Childhood Friends and Nothing More

Prologue

                “Give me back my toy,” the small four year old girl ordered as she stood in front of the small boy her age. She pouted her small lips, and folded her arms over her chest in anger, her hazel eyes sending fuming glares at the boy.

                “Nope,” the little boy declared, he gave her a sheepish grin his cheeks flushed as he raised the doll to the sky.

                “Josh! Give it back! She is my doll not yours!” The little girl fumed, her arms reaching up to try and get her precious Barbie doll back from the boy. Her short hair swayed along with the summer breeze as she struggled to rise on her tippy-toes.

                The boy laughed at the girl’s exasperated face, and lifted the doll higher so she wouldn’t reach it. The girl stretched her fingers high but to no avail she could not reach the doll. The little girl decided to stop, and looked at the boy with a tearful look.

                He noticed the way her precious eyes became to water just like when his mom cried every time she was watching those cheesy movies, and he felt a weird stinging pain in his chest at the thought of seeing Emily cry. So he just shoved the doll into Emily’s arms, adverting his gaze away from her.

                “There, now don’t cry,” he demanded his tone laced with seriousness as his frown deepened. “I don’t like it when girls cry,” he mumbled lowly.

                “You idiot! If you ever get my doll again I’ll make sure to cry really hard!” Emily exclaimed as she brought her empty hand to her eyes and wiped away a few stray tears.

                “Fine I promise not to do it again,” he grumbled angrily shaking his head at the bipolar girl he actually had as a friend.

                “I don’t trust you,” she replied with furrowed eyebrows.

                “Fine, let’s pinky promise then,” he suggested taking out his pinky and intertwining it with hers. “I promise not to steal anymore of Emily’s dolls. Happy?”

                “A bit,” she grumbled a small smile tugging on her lips.

Bittersweet Friendship

There I was standing in the pouring rain my eyes spilling out tears of pain as I stared at the love of my life kissing another girl. There was a sharp pain stinging my poor heart. My clothes were already soaked to the skin, and my hair sticking to my neck and face irritably.

            I tried to force myself to look away from them, but my body was frozen in place, my eyes trained on the familiar figure of my best friend since childhood. The guy I have known ever since I was a kid, the guy that was always there for me, and the guy I have always loved since I can remember.

            It was kind of sad for me to just stand there under the wild storm watching as Josh kissed another girl, it almost seemed as if though destiny was punishing me with this unbearable scene. But yet I had the choice to leave and walk away, but I just couldn’t.

            I brought the back of my hand to my bloodshot eyes and tried to wipe away the tears that I had shed after watching Josh and his new sex-toy.

            I wanted to laugh at my stupidity, but all I could do was just stand there like a deer in the headlights. After all what did I expect? For my childhood friend to finally realize his undying love for me, and kiss me happily ever after?

            “Moron,” I mumbeld.  I turned on my heels and started to walk toward the school gates.  Josh was supposed to drive me home today, just like every day. But I guess he forgot, because now I’m left with walking my way home under this rain.

            The walk to my house wasn’t that long, it usually took me a few ten minutes to reach home sweet home on foot. And I admit the rain had slowed me down, but at least I had gotten home.  I’ll probably get a cold for it, but I doubt Josh would have driven me home.

            I took off my shoes and set them next to the door, my parents were gone for the week and since I’m finally at the age where I don’t need adult supervision I get to stay alone in the overwhelmingly house. I would have jumped up in joy at being alone, but I was a little heartbroken right now from the scene a few minutes ago.

            I headed to my room on the second floor and fell with my clothes still dripping wet on the soft bed, my eyes staring at the ceiling as if it was actually interesting.

            “Get over him!” I screamed at myself trying to get the image of him out of my mind, but I just couldn’t his face was burned into my mind I just couldn’t forget him. No matter how much I tried.

            I have known Josh since childhood and he just means the world to me, even though I had to live with the agonizing pain of watching him play around with different girls in front of me. Yeah it all began this freshmen year when he discovered his ‘sexiness’ and was frequently pounced from girls all around him. He changed completely from the Josh I knew to an ‘Arrogant Jerk who always had his way’.

            He even had the nerve to one day push me against my bed and then try to kiss me; I admit I was so happy and excited at the thought of him actually kissing me. I was all like, “Yes finally he has realized his feelings for me!”

            But then I had remembered his little episode that day in the restroom where he was making out with some chick from senior year in the stalls, the sight had almost made me puke out all my breakfast into the floor but instead I had walked away with a pained expression.

            I had refused to be kissed by him after remembering where those lips were, and had forcefully got out of the room and ignored him for a whole three weeks which he kept on trying to get my attention and had profoundly apologized to me. And I being so stupid had forgave him.

            But after that he had become more distant and completely different, he seemed like a star to me now. The only reason we even talk is because we live close to each other and somehow still need each other.

            “Emily! Hey are you here!” A voice boomed from downstairs instantly making me sit up from my bed. What was he doing here now?

            “Josh, don’t you dare come over here! I’m taking a shower!” I shouted as I began to take off all my clothing and ran to the restroom in my room closing the door behind me.  I hurriedly turned on the faucet and cold water fell on me. I cursed at the temperature and set it to a hotter temperature, enjoying the feel of the warm water hitting me making my body relax and flush in contempt.

            There was a loud bang on the door, and I turned to the locked door hoping he wouldn’t come in here and see me completely naked. That would be more embarrassing than him finding me soaked to the skin with obvious tearful eyes.

            “Emily you in here?” He asked from the other side of the door.

            “Yeah, I’m taking a shower,” I answered quickly washing away all the dirt from today off my body. Damn I’m such a mess!

            “Oh, okay well I’ll just wait here,” he said aloud and I could hear him as he sat down on my mattress.

            “Okay,” I said calmly but I was far from it, because this was really weird of him. Wasn’t he supposed to be with other girl that I saw him kissing at school? What was he doing here?

            Thunder roared from outside, the rain falling harder on the roof. The lights in the restroom began to dim and I was afraid the power would let out and I would be in complete darkness. And that is a big no-no for me, because I am a little bit afraid of the dark. Just a little.

            Wrapping the towel securely around my body, I opened the door just a bit so my head could stick out. My eyes instantly met Josh’s bright emerald eyes that seemed to make my heart accelerate. His body was seated comfortably on the bed.

            “Josh cover your eyes and don’t look or I will beat the living crap out of your balls so you won’t reproduce,” I warned giving him my serious look.

            “Well hello to you to,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

            “I’m serious Josh, cover your eyes,” I growled out menacingly.

            “Okay, okay woman,” he said as he covered his eyes with his hands and turned around so he was facing the wall. I took my chance and sped for my drawer pulling out some clothes. And quickly putting them on in what seemed like seconds.

            “Done?” He asked uncertain.

            “Done,” I answered as I picked up the towel and put it in my basket near the one nightstand, I got my hairbrush and began to brush my wild dark hair. “So what brings you here?”

            Josh turned around and let out a sigh of relief, he made himself more comfortable on the bed and closed his eyes.  “I just came to check to see if you came home, you weren’t anywhere in school,” he replied to my dismay. “So who drove you home?”

            “I…uh-had Mimi drive me home,” I lied as I sat beside him and got the remote control, turning on the television and changing the channel into something amusing. “Nice rain we are having today, right?”

            “You hate rain,” he pointed out with a chuckle. His eyelids fluttered open and he sat up taking me into his arms, my back against his chest and his arms around me. His hot breath fanning my neck from behind, I suddenly felt more nervous. This wasn’t weird we always did this, but as always I was the only one left with a trembling heart and awkward stiff pose.

            “So when are your parents coming home?”  Josh asked as he got the control from my hands and changed the channel to sports. “Did they really leave you all alone again?”

            I felt my smile falter and shook my head; I knew what he really wanted to ask me. But he was such an idiot that there was no way I would avoid a topic related to her. “They told me Amelia will be checking up on me, so it’s okay to be alone for a few hours,” I replied feeling his arms stiffen at the mention of my older sister.

            Actually there is a reason that Josh became a player that teases other girls, and that is because of his rejection from my older sister. Unlike me my sister is a natural beauty, with brains, and has this personality that instantly makes you like her. I’m surprised that Amelia still regards him as just the boy next door that I secretly have a crush on.

            “Is that so?” He muttered lowly with a pained smile, he changed his position and got off the bed. I watched as he put on his shoes and was prepared to leave before Amelia came. But I did the unthinkable; me the stupid, heartbroken, idiot grabbed the hem of his shirt and deepened my frown.

            “Where do you think you are going?” I demanded giving him a narrowed glare. I know that he was still getting over the fact that the girl he loved didn’t return his feelings, but seriously it was a childish thing to run away from it.

            “I’m going…” he paused and then hesitated before saying, “what does that have to do with you?”

            “Is it because of Amelia? Are you that much of a coward?” I laughed inside my mind at the sentence, since I’m too scared to tell him my feelings. Who am I too judge when I can’t even confess my feelings for him?

            The room was left in silence and he just stared at me with a perplexed expression. “You don’t know what it feels like to like someone, Emily,” he whispered before shrugging me off with a simple shake.

            I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened my mouth slightly and shouted, “I do!”

            He raised his eyebrow at me, his lips forming a thin line. “Are you saying there is someone you actually like?” He said this with an enraged tone that made my heart skip. “Then tell me who this person is right now,” he insisted looking down at me, his hand taking a hold of my arm.

            “That…that is none of your business,” I stuttered feeling my face blush at the closeness between our faces. I know I shouldn’t raise my hopes up but how should I act when he got mad at the mention I liked someone else?

            “Emily! Your beloved sister is here!” Amelia exclaimed from downstairs, the sound of her footsteps echoed as she got closer to my room.

            Josh’s face became flustered and he took a step away from me, letting my hand go in the process. When Amelia entered she was wearing a charming smile on her face as she charged toward me and smothered me in kisses and hugs. “I missed you so much!”

            “Amelia!” I whined in embarrassment, I felt like if she was suffocating me with her huge chest. “I miss you too, but can you loosen your hold on me?”

            “Oh sure thing,” she smiled brightly; it was like my room was suddenly illuminated by the sun. I never got used to the fact that she was too cheerful and positive.  “I came to check up on you and make sure Josh isn’t doing anything lewd,” she winked and smirked at both of us.

            “As if! Who would kiss a Player like him?” I complained with disgust feeling his eyes drill a hole at my head. “I could say the same about you! Who would want to kiss a pathetic, clumsy, stupid, dense girl like you?” He shot back with a devious twinkle burning in his eyes.

            “What was that?” I gritted my teeth and smacked him right across the head. “Who are you calling stupid! Says the one who didn’t pass his midterm exams!”

            “I’m so jealous both of you make the cutest couple,” Amelia giggled and once again I regret confining to her about my crush on Josh. It was easy to see that I like him, but he is too dense to even acknowledge me as a girl.  

            “There is no way there is something between us,” Josh immediately denied, as to I felt that stab near my heart once again. “We are friends and that is it,” he stated looking straight at her eyes.

            I guess it is futile to think there was really something going on between us; I’m the only one that feels the pounding of my heart and the nervousness whenever we are alone. “Josh,” I smiled kindly and he shivered in fright.

            “What?” He took a step back and waited for me to explode.

            “Get out of my room you Idiot!” I hollered in annoyance.

            “Fine then no need to scream you monkey,” he stuck out his tongue before leaving. I waited to hear the front door close before I fell back on the bed and let out a tired sigh.

            Amelia shook her head and mumbled something quietly before patting my head and smiling in reassurance. “Don’t worry that kid just needs to clear his thoughts before he realizes his real feelings,” she smiled and sat down beside me.

            “Yeah right, there is no way he likes me, Big Sis,” I said in dejection, feeling my heart weaken as I remembered all the times he kissed another girl. There is no way he could gaze at me the way he does when he looks at Amelia…no way.

Stay Still my Beating Heart

 

You know, sometimes I wonder if Josh has ever considered me as anything more than a childhood friend. But honestly my silly fantasies know their limit, and reality always comes to knock on my door of thoughts.

            Since elementary we have been bind together by fate and we saw each other as siblings, we were each other’s soul mate. Sure we fought and always managed to start an argument, nonetheless we ended up making up at the end of the day.

            Our relationship was sweet and honest; along the lines of puberty during middle school I and Josh became awkward. It wasn’t nice to open my mind to the possibility of becoming a woman and Josh a man. Such a thing seemed odd, why did we need to grow up?

            This is where our friendship got bumpy; I stumbled upon adolescents my age gossiping about being in a relationship. Unlike the relationship between Josh and me, this relationship everyone was ecstatic about was about love.

            Of course by now I opened my heart to the childhood friend of mine who had recently grew taller than me, and could easily carry me like a princess. My eyes suddenly seemed opened to the minor details on his handsome face structure, and his personality…which since a year ago annoyed me into a rage. Josh was growing up, and I could not stop my beating heart.

            That was the beginning of my unrequited love and even now when I admire him from a far, the reaction is still the same as before. Unfortunately my love for him will always make me suffer inside; I hope that I could get over him…

            I shook my head and walked over to my window to let the light shimmer inside; when I opened my curtains I wasn’t surprised to see Josh a few meters away in his own room changing clothes. He always shows those defined abs he worked from playing soccer, every single morning I am exposed to the sight of him half-naked.

            Not that I mind, you know a free glimpse at my crush’s body figure. Especially when he is so well built and has a nice frame, and the way the sun kisses his skin from his position…

            Josh turned and caught my dazed gazed, the corner of his mouth tugged upward into a keen smirk. He waved hello from his window and I felt my face stiffen, eyebrows furrow, and lips set in a thin line of distaste.

            “Hmph!” I huffed in irritation and with both hands tightly holding the curtains closed them, and put my back against the window. I felt my legs give under me and I let out a long sigh of adoration, he was so dashing.

            “Ugh! No get over him already!” I scolded myself, but it was no use because my cheeks were blushing. I cupped my face with my palms and wondered why it was so hard to let go of a guy who will never see me as more than a childhood friend.

            “Emily hurry up young lady, I need to drop you off at school today,” Amelia told me as she waltzed right in with her business suit attire, her hair was held up by an elegant bun of braids. She took one glance at me and raised a perfect eyebrow, “What happened? Did something happen Emily?”

            Her question hanged in the air as the imprinted image of Josh without his shirt began to diminish in my mind. “Oh, yeah I’m perfectly fine. No need to worry about me, Amelia,” I stood up and went to retrieve my backpack that was on the bed.

            She didn’t look convinced I could see as she gave me one more curious look and went downstairs. I followed to get to a certain location called hell, also known as High School. My sister was lucky to have already graduated from that inferno carven of torture.

~☼~               

            “Good morning Emily,” Velma waved with her free hand, her long dark hair at the nape of her neck as a fish tail. Her mocha chocolate skin was glowing as she smiled brightly at the sight of me. I went over to her and hugged her tightly, she did the same and we giggled as we leaned away.

            “Hey, Velma. You ready for the Biology Quiz today?” I barely had a chance to study, since Amelia kept on bugging me last night about my first week in high school as a freshman. Velma unlike me loved coming to school and being an above average Pre-AP student, I would too if there was more people like her.

            But most of the school population contained assholes and kids who enjoy skipping class; I’m satisfied as long as Josh and Velma are here in campus. “Yeah, I studied the vocabulary she gave us yesterday and reviewed the PowerPoint we covered,” Velma nodded as she leaned her back against the harlequin green locker. 

            “Me too, I hope the questions are easy,” I swallowed nervously, hugging my Algebra book with stress. When I glanced at the right wing of the hallway I noticed a certain dark haired boy walking toward this direction, Josh. He wore a green shirt that made his eyes pop out with the color, and oh great my face is blushing again.

            “I see who you are looking at Emily,” Velma teased as she moved her eyebrows and looked at Josh, who was currently opening his locker to retrieve the Algebra book for first period.

            “What? I have no idea what you are talking about,” I glanced away and cleared my throat in my most calm tone.

            “Sure, you can pretend that I won’t notice you looking at Josh with love goggles,” she rolled her eyes and smiled at my embarrassment. “You have it so bad even I noticed the first day I met you,” Velma added with a giggle.

            “That was middle school and it was so not obvious,” I shook my head in denial and tried to keep my tone down so Josh wouldn’t hear us from the other side. Which I highly doubt with all the noise and crowd in the hallway, he is too far from hearing range.

            “Why don’t you try to say good morning to your prince charming?” She suggested and I shook my head without hesitation. Velma knew that whenever I was in public I tended to act more resentful and mean toward Josh, well both of us.

            Speaking of Josh he caught my gaze and narrowed his eyes at me, I felt a vein throb near my head and I glared back at him. “What?” He mouthed with annoyance painted on his face.

            I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue at him in anger, that stupid idiot…yet my heart was booming. I have a serious problem.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.10.2013

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