Dad Speaks To Ethel

Chapter 1

Two weeks had passed since Dad left to go live with Jesus. Diagnosed in May and Gone in July. Dad and mom had just celebrated their 48th anniversary when Dad found out stage 4 Bone cancer was incurable. I was with he and mom the day the Oncologist told my dad there was nothing they could do. " we aren't able to give you Chemo because your body is just too weak. The best thing I think in your situation would be to go home and spend time with your wife and family. Here is information on Hospice care"

I sat there with wet fire dripping down my face from my eyelashes. I remebered thinking I had to be strong for mom and dad. I held in the scream that was rising from within my chest. I looked from dad to mom. Back to mom to dad to the Dr. to the nurse back to dad.

" But remember Hospice care is without Chemo, without any Hospital care, life support......"

The Doctor spoke but my ears had stopped listening. It was the worst thing I had ever been through in my 35 yrs of life. I am not sure if that was the worst thing dad had been through in his 66 yrs of life because before the Dr. left the room I heard my Dad say "Thank you Dr. I agree that this is the best of options"

My dad was the strongest man alive and at the moment he proved it. He took the news that he was going to die very soon and actually Thanked the Dr. in return.

We left the office and I made no eye contact with either of my parents. I pushed dad in the wheelchair he had recently started using out into the sunshine. I had thoughts at that moment like would this be the last time he saw the Easter lily's bloom. I had to stop thinking because my mom was being so strong for my dad. She had held back just like I had in the sterile smelling office. I had to be stronger so they could.

Chapter 2

I stood over the fresh grave. I hadn't told my dad Goodbye. I had told him "see you later" before he had been carried by my brother, 2 brother in laws, 2 nephews, and my husband to his final resting place. Everyone had left the cemetery while the caretakers had lowered my dad and replaced the large hole with dirt they had just dug from the ground. I had went home and changed and came back to his grave. It was one of the hottest days of the year. Family and friends had left dad quicker than they had wanted to escape to their air conditioned vehicles. But it hadn't mattered to me I didn't have the air fixed in my vehicle so I had already been roasting with the hot summer sun.

Three months had came and went leaving me almost to dizzy to stand and face reality. I felt numb. This couldn't be happening. Mom was a widow now and I had no idea how she was going to be able to cope and go on. She had relied on dad for so many years and she had her own health problems that she herself would need the help from myself and others to be able to live on.

I stood over my dad's grave angry with myself. I hadn't been in the room when he had died. I had walked outside to smoke my own cancer stick. At the exact time he died the sky got dark, the thunder boomed, and lighting flashed to the ground. The earth seemed angry. I was to busy mesmerized by mother nature and smoking my cigarette when my sister had came running.

I just knew. I followed walking slowly behind other family members. I walked into his hospice room and realized as he lay, his soul felt like it was hovering somewhere above. I couldn't speak, cry, or even breath. My family stood around his bed for three hours until the funeral home came and got him. I had been by his bedside so much that I was sure I would be there if and went he left this earth but I was too busy watching that crazy thunderstorm standing out in the pouring rain when he did.

Chapter 3

Nineteen days had passed since dad had. For months I hadn't done anything but worry for dad, mom, and my family. I still worried for mom, felt like I always needed to stay home in case she called and needed something. I was only five minutes away.

Saturday had came and my husband suggest I get out of the house and get some fresh air. I thought about it and decided I would get out much more for him then me. He drove to a local Flea market. I had decided before I even got out of my seat that I would walk around and just agree that I liked whatever my husband liked. These days there were a lot of head shaking and agreeing to things I had no idea to what to. I was in some kind of numb trance. Like on cruise control or co pilot walking the face of the earth.

We walked and walked until my legs were shaking but I didn't want to tell my husband. I must have just been a little out of shape from becoming a bit of a couch potato.Vendors were selling outside and that was where the cheaper priced things were sold. You could find just about anything. One mans junk is another mans treasure. Suddenly I caught sight of a cage. A bird cage. I walked faster and seen the most beautiful bird I had ever seen. Bright yellow face, blue and green feathers, red checks.

" If you are interested in the bird she is $200.00."

The vendor who spoke walked eagerly toward me.

" What kind is it?" I asked

" A sun conjure, she has a band on her leg to identify her. "

" Why you selling it? "

" I am selling it for a friend of mine. Can't take care of it anymore, he is terminally ill."

I was more interested by the minute. I couldn't take my eyes off the bird. She whistled and started to do a dance for me. I laughed.

" She likes you."

" It's a girl?"

" Yeah her name is Ethel"

I looked at my husband. Being married for 12 years my husband and I could do face language and nobody would even know what we were saying. I could tell my husband liked her and I sure did.

I walked up to the cage to take a closer look.

" She is 4 yrs. old. These birds can live up to forty years if you take good care of them "

Ethel whistled again and did her little dance.

" Does she talk? " my husband asked the vendor.

" No she is more of a whistler. Real good watch dog though. She starts squaking if anyone comes around she doesn't know "

Ethel watched as we talked. She took her black beak and started rubbing it across the bird cage.

"she really seems to like you, she hasn't been this active all day. "

I looked to my husband.

" Will you take $180.00? " my husband asked.

The vendor looked from Ethel to me to my husband.

" she going to get a good home?" the vendor asked

" The best " I said.

" $180 it is then. Let me get her food, and show you how her cage works..."

I walked over to Ethel and said " your going home with us Ethel "

A weird noise came from Ethel. I looked to the vendor.

" Did you hear that?" I asked

" Hear what?" my husband and vendor asked at the same time.

"Nevermind must have been the wind" I said.

The wind had picked up and by the time we got Ethel and her things loaded in the back of the Blazer a storm had started. All the way home the thunder boomed, and rain pounded the roads and windshield. I looked back at Ethel to see how she was. She seemed fine. The storm brought me thoughts of dad.

" Happy?" my husband asked on the way home.

I thought about that.

" Well yeah sure I am happy we got Ethel. I've always wanted a bird like that. Thanks for getting me out today. I needed it and evidently Ethel could use a good home" I replied

Then I thought of the terminally ill person who had had to give her up. That must have been hard.


Chapter 3

Ethel was home and settled. She was quiet for two days then suddenly my husband had her door open to her cage and she flew out of the cage and headed straight towards me. I had to admit I was a little frightened. We had let Ethel be. Left her alone to adjust to her new surroundings. Ethel landed on the antique oak table next to the couch I sat on. She lifted one leg and watched me.

" what do I do?" I asked my husband.

" She wants you to hold you finger out so she can sit on you like a perch."

" Are you sure, how do you know she wont beat my finger off with her beak?"

My husband laughed.

I slowly opened my clenched fingers and held out my index. Ethel actually stepped onto it and whistled.

My husband and I both were amazed.

" wow she is light as a feather "

" she likes you "

"here you want to try?" I asked as I held Ethel out on my index finger.

My husband took a step forward and Ethel flew straight back to her cage, all the while squaking as loud as she could. My husband walked over to her cage and she actually pushed her beak out at him like she would bite.

" I don't think she likes me " my husband said.

Ethel flew out of her cage and landed on my shoulder.

"Wow" my husband and I said in unison.

" Love you "
" Love you "

My husband and I both looked at each other and said again in unison. "I thought she didn't talk?"

I held my finger to my shoulder and Ethel walked onto my finger.

" well I love you too "

" I'm sorry "

" I'm sorry "

" wow did you hear that?" I asked my husband

My husband stood with his mouth hanging opened just as surprised as me.

" Ethel what are you sorry for? " I asked

" I left "

" I left "

"huh?" I asked.

" I love you " , " I'm sorry" , " I left"

"Ethel what do you mean?" I asked feeling a little stupid but intrigued.

" I'm with Grandma "

My hand shook so hard Ethel couldn't hang on and flew to her cage.

" Oh my God " was all I could say as I looked at Ethel then at my husband.

" Dad "

" What do you mean? " my husband asked.

" Ethel said I'm with Grandma "

My husband looked confused.

" The last day dad was alive he was looking at the ceiling in the room and said he seen grandma "

" I love you "

" I love you "

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry "

My heart started to pound. The room began to spin. And suddenly there was darkness.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.10.2011

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Widmung:
In Memory of my DAD 12-15-1944-07-19-2011