Walls

Im stuck in these walls

These walls i hate so much

Im traped here

Till something happens

Weither its death

Or success 

I wish for the later

But it could be the first

For now

I stay trapped

In these solid blocks

That wont break down

Smile

You see her

Everyday

I know you do

Because I see her too

She's beautiful

Wise too

Her silky brown hair flows

Everytime she walks

She smiles

and laughs

But when you look into her eyes

You dont see happiness

You see sadness

You wonder why?

She looks so happy

On the outside

But do we really know?

We dont know the demons she faces

Or the troubles she has to overcome 

You've only talked to her once

But you feel you should talk to her more

She's kind

and understanding

So you gather courage

And talk to her

Now you talk everyday

You even go to places together

And one day you see her smile

You notice this time

You see the happiness in her eyes

So you smile too

Then hugs go to hand holding

Its been two years

Since you've gathered your courage 

And spoke

Things are going along wonderful

But then one day

She breaks down

Tears and all

Right into your arms

You've never seen her cry

But it hurts

You've learned 

When she does

So you hold her close

No words spoken

She looks at you

"Its bad" she says quietly

"I will be dead soon"

"How?" you say voice trembling 

"Cancer"

you never knew such an ugly word

Could come from such pretty lips

You shake

And cry

You hold her closer

Was it really worth gathering up that courage?

 

Fallen leaf

The fallen leaf, Down

It gently fell to the ground

Through the wind breeze

Butterfly

It flows through the air

Such a beautiful sight seen

Gracefully flowing

Blood

The blood drips

It flows and runs

From the lifless body on the ground

Deep hole

I sit in the middle

The middle of these sandy walls

With my dark lingiring thoughts

When ever i stand they pull me down

Weighing me down like an anchor 

I growl

Then i stand

This time, Kicking my thoughts down

I look up at the 6 foot hole

The hole i dug myself into

I dig feet into the sandwall

And pull myself up and onto the edge

I dig my nails onto the surface

As my thoughts try to pull me down

With sharp claws they tear my skin

But i keep pulling

Eventually I get up

And cry in victory

I am poem

I am lonley and broken

I wonder if anyone loves me truley

I hear the complaints of my family

I see my mother dieing

I want everything to be okay

I am lonley and broken

I pretend i dont hear the fights

I feel the rough scars on my skin

I touch the sharp edge on the blade

I worry my mother will die

I cry for the people who are hurting

I am lonley and broken

I understand I should'nt do this

I say but no one will listen

I dream that one day I will be free

I try to be happy

I hope that I will get through this

I am lonley and broken

I am poem (for sora)

I am scared and sad

I wonder if they will ever catch me

I hear her voice in my head

I see the blood all over me

I want a happy home

I am scared and sad

I pretend she's not there

I feel like my heart is torn

I touch the wet skin on my cheeks

I worry they will find me

I cry because my mother is gone

I am scared and sad

I understand she died because of me

I say its my fault

I dream of horrid nightmares

I try to ignore her

I hope that she will vanish

I am scared and sad

Angels

They fly Above

And protect us that are Below

With thier Wings of freedom

White and gleaming

They sit on the Clouds

And protect the Stars

As well as Us

They wish us Love

From the Sky

I am poem (for Demon)

I am vicous and violent

I wonder if ill ever be able to leave

I hear her singing

I see what she see's

I want to have my own body

I am vicous and violent

I pretend im heartless

I feel her controling everything

I touch the razor sharp knife

I worry that she willl die

I cry because I cause her pain

I am vicous and violent

I understand its not her fault

I say I hate her

I dream of my own life

I try to get out

I hope I can take control one day

I am vicous and violent

 

In the dark

As I sit in the dark

Alone

I then wonder

What does my future hold?

I once wanted to end everything

All that was me

That would've been my fate

If not for He

I would be gone

Under a tree

Never seeing

What could be

I ponder for what feels like years

Then I feel a sudden chill

As if the darkness took a hold of me

And pullled me under

It hurts yet im numb

Im drowning but i have breath

Has the darkness finally draged me under?

No

I will not end this way I decide

Just because I didnt see the light of today

The light will come

Im sure

Not today but maybe tomorrow

So I stand in the dark

And see

There was a light

It was right in front of me

 

Stars

The stars shining 

So bright

Im gazing

Then I wonder, What is it like?

I look up at the sky

The stars no longer hiding behind the clouds

Their singing softly

A lullaby to me

A beautiful Song and sight

But so lonley for them to be up so high

Hearts

A heart is made of Glass

So be Careful with it

It holds so much Meaning

It Beats rythmicly 

To the Music

Desires and

Hope in every beat

Sometimes it Skips

When in Love

That's Life

River rocks

Blue skies

Murkey brown pond below

The light in his eyes

As he pulls me from the depths

Feeling alive

But drowning as well

Getting pulled out faster

As each second passes

When I reach the surface

I see everything more clear

No ripples or blurrs

But I look at my rescuer 

That has tears falling down his face

His stone brown eyes glowing

In happiness

His arms wrap around my shoulders

He holds me closely 

"Im so glad you made it out"

I smile softly to this heartfelt boy

He then wipes my tears

The tears I never knew I had

Too late

You cut

Destroying yourself

Little by little

But inside

Your already rotten and dead

You walk around with a fake smile

Plastered on your face

You look strong

But no one knows

That you cry all night

Or the scars

New and old

All over your body

Shameful and pathetic

You think

"Why am I still alive?"

So you decide

You'll do it

You pick up the knife

And imagine it

It seems like bliss

From your problems

All the people

Who dont care

From your judgemental and crazy maker

Who has lost her way

And isn't coming back

So you cut the thin skin

On your neck

As the blood drips

He knocks away the weapon

And watches the life fade out of your eyes

As you whisper

"Its too late"

Then he's left alone

And he picks up the knife...

Bullet

Life is hard

Its like a bullet to the head

A gaping hole in the side of our heads

Many people dont see

But one's with an extra mirror

See very clearly

What has been done to them

They get angry

Depressed

Anxious

But no one understands

Because they can't see

Shackles and chains

These shackles and chains

When I try to move

I hit the ground

The smell of ashes

Of burning flesh

Everything has crashed

All around me

Burn't to dust

As I watch

Burn't to the bone

Tears rolling down my face

Im weighed down by these chains

Unable to move

As they die one by one

Death

Death

Death sounds bittersweet

A taste of freedom

But suffering

The word is tart on my tongue

Making me breath black

And speak lies

So for now I lay

In my bed

But soon I will lay

In a grave

 

Slow

Everything is frozen

Silent

Nothing in my mind

The pain thundering in my chest

As I fall

It's dark

As I feel the wind go through my hair

And my body collapse onto the ground

Sinner

I stand in front of you

My sins written on my arms

In red

My tears rollling over the scratches

That i have displayed

Your eyes wide in shock

As you turn away

I weep

Over my own foolishness

And selfishness

As you walk 

Turned from me

Demons

Forgive me for I have sinned

I have hurt others and myself

I believe I deserve this pain

"Why can't I end all this pain?"

"you're worth living"

I don't understand

My demons say diffrent

They taunt and tease

Nipping at my skin

You tell me they arn't real

But have you seen them

In my eyes?

Because I have

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.07.2014

Alle Rechte vorbehalten