Rosa and Ashley

Once upon a time, the sounds of racing footsteps were heard throughout these halls. Teenage laughter flowed freely as the sight of brown curls were glimpsed bobbing downstairs. The typical noises one so easily takes for granted are gone in an instant, leaving behind only their stark absence.

 

Such was the case with my beautiful Ashley…

 

As I sit on the window seat by the big bay window in our family room, I can’t help but reflect on past events. If I’d only known it would be the last time that I’d ever see her alive, I’d have held her close and never let her go. Maybe it would’ve been greedy or selfish on my part, yet I wasn’t ready to give her up.

 

How does one ever feel ready? How can one ever be prepared to lose someone they love so much?

 

I try to be strong for Ashley and carry on, because I know that she’d want me to. It isn’t through my own strength or power. I’d never be able to survive without my faith and the hope of seeing her again someday in Heaven.

 

Some people don’t understand how it feels for me to still be in mourning. They say, “Rosa, it’s been a year. You’ve got to stop clinging to the past and move on with your life.” They just don’t seem to realize that my memories are all I have left of her. I have prayed to God so many times to give me a second chance to make things right.

 

That fateful day, I woke her up for school, but she didn’t want to go. She said, “Mom, I don’t feel well. Please, let me stay home today.”

 

I insisted she get up and attend her classes. Reluctantly, Ashley crawled out of bed to begin her day. We exchanged our usual morning hug. Soon, she was on her way.

 

But she never made it to school. A drunk driver lost control of his vehicle and plowed into the driver’s side of her car. She was killed instantly upon impact.

 

Now, as I sit here with tears streaming down my face, I grieve for my lost child. My beautiful daughter, who had her whole life ahead of her and so many dreams. She will never accomplish a single one of them. She’ll never go to college or get married or give me any grandchildren.

 

And it’s all my fault…all because I made her go to school, instead of letting her take a sick day. Oh, God, what I wouldn’t give for one more opportunity to hold her and tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me, how much I’ve missed her.

 

If only I’d known what would happen…if only I could turn back the clock and bring her back to life. If only I could’ve prevented what occurred. I’d treasure and cherish every moment with her, because no one knows which one will be the last.

 

***

 

Sunlight filtered in through the blinds, rousing me from the deepest sleep. I rolled over to peer at my husband. He must’ve seen my troubled look, for he asked, “What’s the matter?”

 

I shivered, despite the summertime warmth. “I had the most horrible dream, Harry.”

 

He watched me through sleepy lids. “What was your dream about?”

 

As tears flowed, I forced out words I was afraid to say out loud for fear they’d become real. “I dreamt we’d lost our daughter.”

 

Suddenly, I threw back the covers, sprang from the bed and raced down the hallway. I knocked at her door, then entered. I let out the breath I’d been holding when I saw her familiar brunette curls fanning the pillow.

 

She stirred, glancing over at me. “Mom, are you okay?”

 

“I am now, darling.” I went to sit beside her on the bed as she sat up. I gathered her close into my arms, holding on for dear life. “Oh, Ashley!” I sobbed. “It was only a dream.”

 

“What are you talking about?” she wondered.

 

“It’s nothing for you to be concerned over.”

 

“Mom, I don’t feel well. Please, let me stay home today.”

 

“Yes, sweetheart. Anything to keep you safe.”

 

This was my golden opportunity to alter fate. I’d never really know whether my dream was a premonition or whether God had given me the second chance that I’d prayed for.

Impressum

Texte: Melissa Monroe
Bildmaterialien: MSN/Bing
Lektorat: Melissa Monroe
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.04.2017

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