 

Jackie thought about asking the obvious question but chose instead to show human concern. “Don’t give up. You don’t know what’s going to happen.”

 

“Yes I do. Let’s face it. I’m going to jail.”

 

“If you’re so certain of that why on earth did you take my son?”

 

Johanna didn’t hesitate, “I didn’t. I took a dog who was your son.”

 

“Not you too, so that’s where the story came from! I should have known that Robbie would never have invented that on his own. You’re crazy!”

 

“I suppose that’s what any sane person would think. It’s what I would think if faced with the same story.”

 

“If you know it’s crazy why did you say it. Oh, I get it; you’re trying to plead insanity.”

 

“No, I’m not crazy and when the time comes I’ll do what I have to do to protect my son. Even, if it means going to jail. Even, if it means losing him. I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve gone through.” She showed no emotion. As she spoke, Jackie nodded. “I know you’re the last person I should ask but could you please take Jay in. He’s a good boy. He won’t be any trouble.”

 

“I’ve already been in contact with Child Welfare. After I leave here I’m going to fill out some paper work. He should be home by suppertime. I’ll have him at school tomorrow.”

 

Johanna shoulders shook. She sobbed quietly, “Thank you! I’ll miss him. I don’t know what else to say.”

 

“I’ll bring him to visit you once he settles in. Would it be okay to go by your house to get his things?”

 

“Sure! There’s a key hidden above the kitchen window.” She offered then added. “Thank you!”

 

“Time’s up” the guard announced from the doorway. Obviously, a half hour must have seemed like five minutes. As Jackie left she saw a lightened Johanna head back to her cell.

 

Johanna suddenly realized she needed to prepare Jackie. “I have to tell you something.” She said while turning her head. It was too late. Jackie was already gone. “Oh my God! What have I done?” she cried, to no one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8

 

 

The people at Child Welfare asked surprisingly few questions. They needed to move Jay out quickly and welcomed Jackie’s help.

 

“You’ll be sharing Robbie’s room. Is that all right?” Jackie bent down to tell Jay.

 

Jay nodded. She patted his head then packed him into the child seat next to Robbie. They rode quietly for a few blocks. Jackie felt compelled to break the silence. “You ready to go back to school tomorrow?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Did you miss it?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Robbie will catch you up on the last couple of days.”

 

“Yeah, and Jay can tell me what I missed!” Robbie chimed in.

 

“Now Robbie, I’m sure the teacher has let you know what you missed.”

 

“Yeah, the ABCs and stuff.”

 

She turned into the driveway and stopped just in front of the garage door. Jackie had barely unbuckled the pair before they were out of the car and racing to the front door.

 

“I’ll beat you to the house.” Robbie called as he took the lead.

 

Johanna was pulling up the rear. “Wait guys, let me get my keys out.”

 

She was glad to see that Jay was adjusting so quickly. She smiled. It was even better to see Robbie more like himself again.

 

“Jay, I moved your stuff into Robbie’s room. I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.” Robbie squealed and they were off. It looked like they wouldn’t return for hours. She set about taking advantage of the down time to get a few things done not the least of which was Jay’s laundry. Johanna had been unable to get to it for obvious reasons.

 

She checked in on the boys one last time before heading downstairs. They were getting along just fine playing with the X-Men action figures that Robbie’s cousin Michael had handed down. Robbie had learned all their names when they used to play with them together. Michael had outgrown them, although Jackie suspected that was his mother’s idea. He still played with them every time he came over.

 

It was safe, so she thought. But she wasn’t downstairs two minutes when she heard a loud crash from above. She darted up the stairs two at a time. She arrived to see an array of action figures performing…well, actions, running, jumping, fighting, throwing things, totally without an assist from either boy. She stood motionless for a second then instinctively grabbed the boys.

 

“What are you doing mommy?”

 

“Playing a game dear. You’re going to wait in the living room and mommy’s going to see about the toys.”

 

“Aren’t they neat! I didn’t know they could do that. Jay showed me.”

 

“He did? Jay how did you do that?”

 

“I didn’t do it. You said they were action figures so that’s what I thought they did.”

 

“Huh?” slowly it dawned on her. ‘I said they were action figures so he thought they were action figures. So they did. . . actions. Now get a hold of yourself Jackie, do you realize what that means?’ A whirl of thoughts locked her in place.

 

“Mommy, can we go back to my room and play now?”

 

“No honey. Mommy’s got to fix something. Jay would you come with me?” she took him to the hallway. “Jay you know when I called them action figures that didn’t mean they actually did anything, right?”

 

“It didn’t?”

 

“No, it only meant you could play with them and pretend they were doing something. They’re only toys and they don’t really do anything.”

 

“No? Then how did they move?”

 

“They didn’t really move. It was your imagination. Come, I’ll show you.”

 

She let him enter first. Sure enough the figures were lying around, albeit all over the room. But none were moving.

 

“See Jay,” she said as she picked one up, “only toys.”

 

***

She had finally gotten the boys to sleep. Robbie had insisted on being tucked in. When Jay looked at her she realized she would have to expand the ritual.

 

Joey had arrived home late, so they were finally sitting down to dinner. Conversation was at first formulaic then she drifted into the incident with the toys.

 

She related it just as it happened, no embellishments. He sat silently taking it in, his attention growing with each fantastic detail.

 

“So what do you think?” she queried hopefully. She hadn’t provided the subtext that had led her to her own jump to judgment.

 

“Unbelievable.” was all he could muster. “You have any dessert?”

 

She let his words hang then accepted that he would have to digest what he heard before she moved on.

They spent the slim remainder of the evening, separately together. He turned on the TV to catch the ten o’clock news. She cleaned the dishes, folded the laundry, very Ozzie and Harrietesque. He went to bed first without a word. She was watching, waiting for her moment so she quietly followed him in. She had to get to her. . . revelation. He pretended not to notice her but she knew he was awake. He held on to the charade as long as possible. He knew he would get very little sleep if he allowed her to get started.

 

“Honey, are you awake?” She nudged him softly as she spoke. He drew himself tighter as she persisted.

 

She waited a few moments then spooned close against him, rubbed him a little and said, “I know you’re not asleep.” He did a pretend roll towards her and then away to get a little separation. She moved in again, this time more directly. “We have to talk. I have to get your opinion.”

 

He rolled over, opened his eyes. “I’m not getting rid of you tonight, am I?”

 

“No, you’re not. It’s important. It concerns Robbie and Jay.”

 

“I’m listening.” he gave in.

 

“You know how Robbie said he was a dog, Jay’s dog?”

 

“Yeah, that was crazy. By the way did you ever keep the appointment with the therapist?”

 

“No, we were scheduled for next week.”

 

“I guess they’re really booked, must be a lot of crazy kids in this town.”

 

She punched him in the side. “He’s not crazy. He just has a vivid imagination.”

 

“He doesn’t get it from me!” Joey laughed. “I mean you always tell me I have no imagination.”

 

“Very funny. I’m thinking about not taking him.”

 

“No? But you’re the one who was so gung-ho. Why the change?”

 

“I think he’s telling the truth.”

 

“What!” all pretense of sleepiness was gone, Joey was wide awake now. “The truth! That he was Jay’s dog? Maybe you should be the one going to a therapist.”

“I’m serious. Didn’t you hear what I told you over dinner?”

 

“Yes, but I didn’t believe it.”

 

“You didn’t say anything.”

 

“Did you hear what you told me? The action figures were alive and running around by themselves? Then you tell Jay they were toys and then they weren’t running around. You think that’s believable?”

 

“You’re right. I forgot. You don’t have an imagination. Why did I think I could talk about this with you?”

 

He could see she was upset. She drew away. He caressed her shoulder. “Go ahead, tell me your theory, your reasons. I’ll listen and try to get around reality.”

 

“You sure?” she asked tentatively.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” he said resignedly.

 

She moved closer, “Do you remember a few weeks ago, the first day of school. Robbie told us about a cat and a butterfly getting loose in the classroom?”

 

“Vaguely.”

 

“Well, the story was that Sally McKay made a clay model of her cat and when she went to the head of the class to show it off, a real cat jumped from her hands. Her mother told me they couldn’t find her model.”

 

“Maybe Sally’s a magician.” Joey replied impishly.

 

“I don’t think so.” Jackie responded patiently. “Later in the same class Jay went to display his art and a butterfly, a huge one, flew around the classroom.”

 

“Coincidence.”

 

“Do you remember about two years ago? There was that incident where the sky became crayon colors.” Jackie tried to jog his memory.

 

“Yeah, but I was at work.”

 

“I wasn’t. I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. They called it a “Crayola Sky”. Even the scientists couldn’t explain it. We were over at Ann’s house. The kids were coloring. Jay was there. It was the last time Johanna let Jay play with other children.” She continued, “They were drawing pictures or trying to. Mainly, they were breaking crayons as they dragged them back and forth across the paper, the usual wild kaleidoscope that young children manufacture.” She paused to check on his consciousness, “You still listening?”

 

“Yes, I am.” he said defensively.

 

“Alicia, you know Tom’s older daughter. She was about five at the time. She began making fun of Jay’s drawing. “What’s that?” she asked repeatedly. To which Jay replied simply “sky”. “No it’s not!” she answered then she giggled. Jay got more and more upset. Alicia grew more insistent. “Look out the window. Your drawing doesn’t look anything like the sky.”

 

“Jay never looked up. He continued coloring with his tongue hanging out between his teeth. Finally, he stopped drawing, walked over to the window with his picture and declared in simple triumph as he held it up. “Yes, it does.”

 

Jackie drew a breath and continued, “As one, we all looked out the large picture window on the far end of the room. The sky did indeed look like his childish drawing. We all ran outside, Jay bringing up the rear. From his vantage point, only part of the sky appeared this way, back over the house it all did. It strikes me now that when Jay came out the section of the sky shifted as he looked at it. His mother grabbed him and rushed him inside. She said he had to go to the bathroom. Now I remember. I saw them through the window as she spoke to him. I doubt if he went at all. When he came out he had his eyes closed and Johanna faced him towards the front of the house where the sky was still normal. She whispered and he opened his eyes. Slowly, he turned towards the Crayola Sky. As he wrapped his gaze around the horizon the sky resumed its normal hue. When everything had settled down, Johanna let Ann know they had to go. Until the first day of school that was the last any of us had seen of him. Now it all makes sense.”

 

Joe interrupted, “Yeah, we have a five year-old sleeping in our son’s room that can change the sky, can make a boy, a dog, who can bring plastic and clay objects to life. Now, what are we going to do about it?”

 

“Nothing, I’m going to see Johanna tomorrow, that poor woman, what a burden to deal with.” She paused, “One thing.”

 

“Yeah, what’s that?”

 

“At least I know she didn’t kidnap Robbie.” she started to get up.

 

“Where’re you going?”

 

“To check on the boys, I don’t think Jay realizes his... power.”

 

“Maybe we should separate them?” Joey said worriedly.

 

Jackie replied nervously, “Tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9

Jay had been trying to fall asleep for awhile but the strange surroundings were making it difficult. Finally, fitfully, he had drifted off. 

He saw a man, a scary man in shadow on his wall. The man was watching him and wouldn’t stop.

 

“Mommy! Make the bad man stop. Mommy? Mommy where are you?”

 

Jay wanted to go outside but he didn’t know how. He kept walking in circles. Every time he turned a corner he was back where he started. He closed his eyes and started pounding on the wall. After awhile he didn’t feel the wall anymore and opened his eyes. He was outside, the sun was up and he wasn’t scared at all. He could see his house in the distance and started running. Run as he might, the house never got closer. In fact, it kept getting farther away.

 

In the bed next to him, Robbie watched in wonder as the view kept changing. The walls moved then disappeared and suddenly he could see outside. It was like a movie he had watched with his dad, where you felt like you were flying. Fortunately, he had opened his eyes after the scary man had appeared in Jay’s dream so he didn’t see him.

 

Robbie got out of bed and headed to the left. He had received his first two-wheeler for his birthday and had barely gotten to ride it. Now was his chance. He was in bright sunshine one moment then pitch darkness the next. He was turned around and couldn’t find his way back to the light.

 

He started running but quickly tripped over something in the dark. He was frightened, he began crying.

 

In the back bedroom Jackie could faintly hear his cry. She rolled over and poked her husband, “Joey, do you hear that?”

 

Joey protested, “I don’t hear anything, go back to sleep.”

 

Jackie was insistent, “Get your lazy butt up! Our son’s in trouble!” she shouted.

 

“Okay, I’m going!” he stopped then asked. “He isn’t in his room?”

 

“It doesn’t sound like it.” She was out the bedroom door before him, running toward Robbie’s room. She threw open the door and they were blinded by the sunlight then hit in the face with a stiff blast of fresh air.

 

“What the…” Joey’s words said it all. What the indeed.

 

Jackie looked at the bed to find Jay was still there, seemingly sleeping peacefully. Robbie was nowhere to be found in what was left of the bedroom.

 

Joey began tossing things around and Jay started to stir. The vista outside began to narrow. “Sssh!” Jackie signed as quietly as she could while trying to draw Joey’s attention.

 

“What?” he mouthed, responding quickly to her guidance.

 

“If we wake Jay or even disturb his sleep I don’t know what will happen to Robbie. He could become trapped.”

 

The two stood still and watched as the wall opened up to its former size. They could hear Robbie clearer now. His voice was coming from the left.

 

“I’m going to go down.” Joey volunteered. “But first I got to get something.” He returned quickly with a flashlight and a ball of twine.”

 

Jackie was impressed. ‘He might be slow to start but once he gets started he really comes through.’ she thought.

 

He was about to venture out when they caught sight of a visage flowing towards them. The figure grew in size until it towered over them. “Johanna?”

 

There was no reply. Jackie quickly realized that this was Jay’s view, his dream and they couldn’t interact with it. “Hurry Joey! Get Robbie! This could close to our world at any minute.”

 

She could see Joey until he cleared the corner. When he disappeared from sight there was silence. She couldn’t stand it. Then to her horror everything started to darken. She could palpably feel Jay’s fear as a vague shadowy figure raced towards his mother. “Hurry Joey!” she called.

 

Finally, he answered, “I found him! We’re coming!”

 

He had tied the end of the twine to the bed post and she could see it moving up and down as someone followed it in. Jackie began to think they would make it. Then the shadow swallowed Johanna and everything disappeared. The room was as it was albeit with the twine passing through the wall. Jay hadn’t woken but he had shut the dream down. ‘They were lost! Why did I let this child in my house?’ she thought as she stared at Jay sleeping peacefully. She sat on the edge of the bed sobbing.

 

She had been there for she didn’t know how long when the door knob began to turn. “Oh no, where’s he off to now?” She whispered in horror.

 

“Jackie? You coming to bed or what?”

 

She flew to the door and hugged Joey. “Is Robbie all right?” she prayed.

 

“Yeah, I figured under the circumstances everyone would be better off if he slept in our bed for awhile.”

 

“You got that right.” As they headed back to the bedroom she asked the obvious question. “How did you escape? Everything closed up.”

 

“Once you cleared the corner, everything was normal. It was night and dark but I had a flashlight. We were able to find the front door.”

 

“I’m just glad the two of you are all right.” Jackie cried.

 

“Yeah, but I still don’t know what we’re going to tell Robbie.”

 

“We’ll think of something.”

 

Suddenly, Jackie bolted out of the room. She was gone before Joey could react. He could hear her running down the stairs. After several minutes she returned.

 

He was about to ask her why she left when she began telling him, “I think I might have solved the problem.”

 

“Really?” Joey couldn’t disguise his skepticism.

 

“No, I’m serious.”

 

“Go ahead.” He knew she would tell him regardless.

 

“I figured the reason Jay’s dream manifested the way it did was because he fell asleep in darkness. The darkness unleashed his imagination. So I got a night-light and put it in the room.”

 

“You really think that will work?”

 

“Well, I hope so but there was a good sign.”

 

“Yeah?” Joey asked.

 

“Jay woke up when I turned it on and told me that he always slept with one.”

 

“You really think it’s that simple?”

 

“All I know is Johanna must have done something all these years to keep Jay’s dreams under control.”

 

“Makes sense.” Joey agreed.

 

“Still, I think for the time being we should go with your idea, Jay will be sleeping alone.”

 

Joey laughed. “What’s so funny?” Jackie asked.

 

“I just thought maybe we were lucky.”

 

“Lucky? How could you think this was lucky?” Jackie said visibly annoyed.

 

“What’s the number one thing young kids in a dark room are afraid of?” Joey asked patiently.

Jackie was too tired to guess. “What?”

 

“Monsters! Monsters under the bed, monsters in the closet, monsters outside the window. Can you begin to imagine what those monsters would be if they were suddenly real?” Joey was scaring himself, awakening his own five year old.

 

“That does it! No TV, no video games, no … well anything.” Jackie announced.

 

Joey laid there, eyes wide-open, “I don’t think I’ll ever sleep again.”

 

Chapter 10

 

She dropped the boys at school and drove as fast as she could downtown. It hadn’t taken her long to turn this into routine. She had visited Johanna every day since Jay had come to live with her. After experiencing Jay’s power first hand she had to talk to her about it. She had decided that today was the day. It was clear that Johanna didn’t belong here. Her co-habitants were decidedly rough trade. After a short while the guard bought her out. She clearly hadn’t slept much. They exchanged pleasantries then Jackie blurted out. “Listen, I know for certain you didn’t kidnap Robbie.”

 

“What. . . how do you know that?”

 

“Jay had one of his uh. . . episodes.”

 

“Oh God! What happened now? Is everyone all right?”

 

“Everyone’s fine. I was able to fix it. I figured out how you “fixed” Robbie and used the same technique.”

 

Johanna’s face brightened. “You don’t know how good it feels to finally share that secret.”

 

“Does Jay know?”

“No, I’ve been careful to keep it from him. As near as I can figure he doesn’t really control it nor will it. It’s simply that the world becomes what he believes it to be, at least in appearance. The basic nature of things remains unchanged.”

 

“The possibilities are mind-boggling.”

 

“The reality is mind-boggling.” Johanna replied.

 

“How can you control it?”

 

“I’ve been developing routines for how he interacts with the world that I thought would keep it under control. But every day I was worried sick about what might happen. When I realized he had changed Robbie to a dog all my worst fears came to fruition. I didn’t figure it out until about two hours before you found him. It took that long to set up the change back.”

 

“You poor thing, there must have been such scary moments over the years.”

 

“The worst is the nightmares. Imagine having a child who thinks there are monsters under the bed and because that’s what he thinks that’s what there are.”

 

“He has…nightmares?” Jackie feigned ignorance.

 

“Not as often as before. I cut his intake of television so his dreams don’t have as much nourishment but there’s enough there already. The key is to make him secure, peaceful, you know, serene.”

 

“Would a night-light help?” Jackie was seeking affirmation.

 

“It might, I haven’t thought of that, although he does have one.”

 

Jackie sank in her chair. ‘It all seemed too much. It all seemed unreal. But here she was having her crazy “theory” confirmed. What had she got herself into?’ “Joey is concerned about Jay and Robbie sharing a bedroom.”

 

“They are?” Johanna resumed her sunken, haunted look. She didn’t say anything further.

 

“What do you think? Do you think it’s safe?”

 

“I . . . don’t know. Has he been sleeping well?”

 

“So far, for the most part, but it’s only been a few nights.” She didn’t think telling the truth would help Johanna.

 

“Probably better if they stay together. He may feel safe. I would have expected his nightmares to increase when we were separated. He knows I’m in jail?”

 

Jackie bit her tongue.

 

“Yes, but I don’t think he fully realizes what jail is.”

 

“It’s probably better that he doesn’t.”

 

“Okay so I’ll keep them together.” Johanna changed subjects “When are you going to bring him to visit me?”

 

“School’s closed for teacher education this Thursday so I thought I’d bring him then.”

 

Johanna smiled, “That will be wonderful. Are you going to tell him?”

 

“No, I figured I’d wait just in case something comes up.”

 

“You think that’ll happen?”

 

“No, but I would rather not get Jay’s hopes up needlessly.” She paused a moment, “I really have to go.” She started to get up. “I’ll see you Thursday.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here.” Johanna said ironically.

 

Jackie’s head swam with the possibilities. She had to worry about what he dreamed as well as what he saw! Twenty-four, seven, no time off and the consequences were life-threatening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11

“I’m going to see mommy! I’m going to see mommy!” Was all Jay could say as he ate his Cheerios.

“That’s right Jay. We’re going to visit your mommy.” She shouldn’t have been surprised at his excitement but he had been remarkably silent on the subject of his mother. He hadn’t once asked where she was. She was grateful for that. Now she had to explain where mommy was and that she wasn’t coming home any time soon. She was tempted to leave that to Johanna but she knew she couldn’t do that.

“Jay.”

“Yes, Mrs. D’Angelo?”

“Do you know where your mommy is?”

“She told me she was going away so I thought she was going to a hotel like we did when we went to the shore.”

“It’s kind of like a hotel. Only you can’t leave and you have to wear a uniform.”

“Like a policeman?”

“Not quite. You have to wear the same thing the other guest’s are wearing.”

“Oh!” He paused for a moment. “Why did mommy have to go there?”

She knew this was coming. She would try to be evasive yet truthful. “Mommy had to go there so the police could talk to her. She has to stay until they know what happened to Robbie.”

“But Robbie’s here?”

“Yes, but they want to know what happened when he was gone.”

“Can’t mommy just tell them and come home?”

“I wish it was that simple but adults make things a bit more complicated than that.”

He grew silent. He tried to understand. But he didn’t, instead he started to brighten, “I’m going to see mommy!”

“Yes dear, you’re going to see mommy.”

***

Jackie arrived at the jail with Jay in tow. Joey had volunteered to stay home with Robbie. She hadn’t gotten five feet in the door when she noticed the sign. “No children under eleven years old permitted beyond this point.” She walked over to the desk and stated “Hi, I’m here to visit Johanna Noll.”

The woman behind the desk barely glanced up. “You have someone to watch him?” she glanced at Jay.

“He’s here to see his mother.”

“He’s under eleven years old; he’s not allowed to visit.”

“But she’s expecting him.”

“There’s no exceptions.” She saw the upset in Jackie’s face. “Look, I’ll watch him while you go back but that’s the best I can do.”

“Okay.” Jackie weakly acquiesced. “Jay you’re going to have to stay with this nice lady, be a good boy.”

“I’m not going to see mommy?”

She hugged him, “Soon honey, soon.”

She handed him off to the lady. As the woman engaged Jay she pointed Jackie down the hall.

Jackie caught sight of Johanna across the room. She could feel her searching for Jay and growing increasingly anxious as Jackie’s approach showed he wasn’t there. Jackie couldn’t help thinking to herself that it might be awhile before Johanna got out. She realized it would be up to her to get Jay and Johanna back together. After all, Johanna had been so isolated the last few years that she didn’t really have any friends. As for relatives, who knew what happened to Jay’s father and there was never a mention of her parents or any siblings. Wait ... she had spoken of an older sister? Brother? but only briefly. It didn’t appear they had much contact. No, it looked like it was up to her to sort this out. Maybe she could concoct a story to explain away the kidnapping. Say she was distraught at the time but now she remembers a man running away as she came around back. She needed to get Johanna and possibly even the boys, on board. She had to think of how to do it. They probably monitored all conversations here, taped them, recorded them. Maybe, she didn’t need Johanna at all. Johanna didn’t have to see the man running away. She could’ve just found Robbie, coincidentally, at the moment Jackie arrived. That sounded good. Now how to proceed, a therapist? Maybe the truth comes out. She runs to the police. It might work. She thought of the two of them back together. It had to work.

“Guests have to stay behind the line.” the guard had waited several minutes before dutifully delivering the required instructions.

“Where’s Jay?”

“They wouldn’t let him in.” Jackie answered.

“Why not?”

“They have a strict rule about no children under eleven.”

“Even if they’re visiting their mother?”

“I asked, no exceptions.”

“I’m sure you tried your best.” Johanna was surprisingly calm. “Is he being a good boy?”

“A perfect little angel.” Jackie appreciated her reaction.

“How about school?” Johanna asked.

“He’s fitting right in. He and Robbie get along so well it’s like they’re long-lost brothers.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Jay isn’t used to being around other children. I’m glad it’s working out.”

“How are you holding up?”

“The nights are tough. I really miss Jay. I worry about him. Well, you know with his gift and all. I become concerned about the possibilities. My imagination runs wild, alone in the dark.”

Jackie decided it was a good time to get some information. “I realized that I don’t know a heck of a lot about you. You know, with how alone you’ve been. I was wondering if you have any close relatives, or make that any relatives, that might be able to help.”

Johanna thought a second then said, “Not really. Mom and dad passed a few years before Jay arrived. I have a sister but I have no idea where she is or even if she is. We had a major falling out when I was still at home. We were never close anyway.”

“How about Jay’s father?”

Johanna blackened, “He disappeared when Jay turned three. I haven’t heard from him since, not a word. I don’t think he could handle Jay’s um, “differences”.”

“He just up and left?”

“Yes.”

“Did he leave you anything?”

“Actually, he left everything. The house was fully paid for, so were the two cars. He had stocks and a fair amount of cash.”

Jackie was shocked. “It sounds more like he disappeared. Why are you so sure he left you?”

“We had a fierce argument the night before about Jay. He thought we should seek help. I disagreed. He said he couldn’t put up with it anymore. He was leaving. He stormed out and I never saw or heard from him again.”

“Did you call the police?”

“No.”

“What about his job?”

“He didn’t have one.”

“Didn’t he have parents? Relatives? Friends?” Jackie asked

“Just like me, his parents died a few years ago and he was an only child. He’d lost touch with his friends, what there were of them. He moved a lot. We were basically all each other had.”

Jackie couldn’t control herself, “Then where the hell did you think he went!” Jackie thundered. “He had no place to go, no one to go to. He didn’t take anything! Didn’t you even suspect for a minute that he might be in trouble? He might be hurt. He could be dead. You didn’t even consider this?!”

Johanna was taken aback by Jackie’s strong reaction, “I was confused. I was protecting Jay. I wasn’t. . .”

“Still, you had to wonder what happened to him.”

“I did. But it wasn’t for several weeks. I walked around in a rage then I walked around numb then I settled on scared. I was afraid if I contacted the police, they might notice Jay’s differences. I knew Gary would want me to protect him so I decided not to do anything.”

“And no one’s checked in the last two years.”

“No one, shocking huh, you would think someone might have by now but as long as I pay my bills on time and lay low no one seems to care. I know you won’t believe me but I really miss him. I’ve been alone so long.”

Jackie felt sorry for her. ‘What a messed up woman.’ she thought. ‘I hope they weren’t paying attention to the surveillance camera, that would be all she needs.’

“Listen, I have to go now. I don’t want to push it with the woman watching Jay.”

“Okay, tell Jay mommy loves him.” Then she added, “You will come back?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back. But hopefully we’ll get you out before that’s necessary.” she paused, then added, “Whatever you hear, go along with it.”

“What?” Johanna was confused.

“Agree with whatever I say. I can’t elaborate. You’ll be out soon.” Jackie hoped she would eventually catch on.

“Okay. Thank you again. I know you didn’t ask for this.” There was still no sign of recognition.

“Too late to change that now.” Jackie was all in.

Chapter 12

“I’m here to see Detective Plant. He’s expecting me.”

“Just wait here. Ted’s in the back.” The woman buzzed him on the intercom. “Ted there’s a. . .”

“Mrs. D’Angelo.” She consciously decided to revert to her pre-mom days. She had an obvious effect on men. She had worn a figure hugging, custom-tailored jumpsuit from her pre-mom days. She discovered she still had the goods.

“Mrs. D’ Angelo to see you.” She had the intercom on speaker.

“Sure, I’ll be right out.” said the disembodied voice from the speaker.

She had spoken to him many times while Robbie was missing but she was only just now really seeing him. He was tall, well over six foot and much younger than she remembered, better looking too.

“Mrs. D’Angelo! How are you doing? How’s Robbie?”

“He’s fine, we’re fine. We’ve been seeing a therapist.” she fibbed.

He nodded, “What can I do for you?” He jumped right over what she had rehearsed as her opening. ‘Okay Jackie, reboot.’ She thought to try refocusing

“Like I said, I’ve been going to a therapist.”

“That’s good.” he interrupted.

She smiled weakly as she thought, ‘I wish he’d keep quiet. Lying is hard enough.’ then answered. “Yes it is. Well, the reason I’ve come to see you is that I’ve started to remember things, details from that day, details that might be useful to find out who took Robbie.”

She had his attention. “We have the person that did it. You’re the one who gave her to us.” The prospect of more work crossed his mind.

“Memories are coming back that are causing me to doubt what I originally perceived.”

He was clearly annoyed. “Memories? You know sometimes these therapists just plant thoughts in your head.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I was extremely upset when I spoke to you. It took quite a while to calm down, to bring events to clarity.”

“Okay, tell me what happened.” he said resignedly. “Wait a minute; let me get Jeanne in here to witness your statement.”

Jeanne, the receptionist, ambled in, “Yes Ted?”

“Jeanne, Mrs. D’Angelo has remembered some new details. I have to take her statement. Could you get the recorder?”

“I wish you had told me before I came in here. Give me a few minutes. I have to get someone to cover the front.” She left as slowly as she had entered.

“As you heard, it’s going to take a while.” He started flipping papers around in a pretense of busyness. It didn’t take him long to realize he was just being stupid. “I’m sorry, where’s my manners. Can I get you something?”

“No, that’s all right.”

“Do you need to use the …?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Satisfied that he had returned to the limits of civility, he resumed the process of looking overwhelmed. Jackie couldn’t help it, she giggled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Jackie answered, her head down to avoid cracking up.

“No really, c’mon what’s so funny?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yes, it’ll give us something to do while we wait.”

“It’s you, trying to look busy.”

“Really, I have a lot of work to do.” he said defensively.

“I’m sure you do, but well, I used to work in a law office. Sometimes, when I didn’t know quite what to do when I was stuck with someone, I would start flipping papers, moving them around to give the impression I had something more pressing.”

He broke out in a broad grin. “You got me.” he admitted. “I mean usually if I’m left alone with an attractive woman I’d talk her up but I know your story, married with a child. Well, it would be creepy. I’d be a creep. It’s one of my limits. So instead I feign lack of interest by looking busy.”

“You think I’m attractive?” Everything else he said had rushed right by. He had found her hot button. It wasn’t hard. Being told they were attractive was most women’s hot button. Especially if you set it while trying to resist being creepy.

“That’s just obvious. You must know it. In your case it’s just a fact not a subjective opinion.”

“Detective, a woman, particularly a mom never tires of hearing it.” ‘A fact, huh, good one.’ she thought especially if no one seems to notice any more.

“Thank you ma’am just doing my job, you know promoting personal security and all.”

Jeanne reentered the room. Jackie and Detective Plant both started involuntarily then made a few half-hearted attempts at banal conversation. Ted recovered first, “Good Jeanne you have the tape recorder. Okay Jackie, uh Mrs. D’Angelo,” she smiled at his nervousness. “Could you tell us what happened in your own words.” Immediately, he stuck his hand up to get her to stop. Then he gestured to Jeanne to turn off the recorder. “I’m sorry I didn’t start it right. I’m supposed to introduce it, date time, name, etc. Okay Jeanne, turn it back on. You rewound it right?”

“Give me a second.”

They smiled at each other as Jeanne’s thick fingers depressed the key. ‘You’d think this was really difficult,’ they thought more or less simultaneously.

“May 14th, 1999 Friday it’s 10:05 a.m. This is the sworn statement of Mrs. Jacqueline D’Angelo of 2232 Westwood Road, township of Glen Fields, regarding the kidnapping of her minor son Robert D’Angelo. Statement given to Detective Ted Plant in the presence of Jeanne De Paolo.” He paused then added, “Do you swear the statement you are about to make is freely given without duress and that it is truthful to the best of your knowledge?”

“I do.”

“You may begin, Mrs. D’Angelo.”

“Where should I start?”

“Jeanne, hold tape.” Detective Plant said patiently. Turning towards Jackie, “Begin with the reason for your statement, something like, this is to correct my prior sworn statement. Then just dive in to what your new statement is.”

Jeanne rewound the tape. “Today is Friday, May 14th, 1999 we are at the Glen Fields police station. Present are Detective Ted Plant and Jeanne DePaolo to witness the statement of Jacqueline D’Angelo. Let’s begin.”

Jackie jumped on it this time. “I just want to correct my testi…”

“Wait, wait. I have to get something on the record.”

“You haven’t done this too often have you?”

He looked at Jeanne, she mumbled, “I know, I know, stop tape.”

“Honestly, no, Robbie’s kidnapping was a first for me. Actually, it was a first for the whole department. This is a quiet town so procedurally I am rather virginal. I probably shouldn’t say this but we, I, made a lot of mistakes the first time around. I’m just trying to avoid them this time.”

Jeanne shook her head and grumbled, “The chief ain’t gonna like this!”

Ted got nervous. Jackie touched his right arm, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. We’ll do it until we get it right. After all, I have my son. He’s safe and sound. That’s all I wanted. Now I’m here to make sure the correct party is punished and the innocent are left alone.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he looked into her large brown eyes “Thank you.”

She could see she had him. “You know what helped me when I had a job that I wasn’t familiar with, a procedure manual. You must have something you can follow.”

“Sure, you wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

It sat, still in its shrink wrap, on the credenza behind his desk. He tried to rip it open by hand. Jeanne took it from him and slit it open with one deft thrust of her letter opener. She handed it to him with a slight shake of her head. “Uh thanks Jeanne.”

He gave it a quick going over and found the applicable section. He summoned all his officiousness. “Ladies, let’s get started.” They looked at each other and simultaneously decided it was too easy.

“Jeanne, roll tape.” He shot through the boilerplate, correctly this time. Finally, it was Jackie’s turn. She was relaxed. She realized that her story change would probably get them off the hook. It sounded like they had screwed up the investigation so badly that they were holding Johanna solely because they didn’t know what else to do. ‘Maybe, when I’m finished, I’ll ask him.’ she thought.

“I’m here to revise my statement.” she answered to the question of the purpose of this affidavit.

“In your own words could you tell us the reason for this change.”

“Yes, at the time of my son’s, Robbie’s, recovery I was under a great amount of understandable stress. As time has passed I’ve remembered details that weren’t apparent to me at the time of my original statement.”

“Could you elaborate please?” Detective Plant prodded.

“On the day of Robbie’s recovery, April 12th, I had driven over to Johanna Noll’s house to well, mainly for her company. During Robbie’s disappearance, she had been a great comfort to me. I had tried the front door but no one had answered. I tried for about five minutes and was going to leave when I heard a noise coming from the side alley. I figured it was Johanna, so I came around to check. As I turned the corner of the house, I saw a figure cutting through the hedges to the house next door.”

“Did you get a good look?”

“No, it was just a fleeting glance. I didn’t stay focused on him. Instead, I was overwhelmed with a drive to look around back. I guess I sensed something.”

“You said him. You saw a man?”

“He struck me as mannish but I didn’t really see him.”

“Do you have any idea how tall this person was?”

“He was shorter than the bush he passed through.”

“How much shorter?” he asked.

“About a foot, he was moving so you’d have to correct for that.”

“Okay, you headed for the back, go on.”

“I turned the back corner and saw the rear door. I kept moving towards it and there was Robbie. I was overwhelmed.”

“Understandable.”

“For a moment, and then when I saw Johanna and Jay I became enraged. I immediately jumped to the conclusion, she had taken him.”

“You say jumped to the conclusion. What do you mean?”

“On reflection, in my mind’s eye I’ve come to realize they were first seeing him too. Then the figure in the alley, the noise that drew me to the back, well it’s apparent that was the kidnapper.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Johanna was with me when Robbie disappeared. She stayed with me for hours afterwards, even after you arrived. We searched that house from top to bottom. There wasn’t a sign of him and there wasn’t a sound from him either, even though I called repeatedly. He was totally unharmed. The only way he could have remained silent and unharmed during that period would be if he was already gone. That would require an accomplice, more than that a motive. I’ve come to realize recently, how utterly alone she is. There is no accomplice. She has no involvement. She is innocent. She should be set free. She should be sent home to care for her son.”

The detective started to react but in a moment of professionalism stopped himself.

“Thank you Mrs. D’Angelo. Is there anything else?”

“No, that’s it.”

He looked at Jeanne and made a slashing motion. She stopped the tape.

“Well?” Jackie asked.

“Well what?” he replied.

“I could see you busting to talk.” She was smiling.

“Oh.” he looked at Jeanne as she gathered her equipment.

“I’m leaving before you say something really stupid that I’d have to deal with.” Jeanne said sardonically as she ambled out the door.

An awkward silence momentarily filled the room. They shifted anxiously in their seats. Finally, Ted spoke. “Based on what you’ve told me. I can’t see any reason why Ms. Noll will be held much longer. I’ll get this over to the prosecutor’s office. We might even have her out by close of business today.”

Jackie smiled broadly, “That’s great.” she paused, “but I can’t resist, I have to ask. Do you think you could have held her much longer in any event?”

“Why would you say that?” he asked, slightly insulted.

“Frankly, it doesn’t seem that you know what you’re doing.”

“I do so!” he offered weakly.

“You said so yourself. You said you made a lot of mistakes.”

He turned beet red. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”

She thought he looked cute, boy-like in his embarrassment. She decided to let him off the hook. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” he looked relieved. “As long as Johanna gets out of jail, what is there to tell?”

His face grew taut at the implication. “Yeah, I guess your statement takes care of everything.”

“Not everything. You still have a kidnapper out there.”

“Yeah right, we have a kidnapper to find. I have a feeling that might prove difficult.” He knew that he had just lost the prime suspect in the biggest case he would probably ever have but still he felt elated. It would give him an excuse to talk to Jackie. He didn’t think she’d mind.

“I really have to be going.” Jackie said as she grabbed her purse off the table and turned towards the door.

“You don’t need me for anything else, do you?” she smiled playfully as she said it.

“Uh, no, nothing else. I’ll let you know personally if anything changes with your …friend.”

“Friend? I don’t think that even begins to cover it, more like a duty. I understand her, what she’s going through, but I barely know her.”

“Okay, whatever but still I’ll let you know. Will you be home later today?” Ted asked hopefully.

“Yes, just me and the boys once school lets out. I’ll expect you.”

She worked it through the door. She hadn’t done that in awhile. She thought she had forgotten how to use the power. It felt really good.

“Good-bye Jeanne.” she said as she passed the front desk.

“Good-bye Ms. D’Angelo!” ‘Some of these women,’ she thought, ‘marriage used to mean something.’

As she exited the building the stimulation of this beautiful spring day hit her. Jackie decided to treat herself. The statement hadn’t taken as long as she thought it would. ‘It’s about time I took some me time. I think I’m due for a manicure, maybe a pedicure if they can fit it in!’

The nail place, “Tootsies”, was in a storefront a few buildings down from police headquarters. She remembered she used to pamper herself all the time, hair, nails clothes, shoes. But she hadn’t emphasized “me” in quite some time. Lately, she felt like she was taken for granted. She was Robbie’s mom not Jackie. It may have been her imagination but her husband wasn’t as attentive, make that jealous, as he once was. There was a time when he would get crazy if a man just looked at her. Now, well, he didn’t seem to notice any more. She had consciously decided to turn it back on this morning. Her custom tailored, front zippered jump suit, shades of Charlie’s Angels, still fit. There was more to her but it was contained through the miracle of Lycra. And it had worked like it always used to. Detective Plant had noticed her, really noticed her even though they had spent hours together in the last few weeks. He was cute, there seemed to be something. . . ‘Jacqueline, calm down, you’re a married woman.’ Still, it felt great to be noticed.

She sashayed into the nail parlor. It was in a long, narrow building. There had to be twenty stations each with a cute Asian “girl” small, thin, young. The only one who spoke English clearly was an elegant older woman at the register.

“Hello, can I help you?” she asked in a well established accent.

“Yes, I’d like to get my nails done.”

“You want special?”

“Special?”

The woman pointed to a chalkboard with prices, the specials sat at the top.

“Get one hand done, second one free.” the woman laughed heartily then added, “Only kidding. You never been here?”

“No, I haven’t.” Jackie was quite surprised by the joke. She hadn’t expected it… here.

“Tell me what you want. I tell you how much.”

“I just want my cuticles trimmed; my nails shaped and filed, a little color, nothing too fancy.”

“Nothing fancy.” she turned towards the girl at station three. “Ming mao, kitty cat, fondue, chop, chop, wing wang.” At least that’s how it sounded to Jackie. The woman turned to Jackie, “Come this way, Lili will take care of you.”

Lili, of course spoke little English and none that was useful to conversation. Jackie entertained herself by watching the TV on the far wall. A teaser for the noon news was on. “Coming up at twelve, sources tell us that a local woman is to be released in kidnapping case. More of that story as well as other news, sports and weather coming up at twelve.”

She smiled. ‘I guess I won’t be getting that visit after all. What the heck, I’ll just do this for me.’

Chapter 13

She went straight to the school from her manicure to pick up the boys. She arrived home to the happy surprise of finding Detective Plant encamped on her porch.

“So Detective, what brings you here?” she asked airily.

“I guess you haven’t heard. They’re going to release Johanna in a little while.” he replied seriously.

“That’s great! Jay will be so happy.” she feigned ignorance.

“I’m sure he will. He has you to thank.”

“It was the least I could do. I put her there in the first place.”

“You were only telling what you knew or at least thought you knew.” he said consolingly.

“Still, a month in jail, a month without her child that’s a lot to forgive.” Jackie empathized.

“You took care of her son didn’t you?” He felt the need to explain. “I found that out after you left.”

“Yes, I did. That makes it easier to face her.” she paused then added. ”Do you know how she’s getting home?”

“I’m pretty sure a squad car will take her. It’s customary, unless a friend offers.”

“Maybe I could meet her with Jay?” Jackie mused.

“That would be nice.”

“How does custody work? Do I just hand him over to her?”

“No, I think you have to wait for Child Welfare’s approval. They’d want to assure she’s in a fit state, the home is ready. Probably takes a couple of days.”

“A couple of days? I don’t think either of them would like that.”

“That’s the way it works, nothing to be done about it.” Detective Plant was sure of this.

“No, that won’t do. I know, I’ll have her stay here while they clean things up.”

“That’s a bit much, you don’t owe her that much. I mean she might be a bit off after being locked up. Do you really want to take that risk? With your son? With yourself?”

“My business, but thanks for your concern.”

“At least your husband will be home.” he said to imply he could see some reasonableness to her intention.

“Actually no, he’s out of town.” ‘Jackie stop it.’ she thought.

“Oh.” He didn’t quite understand how he felt at this revelation.

“So, who should I see?”

“See? Right. If you follow me down to the station, I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks, that’ll make it much easier.”

They both stood, awkwardly silent. Finally, Jackie spoke.

“Okay then. I’ll bundle up the boys and meet you outside.”

“Right.”

He walked distractedly to the dark blue sedan. ‘What the hell are you doing Plant? She’s married. Ah what’s the harm in a little innocent flirting, nothing will come of it. A little food for the imagination that’s all.’ He couldn’t wait to see her reappear.

Meanwhile, inside, Jackie was dealing with more mundane matters. Unpacking and repacking a couple of five year olds often proved challenging. She had developed a ritual. She went through their backpacks looking for the odd teacher note or loose end picked up from the other children. She never knew what she’d find. They were in the same class but only rarely did they bring home the same day’s story. Then there were the coolers. She sent them in with snacks which they invariably bought home half eaten or untouched. When she forgot to check she was left with some mess. Still, if she even suggested they didn’t need anything, they would become very upset.

She processed the bags and got the boys out of their school clothes. It was early in the school year. It was still a novelty for them to dress up but she didn’t want to risk it on their free time.

She paused to look at herself. ‘Too much, I have to dress down. Don’t want to give the inmates or their warders too much to think about.’

She looked at herself switched back to her more traditional sweatpants and T-shirt. “Better, well not better but. . . more appropriate.”

“Okay kids, ready to go?”

“Yeah!” Robbie answered. “Where are we going, McDonald’s?”

“No, maybe later. Right now we’re going to get Jay’s mother.”

“We are?!” Jay squealed.

“Yes we are. You’ll be happy to see your mom again won’t you?”

“Yes, I miss her.” He looked away then back. “I can go home to my own room and my own toys?”

“Soon, but not right away, you and your mother will stay with us until we get everything ready.”

“Okay.” he answered happily.

“Get in the car boys.” She locked the front door and quickly headed towards the car. She turned her face towards Detective Plant. “I guess I’ll follow you.”

“Okay, see you there.”

She got caught at a light so Plant went on ahead. He was waiting for her in the parking lot, slumped against his car. She wordlessly acknowledged him then walked by his side.

“Wait here.” He went to a back room. It was several minutes before he returned. “They just have to finish processing. Then she’ll be out.”

“Detective, could you come here?” he followed the voice then returned. “She needs to see you.” he informed Jackie.

“What about?”

Plant shrugged his shoulders to indicate the extent of his knowledge. “I’ll stay with the kids.”

She followed the matron to the back. There was Johanna. She was smiling but otherwise she was a mess. She’d lost weight, her face was drawn and she had broken out in some sort of a rash. Her hair was a mess as well. She was small, unkempt and tired but she was happy to see her.

“Did you bring Jay with you?” Johanna asked brightly.

“Of course, he’s right outside.”

“I can’t wait! Mildred can I go?” she said to the matron.

“Just a little longer, we have to give you your property and have you sign for it.”

“You can keep it. I just want to go home.”

“I’d love to accommodate you but we have to get our jumpsuit back and if you try to walk out of here naked, we’d just have to arrest you again.”

They all laughed. “Okay then.” she turned to Jackie. “So how is he? I hope he remembers me. I mean. I know he remembers me but I hope he remembers how we were. He’s probably gotten used to you and Robbie. He might not be . . . the same.”

“He’ll be okay. A day or two and you’ll be right back to normal. Now you know Robbie can’t go home with you yet, right?”

“What!? What do you mean? I’m free, the charges were dropped. We’re going home!”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. Until the Child Welfare people give their permission, he has to stay with me.”

“I can’t accept that. You know that’s just plain wrong. You have to give him to me.”

“I can’t. I’m responsible.” Johanna got a dangerous look in her eyes. Jackie saw this and realized she had to speed this up. “You can stay with me, with Jay until they give me the okay. It’ll only be a couple of days.”

Johanna softened immediately, “Thank you! Thank you! That’s all I want, to be with my boy, nothing else matters.”

“Johanna here’s your stuff. Go through and make sure it matches what we took, then sign this form at the bottom. If anything’s missing there’s a form attached to file for damages. You can change back there.” Mildred pointed to a small room off the hall.

Johanna perfunctorily signed the form, barely checking her possessions. Then she took the basket and its contents and headed down the hall.

“You should put the jumpsuit in the basket.” Mildred called after her.

“Okay.”

“Johanna. I’ll be waiting outside.” Jackie said as she turned towards the door.

“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

Jackie exited the building. “You’re relieved detective. I’ll take over.” she playfully told Plant then added, “Were they any trouble?”

“No, I was showing them my badge and some other police gadgets. They were totally engrossed. How’s she doing?”

“She’s happy to be getting out, of course, but she doesn’t look like the same woman who went in. If I hadn’t seen her on and off, I wouldn’t recognize her.”

“How long since Jay’s seen her?” Plant asked.

“Over four weeks. There’s been quite a change since then. Oh, here she comes.” She could see her coming down the hall but the boys, seated, could not.

“Thanks for everything Mildred. You’ve been really kind.”

Jay’s ears perked up at the sound of his mother’s voice. He was running to the door before Jackie could do anything.

“Mommy!” he didn’t look up as he buried his head in her leg. Then, they all saw it. As he searched for her face, her appearance changed not from within but from without. She was exactly as she always looked, exactly as Robbie saw her.

Jackie should have expected it. But no one else was prepared. Plant stared. Mildred was stunned silent. But other people, strangers, who happened to see the transformation, were more verbal in their reaction.

“Did you see that!?” exclaimed one woman nearby.

Finally Plant recovered. “You knew this was going to happen didn’t you?” He stared at Jackie looking for a hint of acknowledgment. “She changed.” Looking at Johanna, “You changed!” he blurted out. “This isn’t possible.”

Johanna realized what had happened. She didn’t know what to say and grew very uncomfortable. Jackie stepped up. “You look great. All it took was one look at your son and you were transformed!” She hoped Johanna would follow her lead.

“Yes, he has that effect on me. I’m just one of those people whose appearance is affected by their emotions.”

Ted listened warily. He knew it was more than that and it appeared that Jackie was well aware. But still, what he witnessed was unbelievable even if others had seen it. He knew it was better to let it go. “I’d say. You’re totally transformed from the woman I saw a few moments ago. I’m happy that you’re back with your son. It’s obvious you need each other.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Jackie half whispered as she took her arm. Johanna didn’t require much encouragement. They rushed to the car.

Detective Plant thought better about joining them. “I don’t want to know.” he mumbled.

“That was close.” Jackie said as they employed the privacy of the car. “I should’ve thought about it. I would have prepared Jay for your condition.”

“I did think about it” Johanna replied quietly.

Jackie was flabbergasted, “Then you should have told me.”

“I didn’t want to warn you. One of the few perks of having a gifted child is his ability to see me in an idealized state. I wanted him to dress me up. Now, I just have to work at marrying appearance to reality.”

Jackie was incredulous. “So you risked revealing your secret just so you could look good?” She became intensely aware of this flaw in Johanna’s character. “It was almost like you want people to know.”

“Maybe I do. Maybe I’m sick of it, sick of hiding. A month of jail, of separation opened me to other possibilities. Another person knowing my secret was so liberating.”

“How can you say that? Until a couple of minutes ago you were all worn down. I would hate to see you if you weren’t liberated.”

“I was free of the secret but I was still in jail. I was still separated from my son with the very real possibility that I wouldn’t be there to help him grow up.”

“Still, won’t it be dangerous for Jay if people find out he’s “special”.”

“Maybe, but right now I don’t think I have the energy to keep up the facade of normalcy. I was relieved when you found out. If the detective figures it out, I won’t mind a bit.”

“I don’t agree. We have to make sure that nothing reinforces what he saw.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult now that I’m out. There’s no reason why I should see him very often. Although, I guess that doesn’t apply to you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jackie turned slightly red.

“Don’t get so defensive. I’m not implying anything” She paused a minute, gauging Jackie’s reaction. “Wait a minute you’re not attracted to him are you?” She looked Jackie in the eyes. “You are! Well, that’s unexpected. ”

“I’m not attracted to him.” She protested. “I’m a married woman with a young child for crying out loud. He’s not even my type. He’s too young anyway.”

Johanna laughed, “You so are.”

Jackie face got redder yet, “He is kind of cute. Don’t you think?”

Johanna nodded, “A total hottie!”

Jackie was enjoying the sudden turn in the conversation. “What an excuse. We both know there wasn’t any kidnapping but you can tell him what you choose. You could string him along for months!”

“Years!” Jackie laughed.

“You’re bad.”

“But really, we have to be more careful for Jay’s sake.”

“For you too, we don’t want the Detective to find out there wasn’t a kidnapping.”

“Right, what do you think he’d do?”

“Probably use it to get you to go to bed with him.” Johanna teased.

“What…ah…really! You don’t really think he’s that kind of guy, do you? That desperate, that hard-up?”

“Naah! Just playing with you, but still, I do believe he could use it to get closer to you. He might let you decide how close.”

Jackie smiled wryly as she stared away, “That sounds tempting. But we’ll all be better off if we never go there. Let’s try and make sure the secret stays with us.”

“You’ll have no more problems with me.”

“Good.” She pulled into her driveway. “Let’s get you set up. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of days, probably after the weekend.”

“I’ll sleep anywhere. It really doesn’t matter. After the last month anything will be like the Ritz. Does your husband know I’m staying?”

“Oh, Joey’s okay with anything as long as it doesn’t affect him. I could put a homeless shelter in the basement and he wouldn’t bat an eye.”

“How about a detective in his bed?”

Jackie realized she had to establish limits, “Will you drop that! Nothing’s going to happen. I don’t need the complications.”

“Okay, I’ll drop it. Sorry, I thought you were all right with that.”

“Johanna you don’t know me. You may never know me. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn’t mind. But we’re in my home now and I don’t talk of such things in my house.”

“Okay, I said I’ll drop it.” She waited a moment then changed the subject. “So show me where I’m sleeping.”

“It’s right down the stairs. The sofa pulls into a sleeper. I’ll get you the sheets and pillow.”

“I’m going to need to go to my house for awhile. You know to check up on things and get some stuff together for the next few days.”

“Sure. Do you want to do it now?”

“Okay.”

“Boys, we’re going over to Johanna’s house. Come on get in the car.”

“Yay! I can show you my room and my toys.” Jay chimed in.

The boys took off for the car. “They’ve been inseparable since Jay’s been here. I don’t know what they’re going to do when Jay moves out.”

“I’m sure they’ll get used to it.” Johanna stated coldly. “They don’t have a choice anyway.”

“They can still get together for play dates.” Jackie offered.

“Sure once we’re settled in and everything’s back to normal. They can get together once in awhile.”

The women rode in silence in the front seat, the boys wouldn’t shut up in the back.

“In my room I have tons of toys.” Jay said excitedly.

“I can’t wait!” Robbie answered.

The women shared the same thought sarcastically. Jackie glanced over at Johanna catching her eye. Breaking the tension, Johanna mouthed I can’t wait. They couldn’t help but smile.

When they pulled in front of Johanna’s it was obvious the house was a shambles. Someone had broken the rear windows and trashed the place. They didn’t take much but they destroyed pretty much everything. Johanna had gone ahead. Jackie had remained in the car with the boys.

She knew then and there that she would have to stay here a while to get the house in order. She decided to give Jackie a call even though she was just outside.

The William Tell Overture sounded below the dash. “I have to change that ring tone.” Jackie vowed.

“Hello.”

“It’s me, Johanna. I’m calling from inside.”

“What, is something wrong?”

“The house is a mess, someone broke in.”

Jackie hadn’t even considered this possibility, “Did you call the police?”

“No, I’ve had enough of them besides it doesn’t appear anything of real value is gone. It’s just that everything has been tossed around. Would you mind terribly telling Jay that mommy’s going to stay here a while.”

“How do you want me to tell him?” Jackie was upset at the prospect of Jay’s possible reaction.

“Make something up, use your imagination. I’m sure you’ll say the right thing.”

“Okay, when should I pick you up?”

“I’ll give you call. Will that be okay?” Johanna questioned.

“Uh sure, see you later than.”

“Later.”

As she placed the phone in her bag she searched her mind for what to tell Jay. “Jay, that was your mom. She asked me to take you home for awhile. She’ll join us later.”

“Why?”

“She’s looking for your favorite toys and she can’t find them.”

He was out the car door and running up the walkway before she could stop him.

“Jay come back.” but he had disappeared inside the front door before she could stop him.

“Too late, I guess. Robbie come with me, we got to collect Jay.” Robbie was right behind her.

They got inside just in time to witness the room by room transformation. Jay was in the house and the house was as it was in his mind.

“Good thing we didn’t call the police.” Jackie mumbled. She was becoming all too used to Jay’s reality.

Changes

Chapter 14

 

“Mom, I’ll be back later.”

 

“Okay honey, but be careful.”

 

The young man appeared to be about sixteen, tall, slender, good-looking. His mother looked surprisingly young. She couldn’t have been more than twenty-eight but that would have made her twelve when the boy was born.

 

“I will Mom.” he opened the door. She gave him a mom look.

 

“I love you mom.”

 

“Love you too.” she replied.

 

He was headed to the mall. “How are you getting there?” his mother asked.

 

“Brian’s older brother, Eddie, got the car. He’s gonna pick me up.”

 

Just then a horn sounded.

 

“He’s outside, gotta go!”

 

Jay ran out the door and hopped in the back of the Civic. All Johanna could do is watch as the car disappeared down the street.

 

Inside the car’s cramped confines the boys’ gave their minimalist greetings. “Hey.” Brian grunted.

 

“Hey.” Jay replied.

 

Jay settled in the backseat. He didn’t even notice the boom emanating an inch from his ear.

 

“Did you see Robbie?”

 

“Nyah, he can’t get out tonight. He got to stay at his father’s and he insists on them doing stuff together.”

 

They cruised along the boulevard.  Occasionally, they let out a whoop if they saw a hot looking girl walking alongside.  Well, actually not that hot.  Honestly, the major criteria were that she was female and ambulatory.

“Check this one out! Oh my God! She’s amazing! Let’s get a look at her face.” Silence as they moved past the almost mandatory butter face, generally attached to a young firm body. “What do you say Jay?”

 

Jay hadn’t been paying much attention. He saw her from behind all right but hadn’t really focused on her face. He glanced over. “Charlize Theron.”

 

Sure enough that’s what she now looked like, albeit like her movie image.

 

“Cool!” Danny, the guy next to Jay exclaimed.

 

Brian pivoted towards the back seat. “What did I tell you? Strange thing happens when Jay’s on board.”

 

Jay had heard this before but still didn’t quite get what they meant. “She’s a beautiful girl, what’s strange about that?”

 

“Nothing, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a beautiful girl.” The guys shared the joke. Jay joined them even though he wasn’t quite in on it.

 

“Maybe she’d like to join us. There’s room for one more.” Jay proffered.

 

“Sure.” Brian rolled down the window. “Hey!” the young woman picked her head up a bit, surprised by the interest.

 

“Yes?” her tone just a bit defensive.

 

“We’re going to the mall to hang out. You want to come?”

 

“What?” she blushed shyly. “I don’t know?”

 

“Ah c’mon, what were you going to do?”

 

“Hangout I guess?”

 

“Wouldn’t you rather do it with us?”

She hesitated a moment. She was not used to positive attention. Part of her was afraid they were messing with her but that wasn’t the part that answered, “Yes.” She hopped in the back next to Jay.

 

 

Chapter 15

 

Jay was depressed. He saw the world in grays so everyone had to pack an umbrella. He was determined to find Amy. How hard could it be? She went to his school. She was beautiful. But then again, he had never noticed her before. ‘No, think positive. You’ll find her or you’ll find the car. After all, her sister works down the road from the mall.’

 

Jay didn’t want to go to school the next morning. He burrowed his head under the pillow but to no avail. His mom was in the doorway, gently urging him to get moving, at least at first. She gave him a few minutes and then started yelling for him to get a move on. Reluctantly, he sat up, got out of bed and drowsily padded down the hall to the bathroom, absently scratching his ass.

 

“Jay!”

 

“Okay, I’m up!” He yelled back.

 

“Don’t forget to take back the permission slip.”

 

“Is it in my backpack?”

 

“Did you put it in there?” his mother asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“If you put it in there than it should be there, it’s important, it’s due today.”

 

“Okay.”

 

She took his backpack and went through it.

 

“Ma, don’t be going through my stuff. I’m not a baby.”

 

“If you took care of things I wouldn’t need to look.” She searched awhile longer. “It isn’t in here.”

 

Jay grabbed the backpack back from her. “I know it’s in here. Yes! I put it in my history book. Here it is.” he stated triumphantly as he held it aloft. “Just like I said, see mom, I’m not a baby. I took care of it.”

 

“That’s good honey.” she said resignedly as she kissed him out the door. “Better hurry, the bus will leave without you.”

 

“But I got five minutes.”

 

She knew from experience that no matter what time it really was, if Jay thought he had five minutes, he had five minutes.

 

“Don’t dawdle after school. Remember, you have to go to the dentist.”

 

“But me and the guys were going to go out and cruise the neighborhood.”

 

“You have a dental appointment at three-thirty. Be there on time or your cruising days are over.”

 

“Okay, I’ll be there.” he said with finality.

 

As she turned from the door she caught sight of the “missing” permission slip. She took the piece of paper off the refrigerator, ripped it into little pieces and threw it away. “In his backpack, right.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16

 

Jay was determined to find Amy. He decided to cut class to speed up his search. Several times he thought he saw her but although the girls looked just like her they were invariably someone else.

 

“God, Amy must have a lot of cousins.” he muttered after the last of several polite corrections.

 

A voice behind him startled him. “Mr. Noll, shouldn’t you be in class.” Ms. O’Riordan, his math teacher, stated firmly.

 

“Uh, no, Ms. O’Riordan I have a free period.”

 

“That’s funny, I could have sworn you should be in my class.”

 

“Oh… wait a minute, what time is it?”

 

“It’s ten-thirty.”

 

“You’re right! Good thing I ran into you or I would have missed it.”

 

“We better get moving.” She paused a minute then asked, “Jay have you been in class at all today?” He started to answer but she spoke first, “Before you say anything just tell me the truth because…”

 

Her bluff worked. “No, I haven’t.” He hung his head down.

 

“That’s not like you Jay. Could you tell me why?”

 

He hesitated for a moment. He liked Ms. O’Riordan, truth be told he had a crush on her. “I met this girl last night and I didn’t get her full name or phone number, anything. . . And I may have said or did something to upset her and I want to tell her I’m sorry.”

 

She looked at him like he was a lost puppy. He didn’t see it. “She looks like you, only you know, she’s my age.” he added. He was telling the truth but he also hoped it would get him over.

 

“Okay, get to class. I’ll see what I can do about the other cuts.” He started to walk away. “What was her name?”

 

“Amy!”

 

“I’ll see if I can find any Amys that look like me at you know, your age.”

 

“Thanks Ms. O, you’re the best!”

 

“Hormones!” She smiled as she briefly revisited the roller coaster of adolescence. “Talk about your dangerous drugs. Kids shouldn’t be allowed near them.” She clip-clopped down the hallway, then turned the doorknob to her classroom. “Now to face a raging sea of them.”

 

***

 

After class true to her word, Ms. O’Riordan checked for any girls named Amy in the student body. There were four all together, two in the sophomore class. None had the remotest resemblance to her, at least from the pictures on file. She decided it was safe to give Jay their last name. She debated giving out their homerooms and then decided that was better than having him roaming the halls. Beyond that she would be enabling him to stalk the young woman. Any more info was out of the question. Besides, who knew if any of them would prove to be the right one? She figured she’d tell him after class. She had forgotten about the relentlessness of youth.

 

“So did you find her?” The voice grew coming breathless down the hall.

 

“Slow down Jay. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Sorry Ms. O’Riordan.” he waited a second then asked, “Well did you?”

 

“I found four girls in the student body named Amy. But before I give you anything you have to promise me you won’t harass her. If you find her and she tells you she’s not interested, you’ll leave her alone.”

 

“Sure,” he tossed off without a moment’s reflection, “so what’s their names?”

“Jay, I’m serious. I could get in a lot of trouble if I set you on the young woman and you wound up harassing her.”

 

“I swear, she says no and I’m gone, never to bother her again. Unless we wind up in the same class and we like get an assignment or something together, you know? That’s all right, right?”

 

“Yes Jay that would be fine. I just mean I don’t want you stalking her. You know…”

 

“Creeping her out?”

 

“Right! Exactly! I don’t want you creeping her out.”

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I have too much respect for her. I would never do that to her.”

 

Ms. O’Riordan sighed. “And how long did you see her.”

 

“Counting the car ride?”

 

“Yes, counting the car ride.” she answered.

 

“About forty-five minutes, maybe an hour.”

 

“And you have too much. . . ? Never mind. Okay, here’s the last names.” If only someone in her target audience had the same passion.

 

He grabbed a pen. “Okay.”

 

“Harris.”

“Harris.” he noted.

 

“Schwartz.”

 

“Schwartz.” he repeated.

 

“Gangemi.”

 

“Ganjemi, is that with a j?”

 

“G-A-N-G-E-M-I”

 

“G-A-N-G-E-M-I, got it.” he repeated.

 

“And finally Murphy, the last two are sophomores.”

 

“Do you have their addresses?”

 

“Jay, didn’t you hear me before. The best I can do is their homerooms. I’ll give you the sophomores first and if they aren’t your Amy, I’ll give you the other two.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Gangemi is 2B and Murphy is in 2F.”

 

“Well I know it’s not Murphy.”

 

“Oh you do?”

 

“Yeah, I’m in 2F and there’s nobody who looks like my Amy.”

 

“I guess you’ll start with Amy Gangemi then.”

“Yeah, thanks teach.” He was already moving. “Did I ever tell you, you’re my favorite teacher?”

 

“Yes, several times” she shouted after him laughing.

 

“You’re my favorite teacher!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “Ms.O’Riordan is the best teacher at Brookdale!”

 

She blushed as heads poked from the classroom doors. Principal Giordano made an appearance. “In the future could you tell your fan club to keep it down.”

 

“Yes sir, I will.” she said in heightened embarrassment.

 

He ducked back in his office closing his door behind him.

 

“Yeah Denise, you’re making the rest of us feel bad.”

 

“Stop it Carole. I can’t help it if my students think I’m cool.”

 

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. “Carole said in an exaggerated tone, and then broke up in laughter.

 

“You.” Denise made a feint towards Carole who jumped back in her classroom closing the door behind her.

 

Ms. O’Riordan was suddenly alone in the hall. “Denise, what have you done.” she whispered almost prayer like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17

 

Jay wasted no time hunting down Amy Gangemi. He was able to track her to Miss Fischer’s class, through a variety of friends and acquaintances. He raced from his English class to meet her class as it exited. He didn’t see his Amy so he asked one of the last to leave, a short, cute, curly haired girl. “Anyone else in there?”

 

“No, not now anyway.” as the remnants passed by.

 

“Is anyone out today?”

 

“Not that I know. Who are you looking for?”

 

“Amy Gangemi.” he said.

 

“That’s me?” she said questioningly, “What do you want with me? Do I know you?”

 

“I’m sorry. I thought you might be the girl I met last night. Her name is Amy and she goes to school here.”

 

“Well obviously it wasn’t me. There is another Amy I know of. . .”

“Murphy?”

 

“Right, Murphy. So you already checked her out?”

 

“She’s in my homeroom. It wasn’t her.”

 

“What does she look like?” She asked.

 

“About five feet, nine, beautiful, light brown hair, blue eyes, great body.”

 

“Amy Murphy basically fits that description except…”

 

“She isn’t beautiful.”

 

“I was going to say except you say it isn’t her. God, guys can be so nasty.”

 

“I’m sorry that didn’t come out right. The girl at the mall was drop dead gorgeous. The Amy Murphy I remember, well she’s rather average. It’s just by comparison she falls short. I’m sure she’s very nice.”

 

“You ever talk to her?”

 

“Uh, no.”

 

“Would you ever talk to her?”

 

“Um, sure.”

 

She gave him a hard look. “Really?”

 

“Probably not.” he said suddenly ashamed at his shallowness.

 

She let him off the hook. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re a guy. You can’t help being that way.”

 

“Thanks a lot.” She giggled at his discomfort.

 

“You’re right though, I can’t really say I’ve ever really noticed the Amy under my nose. I’ll try to be better.”

 

“You do that!” They lingered awkwardly in the hall way. She spoke first. “I really got to get going, is there’s nothing else?”

 

“No. Thanks, I’ll see you around. It’s been nice talking to you.”

 

“Same here.” She smiled both hands clutching her textbook at an angle under her chest. She turned and walked down the hall.

 

‘Amy Gangemi. Well, if I don’t find the other Amy… well, maybe even if I do.’

 

He checked back with Ms. O’Riordan and she gave him the remaining two names. They were both upperclassmen. He felt awkward even approaching them. He was sure Amy was younger.

 

Instead, he hunted up a yearbook in the library. It didn’t take him long to find the other Amy’s. There was no need to check further. They weren’t her. Either Amy lied to him and she didn’t go to school here or Amy Murphy was a flower that had just opened.

 

Jay reflected on his disappointment, ‘You know what, to hell with her. She’s the one who ran away anyway.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 18

 

“I can’t go to school like this ma.”

 

“What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong with you. I never heard of a girl staying home from school because she got pretty.”

 

“You don’t understand! If I go to school, I might become ugly again.”

 

“You weren’t ugly. You were going through an awkward stage.”

 

“Mom!” she said in exasperation. But she could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant what she said. Her daughter had become beautiful as she should be, as she always was.

 

“Amy!” her sister whispered from the bedroom. Her face said she’d take care of it.

 

“Oh, okay mom, I’ve just got to get ready.”

 

“You’ve missed the bus.”

 

“I’ll take her mom.” Patti called out.

“Isn’t that out of your way?”

 

“No, I have to go that way today anyway.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’ve got to. . . Hey, I’m doing Amy a favor, okay?”

 

“Okay! Okay! You girls!”

 

Patti pushed Amy through the door and closed it behind them. “We’ve got to ugly you up, don’t we?” Amy smiled. “It isn’t going to be easy. Let’s see, glasses, no makeup, and hair falling over your face. Let’s grease it up. Okay, maybe I should paint on some zits. Baggy pants, poorly fitting blouse, fake tattoos? No that would be too much.” She stepped back to admire her handiwork.

 

“Damn, what did he do to you?”

 

“What?”

 

“You still look good! Frigging adorable. Maybe if I just blacked out a tooth. We might need sunglasses; your eyes are too pretty, a hat, the Cousin It look, ah there.”

 

Amy looked in the mirror. She looked ridiculous. But still she could use this as a base to get to her true look, over time, hopefully, not over too much time.

 

“Are you ready sis?”

 

“As I’ll ever be.” Amy answered.

 

“Here’s to the first day of the rest of your life.”

 

“It isn’t too late to stay home a couple of weeks and claim I had plastic surgery, is it?” she asked hopefully.

 

“Good idea, but mom already left for work. The geek route is the only way.”

 

She hopped out of the car and started walking. “Remember scrunch yourself up, bad posture is part of the effect.”

 

She was positively Quasimodo. All she needed was a cloven foot and she’d approach hideous.

 

She made it to homeroom a few seconds late but close enough. But for the first time everyone noticed her. Fortunately, no one seemed to remember her name.

 

“Isn’t that, that Amy chick?” Robbie mumbled to Jay. “The one you’ve been asking about.”

 

“I’m looking for an Amy, not that Amy.” Jay answered.

 

“Man, she’s nasty. I would have given you major shit if she were it.”

 

“Class, calm down, Ms. Murphy, so nice of you to join us, may I ask what’s the occasion?”

 

“Excuse me ma’am?” she said softly.

 

Ms. Carter caught herself. Amy was a good student, if a little shy. This was atypical. “Never mind, I hope you’re feeling better.”

 

“Yes, I am thank you.”

 

“I hope she’s not contagious. I don’t want what made her look like that.” Bakim shouted out.

 

“Bakim be quiet or I’ll send you downstairs. Okay class, we were discussing nineteenth century romanticism.”

 

Jay found himself staring at Amy despite her outrageous appearance. ‘Something says she’s the one. Nyah! That’s impossible, look at her. She looks like she eats her boogers for crying out loud.’ No way, someone as beautiful as the Amy he met at the mall could look like the Amy he saw right now.

 

Every once in awhile he caught Amy looking at him, each time she quickly dropped her head. ‘It’s almost as if she’s hiding something.’ He heard Bakim’s voice inside his head say, “Yeah, her face.”

 

The bell sounded and they were in the hallway. He found himself letting her go ahead.

 

“Thank you.” she whispered. It was Amy’s voice but before he could say anything she was lost in the crowd. There was something going on but damned if he could figure it out.

 

Amy spent the rest of the day being ridiculed and giggled at.

At lunch, she had been the prey of the day for a bunch of particularly annoying adolescents.

 

“Hey, Cousin It, what’s with the hair? C’mon show us your face. How bad could it be?”

 

Amy struggled on against the insults. Some of them began flicking food at her. “Yeah, we want to see your face!”

 

It was building. Finally, one jumped up and grabbed her hat. She attempted to get it back but quickly decided it would be better to just wait it out. They would get tired of her if she didn’t react.

 

But they weren’t finished. One of them threw an empty tray at her feet. She slipped and the contents of her tray sprayed all over her face. She landed face down on all fours.

 

“Knock it off you guys. What the hell did she do to you?” Jay intervened.

 

“Oh, Jay’s going to help the poor pathetic girl.”

 

He shot them a look and then he went to help their victim. “Are you all right? Let me give you a hand.” He bent down to help.

 

“Amy? It was you! I thought it was but you. . .”

 

She brushed his hand away. “Thank you. I’m fine. I gotta go. Thank you.” She ran off.

 

“You forgot your. . .” She had left her history text. He opened it, name, address, even her phone number neatly printed on the inside leaf.

 

“I’ll get it to you later.” He smiled after her. He knew she couldn’t hear him.

 

“Dude, what are you doing?”

 

“I found her!”

 

“Who?” Brian had been sitting with Jay when he jumped up to help.

 

“Amy!”

 

“That skank you were talking to?”

 

“You didn’t see her!” Jay said adamantly.

 

“Dude, she was hideous. What are you on?”

 

Jay looked hurt but he was heading to anger.

 

Brian cut that off. “Whatever, so I’ll meet you after school?”

 

“Why?”

 

“To help you find her.”

 

Jay smiled as they knocked fists. “Okay!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 19

 

Amy hadn’t expected to be “unveiled” so soon. She had hoped to transform herself slowly over the next few weeks until she thought it was acceptable to reveal her new self. Now thanks to the goons in the cafeteria, she would have to accelerate the process. Still, the main obstacle had been passed. Jay had seen her and she was happy. ‘To him this is who I really am. I guess that means this is who I am, that certainly makes it a bit easier.’

 

She was at her locker putting her books away. “Oh damn, where’s my history book?” She thought back. ‘I must have dropped it in the cafeteria.’

 

She ran back to look. It was pretty empty by this point. Only the janitors were left. She could see where she had fallen but didn’t readily catch sight of her book.

 

“You can’t come in here young lady.” the large black janitor named Sarge said firmly.

 

“Did you find a book here?”

 

“We find books all the time. They’re all over my office in the basement. What is it fiction, non-fiction, biography. . . ?”

“Textbook, a history text book, did you find it?”

 

“Can’t say that I did, you’re welcome to look in the pile near the door.” He shook his head. “You kids don’t take care of anything.”

 

“Thank you.” She looked around the room. “By the door?” she said pointing.

 

“No, the back door to the basement steps.” She started walking. “Not that way! The floor’s still wet. Go round the back.” He said gesturing fiercely. “You kids have no idea about work but don’t worry you will soon enough. You will soon enough.” He repeated as he went back to mopping, all the time shaking his head and sweating profusely. Amy paid little attention to him. She was focused on the book. It had all her notes in it and she took copious notes.

 

The books were mixed with a collection of jackets, sweaters and other juvenile miscellany. Carefully, she went through the pile. No luck, it wasn’t there.

 

“Is this all you have?” She had returned upstairs to the cafeteria.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Is this everything for the day?”

 

“I’m afraid so.”

 

She started to walk toward him, as he was mouthing the word no. She stopped on tippy-toe. “Sorry.”

 

“That’s all right, it’s probably dry anyway.”

 

She skipped past him, “Thank you.”

 

“Any time.”

 

He paused and leaned on his mop to watch her leave “What a nice girl.” A slight smile touched his otherwise stony face.

 

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. Occasional catcalls but nothing untoward. She lost the glasses and the hat. The transition was already beginning. She was bouncing down the front stairs when a familiar voice startled her, “How’d it go?”

 

She was happy to see her sister. “Pretty much as I expected.”

 

“That bad huh?”

 

“I even lost my history book. But Jay noticed me!” she breathed.

 

“The world didn’t end then?”

 

“No. I was what he expected. He met me this way. . . I guess.”

 

“That’s great! So you can start to lose the look.” Patti encouraged.

 

“As you can see, already underway, by next week I’ll be the new me.”

 

“Are you ready?”

 

“What’s so hard?” Amy questioned.

 

“You’ve never been beautiful before. It comes with a lot of baggage.”

 

“That’s what I’m hoping.”

 

“It’s not all good.” Patti attempted sage advice.

 

“You don’t seem to have any problems.”

 

“I wish. No really, there’s a downside.”

 

“Like what? Guys noticing you? Girls being jealous of you? What outfit to wear? What hairstyle? Who to ignore? Who to pay attention to?”

 

“No, the biggest thing is you’re never sure who’s dealing with you as a person and who’s treating you as an object.”

 

“B-i-i-i-g problem.” Amy said, rolling her eyes sarcastically.

 

“It is!” she bit her lip then calmly said, “You’ll just have to find out.”

 

“I’m looking forward to it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 20

She was home a whole twenty minutes when the doorbell rang.

 

“Amy, it’s for you.”

 

She bounced down the stairs, “Okay mom.” she froze when she got to the bottom and saw Jay standing there.

 

“What are you…? How did you find me?”

 

“It was written in the book. I believe this is yours.” He extended the history textbook to her.

 

“Thank you.” She hung her head. “It could have waited till Monday.”

 

“Or I could have turned it in to lost and found. But I really wanted to see you again.”

 

“You see me every day. Why this sudden urgency?”

 

“Because I finally got to know you, I thought we hit it off but you left and I want to know what I did wrong.”

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She noticed her mother was still standing there. “Mom, could you excuse us.”

 

“Sure dear.” She turned to go to the kitchen. “Why don’t the two of you go into the living room and sit down. Can I get you anything… I didn’t catch your name.”

 

“Jay Noll, and no ma’am, nothing for me.”

 

“Well Jay, I’m Frieda, Amy’s mom. You don’t know how happy it makes me to meet one of Amy’s friends.” she said smiling absently.

 

“Mother, could you excuse us?”

 

“Okay honey.”

 

“Patti, did you see the young man who came to see Amy? Wow!” she said as she entered the kitchen.

 

“Ma!” Patti grabbed her by the arm. “For Pete’s sake, you’re embarrassing her.”

 

“You’re right.” Frieda couldn’t stop smiling. Something about mothers and reflected beauty.

 

“Besides, if you keep quiet we’ll be able to listen in.” The two giggled conspiratorially. Back in the living room there was an awkward silence. Finally, Amy broke it, “So you were saying?”

 

“I believe you said I didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“That’s right you didn’t.”

 

“So why did you disappear? Why have you been avoiding me?”

 

She realized she had to be careful how she put it. “I’ve been going through some pretty major changes lately. I just realized I wasn’t really comfortable getting close to you. I shouldn’t have run and hid but I’m not quite the same person anymore and I’m just learning how to deal with it.” ‘Good job’, she thought, ‘and I didn’t even have to lie.’

 

“Oh, is there any chance you’ll change your mind?”

 

“I think it’ll take me a while to adjust. So I don’t think. . .”

 

Just then her mother entered the room. “Here’s some chips and soda.” she announced. “Let me put the table closer to you.” Amy was extremely uncomfortable. With her mother you never knew what to expect.

 

Frieda gushed, “You two look so cute together. Stay still, I still have a few pictures left in the cardboard camera.” Before Amy could say anything she had returned and was posing the shot.

 

“Amy move closer to Jay. Jay put your arm around her. Don’t make a face Amy, just do it and I’ll be out of your hair.”

 

Click. “Did the flash go off?” Let me take another one to be sure. Why don’t you stand over by the end table?”

 

Reluctantly, they moved as she relentlessly instructed them on how to pose. “Oh my, you’re even the right size for each other. I like when a couple is proportional. Don’t you Jay?”

 

“Umm yeah.”

 

Amy had had enough. “But we’re not a couple mom!” she protested.

 

She was undeterred, “You look like a couple to me. So Jay, where are you taking her? Amy here’s a few dollars just in case.”

 

She shoved some money in her hand, put her hands in the small of their backs, led them to the door and pushed them outside.

 

“Have fun you two! Don’t stay out too late.” She practically slammed the door behind them.

 

 

Frieda rubbed her hands together with her back to the door. “Not a couple! Did you ever hear such rubbish?”

 

“Mom you’re impossible.” Patti replied “but still I’m actually glad you forced things.”

 

Outside the two didn’t know what hit them. They both spoke at once. “I’m sorry.”

 

Simultaneously, they dropped their heads, embarrassed. Then Jay spoke, “Do you think she’ll let you back in?”

 

Amy laughed, “Maybe in a couple of hours.”

 

“So then, is there anything you want to do?”

 

“No, that’s all right.”

 

“Really, where do you want to go? You have to go somewhere.” Then he whispered, “She’s peeking through the blinds.”

 

Amy laughed, “You’re probably right.”

 

“I know you haven’t eaten yet, any preferences?”

 

“There’s this veggie place.”

 

“Aw Christ, you’re not one of them?” Jay was disappointed.

 

“No, I’m just trying to fix my new persona. Actually, I’m a fry type of girl.”

 

“Much better, want to go to Holstens? They have great burgers.”

 

“Okay. Is it far?”

 

“Five, six blocks tops, an easy walk, you do walk? It doesn’t conflict with your new persona?” Jay teased.

 

“Yes, I walk. Besides, what’s wrong with my old persona anyway?”

 

She fell into him, then straightened herself out. She was happy. ‘Damn you mom for forcing me to do what I wanted to do anyway.’ She smiled to herself.

 

Ice cream, a movie then some plain old fashioned hanging out, they had made an evening of it. They agreed on one thing. They liked each other. Amy saw a wedding dress, a house, kids, the whole teenage romantic fantasy.

 

In his unique way Jay saw the same thing. This became really uncomfortable when Amy found herself in a wedding gown when she exited the bathroom. ‘It’s like an episode of Bewitched only Samantha doesn’t know she’s wrinkling her nose.’ she thought. Fortunately, these particular visions didn’t last long. Jay chalked them off to fantasy, especially fortunate since Amy was pregnant, really pregnant. Nobody seemed to notice or at least they didn’t acknowledge it. Although, she was sure a few people may have given up or taken up drinking as a result of this change.

 

“You look good!” he said eyeing her up and down.

 

“Thank you.” she said slightly uncomfortable and continued hustling to the stairs.

 

“You look happy.” Instantly she softened, drawing herself up and smiling broadly.

 

“Thanks.” Now she wanted to linger but she had already begun her escape. She turned sideways holding the door as long as she could to make the moment last. As he lost sight of her he turned and started walking. He smiled finally realizing what had happened. ‘I wish I’d known that when I was single.’ He thought with mock irony. Telling a girl she looked happy. The ultimate line, especially if you meant it. He realized what the heck! “Amy wait up!” He caught up with her slightly out of breath. “I can’t let you walk home alone.”

 

They walked slowly trying to make the night longer. He escorted her to her door then risked a kiss goodnight. He met with active acceptance as they entered into a game of one-upsmanship. Finally, Frieda opened the door. “Oh, you two, I thought someone was trying to break in.”

 

An awkward moment followed, “Never mind me. You two say your good nights. I’ll be in the kitchen making myself a cup of tea.” She turned away then back. “Would you…”

 

Amy gave her a look that shut that down. “Never mind.”

 

It was a few minutes before they felt comfortable enough to pick up where they left off. But try as they might they realized that moment had passed.

 

“There’ll be other nights.” Jay assured her.

 

“But only one first night.” Amy replied.

 

“Well, there’ll be only one second,” he countered.

 

“Only one third,” she teased.

 

“Only one fourth,” they started laughing.

 

“So I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” Jay stated the hanging obvious.

 

“I suppose.” She became Mona Lisa like.

 

“You like me.”

 

She burst a giggle and punched him in the arm. “I guess?”

 

“You like me.” Jay pushed.

 

“Maybe.” She countered coquettishly.

 

“Maybe!” She pummeled him as he backed off the stoop.

 

“Don’t be so rough. You’re a big girl”

 

“Are you saying I’m fat?” she said with mock anger as she continued her assault.

 

“No! No!” He pleaded with obvious concern. They grew quiet. “I think you’re perfect.”

 

They looked deeply into each other. He lightly stroked the side of her face with his fingers. She softly caressed the inside of his arm.

 

“I think I have to go.” he said breaking contact. “I have to get up early tomorrow. I have practice.”

 

She recovered quickly. “It is late. I have some things to take care of in the morning too.”

 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

 

“Sure if you want. What time?” Amy tried in vain to sound nonchalant.

 

“Noon?”

 

“Noon! What, are you going to bed early?”

 

“I don’t know.” he said embarrassedly. “We’ll figure it out.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 21

 

Amy was uneasy. She really loved Jay but she couldn’t help but feel that their relationship was based on a lie. They had seen each other just about every day since they met. If she loved him, she had to tell him. She had to tell him that this was not how she looked. She had to tell him about his powers. He had to know. If that ended things at least she’d know it had all been an illusion.

 

They were meeting for dinner later. She figured she tell him then. They were going to Vinnie’s. A step up, it had tablecloths and waitresses, when you’re seventeen that seems like the height of elegance. Amy was trying to make it special. She had gone on about it being their anniversary. She felt guilty about pressuring him but still it was their anniversary. She thought about it and realized it was the perfect place to tell him. They wouldn’t be likely to be near anyone they know and the tables were far enough apart to provide privacy. ‘There’s no better place, no better time.’ She thought. ‘Now get ready, when I’m through they’ll be no way he’ll break up with me.’

 

Jay arrived promptly at six-thirty. Frieda let him in.

 

“Amy, Jay’s here!”

 

“I’ll be right down. Tell him to wait in the living room.”

 

“You can …” She pointed, he was already there.

 

“Thanks, I heard.”

 

Frieda followed him in. “So how have you been Jay? We haven’t had much of a chance to talk lately. You two have been flying in and out.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Your mom?”

 

“She’s fine too.”

 

“You must be going someplace special tonight. You’re so dressed up.”

 

“Uh thanks. Yeah, Vinnie’s.”

 

“Ready to go?” Amy called from the doorway.

 

“You look great!” Jay momentarily skipped the question.

 

“Thank you sir.”

 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Jay enjoyed her glow.

 

***

 

Vinnie’s had started out as a simple pizzeria but over the years had added a table here and a table there to become a full-blown restaurant. The food was good, the service friendly and the prices reasonable. Amy had been there with her mother many times when she was younger but not in quite some time.

 

“Amy! Is that you! You look so . . . different.” Tony the owner greeted her near the door.

 

“Yes.” Amy answered the question head down, embarrassed.

 

“You look so grown up. How’s your mother? She hasn’t been in for a while.”

 

“Mom’s doing well.”

 

“Your sister?”

 

“She’s working.”

 

“She is! That’s great.”

 

“What does she do?”

 

“She’s a waitress at a diner.”

 

A hurt look crossed his face. “Why didn’t she come to me? I always need waitresses. She’s a nice girl. I would have hired her. You let her know if she ever needs a new job come see me first.”

 

“Okay, I’ll tell her.”

 

“So, who’s your young friend?”

 

She drew a blank.

 

“Jay.” Jay stuck his hand out.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Amy intoned.

 

“Forgot my name already.” Jay snickered.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Amy fretted. What a time to do this considering what was to follow. ‘Did I forget his name on purpose? Maybe I’m getting myself ready for his reaction. That’s it; I’m not going to tell.’ she thought.

 

They arrived at the table. Jay grabbed the inside seat. Tony pulled out Amy’s chair.

 

“At least someone knows how to treat a lady.” Amy teased. Jay stood up, stopping halfway when he saw her smile. He realized she was cranking him.

 

“What’s good?” he asked. He was past hungry.

 

“Just about everything, it depends on what you like.”

 

“You order first. I’ll keep looking.”

 

They spent the meal in banal conversation, nice weather, history class, music, blah, blah, blah. All the while Amy drank Jay in. She had reestablished her resolve. She would tell him. She just wanted to treasure these last precious moments before.

 

“You’re not yourself, what’s wrong.” He sensed her unease.

 

“Nothing.” She wasn’t convincing.

 

“No, really, tell me.”

 

“It’s nothing. I’m just a little tired.”

 

“You sure? You look sad.”

 

She decided it was time. “Jay. I’m not what I appear to be.”

 

“What do you mean? You appear to be a girl, a beautiful girl.” He laughed nervously.

 

“Well, I’m definitely a girl but far from beautiful.”

 

“What are you talking about? You’re gorgeous! You’re the best-looking girl in school! Hell, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen!”

 

“To you!”

 

“To everybody, ask anybody.” Jay declared vehemently.

 

“Okay then, because of you!”

 

“What does that mean?” he was confused. He couldn’t imagine where she was going with this.

 

“It’s because of the way you see me that I’m beautiful. I wasn’t beautiful before you saw me.”

“Don’t talk crazy. You were always beautiful. You just hid it.”

 

“I’d like to believe that but until the night you and your friends picked me up, I was just plain, just plain ugly. Even my own mother thought so. Think about it. I was in your homeroom for three months before that and you didn’t even notice me. If I was this beautiful would I have been able to hide it that well?”

 

He paused for a moment. “It’s true I didn’t notice you but that’s me. I never notice anything until it smacks me in the face. I mean the way you’re saying you weren’t beautiful until I saw you. Are you implying I had something to do with it?”

 

She could see he was struggling with this. She made it swift. “Yes, you have everything to do with it. You have a gift. The way you see things, is the way they become, exactly the way they become.”

 

Jay tried reason. “Let’s just say if that’s the case, if I had that gift that kind of power, couldn’t I change the world to my liking? Wouldn’t I do it!?”

 

“I don’t pretend to know how it works. I only know that it does.”

 

“This is crazy. If I had this, this “gift”, wouldn’t someone have noticed by now? Told me by now? My mom? My friends?”

 

“I don’t know why they wouldn’t tell you. But I know, at least some of your friends knew.”

 

“Name one.” he said defiantly.

 

“Brian for one. Remember at the mall when I disappeared.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I had just noticed my change. Brian caught me. He told me what happened. He told me if you realized what I really looked like I would have changed back. I was confused but knew that I didn’t want to go back. So, I called my sister and took off. I stayed home for the same reason. I was trying to figure out some way to transition to the new me. All the while afraid that you would realize who I really was.”

 

“Brian knew?”

 

“Yes. He explained how great it was. How did he put it? Oh yeah, skanks like me with no self-esteem would suddenly be gorgeous. Then he and his friends would swoop in. Ugly chicks are easy, he said. He even went so far as to say I might have been the last bad looking girl left in this part of town.”

 

“That son of a bitch!” he was starting to believe. A lot of questions were beginning to be answered. He was upset. He felt used. He was angry.

 

She glanced behind him in the mirror. She still looked the same, so far, but as his anger grew she noticed that the faces around him began to turn ugly. They began to twist and distort ‘At least they don’t know.’ she thought. Finally, she called out, “Stop it!”

 

Everyone turned towards them, “What?” Jay answered,

 

“Control yourself. These people didn’t do anything!”

 

“I know they didn’t. What do you mean?”

 

“Quick, close your eyes. Now!”

 

He did as she ordered.

 

“Think happy thoughts. Clear the room from your mind.”

 

He started to relax.

 

“Okay, open your eyes, open your mind.”

 

She held her breath. The distortions had eased. She couldn’t be sure if the other patrons had returned to their former look but at least they looked presentable.

 

“What happened?” he asked innocently.

 

“Your anger distorted the faces of every stranger in the place. I mean they were hideous. That is, everyone facing you.”

 

People began to leave. Half were confused. That half had faced him. The other half were in a state of shock, shock leavened with relief.

 

He grabbed his face and covered his eyes. “I can’t believe you but it all makes sense. There were so many strange things always happening around me. People kept away from me. I didn’t know why until now but I always felt it.”

 

Amy took hold of his hands, “I had to tell you. I couldn’t go on any longer without telling you. I love you but I couldn’t build a future based on a lie.”

 

Jay drew back, “I know you did what you think was best but it’s gonna take me awhile to deal with it. It would probably be better if we didn’t see each other for a while.”

 

“No! You need someone to help you through this. You’re right, this is only the beginning. But your gift could be incredibly isolating, especially if you cut me out. Please don’t do that.”

 

“Amy, just give me a couple of days then we can talk.” He got up to leave.

 

Amy looked at him pleadingly, “Please Jay, don’t go. It’s not just that you need me. I need to be there. You’ve made my life more. I can’t imagine being who I was before I met you. Please?”

 

Jay hesitated. “Okay, but I do need to talk to my mom and I’ve got to do that alone. I can’t believe she never told me, prepared me. She had to know, right?”

 

Amy thought for a moment before answering. “That’s between you and her. She loves you. Maybe she couldn’t see it. I know Brian and the guys saw it but your mom? Even if she knew, I’m sure there were very good reasons she didn’t tell you. I mean she never used your power, not like Brian.”

Jay hoped she was right, “No. I don’t think so but we have to go over a lot of ground to be sure. Amy, I’m not going to run away from you but I will need time to revisit my life.”

 

“As long as you don’t cut me out.”

 

“I won’t do that. I promise. Let’s go. I have a lot of thinking to do.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 22

 

 

Brian and the guys were hanging out per normal on a Friday night when they caught sight of Jay and Amy exiting Vinnie’s.

 

“Jay, my man, what’s going on?” Brian said expectantly. Jay glared at him, then charged him, pinning him to the wall.

 

“You son of a bitch! Using me all these years, I thought you were my friend.”

 

“Cool down! What’s the problem guy?”

 

Jay loosened his grip slightly, “You know what I’m talking about.”

 

“I haven’t a clue.” He looked at Amy, “What, did she tell you something?” Jay’s eyes answered yes. “She’s just trying to get between buds. You know how girls are. They can’t stand the competition so they get rid of the friends.”

 

“She told me how you knew about my “gift” and used me to pick up girls, needy girls.”

“Gift? Whoa guy, don’t get delusional. I mean, if anything, you drive girls away not towards. I mean, I’m Brian, I don’t need no help with the ladies. You’ve seen me in action.”

 

Jay released his grip.

 

“Jay he’s lying.” Amy pleaded.

 

“Listen to her man. She’s desperate. That’s a homely girl trapped inside a hot chick’s body.”

 

Jay turned towards Amy and indicated she shouldn’t speak.

 

“Sorry pal. You’re right. I sound crazy. What “gift”? Until I met Amy I never had a girlfriend.”

 

“That’s right guy, you’re suffering from first timer syndrome. Don’t worry, once you get back in the game you’ll see how easy it is.”

 

Jay turned to leave then paused, “Uh Brian?”

 

“Yeah Jay?”

 

“Thanks a lot!”

 

“Don’t mention it guy.”

 

Amy felt lost but in an instant that disappeared.

 

Crack-k-k! Jay exploded a right hand in Brian’s face. He crumpled to the ground.

 

“You’re right. I’m suffering from first-timers’ syndrome!”

 

He took Amy by the arm and led her away. She couldn’t help but look back as they moved forward. “That went well. Don’t you think?” Jay was unfazed.

 

Amy shook her head. “You’re going to have to establish a little control over yourself. For a moment I thought you believed him.”

 

“For a moment I did.”

 

“What changed your mind?”

 

“Your smiling face.”

 

“No, really, he really had me convinced and I know better.”

 

“I believed you all along but he pushed me, finally, over the line with his remark about you.”

 

“What was that?”

 

“You know about the homely girl inside. I thought he was getting a little too cocky. That’s what pissed me off. He was acting like I was an idiot.”

 

“So, you weren’t defending my honor?”

 

“Mine first, then yours.”

 

“Thanks.” she said sarcastically.

 

“If it’ll make you feel better, I would have hit him for you alone. It’s just I really don’t like when someone thinks I’m stupid.”

 

“Okay, so are you finished?”

 

“With Brian? Sure. We’ll see how good he is now without my help.”

 

“What now?”

 

“I’m taking you home first then I have to talk to my mom.”

 

“Are you ready for that? Maybe, you should sleep on it.” Amy was afraid of what might come out of this confrontation.

 

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep, now’s as good a time as any.”

 

They arrived at her door. “See you.” She looked him in the eyes checking his intentions. “Right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll give you a call.” he started to walk away then turned around, “What am I doing? He bounced up the steps, meeting her just as she turned. He grabbed her wrist and kissed her. She didn’t resist. Then just as abruptly he stopped and jumped down the stairs. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

 

“Love you.” she cried out as she caught her breath. She leaned up against the railing and stood there watching him go. “I hope he’s alright.” she said to herself. “This is going to be tough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 23

 

Jay gathered his thoughts as he raced along. When he got close to home, about a block away, he slowed down then stopped altogether. “Maybe Amy’s right, I should wait till morning.” But he knew he couldn’t. Scores of scenarios played around in his head. What if his mother said he was angry? That might actually be easier than having her admit the truth. Finally, he resolved to go inside. His mother was waiting for him. She knew what this was about.

 

“Jay, we have to talk. I have something to tell you.” she said preemptively.

 

He didn’t say a word. He simply assumed a seat opposite.

 

“Jay, you know I love you, don’t you honey.”

 

Jay didn’t answer but she continued anyway.

“It’s been just you and me for so long, at least until lately. Don’t get me wrong, Amy’s a wonderful girl. It’s only that I miss the closeness we’ve always had.”

 

Jay was cold. “It’s getting late, what do you want to tell me?”

“Jay, you know how I’ve always told you that you were special?”

 

There was no reply, not even a hint of acknowledgment from Jay.

 

She continued. “Well, I’m sure you always thought it was mom being a mom. But it’s always been a lot more than that. You’re different Jay. You have a special gift. You see the world differently. Then everyone else sees what you see.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Jay, I don’t think you get the significance. Your vision changes the world.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Jay couldn’t disguise the hostility in his voice.

 

“You need to know. You’re old enough to know.”

 

“But why tonight? Why the sudden urgency?”

 

“It’s been weighing on me. It just struck me that tonight was the night to tell you.”

 

“Right, no one’s told you anything.” Jay replied.

 

He heard a noise from the other room. “Who’s that?” he said as he bounded through the door. He stopped, dumbfounded. “Detective Plant, what are you doing here?”

 

“It’s all right Ted, I’ll tell him. Ted…Detective Plant heard reports of your minor crime wave and putting two and two together we realized what happened.”

 

“That is?”

 

“Amy told you about your difference.”

 

“Spell it out mom. What did she tell me?”

 

“That the world changes to fit what you see. That she was ugly as sin. That some of your friends knew, that I knew.”

 

“You’re wrong about the last part. She said you might have been so clouded by your love that you didn’t notice.”

 

“So, she said I’m stupid. Well, she’s the stupid one. She should have come to me. I would have told you without all this mess.”

 

“When, mom, when?”

 

“I had decided to tell you on your next birthday. I figured you’d be old enough. I didn’t figure on you two getting so close.”

 

“Yeah, like I believe that you were ever going to tell me. Just like you never told me what happened to my father.”

 

She didn’t know what to say. Jay had always been so trusting. She had never had to answer any hard questions.

“I told you what happened to your father. He left us.”

 

“I know that. He’s not here is he? My question is why. Was it me? Did I make him disappear?”

 

“Of course not honey!” Jay wasn’t buying it.

 

“It was me. I can see it in your face. He couldn’t deal with having a freak for a son!” Jay couldn’t disguise his hurt.

 

“He loved you very much!”

 

“Then why haven’t I heard from him. It’s been what, fourteen years? Not a peep. If he loved me I would have heard from him by now. Tell me the truth.”

 

“Okay,” she paused, “I suppose you’re old enough to hear what happened.” She glanced at Detective Plant. He was listening intently.

 

“It’s true. We had been arguing over you. But not about you being a freak, as you said. We were arguing about how to handle your gift. Your father said we needed help. It was too much for us to deal with alone. The night he left we had a huge argument. He said he couldn’t live like this anymore. I knew what he meant but at the time I couldn’t face it. He said he was leaving if we didn’t get help. Then he stormed out. I thought he would cool down, come back, like he usually did. I even thought I heard him walking around in the middle of the night but he never returned and I never heard from him again.” By this point she was staring off, lost in a lonely moment.

 

Jay was incredulous. “He didn’t take anything? You never heard from him? He said he would leave if? Didn’t you ever wonder if anything happened to him? Did you ever check?”

 

Detective Plant spoke, “When I met your mother at the time of Robbie D’Angelo’s kidnapping you were five. Jackie got her to tell me what happened. Jackie already figured things weren’t normal around you. When your mother got out of jail and you changed her and later changed your house. Well, they had to tell me.”

 

Jay ignored the history and simply asked, “Who else knows?”

 

Besides me, Jackie, Brian and his pals and now Amy, no one else knows the whole truth, but a lot more people know strange things happen around you.” His mother answered.

 

“Oh.” Jay, surprisingly, felt a little guilty.

Plant continued. “Getting back to your father, I had the same reaction you did when they told me but I could see how overwhelming your gift would have been.”

 

He paused a moment, “I decided to help quietly, unofficially of course. I’ve been looking ever since. I even backdated a missing person report. Your father disappeared without a trace. There is nothing.”

 

“Nothing?” Jay was disappointed.

 

“Nothing, I’ve used every contact I have, searched every database.”

 

“Do you think he’s dead?” Jay asked hopeful of a negative answer.

 

“You want me to be honest?”

 

“Yes.” Jay knew this wasn’t true.

 

“That’s very unlikely.” Plant answered matter-of-factly pausing to let it sink in before continuing,

“Your father left so many assets behind. Yet, he never attempted to reclaim them. His fingerprints have never matched to another name. I’m still looking but as the years pass it’s looking less likely I’ll ever find him.”

 

Jay hung his head.

 

“I’m sorry Jay. I never knew how to tell you.” Johanna attempted to comfort him.

 

Jay stared straight ahead.

 

“Jay?”

 

He didn’t respond.

 

“I think he’s somewhere else.” Plant offered.

 

The reality had triggered something. Something he couldn’t recall ever seeing before. He was in his crib. He couldn’t have been more than three. He knew this because the old wallpaper was still on the walls. He was drifting in and out of sleep. As the car lights passed and danced on the walls he saw it two ways. First it had a woodland scene, then it had….

 

He ran towards his room. His mother and Plant close behind him.

 

“What, Jay, what?” His mother called after him. But he didn’t answer just ran inside. He began frantically clearing everything away from the wall opposite the window.

 

“What are you doing?” Johanna cried as he continued tossing things aside.

 

He stopped, grabbed her by the shoulders, looked her dead in the eyes then asked, “When did you get this wallpaper.”

 

“What? Are you going crazy?”

 

He grew more intense. “When did you get this wallpaper?” he shouted.

 

“Right after your father disappeared.”

 

He released his grip. She stood still, hopeful she had calmed him.

 

“Did they strip the old paper before they put it up?” He was barely under control.

 

“Yes.” she said reflexively. He looked crestfallen. Without seeing this she changed her answer, “No, I don’t really know. I was upset. I just let them do their job.”

 

“So you don’t know.” he paused, “Was the old wallpaper a kind of woodland scene?”

 

She was surprised. “Why yes, it was. How could you remember that? You couldn’t have been more than three…”

 

He had climbed up on a chair and started gently picking at the top of the wallpaper. Luckily, it was a fabric type and came off easily in full strips.

 

His mother stood by helplessly. She could only offer weakly, “I guess it’s about time you got to pick your own stuff but honey couldn’t this wait until morning?”

 

He didn’t answer. Instead, he methodically continued to remove the paper. Then as he neared the right corner he stopped. He stared intensely for a few moments then gently removed a strip from the middle of the wall.

 

He started sobbing uncontrollably, pressed against the wall then slumped to the floor.

 

“Honey, it’ll be alright.” She cooed as she tried to comfort him.

 

Ted Plant interrupted, “Uh Johanna.” He was looking at the wall.

 

“Ted, not now.”

“Really, Johanna.” Ted was insistent.

 

“Ted, it might be better if you left.”

 

He had to blurt it out, “Is that Jay’s father?” He pointed at the wall.

 

“What are you talking ab…”

 

She managed to get out, “Oh my God.” before she collapsed besides Jay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 24

 

No one had gotten any sleep last night. There he was, large as life, Gary, Jay’s father, her husband. He had never left. He could never leave. He was trapped in the picture. Trapped! How awful! Maybe he didn’t feel anything. Maybe he had slipped into a different state of consciousness. She hoped.

 

She couldn’t help but feel guilty. If she had looked for him, she might have been able to free him. Now, what could they do? Jay had seen him, his existence on paper was now part of Jay’s reality. She couldn’t trick him into seeing him as real. It wouldn’t work. Jay didn’t have that power.

 

‘Poor Jay.’ She kept coming back to it. ‘How is he going to deal with this? Finding out he was different, gifted, was one thing but to find out that you are the reason your father is gone? I wish I knew what to do.’

 

Jay had spent the night huddled at his father’s feet, mumbling over and over. “Daddy, I’m sorry.” He was a mess. He hadn’t slept.

 

She knew she was going to have to move him. He couldn’t stay like this.

Ted, bless him, had stayed all night and was asleep on the couch. She wondered what he made of all this?

 

At least she thought he was asleep. “Hey, what are you staring at?” Ted mumbled without opening his eyes.

 

“Ted, I thought you were asleep. Can I get you anything? Juice? Coffee?”

 

“No, I’ll catch something on the way to work.”

 

“That’s right. I forgot. When do you have to be in?”

 

“Not until 10. I’ve got awhile. Were you up all night?”

 

“I caught a few minutes but yeah I’m pretty exhausted.”

 

“If it’s all right, I’m going to catch a quick shower.”

 

“I was hoping we could talk.”

 

“Sure, why don’t you lie down?” Ted urged as he headed down the hall.

 

“Okay but don’t be afraid to wake me.”

 

“Don’t worry, I will.”

 

***

 

Johanna woke at about three. “Damn it Ted.” she groggily mumbled then ran in to check on Jay only to find him sound asleep on the floor.

 

She gently roused him then walked him over to bed. He started mumbling. “Daddy I didn’t mean to.” He fell back to sleep as soon as he hit the bed.

 

Johanna stared for awhile at the wall. All the emotions of the day Gary “left” came rushing back to her. She felt anger but it was quickly tempered with an overwhelming feeling of loss. “Gary, I missed you!”

 

As she tried to put her arms around his image, she kissed him hard on the mouth bloodying her teeth.

 

“Ow. I have to remember you’re a wall.” She mumbled, giggling, not sure if she was talking to someone. He had been caught as a shadow with basic features revealed. His eyes were open.

 

“There is so much I have to tell you, to share with you.” She thought for a moment. “I guess you’ve gotten to watch Jay grow up. At least what’s gone on in this room.

 

She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. “I was so mad at you. I thought you had just up and left me, left me alone, with our son, our problem, our gift. You don’t know how many times I have called out to curse you for leaving me, how often I fell asleep crying. You always knew what to do. I didn’t always listen but you tended to be right. Now here you are. Heck, you never left and there is not a damn thing you can do to help and not a damn thing I can do to free you.”

 

She stopped, grabbed at his hand and started rubbing on it absently. She continued for awhile then said, “I better be careful, wouldn’t want to wear you out.”

 

She looked at Jay, walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “It’s not your fault honey.” She whispered softly.

 

He scrunched his face and rolled on his side.

 

Once she cleared the room her mind returned to the moment. She abruptly set about straightening up the house. Shortly, she found the note Ted left.

 

“I tried to wake you but it was no use so I decided you needed the sleep. I’ll be back later. Thought it might be better if you and Jay had some time alone with this anyway.”

-Ted-

-

She just finished reading the note when the doorbell rang. As she plodded toward the door she wondered who it could be. She peeked through the living room window. It was Jackie. ‘What was she do… What time is it? Right, we were supposed to meet to go shopping.’ She checked herself in the mirror. The Jay field was still in effect. She opened the door.

 

“Jackie.”

 

“Johanna, you ready to go?”

 

“No Jackie, I can’t”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Something has come up.” Johanna answered evasively.

 

“Anything I can help with?” Jackie knew something was up.

 

“No Jackie, it is something I have to deal with but thanks for the offer.”

 

“Do you need anything from the store?”

 

“Thanks, but no.” Johanna answered.

 

“Ok, but if you need me let me know. You know I’m here for you.”

 

“Don’t worry I’ll be sure to give you a call.”

 

“See ya, I gotta go if I’m going to get back in time.”

 

‘I really should have told her.’ she thought as she closed the door. ‘I am going to need her before this is through.’

 

Just then the bell rang again “Sorry, I forgot I was supposed to pick up that cake dish that I loaned you.”

 

“Right, right it slipped my mind! Give me a minute.”

 

“You don’t mind if I come in, it’s brutal outside.”

Hesitantly, Johanna offered, “Uh sure, you can uh, wait in the living room.”

 

“I’ll be right back”

 

She ran down the hall. She felt something coming from Jay’s Room.

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Jay!”

 

The two hugged. Jay was taller than his father. They clung to each other for several minutes.

 

“This is a dream, isn’t it?” Jay finally asked.

 

“No son, this is reality. I’m really here.”

 

Jay drew away as the night before came crashing back. His mother stood in the doorway, her mouth hung open. His father turned to see her, arms out-stretched as Jay spoke.

 

“No you’re not!” He cried.

 

Just like that he was gone.

 

His mother dropped Jackie’s cake dish then screamed. “He was there! He was free! Why didn’t you let him out?”

 

“He wasn’t real.” Jay replied simply.

 

“Of course, he was real!” his mother shouted.

“Not to me.”

 

Jackie ran to the doorway. “What’s the matter?” she called as she came into view.

 

She found mother and son slumped together on the floor. On the wall behind them stood a man, he had tears in his eyes.

 

Jackie put it together quickly. “Oh my God! Oh my God! That’s Gary! He’s been here all along! Oh my God! Oh my God!”

 

She realized this wasn’t helping.

 

“Is there anything I can do?” she said vacantly, not imagining there was anything she could really do.

 

“Just stay with us. Okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

It seemed like hours passed before Jay suddenly exclaimed, “I gotta get out of here!” as he rose from the floor. He threw on a pair of shorts, sandals and a T-shirt and exploded out the door.

 

Johanna didn’t say a word.

 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Jackie asked.

 

“And say what? Thanks, but I think he needs to get out of the house, away from his father.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m going to do Jackie.”

 

“Talk, I’m all ears.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 25

 

 

Jay had run out with no clear idea of where he was heading. Finally, after wandering awhile he had arrived at Amy’s house. He paced around a bit before dropping himself on her front stoop.

 

He didn’t check to see if anyone was inside. He didn’t really care. He just felt comfortable here. He let his mind drift. He started thinking about Amy. It must have taken a lot to tell him the truth. She risked everything, her identity, their relationship but she had to do it. That’s a girl you could spend a lifetime with. He knew his mom would come to like her despite the current circumstance or maybe even because of it. He imagined his dad would like her too. But he didn’t know his father, might never know him for that matter. Still, he was sure he’d like her. “I mean she’s the reason the wallpaper’s off his face.” he said aloud.

 

He couldn’t escape thinking of his father. It was all too fresh. He focused on the tree at curbside but it bought him back to the woods on the wall. Eventually, fitfully, he drifted into a light sleep.

 

He was startled back into the world of the conscious. “Jay, what are you doing here?” It was Amy’s mother Frieda.

 

“Uh, hi Mrs. Murphy, I was waiting for Amy. Do you know when she’s due back?”

 

“She should be home any minute. Why don’t you wait inside?” She eyed him up and down. He was a mess. His eyes crusted, his face reddened, his clothes dirty and wrinkled.

 

“No, that’s all right. I’d rather wait for her here.”

 

“Okay, if you want to stay for dinner we’re having… I don’t know what we’re having. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out.”

 

“Okay.” She actually coaxed a smile out of him.

 

She paused, “You’re sure you don’t want to wait inside?”

 

“No, I’m all right.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

She came out a minute later. “It occurred to me. What would you like for dinner?”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“No, what would you like?”

 

“Whatever you’re having will be fine.” She had worn him down.

 

“Would you like meatloaf?”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“No, you don’t really want meatloaf.” She paused then continued, “Why don’t I order pizza?”

 

“Sure, that would be fine.”

 

“Do you want anything on yours?” she was relentless, in a good way.

 

“No, that’s all right.”

 

“Don’t you like mushrooms? I’ll get half mushrooms.” The next question followed rapidly.

 

“What would you like to drink?”

 

“Whatever you have.”

 

“I don’t think we have soda. Do you want Pepsi?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“Of course you do. I’ll have them deliver it. You sure you won’t come in.”

 

“No thank you.” He was smiling broadly now.

 

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

***

 

The pizza guy showed a half hour later but there was still no Amy. He looked at Jay expectantly.

 

“Don’t look at me. I don’t have any money.”

The guy struggled with the packages.

 

“Okay, I’ll ring the bell.” Jay pushed it and stepped aside.

 

Frieda came to the door. “That was quick, you guys usually take at least an hour. Jay, would you get that for me.”

 

“Uh, I don’t have any money.”

 

“I meant the box. Just put it on the table.” She handed the delivery man the exact change and then a dollar.

 

“For you.”

 

“Thank you ma’am.” You couldn’t tell if he was being polite or this was the usual.

 

As she closed the door behind her, she remarked. “I guess nobody tips anymore. He seemed really happy.”

 

Jay smiled and nodded.

 

“I guess it’s just you and me. Dig in Jay, help yourself. Just leave one or two slices for Amy. Patti’s eating out.”

 

“Would you mind if I took it outside?”

“Jay, sit down, eat.” Frieda was uncharacteristically serious. “Tell me what’s bothering you. You’ll be surprised. I’m a good listener.”

 

“That’s all right. I really want to wait for Amy.”

Frieda couldn’t resist, “Who do you think told her to tell you the truth?”

 

“Oh, you know?” In his mind he couldn’t help but think, ‘Oh great, another one.’

 

“Yes, I know. Don’t you think it would be extremely difficult for a young woman to deal with all the realities you put her through?”

 

Jay didn’t say anything.

 

Frieda went on.”Well it was. I mean Jay darling, you physically altered my daughter with an unconscious look. Don’t you think that would require some help to get used to?”

 

Jay stood silent a moment. “So you told her to tell me?”

 

Frieda could tell how she answered now would be important. “That wouldn’t be quite it. We discussed her situation. I suggested she tell you. But really I think she was only asking me to strengthen her resolve.”

 

Jay couldn’t help but ask, “Was Amy that uh, bad before?”

 

“No, everything was there. Look at her sister. Look at m… never mind. She would have eventually become this person, maybe not quite so perfect but it was there. You just saw it before almost anyone else.”

 

“Almost?” Jay had caught the condition in her last sentence.

 

Frieda answered, “I always thought she was beautiful.” Jay thought that the light in Frieda’s eyes was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “So, you want to talk? It couldn’t hurt.”

 

There was barely a pause before Jay blurted out, “Mrs. Murphy, I killed my father!”

 

Frieda had expected something wild but she hadn’t expected this. “But Jay didn’t your father disappear when you were three?”

 

“I made him disappear. He’s been under my wallpaper ever since.” He didn’t see the look in her eyes, he just continued. It was a gusher; there was no stopping him now.

 

“I saw him as a shadow on the wall. That’s what he became. Last night for the first time I realized that. I mean my father has been trapped in my wallpaper for practically my whole life. How do you deal with that?”

 

She put her hands on his shoulder. “Is there anything you can do now to free him?”

 

“I dreamt about him last night and this morning he was out of the wall. As soon as I remembered my gift I put him back in. I don’t think I can get him back out.”

 

Frieda reached for something, for anything.”Did you get to talk to him in your dream?”

 

“I got to hold him. I got to say daddy. But my mom came to the door and I realized I was awake and he was gone. The only difference was you could see him clearly, on the wall that is. You could see his tears!”

 

She held him tighter.

 

“I started thinking, wondering what else did I do. I mean did I cause accidents? Did people die? I had no idea what I was doing. Did I trap other people in my reality?”

 

Frieda attempted to comfort him. “I’m sure you didn’t. Your mom was always there, working to help you. I’m sure she undid the things she could. You shouldn’t think about it. It doesn’t do any good.”

 

“I can’t help it. My imagination has been raging. If I made Robbie a dog, did I make animals people or other people animals. It sounds from Amy like I changed a lot of girls’ appearances. Did I do anything else? You know make women men or vice versa? I mean if I thought a plane hit a building, it hit the building. How many things did I change?” He was rocking back and forth, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

Amy came through the door just as Jay broke down. She fixed her mother with a what’s going on look. Frieda ignored her as she consoled Jay.

Amy hovered and finally Jay noticed her.

 

“Amy!” he exclaimed as he straightened and tried to regroup himself.

 

“Jay!” she tearfully whispered as she clutched him.

 

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Frieda whispered, though they didn’t hear her. She left the room, only to return moments later. “I forgot. Amy we left you a couple of slices of pizza. Do you want me to heat it for you now?”

 

“Ma!”

 

“Sorry.” She paused. “Okay, I’ll be right inside if you need me.”

 

“Okay mom.”

 

“Remember, if you need me.”

 

Amy sat with her back to the door. “Is she gone?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Thank God!”

 

“Your mom’s all right. She was a lot of help.”

 

She ignored the last part. “When did you get here? What were you talking about?”

“I really had to talk to you. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I must have been here three, maybe four hours.”

 

“So nobody was home.”

 

“No, I waited on the porch.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“I found my father.”

 

She was puzzled. She knew that should be good news but it clearly wasn’t.

 

He continued, “He’s on the wall. I put him there.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Remember how I always thought he left us, me and my mother?”

 

“Right.”

 

“Well, what actually happened is he came to see me in my crib. I must have seen him as a shadow on the wall and that’s what he became.”

 

“Oh my God!” This was far beyond anything she could have imagined.

 

“It gets better. This morning I saw him as real and we hugged.” Amy fortunately rejected the urge to say that’s good. “I thought I was dreaming. When I remembered what you and my mother had told me I returned to reality and he went back on the wall, a little more lifelike but two dimensional nonetheless.”

 

Amy didn’t say anything. Jay continued.”The whole thing started me thinking. What other calamities have my power caused. Try as I might I can’t determine what I affected. That’s how it became, because I thought it was real. But I really want to know. I have to know.”

 

“I wish I could help.”

 

“There is something you can do. I’ve never been out of this town at least since I was very young so anyone or anything I affected would likely have occurred here.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“It’s a small town. You could help me figure out the changes I caused. Take out an ad, go on cable access, go door to door, if we have to. I want to know.”

 

“Sure Jay, anything, but do you really think it’s wise? Then everyone would know. God only knows what that could unleash.”

 

“Hmm, you’re probably right.”

 

“We could act like we’re looking for the strange. I could front for you. That way people would be less likely to put it together.”

 

“You’d do that?”

 

“Of course!”

 

They sat for awhile. It grew increasingly uncomfortable. It was apparent that Jay wanted to talk some more, needed to talk. But they had lost their logical starting point when Amy hadn’t been there. It was no longer organic. Finally, Amy pressed the matter.

 

“Tell me what happened.”

 

He immediately knew what she was doing.

“After I left you I went right home. My mom was waiting up. She already knew.”

 

“How did she know?”

 

He backtracked, “Wait a minute that’s right I didn’t go straight home. I ran into Brian.”

 

“Anything happen?”

 

“I punched him out.”

 

“I know. I was there.”

 

“Yeah, but that wasn’t all. The way I saw things, it scared everyone. After that I went home.”

 

“Then you found your mother waiting up.”

 

“Yeah, she tried to pretend she was going to tell me. But I know that wasn’t true.”

 

“What did she say?”

“Like I said, she said she was going to tell me on my next birthday. I called her on it. She admitted she had found out I knew. Detective Plant told her. He was there.”

 

“He saw you and me.”

 

“No, I mean he was there with my mother. Anyway, we went back and forth and then something hit me. My father popped in my head. I asked what happened to him, what really happened to him.”

 

“And.”

 

“It took a bit but finally she conceded she didn’t have the slightest idea.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Detective Plant was there and told me he’d been searching for my father, searching for years. He thinks he’s dead.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Amy decided that this was the best response to this contradictory element.

 

He didn’t hear her. “Suddenly, an image flashed through my head. I ran into my room and started tearing off the wallpaper. He was there! He was always there! My father was part of the wall and I put him there.”

 

Amy didn’t know how to respond. She sat facing Jay, neither spoke. But she knew it was their destiny to share his pain, his gift, his burden. She took his hand. She looked deep into his eyes. She would have to heal him. She would have to exorcise the demons. She would have to cleanse his sins. She would have to protect him from the world and the world from him. There was no longer any question.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 26

 

Their romance took the usual course. A lot of three hour phone calls culminating in, “I’m hanging up now, you hang up first” marathons. They were a couple, truly a couple, forever a couple. Despite the fact they were both only sixteen when they met no one seemed to have a problem with it. They were natural, meant to be. They would continue on the traditional progression, going to the prom, graduating, going to the same college, getting jobs, getting engaged, getting married. Everything seemed fine, which in Jay’s world meant that everything was fine. People stayed as he perceived them or became as he saw them.

 

“Jay, you’re going to be a father.”

 

The words were still swimming around in his head even now, nine months later at Amy’s bedside. He couldn’t picture himself that way, as a daddy or Amy as a mother for that matter. But here they were. The hospital, doctors, nurses, the whole nine yards. He was happy, yes, but still he couldn’t help feeling unsettled. He had come to grips with his gift but now confronted with the possibility of his own child, in possession of it well he finally understood what his mother had been through or rather what she was still going through. A child is forever. The thought scared him totally. Yet, he was excited, forever an awesome responsibility, a wonderful promise.

 

They had given Amy an epidural. She had already been in labor for thirty hours after which she still was dilated only four centimeters, a ways to go. The doctor had told them they would have to do a Caesarean but Amy insisted. “No way!” she yelled at her, “I didn’t go through all this to turn back now. I want natural.” Finally, the nurse had talked her into the epidural. The idea of the big needle in her spine? Well, let’s just say she wasn’t pleased.

 

Dr. Prakash came in to check on her. She was a pleasant woman in her early forties, an earth mother type, make that earth Mother India. She was reassuring, tested and willing to give Amy what she wanted. “You’re ready to go Amy.”

 

“Thank God.” Amy sighed thankfully.

 

“The nurses will get you into delivery. I’ll see you there.”

 

The orderly came and helped roll her into the delivery room. They were joined by the staff anesthesiologist. Jay joined them as well. It was his time to coach.

 

“Okay Amy, let’s breathe.” he said as he held her hand.

 

“One-two-three, now push.”

 

She squeezed his hand as she tightened her face. “Hupa, hupa, hupa!” she let out a grunt and stopped.

 

The doctor urged her on, “You’re going to have to do better. We’re nearly there. Okay ready, push!”

 

Jay breathed with her, “Phook hu, phook hu, phook hu.”

 

Doctor Prakash looked at the nurse, on cue she hopped up on the delivery table. The nurse was a solid woman, big boned. She took her forearm and drove it down Amy’s abdomen.

 

“What!” Amy couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “It hurts!”

 

“Amy, push! Breathe! Push!” Jay coached.

 

The nurse was treating her like a tube of toothpaste that she was trying to squeeze the last drop from. “The baby’s coming. Keep pushing Amy! I’m going have to cut you.” the doctor ordered.

 

“Whatever!” Amy just wanted it over.

 

Blood shot four feet in the air from between her legs, drenching the floor in blood.

 

Jay had given up counting. He was trying to replace the I.V. that the nurse had displaced with her actions. Blood was shooting out from between Amy’s knuckles where the I.V. had been attached.

 

Suddenly there was calm and a weak cry.

“You have a son.” Doctor Prakash announced calmly as the nurse wrapped the child in his delivery blanket. You could see a hint of a smile above her mask at the corners of her eyes.

 

“Everything is there. He’s complete. He’s healthy.” the doctor announced.

 

The nurse laid the baby on Amy’s chest. Though she was still sore from being squeezed she smiled, the madonna smile of a new mother.

 

“He’s beautiful! Jay look at our boy.”

 

The baby had grabbed the blanket in his tiny fist and wouldn’t let go.

 

“He has a good grip.” The anesthesiologist said matter-of-factly, then packed up his tools and left.

 

Another nurse, a young one, took the baby out to be cleaned. Jay followed her. He wasn’t going to lose sight of his boy. No hospital mistakes for him.

 

“What’s his name?” she asked.

 

“We’re going to call him Sean.” Jay answered.

 

“Seanie, you be quiet. I’m just going to clean you up for your mom and dad.”

 

“He’s beautiful.” Jay said. The nurse just smiled. She’d been there, done that many times before.

 

“I’m going to have to take him to the nursery. Go join your wife.”

 

“You’re right.” He kept watching to make sure the name tag got on his little feet then followed his incubator to the nursery.

 

‘Okay, I can go now, my boy is safe.’ he thought.

 

“Where’d you go?” Amy asked on his return despite her exhaustion.

 

“I just want to make sure the boy wasn’t mislaid.”

 

“Nice! And you just up and left me here. I guess I know who rates.”

 

“But honey, it’s not like that.”

 

“I know. I’m just playing with you”. She now had that large boobed, sunken belly look. Her hair was matted to her head, exhaustion in her eyes and a weary smile on her face. Like she’d seen more than Jay could ever imagine. “I must look a mess.”

 

“You look beautiful.” and he meant it and she was…beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 27

 

The years flew by in a hectic blur. Thankfully, there were no further manifestations of the gift. Everything was settling into a wonderful humdrum.

 

It was Sean’s third birthday. They were going to have a family party, the grandmas, and Aunt Patti. Earlier they had a kiddies party with a couple of children from preschool.

 

As with all such affairs the guest list had swollen as the day approached. Now there were about thirty people and Amy had decided to move it outside, an old-fashioned barbecue.

 

The women had been buzzing about the house and yard setting up decorations. Aunt Patti had bought a gaggle of those helium balloons. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” she giggled as she attached them gaily to each child’s seat.

 

“Well, you could have had kids of your own by now.” Frieda offered.

 

She was well used to this. “Shut your mouth. I’m not that crazy. It’s a lot easier to be an aunt, all the hugs, and none of the bugs.”

 

Jay’s mom was in the kitchen whipping up a batch of her famous potato salad. She still looked twenty eight and people never ceased to tell her so but she always answered the same. “I feel like I’m ninety.” which always got a laugh but lately she really was feeling her age. Jay chose to see her as she was as she used to be.

 

Frieda came racing in the back door. “Hey everybody you’ve got to see this.”

 

Everyone ran outside, everyone but Johanna who continue to work on the potato salad.”

 

“C’mon mom.” Jay grabbed her by the shoulders as he leaned overhead.

 

“No, that’s all right. You go ahead. I’ll finish up here.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure.” she said wearily.

 

“Okay.” Jay went outside.

 

Everybody had gathered around the sandbox where Sean was being adorably precocious. He had some sand molds and he was taking water from his wading pool and using it to firm up his creations in the molds.

 

“Hey Sean what’s that.” Aunt Patti called out to him.

 

“Truck.” he answered as he rolled it around.

 

“Can you make me one?”

 

He didn’t answer just went straight to work. As soon as the mold came off, sure enough there was a truck. He handed it up to his aunt. “See.”

 

“See, what did I tell you? The kid’s a manufacturing plant.”

 

Everyone here had missed out on the young Jay though they had imagined what it was like. The reality was, of course, even more incredible.

 

Jay walked up as his sister-in-law passed the truck around. He instantly knew was going on.

 

He grabbed Sean firmly, “Knock it off. I don’t want Sean doing this.” He started running towards the house. “You should be ashamed.” he said to no one in particular or maybe to everyone.

 

Amy followed him, “Jay. They don’t realize. I didn’t… I’m sorry. Please Jay, don’t ruin this.”

 

As they neared the house they both heard a loud bang from the kitchen. Jay put Sean down and continued on. He burst through the door to find his mother lying on the floor covered in potato salad. His heart leapt to his throat.

 

“Mom!” he cried as he touched her. “Mom, what’s the matter?”

 

Amy came through the door with Sean in her arms, then turned to hand him to her sister, who had followed her in. “Call 9-1-1.” she instructed. “Isn’t Julie a nurse?” she said to the group near the door.

 

Johanna had started to come around. “Wha… what happened?” she asked Jay. The look on his face conveyed the seriousness of the event.”

 

“Are you all right?”

 

“I think so. The last thing I remember I was making potato salad. I felt a little weak and then I was here.” She tried to sit up.

 

“What are you trying to do? Lay back down, Amy called the ambulance. We’re going to have you checked out.”

 

She sat up anyway. “I’m not going in an ambulance. I’m fine. Call them and tell them not to come.”

 

Patti called from the front hall, “Too late, they’re already here.”

 

“C’mon mom, lay back down. Let them check you out.”

 

“I don’t want to ruin Sean’s party. I don’t like being any trouble.” she said embarrassed by the fuss.

 

Jay smiled, “Sean’s enjoying the heck out of the ambulance, especially the siren. Besides how could we enjoy ourselves not knowing if you’re alright?”

 

The paramedic came into the kitchen holding his kit. “What seems to be the problem?”

 

Johanna frostily answered, “Nothing, I just fainted.”

 

“She passed out and hit her head. She came to just before you arrived.” Jay interjected.

 

“Has this ever happened before?”

 

“Not that I can recall but when you’re as old as I am sometimes you forget.”

 

He looked at her skeptically, “C’mon now, how old are you, twenty-eight, thirty maybe?”

 

“I was fifty-five on my last birthday.”

 

“No way!” he turned to Jay. “What is your relationship to. . .”

 

“Johanna.” Jay completed.

 

“Johanna, husband, brother?”

 

“I’m her son.”

 

He took a good look at Johanna and shook his head and started taking her vitals, everything was acceptable.

 

“Well, I can’t find any reason for your collapse.”

 

“See, I told you.”

 

“I would suggest seeing your physician as soon as possible though to make sure it isn’t something serious.”

 

“Thank you, you’ve been very kind.”

 

He had Jay help her to a chair. He put everything back in his case and got up to leave.

 

“Maybe, I’ll see you again.”

 

“I hope under better circumstances.” Johanna replied.

 

“Maybe dinner?”

 

She blushed. “I’m old enough to be your mother.”

 

He looked hurt.

 

She continued her words to soften it, “Maybe, one of these days.”

 

“Okay, see you around. Remember to take it easy.”

 

At this point the whole party had gathered around her. There was the usual fussing and unsolicited advice.

 

“Don’t you try to do a thing.” Frieda ordered. “You just sit down and relax. You sure, you don’t want to lie down?”

 

“I’m fine. I wish you’d all stop making such a big deal.”

 

Eventually, one by one, they peeled off. Soon only Jay and Amy remained.

 

“Why don’t you two go and enjoy the party.” Johanna insisted.

 

“That’s alright.”

 

“No really, your son’s probably missing you.”

 

“I feel so useless.” Jay said exasperated. “I wish I could do something for you.”

 

“You can go outside.”

 

“Okay, okay, I’m going.”

 

As soon as Jay left Amy went to work. “Do you have a doctor? Is there a doctor you see regularly?”

 

“No, I haven’t been to the doctor in years.”

 

“Okay, I’ll get my mother’s doctor’s number.”

 

“Why are you going to do that?” Johanna was irritated.

 

“You passed out. We called an ambulance. We don’t know why. You have to get checked out.”

 

“I told you. I told everyone. I’m fine. There is nothing wrong with me. I have no intention of going to the doctor. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions.”

 

“I knew you’d say that so I waited until Jay left. You mean everything to him. I don’t know what he’d do if anything happened to you.”

 

Johanna stayed silent.

 

“So you’ll go?”

 

Quietly she whispered, “I already went. Please take care of him Amy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 28

 

“Jay, your mom has cancer. It’s terminal.”

 

The words still echoed in his ears. But she looked fine. Heck, she looked better than fine. But he had come to realize that while he could maintain the illusion, inside she was wasting away.

 

“I should be able to do something.” He had thought this many times. He had come to accept this major limitation. Still, he couldn’t let her die. She had tried to reassure him but nothing she said could dissuade him. She had taken to bed a couple of weeks ago. She was in great pain. The medicine the doctors had prescribed kept her out of it. She slept more and more. Lucidity began to leave her. But in one of those brief moments of clarity she asked Jay. “When the time comes, let me go.”

 

He promised that he would but lately he realized he might not know she was gone or conversely decide she was gone when she wasn’t.

 

He was afraid that he might sentence her to nonexistence, to premature burial or autopsy that his perceptions might actually kill her. He decided to err on the side of life, to keep a positive view of her continued function. He’d rather be deluded than cause her needless suffering. He wouldn’t tell her this. When she asked her question again, he would say “I will ma.”

 

Besides maybe he’d get the hang of his gift and cure her. The hope was always there. Still, try as he might he hadn’t been able to free his father from his papered existence.

 

Lately, he had begun telling Sean about his grandpa. He showed him pictures, videos, told him stories his mother had resurrected since his whereabouts had become known.

 

Recently, Sean had been sleeping with Jay and Amy. Jay didn’t mind, he wanted him close. But they had come to realize that Sean belonged back in his own room.

 

He hadn’t covered the mural but he had placed Sean’s crib where he couldn’t see it. To coax him back to his room they had purchased a “big boy bed” and changed the room around. This worked.

 

“Daddy, I see Grandpa.” Sean called.

 

Jay realized Sean had never seen it before. He wished he had thought to show him. But it was too late now.

 

Jay entered the room. There was Sean standing on the bed and there was his father! Sean had a smile a mile wide.

 

“Grandpa! Grandpa! Grandpa!”

 

Jay looked at his father and they both broke down. He was free, free at last.

 

Grandpa was, understandably, stiff after twenty-five years on the wall but otherwise in surprisingly good shape. He was also incredibly well informed on life and the world.

 

“I didn’t have anything else to do so I listened to the TV when it was on and the radio. I’ve missed Howard Stern lately.”

 

“Amy doesn’t have the same appreciation, especially with Sean around.” Jay smirked.

 

“Pity, and I’ve listened to you guys. I probably saw more of your growing up then I would have if I was uh, mobile.”

 

Jay flushed red.

 

“Don’t worry; you were fine, incredibly normal. Still, I wish I was there for you.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. How could you know? Anyway now I have a chance with my grandson and with you.” He smiled as he looked at him then he changed pace, “How’s your mother doing?”

 

“Not too good.”

“Maybe seeing me would help.”

 

Jay could hardly contain himself as they walked up the stairs and down the hallway. Quietly, he opened the door.

 

“Mom, you awake?”

 

“Yes hon, I was just lying here looking out the window.”

 

“I have a visitor for you.”

 

She tried to straighten up, “I look a mess.”

 

“You look fine.” Jay encouraged

 

“Always in your eyes, okay, let them in.”

 

Cautiously, Gary peeked in the door. On catching sight of him she was at first speechless. Then she expressed the thought aloud, “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

 

“No, you’re very much alive, as am I.” His senses danced all over her. “You’re just as I remember you.” He felt her hair, then breathed her in deeply. “Oh my God, it’s so much more than I expected.”

 

She bravely attempted to grab his hand. “I missed you so much more than you could ever imagine.”

 

“I longed for you. I’m just glad you never left.”

 

“So we have a lot catching up to do.” Johanna sang.

 

“I’d like that.” Gary responded. Jay realized he should leave but as far as they were concerned they were already alone.

 

Gary gently eased into the bed alongside Johanna. He could see she was tired. As anxious as he was to reconnect, he realized she needed to sleep. He, on the other hand, had slept long enough. He turned on his side to take her in. She couldn’t be sick! Not now, not after all this time. Jay had to be able do something. But deep down, he knew that if this was the case, he would have already done so. Still, there had to be some way. What about doctors? He wondered if they had exhausted all their options.

 

He put these thoughts away and returned to their life before. They had been happy, right? He didn’t know for sure anymore. He believed they were but who knows. Maybe, he just chose to remember it that way. He had to ask her when she woke. He had to ask her so many things. For now, he would lie against her. He would feel her warmth, her presence, her life while he could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 29

 

“When is he coming out? It’s been two days!” Jay asked Amy.

 

“Give him time. When he’s ready, he’ll come out.”

 

“You’d think he’d at least be hungry.”

 

“Yes, you would.” Amy humored.

 

“How does mom look?”

 

“Unchanged, you really should go in.” Amy urged

 

“I don’t want to interrupt them. I feel, you know.”

 

“Guilty? It’s not your fault. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

 

“Do you think they’ve spoken much?”

 

“Well, they were speaking a blue streak the last time I went in. They didn’t seem to notice me. They’re in their own little world.”

 

“Why don’t you go in? I think they might be ready for you.” Amy urged.

 

“What should I say?”

 

“Start with good morning and move on from there.”

 

Jay steeled himself before turning the door knob. Finally, he collected himself enough to go in.”

 

“Good Morning you two, I hope I didn’t wake you.”

 

“No honey, we were just lying here.” She giggled like a young girl.

 

“How are you feeling mom?”

 

“Surprisingly good.” she smiled at Gary. “Especially, since we’re back together.”

 

“We were never apart.” he corrected.

 

She touched his arm, “Do you believe him? Twenty-five years in a wall and he can still lay it on better than anyone I ever met.”

 

“Speaking of twenty-five years, Dad you have to be insanely hungry. You haven’t eaten since you got out. Amy has breakfast going.”

 

“That’s alright my stomach must have shrunk a bit. Don’t worry if I feel the need, I’ll let you know.”

 

“You sure? Try a little something just to break in.”

 

“No, I’m fine.”

 

Jay paused a moment, “We really need to get you to a doctor. Who knows what the effect of your ordeal was.”

 

“Jay, just leave me and your mother to get reacquainted. I’ll go see a doctor if I feel the need. Right now this is all I want to do.”

 

“Gary, Jay’s right. Maybe you should go to the doctor, get checked out. Don’t worry I’ll be waiting here for you.” Johanna urged.

 

He gripped her hand, “If you think so. Jay, make an appointment.” Jay got up to leave, “and Jay...”

 

“Yeah dad?”

 

“Could you get me a slice of toast?”

 

“Sure, coming right up!”

 

***

 

Luckily, Dr. Berson had an opening in the afternoon. His father had finally left the bed to eat and freshen up. He ate little but he had a lot of questions for Jay.

 

“How long does your mother have?”

 

“They’re not sure. The one doctor said six months. But that was seven months ago. We’ve been taking it day by day.”

 

“Have you exhausted all possibilities?”

 

“You mean have we gone to all the experts, yes we have. Mom seems accepting of the inevitability. Welcoming actually, she’s had it hard. She’s tired.”

 

“Well, I’m here now. I’ve lost too much time. I can’t accept it. I can’t accept this is the end. There’s gotta be something else. I can’t believe God put us through all this only to have me arrive at the last minute. He couldn’t be so cruel.”

 

“You could look at it that he at least gave mom and you some time before she left us.”

 

“I can’t! I won’t! This is not the end! I won’t let it be the end!”

 

“Okay, okay dad. Don’t give yourself a heart attack. Maybe you might have a point. Your being here might give her more of a will to fight.”

 

“Right and it might give you a reason to be less accepting. I mean your gift. Isn’t there anything you can do?”

 

Jay was taken aback. “My gift? My curse! Don’t you think if there was anything I could do to make her better or even to ease her suffering, I would have done it by now? I can make her look twenty-eight, appear forever young. I could do it even after she dies. I can change your perception of reality but I can’t change reality. I’ve tried but I’m not able to alter the essence of things. Mom knows this. She’s accepted it. I’ve accepted it. You’ll have to accept it too.”

 

“Wait a minute. You can keep her looking as she does after she’s dead?”

 

“I think so. I’m afraid so. But . . .”

 

“Animated, talking?”

 

“Yes, but she wouldn’t be mom. She’d be a version of her, my version. It’s what I’m afraid of. What she’s afraid of. She wants me to view her as dead before rather than after.”

 

“You’re not going to do it, right?”

 

“I promised I would.”

 

Gary exploded, “I won’t let you! I’ve waited too long! I need more time!”

 

Jay tried not to react to his father’s agitation, “I wasn’t going to but I don’t want to make her a puppet, something created from my memory.”

 

“I’ll tell you when to let go.” Gary ordered.

 

Jay looked at him, “When I let go, I let go.”

 

“We’ll see.” Gary whispered menacingly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 30

 

Jay had slept soundly. The bedroom window was slightly open. He had rolled over to find Amy gone. He had fallen back to a light sleep.

 

“Jay, wake up!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“She’s gone. They’re all gone.”

 

“Who’s gone?” He had at first thought she meant his mother had passed but the second statement had cancelled that pain and replaced it with an inexpressible fear.

 

“Your mother and father, her room is empty.”

 

Jay hopped out of bed and ran down the hall. “Jay.” She called after him. “What are you. . .”

 

“He’s gone! He took Sean!”

 

“What?!” Amy ran to Sean’s room. “Oh my God! Why would he take Sean? I should have known. How could he? I should’ve been more careful.” she was frantic.

 

“It’s not your fault. How could you know?” Jay comforted then declared, “We’ll find them.”

 

“Call the police!”

 

He went to the phone and dialed 9-1-1.

 

He had his back to her. This is Jay Noll, 212 Westwood Drive. My son’s been kidnapped… Sometime during the night. . . He’s three years old, twenty-five pounds, and brown hair, blue eyes. . .”

 

She had already clicked down the receiver. “I can’t let you do this.”

 

“It’s our son. Who knows what my father might do?”

 

“We’ll find them. I’m sure Detective Plant will help and my mother and sister, the folks we know the people we trust, the people who already know.”

 

Jay was relieved. “You get busy, contacting everyone. I’m going out looking.”

 

“Not without me!”

 

“Someone has to stay here in case he comes to his senses and comes back here. It should be you. Anyway, then you could coordinate the search.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She paused then added, “Do you have any ideas where they might have gone?”

 

“There’s a place my mom talked about. It’s by a lake. When my dad was around we used to go there all the time. I figured I’d start there. I’ll just take the van. . . That’s right, he took the van. I’ll have to take your car.”

 

“Here’s the keys, good luck honey.” She gave him a lingering hug.

 

“Thanks.” He headed for the door as she gradually loosened her grip.

 

“Uh… Jay?”

 

“Yeah” he stopped at the door.

 

“Why did you check on Sean as soon as I told you your parents disappeared?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess it was just an instinct. I mean I knew you were alright. Probably, I just wanted to make sure we were all accounted for.”

 

“No other reason?”

 

“No, no! That’s all there was to it.” He turned to go, hoping she wouldn’t press him. He was worried. He was worried his father intended to use Sean to keep his mother alive. Who knew what would happen when it didn’t work?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 31

 

 

Amy had gotten everyone together and things were jumping. Detective Plant, make that retired Detective Plant, had used his connections to get an APB put out on the van. He was busy combing the files from his long search for Gary Noll for anything that would provide a lead to his whereabouts.

 

“Don’t worry Amy, we’ll find them.” was his confident assertion.

 

Her sister and their friends had confined their search to the local area, driving up and down the local byways for a glimpse of any of the trio. They had placed posters up and even posted it on an internet site, “missing.com”. A few leads had come in but the trail had broken up about thirty miles outside town.

 

Frieda had been busy doing what she did best, feeding the multitudes. She had a 24/7 kitchen going, providing fuel to the troops. “I’m good at this, everyone’s got to eat, right?” was her mission statement.

 

Amy hadn’t heard from Jay. It had been two days. She realized shortly after he left that she should have gotten a better description then “by a lake.”

 

She was really worried. She knew he didn’t tell the truth when he left. There was a reason he had run to Sean’s room. She saw the fear in his eyes. She should have pressed him on that. “Instinct, right.” she said aloud. Jay had no instincts, he was oblivious, that was his gift, that was his charm, that was his curse.

 

Now she was left with an imagination running wild. ‘Did he think his father was going to hurt Sean?’ She had heard Jay and his father yelling the night before Gary disappeared but she hadn’t been able to make out much. She knew it revolved around Johanna’s condition. She figured Gary thought Jay could do more. Maybe, when he said no, he decided that Sean would take Jay’s place. ‘Enough, who knows, I got to get these thoughts out of my mind. I have to concentrate on getting Sean back. Jay’s fine. I know he is. He’s a survivor. Everything’s going to work out. I know it.’ “That’s it Amy, positive thoughts.”

 

“You hungry honey.” Frieda had heard the last.

 

“Starving mom.” She rubbed her head against her mother’s forearm like she once did, the sensation was comforting.

 

***

 

Jay had been all over a region around Lake Wallenpaupack in Pennsylvania. He could see the place in his mind’s eye but he realized he had to correct for the distortion of a three year-old’s memory. He hadn’t found it. He was growing increasingly frustrated. He hadn’t slept or eaten in days. He had awakened to find himself in a ditch on an isolated two-lane back road. This time of year there wasn’t much traffic and what there was tended to mind its business.

 

“Think Jay, think. Where was it? What did it look like?” He froze on an image and decided to start moving. He got out to check the damage then hopped back in and put the car in gear. No deal, it was hung up. He was going to need some help. “AAA, but I forgot the cell phone, there’s got to be a house somewhere around here with someone in it.” he said to himself. He didn’t remember seeing anything before he crashed, actually he didn’t remember crashing. He decided to head up the road. He passed some cows, a couple of deer and fifteen minutes later he finally found something.

 

The place looked familiar. It became more familiar with each step. Finally, he stood gaped mouthed. “This is it! Oh my God, this is the place!”

 

In the clearing there was a rustic chalet. Everything about it was oversized. The door had to be at least ten feet tall. The one story shack was at least twenty-four feet high.

 

Jay smiled. “Duh, it’s exactly as I saw it, as a three-year-old!” He climbed the three steps leading to the front door. “I feel like a three-year old. These steps are a foot and a half tall.” he said aloud, half laughing. When he got to the door he had to reach up since the doorknob was six feet up.

 

Slowly, he turned the knob and cautiously opened the door. He could see immediately, even in the dim cabin light, that someone had been here recently. As he stepped inside his eyes quickly adjusted. His mother was lying on a bed in the center of the room. His heart jumped, “Where’s Sean?” He couldn’t restrain himself, he ran inside. Just then Sean raised his head from besides Jay’s mother. “Daddy!” he squealed.

 

Jay ran towards him. The last thing he remembered was a blinding flash and a sharp jolt to the back of his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 32

 

“Sorry, I had to do that Jay, but to be honest you’re the reason I had to do that.”

 

Jay’s eyes groggily opened to the crazed visage of his father. It was obvious to Jay, even in this state, that his father was somewhere else.

 

“Where’s Sean?” he demanded.

 

“Don’t worry he’s all right, he’s with your mother, outside, playing.”

 

“What were you thinking? Why did you do this?”

 

His father paused as if he hadn’t considered this before, then he spoke slowly. “I was trapped on that wall for twenty-five years.” He stopped. Jay began to speak thinking this was all the reason he would offer.

 

“Why…”

 

His father ignored him or didn’t hear him. “Twenty-five years.” he sounded like he couldn’t believe it. “The only thing that kept me sane, that kept me attached, was thoughts of your mother. How we were, how we would be again.”

 

Jay nodded. His father cut him off, “You can’t understand. No one could. It is beyond the reason of anyone’s experience.”

 

Jay stopped frozen by his father’s pain. “To get out after all that time and find out that I’ll soon be alone again. That I will have no one who understands or frankly for that matter believes what I’ve been through. It can’t happen. I won’t let it happen.” He walked over to the sink and mindlessly lit a cigarette, took one puff then nervously rotated it through his fingers.

 

“You wouldn’t help me.” he looked over at Jay.

 

Jay tried to speak again but his father continued.

 

“I know. I know you can’t help me. There’s nothing you can do. Except maybe take my few precious moments away. I would never let you do that. So, I decided to take your mother and go away but then I thought maybe Sean could do something, maybe he could cure her.”

 

Jay finally broke through, “That’s crazy talk. Mom is sick. Mom is dying. We have done everything, she’s accepted that. I’ve accepted that. Do you think you’re the only one affected by this? She and I were all each other had for years after you left.”

 

“I didn’t leave!” Gary replied defensively.

 

“Come off it. You were leaving. You couldn’t deal with reality then, just like you can’t deal with it now. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I prevented you from changing your mind but you were leaving. That’s why she accepted your disappearance. That’s why she didn’t figure out what happened and that’s why I never freed you. There’s enough blame to go around but remember I was three years old. I didn’t know what I was doing, you did.”

 

His father processed for a moment. He looked on the verge of acknowledging his part when a low murmur rose from the bed at the far end of the room.

 

“Uhhh. . .” His mother wasn’t outside.

 

He ran to her side, “What is it honey?”

 

“Did I hear Jay?”

 

“Yes dear, Jay’s here.” He turned to look at Jay as if to warn him to be on his best behavior.

 

“Jay, come over here. I can’t see you.”

 

Jay dutifully came to her bedside.

 

“I’m glad you got here. I don’t have much time left.” she started coughing and couldn’t stop. It was painful to listen to.

 

When she finally stopped she grabbed Jay’s hand as firmly as she could. “Jay, promise me, you won’t keep me here. No matter what you feel, no matter who feels differently. Let me go.”

He looked defiantly at his father. “I will mom, I promise.”

 

“Good, good. Where’s Sean? Where’s grandma’s little man?”

 

Jay waited expectantly.

 

“He’s taking a nap dear.” Gary answered.

 

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

 

“You want me to get him.” Jay offered.

 

“Don’t wake him.” Johanna said weakly.

 

“He needs his sleep.” Gary said with finality. His face told Jay not to press it. Then Gary stepped between them. “Let’s give your mother a break. It takes a lot out of her.”

 

“I’m a little tired honey.”

 

He grabbed Jay firmly by the back of his upper arm and led him over to the kitchen area. He didn’t show a weapon but Jay imagined one in his pocket. Even if there hadn’t been one, there was one now.

 

“You’re not going to see Sean until your mother gets better. Don’t try again. I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

 

For the first time, it was out in the open. Who was this man? It couldn’t be his father. There’s no way his father would hurt his grandson. Still, he understood that this was a damaged soul. Who knew what he might do?

 

“Do you hear yourself? Threatening the life of your grandson!” Jay shouted.

 

Nervously Gary looked over at the bed. “Keep it down.” he whispered excitedly. “I don’t want your mother to hear this.”

 

“She should hear it! She’s the only one who could talk any sense into you.”

 

Gary began to sob softly, “What am I going to do? She’s all I got!”

 

“You have me and Sean and. . .”

 

“I don’t know you and after what I’ve done I doubt I ever will. I don’t know anybody or anything for that matter, your mother is my only link.”

 

“We can get through this. Give it a chance. Okay dad?” Jay thought he had gotten through. “Now where’s Sean, so we can start to put this behind us.”

 

“No, it’s too late. I’ve isolated Sean so when the time comes he can bring your mother back to me. If you won’t help or at least cooperate then there’s nothing left for me to do.” He pulled the gun from his pocket and pointed it at Jay.”

 

“Turn around.” Gary ordered.

 

“You can’t shoot me while I’m facing you?” Jay taunted.

 

“Just turn around.” Jay complied. “Now let’s head outside.”

 

Jay continued walking. He expected the end at any moment. He thought of Sean. He thought of his mother. But most of all he thought of Amy. K-R-A-C-K! An instant of pain and everything went black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 33

 

 

It was dark. For the moment Jay was totally disoriented. He could barely move. But gradually he realized where he was. His father had locked him in the trunk of the old car out back. By touch he located the tire iron and began to pry at the door. Eventually, he was able to bend it enough to let in some light and, more importantly, some air. He was sweating profusely by this point so he took a moment to decide his next move. He thought he might be able to kick his way into the rear seat and quickly realized this goal. He was out but he had no idea how much time had passed or if his father had moved his mother and Sean.

 

One thing he knew was that he was going to be more careful this time. He checked around the outside of the cabin, now, thankfully, normal-sized. It looked empty. For the life of him he couldn’t imagine where they went.

 

He went inside. They hadn’t left long ago. The kettle on the stove was still warm. Actually, everything was left behind, Sean’s toys, his mother’s medicine. Maybe they had…

The door opened. In came Sean followed closely by Gary carrying Johanna.

 

“Jay, give me a hand.” Gary called as he came into the room. “Pull the sheets back on the bed.”

 

“Daddy!” Sean called as he ran to Jay.

 

Jay bent down and picked him up. His first intention was to simply leave but he couldn’t just abandon his mother.

 

“You’re going to leave aren’t you Jay?” Gary asked.

 

“As soon as I say goodbye to mom.” Jay replied.

 

“I’m sorry.” Gary simply said. “I realized I was wrong.” He was resigned to reality. “There’s nothing more you or anyone else can do for her now.”

 

Jay walked to the bedside. Johanna opened her eyes. “Hi honey, I’m so glad you made it.”

 

“Mom, how are you feeling?”

 

“A little better.” She weakly replied.

 

She tried to sit up.

 

“No, don’t strain yourself. Save your energy.”

 

“Honey, I want to. Give me a hand.”

 

He helped her to an upright position and put a pillow behind her back.

“I spoke to your father and he understands now. Jay promise me, you’ll take care of him. He really needs you.”

 

“Okay mom.”

 

“You’ve been a good son Jay. The best any mother could ask for. I’m so proud of you.”

 

Jay hung his head. She stroked it. “My little boy, I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too.” Jay was a little boy.

 

They kept talking. Jay was encouraged by how animated she was. He couldn’t understand why his father was lingering in the shadows at the foot of the bed. He was crying.

 

Finally, Gary stepped out of the shadows. “Jay let her go.”

 

“What do you mean? She’s doing so much better. I can hardly believe it. I mean before when she was really sick you wanted me to keep her here and now you…”

 

Jay looked at his father. His eyes opened wide. “Oh.”

 

“She passed on the way back, son. She asked for you. She wanted to see you one last time.”

 

Jay quietly dropped to his knees. At first he sobbed silently, his tears were dry. Then Sean came over and stroked his cheek,

 

“Luv you daddy.”

 

“I love you too, bud.”

 

Amy had just arrived and threw open the door when she heard their voices. She stood in the doorway watching her two men. Her voice restrained by Jay’s pain.

 

She walked softly over to them. Jay looked up. They didn’t speak. They didn’t have to. Sean smiled at them and giggled. Jay swept them in his arms and the three repeated a ritual they had performed countless times, a group hug.

 

Jay released them slowly. “Reality is really hard sometimes,” Jay said.

 

“Reality lies in the eyes of the beholder.” Amy replied.

 

Jay opened his eyes as he drank them in. He clutched them closely, then softly murmured, “Reality lies.”

 

 

 

 

 

347

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.05.2013

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