What does "Too Much Love" mean?

Too Much Love

 

There’s such a thing as having too much love for someone. It’s a love turned rotten by a desire to please and hopeless hope to receive back what is given. It’s a fruitless tree being watered. So why does it happen? Because there are people who hold too much love.

 

 

 

 

Now this family doesn’t find any gratification in the investment they had for five years begged, cursed, and declared they rightfully deserved. The girl who loved them too much had paid the price for their happiness. Christ was all she had, but she loved everyone despite what they did to her. It was too much love for the wrong thing that cost this girl’s family their only daughter who could never have been bought.

My Name Is...

Her name isn’t what’s important; it’s her story that is. Pudgy, achene swabbed, and wiry glasses, she had no confidence in herself image when the family first moved. She indulged in the gossip and trash talk of the pretty but always maintained being a kind girl when not around the corruption of mirrors. Her grades are what she devoted her pride to, wanting her parents to think well of her despite the situation her family was in. All she wanted to be was their sunshine.

Who am I...??

When she overheard how excited her family was about her new diet and PE, she decided to try to become the skinny, fashionable daughter they imagined her up to be. She lost the glasses, weight, and bunchy clothes. No longer was she herself, but she was who she thought her parents thought she was. It made her feel good to be praised for her new beauty, but still wasn’t the sunshine she hoped to be for her mother and father.

Perfection In Progress!??

Her decision became to work harder to score higher grades, be the beauty of the school, and be the perfect daughter. She wanted her parents to think that they did one thing right. But their fights were getting louder, more frequent. Her brother hide from the rest of family locked up in his own little world leaving his sister to smooth things over after the scream fest was done. Every now and then he would venture to spend time with her, but his interest came first. His sister was okay with it, at the time. She would cover for him so that he wouldn’t feel awkward or obligated to say something that would splinter the family farther.

Big Happy Family!

So she always made sure she was smiling. When her mother comes home from her work she would be there to greet her and tell her about her day. She was trying hard to make her parents forget their troubles. She didn’t like it when they brought home their problems. Her mother would always say a variation of how sick she is of her boss, the patients, and other co-workers. Her father was working whenever she was home and the rest of the time he was sleeping from exhaustion. The grandmother on her mother’s side treated this girl like a five-year-old even though she was in middle school. She managed to smile even though her mother would go off on a rage rant or her father would spit out some spiteful comment or her grandmother would mistake her for someone else.

Or Maybe Not.......

But what she wasn’t ready for was for her capacity of ignorance to shatter. It happened one day that this girl could have sworn was her best day ever. She heard her mother bargaining in through the door and skipped over to meet her. Her day had gone so well that it was a sharp slap in the face when her mother brushed passed and said, “I just want to take a gun to my face and blow my brain out.”

Questions In the Air

How was this little girl supposed to react to that? Did her mother really think that it was appropriate to say something like that in front of a seventh grader? Why did this woman dump all her problems on her innocent baby girl?

Heart Break - Unnoticed!

The girl didn’t respond. She waited until she was in the tub with the jets rushing, with no-one around or listening before breaking down. For two hours she cried until her eyes no longer moist but itchy. When she came out not one person noticed that she had bawled her heart out.

Sleepless Night

Her strength had all gone to crying so she went bed early. Fresh tears leaked out for a bit before all that her body could do was heave heavy breathes. When her brother came in to their shared bedroom he thought nothing of her strange breathing and went to sleep.

Life of Unending Circles

It kept happening. Every night she would cry herself to sleep because she was honestly terrified that she would wake up to see her mother being carried out in a body bag, that her father would get up and leave because he hated this side of the family, that her brother would shut her out for good, and that all she’d be left with was a grandmother who could not even identify her granddaughter correctly. This went on for four years.

Stranger's Love

Night after night, this girl soaked her pillow with tears. She wanted someone, anyone to say that she was enough to live for. During her last weeks of freshmen year, this girl got a book full of love letters. She read through all of them. This time she cried in thankfulness to the man who wrote them.

God's Not Dead!

It spurred on a Crusade within this girl to get to know this man better. But again, her brittle heart was crushed. This time it was her dad who said her childhood was a lie, that there was no God, no everlasting peace, and no-one who would love her for all that she was. She didn’t react.

Who Is This Mystery Man? (Could it be the I AM?)

Instead she waited for him to leave before she isolated herself on the back porch. There she sobbed holding onto her Bible as a life saver. The guy who had landed the book of love letters in her hands showed up. He was the only one to say it was okay to cry. He would love her enough for her whole family.

Getting Better...

Together was when this girl really felt like she was loved. She became accustomed to the fights her family members had. Sometimes it even seemed as if things were getting better. But her parents were still harshly blaming and complaining about their money problems to really care about what their daughter was now doing.

Built-Up Secrets

A year after meeting the man this girl fell in love with him as her circumstances became worse. She loved her family too much to ever speak out in a fight or inquire advice from an outsider. There were plenty of times and plenty of people she could have told. Her best friend, her favorite English teacher, or even her brother. But this girl viewed her mother as one from a high society who’s too sophisticated to admit that she was living “below” her means. She saw her father as this constant working machine simply wanted to eat, sleep, and work. Neither of them wanted anyone else to know their financial situation.

Pushing God Away

The pressure was building on this girl to be stylish, top in her grade, and not to ever put her faith in anyone but herself. Her parents denied her contact with the man she loved in their presence which was becoming more recurrent. They didn’t want anything to do with this guy.

Careful What You Wish For......

And it broke this girl’s heart. All she could hear was how her parents’ investment wasn’t coming in, how poor they were, and how God screwed them over. This girl became so desperate in wanting their complaints to stop, in wanting them to just say that she was enough reason to do what they’re doing. She asked her father what he would give for their money to come in. His answer was, “Anything, I’d give anything to get out of this hell.”

Sacrifice For Their Happiness

The next day their money came in, but their daughter left. A car came around the corner too fast and hit the girl as she was running in the morning. Her parents didn’t find out until after the hospital identified her and called, they were too busy celebrating the “good” news.

Wish Granted

Her family found out, after accidentally spying a passage in a journal, that the night before she wrote a love letter to the man she loved that predicted this event. Written down in a simple sentence was, “Dear Jesus, Please give my family what they seek, they said they’d give anything to have it, I don’t need the money to be content, just the love You’ve given me, but I can’t deal with their fights, their arguments anymore, at the very least please give me a sense of eternal peace.”

Priceless Love

Now this family doesn’t find any gratification in the investment they had for five years begged, cursed, and declared they rightfully deserved. The girl who loved them too much had paid the price for their happiness. Christ was all she had, but she loved everyone despite what they did to her. It was too much love for the wrong thing that cost this girl’s family their only daughter who could never have been bought.

A Note From a Friend

Dear readers,

 

I wish I had written this story, but I didn't, my best friend in the whole wide world wrote this story. She wrote it at the time when her family was in the valley of the shadow. She didn't die physically, but a part of her soul died that day her mom told her that she wished she was dead. Well, she is better now and her family is going to church every Sunday. She still has struggles along the way, but I make sure she doesn't fall but lean on me and our loving Father above! 

 

I know this is not the expected happy ending, but that is what I hope all my readers understand, there is no happy ending in real life. But there is always God! 

 

Thank you for reading,

Anastasia

 

PS- please write back and ask for more of her books, or my own.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 15.08.2014

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This is dedicated to my best friend and my readers who have similar thoughts or life.