MONSTER

P

rison was a never a walk in the park. You had to defend your territory, make sure you didn’t make more enemies than you really needed to have. Thus far, I managed to keep away from any significant groups and did my best to keep to myself. I had a few encounters where some inmates found out about my criminal background and decided to use that as an excuse to face me, let’s just say it didn’t end well for them. But, other than that I was a picture perfect convict. CO’s loved me and I felt right at home, it was easier for me to survive inside a prison than to survive in the outside world. Plus, I could be controlled while in there, controlled from hurting anyone else. My insatiable need of self-destruction came to a halt while behind bars, it was a great feeling.

A feeling that did not last as long as I thought it would. I was expecting to die there, be buried in whatever hole they had available. Yet, it did not happen that way. Fourteen years into my twenty-five year sentence I received news that I was being released for good conduct.

“You lucky bitch,” Cece, self-proclaimed friend of mine snickered as she said those words, “You reek of freedom already.”

I had no friends or at least that is what I always stated. However Cece was the only constant person in my life, oddly enough. Every time I’d gotten busted and had to do time, she was always there waiting for me, not willingly of course, her sentence was life without parole. While she sometimes dreamt of the outside world she and I were both the same in a certain sense, we were both monsters that needed to be locked up from the rest of the world.

“I wouldn’t consider myself lucky,” I replied nonchalantly.

She stared at me, eyes in wonder. “What are you afraid of? Is it Escobar?”

I shook my head. Escobar was part of it, but it was what I did when I was with him that scared me the most. I hated not being able to say no to him, not because of the fear he planted in me but more of the bond we both held.

“I have a feeling it was his doing...” I contemplated my words for a while before finishing, my mind lost in thought.

“What did he do?” Cece asked snapping me back in to reality.

“The reason I’m getting out early.” I sighed, thinking of the fact that I would once more roam the dreadful streets. *Two more days.*

Sleep and rest was a term I was not used to outside of these prison walls. I began to feel the uneasiness of the real world and I found my mind wandering back to the last time I’d been released from prison…

They had set me free on a technicality, *What a bunch of idiots*, I said to myself. These idiots never learn that people like me will never change. They had even seen my record, it was nowhere near just full of misdemeanors, it was far worse and I was sure I was not walking out that time. I guess the devil was on my side. The only thing I was regretting at that moment was losing my bag of crystals. I decided to go and look for my dealer and see if he would score me some more, after all that punk owed me big time.

That same day I decided to go to Escobar’s place. He burst out in laughter when he saw me. “What not even one day? Are these foo’s serious?”

I bummed a smoke from a cigarette box resting on a near dirty coffee table and ignored his comment. Whatever he said never truly bothered me. Scoffing I replied, “Pigs said jails were full.”

He laughed even harder. “And they decided to let you out, so we can commit crimes now and be let loose just ‘cause jails are full? Damn...”

I knew what he meant. I had done some horrible things in my life, some of which I was never caught for but most of them required a sentence of a few months, some years, but I usually got out every time. I began doing drugs since I was ten years old, stole property, threatened, beaten and even killed but only those who deserved it.

Killing had never been easy for me. The first time I ever killed I was fourteen. I hated my stepfather, more than I hated my life. He was a drinker and a smoker. You know how they say those addictions are slow killers? I decided to speed up the process. He was usually the careful type, never slept with a cigarette in his hand. I made sure it was different that day. He was knocked out from all the booze he had drank, making sure he would not wake up I punched him, shook him even but he didn’t budge. I had made up my mind to end his life and so I did. I took a cigarette from the drawer, lit it, took a few puffs and placed it in his hand. I took a half empty vodka bottle and bathed the bed with what was left of the liquor. I lit a cigarette for myself and stared at the match that continued to burn, it had such beautiful colors, colors that soon became bigger and more vibrant, the fire grew and it was intense as it submerged my stepfather. It was beautiful...

Escobar signaled one of his girls to bring a package over. He took a bag of my favorite drug - crystal meth. Oh, those sweet crystals, they were everything to me. “I’m glad the fuzz didn’t keep you, Reina. This is for you...” He threw me the bag and I was never more grateful. “I heard you delivered the car successfully, the boss was happy. So, in the lights of you being out... I have another job for you.”

Another job was not in my mind at that moment. All I wanted was to consume my crystals and be alone, but that was my life and there was no way Escobar would take no for an answer. I merely nodded my head and he gave me a toothy smile in return. “At a’ girl!” He scooted next to me and gave me a peck on my lips. Unintentionally I directed my gaze to the tear tattoos which adorned on his face. Each tear portrayed a person he had killed. He had two near his left eye and three on his right. That reminded me of not to mess around and that I no longer owned myself. My eyes darted to his lips as he began to speak again, “there’s a new car we have our eyes on. I need you to get it for me. We’ll have everything ready for you tomorrow. You got caught last time, don’t let it happen again.” While I acted like I took his threat seriously, I didn’t really care. I wanted to get caught and I was trying to get locked up. Crazy, some would think. But it beat being out there and for the past two years I was being careless, even then I was still out and about.

Now, here I was. Ready to leave my cage to back in to that hell hole some people call the world…

It was time for my release and it was a dreadful day. As expected a black SUV with dark tainted windows was there waiting to take me back to the corrupt life that owned me. Big Bear, a very tall and husky man stood outside the car, crossed armed. He definitely lived up to his name which is why he was Escobar’s trusty right-hand.

“Great to see you again, P-r-i-n-c-e-s-a,” he welcomed me with his heavy Latino accent.

“Yeah, wish I could say the same thing,” I scoffed at him with an unpleasant tone. I despised him with every fiber of my being, he had shown his interest in me from the first time he had laid his small onyx colored eyes on me and I on the other hand showed him how much I disliked him. Displeased with my lack of emotion towards him, he tried to force himself upon me; he had done this before with many girls before me. He had raped them and in many cases killed them with his brute force. He did not have even the smallest chance with me, because of Escobar. He let him know this with a warning that almost made him lose his right eye which he concealed with dark sun glasses, I was untouchable to him and it only fueled his desire.

“Come on, you should be happy to see me. You’re out of that shit-hole and all thanks to daddy, I made sure that he didn’t forget about you baby doll,” he cooed in my ear. I shoved past him and made my way to the backseat, while he burst out in laughter. “I love ‘em tight like you mami.” He was so annoying. I just wanted to wipe the smirk off his face. He looked at me from the rear-view mirror, the smirk plastered on his lips still. “Escobar has a nice surprise for you, I’m sure you will love it.”


I shook my head as I stared out the SUV window. I was a free woman, yet all I could think about was the crime which had landed me in jail this last time…

The day following my meeting with Escobar passed by quickly, the night-time was our favorite time to play and carry out our malicious deeds. As promised they had taken care of everything in order for me to take the car. I had a lot of practice with plenty of cars. Stealing that one in particular would prove to be a piece of cake. My hobbies included reading as many mechanically-inclined books as possible. I had always fancied that I would have done great at school if I had gone to one. The alarm was located in a complicated place, but I had learned very well how to disarm it.

Everything was going great until my hand began to shake. *Drugs*, I needed them like I needed water. I tried to maintain myself without taking anything when I was doing those types of jobs. In my pocket I could hear the crystals calling my name. I thought to myself, *Why the hell not?* What Escobar didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him or me for that matter. If he ever found out I was messing around he wouldn’t hesitate to torture me and then kill me as he had me watch him do so many times before with others who didn’t follow his orders.

I could feel the drugs running through my veins, stimulating all my senses. I started the car and felt the need to speed up. The streets were empty at those hours and the adrenaline was kicking in. *Faster! Faster!* My body and mind craved more speed and I indulged myself in it. The light turned yellow and I was a few feet away from the intersection but I was not about to stop, I wanted to beat the red light and I did...

All of a sudden there was a crash. I knew I had hit something. A sense of panic came over me, I was afraid of seeing what I had smashed into; the car I had stolen didn’t seem that damaged. I sighed. Escobar would kill me if there was even a small dent. A few seconds later there was a scream and a cry for help and all I could think of was *Drive! I have to drive away!*

Big Bear signaled me that we had arrived at our destination, finally shaking me away from my thoughts I stared intently at the abandoned warehouse, near the bay. My heart began to beat faster, the unknown and not being in control made me shiver. I did my best to hide it and act strong. He opened my door and motioned me to get out of the car. “They’re waiting.” Other than Escobar I couldn’t imagine who else would be waiting for me. All I could think of was that he had planned some major welcome party or a new job. I had barely gotten out from prison but I was sure he already had something planned for me...

“Brothers and sisters, it is time...” Escobar’s voice echoed throughout the empty warehouse. My senses adjusted to the dark space which was barely lit by candle light. At the snap of fingers and on queue lights turned on making my surroundings more visible. There, stood six people in red robes and Escobar in a white one. I could not believe my eyes, behind him sat a girl, tied and beaten. Her eyes were devoid of any strength to live. I looked at Escobar with disgust, while he only smiled and motioned to embrace me. I made no move to stop him for my eyes kept on returning to the girl sitting in the chair. She could have been no more than fifteen years old and she reminded me of myself. Her scared green eyes and bloodied brunette hair brought me back horrible memories.

“Whatever you are planning to do, I want no part of it,” I made myself clear; still I know my voice did not sound too convincing. I knew all too well Escobar’s involvement in bloody satanic rituals. I’d already seen far more than I’d needed to in my years, and I had no desire to participate in his dark arts.

He let out a laugh and a holler, “Woowee! Well lookie here, the years in prison have surely made you tougher.”

The people in robes only laughed to go with his statement, yet I was unable to see who they were, not once had they showed themselves. “I won’t have any part of this,” I repeated in a more assertive manner. I could feel my eyes burning and my face becoming warmer with anger. I turned to walk away like I had done so many times before, but it was clear I was not going anywhere this time. The ones in red coats made a barrier, making sure I would not dare pass. “What the hell is going on?” I turned to Escobar making it clear I was far from pissed. The girl began to squirm. I could only assume she had noticed my uncertainty. She thinks I can help her, but I honestly don’t care… or at least I think I don’t care.

“Well if you would let me explain,” he started, moving behind the girl. There was a table which was adorned with a red satin blanket that almost made it look like one of those altars you would see in cheesy horror movies. “This is my gift to you.” He grabbed a golden dagger, which I had seen before. It was known he used it for sacrifices and soon it became clear what the girl’s role was. “I have been very patient with you, Reina. I have protected you and cared for you because we are blood bonded. That is why I had let you do what you want,” he stomped his feet and raised his arms in dramatization, “But no more! It is time for you to join the Coven. Our family. We are one with our god.” He inhaled deeply and turned to bow to a large reversed wooden cross behind the altar.

I looked around trying to find a way out, a means of escape, there was no way in hell I would hurt another innocent person. As if he was reading my mind he stared at me, his eyes were never so piercing, “What are you afraid of? You were born from evil... you are the seed of evil. You cannot escape what you are. You have killed the innocent... yet you left one, in order to become part of us you have to finish what you started.”

His words were confusing me, I tried to understand but nothing made sense. “What are you trying to say?”

“I thought you were just a bit smarter, I guess the lack of drugs have the opposite effect on you. This bitch right here...” He swung the dagger right to left and then swiftly placed on the girl’s throat. The girl muffled a scream under her gagged mouth. She looked at me, terror in her eyes, pleading for me to help her. “She’s the one you left alive.”


Escobar looked at me and sneered. “Or don’t you remember?”

I stared at him for a moment, and then understanding began to set in. My head swam as I realized just who the girl in front of me was. Oh, I remembered…


After the crash, I woke up in a cell. The drugs had worn out by then and my mind was pure mush. While I was still alert, I couldn’t remember what I had hit or who. The cops whispered when they looked at me, it didn’t seem good.

I learned later who I had crashed into. Whenever I drugged myself and I had felt like dying, I really never thought about anybody but myself. I was always selfish, egotistical and uncaring for the world. Killing innocent people was never something I had envisioned and something I had never really wanted to do. For some reason when I heard the full report my heart ached. I had crashed into a couple who were exiting a fast food drive thru, the speed and force in which I hit them made their car crash into a light pole and it split the car in half. I looked at my lawyer; I couldn’t help but ask even though I knew the answer, “Did they die?”

There was some pity in his eyes. I only hoped that the pity was not meant for me. “The male victim, the driver, he died instantly.” He showed me pictures of the wreck, it was atrocious, not even in Hollywood movies you would see such a thing and I had created that.

I held back my tears and acted like I didn’t care, I had no right to cry. Who was I to cry? Pushing back the pictures to him, I continued, “And the girl? There was a girl right?”

“The other half exploded and the girl was badly burned...”

A sudden flashback appeared in my mind. Cops pulled me over by then and I remembered the chilling screams of a woman pleading for help. I shuttered at the memory of it and crossed my arms.

“They were able to get her out,” a glimpse of hope passed by me, she had made it out, but as he continued I came to learn that it was not so. “She was alive when the paramedics arrived. But she died on her way to the hospital.”

“I see...” was all I could manage to say. In reality, I couldn’t see beyond myself and much less comprehend what I had done. Guilt was something I had never really felt, until that moment.

“You’re being charged with two counts of negligent homicide, a count of hit and run and grand theft auto. And you could be charged with another count of negligent homicide, but that is still pending.” The lawyer stated.

My eyes opened wide and I felt confused for a moment, “Three counts?” Had I killed a passerby too?

He took a deep breath, “The girl was eight months pregnant, the child is in intensive care, they don’t have much hopes.”

Back in my cell, my heart ached. The world seemed smaller than usual, a strange feeling. Behind those bars was more of a home than the outside world. I used to feel safe and comfortable behind them, I felt that I could rest. If I had a soul I would say it felt uneasy then. I didn’t understand anything of what the lawyer had explained. All I knew was that I had killed two innocent people and possibly an unborn child. I thought it wasn’t too bad if the baby had to die, it was beyond me on how people decided to bring kids into this god forsaken world. Yet, I debated within myself that it was something I had no right to decide and as much as I tried to lie I was happy that for the moment the baby was safe. I could only imagine the hardships he or she would encounter now that I had left him or her without any parents...

I stared in horror as Escobar pulled on the girl’s hair and she muffled another scream. “You see her,” he pointed the golden dagger at me, “She’s the one who killed your parents. She’s the one that left you an orphan to struggle with life on your own.”

It was all clear then. She was the baby that had survived. The one and only thing that gave me hope. The baby that was somewhat a miracle was there, beaten, strapped and about to die. The girl’s eyes were no longer pleading to me but instead they turned to anger and grief. The change was drastic. It was as if she was no longer frightened of death.

“What did you really think, Reina? That you got out of prison for your own merits?” He let go of the girl and made his way to me. I noticed his gun showing from his waist, it would be hard to grab it, I thought to myself. “We made a promise, to give this child in return for your freedom. It’s time for you to join the Coven. Then you will bear my seed.” I felt like throwing up at his last announcement. He had gone completely insane; it was as if he was another person or as if he had been possessed by a demon. The ones in red robes began to chant and his last warning was, “If you fail to do this, I will give her the right to avenge her parents and you will cease to exist.” He placed the gun on her lap.

The tortured girl’s eyes opened wide at that and I for one didn’t think it would be a bad idea at first. However, my thoughts changed in a matter of seconds, I was not about to die. What was one more life to take? I was already doomed, dead and shattered. What was one more death in my bloodied hands? Hell was already here, there was nothing more to be afraid of because death was all around me.

Escobar smiled. Once again it was like he was reading my mind. He handed me the dagger and I took it. I made my way to the girl, her anger showed but this time she was also afraid. The chants continued to get louder, Escobar also joined in, his anticipation growing every second. I lifted the dagger and aimed it for her heart, the girl looked up at me and her eyes softened. I smiled at her and launched the dagger towards Escobar, he screamed in pain as it pierced his chest. I quickly grabbed the gun sitting on the girl’s lap and without hesitation I shot Big Bear first. I knew he would be the first to try to stop me. Big Bear fell backwards and hard, I took the time to get a hold of his gun and began firing at the rest who called themselves the Coven. One by one I shot them and those I was close enough to I snapped their necks. Four or five were lucky enough to flee. Escobar had the same idea too and was trying to get away as best as he could. I pressed my combat boot hard on Escobar’s head to prevent him from going any further. I turned him around so he could look at what he had created.

“You dare kill your own,” he spit a chunk of blood before he continued, “your own father.”

“Just like I killed my own mother,” I replied, “Fools never learn, that people like me will never change.” I cocked the gun once more and pressed the trigger. The bullet went straight to his head and it was the loudest bang I had ever heard in my life. It echoed all throughout my being. A single tear escaped my amber-colored eyes and I choked as I saw the man -from which I had come from- on his way to hell, a place which I was sure to join soon enough.

I went to aid the girl, a look of shock was plastered in her face as if in disbelief of everything she had just witnessed. I placed the gun next to the chair and began to untie her hands. I removed the gag from her mouth and last I untied her feet. She looked at me, still confused. She looked down at the floor, yet I dismissed her gaze. With a swift move she grabbed a hold of the gun, I was sure it had about one or two bullets left. I was never careless, or so I thought. She pointed the gun at and I gave two steps back. Her hand shook and it would have been quite easy to take the gun away from her, but I didn’t.

“Go ahead. Shoot me,” I was sincere. I longed for death and justice had to be made.

“You killed my parents...” tears began to stream down her eyes like raging little droplets. “How could you destroy people’s lives like that?”

“I am a monster. I was born from two evil monsters. I am the seed of evil. My mother hated me and my father,” I turn to look at Escobar’s lifeless body, “I just wished I had never met him at all. I must have ruined your life and for that I have nothing to give you anything but my life to heal your grief. Monsters like me should be killed or we will kill over and over. We can never change. My mother and father never changed and neither will I. You have to end it... shoot me.”

She shook her head and sobbed. “I’m not a Monster. I won’t condemn myself like you did. I won’t turn into a monster!”

I was a bit taken aback by what she had just said. I felt admiration for her, something I lacked feeling for anyone else. I had been a fool to push her to kill me. That would have ruined her innocence, something I was trying to protect from the beginning.

“I forgive you. I hope God forgives you. Even monsters have a right to forgiveness. I forgive everything you did to me and I do believe you can change.” The green-eyed girl dropped the gun.

My eyes burned and tears began to free fall, there was no stopping them. With a blur vision, I noticed a shape moving, it was Big Bear and he was reaching for something in his right foot. He had concealed a small gun and was about to shoot the girl, my innocent girl. I was not too far from her. I embraced her as I turned her around, giving my back to Big Bear. A sharp pain spread all over my body. Unable to keep standing up I fell to my knees, “Go get out!” I commanded her. But she wouldn’t budge.

“I won’t leave you here!”

“Go now!!!” I shoved her. I saw the gun she had dropped on the floor and pointed it at Big Bear, he was about to shoot her, so I drew his attention to me. “I’m right here you bastard. Doesn’t it piss you off that you could never have me?” His eyes burned with rage and we both pointed the guns at each other. The girl was almost out of sight I gave one last look before I pulled the trigger, no bullets. I smiled content. I had been forgiven... I was a person again, with sins, nevertheless a person... no longer a Monster...

How foolish was I to think that people can never change...

Impressum

Texte: The cover is not meant to be sold, it is only to enhance the readers experience. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form. This is a work of fiction any resemblance between the characters and persons living or dead is purely coincidental.Copyright © Melissa Castillo
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 31.08.2011

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This is dedicated to all the wonderful people here at Bookrix. A special dedication to Wendy Reakes a.k.a Writingmum, who showed me that news can inspire me to look deeper into my own imagination.