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~ * Preface * ~

Hello and welcome to this collection of several different adventures with you – the reader – as the protagonist!

Every single story in this book once started as a fan-fiction one-shot written by me. But currently I made the decision to change some of them into original stories.

Frankly, I had a very hard time choosing which of my stories would be suited best for a rewrite. The quantity, the different themes, the lengths, how much or little I liked them; all this made the choice exceedingly difficult. More than once I replaced already finished rewritten texts with others, added new ones to the list and in turn removed others.

Well, given that you are reading this preface, it obviously means that I completed this ‚seemingly impossible task‘ and you are about to read the results of those rewrites.

This book contains a colourful collection through different genres and styles, so be prepared for a roller-coaster full of emotions, experiences, and point of views. Additionally, in most stories your gender will not be specified, but there still will be some, where it will be set due to how the plot is built.

Some of the stories included were inspired by songs I like – and which will be pointed out with the caption „Inspired by: artist – song title“, so you can listen to them, if you want to.

And, as a little warning in advance: Be aware that some stories will contain sensitive and/or adult topics, as well as ambiguities that could be misunderstood. For the latter, I would like to emphasize that they were intentionally used as encountered.

Well, I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer. After all, a plethora of different adventures await you on the next few pages.

There’s just one thing I would like to ask of you before you dive into these wondrous worlds: please be so kind as to leave me a review about whether/how you liked the book.

~ * Invisible life * ~

Life rushes forwards, regardless if you wish for it to slow down or not. It doesn’t care about wishes or hopes, it only follows its own path. Birth, life, death, day and night, sunshine, rain, the circle continues without bothering about anything else.

It provides a place to live, regardless if it’s for animals, plants or humans, and the inhabitants of those provided places live their own life’s. They rush along their own paths, laughing or crying, are successful or broken, it doesn’t matter. At least not to life itself – or to those who seem to be outside of the usual picture.

Those who are failed to be noticed by others, those who live their life’s as some sort of a shadow. Or of a ghost. Maybe they are such things? They don’t know, nobody would tell them, simply because… well, these others don’t see them, right? So they let themselves get carried along the crowds, they follow them, live among them but still feel like they’re not existing at all.

It's sad, isn’t it? Sad but true. And unfortunately it’s my own ‚life’. I’m one of those shadows or ghosts, however you want to call these unfortunate beings. I’m here but I’m obviously not since nobody ever seems to care about my existence. No matter at which place I am. I walk among them, but all I ever received were shoves and pushes, never an apology for when I was knocked over.

But it has its perks. Without them acknowledging me I can watch everybody without getting reprimanded for it. I know a lot about the people around me, probably more than they know of themselves.

My currently favourite person to observe is a tanned young man with light brown hair and soft eyes. How he interacts with the other people around him.

How he treats the other young man, a small blonde one, who’s his constant companion. How he avoids to eat whatever his sandy-haired friend tried to cook. How he emits calmness.

How he could be such a radiant being…

No, I didn’t follow him around, I had my own things to tend toward. It didn’t matter if it’s in town or at the university, whenever he crossed my path I let my eyes follow him until he left my field of view again.

He is a nice guy, I guess, but he never noticed me – like all the others. I didn’t mind though, it’s nothing new to me after all. So I continue to sit on my spot on the university-grounds and mind my own business until it’s time for the next classes. Another thing… I must attend them, but I’m not even sure if the professors notice me at all. They grade my works simply because I hand them in, but letting me answer questions? Not even one since my arrival…

Honestly, I don’t even care anymore.

The days change, everything else doesn’t. Wake up, get ready, walk to classes, attend them until lunchtime, then I'll sit at my spot and observe the other students. Or to be more specific: observing the tanned young man sitting around with the smaller blonde one, the sandy-haired one, and their fourth friend, another blonde young man, all of them enjoying the good weather.

To see them laughing together coaxed a tiny smile to appear on my own lips. Let alone this motion was something surprisingly new but there was something else… Something that usually didn’t occurred.

It took me quite some time to understand what was out of place. And it would be an understatement to say that it shocked me. The man I enjoyed watching looked at me. Or at least I thought he was doing it. That never happened! Nobody ever even glanced at my direction let alone would look straight at me.

The loud ring of the bell shook me out of my thoughts. No, he hadn’t looked at me, he was busy with talking to his friends and collecting his things before he would head to his next class – the same thing I should do if I didn’t want to be late. Not that it would have bothered anybody…

Hurriedly I gathered up my belongings and rushed to my next class. I didn’t even look back, there was no need for doing such a foolish thing, so I missed that he indeed was looking yet again at the spot where I had been sitting before only to find it empty.

More days passed by, all a close to near repetition of the days before. If it hadn’t been for small differences in the weather they would have been the same. Albeit… that wasn’t quite right. There were more little changes to my usual routine than only the amount of sunshine or rain.

At the beginning I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was different. Everything seemed like per usual but at the same time slightly off. Until I caught him reciprocating my looking at him again. It was only a short shared look before I was hidden by a crowd of students passing by, which I took advantage off to get away unseen.

A coincidence, nothing more, nothing less. Imagination. Nobody would ever look at me, not even by accident.

But the times I caught him looking at me increased and I grew worried. How was that even possible? I didn’t exist, did I? How was he able to look at me? And why would he?

I felt uncomfortable despite the softness in his eyes and when he smiled at me for the first time I ran away panic-stricken. I didn’t see him chuckle lowly about the shocked expression on my own face…

After this incident I avoided to sit at my usual spot on the grounds. My mind was playing tricks on me and I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself by getting my hopes up. How embarrassing it would be if I would try to approach, let alone even try to talk to him!

I shook my head with determination. No, that would never happen! Instead of making a fool out of myself I took the easier way: I adjusted my own routines and banished him out of my mind.

When winter came around, everything was back to my version of ‚normal’. I hadn’t seen him or his friends for quite some time and nobody seemed to have noticed me, like per usual. In the meantime I was completely convinced that my eyes had only played a trick on me and I mutely laughed at my own dumbness.

Had I really believed that there would ever be anybody who would notice me? And especially somebody like him of all people? Pathetic! „You seem to enjoy yourself. Would you tell me what brightened up your mood?“

„I’m amused over my own stupidity. Not long ago I really thought that somebody noticed me. A real human being, a man, on top of that! Can you imagine that?“ Let alone speaking about this absurdity of my own mind made me chuckle again and shake my head. Me and my vivid imagination!

„A man, you say?“ This second question caused me to nod and elicited a short laugh from me.

„Hilarious, right? Why should anybody spare a glance at me when nobody ever has done such a thing? Nobody can tell me that you can be noticed suddenly without having anything done. Not when you’re invisible to the world.“ Still chuckling I shared my thoughts with whoever was talking to me.

It was just too absurd for... Wait a minute… Nobody ever asked me anything or let alone talked to me at all! Oh dear…

Slowly I turned around and found myself face-to-face with the smiling tanned man, earning himself a flabbergasted look of mine. How was this even possible? That wasn’t right!

„Did he maybe look like me?“ He even had the audacity to point at his own face, still smiling while he did so. He clearly took me by surprise!

„I should forgo caffeine and sugar for while… And avoid daylight… I’m imagining stuff again.“ I told myself and pinched the bridge of my nose. I clearly was going nuts – again.

There was no chance that he stood in front of me, talked to me and heck, even smiled at me. My behaviour and denial seemed to amuse him hence why he let out a chuckle of his own.

„Nuh-uh, no chance. That’s highly impossible, you know? I-I mean…“ My words got caught in my throat when he gently took my hand and shook it. I could feel the fabric of his gloves, the warmth of his hand seeping through it.

„It’s adorable how you try to think of me as an imagination but I’m real, you know? My name is Sonny.“ He introduced himself, still smiling at me. „And you’re not invisible, because…“

For a second he paused, his smile growing even wider and softer.

„I can see you.“

~ * Guardian Angel * ~

Sometimes one small thing is all it needs to change your entire life into literal hell. It doesn’t matter if it’s a word, a gesture or something else – if the wrong person catches it they use it against you. One person is enough to start the torture that you would call your ‚new' life.

When they go at you physically, you have a slightly better chance to receive help at some point. At least when someone sees your wounds and bruises.

But when they get at you mentally, your chances are downright low. Yes, you can cry for help, mutely or audibly, but how are they supposed to understand when they never had experienced the same as you?

Either way you keep scars on you. And it’s you who must deal with it for the rest of your life.

In my case it had been a slip-up at elementary school that had started my suffering. Nicknames, getting laughed at, getting excluded from playing… For a young child this can already be torture. But with the years passing by the behaviour of my ‚friends' grew up into meanness towards me.

Teenagers aren’t less cruel than the younger ones. They only use other ways…

Believe me when I say that I tried hard to get help.
I told my family – they shrugged and ignored it, thinking it was my own fault.
I told my teachers – their invitations to talks made it only worse for me than it already was.
I told my doctor when I fell ill enough to ‚need’ a check-up – he prescribed me something against internal unrest… I was allergic against the herbal stuff.

When I couldn't find any external help I tried to deal with everything by myself. It was a long and hard way until I managed to let them believe I didn’t care at all. I would smile at them, I would act happy-go-lucky, I didn't react when they tried to trigger me. At least in public. Everything was only on the outside.

When I was back in my room at home I would collapse on a daily base. Every day I crumbled a little bit more and fought against myself. My fears, my thoughts, my mind in general.

It took even longer to convince my own mind that everything was fine and dandy, that it could banish everything to its darkest corner and lock it up there for the time being.

Nevertheless I still held my distance to others. Sure, when I started my ‚act’ I found friends again, but I didn’t let myself become emotionally attached to them.

When I move far away from my home town I took my chance to be who I wanted to be. Myself. Without old burdens. Without the need to keep up my happy act anymore. I wanted to show real joy, real excitement, gather real experiences, everything I had been deprived by my past.

None of these new people around me knew of my past and that’s the way I kept it. I didn’t tell them anything of this dark part of my life, I didn’t show them whenever I suffered a relapse or had a panic attack. I had them regularly, it was nothing new to me and I knew how to deal with those moments.

But these people weren’t dumb like the people back at home. They weren’t as easy to fool, they knew something was off. But where new-found friends offered me their comfort disguised as quality time, others weren’t as thoughtful as they were. These others loved to exploit what exactly was off.

Snarky remarks, threatening teases, they were relatively creative in their ways of tormenting me. And if it hadn’t been for my friends being at my side they would have acted way earlier than they did.

But today I was on my own, unfortunately might I add, so that they took their chance and cornered me when I was heading for the exit after the movie I had watched was over.

I only wanted to go home but they had other plans when they stepped in my way and drew closer to me until I was backed up against the wall of the cinema auditorium.

„Look what we’ve got here.“ One of them snarled and elicited malicious sniggers of his friends.

„A little toy completely lost. Awww… poor baby.“ Another one of them piped in.

I knew none of them personally, but there was a chance that we had to have seen each other at least once already. However, I already knew that this would end badly for me. Not because they would turn physically violent – I was aware of this being possible too – but because they spoke in the same way as my old tormentors had done.

They didn’t even give me the chance to speak up. Instead they continued their assault with yet another set of malicious words. „Look, it’s about to cry! Poor ditched plaything…“

The longer they spoke, the blurrier my vision grew. No, not now!

„I bet they’re secretly laughing their asses off about this weak little fool.“

Why couldn’t they stop already? Why did they have to go on?

„Maybe they’re getting something in return, huh? Bet you’re showering them with pathetic thanks and ridicoulus gifts like some little kid, aren’t you?“

A small whimper escaped my throat and made them laugh loudly. I knew they didn’t know that they were hitting a sore point of my past, that they had propelled me mentally back to a time I hadn’t been able to be ‚stronger’.

„Come on little baby, squeak for your watchdogs to safe you! Squeak for their help!“

„HEY! Stop that immediately!“

The sudden cry caused my tormentors to back away and to look around for who dared to disturb them. They found the culprit rather quickly, given that the man, who had called them out, was approaching our spot.

They clearly were tempted to stay and torment and humiliate him as well – but he seemed to do something that made them rethink their idea and seek salvation in flight.

You can’t imagine my relief when Sebastian, one of my closest friends, reached my side, angrily shook his fist after the fleeing idiots and finally turned towards me. „I told you to watch out for these pea-brains! They’re never up to anything good! Don’t let them… Hey?!“

No, I hadn’t caught him in an embrace like I usually did whenever we met. I hadn’t even contradicted him like all the other times when he had rambled about why certain guys were bad news.

Instead Sebastian simply had directed his eyes to my face and had noticed my devastated state.

He knew better than to stay out in public while I was in such a condition with the chance of those bullies still lurking around. So my friend did the only thing he could think of about how to save me from another attack: he took my hand and smiled widely and reassuringly at me. „Let’s get out of here.“

Since it was Sebastian, who had found and saved me, and even had seen me like this, I didn’t care about pulling myself together again for anybody’s sake. He was an adorable sweetheart and anyway overly protective when it came down to me.

Whereas most of the others made fun over his ‚barking’ and ‚ruffling up himself’ I deemed it rather adorable that he was so passionate about people and things which he held dear.

I was grateful that he considered me to be one of those people important to him, and even more so right now.

Hence why I willingly followed him to wherever he pulled me towards too while I tried to dry my face with the sleeve of my jacket. It wouldn’t bring me any good if anybody I knew would see me crying – simply because neither did they know anything about my past nor did I want to be forced by them to elaborate my current state.

So you can imagine my surprise when Sebastian and I were greeted by his brothers. Both seemed rather surprised to see me at their home, let alone to see me get dragged away by their determined brother who still held my hand.

Soon I found myself seated on the settee of the living room, got a mug of steaming tea shoved into my hands and a plate with cookies as comfort food placed in front of my nose. Slight bewilderment shone in my eyes when Sebastian flopped himself onto the seat next to me and started to search for any injuries those bullies could have left on me.

„What are you doing?“ Cautiously I glanced at him, but the temptation of the cookies was a tad stronger than my curiosity about why he was examining me.

„Checking to see if they hurt you!“ was his stern answer but he softened his tone when he noticed that I restrained myself from having a taste of the cookies. „Dig in! They are for you. I-I made them.“

I only gave a curt nod as answer before I let him continue his check-up of my health and nibbled on one of the cookies. Delicious! And so comforting. When he found no injuries on me, he gave off a sigh of relief and seated himself appropriately.

Usually he would chatter away nonstop but now he only sat there quietly and watched me eating the sweet treats and drinking the hot tea slowly. One needn’t be a rocket scientist to see that he wanted to know what exactly had happened before he had stepped in.

His worry radiating from him was tell-tale enough for me to set down the mug and offer him a small smile.

„Thank you for your help, Sebastian. For all of it. If it hadn’t been for you to…“

For a short moment a frown showed itself on his face before he fiercely shook his head and stared at me with his usual determined expression.

„I-It doesn’t matter! What matters is that you feel better again. And I’ll make sure of that!“ He wanted to help me feel better again? That was more than anybody else had ever done for me. „I’ll make sure that they never hurt you again!“

But it wasn’t until he suddenly moved and hugged me as tightly as he dared to do that I couldn’t resist any longer to crack a small smile at him despite everything that had happened. Neither did he force me into spilling the beans nor did he act like everything was alright.

Instead he did his best to fulfil his promise to make me feel better again with tons of hugs, cookies, and gallons of hot chocolate.

The latter at least as soon as I felt ‚good’ enough for it.

He made sure to tell me lots of stories from when he and his brothers had been younger, how his newest recipes had worked out, how he once had caught his dad sneaking into the kitchen late at night because he had grown addicted to Sebastian’s cakes and pastries, and so on and so forth until my smile turned into a genuine one once again.

Again and again did he vow to me that he would make sure that these imbeciles never would dare to threaten or bully me again. Nobody at all when he already was at it.

How I wished I could believe him, that he would keep me save forever but I knew better.

He could only stick to his word as long as we were together. But at some point, we would probably part ways and each of us – not only him and me – would go towards a different future. Family, friends, job, travelling...

And then I would be alone in this again. I would have to keep up my acting of being strong and happy. I would have to struggle with relapses and panic attacks alone.

On the other hand… there was still some more time left before this would happen, so… why shouldn’t I enjoy the close friendship with my friend who beamed at me in joy?

And that's what I intended to do until it would be time to say goodbye.

~ * Time's on our side * ~

Oliver rarely thought about finding love and clearly didn’t believe in the thought of love at first sight.

He was content with his work as a personal assistant and with filling his unarguably small free time with his hobbies. He was busy enough if you wanted to call it that way.

But there where such rare occasions when he indeed did think about it. Well... At least after he had accidentally stumbled over glimpses of his own future.

Not that he himself was capable of seeing the future, mind you, and he never had believed that fortune teller really held the power they claimed they had. Most of them just scammed people – in his opinion.

Yet when he had been fooling around with some of his friends, they had dragged him along to one of these for fun.

His first glimpse – if you wanted to call the fortune teller’s overly dramatic show of shoving her crystal ball into his face this way – had been of two children, a boy and a girl, both almost grown up, partly looking like him, who had run up to his boss, laughing in joy and calling him „Uncle Dion!“ as far as he had been able to understand them.

Oliver didn’t know how far in the future this scene was set, but it shocked him immensely that he would have some offspring of his own.

But unfortunately, the fortune teller lady couldn’t tell him anything about the mother of his future children…

The next time he found himself at the fortune teller’s table was only weeks later and on his own accord.

Oliver still didn’t believe she really was blessed with the gift of seeing the future, yet he just wanted to know more!

This time when she shoved the crystal ball right into his face, she told him about a birthday party of his little cousins. The whole family was gathered together along with his boss while his offspring – this time visibly younger – sang ‚Happy Birthday‘ for his cousins.

When the doors flung open, Oliver hoped to catch a glimpse at the mother in question. But again he had no luck. An enormous cake was brought into the room, successfully hiding away what he thought would be his future significant other.

And unfortunately for him, the crystal ball went blank when she was about to step around her sugary hiding spot.

Had he already been irritated after the first incident, the second one made his distraction more obvious than before.

The usually calm man spilled drinks or forgot that he had appointments, little things which pilled themselves up.

Neither his boss nor his colleagues, friends and family missed Oliver’s increasing mistakes but none of them could think about a reason for why this happened. Maybe he was only overworked and needed some rest? That would surely help him to regain his usual composure.

And they could clearly tell that he was grateful for this opportunity.

After his little break Oliver was back to normal. His mind was clear again, he was right back on his tasks, his slip-ups had vanished into thin air and everything went as smooth as ever. He didn’t even think about those two glimpses anymore, simply because... Well, he simply didn’t think about it for quite some time.

Maybe he had only imagined everything? It was a possibility, wasn’t it? After all, these false fortune tellers were known to pull some weird tricks on their unsuspicious victims.

But when he had almost convinced himself that what he had seen only had happened in his head and wanted to call the woman out on her scam, he was thrown into the third glimpse of his own future. And this time he was sure he would never be able to forget what he saw.

Instead of seeing his children again, the ball shoved into his face made him catch a glimpse of… well, of how he and his future significant other were receiving them. At least he partly saw it.

His future-self trailed kisses along a female body and whispered soft praises while she arched her back and pulled softly on his hair. She called his name in such a loving tone that shivers ran along his spine and he was almost desperate to answer her when he got pulled back into reality.

The crystal ball had yet again turned blank and he was left behind with a somewhat desperate expression on his face.

No! He hadn’t even seen her face! He wanted to bring the images back, he wanted to see her, know her name, he was desperate for more information but it was to no avail.

All his pleading and begging didn’t help him: the crystal ball remained blank and refused to succumb to its wielder‘s powers.

After this Oliver suffered from a broken heart.

He had tried to go back whenever he had some minutes to spare but the fortune teller’s powers refused him. For the first time in his life he didn’t know what he should do.

Was this something good? How could it be? Did the ball’s refusal mean that he would meet her soon? But when? And where?

It had helped that his boss Dion had talked to him, a very long conversation between the two men, but even he couldn’t do much more as offer his friend some comfort and understanding. Without any knowledge about her looks or her name even his hands were tied into inactivity.

Time flew by and at some point Oliver decided to return for one last time to the fortune teller. Maybe now this stubborn thing would show some mercy on him and would show him what he craved?

Apparently, he was lucky enough this time. Her powers worked on him again, albeit not fully.

He was still denied to see what he silently was pleading for, but at least he was capable of seeing some other small things in this damned thing! Being deprived of answers for his heart’s desire still wasn’t something he liked.

But at least the lady could tell him that the new project his boss was planning would take a lot larger group of helping hands as expected.

It was a beginning, wasn’t it?

The mentioned project was about to start in short and three out of four external qualified workers, who would help them, already had arrived the previous day. The last one had yet to arrive.

The team already was gathered at the meeting room, the door was left open for them to easily access the room, and there were only mere seconds left until the arrival of them.

Oliver felt anxious about this arrival. He didn’t know why but his heart was beating faster than it should and his breathing was slightly uneven. He even felt the palms of his hands becoming sweaty. But why? It was only a new, albeit temporary, team-member, a woman as far as he could see when he glanced at his notes. Nothing out of the ordinary.

So... What was so special about this woman, who lifted her head and looked around in slight irritation after she had marched into the room with determination?

When her eyes meet his, Oliver lost himself in those beautiful pools of colour. His heartbeat and breathing accelerated even further, he could feel shivers run along his spine while his mouth fell slightly open.

He felt drawn to this woman which resembled the epitome of everything to him. And he knew for sure that she was meant to be his significant other when she smiled at him and said his name in this lovely voice of hers.

~~~

My arrival at the meeting room had been slightly irritating to say the least. Not only because of how casual everybody behaved themselves or the bunch of already gathered people which greeted me but mostly because of the man second to furthers away from me who had caught my eye right on the spot.

Despite my irritation I could feel myself smiling at him before my attention was torn back towards the other people present. They introduced themselves and when Eric, one of the intern workers, tried to ask me out immediately, a warning growl became audible, causing the flirtatious guy to back away hurriedly.

The same warning growl sounded when another one of the bunch, Marleen as she was introduced to me, acted rather harshly towards me. It was enough to elicit a shriek of horror from her and made her wave her hands apologetically.

The culprit was found rather quickly due to some pairs of eyes already glancing at the grumpy looking man, Oliver, who seemed displeased with his co-workers.

But it didn’t stay by those two ‚incidents’. Be it at work or on random occasions, whenever Oliver and I saw each other he would growl whenever somebody didn’t behave themselves properly towards me.

At some point he even went so far to squeeze himself between the overly cuddly Eric and me, clearly claiming his territory as it seemed. At least his behaviour made the flirtatious pain in the neck squeal in delight before he ran off to… I honestly didn’t know where he was going to.

But I didn’t complain about either of it. It was rather quite the opposite. I enjoyed Oliver’s company, I enjoyed the way he acted overly protective around me and how attentive he was towards me.

I felt drawn to him; that clearly was a bigger thing than a ridiculous schoolgirl‘s crush.

So when he asked me out for a first date I gladly accepted.

It wasn’t something overly fancy but the most romantic little picnic you could imagine. He had packed up a basket with most of our favourite snacks to share with each other and had brought me to a wonderful little spot of green where we stayed until nightfall settled in.

And when he walked me back home, he even became a little bold and took my hand. You can imagine Linda’s – she was like me one of the external workers – slightly confused face when she opened the door and found us on the doorstep, both deeply blushing and avoiding eye contact with each other.

More romantic dates followed this first one. Be it that we went on small walks or ate some ice cream, I was content with everything if Oliver was at my side.

He took it slow, holding my hand was for a while the farthest he would go, until he decided it would be appropriate to intertwine our fingers and place chaste goodnight kisses on my cheek when he handed me back into Linda’s care at the evenings.

When Dion announced a big party at the company, I was more than thrilled to attend it! And as one could imagine: I wasn’t the only one happy about this little gathering, as my temporary boss had called it.

The only thing that bothered Oliver was that Dion’s big party included a sleep-over at the company and that I should share a room with Eric and Linda – and she definitely wasn’t a problem for him.

To prevent anything inappropriate from happening to me, Oliver kept a close eye on me and when we had settled in and were on our way towards the designated dinning area, he stole me away from our group. My quiet giggles echoed along the halls while he dragged me further away from the others until we finally reached a rather secluded spot.

„Are you jealous, Oliver?“ I couldn’t resist to ask while he led me to the furthest corner of the room and sat himself on the ground, softly pulling me on top of his lap.

It wasn't for the first time, mind you, but this time it felt differently. It was already dark outside – we never had been out together at such a late time! – and we were utterly alone.

„What if I were?“ His sudden answer in the otherwise peaceful silence made me look at him, causing our noses to brush softly against each other. No, we never had been so close to each other before, but it wasn’t unpleasant. More of the opposite.

„Then I would tell you that you don’t need to worry.“ I kept my voice low while I looked into his eyes, faintly noticing the slight blush which showed itself on his cheeks, matching my own perfectly.

„And why shouldn't I worry, darling?“ He lowered his voice as well and leaned his forehead against mine, curiously waiting for my reply.

„Because I love only you, silly.“ My words hung between us for a short moment. I had gotten ahead of him with confessing and he clearly needed a moment to understand fully what I just had told him. But when he finally understood a radiant smile stole itself on his face.

His voice was barely audible, his whispered words a soft caress on my skin „I love you, too.“

No more words were spoken after we had overcome the last few inches of space between us and experienced our very first true kiss.

Gentle touches and soft caresses, the sweet taste of tea and little snacks dominated our kiss while we held each other in a loving embrace – you clearly couldn’t ask for more at this very moment.

We parted only for short moments, those soft and loving kisses were way too addicting and we were unable to resist.

With every new touch, with every soft sigh I could feel him holding himself back as not to hurt me but at the same moment he seemed to wish for so much more.

But there was no need to hurry, we had more than enough time on our side to celebrate every single step of our new found relationship appropriately. And if there was anyone who knew most about it, it was him.

There would be the perfect moment for this next step, he knew it, he had stumbled over it by accident, but… that moment was not now and here.

He was content with how it was, as was I.

~ * Siblings comfort * ~

Maybe things would have turned out a different way if I hadn’t secluded myself for so long.

Maybe I could have stopped them from getting lost in the depths of the dark surrounding us if I hadn’t gotten lost in my own grief which had turned me into a shadow of my own.

Maybe I should have kept a hold on myself and should have continued to guide my siblings and friends...

Yet, I had done none of those things.

After we barely had escaped our master’s wrath everything had taken a turn for the worst. Yet it needed me being witness to the horrible deed my younger brother Berryn had done, that I stepped back and had allowed my grief to take control over my body, soul, and mind.

For years to follow I had rarely left the rooms announced to be my personal part in our new home which my brother had found for us. Holed up in there, I hadn’t fought grief and self-hatred, I had allowed these emotions to control my life without resistance while I had watched over what was left of my siblings and friends with dull eyes.

How they had grown into their roles as part of our new-founded ‚family‘.

How their assigned tasks and ranks had consumed and contorted them until those once bright and lovely souls had turned into devotees to utter destruction and madness...

Only in a peripheral way had I noticed the same change in myself, but whereas they roamed around freely and tried to enjoy their new lives, I kept myself locked away, thinking that I didn’t deserve to join them after my failure.

And oh how badly I had failed them! I could have stopped my friend Liann from breaking our master’s rules, I could have stopped Berryn from rebelling against our master, born from his death-sentence for our beloved friend... Yet, I hadn’t done any of that.

I had stood by, silent, cowardly. And now I had to pay the prize for my cowardice.

Berryn had been forced to take my place and somehow tried to keep what was left of our chaotic bunch in check. But he was not me and therefore he only could do as much... And the outcomes of his struggles were visible: They did as they pleased.

On those rare occasions when I left the solitude of my rooms, I bore witness to how badly things had turned out to be.

How far apart they had become.... No comparison to before. And how shocked they always appeared to be whenever I showed myself. Almost as if they had forgotten about me being alive...

How they wallowed in their new ways of life... It almost was disgusting to witness how the once so lovely and caring Asyna had turned self-centred and preferred to waste her time with jumping from one bed to the other. At least if she wasn’t busy with admiring herself in a mirror, surrounded by whichever poor souls had been unfortunate enough to find themselves in her bear hug.

How Gallyn holed himself up in his room, shutting himself away from the world and wasting his talents with... Honestly, I didn’t even know with what he nowadays busied himself with...

I couldn’t say much about our newest friend, Phylten. I knew he had become friends with Berryn at one point or another, but other than that? Despite him living at this hellhole even before we had found refuge here, he seemed surprisingly nice. For an outcast like us, of course, and when he wasn’t torturing his surroundings with various forms of his so-called music....

I rarely looked at the youngest of our group, I simply couldn’t. Whenever I did I felt guilty all over again. And ashamed that they had to endure this fate because of me not stepping in.

Those often were the moments when I returned to my rooms in defeat and shame...

And then there was Xavon. The actually good hearted scatterbrain... But everybody seemed to have forgotten about this.

Everybody except for me. I still remembered how he had been before all of this had happened. And to see all this forgotten was painful. Seeing how they blamed him for everything, how they insulted him on a daily base... How they closed their eyes to the fact that he was not the only one caught in the mire of this dark abyss we called our new life.

Of course, it was easier to blame him for everything. After all, he had turned into his complete opposite. Just like they had... But that was by no means an excuse for their behaviour!

With more timing passing by my grief and self-hatred were joined by disappointment and slight anger towards my so-called family. How could they do this to each other? What had become of the once so wholeheartedly promised „We are all siblings! One big family! No exceptions!“?

But that didn’t mean that I left my rooms more often. At least not to their knowledge. I held no need for interacting with them, not as long as they bullied one of their own like this!

So, instead of joining them during their daily lives, I chose the nights to at least make some apology for my failures. Once my presence and touch had brought comfort, now I could only hope that it still did. And with this hope in mind I had started to visit my suffering brother while he was sleeping.

At first I hadn’t dared to approach him fully, out of fear that he would wake up and would attack me. Instead I had only slipped into his room and had remained at the door, silently hoping that my presence would suffice to offer him some comfort.

But over time I had started to sneak closer to his sleeping form, my heart breaking when I finally was close enough to see the dried tears on his cheeks. But still, I hadn’t dared to touch him to remove these signs of his pain.

Would it have been this way if I hadn’t let them down all those years ago? Maybe... But for me there was no way to know or to change anything that had happened.

All I could do was offer those little moments of comfort to Xavon before I retreated back into my own rooms to torture myself all over again.

This vicious circle kept itself upright for a while. At least until one fateful day when they finally went too far. I could not say with certainty what it was that made me rush out of my rooms and down the halls, but whatever it was, it felt urgent and it led me right into the dinning room.

The sight that greeted me as I burst through the large door fuelled both my disappointment and my anger. Xavon had collapsed in a heap on the ground and was crying in despair while none of the others lifted a finger to help him.

Before one of them could even mutter my name I already had rushed towards the broken man, had lowered myself next to him on the floor and had cradled his head against my chest.

Liann once had been the one to hum soft and soothing tunes to us whenever we had needed them, but with her being gone it now was my turn to offer this kind of comfort, too. The melody sounded strange because I rarely had used my voice, but the familiar notes still helped the sobbing mess in my arms a bit.

„Y-Y/N?“ It wasn’t Xavon’s voice that called my name in surprise, but that wasn’t important right now. Not for me, that is, but for them it seemed to be, given that my still crying brother suddenly threw his arms around my upper body and pressed himself even closer against me.

„Y/N? It’s really you? W-Why...?“ No, right now wasn’t the right time to deal with them. Not while the more murderous part of myself wanted to rip off their heads for having hurt one of our own.

„Leave. Now.“ Berryn knew better than to try to contradict my hissed command.

There had only been few moments when he had tried to approach me, seeking advice from me, and every time my reaction had been the same. I had talked to him in the very same tone I was using now and when he hadn’t listened to me fast enough I had summoned whatever new power this cursed place had ‚blessed‘ me with and had destroyed whatever had been within my reach.

And right now I already was crackling with energy, so he was left with no other choice than to remove everybody from the dinning room.

I ignored their retreating forms and forced myself to concentrate on Xavon.

It was easy to let loose when the door clicked shut and to wrap my deformed self around him, shielding him away from the cruel world surrounding us. He had never seen me like this before. Neither of them had...

And him noticing the leathery skin and the unfamiliar touch of a tail wrapping itself around him like another arm was enough to increase his wails yet again.

There was no need for words right now. Instead I simply held him close to me and allowed him to bask in the warm comfort only I had ever been able to give to them whenever they had felt down.

Only when his loud sobs had quieted down into soft sniffles and I could feel him glance up at my face with watery eyes did I dare to break the silence.

„It‘s my fault that you have to endure all of this... And I know that a simple sorry isn’t even remotely enough to expect your forgiveness...“ A sad smile tugged at my lips when my still sniffling brother wanted to contradict my words in his nowadays typical boisterous way, but I didn’t let him. „No, Xavon, I’m serious. I was the one refusing to come to terms with our new lives, not you. I was the one not stepping in when you all needed me the most. I was the coward who choose the solitude of my rooms over my families welfare. I am the person responsible for everything that has happened. But I promise that I’ll make it up to you. To all of you.“

My instincts called for me to take revenge on those who had caused my beloved brother so much pain, yet another part of me reminded me of them being close to me, too.

Should this be what I had been destined for?

What I was supposed to embody here at this hellhole?

To act as an embodiment of vengeance?

But Xavon tore me out of my musings when he let out yet another sob and pressed his face back against my chest. Almost like he had sensed what had plagued my mind and now felt guilty for it because of him acting weak...

„You know... I haven’t left this house ever since we moved in, so... How about you show me around? There must be some sort of... town somewhere here? We could... I don’t know... maybe look around, grab something to eat and enjoy some ice cream afterwards? My treat?“

My offer elicited a short-lived laugh to escape his throat before I could feel him nod softly.

„S-Sounds good... But...“ Hope shimmered in his still glossy eyes when he glanced up at my face again, yet he didn’t seem to dare to ask.

„You want to stay like this a little longer, don’t you?“ His eyes widened in surprise which in turn caused me to let out a short chuckle. „You really thought I had forgotten about how much you like to cuddle? I haven’t and I don’t mind at all.“

And he did. Sure thing, it wasn’t enough to cheer him up fully again, but at least it was a beginning. And I vowed to myself that it wouldn’t be the last thing I would do to make my brother happy again.

All of them while I was at it...

After I had had my ways with those other morons and had brought them back in line, of course.

~ * Tension * ~

„Honestly, I don’t know who’s more terrifying...“ Aaron’s whispered words caused his friends to nod in agreement and to shiver while they kept watching what was happening in front of them.

At first it had been a normal meeting of their magical art class. Or rather, it had seemed like one.

They had known that Lorvin invited someone else to participate in this meeting, but neither of them had expected the demon Collin, of all people, to waltz into the room!

Each of them had already met him at least once and most of them could forgo repetition of that! For just about every one of them, he was a nightmare come to life, yet Lorvin still enjoyed his presence. The red-haired sorcerer clearly was a masochist...

However, when the black-haired demon had waltzed into the meeting room, Ferox’s back had turned ramrod straight while he had tried to stare down the other man.

Needless to say that the demon hadn’t backed down which in turn lead to the two of them engaging in an intimidating stare down against each other. Well and that’s how it had been for the past ten minutes.

Except for Collin had dropped his human disguise and had shifted into his demon form, while the air around Ferox had started to crackle with his magic, of course. Thankfully this caused Lorvin to take steps about the possible destruction of yet another room...

„Come on, you two! There’s no need for such behaviour, is it? Why don’t we end it in a draw, huh?“ He should have known better than to expect them to agree to such a thing!

„NEVER!“ Both men growled out simultaneously, but at least they now glared at the sorcerer instead of at each other. Not that this change made things better, mind you.

They still looked terrifying – and even more so since they now teamed up against the poor idiot who had dared to intervene with them!

Exactly the same idiot who, despite all signs and warnings, opened his big mouth again: „Don’t be like that! Why can’t you just become friends, huh? Or at least make a truce with each other? You’ve got so much in common, it should be easy for you to get along smoothly...“

The silence following Lorvin’s words was the cue for his classmates to make a run for the hills. One had to be daft to not notice how the tension-filled air threatened to be vented.

Additionally, none of them wanted to be around when the two black-haired men unleashed their anger upon Lorvin. The chances of falling victim to it too were too high for anybody’s liking...

Yet, one of the classmates – Gavin to be more precise – couldn’t resist to chirp out a teasing „I sense sexual tension~!“ before he hurriedly followed the others out of the room to save his sorry ass from another encounter with the deadly glaring Collin.

Fortunately for the big-mouth, the demon was busy with glaring menacingly at the cornered sorcerer – or else he would have hunted Gavin down this instant.

With them all now gone, Lorvin was left alone at the mercy of the two glaring men. Or at least almost alone.

Barbila-a was still present, too, but the female magician was one of the few selected people who had no reason to fear the demon’s wrath. And with her being one of Collin’s favourite magic-wielders it probably was the reason why the still staring and growling hunter only snorted when Barbila-a piped up: „I’m afraid that I have to steal Lorvin away for now. He‘s due to work with me on a project which demands for his immediate attention and can’t be put off until you’re finished with him.“

Nope, the demon didn’t look too happy about that little information. How fortunate for the pair that she knew exactly how to brighten up Collin’s mood again, right?

„I’ll make it up to you. How does a whole portion Flaming Hot Chili Stew and a whole batch of Serpent Cookies just for yourself sound to you?“ That offer was tempting enough for Collin to be swayed by the softly smiling magician. Much to the duo‘s relief, he even finally growled out a short „Fine...“ and turned his icy glare back towards his first opponent, Ferox.

„I’ll give you a call once I’m finished with preparing everything. But please, refrain from destroying anything while I’m gone.“ By now Barbila-a recognised the next growl of her ‚friend‘ as his version of voicing agreement. At least for the time being, that is...

As not to test the man’s patience, the two magic-wielders bid their goodbyes and left the meeting room as fast as possible to leave Collin and Ferox to another round of icy stares and nasty growls.

When the door finally clicked shut both men glanced towards the now closed entrance and listened to the departing footsteps. Even when these had completely faded away, they listened for a moment longer for safety’s sake before one of those exceedingly disturbing smiles began to show on Collin’s lips.

Ferox, on the other hand, looked astonished about what had happened.

„See? Told ya they would be creeped out.“ The demon’s dry remark elicited a heavy sigh from his magical counterpart who finally smirked on his own.

Indeed, he should have known better than to bet against this outcome. But his pride hadn’t allowed him to do so and now he had to pay the price for it. „Very well, I was obviously mistaken. State your prize and I’ll fulfill it.“

For a moment Collin appeared to be pondering about what he should demand from the wizard. There was a plethora of possibilities, yet he settled for one particular which caused his grin to grow even bigger.

„Full reign over you in all matters for the next two weeks. Not negotiable.“

If any of his friends, let alone Lorvin or Barbila-a still had been present, they would have seen Ferox blush in the brightest shade of red his body was capable of.

He knew very well that Collin was not satisfied with peanuts. No, the demon went to any lengths, always. So, when he said ‚full reign in all matters‘ he meant it.

Bargaining with him? An impossibility. On the other hand... that was what made the still-smirking demon so appealing to him.

Ferox therefore had no choice but to clear his throat and finally nod curtly. „Two weeks it is then... Starting tomorrow?“

The suddenly appearing barrier made out of the tables and chairs in front of the door all but told the flustered wizard otherwise. Collin wasn’t a patient man, especially not when it came down to Ferox being at his free disposal.

„Wanna do another bet when we’re finished here?“

He knew that he would regret this even before the demon’s smirk turned wicked, yet Ferox simply couldn’t turn him down, no matter how worse things would turn in the end. And the shivers which had gone down his spine at those words were pleasant enough to make him nod. „Spill.“

Another round of shivers rushed down his spine when the black-haired man in front of him gave off one of his rare laughs of amusement and stepped closer to him. „I’ve hoped ya would say that...“

This simply couldn’t end well by any means...

~ * Finally... * ~

For outsiders it might be a bit difficult to understand how exactly it had happened that Morlan and I had become friends. Heck, even our mutual friends couldn’t quite understand it!

After all, they had been present when Kenny had forced him to show me around and to make sure that I knew my way around! I don’t need to mention that he hadn’t been too happy about it, do I?

But despite his boisterous protests and constant complaints, he had obliged. And this in turn had been the first step for our friendship to be formed.

In order to familiarize myself with everything important as quickly as possible Morlan rarely had left my side and this had led to us learning about each other. I had accompanied him to more nights out partying and shopping trips than I could count and he in turn had accompanied me to wherever I liked to spend my time.

After a while he had stopped to complain about me being an annoying duty. Yet, this didn’t mean that he also had stopped everything else. He was the biggest and obnoxious moaner of the world after all! And an obvious tsundere, too, of course.

I deemed it cute that he always threw a little temper tantrum whenever Ryan, the flirt of our group of friends, even dared to snuggle himself up against me – but would turn into a stuttering flustered mess when I would do the very same thing to him!

Yep, I liked to tease poor Morlan occasionally and this was the best way to coax some reaction out of him.

However, despite some little difficulties and thanks to some kind of helpful events occurring, our friendship grew stronger with every new day passing by. At least on the outside. On the inside things were slightly different.

That Morlan held an all too obvious crush on me was common knowledge. Why else would our friends use this to tease him on a daily base, huh? Everybody knew it, heck, even my brother sometimes joined in the teasing!

Which was probably the reason why I believed all those comments about him having the hots for me. I mean... If it were a lie, my brother would already have said so, wouldn’t he?

Yet, he wasn’t the only one with a crush. I had one, too. But I was a tad bit better at hiding it. At least in public. But whenever we had crashed at either his or my room, I tried to subtly tell him the truth.

And why shouldn’t I try my luck anyway? Sure, in the worst case my stay here was limited to one year at max, but there surely existed ways to see each other afterwards, right? But before we could see us afterwards, we had to become a couple at first.

Sadly it wasn’t quite as easy as I had hoped it would be to confess to him.

When the twentieth try didn’t work out like it should – Morlan fell asleep halfway through the movie we were watching in his room – I grew desperate. For one moment I even thought about asking Ryan for some help and advice!

„Oh gosh... Where came that from? Just no...“ Fortunately for me, my slightly snoring crush hadn’t heard my whispered words of horror. But now you hopefully understand how desperate I really was!

Heaving a deep sigh I tried to slip away from the sleeping man, yet I didn’t get far.

Strong arms wrapped themselves around my upper body and pulled me towards Morlan’s warm body, who slightly grumbled in his sleep. Nope, he didn’t seem to like the idea of me leaving him right now – and to prevent me from trying it again, he rolled us over until I was trapped under his upper body and one of his legs.

Honestly? It felt good. Maybe a tad bit too good. After all, this was what I had been longing for quite a while now. Sure, it hurt a bit to know that he never would have cuddled me like this if he had been awake, but ... he didn’t need to know, did he?

Cautiously I glanced at his relaxed face and heaved another sigh. Oh the temptation!

How was I supposed to resist when his face showed off his contentment about our little cuddling session?
The answer was as simple as breathing: Not at all!

I wanted this, I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to be secured away in his arms! Admittedly I wanted this to be normal, I wanted it to happen whenever we felt like it and not only as some secretly stolen cuddles during his sleeping time. Pathetic and embarrassing, but... obviously the only chance for me.

And so I took my chance without as much as a second thought and snuggled closer against his warm body.

Fortunately for me, I woke up earlier than he did and managed to wriggle my way out of his limb arms. It would be better to be gone before he woke up himself. Or else my morning would be filled by his usual rambling - something I clearly could forgo after this rather pleasant night.

Should I feel happy about the fact that he didn’t mention that evening at all? Probably, yet it still hurt. But whereas he appeared to be blissfully unaware of what had happened and how it affected me, our friends noticed my slowly growing unhappiness.

I had to give them credit for trying to cheer me up again, but I preferred to suffer in solitude – and to cause myself even more heartache by spending even more time with Morlan than before. Stupid, I know, but I could hardly stop seeing him, couldn’t I?

So, when my friends couldn’t solve my obvious problem by approaching me personally, they opted for the second best way: approach Morlan! As my best friend he should know what was bothering me, shouldn’t he?

Little did they know that it had been the right thing to do.
And with Morlan already crushing hard on me it was easy for them to convince him to keep a close eye on me and my behaviour.

Okay, truth be told, it was rather that they had worried him sick and therefore he did most things on his own behalf, but the result was the same.

The changes in his behaviour were surprisingly so small, so subtle, that I didn’t notice them at first.

At first he was only a tad bit more attentive, then he started to be more protective of me... And – believe it or not – at some point he showed how thoughtful he could be!

All those small things summed themselves up and helped to brighten my mood again until I stopped thinking about this one evening all these weeks ago.

In the end we found ourselves back, where everything had started: at Morlan’s room, sprawled out on his settee while we were watching a movie. So far, so good, right? Only that this time something was different.

Instead of simply sitting next to each other and enjoying the movie, I found myself being pulled flush against his side. Much to my surprise, might I add! He had never done something like that before – and now he did? Without as much as a second thought?

A cautious glance up towards his face revealed: he wasn’t as unaffected as he tried to appear. His cheeks showed a deep shade of red and no matter how intense he stared at the screen, he couldn’t stop sneaking nervous glances at me.

Such a situation wasn’t unusual, was it? Best friends did such things, didn’t they? Then why the heck were we so nervous, huh? And yes, I was nervous, too!

„Just don’t get any ideas about it. You’re just so incredibly weak and you look like you’re going to fall off the settee at any moment!“ His sudden outburst startled me before a small albeit annoyed huff left my lips.

Typical! Why did he have to destroy such a wonderful moment at all?

„Sure... Whatever you say, moron.“ My words were accompanied by a disappointed glance at him, which in turn lead to him only tightening his grip around my shoulder and clicking his tongue at me.

„Oi, why are ya angry with me, huh? I was just making sure you didn’t get hurt.“

Some mumbled words followed his statement, something along the lines of me being too precious for him to see me getting hurt.

Why couldn’t he tell me this without his usual boisterous antics, huh? Why did he have to always sabotage his own sweet words?! Was his supposed crush on me even true, or was he just deriving his own fiendish pleasure from my ridiculous attempts to show him that these feelings were mutual?

Unintentionally I voiced my thoughts out loud and with enough disappointment lacing my voice that not even he could miss it at all. And much to my surprise: he didn’t. He had caught every word that had left my lips and he even had understood them. Mostly thanks to him sitting right next to me.

Don’t ask me how much effort it took him to pull me fully onto his lap until all I could see was him, but it must have been a lot. I could feel him tremble underneath me and a short glance at his face revealed the deepest blush I’d ever seen on him. Even deeper than my own blush which had crept upon my cheeks.

„No lie. Never been. Never will be“, he hurriedly reassured me while he forced himself to stare me dead in the eyes. „And mutual, you say? Uhm...“

Well, there he struggled a bit, he even squirmed underneath me before he finally tightened his embrace again. But only after he had swallowed heavily, he choked out whatever he had wanted to add. „Wanna be mine?“

If I hadn’t already been in love with him, I would have fallen for him at this very moment. The hopeful look in his eyes, the deep blush covering most of his facial skin, the nervous twitching of his fingers on my back...

Obviously, he had expected anything else to happen, but not that I would happily smile at him, throw my arms around his neck and would nuzzle my face against his own until I could whisper into his ear. „I was beginning to think you would never ask...“

~ * Precious full moon * ~

There were a few things Celduin enjoyed. Like listening to some selected music or drinking a good cup of tea. Small things, yet they helped him to find some peace of mind.

But these were only the best known preferences of the noble elf. Yet, there was something else, something much more special for him than just a good cup of tea or a special song. Something that only his Lord Aranel knew about. Maybe his right hand man Firion too, but he couldn’t know for sure.

He had found this special thing roughly about one month after he had become an adult in his clan. It had been by sheer coincidence that he had wandered around his home forest that night, lost in his own thoughts and with exhaustion crawling through his body and mind.

He almost had missed it, had only caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eyes when he had intended to return back home. But this glimpse had been enough to stop him in his tracks. It had piqued his curiosity and had caused him to make a detour.

A detour he never had regretted.

All day long he already had felt antsy and restless. He had cursed the minutes ticking away too slowly for his liking, he had growled lowly at whoever had dared to pester him with their ridiculous antics and problems.

Every other day he would have taken care of these problems, but not today! And by now they should know that they shouldn’t approach him whenever the full moon was about to rise during the night.

His brother Celeborn once had dared to joke about Celduin being a werewolf - the elf hadn’t taken too well to his brother’s words and had made himself clear that he and all the others should stop with their childish assumptions.

No, this wasn’t about werewolves at all! But Celduin wouldn’t even dream of telling them the real reason for his ‚strange‘ behaviour. No... He didn’t want them to taint this for him; this one thing he enjoyed the most, this one thing he had for himself...

„Let’s call it a night, why don’t we? We’ve done enough for the day.“ Lord Aranel’s voice tore Celduin’s attention back to the present. The elf had no idea what they had been talking about at all, but he took the opportunity and nodded his consent.

It was already later than he had anticipated it to be and he would need to hurry up if he didn’t want to miss it at all!

So he didn’t even take his usual time to bid the lord and the others present goodbye; instead, he jumped from his seat and made a beeline to the door leading out of the council‘s meeting room.

He even left his belongings behind, which were picked up by Firion. A little precaution Celduin and Lord Aranel had agreed on if it ever would be necessary. Like right now.

His two friends even went so far as to intercept the remaining council members from following Celduin. It wouldn’t end well for anybody involved if they would disturb him right now – and especially Firion knew all too well what it would set off in the long term.

Or rather what it would destroy for the hurrying elf...

Never in his life had Celduin run as fast as he was doing now. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he would miss even one second of what he wished to witness!

Screw his dishevelled appearance, screw his wheezing breath! He had to reach his usual observation point before the full moon had fully arisen!

With only seconds to spare he burst through some bushes and stopped dead in his tracks.

The first signs of what was about to happen already had started to appear and were cutting him off from his planned way. He would never be able to reach his usual cover in time, but he also hadn’t enough time left to search for somewhere else to hide!

All he could do right now was to stare in awe at the all too familiar figure appearing in the softly glowing light of the moon, readying itself to enjoy its time spent in this hidden clearing...

~~~

Ever since I could remember I found myself dreaming of a special place. Not every night, of course, but during those nights when the full moon shone brightly from the dark sky.

For most others my special place wouldn’t even be special. It was a clearing in a foreign place, surrounded by big trees and with strange bushes blocking the paths.

Small, yet unusual critters often gathered on this clearing to greet me when I appeared in their home and would spend their time playing around with me until I would leave again.

It was such a peaceful place, yet I felt like something was missing whenever I found myself there.

That lonely feeling followed me, you could even say it haunted me for quite a while, whenever my time was up and I found myself back in my own bed. And every time I still felt tired despite having had a full night‘s rest.

But despite this strange loneliness lingering within me for some days to follow, I always was looking forward to returning to this clearing. I always counted the days until the next full moon and when the night finally arrived I always hurried up so I could get in bed as early as possible.

A happy smile showed itself on my lips when I felt the soft tingle of grass and moss underneath my bare feet; the tell-tale sign that I had left my bed behind and was back on my clearing. But something felt off... Something was different than usual.

Instead of feeling lonely, I felt like I was being watched by somebody. Not by those little watchful eyes of the usual critters, of course, but by something ... bigger?

Cautiously I opened my eyes and glanced around, not daring to move any faster as not to startle who or whatever was watching me so closely. The usual greenery was the first thing I could see, those familiar trees and bushes that surrounded the clearing.

But when I slowly turned around my eyes fell onto something new... Or rather someone new. I knew for sure that the man didn’t belong to this place, he had never been here before as far as I could remember.

He was tall with dark hair, pointed ears, and a surprisingly handsome face, all dressed up in some kind of an uniform I didn’t recognise. His eyes were fixated on me; they were as wide as mine from surprise, maybe even shock. But despite his good looks, he radiated an aura of power... of importance.

Neither of us dared to even utter a single word while we kept staring at each other. But whereas he seemed to satisfy some secret cravings, I was busy pondering over the strange sensation arising in my chest.

A soft pull that replaced the feeling of loneliness slowly but surely. And the longer I stared at this man, the stronger that once soft pull became. But why?

Again it was only a slow movement when I tilted my head sideward and blinked at him questioningly. Who was he? And why was he here at all? Maybe he was just shy?

„Hi... I’m Y/N...“ My whispered greeting startled him, I could see him flinch before he understood what had happened. I had talked to him, I had told him my name, but what obviously surprised him the most was that I hadn’t run away from him.

Still, it took him some more moments to fully understand that it was his turn to introduce himself to me, to tell me his name, to do anything else than staring at me.

A smile appeared on his lips, he even took a small step forwards when he finally could form the words needed: „Good evening, Y/N. I’m...“

But I never heard his name ...

Apparently, he had made a mistake when he had voiced my name.

Within seconds I found myself surrounded by harsh wind and blinding light; I could feel my feet losing their contact to the ground before I was hauled away forcefully and without any warning.

It was still in the middle of the night when I jolted awake in my own bed; my clock announced to me that it was only 1:00 am in the early morning. The full moon was still out and not hidden away behind dark clouds, so ...

What had happened? Why was I back so soon?

Sadly, it remained that way. Not only this night I wasn’t brought back to my clearing, no matter how much I wished for it to happen.

Month after month I was denied the access to my happiest place so far.

The only thing that I had left was the memory of it ... and the picture of this dark-haired man which had engraved itself into my mind.

~ * Stubborn fool * ~

After what had happened between Nico and me, a tense atmosphere had prevailed between us. While our friends kept the whole thing quiet and preferred to pretend that nothing had happened, Nico avoided me as much as he could.

Which was not exactly what I wanted. I wasn't angry with him anymore, I understood why he had done all that, but he just didn't give me the opportunity to tell him that I had already forgiven him for his actions.

But whenever I tried to corner him to tell him this and spend time with him... he would just slip away.

The longer he successfully avoided me, the weaker my determination to make things right between us turned. And in the end, when he yet again had slipped through my fingers, I finally gave up...

With a dejected sigh I watched him disappear around a corner. It was useless... If he absolutely didn't want to talk to me, I couldn't force him to.

So instead of following him as usual, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. All under the watchful eyes of some of our friends.

That I had accepted my defeat, he realized the next morning at breakfast.

Instead of sitting down with him and Tommy as usual, I fell lazily onto the chair between Iris and Susanne, listlessly poking around in my breakfast. I didn't even look at him properly when I asked Tommy to pass me something.

In fact I had only looked at him once that morning and then just briefly and with an expression as if I didn't really notice him.

Not only he had noticed my giving up. Since I had sat down they all had watched me closely, from time to time exchanging glances with each other.

No tries to talk to Nico, no sitting next to him, simply nothing? That’s unusual. In the end it was Victor, who spoke up, trying to strike a conversation with me.

„So, what have you planned for today?“

Interrupting my poking at my breakfast, I averted my eyes towards him and gave a thoughtful hum. „Dunno… Shopping with Lola?“

Deafening silence spread after my rather listless remark. At least after Marvin and Iris had recovered from their violent choking. I wanted to go shopping with Lola? Voluntarily? Without her bugging me for three hours and in the end dragging me along despite all objections?

Even Lola stared at me for a moment, simply perplexed, before she exchanged a glance with Victor and silently asked him for advice. What was she supposed to do?!

„Well… have fun, I guess?“ What else could Victor say? He could hardly forbid me to go shopping with her, could he? Even though Lola looked like she didn't know what to think about this unexpected opportunity.

I thanked him with a short nod, then I pushed my plate away from me and stood up.

„I'll just get my bag. Shall I get yours, too, and meet you at the front door in five minutes, Lola?“ Her surprised „Yes, that would be lovely~“ made me nod again before I left the room to fetch our bags.

As soon as I was out of sight, all eyes turned to Nico to look at him in a frowning manner.

„You should be ashamed of yourself!“

„Ya broke my darlin‘!“

„Stupid pea-brain…“

„And people always think I'm the worst…“

„It's gonna take more than a few hours to cheer Y/N up again! Shame on you.“

Only Tommy remained silent and stared at him with disappointed eyes. And that was the worst thing he could do to Nico. Who still didn't quite understand what actually just had happened?

„I didn't do anything! Stop blaming me for this!“ Defensively he crossed his arms in front of his chest and shook his head. He had not done anything wrong, on the contrary, he had done everything right. Since that unpleasant story...

He had definitely avoided Y/N! Partly out of shame, partly out of guilt... and partly because he was sure that he wasn’t forgiven for his doings yet.

„Oh, man... And I thought Marvin was the dumbass of our group...“ Susanne’s remark caused another round of bickering between the bunch, excluding Lola who excused herself and headed to the front door to go on the unexpected shopping spree.

It was unusual for Lola of all people to be on time, but I didn’t complain when she showed up after the mentioned five minutes. In fact I didn’t complain at all.

Neither when she dragged me to her most favourite clothes shop nor when she shoved me into a beauty parlour to get me pampered. Hell, she could even cling to me for dear life, I didn't care! At least she appreciated my company...

But my lack of complaints worried her immensely. Normally I would swat her roaming hands away or would poke her rips when I had enough of her attention, but today? It seemed to her as if I would crave her undivided attention.

At some point she was even so worried that she kept writing messages to the others to inform them of any new irregularities.

Needless to say, it didn't really make Nico feel any better. Also thanks to the respective reactions of the rest of our group towards him as the culprit of this strange behaviour.

When we finally returned to our shared house in the late afternoon, it seemed as if the shopping spree with Lola had helped to ease my mind a little.

At dinner I cracked some smiles and jokes with Marvin and Susanne, I even ate a little more than I had at breakfast, but I made no efforts to interact with Nico.

The next days always proceeded like this. Victor would ask me at breakfast what my plans for the day would be and I would answer with „Dunno...“ and proposes of activities with someone.

Gaming with Marvin, reading with Susanne, sport with Lisa, cooking with Tommy or working with Victor… but never ever did I mention any activity with Nico. Instead I even mentioned some other friends of mine whenever it would be Nico’s turn of spending time with me.

I mean… he didn’t want me to be near him, so why should I force him then?

I knew little about what my actions were causing for him.

Whereas I had followed him again and again before and had tried to talk to him, he now found himself in that position.

Now he was the one who followed me, who tried to talk to me, and who grew more desperate the longer I avoided him.

And it buggered him... actually a lot.

And I? I didn’t care the slightest. I spend my time with everybody else, did my work and my chores and kept myself busy as best as I could.

My evenings, on the other hand, I spend in a nice order. Mondays with Victor, Tuesdays with Marvin, and so on. Saturdays with Tommy were held at my own room since his room was right next to Nico’s.

Only on Sundays, I stayed in my own bedroom and didn’t show my face until the very next morning. Not knowing that Nico sat near my door, waiting for me to leave my hiding place. He never beat me to reaching my room, much to his dismay. Every Sunday he would try again and every time he would be too late.

At some point he had enough of losing against me.

On this particular Sunday, he excused himself early from dinner and hurried over to my door. A smug grin showed itself on his face while he leaned against it and waited for me to arrive.

Said grin faltered when I didn't show up at my usual time. He waited longer, one hour, two, three, but to no avail. I was rarely ever late, so what could take me so long?!

Huffing in annoyance he glanced at his smartphone and clicked on a social media notification. When he had to wait for me he also could busy himself with some new stories, right? But what he saw almost caused him to drop the device in shock.

On the picture he had opened last, he could see my hand, which I held out to the starry sky and with which I pretended to pick out single small stars. I had went stargazing! And – on top of that – without him!

Fighting against his clumsiness and gravity, he rushed along the halls, skipped down the stairs, stormed past whoever was at home and ran out to our small garden. Stumbling over his own feet he reached the spot where I was lying on the ground, while my gaze wandered along the nightly sky.

When I heard someone call my name I diverted my gaze into the direction of the approaching person.

It was dark and since I wasn’t an owl, I recognized Nico only when we ended up face-to-face, thanks to his clumsy self. His last stumble had caused him to fall face first onto my lying form, blinking at me in confusion.

„I've waited for you, you know?!“ he snarled at me but didn't roll himself over to lay next to me.

„Huh? Why would you do that? You've made yourself clear enough that you don't want me around you. And I obeyed you. Don’t see where your problem is…“ As best I could, I shrugged one shoulder and then let my head roll a little to the side so I could look at the stars again.

Only that he didn't want to know about it and followed my head movement with his own. My vision continued to be completely taken over by his face, while he stared at me with an unwilling pout.

But before he could say anything back, I just kept on talking: „I tried to talk to you all the time, but you kept running away. And at some point I understood that it's no use trying to tell you that I've forgiven you because... You don't want to have anything to do with me anyway. So I stopped trying. It hurt, a lot, but I can't make you listen to me and spend time with me, can I?“

Again I shrugged my shoulder, but this time I tried to push him off me afterwards. „And it's all right. I'm moving out soon anyway, and then you won't have to worry about that stupid, annoying brat you hate so much anymore.“

My attempts to move him failed, partly because he suddenly wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed himself firmly against me. The fact that he did the exact opposite of what I had actually expected of him was accordingly confusing.

„You've forgiven me? For real?“ As he buried his face in me, I had some problems to understand him. But the look he gave me after my reflex humming translated his previous mumbling quite well.

So many different emotions were reflected in his eyes. But the most obvious were relief and shame. Relief that I had forgiven him and shame that he had not been able to overcome his own fear earlier.

„Yes.“

Silence hung heavy in the air as we just looked each other in the eyes after my soft reply. It took a while, but eventually he seemed to understand what it meant.

I had forgiven him -

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