There is no “ Personal Journey” possible without conflict

W a r n i n g   ‘ N o t    -    E d i t e d ‘ 

 

 

 

 

              Abigail Williams:  * Point Of View *

 

 

      

 

The brisk November air sent shivers down my arms as it seemed to wrap itself around me, hugging me close. Not wanting to let me go. 

 

I stared out into  the ocean. Rolling gray clouds drifted by in the wind, and blades of grass swayed with hints of frost at the tips. I stood on the edge of the cliff, looking down and seeing everything.

 

Waves pounded and threw themselves against the jagged rocks at the bottom. The sound was something I would never forget. It was a soundscape that would go on forever.

 

I felt half awake and half asleep, the in-between twinkling of my imagination, where any dreams was possible.

 

I felt lost, perplexed and confused and seeing my self in a sea full of people but I stilled felt all alone.

 

I felt something wet on my face, reaching out to touch it, sent tremble threw out my whole body, it was my own tears. No one understood the pain and the torture that I was hidden deep with in. 

 

I do once remember a time. When there were no evil that twisted our land. When darkness never descent the land in its form of strange shadows.

 

When people didn’t struggle, to survive and still had hope against hope that their land can be saved. When neighbors never went to war. When neighbors never accused neighbors of lying, cheating, Stealing nor murder. 

 

I do once remember a time. When I was a loved infant child. With a mother and father that would give me the world, in a heart beat.

 

When I used to play in the long thick moist green grass that moved along with the march spring weather. When the warm sun, shined down on me and as my cold wet foot breathed within the grass,  bring out my wildness imagination.

 

 

I would  had never expected to have a broken shattered heart at that age. I never would have expected  anyone to bring me back to the past. To when I was just an innocent infant child, with no care in the world.

 

But back to them three words, that brought back the terrible nightmares; That pulled me back under the endless sea, sufficing me in the darkness, where no one could hear me cry.

 

Back to the them three words that was said by someone that I would had never expected to. By from my dearest family that surmised against me.

 

They didn’t care. As long as their were getting something out of it. Them three words.That was written and inscribe on paper that was founded in the bottom of the sea, in my hand; resting on my chest peacefully. 

 

Them three words that  had weaken my heart.

 

Them three words that was  said by my dearest family.

 

Them three words that had pulled me under the endless sea for years; A pond years. 

 

 

Looking  up at the gray sky that seem to apprehend what I was feeling. Drops of ice cold water started fulling down from heaven above, believing it was crying out for me, knowing that I couldn’t take the lament anymore.

 

I looked down at the bottom of the ocean at the people that I once knew and called family.  

 

 

Many People far and long, has all ways run past me and asked what must have happen to such an innocent infant child for her to end up so degenerate or why she had chosen to live such a sinful life.

 

Why she was so vengeful, selfish, manipulative, and a magnificent liar.

 

Why she has affairs with marry men, that was old enough to be her father and to answer them question truthfully, is’ fairly Clear. Don’t really know or understand my actions. Maybe I can’t stand seeing a happy homes, When I once knew it was taken away from me.

 

Maybe I just want to experience the Joy, affection and loved that I once knowledge. I don’t really know. 

 

But what I do know. Is that it’s human nature to judge, speak such hush words to one another and to be so heartless and so inconsiderate. It’s human nature not to pay no any attention to  the children that are being abused be hide closed doors and rob of their innocents.

 

I’m not writing to get your Sympathy nor your empathy.

 

I’m just writing to get you to understand that life is not all ways rich nor beautiful as it seems.

 

But the struggles that you may face, would all ways affect’s or determent your destiny.

 

Someone once said to me the best thing in life is change, I once believe that, but standing here as a seventeen year old on an edge of a cliff.

 

I Finely realizes that that believe died a long time ago and was replaced with all negative emotions and thoughts. 

 

 

   

 

                                                      * THE END *

 

 

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.06.2014

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