Copyright @ 2010 by Tina V


All Rights Reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, used or transmitted in any forms or manner, electronic, graphic, recording, or mechanical such as printing, photocopying, or stored in any systems without prior written permission from the author.

The author would like to dedicate this work to her mother and to all the mothers in the world. She would like to thank her friend who allowed her to share their family story.


The author used fictitious names with a slight twist in the events to hide the real identity of the characters.


“Where your treasure is, there also will be your heart.”

by: Paulo Coelho Author of The Alchemist

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“Love is learned, fear is learned, prejudice is learned, hate is learned, concern is learned, responsibility is learned, commitment is learned, respect is learned, kindness and gentility are learned. All of these are learned in a society, in the house, in a relationship.”

by: Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
Author of Living, Loving & Learning

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“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.”

by: Helen Keller

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 - A Portrait of a Perfect Family


Chapter 2 - The Separation


Chapter 3 - Trials and Struggles in Life


Chapter 4 - A Mother’s Faith and Love


Chapter 5 - The Final Journey

Chapter 1 – A Portrait of a Perfect Family

Ephesians 5:33 to 6:1 – “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

*****

The closest person to me had a picture of a perfect family. Yup! You’ve got it . . . it seemed like a perfect family to all. I remember when we were still growing up when we used to go to their big house. We usually organized birthday parties and even simple gatherings at their home. We also gathered together for Christmas celebrations. We were living in a town where almost everybody knew each other.

My bestfriend Caroline was third in their family. She seemed fragile and quiet just like her mom. She stood out as a school leader. She loved to swim and play bowling. She also excelled in her academics as a scholar. At home, she helped out her mom in baking.

Her dad was a successful executive in one of the top corporate banks. He was a soft-spoken and respectable man. He participated actively in socio-civic organization within our hometown. He was obviously a good provider to his family.

Her mother, as a stay-at-home mom, took care of them. She seemed so fragile because of her asthma. She was a demure and disciplined woman. She loved to bake. Oh well, I remember her Orange Chiffon Cake, Coconut Macaroons and Chocolate Cake. Not to forget her Tapioca and Purple Yam Cake, too. Yummy . . . it all tasted good!

Caroline has three other siblings. The eldest in their family was Antonette. She played volleyball in their school. Her classmates always elected her as the Secretary because she writes legibly. Quite pretty and smart, she also had a lot of friends.

Her brother Russel was active in sports. He played volleyball, skateboarding, billiards, and swimming. As a talkative guy, he always seemed to be the life of the party.

The youngest was James. He was chubby when he was still small. He sang well; perhaps, it was because their mom always said that she liked Tom Jones when she was pregnant with him. Huh! It’s quite interesting. He also played the guitar.

They all had the comforts at home with housekeepers, gardeners and drivers. You could never see their parents fight. They had been known as a loving couple. That was all their lifestyle. Almost everything they wanted, they got it! They had the presence of a “home of an ideal family.”

Chapter 2 – The Separation

Mark 10:9; 11 – “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. . . Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.”

*****

Their life suddenly changed. I would never forget the day when Caroline came over to my house. She told me that her dad left their mom for another woman. I didn’t understand her at first. She cried terribly, "It's not fair!"

and chokingly she said, “Why does Dad had to do this to us? What are we going to do now?”

At that time, I felt so sorry for her. I could see the pain in her eyes. I tried to cheer her up and placed my arms around her. I told her, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

They were words of comfort that I didn’t even know if everything would really be fine. I was hoping it would, but how? Perhaps, time will tell.

We went to her house that same day. Her mom, her sister and two brothers were all there. As we entered their living room, I could feel the sadness and sorrow inside. Their father had hurt them so much. All her siblings were crying, too. I couldn't imagine that the picture of a perfect family was now a portrait of a broken home.

When her mom saw us, she stood up and went straight to us. I couldn't see any tears in her eyes. She gave Caroline a big hug and said, “Be strong Caroline, we will overcome all these trials.”

She then turned to me and thanked me for always being there for my friend.

“I am sorry for what happened Aunt Lisa. I will always be here for your family and Caroline.”

I answered her in a low tone of voice.

Actually, I felt like a part of their family. I was really a part of their family because Caroline and I were like sisters. They always welcomed me at their home. They had treated me so well. They were grieving and I felt like I was grieving, too. Damn! That’s one thing I hated most . . . the feeling of betrayal from the person whom you trusted so much. I might not understood it at that time, but I do now.

The separation was a tragic experience to their whole family. It became the news of the town. Almost everybody in our school knew about it. They first felt so embarrassed to talk about it.

Two weeks later it happened, they were at the mall when they saw their dad with his mistress. Caroline and her mom saw them just a few yards away. Aunt Lisa did not approached them neither did she tried to confront them. They went straight home.

At their home, the door slammed! Caroline turned to her mom and asked in a loud voice, “Why didn’t you go and talk to dad? You should have let me fight for you. What they’ve done was not fair!”

She was furious with anger in her heart. She hated him. She wanted to confront and slap him on his face.

Her mom shrugged and just simply replied, “That’s not the right way to handle it. He is still your father. You need to respect him.”

You couldn't see any emotions in her face. She just then walked straight to her room. We knew she was in pain, but she never showed it . . . not even once.

A few days after that incident, we saw her sister Antonette crying in the dining room. We asked her why and she said, “Mom and Aunt Nellie had a fight in the restaurant. They had always hated mom. They never liked her. They liked dad’s mistress better. They never liked us, too!”

Those words “they never liked us, too”

came running fast through Caroline’s veins. I could see the reaction in her face. Her eyes and eyebrows showed rage in her heart. It seems that she was telling me that someday she will get back to them. The frail and thin girl that I once knew began to become a rebel . . . a fighter to be more exact.

Antonette told us that it was the first time that she saw their mother got angry. She continued telling us that their mom slapped them with her umbrella. She pointed to them with her fingers and told them never to talk to her children like that. She stood up for her rights and for her kids.

We all learned that the parents and sisters of their dad knew about his mistress. The worst thing was . . . they warmly accepted her! Just come to think of it, the mistress was a prostitute. Oh my goodness, I thought. What kind of grandparents and aunts were they to my friend?!? I might not know the whole situation, but I felt furious, too. Nobody wanted to have "in-laws" like them... so ignorant and immoral. Forgive me for my words, but they were the most horrible people I had ever known.

They never heard anything again from their father. He never gave them any financial support. He never even remembered them during birthdays or any special occasions. They lost contact with him.

Inspite of what happened, their mom never taught them to hate their father. She always told them, “He is still your father no matter what happened. You cannot erase that fact. You still need to respect him.”

It was only after a year when they found out that their dad’s mistress went to Canada. Their father’s parents and sisters financed for her trip. Their dad lived alone in another state. He already resigned from the bank. He didn’t had a permanent job. He stayed in a small room. He lost the comfort of what is called “home”. He also lost his real family.

Contrary to that, the separation made their mom a stronger person. She seemed physically weak but determined to survive for herself and for her children. Their journey in life was not easy. She turned to God for help. They were led to a church missionary that helped her family survived those times of tribulation. As the bible verse in Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Chapter 3 – Trials and Struggles in Life

Joshua 1:9 - “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

*****

I had seen the changes in their life as a broken home family. From a luxurious lifestyle, it was substituted with a simple living. The adjustment period was so difficult that they experienced a lot of problems within them. They had to let go of their housekeepers, gardeners and drivers. They only retained one helper to assist their mom in their household. The global economic recession that we are experiencing now is nothing to them for they started their crisis in life at an early age.

All of them needed to learn how to commute all by themselves. I remember the first time that Caroline and I rode in a public transportation. She was really having a hard time. She didn’t know how much to pay the driver. She also didn’t know how to cross the street. I always told her, “Come on, let’s go! You can do it.”

It was funny to remember those days, but she learned her way in life so fast.

Since their mom didn’t have a fixed income, their family experienced difficulty in paying for their school’s tuition fees. Their youngest James would also tell his mom that his shoes got a hole underneath. Since they didn’t have the money to buy for a new one, he still walked to school using it. Poor James . . .

I witnessed almost all their problems. I noticed how their friends and relatives slowly disappeared in their life. One by one, they were gone . . . some turned their back away from them . . . while others mocked them, too. As the saying goes, “You will know who your true friends are in times of troubles.”

There were only a few of us who remained loyal to them. Painful, wasn’t it?

Caroline had a car accident when we entered the middle school. I remember that day when we were practicing for a school dance at the garage of one of our classmates. Alvin was supposed to back out his car, but instead of putting it on the rear gear, he moved it to drive forward. His car suddenly squeaked . . . bang! He did hit Caroline at the back. I saw her body flew a few yards. We were all stunned. At first, we didn’t move. We all thought that the car ran over her.

It happened so fast. I suddenly shouted, “Caroline, are you okay?”

I ran and sat beside her. She wasn’t moving. My heart started to thump fast. My body shivered. I felt my hands got numbed. I didn’t know what to do.

Until one of our friends said, “Let’s bring her to the nearest hospital.”

So we did.

The doctors and nurses immediately attended to her. Alvin and I went to their house to tell her mom about the accident. Some of our classmates waited in the emergency room.

Her mom was astonished and nervous when she heard about it. Tears started to flow from her eyes. She asked us, "Is Caroline alright?”

I anxiously answered her, “She will be fine. The doctors are already checking on her. She’s at the emergency room with our classmates.”

Alvin assured her not to worry about the bills to pay because his family will be the one to settle it. He apologized for what happened.

Aunt Lisa held no grudges and told him, “I know you didn’t mean to hit her. It was all an accident.”

That was only one of the trials that hit their family. Caroline stayed in the hospital for a week. Her legs were numbed. Her doctor told them that it would take some time to be back on her feet again. It was just like a nightmare! She couldn't walk!

When Caroline left the hospital, it changed her life. She became moody and irritable. I witnessed when she yelled at her mom and bitterly said, “Life isn’t fair! Why do terrible things happen to good people? Am I that bad?”

There was so much pain inside her. She blamed God for what happened to her.

Oh well, I also didn’t understood the reason why bad things happen to good people. Life wasn’t really fair to them. It seemed that they were God’s favorite family to deluge all those burdens in life. I just can’t imagine how I would survive if I were in their shoes. (Sigh!) hhhmmm . . .

But Aunt Lisa was so patient to comfort her. She would tell her, “God will not give us any trials that we cannot handle. Put your faith in Him and trust Him in everything that we do.”

She seemed firm and strong.

I had seen their struggles in life. Caroline continued to go to school using those wooden crutches. It seemed that she felt helpless. She would hide her pain through her smiles. Just like her mom, she never held any grudges to anybody. She would go to her physical therapist at least three times a week.

Good thing that Aunt Lisa would always remind her of the verse in Matthew 11:28, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

I was not a religious person. But this verse struck through my head.

Her mom took so much care of Caroline. It took her almost six months to walk again. Her mom convinced her to go back to church. But after that heartbreaking incident, she seemed to live a double life . . . a church goer and a backslider. She taught children’s bible school during summer. But she started to smoke and drink behind her mother’s back. She thought it would ease out the pain. Pity Caroline. . .

That was not the only problem their family had experienced. The second sibling Russel became the so called “black sheep” in their family. When their parents separated, he went on to cut classes. He started to drink and smoke. He later indulged himself with marijuana and other drugs. I witnessed that he almost committed suicide because of those drugs. He had a hard time accepting the situation of being a broken home. He engaged himself with school and gang fights. He was kicked out and transferred to another school. He failed to finish his college degree.

Russel also had an accident when he was doing his skateboarding. He twisted his right palm and broke his right arm. His friends rushed him to the hospital. The doctor placed a plaster or cement cast in his arm. He recovered in almost a year. But their mom never gave up on him. She took care of him at her best effort.

Moreover, Caroline told me that their mom felt bad when her eldest sister followed their dad after her college graduation. Antonette worked in a travel agency. She was the least in the family who had experienced difficulties in life. She always traveled to different countries. She loved signature clothes, bags and shoes. She seldom remembered to send money to their mom for financial support. Aunt Lisa never obliged her to do so. And to my surprise, she stood out as the favorite in their family.

Their family sufferings just didn’t stop there. They had already sold their cars and other land lots to finance for their needs. Eventually, they also had to let go of their last house helper. We were already in college when their old big house was demolished because of a strong typhoon. I saw their condition during those times when I went to their house. I saw them shivering from the cold weather. They were just sleeping on their old sofa set using some plastic and umbrellas to cover them. They used it to protect them from the rain. They still didn’t have the money to fix it. They shared canned goods to eat for lunch and dinner. They couldn't cook anymore. I could see the worries and fears in their eyes. Yet, their family still talked and laughed together. It took them a few months before they transferred to an apartment. But it took them almost two years before they built a smaller house on that same lot.

Their mom was so strong to survive it. Her faith in God and her love for her children had moved mountains to exceed all their trials and struggles in life.

“It is not the times that we falter and fall that matters but it is the times that we rise from each fall.”

She would always tell them.

She continued to say, “You know what is right and what is wrong. You should learn to make wise decisions.”

I learned one thing from them that courage is the ability to face one’s challenges in life amidst the presence of fear.

There is nothing wrong if we sometimes feel scared and afraid. But it is our strength to conquer that feeling that counts most. We have to learn to move on in our journey despite of that fear.

Chapter 4 – A Mother’s Faith and Love

Proverbs 3:5 - “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding”

*****

Aunt Lisa so firm and comitted within herself to let all her children finished their schooling. As I mentioned earlier, she didn’t had a fixed source of income. She wasn’t able to graduate in college because she was always sick and absent in school. Remember that I told you that she had asthma? Her asthma usually attacked her every change of climate weather. She couldn't breathe well. She couldn't sleep well. She used an inhaler to help her with her breathing problem.

Inspite of all these weaknesses, it didn’t become a hindrance for her to earn their living. She used her love for baking to make pastries and cakes to sell. I recall that she used her old oven to bake those delicious cakes. She sold it on a consignment at her friend’s bakery. She focused herself in selling variety of goods. She sold their cars and land lots to help them out. She also sold clothing lines, insurance and real estates. She was no longer a stay-at-home mom. She became the head of their family and still a mother to her kids.

I remember that their mom would go to banks to sell ready-to-wear clothes to the employees. She would go there hoping that she could make a sale. She needed this to buy their food for the day. Caroline would often tag along when she doesn’t have classes. They no longer shy away from people about their situation. Their mom became more tough . . . tougher than ever before.

During hard times, Aunt Lisa borrowed money from her closest friends to pay for school’s tuition fees and spare some to buy food. She really had difficulty setting a budget. Good thing that her family relative who owned a fishing company usually sent them some fish. That helped her, too.

Her love for her children made her strong to endure all the problems. She never gave up on them. She still stood by their side although it seemed that she wasn’t appreciated that much. Yes, she would probably get mad when they made mistakes. But I’m sure that no mother wanted their children to go astray. I knew that it broke her heart to see them lost in life.

Their mom, despite all the trials and struggles in their life, never lost hope. She placed her trust in God that everything would be well. She diligently attended church service and bible school. Her faith in God led her to the right direction in life. She continued to pray for guidance and provision. Later, the church hired her as a Secretary and Custodian. She reported for work at least three times a week. It made things easier for her. She would more often quote the verse in Philippians 4:13, “I have the strength to face all conditions through Christ who strengthens me.”

Indeed, a mother’s faith can stand the overflowing rivers and her unconditional love for her children can climb the highest mountain. Children can turn their back from their mothers, but no mother can hold back from their children. Her love is pure and everlasting no matter what happens.

Chapter 5 - The Final Journey

Psalm 84:11 - “For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

*****

The journey wasn’t easy for Aunt Lisa and her family. Her faith, love and courage moved them to the right direction. Her persistence and hardwork made their way to a better life.

Antonette, Caroline and James finished their bachelor’s degree in a university. They got good jobs in large companies. Although Russel only got a high school diploma, he was able to work, too. All of them are married now and have a family of their own. Antonette has three kids; Russel and James have two boys each. Caroline has none because she married late. They promised to themselves that they will never let their children experience a life that they have been through before.

After graduation, Caroline sends financial support to their mom. It is her way of showing her love and appreciation to her mother. She reached her dreams of becoming a Director in a large corporation. She also started from scratch. But just like her mom, her persistence and determination brought her to the top. Her living a double life stopped. She is now a member of the church. She and her husband diligently attend Sunday service. They give their tithes as their commitment to help the church grow.

Their mom is now living a simple happy life. She gets her retirement fund every month. She is still an active member of the church. She no longer works for them, but she often attends every activities especially their women’s group. She now goes out with her close friends. She seems to be enjoying every minute of her life. She loves her grandchildren so much. She may still has her own problems but to a much lesser extent. Her physical weakness didn’t stop her to reach her dreams. Her journey in life will eventually come to an end but with a fuller and joyous life . . . a life lived according to God’s grace and plan.

Their dad came back to them. Although their parents will never get back together again, their mom had forgiven their dad a long time ago for their sake. He now works in an insurance company. He sometimes sends money to Aunt Lisa and his children. He loves his grandchildren, too. He may not be able to turn back the time, but he is now trying to make things better between him and his family. Regretting for the mistakes may be late, but to learn and change is better.

He may not be able to heal the wounds of the past, but he can still fill-in the gap that was lost.

Her dad’s eldest sister died of cancer while his younger sister’s husband also betrayed her for another woman. His other sister also lived as a broken home family. His parents died of old age without too many friends. Oh well, we really have to pay for our debts. Indeed, life is like a roller coaster . . . sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. You will never know what will happen next.

There are so many lessons to learn from their story. I learned that God says in Hebrews 12:1, “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Each of us has our own race to win and a journey to travel in life. A person’s faith and love can help him move up. Hope is within our reach; we only have to hold on to it. We will eventually see the rainbow after every storm. Our courage to finish the race that was set by God will lead us to victory . . . the victory of joy and happiness from within. We need to rightly use the armor that was given to us . . . that’s our talent and skills. We also have our own compass in life. That is the bible. We need to read and understand it to see the right direction. Every journey that is destined for us to travel will come to an end . . . when one ends, another new opportunity opens and bigger challenges begin.

The time will come that we will ultimately reach our final destination . . . that is the final journey according to His plan.

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(Just flip this to go to the last page.)

The Journey in Life

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Courage is the ability to face one’s challenges in life amidst the presence of fear.

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Love is a great risk in life that is worth trying for . . .

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About the Author: TINA V graduated in Psychology and Business Management. She also studied Guidance and Counseling to enhance her skills. As a Human Resource professional, she coached and mentored staff to managers on how to become more effective in their work. She joined BookRix.com because of her love for writing.

She hopes that through this book she can share words of wisdom to all readers that might help them in their personal and career life.

Impressum

Texte: This is based on a true story with a slight twist in the events. It is about a family's journey in life amidst tribulation. It reveals the strength of a woman to surpass all her struggles in life. Her belief in God and love for her family made her endure her trials. This woman symbolizes the spirit of genuine motherhood of all times. It conveys the true meaning of faith, courage and love.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.02.2010

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