Chapter 1

Chapter 1

There she was, not 20 feet from him. His heart froze with his step and he lost his breath. After so long, this didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be true, could it? He was dreaming, surely. Again.
She turned her head, her eyes moist and shiny. Beautiful as they’d ever been. Did she see him? Her wavy brown hair was well combed and brushed to the side, revealing her pale neck. Her lips parted a little, a single tear slipping down her cheek. She saw him alright. And she recognized him too.
She recognized him. But that could be a good thing or a bad thing really, depending on what she remembered. Something inside of him broke and his heart fell, everything returning. It felt like a thousand knives slicing through his chest all at once. His thoughts told him to run. He shouldn’t be here. Should never have come. But his heart burned with the desire to run forward, to hold her. To take in her sweet vanilla scent just one more time. To run his hands through her hair and taste her mouth just one more time.
Then she stood, wiping the tear with her black sleeve. She was in all black. Black long-sleeve top and black jeans with a little hole over the right knee. She took a long look at him and smiled, collapsing on the inside. He saw it in her eyes, the pain. The same pain he saw in them that day… that horrible day…
He wanted to run. Run to her. Run away. God, his mind was racing. She’d never take him back… would she? His mind flashed back to that night.
It was cold, she was cold… alone… her fragile heart broken in half. It was his fault. He was ignorant, careless. Wasn’t thinking. But he wasn’t in his right mind that night! He cared, oh yes he did. The guilt was what kept him alive. The guilt burned through his veins and clawed at his heart. The days were lonesome and the nights were unbearable, heavy with the memories. The good and the bad.
For so long, he ran. He didn’t know what to do or where to go. He just ran. To try and get away from the voices, but they followed. They never shut up. Not until now. He could never get her out of his mind and oh, God, he tried to find her. Though he knew exactly where she was. He just couldn’t find himself.
How he’d been able to gather enough strength to get here, he didn’t know. At this point, he didn’t care. He was glad. To be able to see her at all and know she was alive was a blessing. But to have to see the pain in her eyes again… to have to relive the day… he couldn’t take it.
He looked up at her. He didn’t recall ever hanging his head down, really. ‘Say something… do something…’ he thought. She furrowed her brows at him, her jaw tightening. What was she thinking? She wanted him to leave, he thought. She never wanted to see him again. But… he wanted to see her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted her to hold him and whisper in his ear how much she loved him… and that he’d be okay. Just like old times.
Her lips moved, but he heard nothing. He shook his head, “Say it again…” God, his voice was odd. On the verge of breaking. He hadn’t heard it in so long it was like hearing a stranger’s voice instead of his own.
She looked at him quizzically, “Do I know you? Do you know me?”
What? Had she forgotten him? No, it was a trick. She knew exactly who he was. She could never forget him or the horrible things he’d caused.
He stepped closer, “Danielle…”
She flinched back, “How do you know my name?”
He lost his breath. His heart failed him and crumbled within him. She really didn’t know him. No, it was a dream! She had to remember him! She knew who he was! She ‘d loved him… hadn’t she? It’d only been a year!
“Uh… Sir, are you okay?”
He shook his head and placed his hands upon her shoulders. God, to feel her under his fingers… it was heaven. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth but he cut her off, “Danielle… please stop this… you know me! It’s me! You must remember! Don’t you… remember… high school? The graduation? The beach we always used to go to?”
More tears trailed down her face, “No… Sir, you need help. I don’t know how you know my name but I am not the girl you’re looking for. I dropped out of high-school during 9th grade. I hate the beach and I don’t know you. Now please… let go of me…”
He started to feel angry. She was playing tricks with his mind! He tightened his grip and shook her a little, crying himself now, “Danielle! Please!”
“Sir, you need to let go of me and go away…” She said, pulling back.
‘I don’t know you…’ it replayed itself in his mind. She didn’t remember him. Why? Did something else happen after he left? An accident where she lost all her memory? How could this happen? There was no chance of him getting her to forgive him now.
“Dan-ielle.” He whispered as the world fell around him. The trees withered and died and the sun exploded in a raging cloud of fire and ash. The ground beneath him shook and cracked, creating an expansive gap in the ground, much like an open wound.
And in this he fell. Further, further, further still. He blinked a few times, but everything was a blur. He tried to grab the walls, but he was falling too fast. The friction burned his skin until his fingers bled and he screamed. No, not because of the pain but because of Danielle.

How could she do this to him? Forget him as if he was nothing? It was part of the plan. A plan on making him pay revenge. But wasn’t his sanity enough? And every day he spent crying and screaming and shouting and bleeding… doing everything he could to take it all back. It was pathetic. It was useless. As was what he did and what happened.
All he wanted was for those horrible voices to shut up… not to go away, no, they served as good friends when he was alone or down. But they drove him nuts and never let him forget. Never let him move on. Reminded him he didn’t deserve to be happy. Didn’t deserve her. Didn’t deserve anything until he paid.
‘Do I know you?’ she’d said. She didn’t remember.
She didn’t remember me….

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I couldn’t move. Every part of my body was limp and heavy, my bones broken. My cheeks were damp with tears and my clothes stained red. It was dark and I had no idea where I was. All I was aware of was the searing pain in my chest and the two dark eyes watching me from the shadows. The fear, oh how I was afraid. Scared shitless. I still couldn’t move. I tried and tried, I pleaded for my legs to work with me and let me stand. To run. But no, they wouldn’t listen. I lie still on the cold forest floor.
For the longest time I lie there. Wishing I were anywhere but there. Wishing those eyes weren’t watching me so intensely. Wishing I could move or scream. But all I could do was cry.
Something grabbed my hair, yanking on it. Something metal and sharp was pressed against my throat. I choked out “Please don’t do this! Please!” and I tried to kick and punch and grab whatever I could but to no prevail. Whoever was doing this held me down firmly. They shouted, but I heard nothing. They were going to kill me, I knew it. My whole body knew it. It screamed and ached.
A flash of light and my breathing ceased. My eyes flickered open and I was floating. Floating. Where was I going? I looked around, up, down and all I saw was a strange face with pale skin and light, messed up hair. No, I wasn’t floating. I was being carried. By who? Who was this? Where was he taking me? I cried and thrust about. I shouted, yet nothing happened. The man ignored my inquiries and pressed on.
For the shortest amount of time I was air-born. Until I met a hard cement. Everything was bright. Too bright. Fuzzy. I was dazed and exhausted.

“Danielle.”
I shook my head and squirmed at little at her fingers brushing against my cheek, “No!”
“DANIELLE!”
“Who are you?!” I shouted, my eyes snapping open at Jaclyn towering over me. I gulped and sat up straight, shaking off the fear. The dream that had felt so real. But it was just like all the other dreams I’d had.
“Danielle? Are you okay?” She whispered, taking a seat next to be on the small twin bed. She put her hand on mine and squeezed, the worry spread across her face as plain as day. Her hazel eyes were set on me, taking in every one of my movements, my expression.
“Jaclyn…” I sobbed, burying my face in her shoulder, “The nightmare… it’s back…”
She held me close and tight, kissing my forehead, “It’s okay, Danielle… it’ll be okay… how about we eat out this morning? Want to go to that diner down the street you love?”
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and nodded, putting on a fake little smile. I haven’t been able to hold a real smile for a long time. At least, not since the day I woke up in the hospital, not knowing who I was or where I was. That had been about 10 months ago. I still remembered very little. Jaclyn barely told me anything. Nothing I could trust or believe, that is.

Jaclyn

The nightmares were coming back again. Which meant more pills. I sighed and merely glanced over at Danielle, who was focusing intently at something out the window. She always stared out the window during a drive to think about things. Poor Danielle. I felt sorry for her, really. She’s had a rough past. But thanks to me, it was over now and she was happy.
We pulled into the parking lot of Maria’s diner, a fairly large place on the corner of the Wal-Mart shopping center with its exterior painted brown and its interior dimly lit with orange tinted lights. Danielle found a table at the back to sit at.
“Danielle, you okay?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“You’ve been… well, off since you got home yesterday… did something happen?”
Her skin grew a shade lighter and she shifted her gaze out the window, “No. I’m fine.”
She was lying. Something happened. That much I could see, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me anything. She never said much. She’d been more introverted ever since I brought her home from the hospital. I don’t like to think about it.
“Okay, Danielle, you know you can always talk to me…” The line was so cliché, but true and she needed to know that.
She sighed, “I know. You say that every day.”
The waiter, a fair woman in her mid-thirties with a blonde pony-tail and smeared mascara finally waited us and Danielle ordered the usual – chicken salad sandwich with a side of onion rings. I ordered a small bowl of chicken noodle soup.
We ate in silence, like always. She preferred it and so did I. Talking to her made me feel awkward and guilty. Even more so that I could never get her to forgive me because she didn’t even know what I’d done.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” She said, standing up while her chair squeaked against the wooden flooring of the diner. All the chairs here did. Years of wear had rendered them useless and weak, but the woman who owned the joint ( granddaughter of Maria ) was a penny-pincher and refused to buy new chairs or tables until the former ones broke beyond repair. That woman always annoyed me. I was poor and I wasn’t even that much of a cheapskate.
“Alright.” I said, watching her amble to the bathroom.
An odd feeling washed over me in that instant. An odd yet familiar feeling. One I hadn’t felt for a long time.
He’s here.
I looked around. Nothing. Just an old couple fighting in the corner table. Turn. There he was. Just stepped in the diner, his eyes darting around, searching. He was here for her, no doubt. He couldn’t take her! I wouldn’t let him ruin her again! I tried to duck out of view, but he caught me and was heading my way.
“Jaclyn.” He whispered once he was in arm’s length of the table. His clothes were dirty and raggedy, his hair now long, dark and mangled. His eyes, once full of life, now empty and dark. Like his heart.
“Chris, why are you here?” I growled, avoiding his gaze. I had to make him leave before Danielle came back.
“We need to talk.” He muttered coldly, his eyes fixed on me.
“You need to leave before she sees you.”
“Please talk to me. I’m sorry for everything. That’s why I’m here. I just have some questions.” I remained silent, still staring at my empty bowl on the table. It was his fault. Everything. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, he deserved torture. The memories were unburying themselves within me, my veins boiling with the rage.
“Jaclyn… meet me at the docks tonight at 9… I won’t force you to but I need your help… please…” He stood there, waiting awkwardly for my reply. I just looked at him. A few silent moments passed before he nodded, finally getting the hint, and left the diner.
Suddenly I felt so alone and cold. Helpless, unsafe. Some things never change, I guess.

Chris

To the edge of Meldridge, I remembered from when I still lived in this town with Danielle a year ago, was a bunch of abandoned warehouses, an abandoned shipyard and docks. The place was foreclosed several years ago and was just left to decay and rot on its own. Nobody ever took over. Nowadays, hobos live in the shipyard, and all the warehouses are padlocked, except one, which a group of people have taken over, whom I suspected to be a gang.
But on the dock in the shipyard, I waited. I paced. I sat. I talked to myself. Come on, Jaclyn. Surely you’ll find it in your heart to help me. Hours passed with no sign of her. 8:00… 8:30… 9:00… 9:30… 10:00.
“Why did you come back?” She hissed, finally stepping into view. She was still wearing what she wore at the diner earlier. Navy jeans and black shirt. Dark hair up in a sloppy pony tail.
“For her forgiveness. I never meant to put her through what happened.”
“The best thing you can do now is leave and never come back. Your being here will stir up things and pain us all the more.” She glared at me coldly.
“She doesn’t even know me anymore. Why doesn’t she remember?” I stepped closer to her. I could detect the pain and fear in her eyes. That fear turned to anger as realization seeped in.
“When and where did she see you? WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?!” She shouted, her eyes moist and her voice trembling. I wanted to hug her and tell her it’d be okay and that I would leave. All I was doing was unburying lost pain here. Danielle didn’t know me. I was nothing without her.
“I told her nothing. I asked if she remembered me and she said no and then she left. That was all.”
She didn’t remember me, but she recognized me, just didn’t know from where. I saw it in her eyes.
There was silence. I fidgeted. The anger in her eyes died down and the air was heavy. Both our minds replayed images from the past. Mine more violent and my heart breaking all over again, burdened with the truth.
“Tell me what happened. Why doesn’t she know?”
Jaclyn sighed, “The last time I saw you… the day you and that man dropped Danielle at my doorstep, I saw it in your eyes. Your pain. You asked me to take care of her. You also left a letter with me to give to her when she woke. You said you’d be back soon. I knew if you really cared, you’d find a way back. Days passed. She remembered nothing when she woke up. I hid the letter so she wouldn’t read it. You never came back. I was angry at you for that, yet glad. I hated you for what you’d caused.
“Danielle went insane, Chris. She didn’t know who she was. I told her she dropped out of high school in 9th grade, she’d never had a boyfriend and that she had been in a car accident. She talked to herself, or to some unseen being in the room with her. It freaked me out. Sometimes she’d curl up on the floor and cry for hours and hours. Sometimes she went rigid and I wouldn’t be able to wake her up. Her heart would almost stop and her breath was very faint. She would lose herself in thought and ignored everything around her. It scared me half to death.
“I don’t know what the hell you guys did to her to wipe her memory, but I despised you for that. You shouldn’t have come. We’re fine now… but she might remember something if she sees you. If she does, I’m scared of what she’ll do. That’s why you must leave. It’s too late now.”
“Jaclyn I tried to come back, but I couldn’t. I can’t tell you what happened right now, but I will explain one day. You have to trust me, though. I had no control over anything. I love her. I would never hurt her.”
“Then go.” She growled darkly and I flinched. I knew it was the best thing to do, but I knew I couldn’t. Jaclyn took one long look at me before turning around and disappearing back into the shadows. I spent a few moments in silence before following the sidewalk past the warehouses and lake to the chain link fence and gate. There were three padlocks on it. I learned how to pick locks at a young age, but I preferred climbing fences.
I headed back to the park, avoiding the patrolling police, and I curled up under our old oak tree.

“Baby, what is wrong?” I asked, wiping the hair out of her face. More tears slipped down her cheeks.
“I… I… do you love me?” She turned to face me. Her eyes were shiny and green, welling over. Her skin so pale and soft. So beautiful.
“Of course. You know I do, Danielle.” I wiped the tears from her face and leaned in to kiss her, but she turned away. A gesture so small, so simple, yet with such a hurtful impact on me.
“Then why are you cheating on me?” She whispered, burying her face in her hands. My heart fell.
“What! Honey, I’d never cheat on you!”
She glared at me and thrust a tiny paper at me. It landed on my shoe and I picked it up cautiously and read it.

When will I see you again, honey? I had fun. Love you.

“That was in your jacket pocket. It fell out when I put your jacket on.” She buried her face in her hands again, sobbing. My heart was aching. I couldn’t take this.
“Babe, that’s from my mom. I took her to the movies the other day for her birthday.”
Liar!
She looked up at me then, wanting to believe me, yet unsure if she did. She shouldn’t. I was a liar and a fake. It was wrong. I should’ve told the truth and faced the pain, but I remained silent as she smiled and finally kissed me. Her kiss, even though it made my lips tingle and it warmed me inside, fueled my guilt. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve her. She didn’t deserve this. I had to fix it. But she must never know.
“I love you, Danielle.”
“I love you too.” She’d said, curling up in my lap.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I woke early that morning, still curled up under that tree, but I didn’t open my eyes. I sorted through thoughts of the previous night and everything Jaclyn told me. She was right. The best thing for me to do now was leave. Danielle didn’t remember anything nor me and maybe that was a good thing. Perhaps this was my punishment for my infidelity. Why was I so careless and ignorant and selfish? I detested myself for that.
“Sir.”
Great. Now someone was either going to yell at me or ask if I needed help.
“Sir.”, they said again. A female voice.
I rolled over and looked up at Danielle, who was staring at me solemnly. For a moment I thought I was still in my dream and was about to kiss her, but the fear in her eyes brought me back to reality. God, I wanted to grab her and hold her. Why was she here? To torment me further? Did she follow me?
“Danielle, why are you here?” I sniffled, sitting upright against the old, mangled tree trunk. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been crying.
“I have questions. Something told me to come here so I did and I found you.”
“Questions… like?”
“First, why are you crying?”
“I… it doesn’t matter.” I sighed, fidgeting. She cautiously leaned over, ready to back off or run away if I made any sudden movement or noise, and she wiped the tears from my face with her thumb.
“Is it me?” She whispered.
“No. Why would you say that?”
“You… said my name… in your sleep. First time I thought I’d imagined it, but then you said it again. That was all.” She sat next to me. There was just enough room. That was one big reason why we had always liked this tree. It had big roots but this one space between them fit us both comfortably.
“Well I-“
She cut me off, “You dream of me.”
I sighed. This had to be confusing for her. She must think of me as some kind of stalker. First, having me say her name at the park and interrogate her. And now I say her name in my sleep and dream of her.
I said nothing. I just stared at her, my love for her burning my insides. Would I ever hear her say ‘I love you’ ever again? Would I ever be able to hold her hand or smell her hair again? Would I ever be able to hold her while she cried and would I ever feel her lips against mine again? I was a stranger to her. She didn’t realize but that fact and that fact alone – that she didn’t remember me – tore me up. It destroyed me. It made me want to curl up and die or take my own life. She was my purpose, but I no longer meant anything to her.
“The other day at the park, you recognized me. You said my name. You know me… how?”
“Danielle… we used to be very close friends… until the car accident.”
She glared at me, “Don’t lie. Jaclyn made the car accident up, I know it. She always changes the details when I ask. Like the time of day, the color of the car, and how I hit my head. So don’t try to be like Jaclyn, I freaking hate liars. I want to know the truth. That is why I’m here.”
There was my Danielle again. Still easily sees through lies and disguises. Still observant. I couldn’t lie to her anymore, but I wasn’t ready to tell her the truth either.
“Okay… we used to be… well more than just friends… things happened and I left you with Jaclyn, but it was for your safety. I had no other choice. I’ll explain soon but I came back for your forgiveness. You didn’t remember me…” I sighed, “Do you even know my name, Danielle?” My voice broke at the last word.
There. A quick summary of the truth, without actually revealing anything at all.
Danielle squinted at me, focusing. Trying so desperately to remember. To remember something. Minutes passed and she furrowed her brows. Eventually she relaxed and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
I nodded and sighed, fighting back tears. Danielle gently placed her hand upon mine, her touch soft, warm and caring, just as she always was. A moment passed in silence, and I carefully intertwined my fingers with hers, watching her eyes for any sign of disgust or displeasure, if she would hate me for this, but she did nothing. She said nothing against it.
“When you remember my name, I’ll tell you everything.” I promised. She nodded.
“What was I like… before I lost my memory?” a hint of fear shown in her eyes. I knew now why it was there, not of me anymore, but of herself. Of the unknown.
“Just as you are now. Caring. Observant. Determined and open-minded. Sweet. Gentle… beautiful.”
She looked at me then, sadness in her eyes, “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. I know you’re hurting because of me.”
“It’s okay, Danielle. I am fine… now you said you had questions?”
“I do. Lots…”
I watched her stare into space, focusing on something that wasn’t there for me to see. Her eyes grew wide, her face pale, “Sometimes I have dreams… of being alone in the woods. Afraid. My whole body aches. Sometimes I have very short dreams of being carried somewhere. Sometimes I have dreams of eyes watching me in the dark. Or that I’m chained up in a dark, damp room and the water below me is tinted red with my blood. Then there’s one in particular I have sometimes, of sitting under this tree crying. Screaming occasionally. Whispering something to myself I never understood. I always wondered if these were really just memories. Every time I tell Jaclyn about these, she gives me these pills that knock me out and I can’t remember anything for three days. There are so many gaps in my memory… so much of myself I don’t even know. It scares me and I feel so alone…”
Jaclyn was giving her pills to forget these things, because she knew they were memories. She made up the car accident, which leaves out another piece. Why doesn’t Danielle remember anything before the day we dropped her off at Jaclyn’s door?
“Danielle, do not tell Jaclyn of these things anymore. You tell me, okay? I’m here for you. I’ll always be here at the park when you wish to speak with me. Oh, and don’t tell Jaclyn you see me here, alright?”
She gave me a fake little smile and nodded.
5 silent minutes or so passed before she spoke up, “I better go. I’ll probably be back tomorrow morning.”
“Okay…”
I watched her stand and leave, the whole time fighting the urge to say ‘I love you’ and kiss her or at least hug her. It would be wrong. I needed to earn her trust first. Then tell her the truth and see what happened then.
So Jaclyn was giving her pills that took her memory. Could some pills really make a person forget their entire past though? Things didn’t add up. Something else happened and Jaclyn was a part of it. Jaclyn knew and didn’t want anyone to know. I had to find out.

Jaclyn

The door slammed shut and I ran to the living room.
“Danielle!” I shouted and she turned to me, her face full of confusion.
“What, Jaclyn?”
I stood about 5 feet from her now, “I was worried. Don’t go to the park for that long or that early again.”
She squinted at me, “That’s never been a problem before. I always go that early and I usually stay longer.”
I smiled, “No you don’t. Just don’t do it again.”
“Jaclyn what is up with you these past couple days?” She crossed her arms.
I frowned, “What are you talking about?” but I knew what she meant. I’d been overprotective since my run-in with Chris at the diner and our meeting at the dock. He shouldn’t be here. Maybe he took my advice and left. Knowing him, that was very unlikely, but then again, he’d do anything for Danielle. Maybe whatever had happened had given him some sense.
A guilty feeling crept inside me. He loved her and he’d returned like he said. But she didn’t remember anything and that was my fault. She didn’t love him anymore, but that was the price of her happiness. The price of not having to remember what happened. Didn’t Chris understand? I wasn’t the guilty one here. I never was! I was the one who helped Danielle. Not Chris! He abandoned her!
She shook her head, “I’m going to my room. If you need anything, holler.”
I grabbed the pill bottle from the counter, “First, take your pills. You said the nightmares were coming back, right?”
She gulped. “…No thanks, Jaclyn I’m fine. It was only one, very short. If it repeats tonight I’ll take the pills.”
“Dani-“
“Those pills make me nauseous and I feel horrible after I take them.”
I sighed, “Fine.” I’ll hide them in her dinner. I couldn’t let her remember. She disappeared into her room, probably to draw and listen to new age music, something she’d only recently got into.
I turned around to get back to cooking some pasta, but I ran into something and started to fall backwards, but two hands caught my arms and pulled me back to my feet.
“Hello again.” He said in a low voice.
“How the hell did you get in here? How did you find-“
He put a hand over my mouth, “Not too loud now. She mustn’t know I’m here. Now tell me.” He nodded towards the pill bottle in my hand, “What are those and what are they for?”
He released my mouth and I hissed, “Pills. For her nightmares.”
He gritted his teeth, placed his hands upon my shoulders, and pushed me against the wall, his face just a few centimeters from mine. He glared into my eyes, “Bull. Why doesn’t she remember anything?”
I handed him the pill bottle and he read the back.
“ ‘Overdosing may cause memory loss’.” He threw the bottle on the counter, “You’re tricking her into overdosing on this crap so that she forgets everything?”
“For her sake. Do not worry about it, Chris. She is no longer of your concern.”
“You’ll kill her, Jaclyn.”
“You already did.” I hissed, trying to push him off me, but he was stronger than me by far.
His eyes welled up, but he didn’t cry, “She may not remember me now, but I still love her. I always will. I refuse to let you do this to her!”
“Get. The. Hell. Out. Of my house. If I ever see you again, either here or around me or her, I will call the police and tell them you’ve been harassing us.”
“That doesn’t scare me, Jaclyn.” He laughed, “I will do anything to protect her. Even from you.”
I slapped him across the face and he scowled at me. Then he shoved me harder against the wall, and I could feel his disgusting breath on my face. He slipped his hands around my neck and I tried desperately to pry them off, but I felt my last breath escape my lips and I gasped for air. Air that wouldn’t come. I kicked, I tried to scream for help, but no words formed. I felt my lungs collapse and my head spun. Just as I was about to give in, Chris freed me from his hold and I fell to the floor. He knelt beside me, playing with one of the strands of my hair.
“Don’t you dare hurt her, and don’t you ever give her those pills again.”
I saw it clearly in his eyes now; darkness. Murder. He was evil, and he’d nearly killed me, his best friend. He’d lost his mind out there and he was corrupted. He was one of them now. I had to protect Danielle, but how could I? Now that he knew where we lived and how to get in here.
I nodded weakly, a couple tears falling to the tile floor. Chris sighed and left through the front door, gently shutting it behind him. For some time I stay there on the floor, my tears forming a tiny puddle in front of me. I lie there until a burning scent hit my nostrils and I scrambled to my feet. I quickly turned the stove off and poured the burnt pasta into the trash can. Danielle could make her own dinner. Some chicken noodle soup, or pizza or… something. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes, fear creeping into my bones. I had that unsettling feeling. That I was being watched.

Danielle

I was again in the dark room, ankle chained to the floor. I looked around, but saw nothing other than pure darkness. My whole body was sore, especially my lower stomach and back. A rat was scurrying around, its squeaks echoing throughout the room. The room, I knew, was large and empty. Other than me, this chain, this water and this rat. I’d been in here for so long, with so little food, I’d grown dangerously skinny. I tried to see if I could wiggle my foot out of the chain, but it was still too big. I sniffled and tried to look for the rat.
My gaze met his and we just stared at each other, his light blue eyes boring into mine.
“Help me? Where am I?” I whispered, but the rat said nothing. Instead, he squeaked and ran off, his tiny feet making the faintest splashes in the water.
There was a creaking sound I looked up as a light poured into the room. The only door in or out of here had just opened, and a shadowy figure stepped in, shutting the door behind him. I shivered, wanting to scream and run out of her. Away from this strange figure.
His steps made loud splashes in the water as he came closer. He chuckled once in front of me. I still could not see him.
A rather deep voice muttered, “Ready?”
I sobbed, “No! Not again!”
He quickly slipped out of his clothes as he said, “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon. Just relax.” He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around my waist as a searing pain shot up through me and I screamed.

My eyes flickered open, just to be met by darkness. The same darkness from the dream. I panicked and ran for the light, sighing with relief to find I was in my own room. There was the twin bed in the corner, the small dresser with the lamp I just turned on, and the desk with the chair. On the desk were two things; my computer and a framed picture of me and Jaclyn at the fair. Part of that picture was cut off, though. What could’ve been there?
I ran to the desk and opened its one drawer, taking out a sheet of college-ruled paper and a black ink pen. I jot down everything I remembered from the dream as well as every other nightmare I’d had.
I snuck out the front door quietly, careful not to wake up the snoring Jaclyn on the couch. I had to find that man. Only he would give me the answers I needed.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4
Chris

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was excited yet broken about being friends with Danielle again. Happy to have her close, to know I could keep her safe, but hurt that she didn’t remember anything. I wanted to be more than friends with Danielle again, but I was treading on thin ice here. I needed to regain her trust. Now, following her home and almost killing Jaclyn was a bit over the top, but I needed Jaclyn to know I was serious about what I was doing. Danielle was mine.
I watched her come into sight, look around from the tree to the pavilion to the lake, catch me and head my way, my heart pounding inside. I hoped she’d remember my name so that I could hear it from her angelic lips once more, but I didn’t want to tell her anything yet.
You see, I had a plan.
“Hey… you.” She greeted me. She still didn’t know my name.
“Hi Danielle.”
She took a seat next to me on the bench overlooking the little pond in the middle of the park. We watched the ducks swim and a little girl run around trying to catch a rabbit. Danielle laid her head against my shoulder, completely oblivious to my heart racing inside, trying to reach her.
“I had another dream last night.”
“Tell me.” I said coldly, trying to hide the pain in my voice. This was like trying to be friends with an ex you want to be with again but you know you can’t.
She shrugged, “I was in that damn room again, chained up. It was all dark and then this man came in and…” She buried her face in my shoulder, sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back in what I hoped was a comforting manner. It felt amazing to have her in my arms, but to see her cry was heartbreaking, just like it always was.
“Please tell me that was just a dream… not an actual memory…”
I bit my lip, “I honestly don’t know on that one. I wasn’t there.”
She cried for another few minutes before sitting up again and we watched the sun rise together. The sun was my enemy, just another reminder that things change, good things never last, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
A memory resurfaced.
I was running through the woods. The sun was about to set, but it was my only light. I quickened my pace, tripping over tree roots while the vines sliced through my soft, weak flesh like butter. I kept running. I wanted, no I needed to get out of that horrible place. As quickly as possible. I was finally free, I couldn’t give that up.
The time came where I couldn’t run anymore and I collapsed on a fallen tree trunk. I took a few deep breaths. My vision was getting blurry again, my head pounding. I looked up for a moment, the final sun rays reaching me through the trees. I was close to escaping! I used the last of my strength to stand and run. As fast as I possibly could. The sun slipped under the horizon, hiding the fall from my sight. I reached the clearing only to stumble down a cliff.
It seemed like forever I was tumbling, being slammed against boulders and cut even further by the vines growing between the rocks. A few of my fingers, my left arm and my right ankle all sprained from hitting the rocks so much. By the time I reached the bottom, right into more woods, I was unconscious, bloody, broken… dying.
I was kept alive by the hope of seeing Danielle again. When I was in pain, I’d dream of being in her arms with her soothing words in my ears. I’d dream of kissing her and seeing her smile or just lying there beside her, getting lost in her beautiful green eyes.
Now I had her and I couldn’t kiss her or love her properly. All I could do was hold her, but that was enough to keep me sane… right?
“If you refuse to tell me your name, what do I call you?” She looked up at me, her eyes bloodshot and dry.
I frowned, “Just call me C.”
“C.” She shook her head, “Well, C. That’s such an odd name. Just the letter C.”
I laughed, wiping the hair from her eyes and whispered, “It is, but I’m not at all creative. I think you should be getting back to Jaclyn. She’s probably worried sick.”
She sighed heavily, “Oh yeah, sure. Why does she treat me like a child? She isn’t my mother! I’m 20 years old for God’s sake! So is she!”
“She’s just looking after you, Danielle. She’s protecting you. Well, trying to.”
“From what?” she laughed. She expected me to say from murderers and rapists. She was ready to snap back at me that she could take care of herself. Even though she was 21, she could still act just like a child or a teenager sometimes.
“From me.” I muttered, shifting my gaze to the ground. Well actually, I was a murderer. And Danielle couldn’t protect herself from me. I was stronger and she’d loved me once. I wanted to reach in and pull that back out. To feel her against me one more time. Or at least feel her love through a kiss or hug. Without that I had nothing else to live for.
Danielle stared at me blankly, “But… you’re not dangerous.”
“No but my actions have had violent effects in the past.”
“I… I don’t understand.” She tilted her head towards me, completely perplexed.
What was this feeling inside me? Urgency. To tell her. To get it out. To get this game over with. I just wanted to hear her say she forgave me or that she loved me. If not, I wasn’t going to waste any more time here.
But I didn’t have the courage to talk about it. Or was it really just because I didn’t want to talk about it? All I wanted was Danielle’s forgiveness. So I could get past this. So things could get back to the way they were and we could be happy. Cuddled up together on the couch watching a movie. Or just sitting there, me talking about my boring day at the computer repair shop and listening to her talk about her day waiting for me.
“You will soon enough.”
She jumped up and stomped her feet, her eyes flaring, “Quit playing these games with my head! I’m tired of the tricks and the riddles! Tell me the fucking truth. I’m still not sure if I can trust you!”
My eyes moistened up, “I am not strong enough yet. Please understand, Danielle. I promise you I will tell you, but not now. When I’m ready, but I assure you I will never hurt you. I will protect you. I promise on my life and all that has been or will be done. You can trust me.”
Of all the people in the world, I thought she’d be the one to understand. She used to be the more patient one, the more open one.
She took one long look at me and sighed, “You better keep your promises.”
“I will, Danielle.”

Danielle

I still wasn’t sure about this. I never would be. I was never sure of anything in my life up until now; it was all worthless. I was worthless. These people were playing tricks on me. Tonight the voices were especially active.
He’s going to kill you. No he’s not! He promised!
Promises can be broken, Danielle. You are blind. Look at what is going on. Shut up! You’re just a voice in my own head. You know nothing! Especially of him!
You are a burden. On everyone. Do not hold down these people anymore.
The thought scared me. The voices in my head always said these things, these lies and I always fell for them. But tonight I was especially vulnerable. Confused. Alone. Cold. I was afraid to go to bed, knowing the nightmares would be back for sure.
I went to the dresser, slowly sliding open the top drawer. I dug around through the notes, old poems and notebooks, some loose change. Gum wrapper. Aha! There it was! I took the razor blade out of the dresser and collapsed to the floor, back against the rough dresser drawers.
I took a few deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Was I really going to do this?
Don’t chicken out, Danielle. Actually go through with something.
Was I ready for this?
Yes.
I slid the cold piece of metal across my palm. A drop of blood oozed out and ran down my arm, falling to the floor.
They’d be free now. Jaclyn and C. They wouldn’t be burdened by me anymore. And hey I wouldn’t have to deal with these nightmares or this pain any longer if I went through with this. Isn’t that want I wanted? I could start over with a whole new life. Be born again, a different person.
A person who actually knew who they were. A person with a past and a meaning. A person who could stick up for themselves. A person who didn’t put up with being stepped on or used. A person who was actually wanted.
Another slice. More blood. Hell, let’s get this over with. A deep one across my wrist. So much blood! My cheeks were damp with tears at this point. I watched the crimson puddle extend on the floor as I became lightheaded. The edges of my vision turned purple before everything faded to white. Suddenly many images flashed into my mind.
One of myself sitting under that oak tree at the park, crying. One of C walking up to the pavilion at the park and staring at me. I’d been so scared and confused. Then there was the image of Jaclyn. The last one was of me crying in C’s arms.
It had felt so safe. So… perfect. Almost as though it were meant to be.
But it was far too late to think about these things.

Chris

I had this sinking feeling form in the pit of my stomach when I first heard sirens in the distance. A feeling I’d never felt hearing those sirens before. They were just sirens. Of an ambulance. Probably nothing, right? Nobody I knew? I shook off the feeling without much thought.
It crept back into my stomach as the sirens got closer. Urgency. I realized the ambulance was right in Jaclyn’s neighborhood.
Without even having the thought, I scrambled to my feet and ran. This feeling meant something. Something had happened. To either Jaclyn or Danielle. I ran as fast as I could, praying they were okay. Well, at least Danielle. Jaclyn I didn’t particularly care for anymore. It’s amazing how quickly and how dramatically people can change.

I turned down their street just as a medic was rolling Danielle on a gurney into the back of the ambulance. Her arms… her wrists… all sliced open. There was blood all over. No! Not my Danielle, please no! I ran to them, slipping behind them into the ambulance.
One of the medics, a man in his thirties with short blonde hair and a missing pinkie shouted, “You can’t be in here! Get out!”
“I’m her best friend! I’m staying! Shut up and help her!” I screamed back in tears.
The blonde medic mumbled something and went back to frantically searching for a pulse. There was one, but it was very faint. The whole time, the medic was pushing down on her chest, trying to keep her breathing. He wasn’t pushing down hard enough, I thought. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I wanted to help, but the two medics in here with me just pushed me aside, to the back of the ambulance.
It seemed like forever before we reached the hospital, and nurses were already waiting outside to help bring Danielle in. I trailed behind them, my eyes planted on Danielle the whole time. Her eyes never opened. Please don’t let her die. Not now! Not ever!
I followed as far as I could go before one of the nurses starting shouting at me in Spanish, pushing me out, and buzzing the door shut before I could get back in. I ran back down the hall to the waiting area, where there was a fat woman with an inhaler in the corner, and a man in his 60’s with a missing arm, and gray hair watching the puffer fish in the 50 gallon fish tank. The woman at the desk called me over, asking what happened, what our names were, our relation, etc.
A few tense minutes passed before Jaclyn made her way through the front door, dazed and confused. She caught my gaze and frowned, heading over to me. She bared her teeth and shouted, “What did you do! What did you say? Why must you keep causing problems? Look what you’ve done! She’s tried to kill herself because of you!”
“Jaclyn, I did nothing. I said nothing. Maybe it is you, not me!” I growled, crossing my arms. My legs were shaking. I just wanted to see Danielle and know she was okay.
“Everything was fine until your careless ass showed up! She’s perfectly fine with me! But no… you always have to ruin everything!” By then, everyone in the waiting room had turned and were staring right at us.
“I love her! I can’t just abandon her!”
“Yet you already have!”
“I had no choice! You know this! If you’re just going to fight me, get the hell out. I’m not leaving without knowing Danielle is okay.”
She glared at me, “You’re such an ignorant, careless bastard, you know that?” before stomping away to the other side of the room just to take a seat and stare at me. As if I was a murderer or something. Then again, I was. She just didn’t know it. She didn’t need to.
It felt like years I spent pacing the room, looking back every now and then at Jaclyn, who eventually fell asleep. How could she be so calm and carefree when Danielle could be dead or dying that very moment as far as we knew? My heart jumped and I had to catch my breath. Quit thinking like that. I was always so negative.
The waiting room emptied. Some skinny man with shaggy hair who smelled like cigarettes came and fed the fish. As if those fat suckers needed anymore.
A skinny brunette nurse finally walked into the room, 2 hours later, and said, “Chris, Danielle will be fine. We stitched the wounds and she can be signed out and brought home when she wakes up.”
“Thank you, nurse. I’ll be here to take her home.” Jaclyn replied before I could, suddenly beside me. I turned to her and gave her a cold stare. A tiny grin tugged at her lips. She was trying to irk me on purpose.
“I’ll be here too.”
Jaclyn glared at me, “No. You’re not.”
“Well if you two want to see her, she’s in room 32. Just go down the hall, turn left and it’ll be the second one on the right.”
“Thank you, miss.” I nodded and she headed off.
“Leave, Chris.”
“No.” I muttered, heading down the hall.
I followed the nurse’s directions to Danielle’s room and sat in the plastic blue chair beside her bed. Jaclyn tagged behind, and took a seat in the other blue chair in the corner of the room, returning to her nap.
I kept my eyes on Danielle’s. She looked like an angel while she slept. My gaze trailed down to her wrists every now and then, my stomach churning at the bloody gauze wrapped around them. Why, Danielle, why? Why would you do this?
Was it me? Something I said? Something I did?
My heart sank even lower, and I hadn’t thought it could. What if it had been me? What if I’d been the one to slit my wrists? Would Danielle even care? Would anyone care?
“What’s wrong?” Danielle whispered, her eyes wide open. My gaze had fallen to the floor.
I looked up at her, trying to hide my sorrow, “Nothing… just tired.”
She sighed, sitting up and turning, so that she was facing me, “I can tell the difference between someone who is tired and someone who is upset. It’s me, isn’t it?”
I didn’t need lie. “…Why’d you do it, Danielle?”
She frowned, hanging her head, “I feel like I’m just a burden on you guys. I feel like I’m being stepped on and used by everybody because I don’t remember anything. I feel like I’m being lead on. But most of all I feel alone and misunderstood. Worthless.”
I put my index finger under her chin and raised her face so she was staring into my eyes. She was already tearing over. I couldn’t bear this much longer, I’d lose it too, “Danielle, you are not worthless. You’re not alone. I’m here for you. Nobody’s leading you on. I understand you. You may not understand me, but I understand you. Please don’t do this again… live… for me?”
She bit her lip and nodded and I wrapped my arms around her lightly. I felt alive with her in my grasp. I could protect her. I had a purpose. But Jaclyn was glaring at me from the corner once again so I pulled away after a minute or two, wiping the last of Danielle’s tears away with my thumb.
I wanted to take her. Take her away from this place. To leave Jaclyn behind with my past and just take Danielle somewhere safe. Where it was just me and her. Just so I could make sure she was safe and nobody else could ever hurt her again. I refused to let the past repeat itself. I’d paid my price, now it was time to win back my love and make everything right.
But she was stuck with Jaclyn. I didn’t trust her anymore. Ever since Danielle told me about the pills and I’d gone after Jaclyn that day, I’d wondered about what else Jaclyn might’ve done. Or what she might still be doing.
“Danielle, let’s go home now.” Jaclyn piped up, standing.
Danielle looked at her and then back at me. I nodded ever so slowly. She saw the hesitation in my eyes and kept put on her bed.
“Danielle. Come on, it’s like… 4 in the morning.” Jaclyn yawned.
Instead of Danielle, I was the one who stood, heading for the door. I waved to Danielle, who was still watching me. As I was closing the door behind me, she called, “Bye C… and thank you.”
I bit my lip, “Bye Danielle...”

It was pouring outside. The raindrops felt like needles that had been left in the freezer for hours. They stung my face as I ran. At least the rain hid my tears.
I shot past the old high school, past the grocery store and right through the empty field. I didn’t stop until I reached the park. It was pouring even harder by then, but I skipped the pavilion. I went straight to the oak tree and curled up in between its roots. This tree held so many memories. Good and bad. I wanted to return to the past, to wake up from this nightmare.
I pleaded to the tree. I sobbed, I hugged it, but it did nothing. It said nothing in return. I pleaded for it to wake me up. Perhaps I was just in the middle of a nightmare during a nap. Yeah that must be it… I’d fallen asleep in Danielle’s lap! Must’ve! This couldn’t be real.
But as hard as it was for me, I couldn’t convince myself that is was a dream. Danielle had almost died tonight. Again. She didn’t deserve death, I did. She deserved the best and I deserved to suffer yet she was the one suffering.
I felt everything within me crumble. Everything I’d ever done had been a waste. And I’d failed Danielle. I couldn’t be there to make her happy. Nor stop her from wanting to kill herself.
The downpour eased into a gentle sprinkle. Every inch of my body was frozen, shivering, aching. I didn’t care, I deserved all the pain I received.
It wasn’t until 6 or so in the morning that I finally found sleep. Curled up right in between the oak tree’s roots, right where Danielle and I once snuggled and laughed together under. Maybe by some miracle, that would be us again in the future.

The sirens. The ambulance. The blood. I tried to run to her, but my feet weren’t fast enough. She was calling my name. Desperately. As soon as I got to the scene, I collapsed beside her and I held her in my arms. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was crying blood. Her wrists and throat were slit.
“Danielle!”
“Chris! You did this to me! You did! It’s your fault!” She hissed.
“I know! Danielle, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I managed between sobs.
A couple drops of blood ran from her eyes and down her cheeks as her life slipped away from her, “Why don’t you love me?” She used her final breath to ask.
My body went rigid and numb. My heart ceased to beat. For your love to die before your eyes, thinking that you didn’t love her, and for her to use her final breath to ask why you don’t love her, when in reality you do more than anything, is far worse than being handed your death sentence.
“Danielle…” I lost my breath. Her body had gone limp, her eyes empty and lifeless. “Danielle!” I shouted, trying to wake her up. I shook her a little. I laid her in the grass and pushed on her chest. Nothing. I kissed her. Nothing. She was dead. Gone. Forever.
She was dead and it was my fault.
“Danielle… please… I love you! I have always loved you… I’m sorry!” I whispered, my knees giving out. I collapsed beside her in the muddy grass. I adjusted myself so my face was beside hers and I intertwined our hands. I laid my face against her neck and wept, I myself as empty and lifeless as her on the inside.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5
Danielle

When we got home, I took a small dish rag, soaked it and scrubbed the blood off the floor of my room. I found my bloody razor blade and snapped it in half. I tossed it carelessly. One piece landed on the table and the other piece slid under my bed.
By the time all the evidence was erased, it was 7 am. I took a nice long hot shower to settle my nerves and ate a nice big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My absolute favorite cereal in the entire world. I slid on my converse and headed out the door. Everything was still soaked. The ditches were full with rain water and I almost slipped on one of the puddles in the road.
I used that time that I had alone walking to the park to think about things. Think about yesterday. Think about the hospital and C. What he’d said and how hurt he’d been. How he had stayed by my side until I woke. Even Jaclyn hadn’t done that. She was asleep. Not a care in the world. That only further proved my point; she was fake. A liar.
I looked down at the gauze around my arms. The blood splatters on them, right where my wrists were. How stupid I had been. It made me sick to think about it.
When I’d reached the park, it was around 8 or 9. I found C in the same place I’d found him last time: asleep under that tree. As I got closer, I heard sniffling. He was crying. I ran to him and sat beside him.
He twitched a little and his sniffles gave way to sobs.
“Danielle…” He whispered, still in a deep sleep.
“C. It’s just a dream.” I whispered in reply, as if he could hear me. I put my hand on his and he flinched back, as if burned. I knew he was asleep and couldn’t control himself, but the gesture hurt me a little inside.
“Danielle… I… know…”
“Know what?” I asked, watching him intently.
“I’m sorry.” His eye twitched.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I smiled at him, even though he couldn’t see it.
He jerked a little, crying harder. He slipped his hand into mine, “I… love you… I have… always… loved you… I’m sorry!” He whispered so quietly, I almost didn’t catch it.
I kept quiet, fighting a smile.
His tears came faster. He started breathing hard and he was panicking. In his sleep? I wrapped my arms tight around him and ran my fingers through his hair, whispering into his ear, “It’s okay. It’s just a dream. Wake up, C, just wake up. It’s okay!”
He sobbed into my shirt for a few minutes before relaxing again. A while passed before he pulled his hand from mine and rolled over. I didn’t know why, but this gesture seemed to stab me in the chest as well.
Another hour or so slipped by before he woke, rubbing his eyes. He jumped a little when he saw me staring at him, “Danielle! How long have you been sitting there?”
I chuckled, “About an hour.”
“I’m sorry! It must’ve been boring…” He sat up, leaning against the tree. There were bags under his eyes. Whatever he’d been dreaming about, it wasn’t good.
“Not really.”
His eyes went big, “Oh, no. Was I sleep-talking again?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry all you said was my name and that you were sorry.”
He sighed in relief. I’d save him the embarrassment from me hearing him say he loved me. But now I knew. And that gave me some comfort on the inside that I needed.
“Good.” He rested his head against the tree, staring up into the sky. The sun was already up high and it was finally starting to warm up, even with the cloudy forecast. I noticed he was shivering, and that all his clothes were drenched.
“C, do you sleep here every night? Don’t you have a home?” Then I realized he was still wearing the same clothes he’d been wearing the first time I saw him, “Do you have any other clothes? What do you eat?”
“Danielle, calm down. You’re overreacting.” He laughed. I dramatically took a couple deep breaths.
I laughed with him that time and he said, “And yes I sleep here every night. No I don’t have a home. These are my only clothes. I go to the grocery store, take a box of crackers or something and munch on them when nobody’s looking. Or I’ll just eat stuff out of a garbage can.”
I frowned, “Well… do you want me to ask Jaclyn if you can stay with us?”
He bared his teeth, “Jaclyn and I are no longer friends. Enemies, rather. I’m sorry.”
“Well then can I at least buy you some clothes? Or buy you some food?”
He shook his head, “That is unnecessary, Danielle. I am merely a stranger to you.”
“C, it is nothing! Let me help. You helped me.”
“In what way?” He raised an eyebrow at me, resting his head on his hand, his arm propped up on his knee.
“You told me I wasn’t worthless. You said you were here for me. It meant a lot. You made me happy. So please let me do something for you in return. And by the way, you’re not a stranger to me. You’re my only friend.”
He just stared at me for a moment, then said, “Do not waste your money on buying me clothes I’ll probably lose or not fit into… how about… we go to dinner? Just you and me?” His arms were shaking. He was nervous. There was… fear… in his eyes.
I smiled, “Sounds great.”
He sighed and smiled in return, his eyes sparkling for once. Now there was… hope?
“When?” he whispered.
“Well… how about tonight? The diner down the street?”
He smiled, “Perfect. Will you meet me here?”
“Sure. I’ll come around 6. Then we can walk down there.” My stomach was twisting itself at the thought. Going to dinner with a man whose name I didn’t even know.
But it wasn’t wrong, was it? I mean… I knew him, I just didn’t remember him. Plus, he’d said he loved me. So he wouldn’t hurt me, right? I felt safe around him. I felt okay with him.
“Mkay. I’ll be right here.”
“I’m going to go before Jaclyn flips. I’ll see you at six.” I waved, turning and heading back home.

I got home and Jaclyn was still sound asleep. I peered at the clock. 11:15 am. I had 6 hours before I had to leave again. I had to make up an excuse for later. So Jaclyn wouldn’t come with me. I was meeting a friend? No, that was too obvious.
To pass the time, I listened to Amethystium and painted a little house in the woods to calm myself. I didn’t have any green paint left so I used navy, like C’s eyes. Jaclyn woke up eventually, around 2 or 3, and cooked herself some scrambled eggs, not offering me any. Figures.
6 o’clock came way too quickly. I hopped up and found Jaclyn on the couch watching CSI Miami.
“I’m going to the diner.”
“Good idea! Let’s go!” She scrambled to her feet, grabbing the remote from the table and turning the T.V. off.
“No, Jaclyn. I want to go alone… I want to think about things. I’ll eat there and then I’m taking a nice long walk.”
She tilted her head at me, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Jaclyn. I’ll be back later.”
Jaclyn sighed, “It’s not a good idea. I don’t want you running into that man again.”
My right eye twitched a little. I prayed Jaclyn hadn’t seen it. After a second of silence, I sighed, mostly in relief, “If I bump into him, I’ll run away and come home. “
“Just let me come with you.”
“No, Jaclyn! I want to be alone right now.” I shouted, a little louder than I’d wanted to.
Jaclyn crossed her arms, “Fine. Just be home by 9.”
“You’re not my mom.” I growled, stomping off to the door and slamming it behind me. Yes, I’m a little over-dramatic sometimes.

Chris

She arrived right at 6, like she’d said she would. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a black shirt with a dark purple rose on it. Her hair was combed and shiny. She was as beautiful as always. I was still in my black jeans and navy shirt from a week ago. They reeked of dirt and sweat. I hoped Danielle wouldn’t be able to smell it, or that she wouldn’t care. She never did before, but then again I never smelled this bad before. I was such a disgrace. Especially compared to an angel like Danielle.
She smiled when she saw me and I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a gentle hug. She squeezed me in return. She smelled like a field of roses, if there was such a thing. When we pulled out of our hug, we walked side by side down the sidewalk toward Maria’s Diner.
My heart was all bubbly inside of me. Having Danielle so close to me, within my grasp, after so long of being alone and cold… missing her… dreaming of her…
I hadn’t any idea what I did to deserve her so close to me again, but I was glad. This was all I needed to be happy. Just to be around her.
She caught me staring at her from the corner of her eye and smiled. I blushed a little and looked straight ahead. Danielle slowly slid her hand into mine, carefully interlocking our fingers. My heart jumped in delight. Her hand was so soft, so smooth. So delicate and fragile. So perfect.
We got to the diner about a half an hour after we took off from the park. It wasn’t real busy today, like it’d been the last time I was here. Danielle still wasn’t aware that I had been here before. We grabbed a table in the back, where there were only two other people in this area. Just an old lady with long white hair and a man in his 40’s with jet black hair and a stick-like frame.
Danielle sat directly across from me, so that we were staring at each other. She was so close to me, yet so far. I wanted to reach out and touch her face, to pull her closer and kiss her.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, mostly to distract myself. To stop these thoughts that were burning my heart. I wanted what I couldn’t have. Not yet, at least.
“I’m… actually, I’m okay. For once.” She smiled, her eyes lighting up.
I smiled back, “Well that’s good.”
We were interrupted by a male waiter, a man in his early 30’s with a buzz-cut and green eyes. Danielle and I both ordered water. Once the waiter left, I flipped through the menu, Danielle watching me. I found something quickly and slid the menu aside, watching Danielle just as she was watching me.
“You… wait, didn’t you used to have dreads?” Danielle asked.
I grinned, “Yeah, Danielle, I did. In 10th grade.” She remembered something!
“I had this sudden little vision of a teenage guy with dark dreads, a face just like yours. I guess it actually was you.”
I grinned, resting my head in my hand, “That was back around the time I met you. I had dreads in the end of 9th, all of 10th and the beginning of 11th. I met you at the end of 9th grade, in the fiction section of the school library. You were asking me where a book was, but you stopped mid-sentence and just stared at me. Eventually you said my hair was awesome and I said your eyes were gorgeous and we just clicked. Then in 10th, we had Language arts together and we sat at the same table and we got to be friends. And things lead to another and before you know it… we were… together.” I bit my lip to keep from crying. I wanted things to be same as they were. Before I fucked up and all that crazy shit happened. I dreaded the day that she remembered.
“Well I remember the day in the library, but not much else.” She frowned. That’s probably a really good thing.
The waiter returned and took our order. Danielle ordered a chicken salad sandwich and onion rings. I ordered spaghetti.
Once he left again, I turned to Danielle, “Do you remember my name yet?”
Danielle frowned, “I’m sorry. I don’t.”
I reached over and placed my hand upon hers, “It’s okay.”
Danielle just stared at me, her expression blank, but her eyes full of care… desire… hope.
“Is this a date?” She asked.
I grinned, “If you want it to be, then it is.” She smiled and slid out of her seat. She walked around the table and slipped in next to me, leaning her head against my shoulder and clinging to my arm.
“You tired?”
She nodded lightly, “I haven’t slept since the hospital.”
I leaned my head against hers, relishing the moment. Our touch. Having her at my side. By now the other two people had left, which made our section of the diner completely empty other than us.
Our food came soon later and we both ate slowly, glancing at one another every so often.

We finished our meal and Danielle paid the bill. I felt bad about letting her pay it, but I had absolutely no money of my own. If I did, I would’ve paid. I took her hand and led her out of the diner and back to the park. I led her to the same oak tree as always, and I sat beside her. I played with a strand of her soft brown hair while she leaned her head against my chest, listening to my heartbeat. But could she hear it screaming for her? For her love?
“I had fun. Thank you.” She smiled up at me, wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace.
I smiled back, but for the first time in a year, it was a real smile, “I did too. Thank you. You’re the one who took me and paid so thank you. We should do it again sometime.”
“That’d be nice.” God, her smile. It was heaven to me.
The moment was warm, loving. There was little distance between our faces. Our lips were only moments away from touching. But should I take that chance? Could I endure the pain of being rejected for what I wanted most? The moment seemed so right.
I decided against it, but my heart led me. I leaned forward centimeter by centimeter, her mirroring my ambivalent movements. The longest second of my life passed in silence before her lips brushed against mine. But just as we were about to kiss, she pulled away and put her hand over her mouth nervously.
“I-I-I I’m sorry, Danielle, I sh-shouldn’t have done that…” I said, my eyes darting around. I was searching for something to say that would keep her from hating me for what I’d done. But nothing came to mind. A few minutes slipped away before I realized she’d been silent, and my gaze returned to her.
She still had her hand over her mouth, but she was staring at me intently. Wondering. What was going through her mind?
“Say something.” I whispered, mostly to myself. I felt empty again. I messed up. I couldn’t take chances anymore. I couldn’t lose her again!
“She hates you for this. You just lost your chance.” The voices began. Something had to happen before they drove me to the point where I had a panic attack. I always did when the voices started. They wouldn’t shut up for hours after they’re given something to talk about. Not until I have a panic attack. But I couldn’t have one now.
My eyes welled up, “Please don’t hate me for what I did. I’m sorry.”
Danielle’s hand fell to her lap again and she leaned her head against my chest. Back to where things were before I’d done that. Before we finally almost kissed. Wasn’t that enough? To feel her lips lightly brush mine? It had sent electric currents through me. I’d felt something! I was alive again. Why wasn’t that enough?
I wanted her acceptance and her love. Not just to be alive. To be alive is nothing if you’re not wanted or cared about.
“It’s okay. I don’t hate you. I just… I’m nervous. I’m not ready for that.”
We have gone much farther than that in the past, Danielle…
“I understand.” I bit my lip and began to play with her hair again.
“Hey I should go… I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Oh, okay… bye…” I sigh, frowning to myself. I wanted more time with her, but I could understand why she wanted to leave. She’d almost kissed a complete stranger. Me, a total stranger to her, yet the one person she knew the best.
She smiled shyly, “Goodnight C.” and headed back home. Away from me.

He fed quickly and sloppily, the blood everywhere. He bit into the flesh with his teeth and peeled it right off each bone with ease, chewing it and gulping it down within seconds. The beast was as tall as my waist, and while I was crouching down watching him feast, we were at eye level. His golden, slit eyes showed no signs of fear. Just hunger. Not once did I wonder if he would attack me. It was dangerous to be so close. I was within arm’s length of the wolf, yet he did not attack. Just stuck to the pieces of the bodies I’d laid out for him.
I did nothing but watch in awe. Once the wolf was finished, his thick black coat now matted with blood, he stood motionless, watching me as I watched him. Many moments passed in silence before the animal made a low growl-like sound and patted the dirt with his front right paw. I gave him a quizzical look and his eyes seemed to laugh at me.
Instead of attacking, as I thought and hoped he would to kill me and end my pain, he sniffed my face and my hair a little and ran off. Back into the woods and the darkness. I was once again alone, the blood of my freshly defeated enemies all over the ground and my clothes. I had to run before any other animals followed the scent of the blood. There was little chance I’d be so lucky if another predator came hungry.

I jolted awake, those eyes set on my mind. Those golden, devilish eyes. Why had that wolf not taken me that day? It could’ve ended me easily. I wouldn’t have fought back. I was vulnerable, weak and dying, yet it spared me. Why? Why couldn’t it have a little mercy and end my misery?
But ‘the universe works in mysterious ways.’ Maybe there was more meant for me here. With Danielle. Maybe her forgetting the past was a godsend, I mean, if she remembered what happened, she’d probably loathe me. But with her forgetting, she was hanging out with me again. Only for information, yes, but it’s something. I dreaded the day she found the truth and dreaded how she would react.
Until that day came, I had her for myself. She was mine! I had to win her back!

The next day came, but it came without Danielle. We didn’t watch the sunrise together. We didn’t lie under the oak tree. We didn’t go to dinner, didn’t take a walk. I didn’t see her at all. I thought, maybe this was Jaclyn’s doing. She’d be there the next day.
But she wasn’t there when I woke. She didn’t show up at all that day either.
A dangerous, painful thought hit me the morning of the third day. She was probably never coming back. Maybe she remembered. Maybe Jaclyn told her. Maybe she was in the hospital again!
I choked. I gagged. I told myself to calm down, but it didn’t work. I wrapped my arms around myself and curled up in a tight ball under the oak tree. I wouldn’t leave this spot until she returned. If I died here, so be it.
Maybe she was tired of me, maybe she was sick. Maybe she forgot about me again. Maybe Jaclyn gave her the pills again!
Blood rushed to my face and my eyebrows furrowed. My fists clenched. I wanted to beat down Jaclyn for giving her those pills! Just to make her forget!
I stood. I had to find Danielle. I missed her vanilla scent, her hair, her eyes, her warm skin. Most of all I missed her voice. Her sweet, angelic voice.
I took a step forward just to collide with something… or someone.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6
Danielle

I was on the couch, curled up under the covers. It was the only way to get warm during the winter; our heater was broken. But it was comfy on the couch under my soft, black, king-size blanket. I was watching the frost creep over the windows and melt with the afternoon’s sun. It was around 2:30 so C would be getting back from his job soon. He worked at a computer repair shop. 8 am to 3 pm. It was a small business but it paid good enough money.
Everything was all calm, peaceful and quiet, with me alone to my thoughts like always. Until a knocking came at the door. I sighed and stood. I walked over to it and opened it, only to have something hard and metal slam against my face and my vision faded to black. The only thing I’d seen before I fell was a woman around the age of 20 with wavy blonde hair and skinny frame.
I’d woken up being dragged into a basement, the air freezing and the 2 inches of water that covered the floor was dangerously cold. The woman from earlier grinned down at me and drug me all the way across the dark room to the other side, with me wiggling and squirming all the while. I couldn’t do anything or make any progress of escaping for I was stiff and weak.
The woman drug me over to the chain attached to the cement floor about a foot away from the wall. At the end of it was a handcuff-like attachment which she stuck my ankle in and locked. The woman took a step back and laughed menacingly before turning and leaving me here. As she shut the door behind her, the only light there was vanished and I was left in the dark with my fears.
I could hear her heading up a staircase. A cement staircase. The faint sounds of her footsteps echoed through the basement.
I shivered. For so long there was utter silence. Hours passed. The only noises I heard were my breathing and some basement rats scurrying about.
I wanted C. I closed my eyes tightly and held them shut, praying I’d just fallen asleep on the couch and was taking a nap. Yeah, that was it. Then C would wake me up and kiss me and ask me how my day was.
The door creaked open, and light poured into the room, hurting my eyes. I flinched, squinting. C? There was a figure standing at the doorway, watching me. The hair was short so it wasn’t C. the figure stepped in and shut the door behind him. I trembled.
Splash. Splash. Splash.
He was getting closer! I squirmed, crawling over to the wall.
Splash, splash. Splash, splash. He was coming faster! He was about a foot away from me when he stopped. I could barely make out the outline of him through the darkness.
I looked at him and he watched me looking at him. A long, tense moment passed before I spoke up, “Who are you?”
The man did nothing.
“Why am I here?”
Still nothing.
“SAY SOMETHING! TELL ME SOMETHING! WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE? I DID NOTHING TO YOU!”
The man slapped me. Once. Twice. Three times. Harder each time.
“You will not speak until spoken to, Danielle. Got that?”
I spat on his face, “You can’t tell me what to do.”
His fist met the side of my face, and a bit of blood slipped down my chin. My cheek was sore. I laughed a little.
“You think this is funny?!” He shouted, punching me twice more. I choked out a bit of blood and I couldn’t open my right eye. It was swollen and throbbing.
“This outta teach you a lesson.” He laughed, slipping his shirt over his head. I pressed myself against it as hard as I could, as if I could disappear into it. But he grabbed by my hair and yanked me away from it.
He unzipped his jeans and slid them off quickly, carelessly tossing them into the water. He looked me up and down, tears streaming down my cheeks. He gently wiped a couple of them away before sitting on my stomach, pinning my legs down with his knees and pinning my arms down with his. He grabbed my shirt and ripped it apart. He grinned a little, feeling me.
“Please, don’t!”
He slapped me once more, which hurt worse than any of the other ones, “Shut the fuck up and quit wiggling around!”
He then grabbed the top of my jeans, and tore those too. He pressed himself against me, caressing me and kissing my lips. I didn’t return it. He tried to slip his tongue inside my mouth, but I kept it tightly shut. He tried harder, getting irritated. When I would not give in, he wrapped a hand around my neck and gradually squeezed harder until I opened my mouth to catch a breath, and his lips crashed into mine, his tongue slipping inside my mouth.
My stomach churned. My heart was screaming, aching. I didn’t want to be here. This couldn’t be real.
The man reached around my back and unhooked my bra, throwing that into the water as well. He slipped out of his boxers, than tore my panties off. I shouted, I hissed, I pleaded, I cried. But the man was ignorant.
He repositioned himself, spreading my legs apart and holding my wrists down. He pressed against me again, a sharp pain flying through my body like an electric current. In and out, in and out. The electric current grew more painful each time.
A few minutes passed before I felt a little warmth down there and the man moaned so loud in my ears it gave me a headache. He stood and smiled, “Wasn’t that fun?”
My cheeks were damp with tears and I felt so dirty and used. I shook my head, glaring at him.
He chuckled, picking his clothes out of the water, “I know you love it, darling, but I’m sorry. I have work to do. But don’t worry, I’ll be back for more tomorrow.” He ran his hand through my hair and kissed me. I felt nauseous.
Once he was gone and I was in the dark again, I let it all out. I shouted and cried. I shouted a name I couldn’t understand. I felt so cold and alone. I wanted to go home and forget this ever happened. I just wanted to curl up in C’s arms, where I was safe, protected, loved.
I wondered if I ever would. If I’d ever be able to curl up next to him with his arms around me. If I’d ever feel his lips against mine. If I’d ever even see him again.

I jolted upright, my face wet with tears. I looked around frantically, I was home. The sun rays shining through the window were warm and comforting.
I stood but collapsed. I was shaking. My breathing was heavy. I was… afraid. Of what?
I had to find C. I just wanted to be in his arms. To find that comfort and protection and love I once knew and cherished. Maybe I didn’t remember anything of us, but I really needed his comfort.
Jaclyn was sprawled out on the couch, sleeping, like always. She was so lazy and didn’t even have a job. I wondered how she paid the bills. Did I even want to know? I glanced at the clock, 9:32. I slowly shut the door behind me, as to not make any noise, and I ran. I ran like hell.

I found him exactly where I always did; at the park under the tree. I sprinted as fast as I could toward him, but he was looking in the other direction. He sighed and stood, walking my way, and I crashed into him.
We fell, right into our spot in between the roots of the oak tree. I was crying again, I noted and as he recovered from the surprise, he ran his fingers through my hair, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
“Danielle, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?”
“The-the- and I-I- and he- and you- I.” none of my words made any sense. I couldn’t calm myself down enough to catch any breath to think or say words correctly.
C pulled me closer, against him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. It was a good 10 minutes or so before I could finally pull myself together and quit crying. But I loved the feel of being in his arms. It felt so safe… so… perfect.
“Danielle, what happened?” He asked, sincere.
I sighed and told him everything I remembered of the dream, biting my lip to keep from crying again. By the time I was finished, his eyes were watering instead. I hugged him as tight I could and he squeezed me back.
I sat on his lap, my head against his chest while he played with my hair.
A moment passed before I spoke up, “I’m sorry I didn’t come the past two days…”
“Why didn’t you? I… I missed you… so much.”
“I’m sorry! I just… I’m just really confused and afraid right now. And after the diner… when we almost kissed… I just… I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if I could trust you.” A couple tears slipped down my cheek and I buried my face deeper in his chest.
“And you have every right not to trust me. I’m sorry about that, Danielle. I know I shouldn’t have done that, I just I-I”
I cut him off with my lips. He was stunned for a second, but quickly melted into the kiss, our lips moving in perfect sync. I wrapped my hands around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. A few moments passed and I tried to pull away, but he pulled me back into it.
We both pulled away a minute later, breathing heavily. My knees were weak, my arms shaking, lips tingling, heart racing.
“Well that was…” he began.
“Amazing? Hot? Delicious?”
He smiled, “Yes.”

Chris

I smiled at her and she smiled at me, her eyes shiny and full of life. I felt whole again. She’d kissed me. She’d kissed me! My life suddenly had purpose, a meaning.
My senses had awakened. I was no longer numb. I could feel my warm, thick blood pumping through my veins. I felt my heart skip a beat. I felt myself take a breath. My eyes were open.
I swept Danielle into a tight hug, taking in her scent.
“You’re mine… you’re mine.” I whispered, a tear falling from my eye and being soaked up by the fabric of her black shirt.
She squeezed me, “And you’re mine.”


I sat across from her at the same table we’d sat at when we came here the first time, almost two weeks ago. I was wearing new black skinny jeans, a black shirt with a white guitar and wings on it, plus a solid black jacket that was two sizes too big for me. All new clothes. All clothes Danielle bought for me even though I’d begged her not to. My old clothes were hiding somewhere among Danielle’s laundry, waiting to be snuck into the washing machine by Danielle without Jaclyn’s knowing.
Danielle was wearing black skinny jeans that showed off her legs nicely. She was also wearing a solid black tank top, but it wasn’t exposing too much chest like the ones most girls wear. She wasn’t wearing any make-up, but she never did. She looked beautiful without it anyways. Her hair was messy and wild, and I liked it that way.
This was the third time we’d come here since I’d found her. I guess we were a thing again. Together. The one thing I’d wanted most since I was forced to leave her. But now that I had her, it all seemed… fake.
Fake. I didn’t deserve her, this wasn’t real. None of this. Most of all, this was unfair to her. She had to know. I’d caused her so much pain and she’d hated me for it. I felt like I was just using her now, taking advantage of her forgetfulness. I owed it to her to tell her. Everything. Then see if she wanted me.
But I was still selfish. I was afraid. I knew she’d leave me once she remembered everything. Or at least my name. I promised her I’d tell her everything when she remembered my name. She still did not and it broke me yet comforted me.
So I decided that’s how the universe would tell me when it was time to reveal the truth. When she remembered my name. For now, I’d cherish what I had with her, even if it was unfair. I’d endure the pain and guilt later. I kept my guilt and doubt to myself, so she wouldn’t be hurt. She’d think it was her. Like she wasn’t good enough or something.
But it was the other way around. I wasn’t good enough. She deserved more. She needed more. She needed something true. How could I be true when I spent my life wallowing in the past? The past she didn’t even know.
I didn’t want to lose her by telling her the truth but I didn’t want to be with her while she didn’t know. I felt so cruel and ugly. It was wrong. But I was falling for her all over again.
All these thoughts ran endlessly around in my head, creating this continuous internal argument of what was wrong and what I wanted.
I was stuck here. In this fork in the road. Either I abandon her again and leave her broken with my enemy, or I stay with her with this guilt constantly eating me and I grow more tense with every day, or I tell her the truth and lose her. Either way I turned, it wasn’t good.
I regretted ever have returned. I should’ve stayed in the house in the woods with the devil. It was what I deserved. I’d escaped and this torment was my punishment.

Chapter 7

Chapter 7
Jaclyn

She came home around 9:30, grinning like an idiot. The lights were all off, so she didn’t see me standing there watching. She gently closed the door behind her, the porch light streaming through the window giving me just enough light to see her. She smiled broadly and leaned against the door, hugging herself.
After a moment, she sighed, still smiling and finally flipped the light switch. The room was instantly flooded with light and Danielle jumped in surprise when she saw me standing there.
“H-Hi Jaclyn.”
“Hi Danielle.” I looked her up and down. She wasn’t wearing torn jeans like she usually did to go the park. She was wearing her nice pair of skinny jeans. The tight ones. I could smell the load of perfume she’d soaked herself in before she left.
“Where have you been?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Just… at the park.” She grinned slightly. There was a twinkle in her eyes I hadn’t seen in a long, long time.
I laughed a little. She was so obvious. “Who have you been hanging out with?” I asked, leaning against the doorway that led to the kitchen.
“Nobody. I just like going to the park and walking and stuff.” Danielle frowned.
“Danielle.” I made my voice sterner now, more sincere. I already knew the answer. I knew she’d lie. “Danielle you don’t go the park and ‘walk’ from morning till the afternoon then go back an hour later just to stay until 9 o’clock at night. I’m not stupid.”
“Jaclyn you’re tired and confused. Go to bed.” Danielle made her voice soft and innocent.
“Danielle stop lying to me.” I stepped closer. Closer, closer. Until I was in her face, “I know what you’re up to.” I glared at her and headed back to my bedroom down the hall, catching her heavy sigh as I left.

Danielle

I could never hold back the huge smile that spread across my face whenever I saw him. He was my best friend, my confidant, and just recently my boyfriend. And yet he was still an almost complete stranger to me. He still refused to give me his name until I remembered.
“Hey.” I said, wrapped my arms around him.
He pulled me close, “Hey Honey.”
I intertwined my hands with his and stared into his big, navy eyes. They were so dark they were almost black and you could get lost in them forever. He planted a kiss on my lips, and I returned it, nibbling on his bottom lip until he granted me entrance and my tongue explored his mouth. It tasted of strawberry starburst, my favorite candy in the world.
He pulled away and just stared at me. There was a flicker of some kind of emotion in his eyes. A dark emotion, of sadness or… guilt? But it was gone before I could comprehend what the emotion was.
“What are you staring at?” I asked.
He smiled, “You’re beautiful, you know that?” He pulled me into another tight hug, “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Jaclyn

I had been suspicious for a while now, but I told myself I was just being overprotective. Ever since Chris returned a month ago, Danielle has acted… strangely. She was never home. Barely talked to me. She seemed distant. She never told me of her dreams, so I never gave her the pills.
I think I began to understand when I noticed she would drown herself in perfume and brush her hair and wear nice clothes when she went out. To ‘walk’ at ‘the park’.
So I decided to follow her. I waited a couple minutes after she left before silently sneaking out the front door and following her in my black jacket and baggy jeans. I kept the hood on so she wouldn’t recognize my face if she turned around.
I kept about 20 feet between us until we reached the park, where I dashed behind a tree to watch what she would do next.
She met up with a man… CHRIS!
They greeted each other, hugged and started to make-out. The whole thing was disgusting. I needed to get her away from him. He’d hurt her! I had to get her away! Then I needed to overdose her on those pills so she’ll forget! And if she didn’t? I had to try. I couldn’t let her be with him and be hurt again!
I ran out of my hiding spot, dashing towards them.
“Danielle! Get away from him!”

Chris

Our perfect moment of holding one another and staring into each other’s eyes was rudely interrupted by a frantic, screaming woman running towards us, her arms flailing about.
“Danielle! Get away from him!”
Jaclyn quickly wrapped her arms around Danielle’s waist and tore her from me in the blink of an eye. I could and should quickly and easily snap Jaclyn’s neck and take Danielle and just run. But I knew that wasn’t a good idea. I stood back and watched the scene unfold before me.
“Let! Me! GO!” Danielle screamed, trying to pry Jaclyn’s hands away, but she was weak.
“No! He’s evil! He’ll hurt you!” Jaclyn glared at me, and I glared back.
I lunged toward them and punched Jaclyn in the face, grabbing Danielle and pulling her back to me. She clung to me like a scared child.
“Danielle.” Jaclyn growled, holding her sore cheek, “Get over here NOW.”
“You’re not my mom! You can’t tell me what to do!” Danielle shouted.
“Danielle, I’m just looking out for you. That man is evil. He nearly killed you in the past.”
Danielle tensed next to me. Jaclyn had it worded all wrong! It was true, it was my fault but it wasn’t my doing!
“Jaclyn, I am not evil! The whole reason I returned was to ask for forgiveness! The whole reason I brought her back and allowed them take me and hold me prisoner was for her sake! To make sure she was safe! Yes it was all my fault, I know! But I’m sorry and the guilt is killing me, that’s why I’m here, not to harm her but to make up for what I’ve done. Unlike you, whose been giving her pills to make her forget! Plus whatever else you’ve done because I don’t believe some measly pills can make you forget an entire past.” The words streamed out of my mouth like an endless river. Memories were flooding back into my mind, my eyes were watering.
Danielle squeezed me gently, offering me some support, while she stared up at me, confused, trying to figure out what this all meant.
Jaclyn laughed, “I did it for her. It was tearing her apart. For three weeks she tried to kill herself. Either slicing her wrists, starving herself, hitting her head on walls… I couldn’t take it! I had to make her forget! So you know what? I took her and I slammed her head against the bathtub. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I don’t regret it. She was better after that. She was happy. Until you showed up again! You’re screwing everything up! Why can’t you just leave us alone and let Danielle be happy and at peace? Why must you keep hurting her?”
I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. It took a few minutes to comprehend it. Jaclyn had slammed Danielle against the bath tub?
Anger boiled within my veins, my fists clenching. She disgusted me.
Danielle let go of me and stepped toward Jaclyn, “What?”
Jaclyn stayed quiet, staring at the both of us.
“You… slammed my head against the bathtub… to make me forget?” Danielle said coldly. I could feel the betrayal, the hate, the fear in her voice.
“For your sake, Danielle. Now come with me. Away from this evil man.”
Danielle shook her head, “No. He’s not the evil one here, Jaclyn.” She took a step backward. I had a feeling I knew what would happen next. “How could you do that to me? You took my life away from me! I have to start from scratch! 20 years of memories and experience and emotion… of me… gone. Just like that. All because you wanted to feel like a hero. Because you didn’t want to waste your time helping me get through a rough spot in my life.”
Jaclyn laughed nervously, “Danielle, you don’t understand.”
“Oh I understand. Now YOU understand ME, you’re fake. You’re a liar, a backstabber. I… freaking… HATE YOU!”
Jaclyn’s grin pressed into a hard line, “D-Danielle.”
“Guess what Jaclyn, I ain’t coming home again. You should be happy… since you don’t have to deal with me anymore. Since I’m such a burden. So just… goodbye Jaclyn.”
Danielle walked right past Jaclyn, who was lost and confused. I was also confused, but I followed Danielle. Then Jaclyn followed me. I caught up to Danielle, but Jaclyn kept a 10 foot distance between her and us. We came back to Jaclyn’s house, where Danielle pulled me inside and to her room.
She pulled out an old, black backpack from her closet. I recognized it because she’d used it during 11th and 12th grade. Only then did it hit me what Danielle was doing. She opened each drawer of her dresser, pulling out only 1 piece of clothing from each, and stuffed them into the biggest part of her backpack. She turned toward the table, where I grabbed her and held her still for a moment.
“Let go of me…” She whispered, glaring up at me.
“Danielle, where are you going to go? You need to stay here… where it’s safe and you’ll have clothes and food.”
“Safe? It’s not safe here! I’d rather be cold, naked and starving than live with the woman who took my memory away! What if she does it again? I’ll never know. So I’m coming with you.”
She pulled out of my grasp and took her laptop, laptop charger, mp3 player charger and mp3 player and stuffed these in her backpack as well. A picture frame on her desk caught my eye. In it was a familiar picture of her and Jaclyn at the fair. I picked it up, remembering that day.
“What’s so interesting about that picture?” Danielle asked from the doorway, ready to go with her loaded backpack on her back.
“Um… what’s interesting is what’s not there.” I squinted at it.
“What do you mean?” Danielle asked, now beside me, looking over the picture as well.
“Where am I? I was in the picture too. Look there’s my hand… around your waist.”
Danielle looked closely, nodding, “The picture’s cut. Jaclyn did that, I guess. She gave it to me like this.” She wrapped an arm around me.
I chuckled a little, “You were so scared to go on the Ferris wheel. Took me 20 minutes to talk you into coming on it with me and Jaclyn. You clung so tightly to me. You were shaking the whole time!”
She smiled, “Not my fault I’m a coward.”
“You’re not a coward. In fact, when we got off, you wanted to go again. My gosh, you were so happy that day! We had so much fun! Any who, let’s go.”
I turned to leave, but she pulled me back and planted a kiss on my lips before following me out the door. Jaclyn stood there, watching us. Her short black hair was all messy and knotted. I gestured for Danielle to wait outside so I could talk to Jaclyn in private.
I stepped over to Jaclyn, staring down at her. She was about an inch or two shorter than me.
“Give me the letter.”
“What letter.” She squinted up at me, trying to look tough.
“The letter I wrote for Danielle. The one you were supposed to give her but never did.”
Jaclyn sighed, pulling out a small white envelope from inside her jacket. On it, in shaky black Vivaldi, was Danielle’s name. I took it from her and looked her head to toe one last time before parting ways.
“You hurt her, I swear to god I’ll kill-“
She was cut off by the slam of the door behind me. I didn’t need to waste my time with her meaningless blabbering. I took Danielle’s hand and let my heart lead us. I didn’t know where to go. I had nowhere, she had nowhere.
Should I take her to that house in the woods? The very house we’d been held prisoner in? Perhaps it would let her remember faster. Perhaps it would torment me.
I couldn’t go there. Not yet. Not while those memories were fresh on my mind. I decided I would take her there only when I told her everything.
So I led us to the only place I knew; the park, of course. Where else was there? Danielle felt how tense I was and squeezed my hand beside me, offering some support. It was my job to protect her now. To feed her, make sure she was well. Make sure she was happy, but most importantly, safe. I swore on my life I would.
We sat under that oak tree quietly for some time, both thinking about the future and how different things would be.
Eventually I grabbed her and kissed her, telling her how lucky I was to have her and that she was safe. Then we both took a trip down to Winn Dixie and Danielle experienced her first theft, even though it was only a measly box of saltine crackers.

Instead of sleeping alone that night, as I always did, I had Danielle curled up next to me and I laid my jacket over her like a blanket so she wouldn’t be cold. I kissed her lightly on the forehead and whispered, “Goodnight.” Before shutting my eyes and giving into a much-needed sleep, with the love of my life finally in my arms again, where she was meant to be.

Chapter 8

Chapter 8
Danielle

I was in that damned room again. Still chained. Still cold. Still scared. My whole body was sore, especially between my legs. I’d lost track of the time and the days after day 4.
The door shot open and light flooded the room, stinging my eyes. A familiar voice echoed through the room , “Danielle! Danielle, are you here?”
“…O-over here!” I managed in a dry, hoarse voice.
“Danielle!” C shouted, wrapping his arms around me. He squeezed me tightly, sobbing into my chest, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Danielle! I’ll make up for this, I promise!”
“Please, help me…” I whispered.
He nodded and started pulling the chain around my ankle, trying to break it, but it wouldn’t budge. He’d almost gotten it undone when two more figures burst into the room. A man with short blonde hair and a woman with long wavy blonde hair. They looked to be siblings.
She shouted at C, but I couldn’t hear well anymore. My vision was fading. The two pried C from me and began to beat him. He fought back, but they were stronger. The Man held him still as the woman continued to punch him and kick him until he was too weak to even lift a finger.
The woman laughed and told him something, but I still couldn’t hear. I was falling into a black abyss, my heart aching.

“Danielle… what… what did you dream of?” C asked over and over, pulling me into a tight embrace.
I managed, in between sobs, “Dark room… you… beaten… woman… blonde hair… man who… ra… me…”
“I’m sorry, Danielle… it’s okay…” He ran his fingers through my hair and wiped the tears from my face as they fell. I hadn’t even noticed it was still dark out until I finally calmed down and quit crying.
“What time is it?” I asked, curled up against him. He had his arms around me protectively. I felt so safe, so secure. Like always.
“No idea. I’m guessing 5 or 6 in the morning. You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
He stood, grabbing my hand to help me up, “Come on, let’s go watch the sun rise.”
I smiled, following him to the bench overlooking the lake. It was small, wooden and creaky, but we fit snuggly on it. We watched the first orange and pink sun rays flood through the sky and dance through the clouds, creating a beautiful, calm scenery. But my thoughts kept drifting back to the dream. Who were those two who beat C?
“C, there were two people in my dream. A woman with wavy blonde hair and a man with short blond hair. Both around 20, like us. You ran into the room and tried to free me, but they caught you and beat you…”
C didn’t even turn my way. In his eyes I caught a flash of recognition and pain. He just nodded, gaze stuck on the sky and the rising sun.
Eventually he turned to me and said, “Let’s go eat at a restaurant for breakfast. “
“But we have no-“
He pulled out of his pocket a 20 dollar bill and a 5 dollar bill, handing them to me, “An old woman dropped these in front of me the other day in the grocery store. I picked them up and handed them to her, but she pushed them back and said I could keep them. She said I looked raggedy and hungry and should use it for some cheap clothes and some food.”
The bills felt crisp and fragile between my fingers. I’d never held so much money in my hands before. Then again, I didn’t remember anything so how would I know?
“Come on, let’s go.” C said, hoping up. He outstretched his hand for me to take and led us down the street.
We decided to eat at whatever restaurant we stumbled upon first, which ended up being a Denny’s. We were sat down and waited by a skinny woman with a Jersey accent, who explained she was indeed from Jersey and had two twin boys at home with a daddy who was a famous wrestler neither of us had ever heard of. Which wasn’t really surprising because I don’t watch T.V. anymore. Let alone sports or wrestling.
Both C and I ordered fluffy buttermilk pancakes and two tall glasses of orange juice. I fed him a couple bites of my pancakes and he fed me a couple bites of his. Sometime during our little date, I crawled into his side of the booth and snuggled up against him.
He smiled down at me, warming me on the inside, and planted a kiss on my lips that I melded into immediately. I entirely forgot we were in the restaurant until we were interrupted by the waiter, loudly clearing his throat. We both gently smiled up at him like little kids trying to get out of trouble and he just put the bill on the table and disappeared.
C took out the twenty and laid it on top of the bill before turning back to me and returning to our kiss. Of course, he pulled away before we got caught again. He wiped the hair from my eyes and smiled, the waiter discretely taking the bill and twenty.
“Want do you want to do today, Danielle?”
“How about we take a walk on the beach?”
A big grin spread across his face, “That sounds great.”

Chris

The only beach in our town is Meldridge beach on James Bay. It’s only a few miles from the shipyard. Danielle and I used to always go for walks and hang out there when we were still in high school. A small hill stretched out before it, followed by a few feet of sand and then the shoreline. The hill was covered in tall grass and a few trees here and there.
It was about a 4 to 5 mile walk from the diner, but that was fine. We had to walk everywhere anyways. Danielle and I arrived just a couple hours before sunset, so we snuggled up under one of the trees. Only a couple other people were on the beach today, but they ignored us so that was perfectly fine. Neither me or Danielle particularly like attention from strangers.
My mind kept drifting back to Danielle’s dream. With the blonde haired woman and man. I knew exactly who they were, but I didn’t want to admit it to Danielle.
But then she, of course, asked the dreaded question I’d been praying against.
“C, who were those people in my dream?”
I sighed, “Erick… and Amber.”
“But why did they take me? What am I to them?”
“You’ll know soon enough.”
She crawled out of my grasp, her fists clenched, “Why won’t you tell me anything? Why do you keep playing these games with me? Just tell me what happened! Tell me who they are! Tell me who you are!”
“Danielle I-“
“I just want to start over. All I need is to know my past.” Tears slid down her cheeks now, “I’m developing all kinds of feelings towards you. You’re all I have now, my best friend, my protector, my lover, but I need to know what happened between us. But you won’t even tell me your damned name! I am so tired of these riddles!”
My jaw tightened. She was furious with me. But I was still recovering, too. She wasn’t the only one who was hurt. Can’t she understand I’m not ready to face the past? All I wanted was to start over too but I had to forget the past in order to do that. I would give anything to switch places with her.
“It’s a good thing you don’t know, Danielle. It’s saving you a lot of pain. But that pain I can’t get away from. You can. I don’t want to see you hurt or in pain again. I’d rather you not know and be happy with me than for you to know and have to suffer… like me.”
She waved her hand, dismissing my words, “I need to know, C. Who is Amber and Erick?”
I said nothing, my throat swelling and drying. My heart was pounding so hard and loudly it could drown out drums that were right next to my ears.
Do it. Get it over with, Chris! Dump her! If you don’t, then both of you lose your lives.
That voice. That sharp, cold, feminine voice I knew all too well. That voice I wanted to forget but I knew I wouldn’t. It haunted my dreams and stained my past.
Get outta my head, Amber.
“You going to say something? Anything at all?” Danielle said, crossing her arms.
“I will tell you everything, Danielle. But not now.”
Tell her! Tell her you love me and not her!
“ ‘I’ll tell you later, Danielle. I’m not ready yet.’ “ Danielle said, attempting a male voice, mocking me.
I said nothing, just glared at her, fighting back tears and resurfacing memories of wavy blond hair, blue eyes and scarily pale skin. Then that cold, heartless voice.
She shook her head, hurt and confusion in her arms, “I’m just gonna go…”
I stood to follow, but she stopped me, “I wanna be alone… I need some time.”
“I’m not leaving your side. I have to-“
“You don’t have to do anything, I can take care of myself.”
I watched her sigh and move on, disappearing from my sight and the beach within minutes. I was tempted to follow her. Without her knowing. Just to make sure she’d be okay. But I needed to be alone as well. Flashbacks were rolling before my eyes like a movie. They reminded me of what I’d done. How I’d fucked up.
It’s insane how one simple thought can lead to another, then to a decision, an action which causes chain reactions. Before you know it, everything’s upside down. Your life went from perfect to hell in one single day’s time.

“Hey there, my name’s Amber Conrad.”
“Um, hi.”
I’d tried to walk away, but she followed me down the damned bread isle.
“You look upset, what’s bothering you?”
Oh my gosh, go away, “Nothing. Just...”
“Relationship problems?” Amber sighed, chuckling a little.
I’d squinted down at her. I was only an inch or two taller than her. She was the same height as Jaclyn. “How would you know?”
“How stiff you are. How dark your expression is. How you try to get away from me, but I follow anyways. So what’s going on between you and your lucky girlie?”
She needed to mind her own damn business. Wait, why was she watching me and following me?
“I’m just going to take my peanut butter and bread and get outta here and go home. Nice chatting.”
“Oh! I’ll come with you, I’m ready to go too.” All she had in hand was a bottle of beer and a bag of lays potato chips. An unusual combination.
And indeed she did go to the same check out line I did. Indeed she followed me inside, chattering away about her parents being judgmental and stupid. Then she went on about how she just dumped her boyfriend the other day because he always ignored her and called her ugly and stupid and fat.
She popped open the beer bottle she’d purchased. Yep, right in the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot. She offered me some and I gladly drank a bit out of the bottle. But… a bit turned into half the darned bottle.
“So… what’s going on with you and your woman?” She asked again before popping open the bottle.
I sighed, “It’s just… she’s so sensitive. She takes everything the wrong way. I say something or do the tinniest thing wrong, she freaks out and thinks it’s because I don’t want her, I don’t love her anymore, I’m cheating on her or something like that and she’s upset the whole day and it makes me feel guilty… like I’ve killed someone. I feel so… worthless and stupid.”
“Well… a lot of girls are like that. But I’m sorry you feel that way. You’re not worthless. I’m sure she loves you more than anything.”
“Yep…”
I took a sip from the beer bottle. But that sip turned into 5. Soon enough, I was buzzed.
“You know… you look really pretty.”
She had blushed and smiled. It had seemed so cute at the time, “Thanks.”
She’d invited me over to her house and I’d accepted. I followed her to her jeep and crawled in beside her. I wasn’t thinking at all. I regret everything!
She lived a few blocks over from Danielle, actually. She lived in a small blue house with a big porch and a pine tree in the front yard. On the inside, all the furniture matched. A small coffee table, a desk with a computer, a dining table with 4 chairs and a bookshelf all in the living room. Oak brown. Then there was the caramel brown velvet couch, but even that fit in. The house seemed perfectly clean – not one speck of dirt or a scratch on the furniture. The only flaw was myself. I knew I shouldn’t be there. But I stayed nonetheless.
She took out a case of beer and we drank it together. One beer turned into 2, which turned into 4 and eventually 5. Before I knew it, I was drunk.
I wasn’t thinking clearly at all at this point. I was staring at her neck. It was so pale and seemed so smooth… like Danielle’s. Something in my mind shouted, trying to get me to stop but I ignored it. I scooted closer to her on the couch and wiped the hair from her eyes and kissed her. I kissed her more passionately than I ever had Danielle. She ran her fingers through my hair, down my neck and my back.
God, it was mistake! But I couldn’t take it back.
I wrapped one arm around Amber’s waist and the other one held the nape of her neck. She slipped a hand to my crotch and caressed me. By now, I was trapped by whatever this thing was that was driving me. I couldn’t pull away. She’d brought out an animal in me and it was taking over.
I tore her clothes off, and she copied with mine. I trailed kisses down her body. So smooth… so delicate and fragile…
I gave into her guiltless. It wouldn’t be until the following morning, when I awoke naked beside her on the bed, when I realized what had happened and had felt the sinking of my heart with the guilt.
Amber rolled over, noticing I had just awoke, and she smiled.
“Morning, sexy.”
I had panicked and jumped up, my body sore. I wanted to die in that instant. I’d cheated on Danielle… my love… she’d never forgive me! I couldn’t bear to live without her! Why would I do this? What was I thinking? I ruined everything!
“I… I have to go.”
Amber frowned and sat upright, “What’s wrong?”
I slipped into my boxers and pulled my jeans on. Amber crawled out of bed and walked over to me, attempting to wrap her arms around me but I pushed her away. I growled, “This was a mistake! I wish I’d never met you.”
She shook her head, still confused, “That’s not what you said last night.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly put my shirt on, then found my jacket and slipped my hands through the sleeves. I ran to the door.
“Will I see you again soon?” She tried to sound innocent.
I glared at her over my shoulder, “No. This thing between you and me never happened.”
“Chris… sweetie don’t be like that. You told me that girl made you feel worthless… just stay with me. I’ll make you feel amazing.”
I growled at her, “You’re nothing but a home wrecking whore.”

At last, my eyes opened, freeing me from the torment of my memory. It was dark out. About 9 or 10 o’clock. I rolled over, only to notice Danielle wasn’t there beside me like she should be. That’s right, she’d gotten mad earlier and left. But I had to find her. Make sure she was safe.

Danielle

After I’d left C at the beach, I’d calmed down after about a half hour or so, so I returned to the beach, hoping he’d be waiting for me. But he was not. He was probably already at the park.
The sun had just set a little bit ago and it was already dark out.
I decided to take the long way back to the park so I could have a bit more time to think. I felt so used… by C and Jaclyn. How could she do that to me? Slam my head against the bathtub to make me forget… she ruined my life! I trusted her with everything and then I found she was the reason I didn’t remember anything! What else had she lied about? My name?
Well, no because that’s what C called me even the first time he saw me. But I felt used by him now. He wouldn’t tell me anything. Not until I remembered his name. I probably never would.
The only light I had was from the streetlights with about 15 feet of darkness between each. The streets were so quiet too, except for the occasional car or plane.
I’d been walking for about an hour or so, almost at the park, when I saw a man who appeared to be in his early 40’s, late 30’s sitting next to a dumpster I was passing. He was dangerously skinny, with raggedy jeans, a white shirt two times larger than his size, a little navy beanie and matching fingerless gloves. He had one lazy eye and a few missing teeth.
When he saw me walking past, he smiled and spit, “hay there yooounge lady.”
“Um… hi?” I fidgeted, hoping he’d leave me alone. He appeared to be drunk, by the way he talked to me and the way he was barely able to stand up. He had to hold the wall for support.
I turned to continue on, but he called me back, “C-Can you d-do meeee a faaavorr?”
Not wanting to be rude, I nodded. He gestured with his finger for me to come closer, and I felt like a dog. I wanted to run. What was this man going to say? Going to do? As I came closer, the stench of piss, sewerage and fish hit me. My stomach twisted inside of me. I wanted to puke.
The man grabbed my arm and pulled me as close to him as he could so that our bodies were pressed against one another. In that instant, he had also pulled a pocketknife out and had it stuck against my neck.
A little shriek escaped me, and he chuckled a little, “Kiss me.”

Chapter 9

Chapter 9
Chris

He had her against the wall. That sick, disgusting, evil man had my girl against the wall… with a knife to her throat! He was leaning in to kiss her but she had her head turned away. That’s when I stepped into the light and shouted, “Let her the fuck go.”
He glared at me, “Wha-w go away, boy. Thissss is not yooour concern.”
I headed over to them, “I said. Let. Her. Go. Or we’re gonna have trouble.”
He laughed and I punched him. He released his grip on Danielle and she stumbled backward. I caught her arm before she hit the cement and I pulled her back to her feet.
“You okay, Danielle?” I asked. She nodded and smiled.
The man laughed and I turned to glare at him, intertwining my hand with Danielle’s and leading her away from that wretched bastard.
I lead her back to the park and checked her arms and neck out for any scratches or bruises.
“C! I’m fine.” She laughed.
“I’m just making sure.” I wrapped my arms around her small waist and kissed her tenderly. Once I pulled away, I rested my forehead against hers, “Don’t you dare leave me again. No matter how pissed off you are.”
“I’m sorry…”
I laughed a little, running my fingers through her hair. I lead her to our tree and lie beside her, my arms around her protectively. She smelled like vanilla and heaven.

“Hey! You’re the guy from the library from last year! With the awesome hair!”
“And you’re the girl with the gorgeous eyes. Can I sit with you? I don’t know anybody else here.” Well, actually I did, but… I needed an excuse to sit next to Danielle.
She blushed a little, “Y-yeah, of course!”
I smiled warmly and took the empty seat next to her. Our language arts class was set up with 5 rows, 4 desks in each, with the two kidney-shaped tables in the back. At one of those tables in the back was where Danielle and I now sat. Everyone else took the regular desks, other than a skinny boy with long brown hair who took a seat at the other kidney table, as far away from us as possible.
“Danielle, right?”
She smiled, her eyes lit up, “Yeah. And you’re… Chris, right?”
I nodded and she grinned triumphantly.
“What have you been up to all summer?” I said, after a few moments passed.
“Um... just listening to music. Long walks. Sneaking out to the beach at midnight. You?”
“That actually sounds pretty fun. Let me join you sometime to the beach? My life’s pretty boring. Just lazy me lying in bed eating potato chips and doing whatever random shit I feel like on the computer.”
She chuckled, “You can join anytime. As long as you don’t try anything.” She raised an eyebrow.
“I promise I won’t. Unless you want.” I winked, “But seriously… I’m not like that. Distrust men? Or people in general?”
She shrugged, “Fear of men. Unless they’re hot. Especially one particular guy with dreads and brown eyes that I met in the library. He’s pretty cool. Hot, too.”
“Hmm. Well in that case, we should… go see a movie Friday?”
Her whole face lit up, “W-w-whaaat?”
I laughed, “Do you want to go see a movie Friday? With… me?”
“Yes! I mean… sure.”

Time in this dream skipped Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday right to Friday. Right to me pulling into her driveway with my dad’s black Malibu. Probably shouldn’t tell her I stole it, though. Or that I was a runaway living in a small mobile home my parents were using for storage. Right now they had no clue where I was. All they knew was that I had run away with some ‘mystery chick’ and that I was ‘happy’. Lies, but it would be kept that way.
Her house was small and white. On each side was a pine tree and there was a rose bush growing under the window to the living room. Through the window I watched Danielle stand, check herself over in the mirror then burst through the door and run towards the car and jump in the passengers’ side.
“Go! Before they come outside!” she shrieked just as a middle-aged couple followed her outside and came to the driver window to meet me.
The woman was a tad bit chubby, with freckles and short red hair. The man had blackish-gray hair and had cold gray eyes that made you feel like an intruder if you stared into them for so long. I rolled down my window and held out my hand, “I’m Chris. You’re Danielle’s parents?”
“Yes. I’m Shianne and this is Bill.” Shianne shook my hand kindly, but Bill didn’t.
“Hi.” He said, expressionless.
“Hello, how are you two?”
Danielle rolled her eyes beside me, sighing impatiently.
“Oh, we’re fine, thanks for asking! I can tell Danielle’s getting embarrassed by us, so we’ll just leave you too alone. Now go have fun at the movies! Have her home by 10, dear!”
“Of course, Shianne. Have a good evening.”
With that, I finally rolled up the windows and we were on our way. I looked over to Danielle a few times to catch her staring at me. She was in a very pretty black, sleeveless, ruffled dress that went down to about an inch above the knee.
Her neck… her shoulders… her arms… her legs! All so perfectly smooth and pale. So teasing. Touchable. Kissable. To die for. This girl would be mine. Had to be.
So far, looks definitely passed the test. Now to learn more about her and see what her personality was like. That would be the deciding factor.
It was 4:00 and our movie didn’t start until 6, so we decided to kill time by grabbing some Chinese food. She ordered fried rice with orange chicken and I ordered chow mein with a side of shrimp. We took our food to a table next to the fountain in the middle of the mall. Not too many people were here today, which was a good thing.
We shot the breeze until it was time to head into the movies and we, of course, took seats in the back row. We were the only people in the theatre, which was weird but cool. Halfway through, she intertwined her hand with mine, which sent shivers through me. Something told me she was the one then. There was something there I’d never felt before with anyone else. She was mine.

My eyes flicked open long before Danielle’s. The first sun rays were already peeking over the horizon. I lie there, watching Danielle sleep like an angel. So still. So peaceful.
Peaceful… I wonder how that feels. But I would never feel peace again. No, the guilt took that away from me. Along with many other things.
I didn’t want to wake her, so I gently played with strands of her hair. Sometime later, she groaned and rolled over, curling up against my chest. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, wrapping my arms tightly around her again.
She looked up at me then, blinking a few times.
“Morning, gorgeous.”
She stuck her tongue out at me and stretched, almost hitting me. She was so cute. I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her gently on the lips. Until she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, our kiss growing more passionate and urgent.
I let it go on for a few minutes before pulling away. Her eyes were wide and there was a huge smile across her face. It made me bubbly on the inside, to see her smile. Just as I remembered it.
“I want to show you something.” I stood, holding out my hand.
“Um… okay?” She said uncertainly, grabbing my hand and climbing to her feet.
“It’s nothing bad, I promise.” I laughed, holding her hand.
I turned us to the south and lead us down the road. We headed straight past Jaclyn’s house. We went on for maybe 2 miles or so before we reached the dirt road I was looking for. It trailed off the main road into the woods. The woods that were all too familiar to me. At least, I was far from that damned house.
I hoped it was still here. I hoped I was in the right place. We stopped on the dirt road for a moment and looked at each other. We were both drenched in sweat. It had to be almost noon. We’d have to get used to this walking around in the blazing sun all day every day.
For about a mile into the woods, was nothing. It seemed dark and desolate from where we stood. Danielle shivered beside me, “We have to go in there?”
“Danielle, you used to love the woods! Especially these.”
She looked around, “I do… but something about these woods seems weird… off… negative.”
And I know why.
“It’s okay, Danielle. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” I squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.
The woods were quiet. We were quiet. The only sounds were the birds, the crunching of leaves beneath our feet and the voices in my head. I was trying to tune them out. It was because of these woods and what had happened. I didn’t want to let it bother me right then, but it always bothered me. I couldn’t escape it. I just had to hold it in. Repress it.
After the 1 mile of plain woods, there were driveways. Each long and gravel, reaching far into the vast expanse of darkness, eventually leading up to a house with a big property. Most with horses.
I counted the driveways. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
7. Here it was.
I turned down the seventh driveway, but Danielle wouldn’t follow.
“Danielle, come on!”
“But we’re trespassing. And you know how those country folk are about trespassers. ‘violaters will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.’ “
I rolled my eyes, “Come on. Nobody’s shooting you.”
She shook her head and followed behind me up the road. It led to a big two-story house with a backyard that was basically a fenced field of 5 acres. With 3 oak trees. Behind the house were two empty stalls for horses, both with a trough and a bucket. This was made of wood and obviously added in by a previous resident. The house was white with a teal blue roof. There was a white truck parked in the driveway. In the grass in front of us, was a ‘For Sale’ sign with 3 bd / 3 bth written on it plus a phone number. It was completely surrounded by trees, which gave it an isolated feel.
Danielle looked around, amazed by its size, and ran to the wooden fence and looked around. She was entranced by the oak trees there. They were her favorite trees in the world. The oak trees were spaced about 10 feet from each other, somehow forming a perfect triangle. One of them was split down the middle, struck by lightning, but still alive and growing well.
“How’d you know about this place? Did you used to live here?” She turned to me.
“No.” I stepped over to her and wrapped my arms around her as she turned back to further observe the trees, “Two years ago you used to tell me all the time… you always wanted a two-story house with a big backyard. You wanted it next to the woods and for there to be at least one oak tree on the property. Well, after some research, I found this house. And for a year I’d saved up for it with the money I made from the computer repair shop. So when I finally had the money to buy it, I called the owner and we set up an appointment. For that night. So he could sign it over to us.”
She looked at me after a moment and frowned, “Are you okay? Your eyes are all watery…”
“I’m fine… So I was all excited about the appointment, you know. I knew you’d be happy too. But… but…”
I had to blink several times to fight back the tears threatening to break free. It seemed like there were always tears in my eyes. I was such a pussy.
Danielle kissed me, hugging me tightly. Then she whispered, “It’s okay… you don’t have to go on…”
“I went home… to tell you… but… when I got there… you were gone. Everything was smashed. Many things were missing. Even the box where I’d kept all the money I’d saved. I panicked… I didn’t… know… what happened… to you…”
My knees gave way under me and I collapsed to the ground, my face buried in my hands. Danielle sat beside me and let me cry on her shoulder while she ran her fingers through my hair and whispered sweet nothings in my ear.
She tried to take away my pain, my sadness. But she couldn’t. Memories are forever… well actually no. Not if someone smashes your head against a tub. Unfortunately, nobody did that to me and I was forever imprisoned in my cell of memories, torment and guilt.
“Danielle? Danielle!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes…
The couch was turned over. The fridge was wide open, the milk leaking all over the floor, the eggs crushed against the wall and many other things were destroyed within the fridge. The books were all tossed across the room and the lamp had been thrown against the floor. Danielle’s favorite jacket was lying there on the couch… torn halfway down the middle.
“W-Where is-is sh-she?” I stuttered, trying to hold back my sobs as I picked up Rex, Danielle’s jacket. He was a simple jacket. A black one with a hood and CONTAGIOUS printed on the back with the band’s new album cover. It was a simple rotting zombie. Now his head was torn in half. I’d bought the jacket for Danielle when we went to the Contagious concert after graduation. It was our celebration, you know. For some reason she just loved it and always curled up with it when I wasn’t there.
I looked around. I searched thoroughly. For any clue as to who did this. But none I found. So I collapsed on the living room floor and cried. For hours I sat there and cried. I was numb. I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop crying. I took a sewing needle and black thread and stitched Danielle’s jacket back together until it was secure. I held it close to me and cried in it until I finally fell asleep, the night after Danielle’s disappearance.
Maybe she hated me. Maybe she did all this, tore her own sweater and ran away. But that wasn’t like her… she wasn’t violent in any way. Plus she expressed her emotions. If she hated me she wouldn’t be with me.
What if she was dead… what if whoever robbed this place shot her or stabbed her and took her body away. I turned to the couch where she always sat waiting for me, with Rex at her side. No blood stains.
She was probably kidnapped. By who? Who would want to kidnap a 19 year old girl Who was engaged? She didn’t have any enemies. Not that I knew of.
Wait.
Then it hit me.
Danielle had one enemy. Not that she knew about. Until now. I thought I didn’t have to deal with her anymore! Wasn’t my leaving enough?
But she wouldn’t just take her and not want something from me. She must’ve left a note or something. Where would she leave a note…
I checked the couch. Nothing. The table. Nothing. Rex’s pockets.
I unfolded the note before me.

Chris
Real stupid of you to leave me.
You thought it’d be that easy?
How’s this for a home-wrecking whore?
Well.
Surely you understand the need for this.
I must claim what is mine.
There is a house, about 10 miles into the
North woods. My Brother lives there.
We are here.
If you want your precious girl to survive,
You will find me.
You will dump her.
Then we can finally be together
Happily forever after!
<3 <3 <3
~ Amber

That evil, wretched woman! How could she do this? Why now? It’d been a month since I’d seen her. And today was Danielle and I’s anniversary… the news about the house was my anniversary present to Danielle.
Kidnapped. On our anniversary. By the girl I’d cheated on her with.

Chapter 10

Chapter 10
Chris

“C? C!”
Something gripped my shoulder tightly and shook me.
“C… please… “, Danielle said nervously. She pressed her ear to my chest and sighed in relief at my heartbeat, still trying to shake me.
“C! Wake up!”
“Am… wh… I… Danielle?”
“Yes, C, it’s me. You passed out about an hour ago and now I’m hungry.”
I looked around. We were still at the house. I scrambled to my feet, almost stumbling back down, but Danielle caught me in time.
“C… are you okay?”
“I’m fine… just… memories, you know. Let’s go, before this place kills me.”
Danielle nodded and grabbed my hand.
The walk was pretty quiet up until we reached the main road. The whole time my head was hurting from all the resurfacing memories. That witch’s face. Danielle’s disappearance. The way she looked at me when I found her in the woods. The wolf. The basement. The blood. The pain. The endless nights spent in silent torment, demons trying to claw their way out of me.
Once we reached the cement road, finally out of those woods, I stopped abruptly and wrapped my arms around Danielle, my head on her chest. I could hear her heart.
Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
Her heart was so… calm. It didn’t skip any beats or sound as if it would explode. Not like mine did. Her heart was still pure, carefree, happy. Mine wasn’t. It couldn’t be. It was tainted with sin and blackened by my coldness. Not to mention what horrible deeds I’d done that nobody knew of yet. Except me and maybe that wolf.
Danielle squeezed me tightly, a soothing comfort.
After a couple minutes, I pulled myself away from the safety of her arms and the calming sound of her heartbeat and said, “Let’s go get you something to eat.”

Danielle

It was dark. Not so dark where I couldn’t see anything but still dark enough to scare me. After the basement, I didn’t think I’d ever trust the dark again. My whole body was sore. My genitals stung with every sudden movement. God, it’s bad enough to go through that once. Now I understood rape victims and their suffering. But me… I was raped… 12 times. In a matter of days. By the same man. In the same room. No sleep or any kind of recovery in between.
You never know what it feels like to go through something like that. You hear about it, read about it, see it, you know people who’ve gone through it, but you never really know. You always think ‘well I can protect myself. That would never happen to me’ but then it does and it leaves you broken… dirty… helpless… used.
Last thing I remembered was C barging in. Then the woman and the man beating him up. Then she knelt down and whispered some things into his ear, no of which I heard. But unlike the other dream, I didn’t fall unconscious. This time I stayed awake, crying, shouting for C to keep fighting.
But once he couldn’t fight anymore, he gave in. Just sat there. And the woman talked to him for a minute or two, then kissed his forehead. I caught a single tear slip down his cheek before he wiped it away and headed over to me and said those words.
Yet I knew they meant nothing. He only broke up with me for our safety. Now I understood. It was the only way. And the man had knocked me unconscious once more. God only knows what he did after that. Until I woke up here. Wherever here is.
The middle of the woods. I looked around. God, I was still naked. Covered in blood. The wolves would be after me in no time. But no, I didn’t care. Now I knew the truth.
I lie down on the soggy Earth and prayed that I would die there. Painlessly, just let me fall asleep and let this be done with.
But then, “Danielle!” I heard. It was C.
God, just let me die here, please. Why couldn’t he give it up? There was no escape now.
Suddenly he was next to me, holding me in his arms, “Danielle, I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, I never meant for this. I will make it up to you… I will find a way… we’ll be okay, Danielle, I promise! Baby, I love you!”
And he was torn away from me in an instant. The woman and man had followed. Erick had grabbed C and had him in a headlock. The woman picked me up, well, sat me on my knees, holding a blade to my throat.
“You never learn do you? Well, this is your last chance. Do anything other than nod and her life is mine.”
“Just take it. I’m done here.” I choked out before laughing a little. Until it ended with a gag.
C was crying, still.
The woman let me go and I fell limp to the ground. I adjusted my head just a wee bit so I could watch what was happening, though I was too weak to do anything now. The woman made the man let C go and she pulled him to his feet by his shirt.
“Kiss me, or she dies.”
He gulped, biting his lips before reluctantly giving in. His expression… so disgusted by what was flickering inside his mouth. Who’s lips were syncing with his. Who’s teeth were biting him. Who’s tongue was tasting him.
Finally she pulled away, grinning, “Now.”
C looked as if he was about to puke. He looked at me, his eyes filled with pain, regret, emptiness, pleading for my understanding, “Danielle… we’re done.” He muttered, “again.”
The woman laughed and took his hand, “Let’s go. We need not waste any more time with this filth. It’s going to die, don’t you see? Thank goodness.”
But C kept firmly planted, not 5 feet from me, biting his lip to keep from crying further.
“Just one thing. Or… two. And I’ll be yours eternally.”
“And that is?”
He let a couple tears go, “Assure me her safety. Let me bring her back to our best friend’s house so that she can be treated and healed. And I swear, if you let her die here, I will find a way to kill you, Amber.”

I sucked in a deep breath, instantly regretting it. It stung my throat and it took me a few deep breaths to relax, slow down my racing heart and calm down again.
“You okay, Danielle?” C asked beside me, his head on his hand, propped up by his arm on a tree root.
“I’m… fine.”
He gave me that ‘are you serious’ look and said, “Okay, what did you dream about?”
He sat upright, legs crossed, facing me.
“Well. It was a continuation of the one where I was in chains and you came in… and they beat you. I woke up in the woods… and then you came… and y-“
“Shh.” He said, index finger now pressed against my lips, “I know how this story ends.”
He looked at me for a moment, his eyes guilty and scared. He buried his face in his hands and I ran my fingers through his hair until he finally looked up at me with watery eyes. They looked like shiny jaspers the way the light reflected off them.
“You, on your own, have figured out most of the story. But you never knew my part. You understood what happened and why, but… you don’t really understand. What I went through. Why and how we’re still alive… why we’re here now.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“I can’t. Not until you remember everything clearly… shouldn’t be too long now.”
He stood. I peered up at him.
“You coming? To get breakfast?”
I nod, “I just.” I finally stand, with his help, “Just… thanks. For everything you’ve done this past month.”
He gives me a quizzical look, “I’ve done nothing.”
“You’ve protected me, fed me, cared for me, given me someone to trust, someone to talk to… you’ve given me a purpose. Without you, I would’ve ended myself long ago.”
“You tried.”
“But you stopped me from trying again. Because after the first time, you know what you can survive and you know what to do to actually finish it the second time. You made me happy, you gave me the desire to live again.”
“Quit talking like this, Danielle.” He said, a hint of fear in his eyes.
I laughed it off, “Sorry. I’m just trying to make a point and say you mean everything to me and that you’ve done a ton for me. Happy Valentine’s day.”
His expression went blank, “Its… V-Valentines Day?”
I nod.
“But I didn’t get you anything!”
“Well I didn’t get you anything either.”
He sighed, “Well… this’ll do for both of us.” He grabbed me and his lips crashed into mine. They synced almost automatically. Like some kind of magnets. He wrapped his arms around my waist like always, with me wrapping mine around his neck.
I wouldn’t let him pull away after a couple minutes like he always would, I kept it going. Both of us were breathing hard and my heart was pounding quicker and harder against my chest by the second. I wanted him… there and then. It was that simple. Yet not simple at all. How would you explain such a feeling?
This time I pulled away and he trailed kisses down my neck, to my collarbone. He had me pressed against the tree. Poor tree.
He took the edge of my shirt in his teeth and tugged on it the tiniest bit, looking up at with hungry eyes through a wall of messy bangs. It sent a shiver through me that only made me want him more. His kisses found their way back to my neck, where he sucked a little until a little moan escaped my lips.
He finally pulled away, a triumphant smile across his face, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Chris

We were in the gas station, looking for something small to steal for breakfast. Maybe some chips, or candy or a can of soup. Along with a bottle of soda or water we could steal from the open truck delivering water and soda bottles. The man who was supposed to be unloading was fast asleep in the drivers’ seat of the truck. It was just a regular day, a week after Valentine’s Day. We didn’t anticipate what would happen next though.
A man in a ski mask walked in, pistol in hand. First, he pointed it at the cashier, “Put all the money in this bag.” He threw a small brown sack on the counter. The cashier, a fat man with short brown hair and glasses, nodded and scrambled to get the keys and unlock the register.
Then the man in the ski mask pointed his gun at each of us, the four customers in the store, “Everybody get down.”
We all shot to the ground, Danielle beside me. The man turned and went to the other customers, as a second man in a ski mask walked inside, found the first man, and ran to him.
“Come on, Danielle.” I whispered, quietly climbing to my feet. I pulled Danielle up with me and we ran for the door.
“Hey!” The man in the ski mask shouted.
An unbearable stinging shot through my thigh, followed by intense burning. Danielle screamed next to me and I groaned in pain.
“I said get the fuck down!” the man shouted again, gesturing for us to lie down.
Danielle pulled me to the floor slowly so she wouldn’t hurt me. Only on the floor did I look down and actually see the blood pouring from my thigh. I felt dizzy, weak and nauseous.
“Damnit, James! You said we weren’t going to shoot anybody!”
“I said you weren’t going to. Now let’s get the fuck out of here!”
He took the now full sack from the cashier and both of the men disappeared out the door. At first, we heard the screeching of tires as the cashier called the police.
“Yes!... Yes!... There’s been a robbery! A man was shot! We need an ambulance here fast!”
“C.. C… don’t… C! Stay with me!” Danielle said, crouching beside me. Her cheeks were damp with tears.
I tried to fight the darkness overcoming me, but it was too much. I gave in and everything faded black before me.

Chapter 11

Chapter 11
Chris

It had been too long. Way too long. I was sick of being here. Sick of her face. Sick of his face. Sick of being held prisoner. Sick of being forced to live with someone, kiss someone, make love to someone I despised. The whole thing sickened me. How could she do everything she did and expect me to just fall in love with her?
“It’ll take time to get over the bitch, Chris, that’s okay. I’m here for you now. I’m better than her. I’ll make you feel amazing.” She’d said over and over again.
But I could never get over Danielle. No, I loved her. You never get over someone you love.

I had to escape. So, in all the free time I could capture, I devised a plan. All in my head. I couldn’t risk writing it down and having her find it. She finds everything.
I bought 4 pairs of handcuffs. So, the next time Amber wanted to get ‘frisky’ I played along with it. This was the only time I was ever eager to get into it, and I suspected that she knew. Hopefully she’d just think I was finally over Danielle.
I handcuffed her wrists and ankles to the bedposts, after I’d stripped her down. This was the last time I’d ever have to look at this pathetic, worthless excuse of a human.
I knelt over her, kissing her lips, then down to her neck. I sucked on one particular spot until she gave me a little moan. It made my stomach turn.
That’s when I finished all the nonsense. I pulled off my shirt and used it to tie around her head as a blindfold. She still didn’t suspect anything. I knelt over and grabbed hold of a pillow and pressed it to her face. At first she was confused. But she learned quickly and started fighting back, squirming and screaming into the pillow, but her sounds were too muffled for anyone to hear or understand. I was on her stomach, weighing her down, though she couldn’t break from the handcuffs anyways.
I pressed the pillow harder and harder against her face until finally, almost a minute later, she relaxed and the squirming ceased. I held the pillow for a minute more in case she was faking this to get free.
Once I lifted the pillow, I checked for a pulse or any breath. There was nothing. I grinned. Finally. This bitch had me no more. I held her head in my hands and twisted until her neck snapped.

There was a beeping noise. I tried to open my eyes, but something was holding them shut. There were some muffled voices, both male and female, but none I could recognize.
“W-what’s going on?”
“He’s awake.” A lady said.
“W- who are you? Where am I?”
“Shh, shh, calm down.” A man said from next to me, “It’ll be done with soon.”
That was what they always said in horror movies where the guy wakes up in what he thinks is a hospital but turns out to be someplace where they torture people and kill them. Was there I was? Was this how it would end? In a torture chamber? Tortured for my murders, my lies, my infidelity.
“Hand me the-“
But his voice was lost to my thoughts.
I didn’t want to die here. I wanted to get back to Danielle. We were finally close again. She was just within my grasp.
A stinging shot through my right arm that only lasted for a split second before replacing by a numbness. A numbness that slowly spread throughout the rest of my body. I shut my eyes once again, these final words on my mind, ‘I love you Danielle.’

For a moment I just sat there, staring at her cold, lifeless body. She was dead. The witch was dead. Now the only thing sitting between me and my Danielle was Erick.
But before I could worry about how to exterminate Erick, I had to dispose of Amber.
Luckily I already had all this figured out. I took the pillow out of its case and threw it on the floor. I took the handcuffs off Amber and took her body plus the pillow case to the bathroom. God, the disgusting things we did in this very room. This very bathtub I was laying her body in. I ran to the kitchen, grabbed the butcher knife from the counter and returned to the bathroom. I untied my shirt from her expressionless face and slipped it back over my head.
I took the knife and slid it across her throat. Again, again, again. The blood oozing out, pouring into the bathtub. Once her head was separated from her body, I went on to the arms. Then the legs. I cut these pieces into smaller pieces. Than even smaller pieces. Until I could fit them in the pillow case. The bathtub was half full of blood and I was drenched in it by then.
After letting the blood drain, then washing the bathtub clean, I washed myself and threw my clothes in the trash, hiding the full, soaked pillow case in the closet.

Danielle

Pacing. Pacing. A baby was crying. Some guy was reading a newspaper.
I couldn’t get the picture out of my head. The blood. The pain in his eyes. The men in the ski masks. I tried to calm myself down by pacing and breathing in and out slowly. But it didn’t work. Nothing could calm me or ease my worry.
Why was it taking so long? The ambulance had taken him from the gas station to the hospital, but wouldn’t let me go with. The police arrived with them and one of the officers questioned me about the robbery before driving me to the hospital.
Once we got to the hospital, they had rushed him into surgery. But that was 3 hours ago. Why was it taking so long? What happened? Was he okay? Did he die and they just didn’t want to tell me? So they kept me here, in the waiting room, worried out of my mind?
No, it couldn’t be, he had to be okay. I couldn’t lose him now. Not now, not ever.
“Danielle?” A female voice called from behind me.
I turned to face the blonde-haired nurse standing in the doorway beside the front desk. I walked up to her, “W-what happened? Is Chris okay?”
Wait… Chris?
“Yes, Danielle, he’s fine. The surgery went smoothly. We took the bullet out and stitched up the wound. Right now he’s resting in room 206. You may go see him if you want.”
“Y-yes! Show me where that is.”
“Follow me.” She turned on her heels and headed down the hall, swinging her waist as she walked.
I followed closely behind, relieved that he was okay. But also wondering why I’d called him Chris. Who was Chris? Then it hit me.
He had me call him C. The first letter of Chris. It had to be his name. Had to be.

The nurse led me down three different hallways before we finally reached his room. She told me to be quiet and told me if something was wrong or if he was in pain to press the red button on the remote beside him and someone would be over immediately. I thanked her before she left and I went inside, taking a seat in the chair beside the bed.
He was fast asleep. So still… so silent. His eye twitched a couple times, but he didn’t wake up. Not for a long, long while.

Chris

When I finally opened my eyes, I looked around. There was that beeping again. Almost everything in the room was white. The walls, the floor, the blanket covering me.
I turned my head and saw Danielle sitting there, gaze to the floor. Her hair was all messed up and tangled. This didn’t feel real. This was just like when I came to see Danielle in the hospital. Only I was in the patients’ bed now and she was the one waiting for me to wake up.
“Am I dead?” I said, shattering the silence.
Her head shot up in surprise. There were bags under her eyes, bloodshot from crying. She looked at me and smiled, “No. You’re in the hospital, with me.” After a moment she continued, “They took the bullet out of your thigh and stitched you back up. They say you’ll be fine.”
I sighed in relief. I didn’t die in a torture chamber after all. I’d just woken up during the surgery. They could’ve said so.
“Do you need anything? Water… food… anything?”
“Well, a hug would be nice.”
She smiled warmly and leaned over, wrapping her arms around my waist. She laid her head against my chest and I ran my fingers through her hair, untangling the knots.
“I was so worried…”
“There’s no need, Danielle. I’m fine.”
She looked up at me, her eyes moist and shiny. Scared.
“…I…”
“You what?” I asked.
“I… I… I… I love you, Chris.”
I lost my breath. I blinked a few times. Did I really hear what I just heard? She said my name. She remembered my name! And she loved me! My heart skipped a beat or two and I felt like I was going to die.
“Oh my god, I love you too, Danielle! I always have and I always will!” I pulled her into a tight embrace, crying into her shoulder.
Some time passed before I pulled back and stared into her eyes, “You said my name…”
She laughed a little, “So I did.”
I shook my head and smiled, “Do you remember me now?”
She nodded, “I do. I met you in the library in 9t h grade. We had language arts together. We sat in the back at the kidney table. The first Friday after school started, we went to the movies and saw War of the Worlds and we were the only ones in the theatre. The next weekend we went to the beach, where we had our first kiss. The end of eleventh grade, we moved into that house on Prophet. Every Valentines Day you’d bring me chocolates, flowers and some kind of stuffed animal. The Christmas of 12th grade, you proposed to me. We were going to get married the next October and April 22nd was our anniversary of getting together. We always spent it eating out then spending the night at the beach. After graduation, we went to the Contagious concert, where you bought me that jacket.”
“Rex. You know… when you were kidnapped… I found him ripped… I went insane there until I found Amber’s note but until then all I could do was cry. I stitched him back up for you… he’s still there, you know. Everything is still there.” I fought back tears.
She was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “When they let you out of this place, let’s go… see how it is now.”
I shook my head, “I promised I would tell you the truth when you remembered my name. I’ll tell you everything. But I want to take you somewhere first. Then we can go home.”
She smiled, “Fine.”
“He’s awake?” A blonde nurse said, peering her head through the doorway.
“Yes, ma’am.” Danielle said, “When can he go home?”
“Well, the bullet didn’t hit anything major. No bone damage. He should still be able to walk. I’d say he can go home tomorrow. He’ll need A LOT of rest, though.”
Danielle nodded and the nurse left us alone again.
Everything was silent for a moment.
“I have a question for you, Danielle.”
“And what is it?”
“When I first saw you at the park… you were crying. Why?”
She sighed, “I always felt so… alone… so misunderstood. So used. Since I remembered nothing, I felt like there was a huge part of me missing. A part of my heart. It’s torment, not to remember anything. Even if the past was bad, it’s better to remember than not to. If you don’t remember anything, how do you know who to trust? How do you know who you are or what to do? You don’t. You have no idea what’s happened to you. Anything could have. But the worst part is not knowing.
“When I first saw you, you felt familiar. I knew that I knew you from somewhere but I didn’t know from where. I didn’t know you, yet I knew I did. It’s hard to explain… and I was afraid. Should I trust you or not? How do I know you?”
I rested my forehead against hers, “You know me from me loving you. It was hell knowing you didn’t remember me. Thinking that all I’d done for you had gone to waste. But you should never give up on someone you love, right? I’m glad you came to the park the next day, or I would’ve taken myself out of this world… I’m glad you gave me the second chance I needed and I’m thankful for all this time we’ve spent together. I want to give you something. But, it’s in my jean pocket. At the park. When we go back, I’ll give it to you.”
Danielle nodded and curled up beside me on the bed, her head against my chest. Within minutes, she was sound asleep.

Danielle

“No, what are you doing, Jaclyn?”
“Just come with me, Danielle. This is for your own good.”
“Where are we going?” I still couldn’t stop crying. I’d been crying for a week straight. I’d done absolutely nothing but cry, eat a little, cry more, and fall asleep. I was surprised my eyes hadn’t dried up and fallen out by then.
Jaclyn grabbed me by the arm, her grip firm and tight, dragging me to the bathroom. She pulled me over to the tub.
“I’m sorry I have to do this, Danielle. He ruined you. I can’t stand to see you like this. I’ll make you forget him, I promise. It’ll be okay. You’ll be happy again.”
“What? Jaclyn, no!”
My face met the side of the tub. Again. Again. Again. My vision was tinted red, my head throbbing. The room was blurry and spinning.
Another slam. Another. Another. It felt like someone had taken a hammer to my face a thousand times. By the time she finished, I couldn’t feel anything. My vision was quickly fading to purple, then black. I couldn’t think. I was confused and distraught.
I slid to the floor as Jaclyn left the room, sniffling. I choked up a bit of blood, before giving into the comforting hands of death.

Chapter 12

Chapter 12
Chris

I handed her the folded, crinkled paper. She took it slowly, between her middle and index fingers. She looked down at the name, then back up at me.
I nodded and she carefully unfolded it, making sure not to rip or tear it. She read it to herself in a whisper. I had it memorized.
Dear Danielle,
I hope you can forgive me, but you probably won’t. I know I’ve done terrible things
and that I’ve caused this. But you have no idea how much I regret what has happened. I need you to know that I love you, and I promise I will return. I will make up for this. I don’t know when I will be back, but I will. I swear on my life. If you don’t forgive me, I don’t blame you. Because I know I never will either.
Love, Chris.

“I wrote this when I brought you back to Jaclyn’s.” Danielle nodded. Her eyes were watery again.
She said nothing. She just folded the paper up and stuck it in her jeans. Eventually she grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. A kiss more deep, more eager more passionate than ever before. Even before all the craziness.
I held her tight and close, things getting intense. Just like every other time, we both lost our breath. I couldn’t pull away. I wanted her. I needed her. My body burned for her.
She was mine. I pulled away just for a moment, to look around. Nobody was here. Thank God. I took Danielle by the hand and lead her to the back of the pavilion, where the two bathrooms were. I pulled her into the girls’ bathroom and we continued our make-out session there.
Now I know a girls’ bathroom in a pavilion at a damn park is nothing fancy nor romantic nor sanitary but it’s all you got when you’re homeless. And that is where I claimed her mine. Again. If you know what I mean, I don’t need to go into detail.

After so long, she was rightfully mine once more. There was no greater feeling than that. But I still had a promise to keep. Having to go back and tell that story, to have to re-live those memories and feelings again… is not something to look forward to.
At least after the ordeal was done, I wouldn’t be alone and things could go back to normal. How they were supposed to be.

How I would take Erick’s life was simple. There was no way I could fight him, he was way stronger than me. He was only 3 inches taller than me, but he seemed to tower over me.
I was glad to rid of him. Not as much as I was to rid Amber, but still glad. I always hated his blonde hair. A guy shouldn’t have blonde hair. It wasn’t right.
We were sitting on the couch, drinking bud light and watching football, like a couple of old friends. There were two problems with it; 1. I loathed Erick. 2. I hated sports. Especially football.
“Where’s my sister? Haven’t seen her since yesterday at dinner.”
“We stayed up late… you know… having a little fun. She’s still asleep.”
“You dog.” He laughed, “I didn’t need to know that but OK.”
After a few minutes, he said, “Dude, get me another beer.”
I nodded and headed into the kitchen, everything going just as planned. I snatched a beer can from the fridge and rummaged through the cabinet until I found the small jar I’d hidden in there just a few days ago.
I popped open the beer can and sprinkled just a bit of the white powder into it. I re-hid the jar and returned to Erick, handing him his death sentence.
He took a sip. Then he looked at me, “Why was it open?”
“I stole a drink.” I grinned.
“No wonder why it tastes funny. It has your germs in it.”
I gave him a fake little laugh. I really hated him. But soon he would be right where Amber was. And he suspected nothing.

And, as hoped, by nightfall, he was gagging and puking every 10 minutes it seemed. His skin was pale and he had a fever of 112 degrees.
He asked me to get him soup and a glass of water before he went to bed, and I did. And yes, I put more poison in both.
Morning came. I went straight to his room. Checked for a pulse. Nothing. I punched the air and jumped a couple times, grinning like an idiot. I drug his body to the bathroom quickly, repeating what I’d done to Amber. Watching his blood fill the bathtub made me feel so ecstatic. I had to put his remains in a separate pillow case, Amber’s was full.
Once I was finished cleaning up, I took Amber’s pillowcase out of the closet and looked at both. I laughed a little, “Well I’m sorry it has come to this, Amber and Erick, but I assure you this is for good reason. You took me away from my love, and that couldn’t go unpunished. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
I headed into the dark woods, pillowcases in hand. Eventually, I felt I was being watched and turned to catch two golden eyes glaring at me hungrily.

If I remembered correctly, the house had been on a hill. Luckily there was one dirt path from the main road leading to where the hill was a smooth walk up. And no, 10 miles is not that a long way to walk in the woods but neither of us had eaten in 2 days so Danielle and I filled her backpack with granola bars, gummy fruits, crackers and many, many water bottles before starting off.
“I remember you and everything about you now. But what about Jaclyn? When did I meet her?”
“You met her in middle school, you told me. By the end of middle, you guys were best friends. And all through high school it remained so. I never really liked her. Too controlling. Too bossy.”
“I know what you mean.” She sighed, “She made me feel like a stupid child the way she bossed me around and scolded me. What right does she have?”
“None.”
“The only thing I really remember of her, well before I lost my memory, is her bashing my head against the tub. I’d had a dream of it a couple nights ago. Now I can remember the pain, the blood… the betrayal…”
“I’m sorry she did that to you… I swear if I knew she would I wouldn’t have brought you there… I’d do anything to take my revenge on her for that!” The anger coursed through my veins, fueling the want to bash her head against a tub and see how she liked it.
Let’s face it, I’m a monster. A murderer. Ever since I killed Amber and Erick, I want to kill everyone I hate or dislike the least bit. Which was a scary thought.
“It’s okay, Chris. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was! Everything was… and you deserved none of it…”
“Everything happens for a reason, right? Some things are out of your control. You didn’t put a gun to anybody’s head and threaten them to do anything. So nothing is your fault.”
“You don’t understand. You don’t have to put a gun to someone’s head in order to make them do something. It’s all my fault. You’ll see.”
She said nothing in response. By then we’d reached the dirt road that lead into the stretch of woods, up the hill and to our hell. I wasn’t sure I was even close to ready to face it, but I had to. I had to show it to her. I had to tell her everything. I kept my promises.
At least, I keep the promises I make to Danielle.
“Keep close to me Danielle. If you hear something in the woods or see any weird eyes or anything, tell me. I know there are wolves here.
“Oh, great. Let’s head 10 miles in the creepy woods infested with wolves just to go up to the house where the people who tried to kill us live! Sounds like fun, let’s go!”
“Lived.” I corrected.

The rest of our 3 hour walk remained pretty quiet, enough time for me to think about what I was going to say. This was going to be difficult, but I made a promise. Halfway we stopped and ate what we packed and drank 3 bottles of water and were on our way again, the mid-afternoon sun burning down on us. Good thing I don’t get sunburned easily. Can’t say the same for Danielle.
“Chris… is that it?” She said, stealing me away from my thoughts.
Before us was a rather large house, 1 story. Dark chocolate brown roof. Very few windows. Pitch black inside. A shiver ran through me and I nodded.
Danielle looked around, “This place makes me feel… odd. Unwanted. Unsafe.”
“Don’t worry, you’re always safe with me. Now come on.”
We went up to the front door and I grabbed the door knob. Locked. They always had it locked. Wait, that’s right, I left through the back door. We trailed around to the back of the house, where I could’ve sworn I caught a face in the window. But when I looked up it wasn’t there. It must’ve been my mind playing tricks. I didn’t like this place the least bit.
Sure enough, the back door was open and I stepped inside. Danielle was reluctant, but followed. I felt around until I found the light switch and bright light flooded through the house.
Everything was just as I remembered it.
The cherry wood bookshelf. The black velvet couch. The T.V., the kitchen, the bathroom. I even looked in Erick’s bedroom. Then there I was, standing before Amber’s bedroom. Where I spent most of my captivity.
Danielle was laying on the couch, catching her breath and drinking from the last water bottle. I turned back to the door. Should I go in? Just to check things out?
“Chris.” A voice. Female. Hers.

It was all in my mind. I shook my head and placed my hand upon the handle.
“Just relax, Chris. I’ll make you feel amazing.”

The door swung upon before me. And there was the king-sized bed. Stained with my infidelity and sin. Even the handcuffs were still on the floor.
Then I heard sniffling. I turned back to Danielle, but she was fine. Fighting to keep her eyelids open.
There it was again. Went into the bathroom.
“What would you do without me, Chris?”
“Everything. I fucking hate you. Why don’t you understand?”
“But… Chris… I love… you…” and she’d started crying. But it was fake. It was all fake. A witch like her couldn’t feel pain.

Nothing. Back to the bedroom.
“Why can’t you just go back to the way you were when I met you? All fun, happy, seductive… wild.” She giggled a little, then sighed, “But now you’re all grouchy all the time and you’re no fun in bed.”
“I’m only fun if I like who I’m with.” Now it was my turn to chuckle.
“Then you must’ve really liked me… are you just being like this so you don’t piss off your precious Danielle? Even though all you did was complain about her that day. She’s not here, Chris. Get over it. You’ll never have to deal with the bitch again.”
“She’s not a bitch, Amber. You are.”

I slammed the bedroom door shut and Danielle jolted awake, “What the hell was that?!”
“Sorry, I slammed the door a little too hard. Memories coming back.”
“Oh… come here and take a nap with me?” She yawned.
I smiled and joined her on the couch.
“I did all this for you. Don’t pretend you didn’t love it. Don’t pretend you didn’t want it. Don’t pretend you don’t miss it. That you don’t miss me.”

Get out of my head.

Chapter 13

Chapter 13
Chris

“I promised you the truth. And the truth I’m giving to you right now.
“In the middle of 12th grade, you found a note in my jacket pocket. Unfortunately, you were right. I did cheat on you. But it was only a one-night stand. I felt horrible after it and I told her off. I vowed never to do it again. I had no idea she’d slid the note in there. Probably on purpose. I always had the guilt in the back of my mind. I promised I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to you, even though you didn’t know about it.
“Remember the house I told you about? The one I showed you? With the field and the trees? How I’d saved up for it and when I got home, you were gone? I’d found everything smashed. All my money had been stolen. That house was my anniversary present to you too, because that very day was indeed our anniversary, April 22nd. I had no idea where you were. I was so worried. I got lost in my worry, my shame, my guilt… I couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t until two days later I found amber’s note in your jacket pocket. How she found out where we lived, I will never know. I suspect that she may have followed me that day… or I don’t know.
“The note explained that… if I wanted you to survive, I’d come and find you both. Then I had to dump you and be with Amber. It also had the location of this house. I didn’t want to dump you. I loved you. But I had to. When I found you, you were in the basement. Naked, chained up, bleeding… raped… I wanted to kill Erick for that. I tried to free you. I thought that maybe we could get outta here.
“But they caught me. They beat me up, in front of you, until I was almost dead. Then Amber told me that either I dumped you then and there or she’d kill us both. So… I did. They took you to the woods and just left you there. I planned. I wrote that letter quickly and ran. I found you, but you were so close to death and I was scared. I felt so guilty. I wanted to die. Then they came. Erick held me and Amber put a knife to your throat.
“I thought she was going to kill you! I know she wanted to. Then she said that I’d dump you, and you’d let her live. So I had to. Again, ridiculously. She made me make out with her in front of you. It was all torture. I felt so worthless, so dirty, so stupid. She tried to take me away but I told her that I’d only be with her… if she assured your safety and that I could take you back to Jaclyn’s. She reluctantly agreed. She made Erick come with me and we brought you to Jaclyn’s. I left the letter with Jaclyn to give to you when you woke.”
Danielle just stared at me, taking in everything. After an intense moment she asked, “Then what? What happened next… to you?”
“Well for the first month, she kept me locked me in her bedroom. It was stupid. She forced me to… well love her. I don’t need to get into details. It was torment… I never felt so disgusting in my life.
“I put up with it for as long I could, gradually losing myself. I missed you. I needed you. But I thought you’d hate me and never want to see me again, so I stayed. For your sake. Hoping you had moved on and were happy. That you found someone better than me. And the thought of you with someone else tore me up. Which made me all the more guilty for cheating.
“I tried to force myself into loving Amber, but I couldn’t. My heart beats for you and only you. It was too much to bear that prison or that slut any longer. I had to get out. But I had to kill them, assure your safety and mine. So I bought handcuffs. And the next time Amber tried to make me…
“I… handcuffed her to the bedposts. Then I smothered her with a pillow. Chopped her body in the bathtub, put the pieces in a pillowcase. Then I poisoned Erick and chopped his body up. Once everything was cleaned up, I left. With the two pillowcases, I went into the woods. Eventually a wolf found me, following the scent of the blood.
“I poured the contents of the pillowcases out before the wolf. He had black fur and golden eyes. I thought he’d attack me and kill me, but he didn’t. Once finished eating, he ran off. So I ran too. The other direction. I had no idea where I was going. Nightfall came and I accidentally fell off that small cliff. God, it hurt like a bitch. But the thought of seeing you again… it kept me strong.
“I recovered and kept running. It took about two weeks of running in circles and eating oranges and berries before I found my way out. It took me two days to remember the way and make it to the park. That’s when I found you. You didn’t recognize me, I was broken. You know the rest.”
My gaze shifted to the floor, as a tear fell from my eyes. Danielle placed her hand upon mine, her face damp.
“And you think that is your fault? It’s not.”
“But it was! If I’d never slept with that girl, if I hadn’t gone to the store that day, she wouldn’t be jealous of you and decide to try and kill you for me! Do you not understand I almost got you killed?”
“Chris, we all make mistakes. We all make wrong decisions. We all do things we regret and that’s ok. That doesn’t make us guilty for what others decide to do because of our actions. Do you not understand that she was the psycho one that almost killed me? Not you.”
I looked up at her and shook my head, “But I’m the one who-“
“Shush.” She put a finger to my lips, “It’s not your fault.” She leaned in and pulled me into a tender kiss. Everything melted away and for that instant, there was only me and her and nothing else. In that moment I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, and I would never do anything to screw that up again.
I pulled away and stood, holding out my hand for her to take. She grabbed it and I gently pulled her to her feet.
“I want to see the basement.”
I turned to her, “You sure?”
She nodded, “Confirmation. To the dreams.”
“Well alright.” I lead her to the back of the house, to the room with the stairs leading down into the cold, dark basement.
I stepped inside first, feeling around for the chain to the overhead light. I eventually found it and light poured into the basement, revealing the chain on the floor that once held Danielle prisoner.
Only now did Danielle step inside, over to me. She looked around, her gaze lingering on the chain.
“Exactly how it is my dreams… except… there used to be water?”
I sighed, “Only for extra torment. It was winter so of course the water was freezing. They were cruel people, Danielle. Especially Amber. ”
She walked over to the chain on the ground, knelt down and felt it, “Its ice cold.”
It felt so wrong being here again. I half expected Amber and Erick to barge in.
“Well, look who it is, Erick. Get him!”
I’d tried to fight back, but he had me on the floor in an instant. I got back up and punch Erick in the face, but he punched me back, kicked me in the gut, pinned me down and held me his hands tight around my neck until I started fighting for breath.
“You think you can just save her and escape that easy? You think you can just waltz in here and be the hero and save the day?”
She’d slapped me and I spit at her.
“Hmmph. He needs a little more discipline, Erick.”
He kicked me in the stomach. Then the ribs. He pulled me back up to my knees by my hair and punched my face a few times, until my eyes were black and my lip was torn and swollen.
“Chris!” Danielle had screamed, sobbing from her imprisonment.
“Let’s get out of this damned place.”
“Okay…” Danielle said, following me up the stairs after pulling the chain to the light again.
The last thing we did before leaving, is search the kitchen for food. All we found was a moldy loaf of bread, spoiled milk, a can of peaches and a ‘family size’ box of fruit loops. We took the fruit loops, filled all 5 of our water bottles up with water from the tap, turned off all the lights and left. It did my heart and mind damn good to know I would never have to deal with this place, nor Amber or Erick ever again.

Danielle

The house was white. Car port. One big window in the living room. Vines had grown up the sides of the house and the grass was almost a foot tall.
I stepped inside. The smell of mold, lose and death hit my nostrils. I took a look around. I knew this place. Not with everything smashed, shattered or ruined like it was now, but I knew this place and I knew it well. And there was my blanket and Rex still waiting patiently for me on the couch.
“It’ll take time to fix it up, and get everything back to the way it used to be, but I’m optimistic about it. They might even give me my old job back at the computer repair, I mean… I always did 80% of the work.” Chris explained, trying to shed some light on this place.
I nodded, curling up on the couch. A calm feeling washed over me.
I had a home now. I had a purpose. I had a life, a past, a meaning. The best man I could ever ask for. I turned back to Chris and patted the spot next to me on the couch. He lay down beside me, resting his head on my shoulder, arm around my waist, and was asleep within minutes.

Epilogue

Epilogue
Jaclyn

Buzz.
Buzz.

What the hell was that noise?
Buzz.
Buzz.

Oh, right, my phone. It was on vibrate. On the dining table, I assumed.
Buzz.
Buzz.

I was far too tired to pick it up. If it was important, they’d leave a message.
Buuuuuuzz.

Silence.
…BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Yep, see. That meant there was a voicemail. I shut my eyes. 10 minutes later and I still couldn’t fall asleep. Trying was wasting my time. Might as well listen to the voicemail.
Stood up. Walked over to the dining table. Picked up the cellphone. Dialed my own number. Dialed the pass code.
“Call me. Immediately.”
I sighed. Pressed ‘Call Back.’
Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

“Hello?”
“You wanted me to call you?”
“Ah, right. As you know, 4 months ago, my sister and brother went missing. I suspect your little friend has something to do with that. Where is the girl?”
I gulped, “He took her. 3 months ago. If they’ve been missing, why are you just calling now?”
“If he took her, why are you only informing me of this now?”
“Because I thought maybe you let him go!” I was almost yelling.
She sighed, “Never mind that. He killed my brother and sister. I can’t let him get away with this. I’m on my way with an old friend. And YOU are helping us find him and finish this, whether you like it or not.”
“Why me? And what about Danielle?”
“Because you were the one who carelessly let her go when I specifically told you not to let him get to her. I told you to keep her there with you and make certain she didn’t remember anything. Especially not him. She probably knows everything by now. Go ahead and kill her too.”
“Fine. Amber, does he have any idea that was your twin he killed and not you?”
She laughed menacingly.
“Not a clue.”

Impressum

Bildmaterialien: Would like to thank http://www.wattpad.com/user/Nativemoon for the amazing cover!
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.02.2012

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