Introduction

Hi. I’m Mark. Mark Phanelley. I’m a 16 year old kid who’s pretty happy with life. I’m turning 17 at the end of this year, the last day of school. I’m a sophomore in Greene High School. I live with my parents, I don’t have any siblings. It’s just me and them. I don’t mind, I hear all the time how everyone fights with theirs, so maybe it’s a plus? Tomorrow is the first day of sophomore year, I’m pretty excited. Mostly because I’ll finally get to see my best friend Alex after about a month. We had hung out a bunch at the beginning of summer but it slowly got to where we didn’t even text. It was probably just something to do with his family.. He doesn’t live in a great environment. His mother doesn’t care for him, when she does it’s not helpful, while his father beats her and him every night when he gets home from the bar.

But that’s not really the case I suppose. He’s my friend, I’m his. I’m there for him when he needs it, I try not to complain much. He’s basically a loser in our school though, that’s why it’s important for me to be there for him. But that changes ya know? It changed.

And it costed something.

Many things actually.

But oh well…. He just had enough I guess.

I get it though, I forgive you…

 

Chapter 1 - Alex

 

“Alex hide!” my mother hissed at me.

I ran to the spot I’ve been hiding at recently, it’s hard for my dad to find me when he’s hammered like he is.

I crawled in the space we have between the washing machine and the dryer, I’m a skinny kid so I fit. Once I got into the most comfortable position I could think of, I turned my attention towards what was happening beyond my hidden spot. My father had already gotten to my mother and they were yelling at each other.

“I don’t care anymore! Just shut the fuck up!”My father yelled ending the fight with a loud slap.

I jumped a bit as the sound comprehended in my brain.

“Where’s Alex?”My father asked, looking down at my mother who had fallen to the floor in attempt from getting hit again.

“I don’t know…”She said quietly from below.

My father started to get frustrated and grabbed my mother's wrist and pulled her upwards towards his face, “I asked you a damn question! Answer it!”

My mother took a glance at my spot and we made eye contact for a split second. Her eyes were pleading and she was on the edge of bursting into tears. Before she looked away she mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ obviously signaling she was going to give away my position.

My mother bowed her head in shame and finally squeaked out a couple words before bawling, “Washing machine…”

I froze, I froze completely trying not to make a single move or noise. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. It felt like it was gonna burst into a million pieces if this kept going on.

I saw my father’s feet get closer and closer to the washing machine which has hidden my position so far. I wanted to crawl back more, but I’d end up getting tangled with the many tubes and plugins, but to be honest with you I’d rather be stuck in that situation than this.

My father had stopped walking and stood where I had crawled in. He didn’t say anything yet, he just stood there, like he was waiting for me to come out on my own… But that wasn’t going to happen. I thought if I could make it seem like I weren’t here then he’d go away and search elsewhere.

“I can hear your heart pounding Alex.”My father said, with a deep frightening voice.”You’re scared.”

Obviously yes I am, but rather than being scared of him I’m scared of what he’ll do to me.

“Come out.”He demanded.

I kept my position and stared blankly at his feet. If I stay here and do nothing, the punishment will be worse. If I come out now, will it be the same or easier? Either way, he knows I’m here.

“Come. Out.”He demanded once again, his voice rising.

I stayed still, frozen in the position I was a few minutes ago. I haven’t moved an inch still thinking about my plan of trying to convince him I wasn’t here but we both know he knows.

“Alex if you don’t come out this instance you won’t have legs to crawl in that damn hole!”My father yelled at me, pounding his fist against the washing machine.

I decided it was time and pussy out of my plan, “Okay okay…”I said quietly, quickly navigating my way through back out where I came from.

“Why the hell were you hiding boy?”My father said to me, placing his hand roughly on my shoulder and looking me square in the eyes.

I didn’t answer him, but I stared straight back.

“Well?!”He yelled.

I looked down towards the floor at my mother who nodded towards me, signaling that I should just tell him that way there’s a chance I might not get hurt today.

“Mom told me to.”I said quietly, still looking towards my mother.

“Speak up!”He yelled, tightening his grip around my shoulder.

“Mom told me to, damnit!”I screamed at him slapping his arm away from my body.

At the second, I knew I had fucked up and bought myself a ticket to punch town. I took my eyes away from mother and looked at father whose eyes showed fury. All in one motion my father pushed me and pinned me to a wall. He started slapping me, and added in a few punches.

My mother decided to do something. She ran up to my father and held back his hand, which was about to throw another punch.

“John! John… Please don’t, it’s okay. I made him do it.”She told him.

My father turned to her and pushed her to the floor. She fell on her side, perfectly enough for father to started kicking her. After each kick I heard my mother gasping for air.

I can’t watch this anymore.

“Stop!”I screamed trying to push him.

Since I don’t weigh much and I’m pretty scrawny I didn’t have much of an effect. And obviously me trying to fight back didn’t make father very happy. He turned around and put one hand around my neck and pinned me back to the spot I was in. He began to tighten his grip, making it harder and harder to breathe in air each second after another. After a little bit of struggling I wasn’t going to fight.

I know, giving up so quickly huh? I just don’t see why it’s worth it. I stopped struggling and squirming and I began to see my vision fade. But then Father let go and I fell to the floor on my ass.

I began choking and hacking as new air hit the back of my throat making it’s way into my lungs. It stung a bit at first but then became refreshing.

To be honest with you, I kind of wanted him to hold on just for a little bit longer, long enough to where I could drift off at the least because that would obviously be better than the position I have and always will be in.

But that doesn’t matter obviously.

What matters is that I have school tomorrow, and I’m only happy to be back to be with Mark. My father has been keeping me from seeing friends. Well… my friend. But finally it’d be great to see him again.

I always hope they notice the marks, but the only one who does is Mark. None of the other students care, and neither do teachers. It’s as expected. I’m the loser. The anti social kid in the back of class who is always messy.

That’s me.

Alex Glantias. That’s me.

Chapter 2 - Mark

 

BEEP BEEP BEEP

 

“Oof!”I yelped as I had fell to floor off my bed.

My alarm clock scared the shit outta me… Wait, what time is it?

I looked at the clock and the bright red numbers were displaying the time of 5:25 A.M. I should take a shower before my mom wakes up. She wakes up at 5:45, so she can take a shower then head to work by 6:30. She makes my dad take me to school or if it’s not raining or snowing I walk. She will absolutely not let me ride the bus, for some reason she hates it more than I do? But I’m not complaining!

I’ll give you my morning routine thing… Well I wake up at that time, 5:25 A.M. every morning. I get up, slowly, ever so slowly and find my way to my bathroom. I take off my pajamas and I take about a 15-20 minute shower. When I get out, I dry off and I put a towel around my waist, brush my teeth, then go to my closet to pick out an outfit for the day. Most of the time, I put on a plain t-shirt and put one of hoodies over it. I wear blue jeans most days, with my black converse shoes.

I suppose I am a pretty normal looking kid. I have brown hair and brown eyes, my hair is kind of spiked upwards, making me kind of look like the youtuber Gabe Helmy, to be honest.

But anyway, that’s what I do every morning, or the main points of it anyway. I usually don’t eat breakfast, but when I do it’s usually just a piece or two of toast.

Today I have decided to walk to school considering my parents have been at each other’s throats about money lately!

As I was walking down the stairs I heard footsteps coming down for me.

“Mark, honey, have a great day at school okay?”I turned around as my mother said those words. She looked sweaty, not like she took a shower or anything just sweaty. She was wearing a disorganized outfit which meant she was in a rush.

“Uh mom, why do you look like that?”I asked her, still confused.

My mother gave an embarrassed smile,”honey.. Your father and I made up.”

At the thought, a few ideas came flooding into my head, one in particular…”Ew! Mom! Are you serious?”

My mother smiled and started to laugh,”Sorry Markie! Now go to school, you’ll be late!”

I gave my mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I walked to the front door and opened it up. I looked outside and immediately the familiar smell of fresh cut grass entered my nose. It was delightful, I loved that smell. I started to walk out of the front door, but then turned around and yelled, “Dad, I love you! Have a great day!” I heard my father yell something back, but couldn’t make out the words. I’d assume it was the same thing back. Just for good measures, I made sure that the door was locked behind me, and then I decided was now the time to go. I closed the door and started my journey towards my school.

To be honest with you, I am a little eager to get there for two reasons.

1. Alex Glantias
2. Emily Sunken

We all know who Alex is, he’s the great best friend of mine. Of course I’d be eager to see the dude again! But you don’t know who Emily is.

I’m sure you can guess, she’s a girl. The most beautiful girl ever! I have had a crush on her for a good while now, it’s actually starting to get embarrassing. The fact that I haven’t asked her out yet is ridiculous! That’s what people in class say anyway. Everybody knows besides her, it’s kind of a shame. But I’m a coward so, of course she won’t know unless someone else tells her.

At the moment I am on Street Alexander. Two streets away from the school. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I live really close to my school so it’s not that hard to just walk, thankfully.

As I was about to get on a different street, out of the corner of my eye I saw my future wife, she doesn’t know that yet though.

I turned my head to get a full view of her. She was walking with two of her friends, who live down the street from her. She does what I do, if it’s not raining or snowing, she usually walks. I was admirning her face first, and how her hair was put up this morning. Like most kids on the first day of school, they always look nice, presentable anyway to the rest of the students of school, but she dressed casually, close to being under the level of “I didn’t want to show up today so I just kind of threw this on”. She had her hair up in a messy bun, but to me it looked absolutely perfect. Her hair is a golden brown color, her eyes are bright green and glimmer when you talk to her. Usually when her hair is down, it goes to her waist and is a bit wavy near the ends, which I find to be absolutely gorgeous. Her outfit today contained the clothing of, sweatpants and a school hoodie. This is going to sound a bit creepy, but she wears sweatpants a lot and I can always tell you which ones look good and which ones I like. These ones are my favorite. They’re not too baggy, they’re not really tight either, they fit around her legs nicely and you can easily identify the shape of her leg. They look extremely comfortable, which is why I assume she wore them today.

Right as I was about to think about her more in my head, she turned her head and caught a glimpse of me. At first she didn’t realize it was me, but then looked back to get another look. As she put face to name, she realized who I was and a big smile formed on her face. She looked so beautiful, she is s-

 

WHAM

Chapter 3 - Alex

 

I got to the school quite early, like I always do. I get up before my parents do so I can get prepared in peace and not leave the house with a wound or bruise. I always wait on the stairs in front of the main doors of the high school.  I usually wait a good 10-15 minutes for Mark to show up so we can head to class.

As I was waiting today, I saw him walking down Alexander road, he wasn’t looking in front of him so I traced where his gaze lead off to, across the road on the other side was Emily Sunken, Mark’s  ‘future wife’. He was admiring her I suppose. She is a beauty I must say but she isn’t the nicest to me, she only is when Mark is around, so obviously I wouldn’t like her much as a person.

But anyway, as I kept watching Mark walk and not pay attention to what is in front of him, he was getting quite close to a light pole. He was going to walk right into it if he didn’t snap out of his gazing session!

I quickly  jumped my ass off the stairs and started to jog towards Mark. I’m quite a scrawny kid, my stamina isn’t great, so I didn’t last very long. I only got halfway from where I was to Mark before he smacked his head right into the pole. As a reaction, he fell to the ground and was in the fetal position holding his face, I assume, where it hurt.

I picked up the pace and got my ass to him, but a split second before, Emily got there first.

We stood there over him, one of us on each of his sides looking down on him.

He was hurt, obviously, but we looked at each other like we didn’t know what in the world to do.

After about a minute of  this awkwardness, he decided to look up, first he looked at me and smiled then at Emily and his face lit up like his world was just made. He got up to his feet almost immediately and turned to her.

“Hey Emily.”He said to her with the huge smile and twinkle still caught in his eyes.

She smiled back and gave Mark a kind of flirty nudge you could say, “Hey Markie.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist. It was quite cute, it was satisfying to see that Mark was having a moment he won’t forget for a long while.

It’s like they’re practically dating, but they’re not. It’s like they both sense the tension between them but choose to just not acknowledge it for some reason. It’s like they’re totally oblivious to the love they have for each other, but not at the same time.

But I looked away for a second and took a glance at the ground to find that Mark’s backpack had slipped off his back when he fell over. I decided to pick it up and held it in my hands while I looked back at him and Emily. They were still talking, catching up I assume.

I kind of wish I had a crush but that’s kind of hard when all the girls in your school find you repulsive and they’re always so mean to you all the time. I’m not sure why they think of me that way, I’d say I’m a pretty kind and respectful person, but I guess not.

Just would be nice to know I’m not all that lonely. Yes there’s Mark, but he can’t give me everything that I’m missing, which is a shame. But oh well, the world doesn’t work that way, and that’s alright. Till it’s not, but for now it is.

Chapter 4 - Mark

 

I was too ashamed to look up, and maybe I should have been, that was really embarrassing. I’m sure she knows that this only happened because I wasn’t paying attention and admiring her instead. But I decided to take a peek, maybe it couldn’t be THAT bad. I moved one of the fingers that was blocking my vision of the outside world. The first thing I saw was Alex. It made me smile, it’s nice to see a familiar face. Then I decided to look at my surroundings and the next thing I saw immediately after Alex was Emily. Sweet oh sweet Emily. Her face showed concern, but she still looked absolutely flawless. I shot up immediately and started to talk to her.

“Hey Emily.”I said with a bright smile. I thought I’d stay on the safe side and not act flirty.

She gave me a nudge, but I was still studying her face. Her face showed a smile but as she nudged me one of the corners of her mouths went up to signal that she was flirting.

“Hey Markie.”She said, with a smile spread across her face, light dancing in her eyes. “Are you okay?”She added.

I nodded, on the verge of drooling.

She giggled like a little school girl as if she knew I was zoning.

“How was your summer Markie?”She asked me, tapping my shoulder.

I snapped out of it and didn’t hesitate to answer,”It was alright, normal summer.”I said to her, voice broken because of my nervousness.”How was your’s?”

“It was actually really good. My family and I traveled a lot and I got to see a bunch of awesome places.”She said to me.”You didn’t text me either.”

A feeling of guilt started to claw the inside of my mind. That’s right, I never did text her. It wasn’t really intentional, I just didn’t want to seem desperate, but then again I actually am!

“I’m sorry for that.”I said to her,”I’ll text you every night if you want me to from now on.”

She smiled at the thought.

We heard yelling coming from the other side of the road and turned our attention towards it. It was her friends yelling for Emily to “get your ass over here”. She turned back to me and smiled.

“I’ll see you later Markie.”She gave me a quick hug then turned back and started walking towards her friends.

Once she was with her friends, I heard them making kissy noises, I assume, teasing her about the past few events they had witnessed. I saw her face, and she was just smiling and giggling at all the remarks.

My thoughts were interrupted by Alex shoving my bag into my hands.

“I’m prrrrrrretty sure she likes you too.”Alex said to me.

I turned my attention towards him and smiled,”I hope so. I’m in love with her.”

Alex smirked,”Yeah I know Mark, you talk about her everyday, all day.”

I laughed a bit, and put my arm around his shoulder.

“Let’s just go to class.”

We walked up to the stairs next to each other without saying a word. I wanted to ask what has been up lately but he might just say “my father's fist in my face” or some remark to abuse. But today has started off good, I didn’t want to ruin either of our moods so I kept quiet.

I know we have two hours of the day together. First period and last. I’d also see him in the middle of the day during lunch, which should help Alex keep motivated to finish the day.

We walked in the front doors and most everyone had scrambled off to class already to make sure they got in on time, but honestly I don’t care. They don’t give tardies till after the first week of school so I’ll be taking advantage of that.

When we were about halfway there to our first hour class, we heard some screwing around going on at the end of the hall. We saw four of the most popular guys in school. Brock, Jeremy, Bryce and James. Alex and I call them the Bj gang.

They’re known to the students as being hella rude and not the brightest kids. They always suck up to the teachers so the teachers think they’re sweethearts who wouldn’t hurt a fly, which I find to be absolute bullshit.

I looked over to Alex to see if he’d want to go a different way, but I couldn’t seem to get his attention. He was looking towards the floor, trying not to make eye contact with the bullies we were walking by.

But it obviously didn’t work. When anyone sees Alex, it’s like they see a punching bag and not Alex himself.

I turned my head just a bit to get a glance behind us, and I saw that all of the douchebags were looking our direction.

We made it this far and I didn’t really want to stop now so I pointed my head forward and kept walking. I was also begging to God that they wouldn’t fuck with us today. But of course, begging never works.

“Hey look, it’s Alex.”Brock said, stepping in front of us, making us stop in place.

“And his boyfriend Markie!”James and Jeremy said out, followed by a bunch of kissy noises.

“You know Mark, that you’re never going to get Emily right? She doesn’t like you! She likes me.”James said.

“No dude she likes me.”Brock said, pushing James down on the chest making him take two steps back.

James looked at Brock totally offended, I was kind of hoping they’d get in their own kind of fight so Alex and I could scurry off before any of them noticed.

But luck doesn’t work that way for me, James decided to let it go for now and pick on Alex some more.

“You know dude, if you killed yourself no one would even fucking notice besides your girlfriend here!”James said, thinking he was hilarious because he broke out laughing immediately after.

I decided to ignore his girlfriend remark and took a look over at Alex. He was still looking at the ground, he looked sad and I mean I would too…

Brock noticed that Alex wasn’t reacting to anything they were saying and decided to push it a bit. Literally.

“Why the fuck aren’t you looking at me, huh?”Brock said, giving Alex a shove.

Alex looked up, a bit angered from the physical contact that was made.

“Haha, whatcha gonna do baby? Fight me?”Brock asked, whipping his hands in the air, as if he’d give Alex the first punch.

Alex just stood there, a hint of anger hidden in his face.

“Awwww, guys! He’s scared!”Brock said, turning to the other guys, laughing.

Bryce took a place right next to Brock in front of me.

“Bet your girlfriend isn’t gonna do anything.”Bryce said, giving me a shove.

I took a couple steps back and got away enough to where all boys could surround Alex before I got my footing again. They basically made a barrier around Alex and Brock, making it almost impossible for me to get to and or see Alex.

“Come on Alex. Hit me.”Brock said, leaning down a bit holding his face out for Alex to take a hit.

Brock was a lot bigger and thicker than Alex. Alex would never win in a fight between him and Brock. Imagine all four of them…

Alex stood there angrily, fists at his sides as if he was considering the decision to punch him.

“Not gonna do anything huh?”Brock said.”Chicken.”

“You know you should just jump off a bridge!”James and Jeremy exclaimed out.

“No one would miss you! You’re worthless.”Bryce added.

“I bet you have daddy issues! Oh wait! Mommy issues tooooo!”Brock added.

“Does your daddy hurt you?”Bryce asked teasingly.

The amount of things they were saying were starting to piss me off too. It’s like they knew about his home life and how Alex was feeling, but they were saying the opposite of sympathetic words.

I wanted to punch Brock and the rest so bad but I’d lose the bet.

But Alex beat me to it.

I didn’t quite see it, but the next thing I knew, Brock was on the floor, hand to cheek while Alex was breathing heavily with one of his fists in the air in front of him.

Jeremy, Bryce and James looked back and forth between the two opponents.

“Dudes! What’re you doing? Get him!”Brock exclaimed.

In the next second, Jeremy and Bryce got Alex stuck in a corner and started to beat on him, while James was in front of me making sure I couldn’t near them or Alex.

Brock got up after a second of recovery and decided to join in on this beating that Alex was receiving from the other two.

I was starting to get really pissed and tried punching James out of the way but he just shoved me back. I tried jumping a bit to see how Alex was holding up and every glance I got, Alex was curled up in a ball taking the beating.

“Guys, leave Alex alone!”I yelled.

“What’re you gonna do about it?”James said, a smirk forming on his face.

“I’ll tell the authorities about what you did, they’ll take care of it.”I said, threatening.

James started laughing hysterically as if that was the funniest he had ever heard in his life.

“No one’s going to touch us kid.”Bryce said, listening in on what was being said behind him.

“We’re basically invincible. Everyone loves us here.”James said, throwing his hands in the air in the motion of “whatcha gonna do”.

“We don’t love you.”I said.

James face went straight,”We can make you hate us.”He said, threateningly.

I didn’t want to try him because I knew he’d do as he said. He could beat me to a pulp, like they were doing to Alex.

I’m going to be honest, this isn’t a best friend thing to do but… I wasn’t going to try and interfere and help him. I wasn’t going to get my ass kicked too, no way.

But I could just try yelling at them.

“Guys cut it out! You’ve hit him enough!”I yelled at them from behind.

“And we’re gonna hit him some more!”Jeremy said, at least acknowledging what I said. But that’s not the response I was hoping for.

I just stood there, hearing each hit be as loud as possible as a foot or fist connected with Alex’s body. It was painful to hear, I obviously couldn’t see, but I could almost feel Alex’s pain, but not.

I looked around my surroundings for something that I could use to try and help us both get out of this situation, all there was, was a fire alarm on the wall but I obviously couldn’t set that off, I’d get in huge trouble. I looked down one end of the hallway and saw nothing of use but then when I looked down the other side of the hallway I saw a person walking in our direction. I wasn’t completely sure if they were a teacher or just a student delivering something to the office, even so, they could report this. I stood there, not making a sound, watching the person walk closer and closer. I guess James traced off my glance because he started to freak out.

“Guys! Teacher!”James yelled.

He hit all their backs and began to sprint down the opposite end of the hallway.

The rest of them looked the other way to see there was a person there, and they started laughing and darted off after James too.

“We’ll get you guys again soon! Just you wait!”Bryce called down the hall.

I watched as each of them were pushing each other while running down the hall to try and knock one down and get them in trouble, but like they said, they’re practically invincible, can’t be touched. When I saw the last one dart around the corner, I decided it was time to check on Alex.

At this time, feelings of regret and shame started to find their way into the back of my head and my stomach. I felt guilty for not trying to save Alex now, but why didn’t I before then?

I looked down at the hallway ground to see that Alex was still in ball form, waiting for more hits, but luckily there weren’t going to be any more.

I bent down next to Alex and put a hand on his back.

“Alex…”I whispered.”It’s okay now, they’re gone.”

As I let Alex take a second to realize what was happening, I took a look back in the direction where the person was walking towards us and saw that they weren’t there anymore. They must’ve turned a corner or went inside a room… I don’t know but they’re gone now and they won’t be much of a help.

I decided it wasn’t important and that right now, I needed to take care of Alex. I looked back down on him and he was looking at me. He was still in his ball position but this time looking at me with eyes that were showing complete and utter fear.

“Why did you let them do that…”He whispered weakly.

I looked down at his face, feeling as bad as I ever have in my life. I just let my best friend in the world get beat up and I didn’t even try to fight for him. I’m such a coward.

“I… I don’t know… I’m sorry Alex..”I whispered to him back.

As I studied Alex’s face a little more thoroughly I saw that a tear had escaped his eye, and he wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“We need to get you to the nurse…”I saw quietly, starting to get up, trying to attempt and take Alex along with.

Alex then smacked my hand away from his body. I looked at him in confusion and betrayal.

“I’m trying to help you.”I said to him confidently.

“I needed that a few minutes ago, where were you then?”He asked me.

He had enough strength in him to sit up but at that point it looked like there was no hope for him getting up by himself. But he tried anyway, he at first tried to get up without using anything, but that failed and he fell right back down. He yelped in a bit of pain when his body hit the floor again.

“Alex let me…”

Alex shot an angry look in my direction,”Shut up.”He said to me.

I took a step back, trying to give him space, hoping he’ll forgive me a little bit in this session of struggle.

He tried to grab onto the wall and get himself up, he got himself up about halfway and was already breathing quite heavily.

I didn’t want to try and interfere because I was afraid that’d make him more mad but I was desperately trying to think of a way for him to forgive me even just a little bit.

I tried to grab a hold of his hand so he could have something to prop against but he gladly denied the offer.

“We need to get you to my mother.”I said to him.

My mother, if I didn’t mention, is the school nurse, which explains why she needs to be here early. She is a good nurse and it’s kind of convenient because if I get hurt or if I need medicine, she knows what to give me!

“You mean I do.”Alex said, leaning against the wall, still trying to catch a breath.

“Alex, I can help you get there…”I said to him.

He shot me another dirty look,”You haven’t helped for the past ten minutes and now you want to now that I’m all hurt and there’s no more danger?!”

He seemed really upset and I didn’t know how to fix it. I’m trying to emphasize for him but I just can’t right now, he’s too angry with me.

“I’m sorry Alex.”I said to him, hoping he’ll just leave it.

He rolled his eyes and gave a bit of a laugh,”It sure doesn’t feel like it. Now if you excuse me, I have to go to your mother to get checked because YOU didn’t try to help me.”

I felt hurt, I know that’s selfish for me to say right now but that hurt. I didn’t want to say anything to push any more damage to him physically and emotionally so I just let him do his own thing. He got off the wall and was limping down the opposite direction we were walking, down to Nurses Office.

I watched him limp and limp and limp down the hall for a couple minutes before I decided that there was no point in me being out here anymore and that it’s time to make up an excuse. I feel like I should tell the truth and say that my friend got his ass kicked because no one at this school cares for bullying.

But I can’t say that because I’m a little guilty of it.

I feel bad yes, I regret not helping yes, but honestly… I just didn’t want to get my ass kicked either. It was either, get hurt watching him get HIS ass kicked or try and help and end up with both of our asses kicked. I thought it would’ve been better for it to just be him but in the long run it would’ve been better mentally if we both got kicked.

As I was walking down to first period, I decided if the teacher asked that I would tell the truth. I am a coward for not trying to help him yes… I know.

I should’ve, because that would’ve helped him. With everything that has been going on with him it would’ve just helped him get a little bit stronger to know that there is someone there for him to back him up. But I’m sure now I made him feel like there’s no one now and I feel like a complete jackass for doing this.

But it’s not me who gets to feel these things, I’m not the one with problems. Alex is, and literally no one cares, so it just can’t be fixed.

And It’s not Alex’s fault, it’s just no one cares.

And honestly, sometimes I don’t either.

Chapter 5 - Alex

 

I slowly found my way to the nurse's office, or to Mark’s mother. I opened the door and the first thing I saw was Mark’s mother sitting at her desk clicking and typing away at her computer. When she heard the door open she looked up and immediately shot out of her chair and ran towards me.

“Dear god Alex!”She said.”What happened?”

She let me put my arm around her shoulder and we slowly went to one of her comfy beds she has in her office. Once I got laid down and as comfortable as possible I decided to lie to her.

“I don’t know Mrs. Phanelley. It was just some kids, I didn’t see who they were.”I said to her.

As the last word left my lips, I felt a feeling of heavy sadness and my eyes started to fill with tears.

I told myself right now wasn’t the time for this and that I should quit being a pussy and suck it up.

“Alex, you’re not lying are you?”

When she asked me this, I felt a little bit guilty for lying to her. She’s a nice lady, but I don’t really feel like she would do much if I told the truth. Mark sure didn’t.

“No.” I said painfully.

I looked over and saw that her face was pale and it looked like she wanted to cry. I’m not sure why, but she shouldn’t have to feel that way about me, it’s just Alex Glantias, school loser, everybody hates him for no reason, he’s repulsive, rude, mean, gross…

I tried rolling over to my side, so she couldn’t see my face, but when I tried excruciating pain started to pound all over my body. I yelped a little bit, as I tried bearing all the pain that was being taken in, again.

Mrs. Phanelley got a little worried for my bones I assume.

“Let me check if you have any broken ribs or something Alex..”She said quietly, standing up next to me.

I rolled over on my back and pulled up my shirt.

Mrs. Phanelley’s face basically went pure white when she saw how skinny I was.

She didn’t say anything of it though, thankfully, and just began patting away with her hands on my body. With each push, it hurt so bad, and I kind of wanted to smack her for making me feel all this stuff again, but at the same time she was trying to help me and it’d be good news to know I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital for a broken rib or anything. My dad would kick my ass dead if I had to go to the hospital…

As she took her last push, she sat down on the bed next to my legs and sighed.

“Alex, you don’t have anything broken thankfully… but… You know who did this, don’t you?”She asked me.

I felt my face go cold, and I guess color faded because she noticed.

“You just don’t want to start up trouble?”She asked me.

I just stared at her, it’s like she was reading my mind. I didn’t want her to know, I didn’t want anyone to know. The only people who do were beating me up. Mark basically was too, because he let them.

“No, I just don’t know who they were.”I said trying to lie again.

She turned her head and started to cry, but then all the sudden panic whelmed over her.

“Alex, your nose is bleeding!” She yelled as she got up from the bed and went over to her desk and got many many tissues.

She handed them over to me and told me to put them over my nose.

“Go to the bathroom and wash up okay?”She told me.

I started to get up and walk to the bathroom, but then decided to turn back and see how she was looking at me. I presume she thought I wanted help,”Do you want me to come with?”

I shook my head, walking into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door behind me and planted my back to the door.

I felt tears coming on again, now that I was alone they thought they could come back. No way, not now, I’m still in school.

I wiped away the tears that had escaped and made my way to the bathroom sink. I started to wash my face off from the excess blood that had flooded it’s way out my nose. I wetted a paper towel and began wiping, towel after another. By the time I was finished and threw that last one in the gray trash can in the corner of the bathroom, I saw that basically all the other towels were stained in a mixture of water and blood. I shrugged at the thought and someone should know that it was just a bloody nose.

I unlocked the bathroom and opened it up, and right there was standing Mrs. Phanelley. She startled me, allowing me to take a couple steps back.

“Sorry Alex, I was just here in case you wanted some help.”She said to me, her eyes glimmering with tears.

“It’s fine.”I told her.

I started to walk past her towards the door to get the hell out of here but she stopped me. She grabbed my hand and turned me towards her.

“Are you fine?”She asked me.

I hesitated with an answer. I didn’t want to say yes because she and I both know that is a definite lie, but I didn’t want to say no because then she’d make me talk about it.

I’ll be honest for once.

“No.”I told her, my face straight trying to prevent tears from showing.

She didn’t say anything, she had loosened her grip enough to where I could slip out and leave. I did just that. I walked out of the nurses office and started to walk to my first period class.

All this on the first day of school huh. Of course luck never runs my way.

It took me a bit to navigate myself through the hallways considering literally every spot in my scrawny body was telling me to quit moving because I hurt so much. But I kept going, I didn’t want to get in trouble anymore than I already have.

After a couple more minutes, I found myself in front of my History class. The one I have first period with Mark.

I stood there in front of the door contemplating whether I should just hide in the bathroom for the rest of this period or go in and have Mark try and make things better.

I decided I wasn’t going to be a dick today and let Mark feel bad all he wants, but I wasn’t going to worry him and make him think I died.

I opened the door, unlocked, thankfully. I walked in and everyone’s eyes were on me. The teacher stopped her lesson and stared at me.

“So, what’s your excuse?”She finally said breaking the awkward silence.

“I got my ass kicked in the hallway, I was in the nurse.”I said to her.

At least I wasn’t lying.

She looked at me puzzled and just nodded. She began teaching again, completely ignoring what I had just told her. Even though, she began to lecture, everyone’s eyes were still on me. I found my way around everyone’s desk to one next to Mark. The only one open. I assume he saved it for me.

I plopped myself in the chair, and once I was off my feet, all the muscles in my small body began to ache. It hurt but I just had to deal with it.

I just stared forward because I knew if I looked to my side I’d see that Mark was staring at me intently with his big brown eyes, begging to tell me what was up.

Due to me not looking at Mark, he began to try ways to get my attention. First he started saying “psst” thinking that would make me turn over. It didn’t. He then tried waving his hands in front of my face when the teacher looked away, but that didn’t make me turn either.

He then threw a piece of paper on my desk, I’d gladly read it considering I didn’t have to look at Mark.

“What did my mom say?”

I opened the small pocket of my backpack where I keep all my pencils and picked one out and began to write a note back.

“No broken bones. Just really sore.”

I threw it back to his desk when the teacher looked away again.

I turned a little bit to get a glance of what Mark was feeling. I saw him pick up the note and read it and his face lost a bit of color. He began scribbling again.

Once he was done he threw it back over to my desk, and I picked it up almost immediately.

“I’m sorry.”

I wanted to roll my eyes, but this is my best friend we’re talking about, but then again what he did wasn’t okay. Look what it did to me..

I just decided it wasn’t the time to hold grudges.

I wrote “It’s fine” on the paper and threw it back over to him. When he read it a small weak smile formed upon his face. I’m sure that’d help him sleep a little better tonight.

After that last note, there were no more notes during the class. And I still hadn’t turned over and looked at him. I just sat through and tried to pay attention to all these boring things the teacher was talking about.

When I heard the bell ring it kind of startled me, but then I realized it was time to go and I jumped up off my ass.

I quickly grabbed my bag and pencil and darted out the door without looking back. I didn’t really want to talk to Mark, I still wasn’t fully forgiving him yet. I’m still quite mad, it was a cowardly thing to do, especially since he says I’m his best friend.

But I won’t have to see him till lunch, which for now I can deal with.

Just wish something went my way for once. To not make me feel like this every single day when I wake up. I just wish something came for me to make life a little bit more bearable. Like… start a zombie apocalypse and make me have to survive it, or let me meet the girl of my dreams, or or… something. But deep down inside I know that it’s not the world who gets to decide if my life is bearable or not, it’s me. I have to decide and right now I’m not doing anything, but that’s always something too.

Chapter 6 - Mark

 

Alex darted out of class and didn’t look back. It’s like he wanted to get out really badly and was just waiting for his moment. I took my time packing up my stuff and walking out, considering the fact my next class was three classrooms down from the one I was in. I have to wait until lunchtime to see Alex again and try to apologize, again. Verbally this time, not over paper. It’s easy for me to know if he’s lying to me or not when he says it’s okay if I’m actually talking to him. But for now, I just gotta get through all these boring lectures of the day about classroom expectations and all this other shit.

 

…

 

The bell has rung and it’s now time to go to lunch. I quickly pack my stuff back into my backpack and make my way through the door in a bunch with other students. Once I got out of the classroom, I started to sprint to lunch in order to get there before Alex so he can’t try and avoid me.

I guess I was too focused on getting to the lunchroom and not my surroundings because I slammed against another person. We both fell to the ground and I realized the other person was holding a bunch of stuff and now it was scattered all over the floor.

“I’m so sorry!”I said, bending over and picking up their stuff.

“It’s okay.”The person said, but.. Something about their voice sounded familiar.

I looked up to put a voice to face and realized I knocked into Emily!

“Oh god, Emily, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get to….”She cut me off by putting her left hand on my cheek.

I froze in place and stiffened.

“It’s okay.”She said again, with a smile on her face.

I helped her pick her stuff up and got to my feet. I took her hand and helped her up. We stood there together smiling at each other, until our session was interrupted when I was shoved against a locker.

I just heard a bunch of hysterical laughter from behind. When I turned over and figured out who pushed me, the guy already has his arm around Emily.

Brock.

“Emily’s my girl you know.”Brock said, leaning in to kiss Emily’s cheek but she so gladly declined it.

“Get off me you creep.”She said, pushing him off her.

“Emily, come on, you know you want this.”Brock said confidently.

Emily shook her head and gave a sarcastic snicker,”Only in your dreams.”

“But I’m dreaming riiiiiight now.”Brock said back.

Emily smiled at me quickly, then turned to walk away. I watched her as she walked slowly down the hallway with all those books and papers in her hands. She must be a busy girl.

My train of thought was interrupted with Brock yelling in my face, “Never going to get her dude.”

As all of the boys started to walk beside me, they all put their hand on my shoulder in pity like they really thought I wasn’t going to get Emily to date me, ever. Little did they know.

I decided that what just occurred didn’t matter to me anymore and that I wanted to get to lunch. I really hate the fact that Alex is upset with me, I want to make it right. Isn’t that what best friends do? I told myself that it is the right thing to do instead of just leaving it alone, I really do believe that I should try and apologize again to let Alex know I am reallllly sorry.

Once I realized where I was, the one minute bell went off, signaling to me that I had a minute left before the tardy bell rang. I was only halfway to the lunchroom… I decided that I should start to sprint down the hallway in order to make, but I was stopped by my mother walking down the hallway the opposite direction I was going.

“Honey, slow down!”she said to me, just as I was about to pass her.

“Sorry mom.”I said to her,”I’m gonna be late, I have to go.”

She gave me a weak smile and then quickly asked,”Is Alex okay?”

I looked at her confused, “It’s Alex, I’m sure he is.”

She looked down at the floor then slowly back up at me,”Keep an eye on him.”

I gave her a nod, and she turned around and continued walking to wherever she was going. I figured it was okay to go now and turned and walked in my own direction.

I quickly made my way through the hallway and got into the lunchroom on time. The tardy ball went off right as my foot stepped over the line of the door. At least I wasn’t late! I looked around all over the lunch room to find Alex. Didn’t even find a speck. I checked our table, wasn’t there, I check the nerds table, didn’t find him. I checked all corners where no one sits, didn’t find him.

I checked everywhere. I even asked some cheerleaders if they’ve seen him, a few just laughed at me while others said they didn’t see him come in.

I asked Emily.

“I didn’t see him come in. I’m sorry.”She said to me.

I looked at her, kind of bummed out.

I analyzed her face, she was drained, she looked exhausted. She still had that little sparkle in her eyes.

“It’s alright, I’m just worried about him.”I said to her, taking my eyes away from her face and dragging them to the floor.

“He’s been kind of… Off lately.”She said.

I looked at her in surprise, she noticed too?

“What do you mean?” I asked her, seeing what her input would be.

“He’s just been acting kind of weird,” She paused, “Well.. He’s always weird, but just more uncomfortable with things.”

I understood what she meant, and yeah, that is the truth.

“Thank you..”I whispered, keeping my eye glued to the floor.

I felt something touch my arm, I looked up to find her hand in contact.

“If you ever need to talk Mark.. I’m here you know,” She said.

All I really could think about at this second was the fact she’s touching me. He hand is very warm. It made me realize how cold my own body was.

“Yeah.. yeah…”I said, still staring at her hand.

I was saddened then when I realized that Alex is somewhere else, probably still sad. He’s avoiding me because he knows me too well, and I guess this is my sign to just drop it.

I am not very good at that considering I am a person who thinks everything should be perfect in my life. At least I’m admitting it. I won’t lie about it because sometimes it’s something I’m proud of. My parents are still together, my house is always clean, I get straight A’s (mostly)... Right now all I really want is Emily to love me and for Alex to trust me.

Right now, both things seem impossible. But it looks like I might be making progress with Emily. Which is great, but… Alex.

It seems to just be getting worse with him. But I mean, I keep fucking up so I don’t blame him. It’s super hard talking to him because he usually doesn’t listen. He listens to parts, and takes this or that out and uses that to pick a fight or to make something positive.

It’s frustrating at times, but it’s Alex. The dude is still my best friend. And now at this point I am starting to miss him. God, I sure hope he’s okay.

Chapter 7 - Alex

 

Mark is probably searching for me, that I can promise. I usually hide out in the library when things are heated, Mark doesn’t know that.

All he’s concerned with right now seems to be his love life. Which is okay, but he’s supposed to be my friend, wouldn’t you think he’s concerned about me too?

I push the thought aside and focus on my being right now. I’m hiding between bookshelves, leaning against the corner of one while reading a book. Crank by Ellen Hopkins.

Books like this make me feel a little better about myself, even though this situation in particular is not real, it is somewhere in the world and it just makes me feel a bit better.

At least I didn’t get myself into this mess, I didn’t ask to be born.

I could just kill myself, but hell, that would be silly.

I disregard any kind of suicidal thought that came to mind and continue focusing on my book.

“Alex,”The librarian says to me, I jump slightly not expecting her,”We have to close up the library soon, we can keep it open a little more if you’d like, but we have to go to a meeting.”

She smiles and walks away.

She’s always been nice to me, but only in general, never tried to ask me any kind of questions.

Not that I would answer her anyway.

Oh well, no one’s had the balls to ask so I never thought of an answer I would give.

Do you think if I did kill myself, anyone would care?

I’d like to think Mark does, but he’s got his head up waaaay in his own ass…

Too many thoughts concerning Emily.

Not one concerning me.

Anyway…

I’ll just try to keep my head up. It always gets better after high school. I’m halfway there, just need to push for a little while longer.

That’s all I can really think about anymore.

The future, leaving this place behind.

I think about meeting a girl and starting a whole family with her, one that isn’t broken and fucked up like mine.

At this point I’m not sure any girl in the world would wanna shack up with me.

Maybe I’m wrong, but until that day comes, I’m convinced it won’t.

Anyway, thinking about this stuff is currently pointless, there’s absolutely no point to it at all.

I just really wish something went my way for once, but there’s also the fact that I don’t really try for that matter.

That’s my own fault, I know, but something could happen.

Some motivation preferably.

Motivation for something.

Chapter 8 - Mark

 

No sign of Alex anywhere. He’s probably just moving around from place to place so I won’t ever know he was there. But that can’t be it, because I’ve been asking around if anyone has seen him. I also have to consider the fact no one really sees Alex anyway…

I give up finally thinking about where he could really be. He could have left school altogether if I knew. I also know that Alex isn’t anything like that, kid wouldn’t skip a class even if it meant he’d get shot.

He’s a good kid… my best friend.

I stop thinking about Alex’s unknown hiding spot and start thinking about my next class I have to get to.

The bell has rung like two minutes ago so I have three more to get to the room.

I start walking up the hallway that leads to the Janitor’s closet and the Library. As I walk by, I peek in the window of the library just out of curiosity and I see Alex standing at the counter, checking out a book.

Butterflies flutter around in my stomach as I catch sight of him, should I wait? Or go?

I’m not sure how long he will be so… I’ll just go.

As I start to walk away, I hear the door creak open. I take a glance behind my shoulder and Alex is standing there with the door open staring at me.

“Mark.” He says.

I give him a half smile and I continue walking.

I don’t want to bother him, not anymore than I have. If he doesn’t want to talk, it’s not my place to keep trying to pry it out of him.

I’ll see him in a couple of hours. Lunch is done, he had his chance to see me. Now he’ll have to wait until last period rolls around. Two hours before that comes.

 

…

 

Boring, boring, boring! Boring I tell you. I’m pretty sure all of this information is going to be completely pointless in the max of five years.

I mean maybe not, depends if I go to college or not.

Mom has been bugging me about that speaking of…

But anyway, no time to think about the future, last hour here I come!

We’ll get to see if Alex is in his right mind and wants to talk now.

Maybe he won’t be, guess we’ll have to find out.

 

I enter the classroom and there’s only about three kids standing around talking to each other. None of them are Alex. I take a seat in the corner of the room, and put my back up in the one next to me to save it for Alex. No one ever saves a seat for Alex.

Minutes roll by, the minute bell has rung now and still no Alex. All the kids are in their seats now, getting a notebook and pencil out, ready to learn.

At the last few seconds before the actual bell rings, Alex rushes into the classroom and almost sprints back into the seat I have saved for him. At the speed he’s walking, almost running at, I quickly remove my backpack from the seat and sit it under my desk. He sits down immediately and looks down at his desk, not at me. He quietly and swiftly grabs a notebook and pencil. I watch every move he makes.

I’m staring at him intently, hoping that a creepy feeling will well over him to look up to see what’s going on.

But the more and longer I stare, nothing happens.

Chapter 9 - Alex

 

I know Mark is staring at me, but I’m not going to look up.

When I saw him as I came out of the library, I was going to tell him I wanted to talk but he just walked away so I didn’t even bother.

After all this time of us being friends, I thought he cared. Maybe he was just my friend out of pity. I’m not sure but I really don’t think he cares about how I feel, or maybe he just doesn’t want to hear it because it’ll make him sad or.. Something besides happy.

I can feel Mark’s intense stare burn into the side of my head. I refuse to look up, not at the teacher, not at him. I just stare at my notebook and write anything I hear the teacher say.

All the sudden, my hand stops moving. I lay back and slump in my chair, and I stare dully at the wall.

This is a sad way to live, isn’t it? It’s not right.

No one cares about you, maybe not even yourself. That’s how I’m starting to feel..

I finally look up, but only to check the clock. There’s about ten minutes of class left but at that point the teacher has stopped teaching so we can stack up chairs and getting ready for the dismissing bell.

I stand up while the other kids have already started to stack their chairs. I put my notebook and pencil in my backpack and zip it up. I put my hand around the base of my chair and turn around to put it with the rest of it’s family. Once I turned around, Mark is standing right there and I hit him with the chair.

“I’m sorry.”I say.

Mark doesn’t say anything, but instead gently takes the chair out from my hands and puts it away for me.

Once he put it at the top of the stack he comes back and picks up my backpack for me, I take it and put it around my back.

“I’m really sorry…”I whisper.

Mark doesn’t say anything.

“Mark.” I say.

He glances up, in the direction of the clock. Only a few minutes left.

“Why did you avoid me?”He asks.

“I needed time to think.” I reply.

“About what?”

I stare at the floor, too ashamed to look at Mark.

“You can’t blame me.”I say.

“Who said I was?”

“You pussied out this morning Mark… look at me.”I say quietly.

“What could I have done?”

“More than what you did…”

Mark seems to look fluttered, but doesn’t say a word.

“Mark…”I start to say.

Mark shoots a deviant look at me, furious, “Quit talking to me.”

My heart sank at the words and I just stare at the floor in sadness.

Why?

Chapter 10 - Mark

 

“Quit talking to me.” I say to Alex.

After snapping, I only felt slightly bad but at the same time, how could he blame me completely for what happened?

I don’t believe there was more that I could have done. I felt like I tried, didn’t I?

I guess that’s not the thing that matters, it’s Alex that matters. But I am so pissed he is blaming me for it all.

I’m not the one who beat him up. Does he not see how skinny and weak I am? I’m not a bodybuilder. I can’t pick up those guys and just throw them like they can us. Does he not realize that?

I think he’s just bitter because he got his ass kicked. Not that I wouldn’t either but… Come on? It’s not my fault.

 

Alex is staring at the floor, he looks very sad and slightly shocked. Immediately shame falls over me, why did I say that?

I’m still pissed regardless, it’s not my fault.. Right?

“Alex.”I say to him.

He looks up at me but doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”I say to him.

Alex just stares at me with a blank expression now. I don’t see anything regarding any emotion on his face.

He just nods slowly and turns to leave the room about a minute before the bell is supposed to ring.

The teacher stares at him as he walks out and then looks at me.

“Where in the heavens is he going?”

“He’s had a rough day, let him go.” I say.

The teacher says nothing but instead keeps messing with the papers on the desk.

 

The longest minute of my life finally passes the bell rings only a couple seconds off schedule. I walk slowly out of the classroom and down the hall to the door I normally go out of to meet mom in her car to pick me up, since she doesn’t like me riding the bus or anything of the sort.

As I’m about to push open the doors, someone grabs my arm. I look behind me to see who it is, I was kind of expecting Alex but in my surprise it’s Emily.

“Hi Markie.”She says to me.

“Hey..”I say quietly.

She pushes open the door for me, with her arm locked with mine.

She senses the sad vibes, “What’s wrong?” She asks nicely.

“Alex and I aren’t friends anymore.”I say plainly.

“Why not?”She asks.

“Kids a handful, I’m not even sure how I dealt with him all this time.”

She sighs, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrug weakly.

All the sudden she smiles, “I know something that might make you feel a bit better.”

I stare at her in confusion, “What is it?”

“You going on a date with me.”

My heart sinks, what did she just say to me?

“A date?”

“Well kind of a date, it’s at my house. My parents won’t be home, I thought we could hang out.”

My mouth shapes into a smile and freezes like that. My heart is beating so hard and fast I’m afraid it’s going to implode.

Is this really happening?

“Of course!”I exclaim,”I mean yeah sure, that sounds cool.”
She smiles and pats my shoulder as she lets go of my arm, “I’ll text ya the details.”

I smile at her, “Alrighty. Cya.”

She waves as I’m a few feet from my mother's car.

I’m still staring in her direction, watching Emily walk away and meet up with her friends, to I assume walk home.

That’s when I walk straight into the car, into the drivers door too, scaring my mother.

I look up and my mother has her head out the window staring down at me.

“Are you okay Mark?”She asks me.

I nod as I get up.

“Why did you walk into the car, were you not watching where you were walking?” She asks.

I shake my head, “I have exciting news.”

She smiles and tells me to get into the car so I can tell her as we drive home.

 

We’re about halfway home and mom asks me what the news is.

“Emily wants me to come hang out at her house sometime soon, she said she’ll text me the details so I’ll let you know but we’re hanging out for sure.” I tell her.

“That girl you have a crush on?” She asks.

I roll my eyes, “Mom!”

She giggles, “I’m just kidding honey, that’s amazing honey. You just make sure you let us know when!”

“I will mom, don’t worry.”I tell her, “I just hope it goes great. I really like her.”

My mom smiles, “I know sweetie. I would like to meet this girl.”

“You will when we start dating after we hang out!” I say.

“You sound confident in that.” She says.

“Should I not be?” I ask.

She pulls into the driveway, we’re finally home.

She turns over to me and ruffles my hair, “You should definitely be Markie.”

As we’re getting out of the car, she asks me something that makes me feel empty inside once again.

“How was Alex’s first day?”

I stare at her blankly for a moment trying to find something to say, but all I end up saying was, “Oh he said it was okay, but you know Alex.”

“Well yeah.. I don’t know if you know honey, but he came into my office pretty banged up. Do you know what happened?” She asks.

Panic wells inside of me, “Seriously?”

“Yeah, he was all bruised up. Nothing major though, but his first day….” Her voice trails off.

I stare at the pavement,”I had no idea…” I stop talking.

After the briefness of emptiness, we go inside the house and I go upstairs into my room. As soon as I get comfortable on my bed, my phone dings, notifying me that someone texted me.

I switch it on and Emily’s name shows up.

I open the messaging app and open her text.

“You can come over next weekend if you want, that’s when they’ll be gone.” She says.

I texted back, “What time am I going?”

“Whenever you want. You can spend the night too if you want.”

“Sounds great, see you tomorrow.”

“See you <3.”

The heart she sent makes my real heart pound.

I’m so excited it’s ridiculous. The amount of days, weeks, months I’ve been waiting for this moment.

I’ll just have to make sure mom is okay with me spending the night, I’m sure dad will be right on board.

As I think about how that night could go, I’m thinking about school tomorrow and how I’m going to deal with Alex.

I broke up our friendship.

Maybe it was mistake.

But I wouldn’t say so.

Things have been getting better for me.

Probably not for him though, but I don’t care.

I’m not his friend anymore.

Chapter 11 - Alex

 

I left the classroom right before the bell rang, I’m basically sprinting down the hallway only to turn back halfway to check if anyone’s coming.

Not a single soul leaves the room. I slow down as I sprint and all I hear are my feet tapping against the ground with each step and all the teachers giving directions on homework to bored kids as I pass each classroom.

Homework is certainly not on my mind, I just lost my one friend.

As the words left his mouth all I could feel is a stab in my heart, only because we’ve been friends for so long and that was literally just the end of it.

How could I not be upset?

I’m all alone now, literally no one will ever see me again.

I don’t even want to see myself.

All I really have is my mother, but… probably not for long with that drunken man slouching around.

Maybe I could take care of that for her, maybe I could do something for us.

The thought crosses my mind but I then look down at my own body.

I’m too much of a wimp, I could never pull off something like that.

It’s probably for the best, it’s a crime anyway…

I wouldn’t want to hurt my mother but an idea comes across my head that might be the best for everyone.

What if I just left completely.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.08.2017

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Widmung:
This is just a crazy idea I had for a book and my friend seemed to like it quite a lot so I thought I'd attempt and make a book out of it. I recently started listening to this song "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People (I know I'm waaaay late) but this idea was kinda inspired from that song. I know, kinda lame. I also wanted to point out that, that song was to make awareness of school shootings and haha, yeah that. This book might be quite triggering, so that's just a warning. Read at your own risk. Thank you all, and I hope you enjoy.