A crowded room was loud in my ears. Kyle stood there bruised, battered, and broken. A woman sauntered up to him and walked in a slow circle around him. She drug her fingertips gingerly across his collar bone and shoulder blades, letting them linger a little too long in places. His body stiffened and in a barely audible whisper he said, “Get you skanky ass hands off me!” She merely paused and looked at him. A devilish grin spread on her face and she reached down and grabbed his crotch right there. Kyle jumped and tried to pull away. When he did that, her grip would tighten. I tried running to him, but my feet were planted firmly where I was. When I tried screaming, it was as if someone had clipped my vocal cords.
The woman’s cherry red lips found their way to his ear and Kyle grimaced at her being so close. She mumbled something that I couldn’t hear and I saw his eyes widen with panic. He tried again to pull away and this time she slapped him. She hit him so hard he fell back and everyone laughed. I tried again to run and scream at the wretched people, but the image grew further and further away until it was replaced by another scene.

Now I saw Skylar sitting cross legged in his bedroom. His head was low and there was a razor blade in his hand. I ran to him and tried to wrap my arms around him. I went right through him. Something shiny caught my eye in his lap. There lay a large white handled knife with gleaming jagged edges. My breath caught and tears burned my eyes yet again. I tried desperately to grab it away from him. But my hands kept going through it never the less. It was as if I wasn’t even trying. I watched in horror as he pressed the razor to his skin and began to carve something in his arm. My eyes were over flowing with tears as I tried to tear the razor out of his hands and scream at him to stop. His face twisted with pain with every cut. When he stopped I looked up from my hands where I had laid my face. He wiped away access blood on his skinny jeans and held his arm out in front of him.
Horror and fear seized my heart at the same time. In his arm, he had carved my name and a rose. I screamed and lurched forward in a useless attempt to get him to stop. “Guess I’m not good enough to love.” He mumbled and picked up the gleaming knife. I gasped and tried to take it away again. I screamed sat the top of my lungs but I wasn’t heard. He held it to his throat and I watched a single tear fall from his eye. He drug the knife swiftly across his throat and the knife dropped from his hand in slow motion. Blood poured out of his neck and he slumped back against his bed.

This time my voice did work, but nothing else did. “Skylar!” I screamed as loud as I could. Only half came out in the dream and the other came out as I bolted straight up in my bed. Jaylin’s arms were already around me and he pulled me into his lap. “Shhh! It’s just a bad dream baby. It’s over now.” He crooned over and over again. I was crying and breathing heavily. I bit my lip to quiet my sobs and relaxed into him. I repeated everything Jaylin told me in my head. “Everything is okay.” He told me. I turned my head to him and his tired eyes greeted me with a worried expression.

“Skylar killed himself because of me. If I had just stayed with him a little longer then he wouldn’t be dead! And Kyle wouldn’t be in a foster home and being molested and beat and- and” I sobbed loudly into his shoulder. I couldn’t finish. It hurt just way too much. Jaylin craned my head up to look at him. The fierce protectiveness I saw in his eyes startled me for a moment. “You can’t blame yourself for that, Alondra. That was his own choice. If you let that thought into your mind it will mentally destroy you. I can’t bear to lose you either.” He told me in a fierce whisper. The look in his eyes turned sad at the end. I knew that was true. When Jaylin had first asked me out, I had turned him down.

I watched as he plummeted into a deep depression and began lashing out at everyone. That’s how I found out he was Bi polar. Ever since he got on Abilify though, he has been doing better. However there is no doubt in my mind what so ever, that if anything were to happen to me things would go spiraling downward again. I mentally shoved that thought out of my mind.
I nodded to Jaylin and some of the weight seemed to lift off his shoulders. I glanced over at his alarm clock. It said 6:45 A.M. I sighed heavily and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. It would be my luck that the first night I actually get some sleep, I have so many nightmares it is unreal. I wasn’t tired at least, so that was a good thing. I bounced off the bed and onto the floor. Unfortunately I did it a little too fast and got really light headed. The room spun a little before settling back in its rightful place. Jaylin tilted his head to the side and watched me. I noted that his eyes still had hints of worry in them. “I’m fine, Hun. Scout’s honor.” I told him with a playful salute. He smiled but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed. It reached his eyes this time and I was quite happy with that. I smiled back at him. He believed me at least.

I held out my hand for him to pull himself up and he looked at it like it just might bite him. I chuckled once and shook my head. I gestured towards my hand and said playfully, “My hand is officially teeth free so it will not, and I repeat, will not bite you.” He gave me a sarcastic look but used my hand to pull himself up anyhow.

We both got showers and got fully dressed. We drove to the school for the meeting where Ms. Danni pulled me off to the side. A boy I didn’t recognize as ever having gone here was following closely at her heels. I secretly imagined him with a tail and floppy ears to match. I smiled at the thought but I guess Ms. Danni too it as I was smiling at the boy because he was cute, not that he wasn’t because he definitely was, because she said, “Well, looks like you two will be getting along just fine without me.” And smiled and walked off. I stared after her with a puzzled look on my face. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.

The new kid was standing there. He had to be at least “6”5’. I mean the kid practically towered my measly “5”2’. He had black hair with blonde4 streaks through it that actually looked really soft. I had a sudden random urge to reach out and feel it. But I squashed that feeling right then and there. His eyes were a very strikingly beautiful shade of blue and it looked as if the sun danced in them. He was lean and had just the right amount of muscle. His chest was covered by a tight fitting white T-shirt that just emphasized the hard planes carved into his body. His arms were muscular and strong looking. His jeans weren’t skinny jeans but still they were pants that looked like they had been made specifically with him in mind. They were not to baggy and not too tight and they hung low on his hips, but not showing his boxers low. Which I found nice since so many guys do that for some odd damn reason I have yet to figure out.
“Um, she wanted you to show me around the school.” He said. His voice was deep and naturally seductive. What the hell is wrong with me? I thought to myself. I have an amazing boyfriend and I’m calling a kid that I don’t even knows’ name, voice seductive? I mentally slapped myself and returned to the real world where the kid was staring at me with a smirk on his face.”Oh. Okay. I wasn’t told what I was supposed to be doing so I was a little lost.” I told him and felt a blush creep up my cheeks. Man I was becoming a pro at sounding like an idiot.

A pair of arms wrapped around me and the scent of Tag Wild Card filled my nose. I sighed and relaxed into Jaylin’s arms. He rested his head on my shoulder and eyed the new kid ruefully. “So what’s your name, Hun?” I asked in a casual tone. I was grateful for Jaylin being there at that moment because he kept my mind from wandering. The kid’s face turned slightly sour at seeing Jaylin. “Shayne. Shayne Dawson.” He told me. I opened my mouth to say my name but Jaylin politely took care of that for me. “I’m Jaylin and this is my girlfriend, Alondra. Nice to meet you kid.” He said in a slightly possessive tone. He held his hand out to shake Shayne’s hand but Shayne didn’t return the courteous gesture. I looked at Jaylin and rolled my eyes. I sighed and his arms dropped from around my waist. His look was quizzical and I just shrugged and said, “Ms. Danni wants me to show him around the school. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?” He smiled a half smile that always let me know he was up to something.

He pulled me close and kissed me sweetly for about an entire minute and then released my lips so I could breathe. I bit my lip but smiled at him. “Jealous pot.” I teased. He squeezed my hand and said, “Maybe. But okay. Just please try to hurry with the “Tour guide” duty, okay?” I nodded and he walked into the throng of students. I turned back to Shayne and I knew I was blushing. “Well,” he said with a shocked expression. “Guess that ruins any chance I had of being with you.” My own eyes widened. I cleared my throat and croaked out, “Wait, what? You barely know me!” a grin spread ear to ear and he laughed. “Chill girl. I was playing. But you are very beautiful.” I’m pretty sure that comment was all it took to get my cheeks to flame even brighter.

I looked down sheepishly and my phone rang. “Never too Late” by Three Days Grace blasted from my phone and I silently thanked god for it. I flipped open the phone not bothering to look at the caller I.D. because I knew who I set that ringtone for by heart. “Heyya buddy!” I shouted happily into the phone. Kyle’s voice was a horse whisper on the other end of the phone, “Alondra, you have to come get me. The family they sent me to is-“he was cut off by a shrill female voice shrieking at him to get off of the phone right this instant. “No!” he snarled back at her. There was a loud bang that sounded like someone had been slapped. “Kyle?!” I yelled into the phone.

The only thing I heard was –Beep-Beep-Beep- I slammed my phone shut and grabbed Shayne’s hand and dragged him with me as I dashed into the crowd to try and find Jaylin.

All of the sounds around me seemed like they were miles and miles away now. I searched frantically through the herd of people but I didn’t find Jaylin. I sighed in frustration and growled. I stopped causing Shayne to stumble into me. “Sorry.” He muttered. “What’s going on Alondra?’ he asked with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. “Do you have a car?” I asked completely ignoring his question. “Yes, but-“he began but I cut him off yet again. “Show it to me!” I demanded. He grabbed my wrist this time and drug me through the crowd and out to a parking lot. We stopped a four door Cummins Turbo Diesel truck that was maroon in color.

He threw me the keys without question and I hoped in on the driver’s side. He followed and got in the passenger seat. I cranked up the truck and let it warm up. After about twenty manually counted seconds I backed out of the parking space and drove out of the parking lot. “At least tell me where we are going since you are driving my truck like a bat outta hell!” he yelled over the roar of the engine. “Fine!” I yelled equally as loud. “We are going to get my friend Kyle out of that god forsaken hell hole of a foster home!” “You mean that kid whose brother committed suicide and whose dad drove drunk and got in an accident?” I glanced at him and my voice came out surprisingly calmer than what I felt like. “How did you know about that?”

“It was all over the news last night.” He told me with a somber expression. I rolled up the windows and that cut down the noise of the engine. That was why people were whispering all around me and Jaylin when we got there. My grip on the steering wheel tightened and my knuckles turned white. “Yeah. That’s the kid I’m going to get.”

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Texte: this book is my property so keep your paws off of it.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 25.05.2011

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