Prologue

New years day 2015. The light swinging from side to side. A damp dreary room in which over a hundred of murderers, rapists, thief’s and scum have sat. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. The wait was not the worst, the worst was the big tall man with the devils eyes looking you up and down, up and down, up and down. His eyes pierce a hole in your bravery at the first look, at the first glance. He could just sit and they would spill the beans, but it wouldn’t work on me. His eyes may be painful to look at but something keeps me brave, my friend. My friend keeps me strong, the fact he ask me to remain silent is keeping me silent.
It was the war of silence. Who could stay silent the longest? Who would break first? Would I confess or would he start asking questions? Who knew? It was an open game. Either one of us could win.
“We know you know where he is. Where is he?”
“I don’t know what you’re going on about” I was lying, I knew what he was going on about, I knew everything. I know more than anyone. They are searching, searching for Mr. Alec Ferew. He’s been missing now for over eight months and the spotlight has turned on to me. They believe I know where he is, and they are right, I do, but I would never betray my friend. “Where is he? Mr. Alec Ferew could be in a lot of trouble and you know telling us where he is, would save him and you a lot of stress and bother”
“I swear I don’t know”
I will never betray my friend.
I never thought that I would be sat in an interview room at a police station under the charge of accessory for murder. Never. What would people say if they saw me now? They would think I have sunk as low as I could possibly sink but they don’t know half of it. They don’t know what I have gotten into. They don’t know the world I have entered. They don’t know and they will never know. It’s for us, only for us.

CHAPTER 1
The Buttons lived in the middle of the country, in a normal looking neighbourhood, in a normal looking house but they were not a normal family. A child was born and fed. A natural and beautiful thing to everyone but one family, the Buttons. Pregnancy and babies were a sin to the Buttons. To them to be given the trouble of raising a child was a punishment and so they treated it like a punishment. No love. No caring. No shoulder for a child to cry on. They gave this child an evil name, Lamia, which means "vampire" in Latin. Lamia never got a mention ever. Even as a baby, the Buttons treated her like dirt on the end of their shoe. They wouldn’t answer her cries, they wouldn’t feed her when she was hungry. She would be lucky to get a meal a day. She was lucky to remain alive. However, nobody would notice she was gone. The Buttons would see it as a gift to be relieved of this terror child and nobody else would know she even existed. But she survived… by a miracle she survived and she grew. She grew into a beautiful girl. Living in a not normal family, she lived a not normal childhood. She did every job physically possible in the house. Cleaning, tidying, scrubbing, shopping, cooking, and washing. If she or they wanted something done, she would have to do it herself. No matter what it would be, she would be the one to do it. That person is me. At the age of five I was saved from the Buttons and placed in an orphanage, to waste away, with others who either have no parents or have abusive parents. I sat alone often, in my own room. Alone. Solitary. I was being driven mad. I often stood in front of my mirror, looking at my bright red hair that flowed down my back. It went down to just below my shoulders. I went from foster house to foster house. Never really getting a real family. Someone to care for me. When I was young it stung everyday in my chest. But it started to fade, the hope that I would ever get to go that loving family. I still attended school, an I was glad. I knew without school I wouldn’t still be sane. I don’t love anything more than school.
I often get top grades. A* or A, but it always comes at a price. I have only one friend in the entire school and she only has me. We have almost every lesson together. Amelia her name is. She is isolated and bullied heavily by a group of girls in our year for being anorexic, but that only makes it worse.
Amelia and I spent most of our time together at school. We have all the same lessons and our lockers are right next door to each other. We couldn’t escape each other even if we tried. When I was allowed out of the orphanage I would often pop round to Amelia’s. Her family were brilliant. Her mother adored me – though I was sure that it was because she felt sorry for me. Her father ran a hiking goods store on the high street. It was extremely popular and so brought in a lot of money for the family. Then there was her older brother – Marcus. He was classic. He was the funniest lad in the town. You were assured a laugh when he was around.
Last of all, Amelia’s bedroom was huge. It was the size of the orphanage common room. She had a double bed furnished with silk covers and silk pillows. She had a walk in wardrobe, that contained every outfit imaginable. She had a sofa bed – that I slept on if I was having a rare sleepover – and also a large flat screen TV placed on her desk.
My room was the opposite. My room was a simple small bedroom. It had one single bed and a small desk – the size of a tray. The small desk was placed next to my bed on the far wall. The side of the bed touched it. The bed and the desk filled the length of that wall. The little stool that I had was tucked under the desk ready for me to pull out and sit on. It was one of the most uncomfortable stools in the world. I had no form of entertainment but a few reading books that I’ve read again and again. I wasn’t allowed to spend money on news ones. The orphanage staff wouldn’t allow “such ridiculous waste of money”.
The journey to the orphanage from the school was extensive. It took over an hour to walk back to the orphanage. Out the school gates, up to the main cross-section – 10 minutes, down the road right to the McDonalds – 20 minutes, walk through the fields – 10 minutes and then across the town – 20 minutes. Well, if I wanted to I could walk it in half the time but the longer I spent outside the orphanage the happier I felt. I hated being anywhere near the building. The building was a sight and a half. It was built of a pitch black stone, and looked thousands of years old. The wooden window frames were covered in rot. The glass was stained a cloud white.
Today was different. I had only just turned ten years of age. It was late September. The fields were starting to lose their summer flowers. It was starting to get cold and muddy underfoot. The rain was relentless. I headed slowly across the field, taking in every moment of freedom as I could. I heard a bark behind me. I turned. I could see a dog leaping about in the tall grass. I just kept walking. The bark was getting louder. I was expecting him to come running past me any minute. However a felt two great paws on my back forcing me down to the floor. My face slammed into the grass. Darkness covered over my eyes.
My eyes fluttered opened. I expected to see the dark dreary walls of the orphanage, but when I looked about I saw I was in the complete opposite. The walls were that of a caravan like place. I was lay on a sofa, covered by a collection of blankets. It was a caravan I was in, but it was a nice caravan. The kitchen looked like a proper kitchen and not just a sink and a kettle. Then the living area had the sofa I was lay on and a table with soft padded chairs circling it. Then a door into the bedroom. I looked down on the floor. Sprawled out on the floor was a large canine – a dog. It looked like it could reach over my head if it was up on it’s behind legs. It lifted up it’s head and barked. He scampered up and out of the caravan.
A few minutes later it returned, but behind him came a middle aged man. He looked towards me. He looked gentle and kind, with large brown eyes and long brown hair reaching down to his shoulders.
“Where am I?” I asked in less than a whisper.
“Just outside your village” he replied in a gentle tone, pulling a chair up so he could sit next to me.
“Who are you?” I asked getting slightly louder.
“Alec Ferew. And you?” he replied.
“Lamia Button” I replied in less than a whisper again. “How did I get here?”
“My dog knocked you over and knocked you out. I decided I couldn’t leave you, so I brought you back here.” He explained “I suppose I better take you home now your awake”
I nodded slowly. I knew I never wanted to return to the orphanage. And it must of shown.
“Don’t you want to go home?” He asked me.
“It’s not my home. It’s just an orphanage.” I replied so quietly I could hardly hear it myself.
“Well if you ever want a break from your orphanage, we’re here for the next two months so feel free to drop in” His invitation was a breath of fresh air. I had never had anyone invite me to anywhere before. I just nodded. I sat up and flipped my legs over the side of the sofa. I went to stand up but as soon as I put any weight on my ankle, it gave way forcing me to sit back down wincing in pain.
“Here. I’ll give you a piggy-back” he said turning around.
I climbed up on to his back. He picked up my school bag that had been placed at the end of the sofa. He headed out. It was only when I looked around when I realised where I was. We were in the field close to the forest. Except the field wasn’t empty anymore. A huge red and yellow tent was set up in the corner and around it was a forest of caravans.
“Are you a circus?” I asked him.
“Yes, Cirque De Soleil. Going around village to village showing off the talents of our amazing performances” he replied. I could just about see the smile of his face.
“Can I stay?” I asked him.
“You could stay for few hours, I suppose” he replied.

CHAPTER 2
He carried me into the tent. It was huge. It looked even bigger from the inside. Circling it was a collection of stands for chairs. The grass provided the floor. There was a group of acrobats practicing. Some were on what looked like a stretch of fabric that was dangling from the ceiling, while one was walking along a type rope and two others swinging from wooden perches.
“Wow” I gasped as I looked about.
“Pretty good isn’t it” he agreed. He headed towards one of the bottom seats on the closest stand.
“What do you do?” I asked him as he placed me down.
“I am the conductor” he replied sitting down beside me.
“The conductor? I thought that was a job on a train?”
“Well, yes, that also. The conductor of a circus is like a leader. He opens the show, introduces the acts, closes the show and takes charge of the performers” he explained.
“Is it a good job?” I asked half looking at him, half watching the performers.
“Yes. It’s the highest ranking job here. I love doing it”
“Have you always been the conductor?” I asked him.
“No” he shook his head. “I used to be a illusionist”
“Really?” I asked shocked. “Can you show me?”
“Only a quickie. This was my favourite. Simple, but my favourite.” He said taking out of his pocket a fifty pence coin. “Do you have much money?”
“No” I replied as he swirled the fifty pence coin through his fingers.
Suddenly it disappeared. He held up the palm of his hands so I could see that it wasn’t there. He took a bit of my fringe and tooked it behind my ear when he jolted.
“Are you sure you don’t have any money?” he asked withdrawing his hand. In this fingers was the fifty pence coin “You should check behind your ear more often”
I quickly felt behind my ear just to check, as the awed expression on my face slowly went.
“That was awesome, how did you do it?”
“A magician never gives away his secrets” he whispered with a smile on his face.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Two of the ground performers came over. They were both male. They looked around twenty five. Both had dark black hair, but one had a white stripe running down the left hand side. They were both wearing a red Gymnastics outfit. Along the sides was a collection of patterns made from sequins.
“Who’s your friend boss-man?” asked one of them, smiling friendly at me.
“This is Lamia Button. She is the girl that Choppy decided to knock over” replied Alec. “Lamia, these are the Gresley Twins, Liam and Gareth. They are our ground acrobats.”
“Hello” I said quietly.
“You having fun watching the practice?” asked Liam, the one with the white stripe on his head.
“Yes, it looks really good. I’ve never been to a Cirque de Soleil” I replied.
“You should stay and watch tonight’s show” suggested Gareth.
“I doubt they’ll let me out that late. I could ask to sleep at my friends and ask her to bring me” I replied.
“Then perhaps it would be best for another night. It would be unfair to ask your friend to bring you on such short notice” commented Alec.
“Perhaps your right” I groaned.
“Shall we get you back , your carers might start getting worried” said Alec standing.
“I suppose” I sighed, I attempted to stand but a burst of pain shot through my ankle, and I was forced to sit down. Alec turned and knelt down allowing me easy access onto his back. I clambered on.
The piggy back ride to the orphanage was excruciating. Every moment I knew I was getting closer to returning to hell. Moving further away from happiness. My journey home always feels like this, but today it is even worse. I can’t really explain what made today so different. The feeling I got on the way was so much more intense. More painful. Alec didn’t say much on the way. He just asked me every now and then what direction to go in. I often had the thought to “accidentally” tell him the wrong way but that would just be wasting his time. He had probably had enough of the little orphan girl by now. The guilt of his dog knocking me over must surely have faded.
The orphanage looked as dreary as usual as we approached.
“Geez, this is it?” he asked almost horrified at the sight of it.
“Yeah, this is it.” I replied. A smile appeared on my lips as I said, sarcastically “Looks stunning doesn’t it?”
“It defiantly has something. Perhaps it’s the cloudy windows or the rotten smell, but it has something about it.” He said, playing alone with my little sarcasm.
Before we even reached the door, it swung open and the head carer – Ms Carris – came rushing out, shouting and screaming at both me and Alec. Alec froze on the spot, shocked at the sudden outburst.
Ms Carris was a plump old lady, whose frown had been stained into her face. It was a constant frown. Her wrinkles were dark and deep, highlighting her age clearly. Her orange crop of hair shot out in all directions and her lime green eyes were always horrid to look into.
I patted Alec’s shoulder, wishing him to put me down. He did. He lowered so I could climb off, being careful where I put my weight.
“Where the blazing hell have you been? You are a good four hours late young lady. We have sent people out looking for you.” she screamed.
Alec supported me as I stood up straight.
Ms Carris turned on Alec, “And who are you? And what you doing with one of our children?”
“Ma’am this is Alec, he helped me, ma’am. I was knocked out and so he took care of me and helped me back here, ma’am” I replied for him.
“She’s sprained her ankle and needs to rest it. It should be fine in the morning” Alec continued.
“We can take her from here” sneered Ms Carris, clicking her fingers.
One of the younger carers – the newest one, Sarah – came out. She came and took me off of Alec. He watched as she started to lead me away.
“Wait” I said. I turned and gave Alec a hug and thanked him. “Thank you Alec”
“You are welcome my dear” he replied with a smile on his face.
Sarah lead me back inside. As we reached the door I could hear Ms Carris bark, “And you should get off this property before we realise the hounds”
“Sorry ma’am. I was just bringing her home. I will leave directly” It was faint from where I was but I could just hear him.
Sarah took me up to my little room and helped me to the bed. She fished around in a little plastic box under my bed for my pyjamas and then placed them on my bed. She headed out before I could thank her. She didn’t have a choice but work here. She was an orphan and she failed all of her exams – most of the orphans here do, so far I am the only one to be on target with other students. Because she failed she couldn’t get a job so Ms Carris offered her a job here. She didn’t have much other choice but to accept.
I lay in bed, not bothering to change into my pyjamas. My bed wasn’t very comfy but I dropped off to sleep pretty easily.
I didn’t normally have good dreams, mine are normally nightmares, but today I dreamt about Cirque de Soleil. I was the conductor, standing on a small little platform in the centre. All of the lights were shining on me. The crowds were on their feet, cheering, giving me a standing ovation. Alec was at the side line smiling encouragingly at me. Amelia was stood next to him, smiling in the exact same way, giving me a thumbs up. And then in the crowd was Mr and Mrs Button – my real parents – and the orphanage carers. They were in the crowd clapping. I could only look at them braggingly. They would never imagine that I could become a Circus star. I would open the show with a collection of magic tricks, just like Alec. I would then go on to introducing the acts. I would stand next to Alec as the different performances went on.
I woke to the alarm. The wake up alarm rang all around the whole orphanage. I groaned like usual.
I was the only orphan to walk my way to school. Everybody else takes the shorter route and so set out later. I leave a good twenty minutes earlier normally. Today I left a good hour before everybody else. I walked a different route. It should have been quicker, but the field that I crossed through was the Cirque field. I was surprised to see the performers knocking about.
As I tried to find Alec’s van I bumped into the Gresley Twins. They were walking through the camp in the opposite direction, chattering and laughing with each other. When they saw me, they cheered, “Hey Lamia”
“Hi, have you seen Alec?” I asked.
“He’ll be in his caravan. We’ll show you where it is” replied Gareth.
They showed me to a Alec’s caravan. I wasn’t far from it. Had I not bumped into them I would have found it, I had been walking in the right direction. I didn’t notice last time that the caravan was a glistening white with black writing ready ‘Mr Farrow’
At the door the twins departed. I hesitated and then knocked. There was no reply. I knocked again.
“Come in” came Alec’s shout.
I opened the door and headed in. Alec was pottering about in the kitchen.
“Hey” I said with a cheerful hop into the lounging area.
He turned quickly and smiled in my direction. “Hello Lamia”
“You did say I can drop by anytime” I commented.
“And I stand by it, anytime” he smiled. His smile faded “But shouldn’t you be at school? I like you visiting but not if you’re supposed to be in school. I’d take a very dim view of that”
“I’m running early so I decided to pop by. I have a good twenty minutes before I have to leave here” I replied.
“Did you run out of things to do or did you leave early for the sake of it?” he asked sitting down on the sofa. He pointed to the space next to him. I placed my school bag by the side of me as I sat down.
“I normally leave early anyway but I did leave a little earlier. I would normally leave twenty minutes early and I’d walk the way you saw me. But today I had somewhere to come and hang out so I left as early as I could. I hope you don’t mind?” I explained to him.
“Not at all. I needed to wake myself up. I’ve been walking about only half awake for at least an hour” he replied. “Do want a drink?”
“Can I have a glass of water?” I asked him. I didn’t drink much but that. I hadn’t tried anything but water. The orphanage carers didn’t buy juice or pop and so I haven’t tried it.
“Is that all?” he asked standing, heading over to the kitchen.
“I like to stick to things I’ve drank before. The orphanage don’t allow anything more than water for us” I replied.
He made a cup of coffee for himself and filled a glass of bottled water for me. When he handed me the glass I immediately took a sip. This water was different. It tasted funny.
“What’s in this?” I asked.
“Do you like it?” he asked back.
I nodded. “Yes. What’s in it?”
“It’s strawberry flavoured water” he replied. “I thought you might like it”
“It’s nice” I commented taking another sip.
“Do you have a water bottle?” he asked pointing to my bag.
I pulled out my water bottle and handed it to him. He took it to the kitchen area. He emptied out my regular water and filled it with the strawberry flavoured water. He placed it carefully back in my bag.
“Thank you” I replied.
We didn’t say much more. We sat, drinking our drinks. I looked at my watch just in time.
“I’d better go in case I’ll be late” I said picking up my bag.
“Are you sure?” he asked looking at his watch.
We both stood and turned to face each other.
“Yes. I have a few miles to cover. I’ll talk to my friend today and see if she would bring me one night” I replied.
“That’ll be great. We have a show on every night...” he started but I finished his sentence “for two months”
He patted me on the back and smiled, “A good memory. I’ll see you soon Lamia”
“Can I come over on my way home?” I asked.
“Of course. You’re always welcome” he replied.
I headed out the door, waving back at him.
I arrived at the school at the same time I usually did. Amelia was stood waiting for me at the gate. I walked straight to her.
“Hey” I said.
She had been looking out for me in the other direction. She jumped when I came up behind her.
“You came a different way” she commented.
“Yeah. I took a little detour” I replied smiling.
I didn’t mention the Circus until dinner. We were stood by our lockers, sorting out our books. I hoped – after a few hints – she would invite me to join her instead of me asking if I can join her. I wanted her to take me and I felt bad about using her this way but I think we’d both enjoy the show.
“Did you know there was a circus in town?” I asked her.
“Really? What sort?” she asked sceptically.
“Cirque de Soleil” I replied “Acrobats and stuff like that”
“Really? That might be rather good” she commented closing her locker. She might have fell for it. “Do you want to go to it?”
“Of course I do” I replied. “Who wouldn’t?”
“I’ll talk to my parents, you could sleep round and we’ll go to the circus one night” she said.
I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back and cheered to myself.
Of course my happiness was soon diminished. That happened a lot at school. It only took the few bullies to dampen a good day. A fellow orphan girl was the main bully. She was three years older than me. But it wasn’t me she liked to pick on, she liked to pick on Amelia.
I’d left Amelia for only a few seconds to go to the toilet and when I came back out she was pushed up against the lockers. My mind ticked. I ran to the orphanage bully girl and pulled her away from Amelia. I punched her hard on the face but that just spurred her on. She focused on me now. I told Amelia to go and get a teacher as two back up girls joined the bully. They pinned my back against the locker as she stated to throw punches at me. First my stomach but then she started hitting my face. She ripped my clothes as she threw me to the ground. She pressed her shoe on my cheek, holding my head down onto the floor. She climbed on top of me pulling my arms up across my back. Pain ran through my arms as she pulled them up so high they felt like they were going to be pulled right off.
Suddenly, I could hear the shouts of the adult teachers. I could feel her being pulled off me and my arms flopping weakly at my side. I was pulled up and brushed off.
I was walked to the headmasters office. Amelia was at my side.
I was to be sent home early. They asked me if I wanted them to ring the orphanage but I told them not to. I knew where I wanted to go. I didn’t want to go back to the orphanage earlier. That would be torture.
I headed to the Circus. I found my way to Alec’s caravan. My lip that had swollen was still twice the size it should have been. I could feel the blood dripping from a cut in my cheek. My arms were painful to move and my stomach was already bruising. I knocked on the door.
“Come in” he shouted.
I opened the door.
At the first sight of me he rushed to me. He pulled me to the sofa and made me sit.
“What happened to you?” he asked as he got some ice and wrapped them in a towel. He placed that on my lip.
“A girl from the orphanage was beating up my best friend, Amelia, so I pulled her off of her and then she turned on me.” I replied. “I was sent home but didn’t want to go back to the orphanage so I came here”
“That’s probably best” commented Alec.
He picked up a tissue and used it to wipe the blood off my cheek.
“How are you feeling?” he asked after a few moments silence.
“My stomach’s killing me but apart from that fine” I replied clutching my stomach.
“Lie down” he said, pushing my shoulders down. I lay back on the chair. He took hold of the bottom of my school top. He lifted it just enough to see where the bruising was starting to show. He grabbed another tea towel and wrapped it around a collection of ice. He placed it on my stomach.
I winced as he pressed it down. He decreased the pressure until I stopped wincing.
“It might bruise a little but apart from that you’ll be fine” he commented.
I just nodded, staring up at the ceiling.
After a few moments of silence I said, “I told my friend there was a circus in town and she suggested that we come to see it together”
“That’s good” he replied.
I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing on his sofa. He sat on a chair next to me, playing with his dog – Choppy. I even played with Choppy for a little while – throwing a ball down the length of the caravan for him to fetch. Being here felt more like being at a home. Alec started explaining to me some of the places he’s been. He’s been all over the world – America, Australia, France, Asia, Africa and more places. I’d never even seen pictures of some of these places. He showed me the photo’s of some of the places. It was amazing how I felt so welcoming and at home somewhere so different and new to me.
Alec introduced me to some of the other acts. There was a magician there – The Great Samuel – and he showed me his ‘escape the large can of milk’ trick. It was brilliant. He climbed into the can of milk and closed the lid. Alec locked the lid on top. I’d seen that it had been filled to the brim with milk so I knew he would have to get out eventually. Alec pulled down a screen so I couldn’t see the milk can, but I knew the only way out was the way he got in, the way that was padlocked. After a few moments, Alec lifted the screen back up. The milk can was exactly the same. It made me wonder if he’d failed in getting out. Had he finally met his match?
“So what do you think?” came The Great Samuel’s voice behind me.
I quickly turned to face him. He was stood there soaked with milk.
“How did you...?” I started looking from him to the milk can back to him. “That was awesome!”
“Thank you” he said bowing.
“Can you show me again?” I asked.
“Lamia, Sam has other things he needs to do ready for tonight’s show” replied Alex for him, grasping my shoulders. It seemed he was talking to Sam instead of me. Sam nodded and strode off without saying a word. He obviously got the hidden message in Alec’s words.
“That was brilliant, does he do that in the show?” I asked.
“Do you think he would skip his best trick?” he asked in response.
“I guess not.” I replied, hiding my embarrassment.
Alec looked at his watch and sighed.
“We should get you back to the orphanage” he said.
I groaned.
“What time is it?”
“Four. We both know your head Carer will have another go at me if I keep you any longer” he replied.
I slowly fetched my school back from his caravan and then endure the horrific walk back to the orphanage. How come every time I walk back it seems like I’m leaving home? Why did this journey always feel that way? I knew in the back of my mind why. The orphanage was nothing to be, but a shelter over my head. But the Cirque was more. It felt like home.
Ms Carris didn’t seem as bothered today, she still had a shout at us, but she seemed less stressed. Perhaps she was expecting me to return to Alec. Perhaps she anticipated it. I trod up to my room and sat dejectedly on my bed.
It took a week for Amelia to organise a sleepover. I was practically jumping when she told me – on Thursday – that I’d be sleeping around hers on Saturday. On Saturday night I would be seeing the show. We planned for me to spend Saturday with Amelia at her house.
I hoped out of the Orphanage as soon as breakfast was done, I wasn’t expected at Amelia’s until eleven so I popped round to see Alec. I spent most of my free time at the Cirque now. I had met most of the performers. The Gresley Twins. The Great Samuel. The Bendy Twenty – twenty extremely bendy people.
The Bendy Twenty were a collection of different ages ranging from Eighteen to forty. Ten were female and ten were male. The youngest – the nineteen year old – was a young lad, Bradley. He seemed the nicest. He had short brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. His outfit was a tight black gymnastics kit. There was a white strip of sequins going from the bottom left hand side of his chest up to his right shoulder. He kissed my hand when he was first introduced to me.
Type rope Tammy – I loved the name. She was the person who crossed the type rope. She was one of those super skinny, super pretty people. Her silky smooth blond hair was tied up in a neat tight bun.
The Switch Boards – A couple, a male and a female, swinging from one wooden swing to another. They did twirls and twists in the air. Both of them where extra strong – well, they have to be – and were covered in muscles from head to toe.
And finally, The Dropping Dancers – the dropping dancers weren’t dancer’s at all, they were gymnasts on fabric sheets hung from the circus top. Two females – both with red hair and bright green eyes.
I told Amelia I would get the tickets. Amelia handed me the money for her, her brother and her parent’s tickets. I took that straight to Alec who gave me five tickets in return – Alec said that I could get my ticket free. He also gave us the best seats in the house. The very front seat on the best stand.
As I headed at Alec’s caravan I bumped into practically every performer. All of them said their “hello’s” and then passed by. All of them seemed upbeat – they always did in the morning. They all still had the post-performance buzz from the night before.
I had gotten into a habit of just walking into the caravan without knocking. When I walked in Choppy was the only one that greeted me. Alec must still be in bed. I walked to his bedroom door and knocked.
“I’ll be out in a minute” Alec shouted.
“Take your time. I don’t have to go for another hour” I shouted back. I sat down on the sofa. I patted the sofa besides me and Choppy jumped up. I told him to get his ball but he just scrambled to the bedroom door. I sighed. His ball must be in there. I told him to come back and just sit until the door opens.
About ten minutes later, Alec came through the door.
“Morning Lamia” he said walking to my side.
“Good morning Alec” I replied with a big smile on my face.
“I wasn’t expecting you today, I thought you said you were spending the day with Amelia” he commented.
“I am, I just thought I’d pop by beforehand. Don’t forget I come to see the show tonight.”
“Oh, I don’t forget such an important thing” he laughed, “I’ll remember to pick you out for the volunteering”
“Great” I laughed.

CHAPTER 3
My day with Amelia was great. We went out on Amelia’s bike. Her brother came with us. We spent the day at the closest park and hung about. It was only when I was with Amelia that I could do this. The orphanage never allowed us to hang about at a park, if we get caught doing it we would be grounded for at least two months.
The most of the conversation was about the Cirque De Soleil. Neither of them knew what to expect so they were asking me the questions of what they would expect. I wouldn’t let myself give anything away so for every question I said, “You’ll have to wait and see”
Their parents cooked me dinner. Sausage and Mash. Proper sausage and mash, not orphanage rubbish. During the meal the conversation turned to the Cirque De Soleil, again.
“Have you ever seen a Cirque De Soleil before Lamia?” Amelia’s mother asked as we all took our last bites.
“I’ve never seen them perform but I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with the conductor, Alec Ferew. And I’ve been watching some of them practice.” I replied.
“You’ve been hanging around with the Circus?” asked Amelia’s brother.
I nodded. “Yeh”
“How did you meet them?” asked Amelia’s brother.
“Then conductor’s dog, Choppy knocked me over on my way home from school, and as I hit the floor I was knocked out. Alec took me to the Cirque and put me on his sofa till I became conscious. He showed me around, introduced me to a few people and then took me home. He said I could visit anytime so I’ve been going quite a lot.” I explained.
We had a few hours to waste so we sat down and watched a film. We watched it every time I came over. Johnny English was one of the best films I had ever seen. That was one of the disadvantages of living in an orphanage, you can’t have a TV, or buy new DVD’s.
It was only a five minute drive to the Cirque. I had given the tickets – even mine – to Amelia’s dad. He was in charge of that sort of stuff. The car park was packed with cars. I couldn’t believe so many people come every night for two months, it seemed incredible. I didn’t realise there was that many people in this town. Apparently so. We ended up having to park on the other side of the field they were using as a car park. We trod through the muddy field of cars to the big, yellow and red circus tent. The way was slippery so Amelia and I ended it holding on to each other, keeping each other up. I slipped and Amelia held me up and then Amelia slipped a few steps later and I held her up. Amelia’s brother slipped and landed flat on his bottom. Luckily for him the area his bottom landed was one of the only bits with grass on it, not a pile of mud. You could only just tell he’d fell over when looking at him.
Alec was stood taking in the tickets with Bradley helping him. Bradley injured himself in the practise the day before so he couldn’t perform.
When we reached the entrance there was a queue. I could see a wide smile on both Alec and Bradley’s faces. Amelia’s dad got the tickets out as we reached the end of the queue. It took only a few moments to get to the front. I handed my ticket to Alec who smiled like the Cheshire cat. He ripped the corner of the top of the ticket.
“Enjoy the show” he said to me handing me back my ticket.
“Thank you” I replied quietly heading forward.
Amelia’s family soon joined me on the other side. Liam and Gareth were some of the ones that were showing the audience to the seats.
“May I show you to your seat Lamia?” asked Gareth.
I nodded.
“This way”
He showed us to our seats on the front row on the best stand. All of the performers will be facing in this direction. I sat down as Gareth asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“No, I think we’re alright, thanks Gareth.” I replied to him, smiling my sweetest smile.
“Enjoy the show Lamia” he said as he headed off.
I could see the rest of the family looking about. They looked up at the stand behind us and at the other three quarter full stands.
“How did you manage to get these seats?” asked Amelia’s father as Liam showed a family to the seats to our right.
“It’s about who you know not what you know” I stated. Which was true. Alex had reserved these same seats for the last few shows ready for me. For the shows I didn’t go to he just picked a random family of five to upgrade.
We didn’t have to wait long for the start of the show. As the last few stragglers came in the light started to dim. All of the performers that had been showing people to their seats had vanished. Bradley came and sat next to me. He didn’t say a word, he just sat and continued watched around carefully.
Everybody was seated. Lights were out. The show was about to start.
The lights stayed out longer than anybody had expected. People were starting to whisper when one light shone down into the centre of the stage. Stood in this one spot light was no other than Alec.
He kept his head down and spoke in a mysterious and quite scary voice, “Ladies, Gentlemen, boys and girls, be prepared to be entertained. Prepare for the night of your life, because this is... Cirque De Soleil”
All light shot up on his last words. Music started. There was a flurry of activity. The Gresley Twins were flipping continuously either side of Alec. The Bendy Twenty – well bendy nineteen – were cart wheeling around the edge of the performing ring. The Switch Boards were swinging from swing to swing, flipping and twirling in mid air. And then The Dropping Dancers were twirling, being held up by the fabric alone.
The music came to a peak and then stopped. As it did, the performers stopped and posed.
The audience started to clap and cheer.
All performers cleared the space as the clapping started to slow. Alec stood his ground.
“We are proud to welcome you to the show. Now, may I have a three volunteers from the audience please?”
Alec looked in my direction. Now I realised why Bradley had came and sat next to me. Bradley pushed me up. He pushed me far enough forward for everybody to look my way and then sat back down.
“There’s one. Another two please”
Eventually two more brave people came up. We gathered with Alec.
“Right, volunteer number one, what’s your name” he asked.
“Lamia Button”
“Volunteer number two...”
“Brett Woodaker”
“Volunteer number three...”
“Jared Mallod”
“Right, Lamia, Brett and Jared, you are going to be my assistances for the show. Have any of you ever seen teleportation?”
All of us shook our heads.
“Well you are going to be three of the few that experienced it”
The Gresley Twins brought on two boxes, that would just be big enough for the three of us to fit in. They placed one on the right of us and the other on the left. Gareth was in charge of the one on the right, and then Liam was in charge of the one of the left.
Alec got, out of his pocket, three fabric blindfolds. He handed one to each of us. He told Jared to put on his first. He led Jared – who was the biggest of the three of us – to the box on the left. When Jared was in, Alec told Brett to follow suit. When Brett was in, he told me to do the same. I just managed to fit in the box.
I could feel the other two. We were so packed in that it was impossible not to be able to feel them. All I could see was the inside of the blindfold. I couldn’t even tell when they shut the door. I could hear a click so I presumed that was the door closing. I could just hear Alec.
“Transportation has always been seen as an impossibility, but not here. I will now transport these three from one box to the other, one by one”
My head started to spin. I was going light headed. All sense of feeling had gone, especially under my feet. And then ground was under my feet and space around me. I heard the click of the door. I heard a gasp and then a eruption of cheering. I was defiantly the only one in my box.
“Take off your blindfold Lamia” said Alec. When I pulled it off I saw I was the only one in the box. I thought there was too much space for all three of us.
“Will you step out please Lamia”
I stepped out and looked to the right where I expected to see the other box just to see a stand of people. I looked in the other direction and saw the box there. I gasped. Gareth shut the door to the box and lead me to Alec’s side.
After a few seconds, they opened the doors to both boxes. Brett was now alone in the box I had exited. Alec instructed Brett do the same I had. He looked about shocked. And then finally Jared crossed the gap as well. All three of us where shocked and stunned by what had just happened. It was incredible. He had made us transport from one spot to another. Incredible. He defiantly didn’t mention that he could do that.
Everybody in the audience started cheering and clapping. Alec shook hands with the two others and then with me. We were lead back to our seats. The Gresley Twins lead the others while Alec lead me to mine.
“Let me know afterwards if you feel slightly queasy or ill” he said as I sat down.
I nodded.
Alec went back to the centre as The Gresley Twins just disappeared.
“Now, it is my great pleasure to introduce to you... The Bendy Twenty”
The Bendy Twenty flipped and cart wheeled in the centre as some music started. Once there they didn’t stop they flipped and jumped into a large nineteen people pyramid. I couldn’t understand how they managed it with such an odd number, but they did. After a loud applause they flipped out all at once. I was expecting those at the top just to fall but all nineteen landed with style in a perfect circle. I could just see the gap that Bradley would have normally have been. In two they flipped from one side of the circle to another. They looked choreographed as three started to flipping at the same time. Suddenly the music stopped. All of them froze. Those in the middle of flipping froze in handstands.
A more upbeat tune started and all of a sudden they flipped and cart wheeled in different directions, some crossing the middle, others going around the outside and a few flipping down in between the different stands. It was hard to keep an eye on all of them. The routine was complex but impressive. I had never seen such a brilliant Gymnastic performance. Bending, flipping, twirling in mid-air, leaping and cart wheeling repetitively
As the music pecked so did the gymnasts, suddenly their performance seemed even more impressive and then the light went out.
The crowd erupted into a cheer.
Alec’s voice came over a loud speaker, “Next, to feast your eyes on magical occurrences is The Great Samuel.”
When the light came on, nobody was there. The only thing in the circle was a table of different equipment and his large can of milk.. When suddenly there was a puff of smoke in the centre. You could just see the dark shadow amerced in it. The Great Samuel stepped out of the smoke.
“Hello, hello” he said with a cheeky grin on his face.
I had never seen tricks like the ones The Great Samuel did. Some of the things I thought were impossible. Levitation. Making things vanish into mid-air and reappearing. And eventually he brought forward his can of milk. He pulled a random person from one of the other stands – a young lad about nine.
“What’s your name?”
“Billy”
“Billy, have you got any experience of escaping a can of Milk?”
Billy shook his head. “You’re not going to make me get in there are you?”
The Great Samuel laughed.
“Of course not, all you have to do is tell everybody what you can see inside” said The Great Samuel.
“It’s full of Milk” commented Billy as The Great Samuel picked him up so he could see over the edge.
Alec walked on with the lid and clear bag filled with Padlocks. Under his arms where two rings of fabric.
“And can you inspect the can and tell the audience if there’s any other way out apart from the top?” asked The Great Samuel.
Billy looked carefully around the can of milk, inspecting every nick and cranny. He shook his head and then said, “You can only get out through the lid”
The Great Samuel nodded. He started to climb in to the can of milk. Alec put the ring of fabric around the can of milk – on the floor. And then put another a few metres away.
The Great Samuel took a deep breath and then submerged himself. Alec placed the lid on and with the help of Billy he put on all of the padlocks.
Both of them stepped back.
The ring of fabric shot up, taking the can of milk out of view for all of the audience. Nobody could see anything. Then the other ring of fabric shot up. The one hiding the can of milk dropped. The can of milk was still padlocked. Everybody was deadly silent. I knew what was running through their minds – he had failed? Is he still stuck in there? Shouldn’t somebody go and help him?
Just then the other ring of fabric dropped revealing The Great Samuel, covered in milk. There was a gasp and then an eruption of cheering and clapping. The Great Samuel then bowed and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Next was Type-rope Tammy. She started on one side of the rope on a platform. Everybody looked up at her, in a deadly silence. She had nothing holding her up there. All she had was a pole to help with her balance. Her journey across the rope was slow and tense. Even from down here you could see the cool expression on her face. She didn’t look panicked or worried. She didn’t even looked like she was concentrating on the type robe.
The Gresley Twins came on next and did a collection of Gymnastics and martial arts. There performance was brilliant. They did a good collection that choreographed well with the music that they played.
The Switchboards and The Dropping Dancers go all together in a spectacular performance of flipping and twirling in mid air to music. The Switchboards were in the centre while The Dropping Dancers were on either side of them.
Slowly the music slowed. The Dropping Dancers dropped down their fabric onto the floor while the Switchboards were slowly lowered down.
All of the performers entered the stage as the audience broke into a round of applause. The performers got a standing ovation, started by Bradley. The performers took a bow. The lights went out. We sat for a few moments in pitch black. When the lights had come back up, they had gone. I looked about for any indication of where they were, but I noticed even Bradley had gone from my side.
I sighed as I stood up with Amelia’s family. Alec was nowhere to be seen. None of them were. I followed Amelia out of the tent and back to her car. I knew I could see them tomorrow but I wanted to see at least Alec now. As I opened the car door I heard him, “Lamia”
I turned to see Alec heading in my direction, Choppy close behind him. Amelia and her brother quickly leapt into the car at the sight of Choppy. I should have warned them that he was a big dog – they are absolutely terrified of big dogs. Choppy came to my side. He sat as I stroked behind him ear.
“Did you enjoy the show?” he asked.
“Yeah” I replied, slightly too loud.
“I just came to make sure you were alright. The other two are experiencing a bit of queasiness from the law defining journey” he said, with a slight smile on his face.
“No, I feel fine.” I said as I patted Choppy on the head.
“Well, you know where to find me if you start to feel bad. Have a nice night Lamia”
“I will” I bent down and gave Choppy a kiss on the head and whispered into the dogs ear, “give him a big sloppy kiss for me”
Choppy barked as though he could understand what I had just said. I took it as a ‘will do Lamia’. I hoped so. I would love to see Alec’s face when a dog as big as Choppy gave him a big sloppy dog kiss.
“Choppy” called Alec as he took a step away from the car.
“Can I come round tomorrow?” I asked as Choppy ran to Alec’s side.
“Anytime Lamia”
The car journey back to Amelia’s was hard. Everybody was tired and ready for bed, except for me. All I wanted to do was to go back to the Cirque and spend some time with Alec and Choppy. I kept my feelings to myself, though I couldn’t help but stare depressively out of the car window, watching the trees fly by.
Soon enough Amelia and her family found themselves where they wanted to be, but I found myself miles away from where I wanted to be. They dropped to sleep instantly but not me. I could never sleep feeling so out of place. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be in this super comfy air mattress. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to be in this warm and toasty house. I felt like an intruder in forbidden space.
When I finally fell asleep, my Cirque dream returned, just as it has done every night since I met Alec. It was strange going so long without having a nightmare. My nightmares were consistent in one fact – abandonment. In every single dream, no matter who it was, they was walking away from me. No matter how fast I ran I wouldn’t be able to catch up with them. I was glad to finally have gotten rid of them. But I couldn’t understand how they would just disappear the way they have. I wouldn’t even have thought it possible.
As soon as I was awake and fed, I said my farewells to Amelia and her family. They did give me a farewell back but all of them were about to drop back off to sleep at the breakfast table. I couldn’t help but hide a snigger as I walked out of the door.
When I arrived I was greeted by a heard of the performers. All of them asked me the same questions, so I gave them the same answers. I made my way to Choppy and Alec. When I walked in, I saw Alec on the sofa. Choppy was on top of him, giving him the big sloppy god kiss that I had told him to do. I stifled a giggle. Both turned my way. Choppy dashed to me and licked my cheek.
“Good boy, Choppy. Go and get your ball I will come and play with you in a minute” I said.
I walked to Alex and pulled him up.
“Good morning” I said, “Sorry for interrupting your fun”
“Not fun.” He grumbled. “I don’t know what had gotten into him, he just started licking me.” I stifled another giggle with my hand.
“What are you laughing at? I might just get him to do that to you”
“I’m not laughing” I said trying to keep my laughing quiet.
“Did you enjoy last night’s show?” he asked me, as he sat back down.
“It was brilliant. You didn’t tell me you could teleport people” I replied.
“I didn’t want to spoil the best bit. Sam had already spoilt his best trick and I wasn’t going to make the same mistake. Not in a million years”
“Well all of us where impressed”
“Thank you. I will pass on your message to the other performers”
Every day I visited Alec and the Cirque. I felt like one of them. I sat and watched as they practiced. I would help them if they needed it, like Samuel with his milk can trick or Alec’s teleportation trick. I felt happy, elated, genuinely upbeat when I was with them. The orphanage must have seen the change in me. They allowed me extra hours outside of the orphanage. I could spent longer after school with the Cirque and longer at the weekends. I was allowed to stay out even during meal times – I ate with the Cirque now.
Little did I know it wasn’t to last.

CHAPTER FOUR
Monday November 28th. The first set of snow had fallen. It had restricted my visiting hours. The orphanage wanted me home before meal times now. They didn’t want me freezing to death at the cirque. I savoured every moment at the cirque every day, just so I could mourn on it at night. It fed my dreams of the cirque, well, the one dream.
I had spent the last few hours playing with The Gresley Twins. We were having a snowball fight. I must admit it wasn’t fair, two male acrobats against one single fifteen year old girl. I did have Choppy but he wasn’t much help, he just ran around barking. The Gresley Twins were able to dodge more efficiently and make snowballs faster. Gareth would make the balls and then hand them over to Liam to throw. It was like being pitted against a snowball machine. It was clear they had won the moment they lined up their first five balls – we allowed each other to make five balls to start out with. But I didn’t back down until Alec came and took me away.
“Lamia, you’ll freeze to death at this rate” he gently scolded me. Right now, he seemed like a mix of an attentive big brother and a annoyingly worried dad. I couldn’t decided which he seemed like to me. I knew he was my best friend, not even Amelia could beat him there. But, I always saw him as more than just the best friend.
I remembered to bring a spare pair of clothes, so while I slipped into them Alec made me a cup of hot chocolate. As I sat down – in my clean warm clothes – Alec handed it over. He sat down next to me and sighed.
“What is it?” I asked not taking my eyes of the steaming cup of chocolate.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about Lamia. Just the squabbles of an old man” he replied.
“Well maybe it takes a young girl to fix an old man’s squabbles” I replied.
He laughed, but it wasn’t his usual laugh. It was a forced laugh, filled with strain.
I looked up at him to see if I could distinguish the overpowering emotion of his face. I had never seen such emotion on one person’s face. I could see on his face that he was going to tell me, but when he looked into my eyes he, for some strange reason, changed his mind.
“It is nothing to worry about” he said with another sigh.
I shrugged, pretending like it wouldn’t bug me that he wouldn’t tell. In truth, it hurt. I could understand why he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong with him. I always told him what I was thinking. I often thought I bored him to death with my lengthy moans and squabbles, but he always listened.
“So, anything happening at school?” he asked.
“You asked that question when I first got here” I replied slightly shocked. This was the first time he’d ever repeated himself.
“Have I?” he asked. He really can’t remember?
“Yes, I told you about the school’s teacher panto that is supposed to be next week” I replied.
“Ah, yes” Something told me he still couldn’t remember that conversation. “Well, I’m sure you and Amelia will enjoy the show”
Hadn’t he listened to anything I’d said today.
“Alec, are you feeling alright?” I asked.
“Of course, why would you ask that?”
“Because you just said me and Amelia will enjoy that. I told you earlier that Amelia was moving schools on Thursday,” I replied. “Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said today?”
“I’m sorry” he apologised. “I’ve had quite a bit on my mind”
“That’s alright” I replied as gently as I could. I could tell he wasn’t in the right mood to have his wrists slapped.
He looked at his watch and sighed.
“Lamia, I should get you back”
He stood. I looked at my watch. It was only ten past five. I don’t have to leave for another half an hour at the least.
“But it’s only ten past five” I moaned standing.
He took the cup of hot chocolate from me and placed it on the counter. I hadn’t even finished it yet. It was still half full.
“I’m sorry Lamia, but I need to you go. I have a few thing I need to attend to” he said.
“Can’t I stay? I’ll look after Choppy, or I’ll go and spend some time with Gareth and Liam or Bradley.”
“I’m sorry Lamia, but Liam, Gareth, and Bradley are busy as well, and Choppy needs to stay here on his own. I really am sorry Lamia”
We were both silent on the way back. It seemed odd. Every day we would talk on the way back, trying to make up for the evening of silence – my evening of silence. But today, he wouldn’t say a word. He just kept his head bowed and watched as he dragged his feet in the deepening snow.
As we reached the orphanage, he turned to me and pulled me into a hug.
“Good night Lamia” he whispered.
I couldn’t understand why he seemed so upset, so depressed. It didn’t make any sense at all. “Good night Alec” I whispered back.
When he pulled back, he gave me a weak smile, turned and walked away without another word. I watched as he turned the corner and vanished. I wished I could have felt certain that I would see him tomorrow.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to fall into my usual Cirque dream, but it never happened. I had a feeling I had lost everything for a second time in my life. But I couldn’t understand this new feeling. Didn’t I have everything? Didn’t I have someone who was like family to me? Didn’t I have a collection of people who cared for me? Didn’t I have the Cirque?
I knew I would soon loose Amelia as a school friend, but she is still going to be living in the same house as before and has promised to stay in touch. She had promised to let me sleep over and visit as much as I want, so she couldn’t be the reason for this feeling.
Eventually, the lack of sleep and the tossing and turning tired me out so much that I dropped into a dreamless sleep. Cirque dreams weren’t even an option, it was just nothing. Black.
I woke early. I knew better then to get up before the alarm went. You got in trouble if you did that – Don’t ask me why because I don’t get it either, we just do. Before the alarm went I fell into another deep and dreamless sleep.
I slept right through the alarm and didn’t wake until I was being shaken awake by Sarah.
“Get up. You’re ten minutes late to breakfast” she hissed.
“I’m up” I stammered getting out of bed.
She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
I quickly dashed around, grabbing my things, getting changed and having a wash. I shoved my breakfast down and headed out. I looked at my watch as I exited the orphanage doors. I had left at my ordinary time – the ordinary time that was before I visited Alec every morning. I didn’t have time to visit Alec. I would have to go to him later and explain. And so I found myself walking my old way to school.
It seemed strange how sad I felt just because I was walking this way again. I knew that it was only because I was late, and I was only late because I had overslept but it felt as though something was stopping me from going back to the field that the Cirque was in.
A long day passed. Amelia hadn’t said much since she had told me yesterday that she was moving schools on Thursday. Tomorrow was her last day. She had however twisted my arm into coming for a sleepover tomorrow night, as a goodbye and good luck sort of thing. I watched the clock carefully waiting for the day to be over so I could go and see Alec.
The minutes went painfully slow. They slowed as the day went on. The later in the day it was, the slower time went. Amelia misinterpreted my anxiety and quietness.
“Are you mad at me? For moving?” She asked.
“No. I just really need to talk to Alec. I overslept this morning so I couldn’t see him and he seemed so upset last night” I replied.
“You mean Alec from the cirque?” she asked, her face growing concerned.
“Yes, why?” Her concerned face worried me.
Did she know why he was acting so unusual? How could she know? But if she doesn’t, why does she looked so concerned? My breathing hitched when she hesitated. She studied my expression carefully before deciding to tell me.
“We pass them on the way back from the new house. We half passed them last night –”
“How can you half pass them?”
“We passed the vans but no big yellow and red tent” she replied.
“What you mean? How can you not pass that but pass the caravans?” I asked my nerves getting the better of me.
“They had taken it down”
“Why would they take it down?”
“Lamia, they’ve finished here”
“What do you mean ‘they’ve finished here’?”
“They have no more shows to do here so they’re moving on. Circus’s can’t stay in the same place forever. They would just run out of business, so they move around the country. They usually go from one side of the country to the other and then back again. Mom calls it the rocking dice motive. Going as far away as possible so then more of the audience are new and fresh to the show. They could go on for about six years before they go to the same place for a second time.” She explained.
I didn’t reply. There was nothing that I could think of to say. Was this true? Could they be leaving? Was that the reason for Alec’s strange behaviour yesterday? But why wouldn’t he tell me that? Why wouldn’t he tell me that he was leaving soon?
Perhaps he did. Perhaps he did in fact tell me but I – not wanting to hear it – unconsciously blocked it out. They couldn’t be leaving yet. They had only been here... what? A month?
They had came late September, that I can remember because it had been my birthday a week before I met Alec. It was around the 26th.
26th of September, 26th of October, 26th of November.
My breathing hitched. My pulse quickened.
It had been two months. Alec had said on our first meeting that the cirque was in town for a whole two months. It had been two months and now they planned to leave. I couldn’t believe it. How could they leave? Maybe he would take me with him. I wanted him to take me with him. Would he take me?
Maybe he was already planning too. Maybe his behaviour yesterday was a deterrent. Maybe he did that so then when he surprised me with the proposition of joining the Cirque I would be so stunned and dumbfounded I wouldn’t be able to stutter my thanks quick enough.
My colour started to return at that thought.
The thought of them leaving me behind wretched at my brain. I couldn’t concentrate at all on school or on the clock. My mind remained focussed on the Cirque. They wouldn’t leave me. Would they? Perhaps Alec’s old behaviour was his silent goodbye. Perhaps he didn’t want to leave me behind just as much as I didn’t want him to. Maybe that was his squabble. He was trying to decide whether to take me with him or to leave me behind. I had to convince him to take me with him. I just had to. That is what I would do. I wouldn’t let him leave without me.
I impatiently sat out the rest of the school day, and as soon as the final bell rang I made a quick stop at my locker, saying a quick bye to Amelia as I did, and rushed out of the school gate. I was practically running to the field the Cirque had been staying in. My heart was beating at twice the rate and my breathing was coming out uneven and guttery.
I was reaching the collection of trees that lined the field. I couldn’t see past them but I knew exactly what I would see. I would see the red and yellow big top being folded up or lay flat on the field’s floor, surrounded by the caravans of the performers, trainers, cooks, and general helpers.
But as I broke through the trees, I stood rooted to the spot. The field was empty. No red and yellow striped big top lay on the floor, no caravans were surrounding it. There was nothing but the marks on the ground that suggested a circus had even been in this area. There was no rubbish, no leftover food dumped on the floor, and no circus flyers flying about in the wind. It was spotless apart from the tyre tracks and the difference in grass colour where the sun had been unable to reach it – under the caravans and under the big-top.
They had gone. Alec had left. The Gresley Twins had left. Bradley had left. All of them had left. And none of them had even said goodbye. They had left me behind. I now understood Alec’s odd behaviour yesterday. He was saying a silent goodbye when he hugged me and wished me a good night. The little squabble was over whether to tell me that they were leaving or to leave me to find out for myself when I came to visit. I should have known this would happen. I should have know that they would leave soon. The two months had just gone so fast. I had hardly noticed each day pass by.
Tears were welling up in my eyes, threatening to break out, which they did just seconds later. They dropped down my pale cheek and on to the harsh cold snow beneath. I dropped to my knees as I looked about the empty field that had once made me feel at home. I knew it hadn’t really been the field it was the people. Alec, Liam, Gareth and Bradley mainly. How could they leave me like this?
The answer came to me quickly. They saw me as nothing but a little girl that Choppy knocked over. They felt guilty and so were trying to make up for it by giving me somewhere to go, but now they had done enough and so felt no compulsion to say a goodbye. I thought I might have meant more to them than that. I thought they saw me the same way I saw them – friends if not family. But obviously not. Nobody would leave friend or a family member behind. I had felt so much like part of their little family group. They had given me more in these two months than anybody else had in my entire life, a collection of people that I could rely on.
Amelia was someone I could rely on but not in the way Alec and the others were. I had no worries in confiding in these my stresses and absurdities. And I had often thought they were doing the same with me, but that must have just been me imagining things, as per usual.
I don’t know how long I stayed on my knees, in that one spot, but for the whole time tears were pouring down my cheeks into the snow below. Slowly I sank down even lower, lying on my side in the new snow. I was curled up in a tight ball as the tears came even more freely.
I could feel the day slipping, the night coming closer, the light slowly fading.
Darkness swept over the land. The little glimmer of light was only that of the street lights not far away, and the moon glistening off of the snow. I stayed curled up in a ball, not caring about what was going on around me.
I let my eyes close. I could feel my body shaking from the cold. How much longer would I be able to stay out here? I knew the answer, I would stay as long as I could, not relenting to the weather. Even if I have to wait ten years for Alec to come back. I will sit and wait it out.
I felt a hand on my forehead. It was warmer than what I was but still not a warm hand. I tried to open my eyes but I found my eyelids too heavy to lift. I tried a second time but couldn’t.
I could hear a muffled voice.
“Tell Mrs Carris, we’ve found her” I could just about make out what it said. “We’ll take her to our house”
I blacked out as two hands lifted me out of the snow.
Then next thing I can remember was the warm feeling I got as my senses returned. I could feel a soft sofa under my body and the warmth of what I could only presume was a lounge fireplace. I tried to open my eyes but failed again. No motion was possible. I could hear a collection of muffled voices.
“Do you think she met them just as they were leaving?” one voice asked. It was too muffled to realise who it was. All I could tell it was a woman’s voice.
“No, I don’t think they would have the strength to leave her like that. The conductor would have at least took her back to you, Mrs Carris” replied a manly voice.
“What shall we do with her?” the first voice asked, “Shall I take her back to the orphanage now or later?”
“Later, when she wakes she can return.” Replied a second woman’s voice.
I just hoped the last twenty-four hours was a dream. I wished to wake up to see the orphanage walls. I wished to walk out to the field and see the cirque was still there. I wished to go into the conductors caravan and find Alec playing fetch with Choppy. I wished to be able to play in the snow with The Gresley Twins. But something inside me knew it wasn’t a dream. Something inside me was trying to make me see sense. Alec was gone, and with him my dream of being a member of the Cirque De Soleil that I had spent the last two months with.
I didn’t have my Cirque dream that night, nor did I have a dreamless sleep My previous nightmares had returned. Though this time, it wasn’t my real parents, or any of the foster families I have been with that was walking away from me. It was Alec. I opened my eyes. I was back in the field. It was dark but just enough light was being reflected of the moon and snow for me to make out Alec standing above me.
“Alec?” I asked, not even recognising my own voice. It sounded so desperate. It was filled with so much sorrow.
He said nothing in return, he just turned away from me and started to walk away. I struggled to get to my feet and run after him. He walked at a slow pace but no matter how hard I pushed I couldn’t catch up with him. I was just slowly wearing myself out. I expected the field to end and then he would have to stop, but it didn’t. It just carried on stretching further and further. I could see the hedge and gate at the end but it seemed to move at the same pace as both me and Alec. Neither of us were getting any closer to it.
I jolted awake to find myself in Amelia’s lounge. I was on the sofa in her lounge. The lights were on, it must have been late evening. I looked about. Everything in the room looked ordinary, the only thing that seemed different was the expression on Amelia’s father’s face. It was a mix of relief and worry.
He had been sat on the single seat watching me, but as my eyes connected with him, he slowly walked to me and knelt down next to the sofa.
“Lamia, are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine” I replied in less than a whisper. I avoided his gaze as I said it.
“I’m sorry Lamia. I know the Circus performers meant a lot to you” he said softly taking my hand. He rubbed his thumb in a circle on the back of my hand in a reassuring fashion.
I didn’t reply. I just plainly nodded.
It wasn’t long until Mrs Carris was called and I was taken back to the orphanage. The carers wanted an explanation but I just remained silent. I had lost the will to talk to them. I would never tell them about what I was feeling or what I was thinking. They just shared a big sigh and had me carried to my room.
It took me a few days to recover from the cold I had picked up from being out in the snow for so long. I didn’t complain. I just lay in my bed, starring up at the ceiling blankly, having no intention to move to say a word.
A fresh wave of abandonment swept over me leaving me burnt and sore. I couldn’t believe I had left myself get hurt again. Ever since I was eight I had sworn I would not let anybody hurt me like that again, but I had let Alec do exactly that. I had allowed myself to hope for something more than what I could get, more than I had the right to wish for. I had grown fond of all the performers at the cirque. I allowed myself break my word for them, for the people that have just left me broken and unfixable.
My first week back at school after that day was the worst in the world. I didn’t even have Amelia there. I had missed her last day, and the goodbye and good luck sleep over. It was on this day I made myself a new pact. I would never ever grow close to anybody again. I would not let myself feel anything for them, just for them to break me.
I had lost not only Amelia but the welcoming feeling I got from the circus.
I often found myself wishing Cirque De Soleil had never have came to this town. I found myself wishing Choppy had knocked somebody else over. I found myself wishing Alec had made another girl feel welcome. Every time I did my heart ached. The thought of never meeting Alec or any of the others hurt me. But whenever I thought of them, I made myself think of the pain they had caused me and how they had abandoned me. A hatred was starting to grow. A hatred that only grew stronger as more time progressed.
As my anger towards Cirque De Soleil increased, my anger towards the other student did also. My irritation levels rose. I found myself hanging with the same girl that had beaten me up as I tried to save Amelia. At first I was her second, but slowly it changed, she became mine. On the odd occasion when I would spot Amelia outside of school – from a distance – she would shy away. She knew all too well that I had changed. I knew all too well that I had changed. I wasn’t the weak little orphan anymore that left the orphanage as early as possible and stayed away as late into the evening as I could pull off. I wasn’t the lonely child that stood with only one friend at lunch anymore.
I was the girl that had a whole wing of orphans on my side. I was the girl that had back-up when it came to a fight. I was the girl that was the last to leave the orphanage in the morning and the last to return. I was rebelling from being that little girl that was hurt by a collection of heartless travellers.
As time passed other circuses would come through the town. I gave myself and my troop the job of sending them on their way. They would wake to find their caravan graphitised with spray paint and their big top blowing away because the strings had been cut.
We were never caught. We would sneak out of the orphanage in the middle of the night, do our worst and then return before any of the carers had any idea that we had even left. We used to rip up all the flyers and posters we could find advertising the circus or spray over them.
All sorts of circus’s passed through. Those with animals, those with magicians only, those with acrobats only, some with clowns, some with only singers, and once a freak circus. It was on the odd occasion that another Cirque De Soleil would pass through. They got the worst treatment. My followers knew the reason for my deep hatred for circus’s and supported it. They knew what it was like to be hurt like that, we all did.
For those that went by the title Cirque De Soleil, the treatment would be worse. They wouldn’t just wake to find their caravans covered in graffiti and their big top blowing away. They would wake up to find all of that as well as their tyres punctured, their big top completely destroyed, any props that we find out in the open destroyed, and the stands in the big top graphitised.
All circus performers and helpers would receive harsh treatment and harassment out on the street. Every circus learnt that the hard way. One of their performers would go to the shop and we would converge on them. We wouldn’t lay a finger on them – we didn’t see them as worth the effort – but we spat at them and called them filthy little mongrels.
We all knew they wouldn’t understand our hatred towards them, but they didn’t need to. All they needed to know was that they weren’t welcome in this town.
The rest of the town though seemed to disagree. The invested in a police officer to station in the camp ground of any circus that has asked for permission to perform in our town. Those who didn’t ask didn’t get that privilege.
We still managed to avoid the police. We trod silently. We changed spray paint to ordinary paint. It didn’t give half the effect but it still did the job and it was quieter and cheaper. We changed our tactics with the big top. We would trick the policeman on guard to move down wind of the big top. We would then cut the strings, sending the tent flying in the direction of the police officer. As the police ran, we would continue our circus rampage and then disappear into the night and back to the orphanage. We were the master circus destroyers.
We presumed that after two years of circus destruction, no more would come into this town, but they continued to come. They continued to visit this town. We couldn’t believe that there was this many circus’s in the country. We knew if we stayed doing so little offenses more and more circus’s will pass through, but something held us all back from ever taking that step.
Until another Cirque De Soleil passed through. This Cirque De Soleil seemed familiar. I knew it wasn’t the one that I so foolishly spent time with. The big top was different, but every other aspect of it was the same. They had advertised the same sort of performers and had chose the same field to set up in. They crossed the line and so we decided to do our biggest act yet.
We knew better to increase the violence so we are going to increase the brains.
Throughout the next week, we collected every single glass bottle and shatters of glass as we could. We smashed the bottles and added them to the shattered glass. We placed all of it in a black plastic back – using gardening gloves of course.
We then collected as much barbed wire we could. Steeling bits off of fences and out of the rubbish tip. We also added a roll of normal wire that we took from the orphanage garden shed. We placed all the wire we collected into black bag ready for the night’s attack.
When the sun had set and we were sure that the carers were in bed we snuck off. Our first challenge was to deal with the extra observant police officer that had been stationed on the edge of the encampment. That for us seemed comical. We had a route for him to follow. A trick that we had seen on a TV program that would lead him far enough away from here for us to do our job before he gets back. That was for Cathy – the one that had once been Amelia’s bully – to deal with. My job was doing the vandalising.
There were twenty of us here tonight. Cathy was leading half of them while I was leading the other half. She was getting rid of the policeman while we were getting rid of the circus performers.
As midnight passed, Cathy started her plan to get the police officer out of sight. I never knew how she did it. But the police officer soon left his station and started after a dark teenage shadow in the distance. This was our queue.
Me and my half started our job. We scattered the glass shards on the floor, in and around the caravans and inside the big top. We put the barbed wire under all the seats and then unrolled the normal wire among the grass where the audience would walk to their seats. You couldn’t see the wire among the grass but if you were walking you had to be careful not to trip over at least once on your way to stand – we check it three times, average fall count was up to five times in one walk.
We backed off, just in time for the police officer to return, red, flourished, and puffing for air but without a captive. Cathy and her group had escaped and hopefully without letting the police officer get a good look at them.
We passed back through the way we came, leaving the circus looking like normal to the un-warned eye. We met up with Cathy around the corner from the orphanage and all at once the twenty of us burst in to laughter.
We hear of a genius two days later on the local news. Like we predicted the show the night after our attack was sold out. Three people tripped on the normal wire underneath and then twenty people had the back of their legs scratched by the barbed wire. None of them were seriously hurt, that was never our plan, but all of those who were ‘inconvenienced’ – how the circus put it – filed a law case against the circus. The circus put up a good fight for their innocence but couldn’t stand up against the evidence put up against them. They cancelled all of the remaining shows in this town, paid their fees and then moved on.
We all shared a secret smile and laugh at the success of our actions. Our smiles became even brighter and larger when we heard that the news had been shown on the national news. We classed all circus’s as being warned.
But even that didn’t stop them from coming. We continued our spree of graffiti and big top destroying and we soon grabbed the media’s attention. The media had no more idea of who had been committing these crimes than what the rest of the community had. Hundreds of news reporter came to our town in one single week. They asked for interviews with general public, including the police officer that was on guard.
“Who is doing this?” asked one reporter.
“We do not know at this stage, but we do know it is a large collection of adolescents.”
“Are they a threat to the general public?” replied the officer we had tricked only the other day. He had repeated these same words at least ten times already in the first two hours of his shift.
“The only part of the general public they are a threat to are circus performers. The police here advise that circus performers stay clear of this threat”
“Do you think that these adolescents were actually those responsible for the hidden garden wire and barbed wire in the Cirque De Soleil that passed by only a few days ago?”
“We do not know but we are not ruling out the possibility. If we find enough sufficient evidence that they are in fact the guilty ones of that crime then we will make a full apology to the circus and increase our efforts into finding out the identities of these trouble makers”
We couldn’t help but celebrate the fact the media had spread our warning over the entire nation. All circus’s should stay clear of this village now.
We used to get one every two months, now it has been sufficiently reduced to one every six months.
It had been four years since Cirque De Soleil had left me behind. I was stronger than what I was back then. I was more rebellious. I was no more Lamia Button the weak, innocent little girl that fell in a crowd of circus performers just to get her healing heart ripped into tiny little pieces. No shredded into tiny little pieces.
My heart hadn’t fixed itself. That much I knew. It had just learnt to cope. It was still ripped into tiny little pieces. Everybody could lay that fact as to the reason of my heartlessness. Even I blamed my heartlessness on the fact my heart was never fully repaired.

CHAPTER 5
Six years since Cirque De Soleil had passed through. Only four circus’s had dared perform at our town in the last two years. And they had only stayed for a week before being scared off. Our group of anti-circus performers had grown. Every year we added more of the orphans to our numbers.
September 28th. It was now exactly six years since I first met Alec. And I must admit he had passed completely out of my mind. We had had a good six months of a circus free town. We had been able to enjoy ourselves. We would spend our free time after school and weekends at the park. I told all of my followers to stay clear of bullying the other kids. I knew what it was like to be bullied and so I didn’t tolerate it.
It was on that day. It was a Saturday. We were all by the park when a collection of ten men walked into the park area. We watched them carefully – most of us where girls. It wasn’t the fact ten grown men had walked into this green park area that struck me. It was the youngest man that took my interest. He had short brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. The characteristics resembling those of Bradley. I shook my head, vanishing the memory of Bradley to the back of my mind where it has been for the last six years.
The men stopped at sat in the middle of the deserted football pitch. They had missed the match by about half an hour so I hoped they weren’t here for the match. They wore interesting clothing. Clothing that you would normally find people wearing about ten years ago. These people set off my warning light for Circus performers.
“Cathy, I think we have another target” I said with a large smile on my face.
Cathy looked in their direction.
“What’s the plan?” she asked with a little giggle mixed in.
“Complete and utter mockery” I commented. “Come on guys. We better get going”
We all stood from our perch’s on the play equipment and headed out of the park. I took one more look back at them from the gate. It had appeared they were watching us as well.
I was sure these were circus performers. Why would they be in such big groups if they weren’t? And why were ten grown men hanging out in a park in the middle of autumn? Either they were a new rebellious group in the town or they were circus performers.
In the evening I decided to take a walk. Nobody fancied coming along with me, and I wasn’t one to force them out of the door so I left them alone. I walked back to my usual alone time spot, a little den that me and Amelia made about ten years ago, in times before I met Alec and the rest of Cirque De Soleil.
However, when I got there I found my spot was taken by one of the park invaders. He heard my approached as so stood as I entered the opening in a special sort of bush that provided shelter above and around us. I stood still, at the only entrance when I spotted him. He smiled in my direction, but I stopped a smile from coming on to mine, a frown took its place. He coughed awkwardly.
“Hi” he squeaked. His voice was definitely one of a man, but his eyes sparkled like a young boy. He was the one that reminded me so much of Bradley, though I knew Bradley should be at least six years older than the person that stood in front of me.
“Hello” I replied, rather coldly. I was sure he was a circus performer. I was never courteous to a circus performer.
“Do you live near here?” he asked, ignoring the bitterness in my voice.
“Yes” I replied icily.
There was a silent moment that I used to get as much bitterness into my eyes as possible.
He coughed awkwardly again. “I suppose I stole your spot”
“It’s not necessarily my spot, it’s free country” I replied.
“Urm... I was hoping to bump into an old friend here. She brought me here a long time ago” he commented.
I stayed silent. Why was he talking to me? To him I was just a stranger.
“Perhaps you’ll know her. Her name was Lamia” he said.
My breath caught. He seemed to hear it and looked at me puzzled.
“You do know her?”
I nodded.
“Can you tell me where she is?” he asked.
I shook my head from side to side. It couldn’t be Bradley. They couldn’t be back after all these years. Surely they didn’t expect me to be waiting for them.
“Why not?” he asked, his smile fading.
“She’s gone” I replied in less than a whisper.
“Gone? Gone where?”
I shrugged my shoulders, not trusting my tongue to answer in the way I wanted it to.
“When she did go?”
“About six years ago”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, but I should go. I’m going to be late” I said turning to head back out.
“Wait...” he called.
I turned back to him.
“What’s your name?”
“Alex” I lied, ducking out of the hedge.
He quickly followed. He grabbed me and hand and turned me to face him.
“My name’s Bradley” he said.
I was right. He was the Bradley that I knew. The one that was with the Cirque De Soleil that had left me behind without even saying goodbye. That meant that Alec was back in this town. The man that I thought I could trust, just to be abandoned by him.
“I really should go” I blurted out.
The people who built up my hopes and then destroyed them were back. My anger grew. My anger towards those that hurt me burned under my skin. I couldn’t believe they had the guts to come back. To come back after what they had done.
“Won’t you stay?” he asked.
“No” I growled at him. “Leave me alone”
He recoiled at my sudden ferocity.
I stormed off away from him. I could just hear him mutter under his breath as I walked away.
“Women!”
How dare they come back. How dare they. After all this time, after what they ‘d done, they still have the guts to perform here. They were mocking me. Mocking the fact he had left without me. Mocking the weakness that had been brought out in me.
As I walked back to the orphanage I came across a performer pinning up a poster. He had his back to me as he attached it. But then he turned. My breathe caught. It was Alec. My anger left me at the sight of him. He looked not even a day older then what I last saw him six years ago. It almost seemed like a memory. He caught sight of me, and I swore I saw some sort of recognition in his eyes.
I realised then, that I had stopped walking. I averted my gaze to the floor as I carried on my walk. I had to walk past him. I had to bite the side of my cheek to stop myself from running in his direction and jumping on him to give him a hug and welcome him back. I stopped next to him, almost hesitantly and looked at the poster he had just put up. He followed my gaze.
“It’s on for a month.” He said gently.
A month? He was going to be here for a whole month? Not if I can help it. After all he had done, he was staying in my town for a whole month. I looked at the poster for indication of where it was. It was in exactly the same field. I narrowed my eyes at him.
“No circus has stayed for the amount of time they have planned” I hissed.
“Yes, I heard about that. Perhaps we’ll be the lucky circus” he chuckled.
He chuckled? Did he think this was a joke? It wasn't a joke. It was a warning.
“That wasn’t a joke” I sneered.
He looked at me with a somewhat confused expression. Recognition sparked in his eyes. I stood anxiously hoping he hadn’t recognised me as Lamia.
“You don’t like circus’s?” He said it as more as a comment than a question.
He hadn’t recognised me, he just recognised what I was indicating. I slowly let out the breath I didn’t know I was actually holding.
I shook my head, “No, I don’t”
“Why not?” he asked, more like a supportive father more than anything else.
“Why do you care?” I sneered.
“I would have thought that would have been obvious” He chuckled. “I am a circus performer, and I wonder why you have grown to dislike my kind”
“Dislike is a bit of an under statement” I replied holding my head high. May as well let him know what I really think of his kind. “I hate Circus performers...” I nodded towards the poster “Especially Cirque De Soleil ones”
“Why?” he asked, in half the volume as before.
“That is none of your business” I sneered at him. I started walking but he easily kept my pace aside me.
“Tell me, why do you hate us so much? What did they do to you?” he asked.
“They?” I sneered back.
“The circus performers, what did they do to you?” he asked.
Did he really not have any idea. I stopped and faced him. He stopped, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Do you mean what did you do to me?” I hissed at him.
Now recognition sparked in his eyes again. Shock and sadness filled his face as he recognised me for who I am. He recognised the little girl that his dog knocked over.
“Lamia?” he whispered.
I gave him one brief and fixed nod and then started walking again.
He was too shocked to follow. He stood there watching my retreating figure. A mix of emotions tainted his face.
When I entered the orphanage Cathy was waiting in the common room for me.
“What’s up?” she asked on first glance at me.
Was the pain that was already resurfacing really that visible? The pain that I had felt when they had left came rushing back like a tidal wave – knocking over every single strong structure.
“They’re back” I said simply. I didn’t have to say anymore. She knew.
“The men at the park, they are part of them, aren’t they?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
I nodded, starring down at the floor.
“Well, time for revenge then” she cheered, hoping back to her seat.
“I don’t know” I whispered.
“What?” she asked.
“I want an explanation from them before we scare them away” I replied. “I want to know why they just left. And I don’t care if it hurts. In fact, I hope it does. It’d make the revenge feel even better. Tomorrow night, we’ll do it”
She nodded, complete understanding on her face.
I waited until, dark had fallen, and the carers were asleep. I snuck out as quietly as I would have if I was vandalising a circus. I walked slowly to the field. I kept stopping, ready to turn back but then starting again.
When I finally reached the field, I felt six years younger. The big top looked exactly how it did the last time I visited. The caravans were even parked in the same place. I worked my way around the maze of caravans, trying to find Alec’s, when I came across a bonfire. Sat around it was all of the performers. I hid – kneeling down – behind the closest caravan. I could hear them talking. I was expecting it to be a story telling session, but it wasn’t, it was a meeting.
“She hates us” Alec sighed with anguish in his voice.
“She has good reason to. She was an orphan, Alec, she had already gone through so much. She looked up to you like you were her father. The father she never had. She saw us all as her family and we just left her” replied Tammy.
“For her own good” growled The Great Samuel. “She was too young. We couldn’t take her”
“She would have adored to have come with us” sighed Bradley.
They didn’t know the half of how much I had wished to go with them.
“We should have brought her with us, whether she was old enough or not” said Gareth.
“Yeh, she was family. And you should leave behind family” agreed Liam.
“Did she really say she hated circus performers?” asked Gareth sulkily.
“Yes” whispered Alec.
There was a silent moment.
“Well, what do we do?” asked The Great Samuel, “How can we make this up to her?”
Alec shrugged “I don’t know if we can”
Typical of circus performers to think it was over and done. Typical of them not even try.
“Huphmm” I grunted, a bit too loud.
They had heard me.
“Who’s there?” shouted Alec.
There was no point hiding. I came here for an explanation and I wasn’t going to leave without one. I stood and walked into view.
“Lamia” gasped Alec.
“Lamia?” I couldn’t help but notice the shock in their voices.
They all looked me up and down, trying to find any hint that I was still the little girl that they had met six years ago. I hoped they found none. I would not be the weak child that they met ever again. I would not let anybody make me that weak, especially a group of circus performers.

.....

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 13.08.2011

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