Chapter 1

Darkness surrounded me. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do or where to run to. I looked at my arm and it had gotten worse. The stream of blood had begun to drip down the tips of my finger. Tears started to travel down my face. I wanted it all to go away, the pain, the misery, the fear of what might happen next. I woke up the next morning and it was all over. I looked around; I had noticed I was in the hospital. I began to sit up when a large amount of pain shot up and down my arms. I looked and the cuts on my arms were deep. I guess it wasn’t a dream. It all had been real the pain, the fear, it was all still there. It comes to mind that I still had to deal with all of it. I just hoped it wouldn't have to be soon.

A few weeks had passed by and I was forced to go back to school. I tried my best to fake sick and stay home, but my sister didn't buy it. I remember standing at the bus stop waiting just wanting this day to go by fast. Finally, the bus came and as soon as I stepped on everyone began to stare and whisper to each other. I started walking to the back of the bus, worried about today. Suddenly I felt someone’s foot go in front of mine and I ended up on the floor. All the kids started laughing. I had gotten back up and I quickly made my way to the back. I looked down, letting my hair cover my face. Not letting people see the tears traveling down, to hide the weakness inside me. Today was going to be a long day.

 

I was still crying when the bus came to a stop. I looked up and we were at school. I waited until everyone was off the bus. I stood up and proceeded towards the door. Before I had the chance to get off the bus driver stopped me. He asked if I was okay. I just stood there not wanting to answer. I was scared that I would break into tears the moment I opened my mouth. He opened the door and told me to have a good day. I got off to see that everybody was already at the school. Taking my phone out to look at the time and I had eight minutes until school began. I slowly started walking to my locker and hoped no one would really take notice of me. I grabbed everything that I could carry so I could walk quickly to my classroom. I turned the corner and bumped into Brittney. Brittney was the head Cheerleader of the Varsity squad. She was every guy's dream girl with long dark flowing hair, a model's body, a straight “A” student, a carrier in the acting business with a super powerful rich daddy. She might have been the prettiest, but she for sure did not have any kindness in her heart what so ever, especially when she was around me. I looked up and apologized. She had what seemed to be an evil grin on her face.

“Well look at who we have here,” she pushed me into the locker. The halls had gone silent and everyone began to stare at us. “The freak of the school has shown her face again,” I looked at her scared, but I knew I had to stand up for myself. I mean what else did I have to lose?

 

“Why do you have to be so mean,” She just stood there and looked at me. “Ever since I moved here you have been a total bully and I’m tired of it,” She gave me this look as if I was insane. Then, with a reaction out of anger, I pushed her. Everyone gasped at what they saw, even I did. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to,” I started to cry as I repeat those words over and over again. She looked at me, threw me to the floor and started punching me. I tried my best to protect myself when the rest of the cheer team grabbed my arms and left my whole body wide open for a beating.

“You stupid girl; how dare you push me,” continuing to beat me, my blood began to start flowing down my mouth. My face was taking another hit after hit. It got worse after every blow. I tried to speak. I tried to ask her to stop, but when I open my mouth I got hit again. After trying time and time again to speak I gave up. The beating out of nowhere stopped and I heard footsteps coming from the crowd of people. They stopped where Brittney was and I opened my eyes enough to see another cheerleader. She whispered something and Brittney looked at the rest of the cheer team holding me down. “Quick take her to the bathroom,” luckily for them, the bathroom was just a few steps away. I was dragged into the bathroom stalls. Brittney pulled my hair so that I was looking at her. “If you or anyone snitches on me, I’ll make sure you can’t walk again, do you understand?” I slowly started shaking my head in pain. She then pulled my hair aggressively and smacked me again. “I said do you understand,” I looked at her and nodded my head up and down like crazy. They left the bathroom and I just sat there. The bell rung and all the voices in the hallways were gone. I start sobbing knowing I was alone once more. I cleaned my face, making sure there was no sign of blood. I looked at my eye and all I could do was lie and say I hit something. I reached into my bag and grabbed my white teddy bear. I started hugging the bear with all my might and compassion with the tears streaming down my face.

“I love you mamma I just wish you could be here to comfort me, you always knew what to say,” I stuffed my bear into my bag and began to head out the door. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror wondering if there is a purpose to my life. I wondered if I could survive through all this. I shed one last tear and headed off to class.

Chapter 2

The pain grew inside me. All the emotions started rushing through my veins. I wanted to cry, but I knew I was so much stronger. I had to hold it all in. I had one semester and my senior year to go. I knew this train of depression was going to stop eventually right? All I wanted was to be happy again. Mom being gone changed me as a person and I didn’t like it. It was like the feeling of being happy was completely taken from me. All these thought disappeared when I heard the bell ring for lunch. Lunch was the only part of the day I liked because we had off campus lunches. I was able to be alone in a small section of the school where no one would bother me. I stepped outside to the smell of rain. It was always the best feeling in the world, especially when I was feeling down. Suddenly my thoughts disappeared when my phone started to vibrate and I saw that it was my sister Dawn.

"Serenity I got off of work early you want me to pick you up and get you something to eat,” I just looked down at the puddle in front of me to see my black eye. I didn’t want her to see this she would go straight to the principal about this and I didn’t want to get beaten up again. I can hear Eliyana, my Niece, asking if I was going with them with so much excitement. I couldn’t say no to her, I just couldn’t.

 

Eliyana had been diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia when she was three years old. We all knew she wasn’t going to make it that far in her life and we had to make the most of it. Eliyana was already five years old and we could tell she had maybe a few years left in her. I decided to quickly put some makeup on to cover my eye. I usually never wear this kind of stuff, but I didn’t want my sister throwing a huge fit towards the school. Not paying attention I panicked when I heard the honk of a car near me. I looked to see it was Dawn and Eliyana waving at me to come. Having no choice now, I jumped into the passenger side and we headed off.

“Thank you, Aunty, I love you,” Eliyana told me with a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug from behind. Dawn looked back to see her in the rear-view mirror.

 

“Sweetheart I already told you once to keep your seatbelt on,” getting back into her seat she still seemed a little squirmy and anxious. I turned around and smiled at Eliyana and when I turned back, I saw Dawn staring at me. I just stared back and waited for her to say something. We started driving off and she finally spoke. “So looks like you’ve been crying are you okay?” I stared out the window like usual and shook my head. “Serenity I really hope you’re not lying to me,” I looked down at my feet not saying a word. “Serenity you better answer me did someone do anything to you,” I looked at her

“Nothing happened I promise I just want to eat right now,” I told her not really caring. She handed Eliyana some headphones so we could talk in private without her getting upset. We stopped at a stoplight and she turned and looked at me.

“Serenity I’m not playing this game okay, I’m not stupid so tell me what happened now,” Her voice got tense and I knew she was serious. I started crying. Tears were going down my face faster than a waterfall.

“I just miss mom okay, after her death nothing has ever been the same I want mom back, I want to see her smiling face, hear her funny laugh, I just need my mom,” Driving, Dawn grabbed my hand and just held it. I began to feel a little better knowing she could feel my pain. I felt a hug from behind me and saw it was Eliyana with a smile on her face.

 

“Don’t cry Aunty please don’t cry, you can have my cookie I get in my meal,” I wiped my tears away feeling as though there was a ray of sunlight in one little girl.

“Thank you Eliyana, thank you.”

Chapter 3

Lunch was over and sadly I had to try and continue my day at school. I walked through the halls hoping once again, no one would take notice of me but sadly I was wrong. Brittney and her group of cheerleaders pushed me into the lockers and just stared at me with an evil grin. I was scared they were gonna finish what they did this morning. “You never learn do you” she slapped me across the face while the other girls pinned me to the lockers making sure I couldn’t move. She slapped me again “Why don’t you just kill yourself. No one here likes you or wants you.” I looked down not wanting to show her my fear in my eyes. I look up to see one of her friends holding my bag wide open for Brittney. My eyes opened wide open when she starts to pull out my Teddy Bear.

“you better let him go right now or I’ll murder you!” She looked up almost astonished that I would even say anything after what she did. She looked down at the bear and back at me.

“Wouldn’t it be just a shame if something were to happen to this poor bear?” My eyes were in tears and I was struggling to get out of the team's grip to just kill her. As I struggle to put up a fight I heard a rip. My whole body stopped as I look up to see Brittney with my bear's body in one hand and the head in the other. “Oops did I do this?”

 

“NOOOO!” As my screams echoed the halls the girls begin taking off. I dropped to my knees and I stared at what was left of what I had to remember my mom. My tears started streaming down my face. It felt like the strength I had left was just gone. As I hear footsteps running down the hall I see Mrs. Castillo stop at where I was at. She looked down but didn’t say a single thing. I picked up what was left of my bear stuffed him in my bag. “I’m sorry Mrs. Castillo I'll get to class right away.”

I walked into class and I was only two minutes late. I’m guessing Mrs. Castillo called because he didn’t send me back to the office. As I took my seat in the back of the class I dropped my head and began crying silently to myself. I tried to figure out how anyone could have such a cold heart and be so evil. My mind was running so much that I didn’t realize everyone was staring at me. I looked up to see a kid standing in front of the class. His hair was brown and shined like glistening chocolate. His warm eyes were like smooth raindrops of blue and green swirling together. My eyes traced his tall, built figure. His clothes were pretty plain, contrasting deeply with his face. He wore a regular sweater with regular cuffed jeans and a plaid jacket.

 

“Good to know you’re awake Ms. Hernandez” I kept my head up, but my eyes low so I wouldn’t make any eye contact. “Well everyone this is our new student Phoenix, and he comes from New Mexico.” I looked around to see every girl staring at him like a dog to marinated steak. I kept my eyes low because I knew no one like him would even take a glance in my direction. “Alright, Phoenix pick your seat so I can continue class” I looked around to see the empty seats scattered around the class.

There was one at the corner of the room closest to the exit, which, by the way, was right near the cheerleaders who I saw moments ago. They giggled and smiled as he got closer and then stopped immediately when he walked right past them. Next was right in the middle of the class were the obnoxious jocks sat. They for some odd reason got this bright idea to think they were better than everyone else. I clearly thought with the way he looked he would sit with them, but again he passed yet another seat. The only seat left in the class was the one right next to me. I hoped that maybe this was a joke and he would walk right back to the jocks or cheerleaders. Nope, he seemed more than determined to take his seat right next to me. As he placed his stuff down I put my head back down to listen to the lecture. Without anything to distract me listening was the key to passing all my classes. As I laid there I felt a slight poke on my shoulder. I panicked and looked up to see Phoenix staring at me with a broad smile.

 

“Do you have a pencil I can borrow?” I looked at him as if something was wrong with him. I reached for a pencil from my bag and turned back holding the pencil.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question” He gave me a confused look. “You are new but yet you didn't come with any pencils?” He gave a slight smile and looked down.

 

“I had to find an excuse to talk to you” I blushed handing him the pencil quickly and placed my head back down. This was not happening!

Chapter 4

As the final bell rings at the end of the day I walk out of class and quickly to the bus without being noticed. I make my way to the back without being noticed or ridiculed. The anticipation to get home has hit a high today, and it’s driving me insane. I put on my earbuds and blast my music so I’m not disturbed unless the bus gets full, which rarely happens. I sit right next to the window and place my bag on my lap checking on my teddy bear who had his head ripped off today. My eyes start to water as I start to become emotional. As I place my head on the window I begin to feel a slight tapping noise against it. I look over to see Phoenix standing there with a stupid looking grin on his face. I take my earbuds off and push down the window to see what he wants

“Can I help you?” He continues to stare at me, which at this point is starting to creep me out. After about a minute of silence, I begin to close my window when he finally says something

“I’m sorry I was lost in my train of thought. I was wondering if you knew which bus goes to Ash Street.”

“This one goes to Ash Street actually.” I wasn’t going to tell him I lived on the same street. I think I’ll let him figure it out on his own, but even without the information he still seems to have that sparkle of happiness in his eyes.

“That’s awesome! I’m going to hop on save me a seat next to you!” He said that a little too loudly for comfort. Phoenix seems sweet and all but I know this attention won’t last long, it never does. In this train of thought, Phoenix comes out of the blue and sits right next to me. “Hey, your name is Serenity, right? I’m not really good with names but I forgot I never gave you your pencil back.” He shuffled through his bag which was filled with a few notebooks and from what I could see a fair amount of pencils. Well at least I know he was prepared and not some guy who can’t remember anything. 

“You don’t have to worry about the pencil you can keep it. I have plenty more in my bag as it is.” He stopped and chuckled a little bit. He continued to talk to me asking me how my day was and apologizing for the embarrassing moment in class. Just as I tell everyone I told him my day was alright and told him time and time again not to worry about it. He seemed like a nice kid. There wasn’t anything about him that made him stand out and he seemed like a normal guy to me. I was enjoying our conversation.

The bus driver has a thing where he calls out the students for each stop. He usually doesn’t do it for me since I know when to get off. However, since there was a new kid on the bus he had to call both our names. “First stop! Serenity and Phoenix!” I don’t enjoy being put on the spot and right now was one of those times.

“That’s cool we get off at the same stop!” he laughed and allowed me to stand up and let me go ahead of him. I was halfway through the bus when I was tripped and laughed at. I began to shed a few tears trying my best not to let anyone see. Suddenly I hear Phoenix behind me talking to someone. I turned around to see him grabbing what I dropped and telling the kid he better not do that again. He helped me up and we proceeded off the bus where he made sure I was alright. “Does that happen all the time? If so I can ride the bus in the morning to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” I wondered why I didn’t see him this morning.  

“It’s alright I’ve been used to it. You don’t have to protect me.” I eyes looked away because I didn’t want him to see how weak I was. I started walking away and I heard his footsteps right behind me. I started to feel uneasy. I stopped and jolted around to look at him. He had this goofy look on him as if he was trying to hold in a laughter. “I told you I don’t need any help, so why are you following me?”

“Because my house is in the same direction. I’m sorry if my comment bothered you. I just don’t like when people are jerks. It’s not right” we continued to walk in silence when I finally got to my house. He stopped and kind of looked at me “Is this your place?” he started to observe the house and the yard, which hasn’t been mowed in quite some time. He then went from looking at the place to looking at me. I looked away because I knew my eyes were red from the tears I had earlier.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” I took a quick glance to see him smiling. “what are you smiling about you were mad not too long ago.”

“I’m just enjoying the fact that not only are we classmates but we’re also neighbors.” He points at the beautiful house right next to mine, it’s the same style as mine but with a clean look to it. “Well since this is the case if you ever need a ride to school let me know, and I can ask my mom she’s really nice and wouldn’t mind.”

“Thank you, I’ll consider the offer.” I probably wasn’t going to take the offer but I thought I would be polite. We both just stood there when we both heard a voice yelling from my place.

“Aunty! Aunty!” I looked to see Eliyana running to me with all her might with my sister right behind her. “Aunty you made it home!” I gave her a big hug and picked her up with the biggest smile I’ve had all day. Dawn finally caught up and seemed a little out of breath.

“Eliyana you can’t do that you scared me half to death! We are going to have to have a serious talk when we ge..” she lost her train of thought when she saw Phoenix standing there. “Well hello there, I don’t believe we’ve met before I am Dawn. I’m Serenity’s sister.”

“Hello Dawn, my name is Phoenix I’m actually new to the neighborhood. I actually live right next door.” He points to the house and my sister is just standing there looking at him trying her best to terrify him.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you, young man, maybe one day you and your family would like to come over for dinner.” I begin to turn red because I can’t believe she’s acting this way. We start walking to the doorstep while my sister is trying to learn more about him.

“Okay, Dawn I think it’s about time Phoenix gets home. Bye Phoenix thank you for walking us to the door I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” I finally get the door closed and walk to my room where I finally lay down and curl up in my blanket. It’s not too long before Dawn and Serenity walk into my room and start asking about him. I’m not ready for all this excitement! I just want it all to be just a dream!

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 06.02.2014

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This Novel is dedicated to those who have been bullied and are still hoping to see if maybe there is hope at the end of the darkness. Well there is and this book shows a story of a girl who does find her light