I was too busy scribbling down last nights notes to notice Mason sit next to me. He leaned over my shoulder and playfully tugged on a lock of my chocolate hair, making me blush. I was in complete and total endless depth of love with Mason. He didn’t know it, but he knew he liked me. Just not that serious. I think he kind of liked me too, but more in a perverted hormone teenager way then chick flick love kind of way. I used to imagine what life would be like if he knew, if he would reject me or maybe feel the same way. My best friend Rae already named our children, if anything could be more embarrassing. Wait, scratch that, a lot more things could be way more embarrassing.
I glanced up at him and smiled shyly when I saw his flash of perfect white teeth. suddenly he snatched the paper out of my hands and stopped me when I tried to get it back.
“No, I already did it. You can use mine. It’s no bother.” I stared at him in shock and he laughed. I blushed even more, and I thought my face would boil off by now. As I finally got my bearings I began to object. “No, its fine. I don’t mind doing it again.” With my mouth still half way open, I sighed as he handed me his typed notes. As he did, the teacher Mr. Lock walked in with a stack of papers he immediately started handing out. when he reached my desk, I glanced at Mason and looked closely at him surprised as the only seconds ago half done notes were completely finished. I handed the teacher my notes, or rather his old notes, and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him when Mr. Lock’s back was turned. He smiled again, that gorgeous perfect smile, and I thought I couldn’t look more stupid with my beat red face and my goofy stupid grin.
When class finally ended, I quickly grabbed my books and headed straight for the door, trying to avoid the swarm of flirting girls that flock Mason after every class. But something stopped me, and that something is his hand wrapped around my wrist.
“Wait, Alix.” The sound of my name sent shivers through me. I tried my best to keep my voice steady as I replied,”Yeah?”
“Um, here’s my phone number. If-if you need help with anything, of course.” He dug around in his pocket and handed me a tiny crumpled up yellow piece of paper. He nodded kind of nervously and walked out of the room. I, on the other hand, was in too much shock to move until Mr. Lock snapped me out of my trance by dropping a pile of textbooks heavily on my desk. I walked roboticly out of the room and struggled not to scream in pure happiness near anyone in earshot which would be the whole school.
The rest of the day was a blur for me, being too excited to call him as soon as I got home.

In sixth period, all I could do was stare impatiently at the clock mocking me by taking its time until the bell rang. I was the fist one out the door, and ran like my life depended on it outside and to the long walk home. Today I decided to take a short cut through the woods, a tiny path I found in fifth grade that led directly to my back yard. Everything seemed so much brighter, which sounds cheesy. I stopped every now and then to acknowledge a squirrel or a baby sparrow and to smell the wild flowers. Everything was going good for me today, and when I call Mason-
I stopped in mid stride. What am I going to say to him? ‘Hey I’m just calling to say I’m in love with you. So how’s it going over there?” No. I don’t even know what I’m going to say, and I’m over here being little miss House on the Prairie. I am such an idiot. And he said if I need help with something. So this doesn’t even mean much to him. He said that to just help me with homework, nothing more than a pity treatment. What is wrong with me? I’m probably the laughing stock on Facebook since probably everyone saw me in my little daydream world today. Oh, God. What if its just all a joke? A little white lie that he gave me a fake phone number to just to amuse himself, and when I show up tomorrow all confused, he’ll laugh in my face and say, ‘your such a pathetic loser! You think you actually had a chance with me? ME?” I could feel the horror plastered on my face. I reached into my pocket to throw the yellow slip of paper away, to never have seen it, when I heard voices. And one of them was Mason.
I turned to it and began silently navigating myself through the thickets of branches, regardless of my previous thoughts. I found my way looking into a clearing through the bushes, and saw Mason glaring at a man in a drench coat.
“You can’t tell me what to do!” Mason sounded pissed, I side I never saw even when a jealous boyfriend confronted him. His once warm brown eyes looked cold and animal like, no exaggerating. I could only see the back of the man’s head, and he shook it like he was talking to some immature child.
“This is out of your power, boy. Remember the treaty. She is to be left alone.”
She? I began to feel a little taken aback and a little bit of jealousy of this ‘she’ they were talking about, even if I didn’t know what the hell they were talking about in the first place.
“I can do whatever I want.” His voice was like acid to my ears, and I cringed. The man tisked at him, and Mason leaned forward like only a strand of string was holding him from tearing this man apart. The wild animal I had seen in his eyes spread to his gorgeous face, contorting it to look demonic.
“Do you really want to do this?” The man tisked annoyingly again and then suddenly he was gone. Instead, a huge black wolf, much bigger than me, stood in his place, and growled menacingly. And in the place of beautiful lovable Mason, stood a tall sleek steel gray wolf, with its head dipped low and its long fangs glimmering in the sunlight.
I gasped in horror and scampered back, my eyes wide and stricken.
I was louder than I thought, and both of them turned in surprise. My breath was ragged as I struggled to get on my feet to run. Mason’s eyes widened and it was like the bush wasn’t enough to conceal me anymore. Tears streamed down my face, and I eventually got the strength to run. But as soon as I got up, I tripped over a vine which made me cry more. I began to run as fast as I can, not caring for the extreme pain in my leg or the whipping branches gone by. I threw the piece of paper down and sprinted once I made my way on the path again, also ignoring Mason’s once again human voice calling me back and the horrible howl that followed. I finally collapsed from the pain as I found myself finally in my backyard and away from them.

*****

Crack.
It was a twig snapping. I swiveled towards it in surprise, thinking the bastard actually brought backup to fight me. It was Alix.
No. No. No! Her face was filled with horror as she stared at me and struggled to get away. Tears streamed down her beautiful face and blurred her blue hazel eyes, making them look disoriented. My heart stabbed in pain at the sight of her, always an innocent baby doe in my eyes, but now looked like she has been herded in with a pack of wolves, which is the painful truth. She got up and began to run, but tripped over a low hanging vine and with a tiny snap with only my hearing could have caught. She looked over her shoulder with newly shed tears in her eyes and began to run faster.
I quickly switched back to my human form and chased after her, calling her name to get her to stop. But she kept going, limping almost, as fast as she can, and a lump in my throat began to throb painfully. That’s when I saw it. A little flash of yellow sticking out from the fallen leaves. I picked it up and opened the tiny slip of paper to see my phone number I had hurriedly scribbled on before school, determined to give it to her. The pain doubled, and I howled as I changed back and ran away from her, the bastard jerk, and if I’m lucky, my life.

*****



I didn’t eat breakfast, mostly because I felt too sick to even try it. I just went straight to school, ignoring the pain in my leg since the two days ago. My mom wouldn’t let me go to school yesterday; worried sick like parents are and kept me here stuck to watch home videos. Half the stuff I didn’t remember, and it seemed like a lifetime ago since I looked that happy in anything
I got funny looks from everyone. Usually I would walk up to a random person and tell them about how suckish gym will be today, but instead it was like a giant black abyss was over my head and that anyone close enough would be sucked in. I slugged through classes, never paying attention and ignoring people that asked about my foot. It took my teachers to almost shout my name to get any of my attention, which would fade as soon as the next monologue started. It was only when I finally got to sixth period did I began to freak the hell out.
Sixth period was the only class I had with him, and he would probably want to talk to me since that day. I didn’t think about it, because every time I did I almost screamed. Just seeing that, that thing at all terrified me, its once so sincere eyes turn animal like that, and it just wasn’t natural.
I wore a hooded sweatshirt; manly because I was so pale people would have noticed, and because it was going to rain. I put the hood over my head and slid down when more people came in. Suddenly I heard the seat next to me screech, and arms rested on the sleek black table top. I inhaled the sweet perfect scent of wet bark and aftershave, the smell of it making me shiver. It was Mason.
My mind sent out a preview of when I had last saw him, making me want to run away to a safe place, like when little kids have nightmares and go to their parent’s room. But there was no one for me to run to, I was all alone and by myself.
He didn’t talk to me, just sat there like I didn’t exist. Surprisingly it stung, like I still had any remote feelings for a monster like him. All that time, all those passing notes and in-joke secrets, all those flirty signs and crumpled up love notes, just a joke to him. Monsters can’t have feelings. They’re monsters. He probably killed someone before. Oh, god. I was in love with a killer. How stupid can I be, to fall in love with him? How oblivious do you have to be to see what he really thinks of you? I was just his play toy, his little puppet that he would throw away like a wasted cheerleader on the big game. There for monsters to use until they get broken. I’m such an idiot. Before I knew, the class was over.
I got up to leave when I noticed a note left on my desk. Whoever it was from must have slid it on my desk on their way out while I was still in my own little world. I picked it up, and almost dropped it when I noticed Mason’s handwriting on it.

ALix. Need to speak to you. Meet me at the front of the path after school.
P.S.
Please don’t hate me.

Oh, god.


It was misty and gray outside, calming my nerves only just a little bit. I thought about just blowing him off, but I needed answers. The ground was muddy as I dragged my feet to the path. I hugged myself against the cold, terrified. What if he’s going to threaten me not to tell? What if they’re going to kidnap me? Or kill me? Or both? Oh, god. I’m panicking so badly. When I looked up, up the windy dirt path, I pictured the snarling teeth, menacing, the once was so beautiful smile turn into something like that never happened. It just didn’t.
Suddenly he was there, leaning casually against a tree like it was a normal day. He looked at me and said, “You came.”
I either wanted to slap him or run screaming away, but I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to do more. So I just stood there, never looking at something for more than five seconds, avoiding his gaze.
He sighed heavily and said, “How much did you see?”
“Enough to see you almost kill someone.” I said bitterly. I saw it hurt him, but I refused to break down into sobs. I was better than this, better than to lose my dignity to this thing. Despite everything, my eyes still got damp.
“What you saw was- What you saw-“
“What? What did I see?” I snapped. I decided to go with slapping. “Whatever it is, it sure as hell wasn’t normal.”
“Alix, please-“
“Please nothing! You can’t just bat your eyes and say please to fix anything. Just stay away from me!” I had been walking up to him, ready to push him away, when my hands weren’t mine anymore, and Mason gripped them firmly with the inhumanly strength that terrified me so much. He looked deep into my eyes, making sure he had my attention. They were the same rick silk brown from when I had found him so wonderful, only the appeal did not last on me anymore. But I still felt the strange pull to him, and I hated myself for it.
“Okay, now calm down. I just want to explain. You can hate me as much as you want, but first you have to listen.” He was silent, then continued. “I am a werewolf. I was born that way, and I’ll die that way. That man you saw is also one. We don’t just turn on full moons, or only get killed with silver bullets. We can turn when we want to, or when we let our anger get the best of us. There are others, other creatures like it, but not the same. Lycans. There are witches and warlocks, demons…. And vampires.”
The last word left a bitter taste to the air, like someone cutting rotten lemons. I had known what he truly was when I had seen him, the day that seemed like years ago. But I refused to believe it unless it came from his mouth. I was still the little love sick ugly duckling in a field of doves. I realized that it would never change. He, standing in front of me, gripping my wrists, was the same Mason I had known before. That would never change, even if he is part dog.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 31.07.2011

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To the Twilight fans.