“Oh my god.” I whispered. My head was spinning around and around trying to process the information. Had he killed himself because of what happened earlier? If he did, I couldn’t live with myself. The guilt would eat me alive, from the inside out. And I already felt the unease of it in the pit of my stomach. I felt the hot, fresh tracks of tears down my face. Jaylin glanced at me with a worried look. There weren’t tears down his face but his eyes were watery and red. He wanted to cry. You could tell it. But he knew he had to be the strong one out of the group.
Even thought Skylar cheated on me, all of us were like a close-knit-family. When something made one cry, we all cried. Just like now.

Kyle was full on sobbing now. His head hung low and salt tears stained his shirt. I watched as Jaylin gently put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and bit his lip, trying to stifle some of his crying. “Let me drive.” Jaylin told him. He nodded and pulled over. His body slumped and his head came to rest on the top of the steering wheel. His body heaved with the heavy sobs and Jaylin jumped out of the car and jogged around to the other side. He opened the door and offered Kyle a hand to pull him out. He declined the help and pushed his way out of the car. He climbed into the back seat with me. I pulled him over to lean on me and cradled his head to my chest. I pressed my own lips into a thin, hard line to quiet my own tears. I rested my head on top of his. My tears making his soft black hair wet.
The cops were already there as we pulled into the drive. Before the car had even stopped rolling, Kyle was already out and on his feet running to the gurney that was undoubtedly carrying his brother’s dead body. “Kyle!” Jaylin and I yelled at him in unison. We ran after him but an officer held us back. “Let him be.” The man barked at us in a rough voice. I pushed against his arm in a futile attempt to get past him. I watched as Kyle gripped Skylar’s hand in a tight vice like grip and held it to his chest. He was saying something I couldn’t make out. It was as if he thought that if he talked to him, everything would be undone.

The E.M.T.’s pushed him back and rolled him into the ambulance. A loud “No!” tore from Kyle’s throat and he tried to get into the ambulance with them. Another officer grabbed his shoulder and hauled him back gently. “I’m sorry son, but there is nothing you can do for him now.” The other office told him in a more compassionate voice. In another dimly lit part of my mind I wondered where Kyle’s dad was and why he wasn’t here.

As Kyle heard exactly what was going on inside my head, he yelled, “Where is that fucking drunk bastard?!He was supposed to be back from the Convention center an hour ago! He was supposed to be here!” his voice broke. The officer’s eyes widened just a bit before he regained his calm demeanor. “What is your father’s name?” he asked in a hushed whisper. “James.” He said with a snarl. “James Connolly. I’m Kyle Connolly and the boy on the gurney is my brother, Skylar Connolly.” He finished. The snarl in his voice left but was replaced with an unwanted spout of tears. The officer grimaced and signaled the other officer to let us through. I broke into an all out sprint and wrapped Kyle in my arms. The cop’s, who’s name tag I was now able to read, name was Officer McCreedy. And he looked like whatever he had to say took everything in him to spit out. “Your Father was in a car accident along Broadway. He was drunk and swirved into another car, killing himself and the other driver.” I felt Kyle’s hands harden into fists. He turned to the officer his expression hard and cold as ice. “I don’t care about that bastard! He wasn’t here when he should have been and Skylar committed suicide. What happens to me now?” he asked Officer McCreedy angrily. The officer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Unfortunately, because you are not 18 just yet,” he began. I got this terrible gut feeling that I wasn’t going to like where this was headed. And it turned out I was right. “You are going to have to go into the foster care system until you age out next year.”

I felt my eyes widen at the same time as Kyle and
Jaylin. Foster care?! He was seventeen! The people in there most of the time don’t even give a shit about you! My hands formed fists and I gently pushed Kyle behind me. He gave me a quizzical look but did what I wanted never the less. “Can I talk to you for a moment, Officer?” I asked through clenched teeth. The man nodded solemnly and followed me to the other side of his squad car. I whirled around and looked the man in his eyes. They held a look of true sorrow and remorse. I gulped. Momentarily feeling regret for him. He obviously hated doing this part of his job. It showed in his deep set worry lines. “He is seventeen. Cant you let him live with friends or family for the time being?!” I pleaded. “I would like nothing more than that. Trust me. Unfortunately only a judge can do that.” He told me with a grim expression. “that poor boy. He’s all alone now. No brother, father or mother.” He shook his head. “I’ll come by and get his stuff later. Right now I have to go.” He lightly put a hand to my shoulder and turned away.

I followed him to the other side and watched the anxious glances pass from Jaylin to Kyle. I grimaced and walked over to Kyle. I threw my arms around him and slumped. New tears found their way to the surface and Kyle just held me. He whispered “It’s okay Alondra. I’ll get out of it. I always do. Remember?” I nodded and he pet the back of my head. He gave my hand a squeeze and helped me stand up straight. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, not caring if my make-up smeared or not. Kyle gave us a wistful smile and climbed into the car with the officer. Jaylin walked up behind me and slid his arms around my waist. He set his chin on my shoulder and I felt the tears fall and land there. My eyes watered again and we watched them drive away as the sky turned to night.

We stayed like that for half an hour after they left. Neither of us could bring ourselves to move. I wished somewhere deep down inside me, that all of this was just a dream and I would wake up soon. Which was not only unlikely because I was awake but because of my insomnia. I still wished though.

I sniffled and heard Jaylin’s hoarse voice tell me we should get going. He unwound his arms from my waist and grabbed my hand. I followed without protest. I wanted to get as far away from this place as humanly possible.

Jaylin drove us to his house. The car ride was silent and echoed how empty I felt right about then.
I got out of the car and tugged Jaylin’s hoddie tighter to me. It must have dropped at least twenty degrees since we started driving home. As if on cue, it started snowing. The first snow I had seen on Galveston in five years. The pristine white snowflakes fell gracefully down to the ground and the winter breeze sent shivers down my spine. It would snow today of all days. The one day when things had gone terribly wrong, something we all love would happen. Only the joy that I usually felt with snow didn’t come. It was like someone hollowed out my heart with a spoon and then stuck it back in my chest. I bit my lip to keep the tears from falling again and rushed inside. Jaylin followed swiftly behind me.

I shook the snow out of my hair and hung the hoodie on the coat rack in the entry way. “Are you hungry?” Jaylin asked. “No.” I answered, but my stomach growled in protest. In truth I didn’t feel much like eating. All of the things that went on today had killed any appetite I had. Jaylin nodded in agreement and I followed him up the stairs to his room. We walked in and he shut the door quietly behind him. I walked over to his bed and plopped down on it. I turned my head and watched Jaylin take his shirt off and toss it down a laundry chute. I absent mindedly traced abstract patterns on the Nightmare Before Christmas bedspread.

Jaylin knelt down in front of me and gently pushed my choppy bangs from my face. His eyes were still red and he looked like he was about to pass out. “Hey.” He said. “Why don’t we get some sleep? Tomorrow we have to go to the school meeting. You doing okay?” there was genuine worry in his eyes. I’m sure the obvious answer to that question was plastered on my face. I sighed and shook my head. “I know.” He whispered. He kissed me lightly on my forehead and I gazed into those green eyes of his. He got up and climbed on the bed beside me. I pulled the covers up to our chins and sunk down in the bed until I was comfortable. Jaylin wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to his chest. I reached over and pulled the string to the lamp. Darkness encased the room.
Funny, usually no matter what happens in a day, my insomnia won’t go away. Only tonight it did. I snuggled into Jaylin’s arms and fell asleep even before he did. I heard him whisper “I love you.” Right before he fell asleep as well.
And unfortunately, I regret my insomnia being dormant that night. Because that’s when the nightmares started happening.

Impressum

Texte: this book is property of my imagination so keep your paws off of it!
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.05.2011

Alle Rechte vorbehalten

Widmung:
to my friends, fans, and my family and my underdog lovestruck best friends.