Preface
Two Sides: The Trauma Left Behind
Anthony Stewart
© 2022 Amazon and Bookrix Publishing All Rights Reserved.
This book is based on real life events that took place during the author's time spent within the furry fandom. Subject matter in this memoir will be sensitive to some readers. sensitive matters such as fursona names and incidents occurring are all true and historically accurate on the writer's behalf.
Chapter One: Where It All Began
I could remember a time when life for me would not be in such a chaotic mess. A time when life felt so innocent and a lot less heart breaking. Growing up with Autism has shown me a lot about myself during the course of the present and it has answered much of what I was going through in the past as a child and up to my teenage and adolescent years. At first the doctors could never fully understand what was wrong with me at the time of growing up in Mississippi, because all they could go by was the ADHD. I never found out about my true diagnosis until I was at least nine-teen years old and finishing up high school with my GED. I never could be understood by others and this incident sadly was no exception at all.
Today was January 6th 2022. The day before things went south with my old friend Shadow Lerawr who before seemed to be a really pleasant human being. We were friends for a long time, at least up to three and a half years. This was back when Furry Broadcasting Network first launched its debut as a radio station. I remember very well back in 2016 when I made plans to volunteer for this radio station and I filled out an application and even remember calling him on skype for the interview back then. We were friends and I recall him being nice to me on my Fur affinity account back then as well. Things seem to have been looking up pretty well up until this incident.
I get home from my regular day job as a restaurant dishwasher and check my twitter feeds. I noticed the tweet from him regarding me as unprofessional and claiming I forced him to sign something that I know in my heart I didn't. I only showed him the paper work primarily for advice on running my station because at the time I felt as a real friend, I could try to help him out since he had asked me. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing by helping a dear friend. Seeing the tweet hurt me alot, I felt really bad and chose to close the station in return for I did not know what else to do after being threatened by so many other furries who had followed him on twitter.
Things went incredibly silent for some time at least a week, before more tweets from Shadow started to pour in about himself being impersonated, and about a fake internet article about something bad happening to me. At the time of this article I was in the emergency room after being struck by a nasty case of Covid-19 and was in there only a week before a friend showed me these tweets on his phone during his televisit to the hospital. I was already sick during this time and this was the very last thing I needed to hear about. During my time in the hospital, I had no access to the internet other than a flip phone I had bought during the time to replace my broken phone. There was sadly no reason to be on it, so I just hugged my bedtime bear for comfort as I cried, and I tried to watch Nick Junior on TV to hopefully forget all about it. I love my Nick Junior shows of the present day as well as old school cartoon network and boomerang from the 90s and early 2000s. This was where I felt my happiest and where I felt at the most, understood in every single way.
Chapter Two: The Internet War
Today is July 6th 2022, and from what I have seen things soon take an even worse tool on Shadow Lerawr, as former friends of his soon turn on him unexpectedly. These people turned on him after a young lady by the name of Sparkles, stood out for those who were wronged by this guy. Sparkles at the time seemed to treat me well and understand what I was going through and in a way had encouraged me to begin a group chat that I felt would benefit everyone at the time. I was hoping it would be a safe place for everyone to come together and safely talk about it.
Word initially got out that Shadow not only got fired from megaplex because of sexually touching people, but more people soon got stuck in his ring of harassment. Lunar Hollow, AlexDeathwolf, and many others. I was deeply hurt by what they were experiencing as I still am today. Shadow turned on his own convention staff after getting himself laid to waste by heavy drinking after getting himself fired from the convention staff at Megaplex. It basically showed me the monster within Shadow Lerawr and how far he is willing to go to hurt others especially to get what he wants.
It was not long after in early August that we all decided to start building a document of evidence against Shadow Lerawr and my new friends at the time decided to play his little game and spy to get information for this document. The document contains information from more victims than myself. This evidence ranges from discord chats in his vent chat as well his twitter accounts. More evidence also came in about my impersonation through him on Telegram X showing he has ties to The Furry Raiders, and Furry Valley, as well as him trying to make me look bad to popufurs such as Odin Wolf.
The fighting raged on for at least nine months. and words could not describe how I was feeling. Later on I was soon to find out that this trust was soon to be all but fake news. It wasn't but a few weeks after in September when things really got worse. I had found myself thrown in again through another round of impersonation attacks from shadow after he had hired someone to work alongside him to tarnish my very tiny reputation even further.
Word had got sent over to me by Hallow about another account that resembled my own main twitter account that had given out private information on Shadow Lerawr which included this person's address. little did i even know about the incident other than I had to henceforth close out the group chat to protect everyone with plans to rebuild the chat the next day as it was very late, oblivious to the fact that I had overslept and everyone that was in there decided to go rogue and accuse me of giving out this information all because the group chat had disappeared. This was at least a week after hearing about Sparkles giving intercorse to Stormi, a popufur who attended Megaplex in the fandom where in my eyes, it was seen as a disgusting attempt to butter her up for this document against Shadow Lerawr. A way to build that type of leverage against him.
I felt betrayed by those who I had seemed to actually build a trusting for. And it was not a very good feeling. I had trusted them mainly because we had all gone through the same problem with the same person. At the time we had something to relate to and to me that was a connection made nonetheless. In my own mind when I relate to someone, especially in this particular fandom, You can't help but try to make good friends with them and work for their trust. At least, this was the hope.
Chapter Three: Where It All Ends
After a long and agonizing ten months of mental torture, I decided it was time for a break from the furry fandom to allow the issues to die down. I began my life anew after my recovery and looked at starting over by building a Sly Cooper fan site online. I felt it could allow me to give myself a second chance that is long deserved. I gave up the name Lucky Elephant in exchange for Leoskor the Liger or Leo for short. Hopefully, this can allow me the closure I need to start over and actually be allowed to enjoy myself. Something I sadly was deprived of by the listed individuals.
The moral of the story goes like this, Furries in the fandom no matter what aren't to be trusted. whether good or bad. Treat the fandom simply as a business, personal relationships do not exist nor will they ever exist. The best way to survive the wrath of communism and radicalism is to simply let your good vibes roll on and just escape to your favorite place. If you don't have one then build one for yourself.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.10.2022
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