Chapter 1

Fuck I curse out loud as soon as I look at the time, I'm 2 hours late. Ag this is just not my day I can feel it. I take a quick shower no time to comb my hair so I wear my doek. I run out of the house to my car only to found that I forgot my car keys. I run back to the house and I have a mini heart attack when I don't see my keys where I usually put them. Gosh I'm running around the house like a mad woman if I wasn't so late and stressed I was going to sit and laugh at myself. After 15 minutes of searching I find them under one of the couches.
As soon as I get into my car, I call my PA who is also my friend Nono.
"Where the hell are you", she screams into the phone.
"Nono really now? Can't you talk like a normal person" I scream back angrily.
She doesn't answer me instead she goes on to tell me about the that the new client who had an appointment an hour back left. Oh great just great now I lost a new client because my husband didn't wake me this morning.
"What about the gardener", I ask her praying that he didn't leave. We had an appointment that was scheduled for 8am, 2 hours ago.
"He won't leave", she replied annoyed.
I was happy that he didn't leave. I know I sound weird well let me just say, YOU SHOULD SEE THE GARDEN.
QUICK INTRO: I am Luthando Nxumalo a 32 year old law firm owner. I always loved law from a very young. People around me wanted to be teachers but hell no not me. Well I admit I also wanted to be a teacher. But things changed when my dad divorced my mom, when I was 13 years. My dad left my mom with nothing, I mean nothing. No home No clothes. So I vowed that I was going to be a lawyer and help women like my mom. I mean my mom helped my dad become the man that he is today, Mr Big Shot but as soon as he started earning big, what did he do? He left my mom and me with nothing. I kind of hated my mom for letting him do that to her to us.
Oh My God so much traffic am I being punished or what. Well I forgot to mention that I am also melo dramatic.
I was stuck in the traffic for an hour, I thought I was going to faint, but the cars before me started moving.
I got to the office at 11 and I get to work at 8 since the firm opens at 8:30.
I walked into the office to find Nono talking on the phone, well she was actually gossiping like always. She must be talking to her boyfriend because when she's talking to him you'd swear that she is talking to a 5-year old. I don't like her boyfriend he's obsessive, creepy and abusive. I worry about her and when I talk to her but she just laughs and brush me off.
As soon as she's done she starts screaming me like a 5-year old. I usually ignore her but today I was moody and very late. I hate being late so people close to me know that you don't talk to me when I'm late let alone scream at me. My husband usually tip toes around me. Just thinking about him makes me very mad. WHY DID HE NOT WAKE ME?
"If you no longer want the job you'll keep screaming at me", I hiss
When I turn to look at her, she's shocked as I am.
Where is that coming from? But hey that's me when I am pissed.
"Well I'm sorry, Lulu I didn't mean to scream at you", she mumbles
Well most people call me that but I hate that nickname it reminds of the person who gave it to me, years ago.
I just walk into my office, soon after she follows me with a cup of coffee hoping to cheer me up. I mumble my thank you.
She reminds me of the gardener.
"He's really desperate to get this job, he won't leave until he sees you" she says keeping her distance.
I ask her to bring him to my office. Few seconds later I hear heavy footsteps getting near, well that must be him. I ask him to give me a minute then I hear Nono joining us, as I am typing furiously texting me husband asking why he didn't wake me up .
He leaves the house at 6:30 every morning.
As soon as I raise my head I see him oh God after so many years. We are both shocked after everything I have been through. No actually AFTER EVERYTHING HE PUT ME THROUGH.

 

 

Hey guys this is Hlengiwe Mathebula. This is my first book. Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and you will enjoy the whole book. If you came across spelling or grammatical errors I'm sorry, I hope I will improve as I go on. If you guys feel the need to criticise me no problem actually I would love that. Sounds weird right? Well I believe that criticism will help me grow as a person or as a writer. So please guys if you criticise me do it in a positive way. Thank you for reading this chapter I hope it's interesting enough for you to continue to the next one. Thank you. Mega Love

Chapter 2

 Remember I said I hate being called Lulu because I hate the person who gave me that nickname? Well the guy standing infront me is the reason I hate the nickname.
I haven't been feeling well for some time now. Last night I decided that I need to go to the clinic hoping it's nothing serious. I hated being at home the whole day doing nothing. Hearing my mom complain about everything.
You see since my dad left us with nothing my mom started working as a maid for some rich family not far from here. The pay was not enough but at least she walked to work.
I finished bathing and walked to the clinic. It is not very far, it is just a 10 minutes walk from my place.
The clinic opens at 7 so I wanted to be early and I left the house 20 minutes before it is open. As I am walking I see a guy who is the same age as me or a little older with an infant. The baby is crying so loud it even hurts and I don't even know them so I approach to help him. I am good with babies and I love them. I baby sit for the family my mom works for, for extra money to help my mom where I can. 
As I approach them I see him. I have been crushing on this guy since I hit the puberty stage. I always wanted to talk to him but I was always scared that he will see right through me. I mean see that I like him.  
"Hello, I am Luthando, do you need help with the baby?" I asked 
He turned to look at me, he looked surprised and relived.
"Yes please"
He handed me the baby, no actually he shoved the baby towards me.
"Oh God I'm sorry I didn't mean to" he said as soon as his eyes landed on me and he saw that I was shocked by his behaviour. 
"No, it's okay you must be tired" I answered softly when I saw bags under his eyes, and his weak smile.
"Oh I am Melusi, and this is Okuhle, my son" he said not looking at me.
"Hello baby, what's wrong why are you crying so much?" I asked the baby.
"I don't know what's wrong, he's been crying all night I tried everything but he just won't stop crying" he said frustrated.
"Are you talking him to the clinic?" I asked he nodded.
"Where's Okuhle's mom?" I know I sounded nosey but hey I had to ask him. 
"She left" that's all he said.
"Well I am also heading to the clinic, is okay if I hold him for you?" I asked shyly. Well that's my excuse of wanting to be close to him.
"I'd love that, thank you" he replied relived.
Well the baby was sleeping peacefully so we walked in silence, I was curious about a lot of things. But I didn't want to interrogate him.
The clinic was kinda empty but I thinks it's due to the fact that today is Wednesday. Public clinics are usually full on a Friday or Monday around here.
I was going to the adult section and Melusi and Okuhle were going to the other side. Adults and children are usually separated. I told Melusi that I will come as soon as I am done. But Okuhle woke up as soon as I handing him to his father and he started crying again. Gosh this baby. I took him back and he stopped crying and for some reason he smiled and said "mama".
I was soo shocked and looking at Melusi I saw that I wasn't the only one. So this baby thought I was his mother? I wonder what made his mom leave. I decided to go with them to the nurses.
They checked him and found that the baby had nappy burns that's why he was crying so much. They gave us a cream to use and the sores will go away within a few days, if we applied it for the next 3 days.
After we were done Okuhle still didn't want to go to his dad he cried and said mama then jumped from his dad to me.
I decided not to go through anymore.
We went to Melusi's house. The house was a mess. I helped him clean, bathe and feed the baby. He fell asleep after I helped him burp, then I just sat awkwardly with Melusi.
"I can never thank you enough for this" he said smiling at me. Well for the first time he smiled at me. I don't know if he has never seen me before or he was just ignoring me. 
~~~
"Oh God Lulu you have grown, still beautiful I see" he said clearly not believing his eyes.
I was brough back to the present.
"So you did study law after all, I didn't think we'll meet again after the way we seperated 12 years ago, I regret the way I treated you, you didn't deserve that" he said frowning.
It was 12 years ago? Why does it still hurt like it happened 12 minutes ago. My phone vibrated indicating that I have received a text message.
I checked and saw that it came from my husband
Hubby: I am so sorry baby, I just thought you needed to rest. You have been working hard since we bought that law firm. You need to rest baby, weekends are not enough. Sorry I didn't wake you. Love you
I smiled at the text. Ever since I met Mlondolozi I have been happy. He makes me happy and sometimes very mad. But he's my world. He's been there for me through thick and thin never gave up on me no matter how much I pushed him away.
"You know that night Okuhle kept asking for you, we didn't sleep he cried most of the night"
I just smiled just thinking about him brought sadness but I would think about the times we had. The best times.

Chapter 3

 Since that day I woke up at 4am and left the house a little after 5 to help Melusi bath and feed Okuhle and take him one of Melusi's relatives who looked after him during the day. We then walked to school, we had morning classes from 7am to 7:45.
We also had afternoon classes which were not compulsory, so I didn't attend them anymore because I had to help Melusi and go home to do my chores.
We left the school premises as soon as the final bell rang. We went to his place clean and cook which took us an hour then I'd go home and do the same.
"What are we?" I ask Melusi
That question caught him off guard cause he choked on his saliva
"I mean we have this routine and we have been doing this for 3 weeks now and I don't know if we are in a relationship or we are just friends" I said not looking at him afraid of his reaction.
"I'd like you to be my girlfriend, but I was afraid to ask you" he said after some time.
"Why" I asked laughing.
"I didn't think you'd want someone like me, that's all" he said and we were quiet for remaining minutes.
I was actually hurt you know because I had feelings for him for some time and now and he was not making any move.
I mean we spend most of our free time together but he can't seem to fall for me like I have fallen for him.
~~~~
Beep beep I snapped back as soon as I heard that tone. It must be Nono's phone because she was staring at the screen and smiling like an idiot. It must that boyfriend of hers. 
"How has Okuhle been he must be a handsome young man" I said smiling.
He was a very cute baby and we always teased him that he will be a heartbreaker. But looking back I just hope he doesn't break a girl's heart like his dad broke mine.
I loved Melusi he was my world my everything. That's how I saved his number on my phone "My World". Seeing him here today made me realise that I loved him.
I mean we met when I was almost 18 and he was my first boyfriend and I thought we'd grow old together. That thought brought tears to my eyes, cause I remember how he laughed in my face when I told him that 12 years ago.
Damn it feels like 12 minutes ago.
I remember how I cried myself to sleep after that for months.
I even had to de-register at the University I was attending because I felt that I was going to fail. My mom was furious but I couldn't blame her. 

Chapter 4

 Nono was so shocked as soon as she realised that this is my ex I told her about. You see I met Nono the day Melusi left me. You see I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned around so quick thinking it's Melusi. Well I was hoping he realised what he has lost but nope it wasn't. Instead I saw this girl who looked at me with sympathy.
~~~~~
"Hello, where you from?" asked the girl.
"I'm from Finetown", I answered tears filling my eyes.
"Do you know where you are right now?", she asked softly and I shook my head indicating that I didn't.
When I looked at the watch I was so shocked I didn't realise that it was this late. I was a little after 8, clearly I have been walking for more than 2 hours.
"Well I can see that there's something wrong but I won't force you to tell me. You cannot find a taxi to your area you can sleep at my place if you don't mind. I promise you I'm not a psychopath. Are you okay with that?" she asked softly.
For some reason I feel safe with her, there's something deep inside me telling me that I can trust her.
"Oh I'm Nokuphila aka Nono" she introduced herself.
For some reason I don't like people who use aka when they introduce themselves, but I need a place to sleep I can't walk home it is not safe here.
"I am Luthando", I told her.
"Oh I love that name. I am planning to name my baby by that name", she said shyly.
We walk to her house. OMG I can't believe that some people live in such a place. I miss home. Okay I am standing infront of a shack that looks like it will fall apart anytime from now. There are no windows and it is a 1 room shack. When we walk in there isn't much. There's a table and 2 chairs in the middle, a single old bed, another table at the back of the door which has a 1 plate stove and cutlery. I know some people are poor but I've never seen a place like hers. But it is tidy at least she keeps it clean.
Well I don't have friends I'm forever reading so I didn't go to people's houses except for my neighbours and those who live in shacks do not live in a such horrible shacks.
There's no wardrobe she hangs some of her clothes from a nail, some clothe are packed on the boxes. There isn't much really.
"Welcome to my place, I know it's not much but at least you'll be able to rest" she said a little offended.
Oh God she must have seen my facial expression, I quickly force a small smile on my face.
"Thank you dear, it means a lot. Yes it's not much but at least you have a home and this place is very tidy" I mumble.
"Are you hungry" she asks me.
Okay from where I'm from you don't ask a visitor if they are hungry or not you just give them food. Even if you're not hungry you eat so that you don't offend the person offering you food.
"No I'm not I'm just tired I had a long and horrible day" I answer her honestly.
I mean how can I have an appetite when the love of my life has just left me and gone back to the very same person who left him for another man, not only but she left him with a baby who was just 6 months. I helped him raise the kid missed some of the papers cause the baby needed to go the clinic. This is how he thanks me? Didn't my mom warn me about Melusi? I'm such a dumb. I kinda zoned out I didn't hear what she said and I asked her to repeat.
"I said you can take a bath and take out a pair of pj's from the bottom box on your right" she repeated.
"Can I skip the bathing part and just go to bed" I asked her.
"You need to eat first I won't allow you to sleep without eating anything" she said sternly
"But I am not..."
I didn't even finish the sentence before she disturbed me.
"Look I know we don't know each other and you don't want to eat because of the dump I live in, but you know it's rude to let a guest leave without getting anything to eat. I will warm up the supper you can eat 5 spoons and I will allow you to eat" she said offended again.
"I didn't meant to offend..."
Once again she didn't let me finish.
"It's okay I understand, I'm used to people looking down on me and judging me because I live in this kind of place" she said and turned around to continue warming up the food.
20 minutes later we ate in silence. We had rice and mince meat.
After eating I went to wash the dishes she stopped me and told me to go sleep. She took out clean linen and blankets for me. I went to bed but I couldn't sleep.
After some time I heard her moving the table and chairs and she slept on the floor. I felt really bad I mean she has sacrificed so much for a person she doesn't even know and here I am judging her.
I'm just stupid no wonder Melusi left me. Oh no I take that back.
After tossing and turning for hours, Nono asked what's wrong.
I just told her everything growing up with no friends I was used to keeping things to myself but for some reason I found that it is easier to talk to another person. She held me when I cried and told me that everything will be fine.
She later told me how and why she ended up staying alone. It is true that if you think you have bigger problems then talk to the next person you'll find that your problems are nothing compared to theirs.
I mean at the age of 21 Nono has been through a lot but she's still here. 

Chapter 5

I must admit when Melusi left me I was broken, I thought I'm gonna die due to the heartache but I lived. I met my husband 7 years ago and we've been married for 5 years we don't have any kids just yet. I had a misscariage 2 years back so he decided that we should wait until I've fully healed.
"Is this Melusi?" Nono asks shocked.
"Yup" I answer bitterly.
"Wow, never thought I'd leave to see this day ey", Nono answers.
"Lulu I'm sorry" he tells me looking at his feet
"For what exactly?"
"I'm sorry for leaving you" he replies still not meeting my eyes.
"Don't be leaving me was the best thing you did for me" I tell him.
"Kea also left me 2 years after she came back. I went to your house to look for you, but I didn't find anyone and your neighbours told me you guys relocated. Because they know our history they didn't want to give me your contact detaila. I went to where you studied and sat at the gate for 2 full weeks and I didn't see you" he tells me sadly.
"Hehehe so that means you went to look for her when your baby mama left again" asks Nono clearly shocked from the looks in her eyes.
Nono is very protective of me. She fights for me when I can't which is like all the time. I am the weakest person ever I don't argue back I just walk away. Nono has been my back bone since I met her 12 years ago. She's been the best big sis I never had. There were times when I felt like I can't go on. The pain was too much. This one time if it wasn't for her I would've died. Since that day I made a vow everyday that I will always be there for her no matter what.
~~~
The following day after I slept at Nono's place I went home and talked to my mom and Nono moved in with us. Two weeks after she moved my mom's employers lost their baby girl after she drowned in the pool at night. They decided to move away and gave my mom their place with everything inside we moved to that house. It was big we all had our rooms. Back at home we lived in a RDP house. Two bedrooms, lounge and kitchen no bathroom. But I was dpressed to a point where I had to de-register at the University I was going to. I couldn't cope you know my dad left me not more than 10 years ago. Well maybe he was mad at my mom I don't know but did he have to leave me? Well within 10 years 2 important men left me. I started to think that there's something wrong with me.
~~~~
"Do you even know what you have done to Luthando?" Nono asked clearly pissed.
When he didn't answer Nono went on to speak. "Oh so now you can't talk you bustard? Did you even know what you put her through? See I told you he's not worth it, he never was" she said that pointing a finger at him but looking at me.
"I'm so sorry Lulu" he said after some times
"How's that gonna help. Gosh you're 7 years late. Yezwa 7 years late" she said showing him my wedding ring.
He gasped and started crying, being the person I am I walked to him wanting to console him but Nono wouldn't let me. I forgive easily but not Nono, looking at this from the outside you'd swear that Nono is the ex not me, the way she was so furious. I've never seen her this mad, I was scared for him.
"Nono..."
I didn't even finish.
"No Luthando I don't wanna hear it. I know what you thinking. I know the kind of person you are, you're going to ask for forgiveness even if you're not wrong" she said shouting.
She knows I hate being shouted at.
"Nono it's okay you don't have to be mad" I asked her hoping she'd leave Melusi alone. But you'd swear that I aked her to shout some more and she didn't just shout she was now swearing at him. Ever since I lost my mom a year ago she has been more protective, she played the mother role and she's just a year older rolling my eyes.
"Hheyi angikwatanga ngiyanuka" (I am not mad I'm furious)
I begged her to calm down she eventually did. I don't blame her. She's the one who didn't sleep most nights so she can listen to me or console me when I was crying. 

Chapter 6

 Chapter 6
I cannot go on like this, I miss him so much it's been 2 years now but it still feels like yesterday. Yesterday I was googling ways on how to commit suicide without much pain. But I didn't find anything. So after class I went to buy rat poison I mean it is common for people to use when they are committing suicide and it works.
I boil water so I can make coffee instead of sugar I put the rat poison. I drink it and feel sick after less than a minute of drinking the poison.
"Damn this doesn't take longer than I thought" I mumble.
I think of my mom and everything that she has been through how my death will affect her and I now have regrets. I think of the things I didn't think of before buying and drinking poison. I check the bed side table to see if the letters are still there, and yeah they are still where I put them.
The first one is for my mom obvious and the second one is for Nono.
Dear mama
I know what I did will hurt more than anything, but ma I can't go on like this. I tried to live and pretend as if nothing happened. First it was baba leaving me I mean us and now the love of ife left me. I am starting to feel life my life is a mess, like I bring more pain into your life than joy.
I know if you didn't have me then it was gonna be simple for you to go on but I just had to be an extra burden to you adding to your problems. I am sorry I had to be selfish and leave you like this. I don't have much to say. You know I have never been good with words or talking with another person.
Love you always.
Luthando
The second letter read:
Dear Nono
I am sorry I had to leave you, but the pain is unbearable. You know I tried but I can't go on like this. Melusi is the love of my life and what's the point of trying to live without him when I know I cant?. Please take care of mama, please support her like you've been supporting me.
I don't have much to say right now I've never been good with words. Please take care of yourself.
Love
Luthando
I am losing conscious so I think. But I feel a hand on my shoulder I know it's Nono, she saw the poison at the kitchen top. She's screaming for help and asking me not to do this to my mom it will kill her. But my world is slowly becoming darker and fading away. I am dying meaning the pain will be no more. I smile weakly.
Goodbye mama till we meet again.
I open my eyes to see my mom and Nono crying. Oh great that means I didn't die and then I have flashbacks of Nono asking for help.
"Thando" that's my mom she calls me that.
"Mama, I'm sorry" I mumble under my breathe.
"Oh my baby. Sorry for what for catching a stomach bug?" she asks smiling at me.
I quickly look at Nono she shakes her mouthing I didn't tell her
For some I am happy she didn't even though I wanted to die. A nurse walks in and asks to see my mom. As soon as the door closes. Nono slaps me so hard accross the face and then she also walks out. I am so shocked I don't even feel the pain. She must be mad, like really mad. I know what I did was selfish. But none the less I am happy to be alive. But when my thoughts are directed to the reason I am here, I weep so hard that a nurse comes rushing to my side.
"What's wrong?" she asks worried. I just tell her nothing she walks out.
After some Nono comes in takes her phone and leaves even when I call out her name she doesn't look back. 

Chapter 7

 I am walking to Melusi's house, no actually I am running to his house I got a text message from him. It read: We need to talk.
You know even if you know you did nothing wrong, but those words are scary AF.
As soon as I walk in from the gate I see a girl around my age, holding Okuhle and he's screaming like the first time I met him.
"Mama" she smiled walking towards me opening his arms wanting me to hold him. When I bent to take him into my eyes, Melusi told me not to. Well he always complains that I spoil him and he doesn't want a spoilt brat but he usually say that to tease me but today he looked very mad. Okay I am shocked I've never seen him this angry.
Maybe this is Okuhle's mom
But I am brought back to the present situation by Okuhle tugging on my feet wanting me to hold him in my eyes. I didn't know what to do so I looked at Melusi but he shaked his head no. Okay something is going on here.
"Lulu we need to talk, this is Kea, Okuhle's mom she came back yesterday and she is willing to fix things. I'm sorry but I still love her more than I love you, please move on and forget about me and Okuhle. It's for the best. You know I'll never forgive mtself if I denied him the chance of a full family. Thank you so much for helping me raise Okuhle" he said lloking everywhere but not my eyes.
I couldn't stop my myself tears were scrolling down my face. I couldn't even move or think.
"Oh you must Lulu, nice to meet you. Well I'm sorry for coming back and ruining your happy and perfect family but I am Okuhle's mother and you know how it is guys always run back to their baby mamas. My baby needs me" she said faking a smile.
"The baby needs you? How old is Okuhle? Where have you been when the needed you?" I was shouting now.
I was about to go on speak my mind tell this stupid girl that she can't just up and leave and come back when it suits her.
"I need to watch your tone", Melusi said coldly.
Oh God I cannot believe this after everything I did for him this is how he thanks me.
"Watch my tone? Where was she when Okuhle was sick and I had to stay all night with him? Lie to my mom that I was sleeping over at a classmate's house so I can help you with your child after everything we've been through this is how you thank me?" I said shouting and crying.
When I realised that they won't say anything I went on to say what I wanted to say.
"Did he tell you that I had to miss 3 papers. Three papers becuase Your son was sick and he didn't want his dad he wanted to be held by me the only mom he has known since you left her?" I said still shouting but no longer crying.
"I thought we had something special, I thought you were going to marry some day. That's what you promised me" I said shyly.
He laughed like really laughed in my face. I thought I'd die after everything I have been through. Not sleeping with him is the best and wise decision I've ever made. Imagine giving my virginity to this kind of a guy.
The pain I am feeling right now dear Lord can I just die already. First it was my dad now it's Melusi. Maybe that's what I am made for. For people to leave me. 

Chapter 8

 I was brought back to the presence by Melusi weeping. I don't know what to do. Nono won't allow me to try and reach out to him. But I am married after all. I decided to leave early because I didn't have any more clients.
"Guys I need to leave, I'm suddenly not feeling well" I tell them.
I went to my car and drove home but I couldn't help thinking about Okuhle he's now 14 years. And looking at the date my eyes widened. Oh no this is the day I met Okuhle and Melusi 14 years ago. Oh God what a coincident. In no time I was home and I found Mlondolozi in the kitchen wearing my apron cooking my favourite meal, dumbling and beef stew. I thank Melusi everyday for 7 years now. Leaving me was the best thing he has ever done for me.
Looking back Melusi never cooked for me he always refused, he told me he loved me when I said it first. Maybe he was using me so that I can help him raise Melusi. I know it's wrong to compare them but I can't help it at times.
"Hey baby, hmmm this smells delicious" I greet him hugging him from the back.
"Mkami, unjani?" (Wifey, how are you doing) he asks smiling and kissing my forehead.
Dear Lord I love those kisses. I love them more than I love being kissed in the lips.
"Eeh babe you won't believe what happened" I said to him.
"Ooh ooh" he says teasing me.
The way I am forever gosipping he always tells me that I should've done Journalism. Well you know I think Nono should've been a journalist not me.
"Well babe I don't think you'll like this" I say warning him.
"You lost clients" he asks frowning.
"Nope" I say popping the p
"Okay what is it, did you find out you're pregnant" he asks a little happy.
Well ever since I miscarried he said we need to grief first before trying for a baby again.
"No baby" I say not sure if I should continue telling him. Well he has never met Melusi but he hates him more than I do. He raise one brow waiting for me to tell him.
"Melusi was at the office, he's the gardener" I tell him.
"Melusi as in your ex?" he asks shocked.
"Yes babe" I answer.
"Okay he's the gardener?" he asks smiling.
"I'm glad you find this amusing"
"I'd like to meet him and thank him for leaving you, otherwise I wouldn't have met you" he says smiling.
"Babe is it okay if I meet Okuhle, I have been wondering how he has been doing after those years" I say not looking at him.
"It's okay baby, you practically raised the kid, I'd like to meet him too" he says smiling.
Dear Lord what did I do to deserve this kind of a husband. I mean I don't go to Church, I don't pray. I don't even follow all the ten comandments I don't even know any of them.
"Okay let's discuss this over dinner you must be hungry" he says
I set the table. That's one of our unspoken rule. If I cook he sets the table and visa verse.
"This is delicious, I'm so jealous you're a good cook than I am" I say smiling at him.
"No, I'm not you are" he replies.
"You tryna make me feel better, you see why I fell for you". Well that's one of the reason I fell for him. Melusi kinda messed up my self esteem. I keep on expecting Mlondolozi to leave me, especially after I miscarried his baby but he didn't. Instead that made us very close. Sometimes I look at my handsome husband and I say Dear Lord I can never thank you enough for this precious gift.
"What are you smiling about?"
Oh God I didn't notice that I was looking at him and smiling like an idoit.
"Well I'm thinking about the day I first met you" I say smiling at him".
"OMG, don't even go there" he says laughing.
"I'm glad you didn't stop asking me out, even though I was total ass" I tell him smiling.
"It was worth it, I told you remember?" he says still laughing.
Gosh the stuff I said to him when we first met and yet he didn't give up. I'm forever grateful.
"You look tired I'll wash the dishes go to bed, just don't sleep" he says kissing my forehead. I smile like an idoit that I am. I love those kisses more than anything in this world okay not more than I love Nono and Mlondolozi, they are the only family I have. I go to bed amd wait for my husband.
Twenty minutes later he shows up. He hates washing dishes more than anything but here he did becuase I had a shory yet very long day. 'm already yawning a lot so he tells me to sleep. But before he plants kisses all over my face and telling me that he loves me.
I go to sleep and I dream of the day my dad left me and my mom that was 16 years ago, but I usually dream about that day and the day Melusi left me. It annoys me that I don't dream of the day I met Mlondolozi, the day he sent he abakhongi for lobola negotiations, thr day I got married and the day I found out I was pregnant. Those were the best days of my life. I've never seen my mom so happy.
I must've screamed cause Mlondi my husband was shaking me gently telling me that it's okay he'll never leave but didn't they all promise me that and what did they do. Mlondi hates it when I say those stuff but honestly it's not fair on him because it's been 7 years and he's still here supporting me like always.

Chapter 9

"Wake up baby" Mlondi wakes me while planting kisses all over my face.
Well he wakes me up like that everyday.
"I got to go, your lunch is inside the fridge, I love you so much don't ever forget that" he tells me while kissing me in the lips.
"Mxm as if you give space me to even forget, I love you more baby"
"No I love you more" he argues.
He laughs and leave. Dear Lord I wish my mom lived to see how happy I am with my husband.
I wake up take a quick shower, dress in my favourite suit. Navy pants and blazer and a shirt. Today I am not late so I tie my hair in a messy bun. I hate braids I mean I can never understand how most women go through all of that just to look beautiful. No offence but not sleeping peacefully at night because of the pain. No thank you. But I also hate combing my hair gosh. As soon as I am done I make the bed, and hang the wet towels. I go downstairs to take my lunch which is what we ate yesterday my favourite and I take my car keys and leave the house. I drive to work but as soon as I walk in I see him.
Is God punishing me first it was Melusi now him. After 16 years he comes to see me for what? Does he even know that I work here oh no actually does he even know that I own this firm. Can he recognise me even after 16 years. Well my last question is answered as soon as I get off the car.
"Hello mam" he greets me.
Oh God this meeting will be very interesting he doesn't even recognise me. Whatever my mom saw in him. Only God knows.
"Good morning baba, how are you this lovely morning" I ask smiling.
"I am actually good now that I have seen you first before my wife did. I have an appointment I wanted to see you yesterday but your PA said you left early because you weren't feeling well" he tells me.
"Okay no problem I am sorry about that I was actually sick, but I am here now. Well the firm doesn't open until half an hour from now, but we can go in and I don't mind I can start working on your case" I tell him.
He follows me as I unlock the doors. I don't take him to my office, there are so many pictures of my mom and I especially when I was young. I don't want him to know my identity just yet. I take him to one of my employee's office. When we walk in he looks at the pictures and I can see that he can sense that this is not my office. But I don't have to explain to him. I quickly send a text to my employee to tell her that I will be using her office, she replies with "K" how I hate that kind of a reply.
"You can sit on that chair" I say showing him the chair that is opposite from where I am sitting.
He looks around but saying nothing.
"Well I am Alfred Ngwenya, I heard that you are the best when it comes to divorce cases. Well I have been married to this woman for 16 years now and we have kids. Five kids but sometime last month I found out that all her five kids are not mine, so I want a divorce she refuses" he tells.
Serves him right for leaving my mom the woman who loved him more than anything. The woman who made him the man that he was but what did he do when money and fame got in the way. He left his family, but I am not going to help him. He put my mom and I through a lot. My mom worked for 2 families while he stayed at home. The salary she got from one of her employers was used towards opening a little spaza shop so that she cannot depend on her employers her whole life. But after the bustard left her with nothing she had no choice but to depend on them almost all her life. Now he's here asking for my help, he doesn't even recognise his daughter. Gosh whatever my mom saw in him.
"I hear you baba, how did you find out that they are not your kids?" I ask
"Well my mom did say something about them but I thought she didn't like her like she didn't like my first wife..."
I wasn't listening to him anymore. I remember how his mother my mother hated my mother saying umdlisile. Like how? I remember how she kicked us out when my mom went to her when my father left us for another woman. She told us how she hated us. Well guess what? I also hate her you know.
"Mam are you listening?" he asked with respect
Hahaha life will humble you ey. I cannot wait for the day when he finds out that I am the daugter he abondoned.
When I am about to answer, my phones goes beep beep. I smile because I know that my husband is the only person who texts around this time. When I look at my phone.
Hubby: Hey baby I hope you good. Enjoy your day with lots of love from me. When are planning on meeting Okuhle? *kisses all over the face*
I'm grinning like an adiot like I always do when I get a morning text from him. My baby though.
"Is that you husband because I can see the ring on your finger indicating that you're married. How did you guys meet" he asks and from the tone he's interested. And I thought ey why not I love sharing that story.
 

Chapter 10

I am late for class gosh I hate being late,but I overslept these nightmares won't stop my mom has been telling me to pray. I used to go to church 3 times a week and pray 2 times a day but when my dad left us I stopped going to church and praying. Kuyafana God doesn't answer my prayers what's the point. My mom didn't stop going though even when they laughed and gossipped about her situation she never stopped. My mom was a strong woman I guess I didn't take that trait from her. Instead I am a coward like my dear father.
I guess I've been thinking about that and not looking where I was going until I bumped into someone. I was about to insult him even though I know I was wrong but when I looked up. Dear Lord, the guy standing infront of me holding out his hand to help me looked super handsome. He had pitch black hair that was cut short ibrush, big brown eyes and he was wearing spectacles, a beard gosh he's so hairy, thick lips if I liked kissing the lips were gonna be a distraction. He was wearing a long sleeve black t-shirt,a short that showed his perfect legs and a pair of black All Star shoes.
"I am sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going" I tell him akwardly after staring and crushing on him instantly.
"I'll replace your coffee" I go on to say.
"No it's okay you don't have to unless you did that on purpose" he tells me smiling. I also smile back but that smile reminds me of Melusi my mood instantly changes and I begin shouting no actually swearing at him.
"Just because umuhle (you're handome) doesn't mean every girl wants you. I don't you stupid boy" after saying that I notice s group of students looking at us.
But he doesn't say anything instead he says sorry and pick up my books for me, after taking them I run to the lecture hall. I am 10 minutes late, but because I am a bright student and I've been late before the lecturer lets me sit and the lecture continues.
After class I walk to Student Center to buy ice cream hmm my favourite. I'm still thinking about that guy I bumped into, I feel bad I will apologise when I see him that's if I do. With that thought in mind I run into someone else when I look up it's the same guy.
Remember I said I will apologise, I take that back. I mean that was my last R10 and I only had one spoon and here's my ice cream all over the floor. Well I'm exegarating but the cup is empty.
"Are always this clumpsy and stupid or do you need me to slap you" I ask angry.
"Well you're the clumpsy and stupid one, you don't even look where you're going, you run into me and you never apologise, just because I apologised even if I wasn't wrong doesn't mean I'm stupid" he replies angrily.
When I look around all eyes are on me.
"But you are the stupid one vele, you always run into him and shout at him, who do you think you are? You bitch" says one of the guys whom I assume is the friend.
I have never been so embarraseed well I am actually wrong, but since the whole dad and Melusi situation I think I have anger towards guy. This time he doesn't help me up instead he turns to leave.
"You should learn to humble yourself next time, you stupid bitch" he says over his shoulder.
I stand up and walk away people telling me that I am a bitch and stuff like that. Gosh I have never been so embarssed I am saying this for the second time because I mean it. No one has ever called me a bitch before.
This guy looks like a very good guy. I must've really made him mad. Well I will definitely apologise next time I see him no when I run into... Well before I can even fisnish the sentence I run itno someone when I look up it's him.
"Well I think you should marry this girl. She can't run into you 3 times a day, within 5 hurs. Marry her.
"I am Mlondolozi Nxumalo" he smiles at me. I smile back.
"I am Luthando Ngwenya, and I am sorry for being a bitch" I tell quoting him/
"I'm sorry I called you that, I actaully hate calling ladies by that word" he says not looking at me.
"Can I buy you another ice cream?" he asks looking hopeful.
"No, I don't really like it by the way" Where's that coming from? Phela I'm an ice cream addict.
"Liar" he says smiling. "You should've seen your face, when you saw on the floor. You almost killed me" he continued still smiling.
I agreed, and we've been amathe nolimi (very close) since then.
Two years later he asked for my hand in marriage. Well he didn't propose like most guys his age did. He proposed in a traditional way. He sent abakhongi (delegates) for lobola negotiations. Within a year we had 2 wedding ceremonies, white wedding and cultural wedding. He didn't want a white wedding but because I did he made sacrifice. Five years later we still going strong. 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 21.11.2017

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