Short ver.

Narrator is a teenaged girl with a bad temper who thinks very highly of herself.

 

Listen, it was my fault. I thought I was an adult, okay? I… I took things too far. She pauses as she listens to an unseen character Alright, alright. Just hear me out, okay? I’ll tell you the whole story.

 

We weren’t the cool kids. Probably not losers, but definitely not well-liked. Outcasts, in a way. Ryan, yeah, he was a genius. Total nerd. Total smartass. He got on my nerves, but we still got along pretty well. Serena, on the other hand, was a complete airhead. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. Regardless, she was sweet. My best friend, without a doubt. I suppose the only reason I’m an outcast is because most kids act as if they're afraid of me or something. I don’t really get it. Well… The first major incident was in seventh grade. This girl, Lindsay Parks, really got on my nerves. One day, she pushed me too far. So, I handled it in the best way I could think of. I grabbed a handful of her dyed blonde hair and smashed her head into the nearest locker. One more hit to her jaw and she was on the floor. I didn’t mind being in trouble. Even then, I was used to it. But the real bad part was that I did that in a busy hallway. Like, everyone saw. So people started to avoid me. Incidents in the future didn’t help my reputation. I've been suspended a few times and I swear I spend more time with the principal than with my own mother. Not that I regret any of that. In all honesty, I chased the rush of a good fight. *intro here

Anyway, Serena, Ryan, and I all have had our personal reputations for a while now. Serena's the ditzy girl who can't get her grades together. Ryan's the nerdy kid who began to resent others after a lifetime of being bullied. And I'm… you've probably figured that out. I'm the bad kid.

I thought I was content with that. I really did.

It was only slightly more than a week ago that I was just sitting in my room, messing around on my computer. But then I heard my mom walk in the front door. So, she just bursts into my room and immediately I could tell she was livid. Like, I could actually see a vein about to burst from her forehead. Yeah, turns out the school called her about my grades… and the classes I’d been skipping… and that one girl who, um, ‘hit her head’ on the water fountain.

She was done with me. With the way I acted. With who I was. I was never a sensitive person, but the things she said got to me. The second she slammed my door shut, it all came out. I don't cry. But that night, I did.

I realized how frustrated I was. I wanted to get away. To get away from the reputation I had built for myself. I called Ryan and Serena… I found out they had similar feelings. They wanted to get away as well. To our luck, my mom left for some stress relief that was found at the bottom of a bottle.

We had made our plan, and within two hours, we were on our way to the nearest bus stop. Ryan and I were ecstatic. Serena, however, was really anxious. She kept saying she wanted to go back home, even after we were on the bus. Ryan and I, like usual, ignored her. We had always looked down on her… We really should've listened to her.

By the time we reached the city, the sun had risen.

At that moment, after we had gotten out of the bus, I fully comprehended what I’d done. For the first time in our lives, we were completely alone. We had full control over all of our decisions. We were truly independent. And I loved it.

We spent excessive amounts of money and we had fun. We led our lives how we pleased that day. All three of us were content, no worries whatsoever. That night, we checked into a pretty cheap hotel. It wasn’t that bad, though. Serena was asleep before her head even hit the pillow, but Ryan and I didn’t sleep at all. We were high on power. We were adults, right?

So, that morning, Serena had her heart set on going to this one cafe she read about online. We had no idea where we were going, nor did Ryan and I really care about some stupid cafe, so we just humored Serena and let her lead us around the city. Let her feel important, y’know?

We were walking down a sidewalk by some busy street, and this red haired girl just jumped in front of us, asking if we were lost. Before I could tell that girl to get lost, Serena said yes. I didn’t want to be mean to Serena, so I agreed to let that girl help us.

So, that red-headed girl introduced herself as Fox. At that point, Ryan was super suspicious. He kept muttering passive aggressive comments under his breath, even after I told him to shut up. He was just really on edge.

Instead of the cafe or whatever, we just hung out with Fox the whole day, even though Ryan clearly didn’t like her. I got along great with her. We just related, y’know? So, it was getting late, and Fox mentioned that it was a long walk back home for her, and that the streets were dangerous at night. So, I asked her to stay the night with us, like a sleepover.

I had trouble sleeping that night. I just couldn't stop thinking. This was my chance. My chance to restart my life. To leave behind my reputation. Because I was tired of being the bad kid, of always getting those judging glances from other kids. In my new life, people wouldn't look at me because I messed up. They'd look at me because I did something right. I did fall asleep eventually, though. My dreams were sweet, however the reality I awoke to was bitter.

When I woke up, Fox was gone. Along with her, all of our things vanished as well. I roused Ryan and Serena out of their sleep, asking if they knew what was going on. They didn’t, but I did. That red-haired snake… my one chance, gone! Our money, clothes, phones, and my chance! She took them all! Ryan and Serena blamed me. I invited a stranger to stay the night with us, we’re lucky to have not been murdered (laughs) Yeah, they didn’t say anything either, those hypocrites.

But I wasn’t ready to just let my chance go. I was boiling. I went down to the front desk, and the woman was even able to point me in the direction the red haired girl went. She only left ten minutes before I did. I left Serena and Ryan behind. It didn’t take long for me to realize that idiot was going back to the street we first met her at.

I ran as fast as I could. I’m no athlete, but fueled by that powerful adrenaline, I could run pretty fast. And thanks to her leisurely pace, I caught up to that red-haired snake pretty fast. Just as I thought, she had our bags. How arrogant… thinking I wouldn’t find her.

When I got close enough, I grabbed her by the back of her shirt and threw her against the nearest building. She seemed surprised, but she surprised me more when I found myself on the ground, holding my face. Hah… should’ve known she’d be my match.

I didn’t even realize Serena and Ryan had followed me until I heard Serena yelling at me through the sound of traffic. She yelled at me to cut it out after I took a swing at the red-haired girl. Serena yelled that it wasn’t worth it. That I was going to get seriously hurt. That this wasn’t a fight I could win. You were wrong about that, Serena. I did win that fight. Just not how I thought I would.

We both got some pretty good hits in. I could barely see out of my left eye. The girl was getting tired, and I saw my opening to finish this. My hands out, I went for her throat. But someone stepped between us. Serena. I was blinded by rage. I couldn’t even think straight. Like always, my temper got the best of me. No one was going to get in my way. Not even my best friend.

With one hand, I grabbed a fistful of her soft brown hair, and the other got a tight grip on her shoulder. And I threw her aside, one last time. (choked) She’d sat up… and looked me straight in the eyes. Her lips were parted, as if she was getting ready to say something. Those words never left her mouth. A little bit of blood did after the car struck her.

Before that day, red was my favorite color. It was just so powerful. It’s not powerful at all, splattered across the pavement… it’s just sickening.

That day, I had hoped to begin to erase my reputation as the bad kid who couldn’t do anything right. All I did was cement my place as the bad person. I don’t want to be a bad kid, I don’t want to be a bad person! But that’s what I am. You need me to say it? I killed her. I killed my best friend. I murdered Serena. (laughs) Look at me now! Guess I really have grown up. Guess I really am a bad person.

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.11.2017

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