I hate my glass face

"Isn't life funny?Isn't it odd?We go through life living breathing,with our hearts beating.Yet we kill and betray all that we love and hate."Phantom Blake said as she took another hit of the weed she took from her stepmom's sock drawer.
"You are so wierd Tomi."Her friend Jesebel Kingsley,or just Jese, said and smiled her natural bright caramel hair showing at the roots of her dyed black hair.
"Here.How so?I mean I just say what everybody else is thinking."Tomi handed Jese the pipe as she said this,her dyed aburn locks bouncing wildly.
"Nobosy thinks the way you do Tomi,that's for sure.Your one of a kind."
"This the same person who can't say mexican right,right?"
"Shut up!Not my fault the word messican is hard to say!"Tomi stared at Jese with her large dark eyes.
Jese stared back lost in the black honey pools of her best friend's eyes for a moment.Jese always was in slight awe of her friend,who always seemed so at ease with the world no matter what that nasty bitch slapped her in the face with.The pale ginger swayed spellbound by the intense gaze of the classicly greek looking brunette.Then said brunette laughed her ass off when Jese fell off the bed stoned out of her mind.
"Feh.Lightwieght!"Tomi giggled and took another hit before cleaning out the ash and hiding the pipe in her friend's normal stash spot beneath her desser in a hidden compartment beneath the floorboards.
"And lovin' it!"Jese saluted to the cieling her feet propt up on the bed while her body relaxed on the floor.
"You know what!"
"What?!"
"Tickle!"Tomi pounced on the ungaurded fifteen year old on the floor like a cat capturing a mouse.
"No!Stop!Can't breath!I'm gonna pee my pants!"Jese gasped for air between bouts of hysterical laughter.
Tomi giggled and collasped on the ground next to her soul sister,only to jerk back up and run to the radio.
"My favorite song!"Jese stood up next to her only pount when she rediscovered her 5'2" hieght compared to her 5'8" friend.
Music flowed through the air,making Tomi spin around in circles in delirious joy.The words tugged at her chest and the heartbeat pulsed through her body making her dance.Jese in her high stupor danced along,smiling and giggling not minding the creepy music for once.Tomi sang along with the music even though the words in japanese instead of english.Tomi sat down and watched Jese giggle and live life to it's fullest even if it was just for a moment in their fragile world.
Then the ugly terrorfying sound of a cell phone alarm went off,dooming Tomi to her fate.
Jese stared saddly at the buzzing phone,all joy and warmth gone and dead.Tomi slowly got up and packed up her weed and her packback.Today was monday,now Tomi went to her dad's house where her stepmom lived.Jese hugged Tomi,sensing the horrid feelings roaring inside of her,wishing she could make them go away.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah,see at school.Bye Jese."
"Bye Tomi."Tomi smiled at her best friend and walked out of her house to the waiting car that seemed to want to swallow her whole and never let her see day again.
***
Tomi remained silent throughout the whole car ride to her dad's house,her stepmom,Felicity, taking every chance to either glare at her or ignore her.Finally she see's her house,that meant she could escape to do homework.Tomi was within a few steps of her room,her supposed safe haven,when she was called to the living room.
"Phantom."Tomi shrank inside when Felicity called her name.
"Yes?"
"What have I said about wearing black?"
"Um not to?"
"Yes,and that means?"
"Not to wear black?"
"Yes,I'm glad your not stupid.Now why are you wearing black?"
"Be-because..."
"Because?Well?Answer me!"
"Because I like wearing black!"Tomi bit out.
"I don't want to see you the rest of the night!"
"Fine!"Tomi snapped, and ran to her room.
A few moments later she heard a soft rap at the door.
"You know I love you right?" Felicity's voice said.
"Yeah."Phantom said subdued,her chest hurting from Felicity's fickle moods.
"Good,finish your homework and do the dishes.And look after those fuckin brats."Those 'brats' being her daughters and Tomi's baby sisters.
Tomi's chest tightened in hatred for Felicity.How dare she say those things about her own daughters!Tomi's sisters!Tomi's lip bled from biting on it to keep her outraged silence.
Once Tomi heard the rumble of Felicity's car coming to life and fade away Tomi calmly walked to the backyard to the junkpile, with a box of oily crayons in hand.Then she made sure that her sisters weren't hiding somewhere to spy on her,checking behind broken doors and heavy plywood.When all was clear Tomi picked up a piece of plywood hiding the glass door with the glass still in it and a half finished portrait on it and set in against stump and skillfully continued the portrait of herself on the glass.Tomi glared at the smiling face on the glass.
5
Tomi closed her eyes.
4
She pulled back her fist.
3
She breathed in.
2
She let her fist fly.
1
She opened her eyes,to find her fist unable to shatter the smiling face.
"I still need you.I hate you!I hate you!I hate that I need you to survive!I hate you!"Tomi screamed as silent tears slipped her eyes and down her cheeks.
Tomi fell to her knees her face in her hands.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 29.11.2011

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