Aria
I’ve looked at the mirror seven times since I woke up this morning. I thought I knew what my face looked like, I‘ve seen it for seventeen years and yet have never really looked past my reflection. But every time I glanced at that mirror, at that girl looking back, it’s hard to see if that was every me. I traced the swells of my lips repeatedly as if they could easily disappear beneath my touch, they were a painful reminder of my father. From the gentle waves of my dark hair to the almond shape of my eyes and the one thing that standout the most, the deep greens of my eyes. I was my fathers child.
September 7,2010
I have never been this nervous about the first day of school, but today how can I not, new school, new house, new everything. My mom is making me write in this stupid diary, she thinks it would help me vent out my feelings and help me see how my life has change in the coarse of one year. But change is isn’t always good. I can’t take another day like one of the days in past three month. Life before those heart wrenching months was perfect from the out side. My friends envied what they thought was a picture perfect life , and I guess it was at time, when I didn’t know that every time my dad came home late it was because he was cheating on my mom. And how stupid was I not to see that my “perfect” family was crumbling, until the day when it finally snapped. I don’t think I even got out of my room that day when my parents gave me and Lily that talk “ Your mom and I have grown apart, we just aren’t in love with each other like that anymore.” More like you would rather sleep with every women in the city except the one you are married to, and not feel guilty about coming home to your FAMLY! If you can’t tell that I strongly hate my dad I do, for all of the tears he had cause me and my mom to shed. Lily was too young to understand but she cried with us when my mom told her that our dad would live in a different house. Like she would know the difference he was barely home to begin with. That’s the worst part about all of this Lily she is so young she doesn’t get why our dad isn’t here with us when we have dinner. Why he is not here to tuck her in at night? What kind of man would do this to his family just abandon them like they meant nothing to him. I feel like every kiss, every hug and very smile was all fake. He didn’t mean any of it .

I couldn’t write any more. I could feel the tears trying to escape from my eyes it stung holding it back, but I promised myself that I would not shed another tear for that man. And I, unlike him I will keep all my promises.
I threw the diary on my bed with unnecessary force I had enough of it for one day. I ran back thinking that my mom could come in, and read it, it would break her heart. So I hid it behind my desk for now. I was angry that the diary was right, I couldn’t deny it any longer. My dad didn’t love me.
I took one last glance at the mirror. After so many changes of new cloths, too many to count I had given up. Nothing about to day would have made me feel any better about how my life was going.
I slowly walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen looking around trying to avoid it, but there she was pouring coffee in her tall cup, motioning for my to come over.
“ I m not hungry” I said in a voice that even I didn’t recognize. It was soft and lifeless. A flower slowly dieing without water without sun without what it truly what most.
“ Please” she whispered in my ear. The smell of her strong coffee entered my nose and woke up every one of my senses.
“Don’t make it any harder than it is.” her voice was pleading
How can I argue with that, she has suffered as much as me, maybe even more if I wasn’t happy why bring her down lower, with me?
“ I know these past month have been...” she paused like she couldn’t find a word horrible enough to say for how she thought I felt. Depressing? I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs to show her exactly how I felt in this last few months. June, July and August are heavy weights upon my heart.
“hard. But I know that if you let your guard down you would love it here I promise.”
she sounded like she wanted to cry so I grabbed the muffin took a bite just to please her and headed towards the table where Lily was playing with her pancake.
I envy her she look a lot like my mother heart shaped face fair skinned light brown hair, she reminded me of the sun how she seem to shine in beauty that was humble but present. I took the fork sticky from syrup and knife away from her and started cutting the pancake to smaller pieces so they could fit in her mouth easily. My mom would have usually done this but she has had a lot on her mind lately.
“Why are you up so early, your school doesn’t start for another hour and a half.” I mustered enough enthusiasm to be that loving sister that I once was. The loving sister that I know she needed right now. It’s hard to love when your filled to the rim with hate. I know that I’m not strong enough now for someone to lean on me, when I my self didn’t have both feet planted firmly on the ground.
“I wanted to help mommy make breakfast” Lily said sensing my sadness. I was always so surprising how well she could since my feelings.
“Do you still want me to pick you up after school?” I wanted to take the pain way from her eyes. she knows that I’m sad and that would bring her down and I didn’t want that. Lily deservers a happy first day of school.
“ YES!” she grind so wide I almost forgot about every thing. Almost.
“ Well I found this really cool ice cream shop a few blocks away from your school, and they have a bunch of flavors and a playground so I was wondering if you would like to come with me?”
Her grin was even wider than before
“ I’ll take that as a yes”
All she could do was nod. What I would do to be a kid again with no worries, where every thing could make you smile.
I looked at my mom she was smiling too, I haven’t seen her smile like that I such a long time it just reminds me of the sadness. I had to get out of here before I break their moment on happens with my tears.
I cleared my throat “Bye mom bye Lily. Love you guys”
My mom kissed the top of my head
“ I love you” she hugged me tight like she was afraid to let go
“ Don’t forget the ice cream shop” Lily yield
“ I won’t I promise” I had a knot in my stomach telling me if I had another bite of that chocolate chip muffin that I would see it again before lunch, so I through it in my backpack when I got out the door.


Grayson

Beep beep BEEP! Ahhh morning already? I rubbed my eyes hoping that it will help me see clearer. But the blast of sun light coming from my window was enough to blind me so I squinted at the clocks glowing numbers screaming I have over slept. “crap!” I cursed to myself quietly; I can’t afford to start the year being late. If I don’t completely do “wonderful” this year I won’t be able to graduate with my class. I’ll be one of the super seniors who got held back, how embarrassing would that be? It would also be another disappointment for my parents to add to their invisible list. I can’t take another year of high school or living in this dreadful house any longer.
So, I should have woken up on the first beep or even the fourth time, but that party last night was wicked, from the little I remembered of it .Which reminds me I have a killer hangover.
I pushed the covers away from me and stood up from my bed. I got up too fast, it felt like all the blood in my body rushed to my head.
I looked around my room it was clean. All the cloth I had on the floor the morning before was picked up, everything was put away nicely. There on top of my jean drawer was the outfit I planed on wearing today. After I got changed and brushed my teeth quickly, remembering that I was already late I dashed out the door
“ Mary” I said after exiting my room I hear her run up the stairs with shuffling feet.
“ Yes Mr. Rams?” she said quietly meeting my eyes
“ Mary you don’t have to call me that, Mr. Rams is my dad. And you don’t have to clean my room I am capable of doing it myself .” Which you wouldn’t notice, because I don’t.
“ I’m sorry Grayson but your mother said to you guy’s are having guest tonight and the house must be spotless.”
“Guest?” I said puzzled no one told me about anyone coming to the house tonight. I guess they didn’t want me to mess things up by attending.
“ Your mother also said for you to be here at five so that you may clean up before dinner”
“who is coming over?” I asked not really caring because if they know my parents they where people just like them, boring and busy.
“ Your mothers friends’ family I think. There’s breakfast on the table.” Mary pointed to the dinning room table from the stairs. The table that always felt to large for a house so… lonely.
“ I got to go I’m late for school, but thanks”
It’s sad to think that Marry is the closest thing I have to family, but it’s true, she always here when I needed her unlike my parents who are always gone doing something more important than coming home and spending time with their son. I guess that shows how much they care about me if they care about me at all. Very little.


***
The first bell rang thirty minutes ago I checked my watch as I entered my first period class.
“Grayson!” my best friend Travis called from across the room. The class began talking making it hard to hear anything but the buzzing chatter of everyone talking at the same time.
“QUITE! Quite down” just then the class was so quite that you could have heard a pen drop three rooms away. Ms. Hale was one of the meanest teachers at this school and by far the hardest to past. Also if you got on her bad list you can never ever get out. Or at least that what everyone say’s.
“Mrs. Rams, how kind of you to join us.” she said dryly, not meaning any of the words she just said.
“ I’m so sorry Ms. Hale it won’t happen again” Thinking to myself I shouldn’t have promise something I couldn’t keep especially to this teacher, but it’s to late now.
“ Just sit down” she said even more dryly than last time.
I’m already on her bad side and it was only the first day of school. Maybe she has heard of me from other teachers, not a good start either.
I scanned the room for a place to sit, all the seats where filled except one next to a girl I haven’t seen before. I have skipped a “few” days of school last year, but I think I would have remember seeing her. She had olive complexion with dark green eyes, eye lashes so long they almost touch her brow, long wavy dark brown hair which was tied to the side and pink plump shiny lips. All I could do was stare she. Must be knew.
“ Can I sit here?” I asked her in my I’m hot and you know it voice.
“ It’s a free country.” she said in a way that it sounded like she could care less who was sitting next to her. This took me by surprise she look so innocent and sweet when I was looking at her just few seconds ago, like she could start singing and a bird would come flying on her finger and sing along.
“Hi my name is Grayson” I put my hand up like I was going to shake hers’ and pulled it back, thinking in my mind who shakes hands anymore. I felt like a complete loser. She smiled like she was agreeing to my thoughts.
“ Hi.” was all she could say. I would have stopped right there but something about this girl made me want to know everything about her.
“that’s when you say your name.” I said slow and teasing
“ Aria, my name is Aria.” Ms. Hale announced that the seat she a signed us was our permanent seat for the whole year.

***
The last bell finally rang, I couldn’t keep my eye’s open enough when Mr. Weller was introducing what we are going to learn this year in world history. It wasn’t my fault that he made every thing sound so boring, and it wouldn’t kill him to have a tic tak or two once in a while. But Aria had this class too, four out of six classes wasn’t bad.
“ Hey want to come with me Mike and his cousin to that ice place that just opened last month. Mike said he knows this girl that works there and I guess she gives him free ice cream. I think she is related to him or something like that, but knowing Mike he probably is.”
“ Sure, I have nothing better to do” I sighed as I unlocked my car.

Aria

After picking up Lily at school we went straight to the ice cream shop. The walls were neon colors there was huge bean bags chairs around in a circle in the middle of the store the rest was tables and chair except for the arcade that look like it was in a different room and within the arcade was the playground.
Kids of all ages where running to the arcade and standing in line. It was crowded. We waited in line for about fifteen minutes just for ice cream. They better be good was all I was thinking.
“Lily, how was your first day of school?” I had to talk louder than my normal speaking voice even though she was standing right next to me.
“ It was really fun, Emily said that I was her new best friend and that I could spend the night at her house.”
“Is Emily one of the girls in your class.” I guessed
“ Yes! How was you first day of school?” she smiled sounding older than she was. This always scared me, I wanted to keep her my little sister forever.
“ It was okay, I meet a few people and they where kind and the school had pretty nice bathrooms.” She smiled at this. My sister had a fascination with bathrooms every where we when she had to see the bathroom. Which became our families inside joke. But that family is torn and there is nothing that would make me laugh about it. Not now, not ever.
When I was still paying for the ice cream Lily was already running to the arcade her head in the sky like always. It happened so fast, all I could see was her dropping her ice cream and this guy picks it up offering his to her and she took it.
“Lily!” I ran after her
“Don’t talk to strangers or take anything from them.” I said almost hysterical, how many time has my parents told her this.
“ I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking, I should have asked you first if it was okay” He said, he was that boy in my first period class that sat next to me. Grayson.
“ Thanks that was kind of you to offer, but… that’s your ice cream she can have mine.” I said
“ no it’s okay I really didn’t want any, but who can turn down free ice cream. Oh and I didn’t lick it yet I swear.”
What was the harm in this, he was just helping out a kid and why punish him for trying to be a good citizen.
“ Lily what do you say to the kind man?” I pushed
“ Thank you!” as she licks her new ice cream with a wide grin across her cheeks.
“ Your welcome!” his voice was sweet and caring.
“ Grayson! We have to go,” one of his friend yells for him
“ Well, see you around” as he said
“ Thanks again.” I said back

***
“ Mom why do I have to come with you, I don’t even know them, and why do I have to wear a dress just to have dinner?”
I didn’t want to fake being happy around people I don’t know. I already felt tired, I just wanted to go to bed and hope to wake up and find that all of what has happened in the last three months was a long nightmare. But I’ve tried to pinch my self every day nothing ever changes and I should stop that it can’t be healthy people might think that I’ve gone mad.
“ Aria, quit arguing and just get ready.” she insisted
I search my closet for a dress to wear, I couldn’t decide between the white, one strapped cocktail dress or the purple strapless ruffled knee length one. I paused because I heard a buzzing noise, it’s my phone. I took it out of my backpack flipped it open.
“ Guess who got tickets two the Boys Like Girls concert?” Darcie was basically screaming in my ear
“ I don’t know ,who?” I said sarcastically
“ Your best friend in the whole wide world!” she mimicked my voice
“ How did Haley get the tickets? and I don‘t sound like that.” I said playing along
“ She better not be your best friend!… Because I could take someone else with me! I could find someone better to replace you.”
“ I Was just kidding Darcie! Can I call you later my mom is making me go to dinner at one of her old friends house, and I’m not ready yet or even found a dress to wear.”
“ Okay, call me tomorrow, don’t forget. Wear that purple ruffely one, it make your legs look great. ” Darcie yawned
“ Why do I need my leg to look great?” I asked laughing
“ Just in case you see any guys on your way.” she sad teasing
“ alright thanks, bye.” I forgotten how much I missed her, and how badly I needed her she one of the few, that know what I’m going through right now. I quickly got dressed and combed the tangles out of my hair then ran to the kitchen where my mom was fixing Lily’s dress.
“You look lovely honey.” my mom fixed my bow on the back and we headed out to the door.


Grayson
The doorbell rang and I hear Mary open the door to greet them. I started heading down the stairs in my sweats and t-shirt just to make my parents angry for not telling me we had guest coming.
I know they would yell at me in front of who every was here and show them their real side not the façade they put up in front of people.
When I saw Aria in her purple dress I quickly sprinted back to my room praying she didn’t see me. This girl is every where I turn whether I liked it or not .
I don’t know if I should go back down there just the way I was, because I really wanted my parents to blow a gasket or dress nicely to impress this girl who seem not interested in me. I thought to myself there would be plenty of opportunity to when my parents dinner some other night. I quickly got change in my gray long-sleeved button up shirt with my black pants. When I got down stairs everyone was standing in the sitting room talking.
“ There you are!” my mom said sounding caring like she missed me, but it as all an act to show that she was a good mother, I almost believed it myself but I knew better.
“ Sorry.” was all I could say
“ Grayson this Elizabeth Welch and her two daughters Aria and Lily.” She said pointing at each of them
“ Mommy that’s the man who gave me his ice cream” Lily squealed as she jumped up and down with excitement pointing at me.
“ You guys know each other?” my mom had a questioning look on her face.
“ Well I know Aria from school and I met Lily at BoBow’s ice cream shop, when she dropped her ice cream cone on the.” ground
“How nice of you to do such a thing” I mother emphasized on the word nice like it was hard for her to imagine, that word and me in the same sentence. We haven’t even had dinner yet and I could tell this was going to be a long night.
“ Can you pass the salad Grayson?” Mrs. Welch asked pointing to the bowl that was with in my reach her question had pulled me out of my own world of thoughts.
“ Yeah, sure” I quickly handed her the bowl hoping that she hadn’t been asking me for while, as I was wrapped up in my thoughts.
“ Aria how was your first day of school, meet any new friends” My mom asked finally something I wouldn’t mind listing too, I anticipated for her answer. She sighed with a quite huff. I could tell she didn’t like the idea of every one looking at her which is hard to understand because every girl I knew, love any and all attention they could get, whether they were good or bad.
“My first day of school was… good” she boded her head up and down it looked like she was trying to convince herself more than anything “and I did meet a couple of nice students” she looked back down to the strands of hair she was playing with between her finger.
“ I hear from your mother that you are a wonderful student, and that you want to become a doctor is that right?” my mother pushed. Aria smile and nodded to answer her question.
“ How about you Grayson?” I knew her words had a double meaning, the only reason she asked me was to sound polite in front of all her guest and that felt like being punched in my gut. Aria looked up glad that her portion of show and tell was over and that mine was just about to start.
“ It was good” I lied the only good thing about it was getting way from this house… and meeting Aria but I couldn’t thing about her now, obviously I’m not her type. She had goals and dreams all I had was rich parents. It was as simple as that, I was the bad boy and she was the good girl. No amount of wishing and hoping could change that so I should stop thinking about why she wants to become a doctor or why she doesn’t like people to give her the attention that she deserved, because all I wanted to do was gaze at her and I didn’t care if she didn’t want me too.
When dinner was over, everyone once again entered the sitting room to chat about old times but I just wanted old times to stay where they were, in the past. So I walked up the stair to my room trying to do my homework form English until I hear a soft knock at my door
“ Hello is this the bathroom, is someone in there?” Aria asked as she knock again but this time a little louder. I opened my door she looked genially surprised to see me so I laugh, as I look at her shacked face. Why was she so surprised this was my house she is bound to see me some where. Her shocked face quickly transferred to a glare taking my laugh the wrong way.
Whoa I quickly put my hands up before she turns away.
“I wasn’t laughing at you” I told her with a smile “I was not expecting to see you. Let alone you with your eyes almost popping out of your head” I laughed again. She didn’t find it at all funny, as her cheeks glowed red she was about to walk away but I stopped her by holding her wrist, her skin was so soft almost like silk beneath my touch.
“ I’m sorry if I hurt your feeling” I apologized for what, I didn’t know but I knew this was she wanted to hear “I can be a jerk sometimes” I say playful now, she laughed and the sound of it make me laugh along with her.
“ some times?” she added sarcastically she looked around beyond my shoulder.
“Do you want to come in” I was glad Mary cleaned my room because if she didn’t it would have made that question almost imposable for me to ask.
“I do have a bathroom in here if you still need one” I quickly regretted asking, because even to my own ears it sounded weird, to ask a girl I barley knew in to my room. Wanting her to say yes.
“There is also another one down the hall two doors down”
“ Um no I’m fine thank you” she said quietly “ I should go back downstairs, my mom is probably… wondering where I am.” I blew it I knew I had no chance. “ See you around school.” she smiled before turning to walk down the stair.


Aria

As soon as the door was shut, and we where home again I realized that I had a good time going to dinner and meeting the Rams family. The dinner was delicious and they weren’t as snobby as I thought they would be. But what surprised me most was seeing Garson, he was like a lost puppy I feel like he is following me around everywhere I go, of course I was just being dramatic. I was the one who came to his house so would that make me the lost puppy?
“Aria I forgot to tell you that your dad called…” my mom started to close the distance between use to see the reaction on my face .
“ Why did he call?” I said between my clenched teeth “ what he wasn’t done ripping our family apart, so he called to see if he missed anything that needed crushing?” All it took was those few word to make me wanted to hide from anything and every thing that would cause me to lose control of my emotion and show my weakness.
“ He was just remind me that he gets you girls this weekend. And you have to go this time no if and buts about it,” she said as she put her hand up to touch me, but I moved away quickly
“Honey your father loves you,” she tenderly held my shoulders with both hands as if she some how knew that I needed it. “he wants to see you. It’s not fair for him…” I ripped away from her touch “ NOT FAIR FOR HIM! What about us? Did he ever thing that his decision was fair for us!”
I ran to my room afraid to see what my moms face looked like, it wasn’t her I wanted to hurt but I couldn’t help but feel like I chipped a piece of her all ready torn heart.
I need to relax so I grab my sketching pad and my pencils and plopped them on my desk before I changed for bed. I haven’t drawn in such a long time. I feel it escaping me along with the Aria I once was. I’ve noticed that my drawings lately have been darker in shade and in meaning but I was doing less and less of it so I hardly care. Tonight I drew a heart bleeding in the dark with a long and deep cut in the middle and the only thing keeping it together was the hand that was squeezing it.
It was hard to fall a sleep that night all I could think about was having to go to my dads house over the weekend and how much I wasn’t looking forward in seeing his face.
I woke up to a warm bed, I pushed the heavy blanket way form my body it falls to the floor make a swooshing sound as it rubs against the tall bed I just laid there un able to get up from my own bed I was mentally and physically drained.
I sat in my desk cringing from all the voices that seems to get louder as the time passes, I tried to ignore them but my head had its own heart beat it felt like my brain was being pushed out though my ears.
“Hey Grayson” the girl that was also in my world history class walked to our desk with her low cut v necked shirt. One look at her and you can tell that she’s been around if you know what I mean. Even thought I had a killer headache I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation.
“I was wondering if you would like to come over to night… I’m having a little party with a few friends.“ she leaned in, closer to him “ So what do you say?” she said pushing out her chest a little, raveling more of her already exposed chest. I couldn’t believe what I just saw, how do women degrade themselves like this. I felt even sicker than before I can hear a bubbling from the pit of my stomach.
“ I have… other thing I have to do tonight.” wow this surprised me. This girl was practically throwing herself at him and he turned her down. Maybe there is more to him that what is on the out side. Don’t get me wrong he could be a male model if he wanted to, with his dark drown hair that waved because of its length and his icy blue eyes that would have any girl melt, at the sight of them. I know guys that look like him act like big jerks. I should know Darcie has only dated those types of guys and I have always have been there for her after it end badly. I told my self I would never fall for someone that would end up causing that much pain.
“ Like what other things?” she said backing off from his personal space and crossing her arms at her chest and gave him the died eye. A face the is so intimidating and scary it makes you wonder if she practices it ever night to get this full effect. Even though the look wasn’t amid at me I could feel its power from where I was sitting.
“ Look Courtney, you’re the one how ended it with me so I don’t get why your invited me to your party.” he said in a voice plane as day.
“ Fine then don’t come I didn’t want you to come anyway I was just… trying to be… nice.” she turned away before she could embarrass her self any more than she already had. I felt sorry for her.
“hey I forgot my book at my house can we share yours.” he said a few seconds after his one on one with his ex.
“ sure” what was I suppose to say no because you’re a player and people like you make me feel sick to my stomach.
I laid the book between us he scooted his chair closer. I really wish he didn’t, because all of the sudden my nose was filled with his cologne and he smelled so good it was hard to concentrate on any thing. I couldn’t stop breathing him in.
“ Aria!” Grayson said smiling waving his hand up and down in front of my face. “ Earth to Aria”
“ Yeah what?” I ask shaking away my thoughts of him and how mouth watering he smelled. “your starring out to space” he said amused I can feel my face get hotter from the attention he was giving me. And I could tell by the way his grin got wider from my reaction to his answer, that he knew it too.
“I m glad I amuse you.” I said sarcastically. How embarrassing he probably thought I was freak but I shouldn’t care of what he thought of me, because weather he was good looking or not I wont fall for his charm. Period.
During lunch I sit with a this really nice girl I met yesterday her name was Jade, she reminded me a little of my best friend Darcie the way she said what was on her mind and the way she could make me laugh at absolutely nothing. I’ve known Darcie since we where in fifth grade. That was year she accidentally got gum stuck in my hair because she thought it would match my earrings. I had to get it chopped right below my ear and to this day I refused to cut my hair any shorter than a trim, but we have been friends ever since. I couldn’t picture my life without her, she was there for me when I need her and same went for her. I was always the shy caterpillar and she was the social butterfly, but some how I have always been her shoulder to cry on.
“Aria? You keep blanking out are you okay?” Jade whispered in my ear. Man what’s going on with me today I hope I get better and soon.
“ Yeah, I m sorry” I said as I rub the temples of my head hoping it might help me concentrate.
“ Why are you apologizing to me?” she ask with a grin on her face, I shook my head
“ I don’t know.” I said laughing and she joined in, in my pointless laughter. When we stopped she nudged my arm and whispered to my ear
“Shane keep looking at you.” I turned to where she was facing. To where this guy is standing with a football in his hand, in front of a table full of girls with hearts in there eyes, drooling. “and I have heard rumors that he was asking a lot of stuff about you and…” she paused and covered her giggle “ and that he think your cute.” she had that same look in her eyes that the other girls at that table had and the way she talked about him as if he was the most important thing to her.
“ who is Shane?” I asked out of curiosity. How did he make all this girl turn in to mindless zombies at the sight of him?
“ who is Shane?” she said shaking her head bewildered by my question “only one of the hottest guys in school the captain of almost every team. I would die to be you right now.”
I wanted to say you would die if you where me right now, I didn’t want any more attention and why couldn’t anyone else see that. After I took another glace at his direction, he came with his posse of jocks to gather around where Jade and I are sitting with our lunches. I could hear Jade almost hyperventilating as he approached with a spring to his step as if he knew that we where just talking about him a few second ago. But from the look on his face it look like he expects everyone to. Shane blocked the space between me and Jade and had his back towards her as if she didn’t even exist just to talk to me. I couldn’t believe how cocky he was I didn’t care if he was the king of France or the captain of almost ever team, I didn‘t like his attitude not one bit.
“Hi I m Shane.” he said giving me a wink as he sat on the table with the football in his arm
“ Hi.” I said as I took a bite of my pizza, showing him I was not the lest interested.
“ Aria. That’s your name right?” he asked to fill the awkward silent between us.
“ Yup” I could tell he didn’t like my one word responses, he was use to all of the girls drooling over him but not this one. I was smarter I know that guys like him only want one thing and I was not going to be another notch on his bed post to go along with his other trophies.
“ I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me this Saturday night?” he was completely serious, now almost everyone in the cafeteria was looking at us
“I can’t I’m going out of town this weekend.” what I said was true, I just didn’t add the fact that I didn’t want to go on a date with him either.
“ Ohhh okay.” his face fell, I guess he has never been turned down before. I should tell him that sometimes life is never fair.


Grayson

I can’t believe it, I don’t thing I have ever seen Shane get turn down by anyone. I couldn’t help but laugh as Aria rejected him in front the whole school during lunch today, and the look on his face was priceless I wish I would have taken a picture.
Shane used to be one of my best friends, but we have drifted apart after he became the captain of almost every team the school offered male students. He was to busy for anyone but him self.
He thought he was better than everyone else and I couldn’t stand to be any where near him. all you heard come out his mouth was how many more push ups he could do and how he could easily lap you. It drove me crazy.
Not no mention stealing Courtney, my ex girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me with him. She dumped me. It was mind boggling that I was the one faithful to her but she was the one who easily kicked me to the curb. I thought I loved her, good thing I didn’t say it to her because I know now that she didn’t feel the same way. Now I know that love and lust are two completely different things.
Aria was on my mind walking to my physics class, why did she turn him down? Maybe she had a boyfriend back where she use to live. I mean she had to be taken. That means she’s dedicated to him. I wish I would be able to say that about Courtney when she was mine, but she jumped on the Shane train as fast as she could without even looking back.
I should stop thinking about her, she is in a relationship and I don’t want to be the Shane that breaks them apart.
An emotion wash over me I couldn’t help but feel jealous for this guy I have never meet, that carried with him Arias heart.
I spot Shane talking to his servants I mean “friends” in the hall
“Dude I can’t believe she turned me down. I mean I m the hottest guy in school what more could she want?” Shane asked his group of mindless zombies.
“She must be stupid” one of the guys in a letterman’s jacket said trying to cheer Shane up. The rest of the group nodded agreeing. This mad me mad none of them knew her but they act like the did.
“She has more brains than all of you guys put together.” I said as I walked by. That comment was suppose to stay inside of my head I didn’t know why I was defending her she wasn’t mine to protect.
“What did you say Rams?” the same guy that just called Aria stupid asked pushing his way towards me. I tried too pretend that I didn’t hear him because I really didn’t need a fight on the second day of school.
“Let it go Nick. He is not worth getting kick out of the football team for.” Shane like the power he had over them and used them often.
“ Your lucky Rams. I would have kicked your …” Nick turned away, as the Shane group went on their way.
Yeah right everyone knew that I was a fighter and I fought better than anyone. That was the only thing I was good at. Too bad that my parents did not find beating the crap out of someone was something to brag about around their snooty friends.
I lost track of how many times my parents had to get me from school for being in a fight. Them yelling at me on the ride home was the most parenting they did in a year.
I would like to think that they yelled because they cared about me some where deep deep down so I would look forward to being sent home just to hear them speak to me like I actually mattered to them. Like they wanted something better for me.
I don’t fight anymore it only reminds me of how sad my childhood was and that my parents didn’t love me at all.

***


The last bell rings, yes school was finally done, right now nothing sounded better than the noise of freedom. I walked out world history following the mob of people stopping at their lockers, going out the doors and running to the bus.
I saw Nick bump Aria making her drop all her stuff on the floor. He just left her there. She looked at the floor where all her notebooks were scattered and took a heavy breathe and kneeled down to pick them up. I ran and grabbed what I could, I scanned the loss paper that fell out of one of the notebooks it was a drawing of a broken heart being squashed by a hand. It was well detailed but dark.
“Wow! Did you draw this?” I asked pointing to the picture
“Because if you did you are really talented. Wow!” she blushed, the color of cheeks bring out her plump lips.
“Thank you” she said shyly taking the books from my hand, she looked down not meeting my eyes. I noticed that the hall wasn’t as packed as it before. where did everyone go?
“ I m sorry about that Nick’s not the kindest kid around” I said hoping to start a conversation with her.
“ Why did you help me?” her question caught me off guard, to be truthful I didn’t know.
“ I don’t know” I told her “maybe because I know how it feels to move to a different school.” and maybe secretly I wanted you to like me, helping you out would be my brownie points.
“ Well whatever the reason is, thank you.” she got up and offering me her hand and I took it, it was not because I needed it but because I wanted it.
“ so why did you move to------?” I asked as we walked out the door to the parking lots
“It’s difficult to understand… my life is complicated right now and…” she paused, looking at her you could tell that there was sadness in her eyes which she closed as she took in a big breath.
“ you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too.” she opened her eyes a tear slowly fell down on her left cheek.
“You know you’re the first one to ask me what I wanted since I we moved here?” she wiped the tear off her face and looked down at her feet.
“ Why won’t you look at me?” I asked before thinking, I took my hand and raised her chin making her look at me straight in the eyes. She smiles
“Why do you ask so many questions?”
“ Because… I want to know you better.” I smiled back we where standing so close I could hear her breathing go up when I answered her question.
“ Well… I should go.” she said braking the silent. Those where the last words wanted to hear coming out between her lips. Did my words make her uncomfortable to a point where she felt like she a had to leave. I have never had this much trouble trying to talk to a girl.
“ Oh okay. See you around” I said not knowing what else to say but didn’t move an inch away from her. She held her notebooks closer to her chest holding something back.
“ Alright bye.” she glanced to her car and back “Thank you again.” and got in her car and drove away. Leaving me with millions of questions for her, question I know won’t ever be answered.


Aria
“How was school?” my mom ask bringing the groceries from her car to the kitchen
“ It was okay, I guess” I tried to hide the fact that just a few minutes ago I was alone face to face with the boy that made my heart skip a beat. Whether it was real or not, I still can’t believe what happened between us. I let my cement wall fall in front of him and cried but yet he didn’t run off or laugh, he understood even though I didn’t say a word of what I was going through.
“ You look too happy to have an “okay” day” she smile and put the brown paper bags on the counter and started taking out oranges “ Is it because of a boy?” she turned a looked at me straight in the face, I was not good at lying especially not to my mom.
I didn’t want the reason of having a good day was because of a boy I swore that I would not fall for his charm I was so sure of it the beginning of the day but now I’m not as convinced.
I worried, was it this easy to brake the promise I made to myself. I will not be like my mom or best friend and fall for guy that end up being more problems than they are worth.
How do I know that he will hurt me? How do I know if he likes me at all, maybe he was just trying to be nice and I took it the wrong way and made a total fool of myself.
“No it’s not because of a boy. I made a new friend today her” extra infancies on the word her “name is Jade” now that I got myself out of that question, all my thoughts where filled with what should I do to stay as far way form Grayson, because now I know that he was my weakness.
September 8,2010
Hey it’s me again. Two more days and until the weekend. Two more days until I have to see my dad and two more days until the first week of school is over. In just the course of two days I went from the new girl, to the girl Shane Thomson wants to date, so a lot can happen in two days. In those two days I went from the idea that I could carry on the year without a lot of attention to wanting to quit school all together.
I miss my old school, my old friends. I missed the old me the one how wasn’t afraid to live in the moment, to live life to the fullest, but she left a long time ago.
I promised that I would not fall for any guy, but today my loyalty to myself was tested. Grayson, I should have stayed away from him. Why
1) All boys are bad
2) You can’t trust a boy
3) I’m not ready for a relationship.
It’s kind of embarrassing, but I have never had a real relationship or a real kiss. I didn’t want to remember my first kiss to be during a game of spin the bottle in 7th grade with Kyle Smith, he bruised my nose because he was trying to get a better angel. So I don’t count that one. You would ask why I hadn’t had any other chances, I’m 17 what have I been doing since puberty kicked in? Well for me succeeding in school, art and soccer was every thing, my schedule was to busy for boys. I’m glad because boys only rune every thing.
I hope tomorrow is a better day, less boys and more learning!
I can’t believe that in just two days I will be forced to visit the man that is the cause of all my problems, that made heartache from ever possible angle. I know I’m not ready to face him, to pretend that everything is just like how it use to be. Lily is so happy she misses him dearly. She talks about him all the time not only is it annoying but it’s painful to see that she still doesn’t understand what going on.
I need someone to talk to right now to help cheer me on for this weekend. I grab my cell phone and press the number I know by heart.


Grayson
When my house came in to view I noticed all the lights from every open windows shinning as stars in the dark sky, welcome me home. Both cars parked in their usually secluded space, surprised that my parents where actually home I jogged to the front door. As I enter the kitchen both my parent where running around looking like chickens with their head chopped off. I had no idea what they were doing and was afraid to ask even the simplest of question, that should sound like a normal conversation but even in my head it sounded weird coming from my mouth to their ears.
“You guys are home?” it wasn’t a statement like I was going for, but more like a question. By the look on my fathers face I knew that he took my question in the wrong way like he always does and over reacts.
“ I’m sorry that I work my butt off…” his eye getting wide was he shakes his head. “ to support the way we live which means not able to come home when ever I want.” I can’t believe that he is blowing this way over paportion. All I did was ask a question, he could have just answered, but no he wanted an argument.
“ Richard we are already late for dinner let’s get going.” my mothers voice softens the tension in the room, as she grabs his hand pulling him back. They leave a few minutes later. “ what you guys are leaving?” I said sarcastically loud enough from the kitchen so they could hear me crystal clear as they close the door behind them. For once why couldn’t they act like they had a son waiting for them at home for once could they treat me as if I mean the world to them. It’s a simple wish that shouldn’t have to be asked but there it lingers on the tip of my tongue and it burned.
All of a sudden this is the last place I want to be in, my feet felt sluggish I couldn’t run fast enough through the door. I didn’t even look up at Mary asking me a question that I didn’t want to hear. I hate every thing that reminds me that I’m unloved this house is neon sigh screaming exactly that.
I get in my car, it takes all the energy I had not to scream from the top of my lungs, cursing at everyone and there mothers. What had I done wrong why don’t they see that there the ones pushing away not me. That their the ones turning me in to this hateful person I am.
I had to leave this drive way before I decide to do something that I can’t take back like slamming my car in to the garage. That would have gotten their attention. I smiled at the thought of their faces as the arrive home from where ever the go to avoid me and see a hole the size of a car, not just any car my car, on the garage door. I almost did it too, but I wanted to leave this place not get stuck in it.
I didn’t know were to go, but I drove anyway. Hoping it will cool me down I roll the windows wide open and breath it the smell of the night air, crisp and clean. Drowning my thoughts of my parents.
I can hear the music blaring from a block away, as I ring the doorbell, I regret it the moment the door opened.
“OMG!… Grayson?… what are you doing here…” she glanced behind me seeing if I brought others with me “I mean you surprised me.” I can smell the alcohol in her breath one whiff I can tell she had one to many.
“ I was just around. And had nothing to do…ummm” I turned feeling stupid for ever thinking of even coming here. She laughed as if I had just said the funniest thing she has ever herd.
“ No don’t goooo….” she covered her mouth and made a face that looked like she was disgusted. I’ve seen her look like this many times. She was about to throw up. I don’t get why she drinks at all she can never keep it down but I guess she hasn’t learned. It strange that it’s only now that I notice this about her maybe it’s because when she drunk I was always there with her in the same condition.
She tugged me along through the living room, so much for
inviting only a couple of people, it looked like she invited half of
the school. She was staggering, I had to help her balance or she would have fallen flat on her face and the five inch heels she was wearing wasn’t helping either.
“ Want some… thing to drink?” her eyes where half open as
she ran into her counter and giggled. I thought about her question and decided that I shouldn’t. Looking at her now with wondering eyes and made up my mind, no drinks for me tonight. She took my glare the wrong way and started wrapping her arms around my neck, inching her face closer to mine, the smell of her breath was so strong I had to hold my breath as I push her away.
“Do you want to go some place more… privet?” she asked with a smile that was lopsided. No I want you off me was what I was thinking. How does she think that she could throw herself at me and I would just take her back and the fact that she wasn’t even sober.
“ Courtney stop!” I yelled as she tried to grab the button of my pants.
“ You’re no fun” her voice sounded like it belong to a seven year old as she crossed her arm around her chest. What she always did when she didn’t get her way.
“Courtney I think you have had enough to drink” I said to her as she was about to grab another can of beer. “ you can’t even walk straight” I said as if I could stop her. She just looked at me with glassy eyes and a frustrated wrinkle on her forehead.
“ You can’t tell me what to do I’m Courtney Greene!” as if that was suppose to excuse her from being drunk. She opened the can, bringing the rim to her lips she took one big swigs. That’s all I took to get the same disgusted look to come on her face, but this time the vomit followed.
As I looked around the room for help, everyone seemed care free. Laughing, drinking, talking to busy to notice. They where in their own world, a normal one where I wish I lived in, but wishes don’t come true no amount of blown candles can give you what your hearts desire. Not even a handful of falling stars will ever make you happy.
I left right after cleaning Courtney’s mess, I wondered if anyone even saw I was there or cared. I just wanted someplace to go someone to talk too, something to do. But being me, that was a difficult request to ask.
I slept in my car that night only returning home at seven in the morning to take a shower and change for school. Even though school was far way from what I wanted to do today. When I came home my parents weren’t there which didn’t surprise me. They probably didn’t even notice I was gone or cared. I was about to go through the door and start heading for my car but I herd a cry coming from behind me I turned to see who it was and why. Mary was behind me with streams running down her cheeks covering it, like crystals of light.
This scared me, I had never seen Mary cry in all the years she has been with us, she was a strong woman. Coming to this country all alone to make money for her family, working as hard as she could to provide for her children. She practically raised me, feed me, every thing that I needed not only because it was her job but I truly felt that she cared about me like my parent should have.
I remember when I was younger every time got sent to my room, she would always sneak in and wipe my tears way telling me that my parents loved me. She would sing me to sleep with her angelic voice even thought I couldn’t understand what she was singing about. I pretend that she was the mother I was born too and that always brought a smile to my face but also sadness in the realization that not all parent where like mine. That there was love in family, just not in mine.
“ Oh Grayson!” she wipe her tears with the back of her hand
“ I just found out that my youngest daughter Maria has brain cancer” she could barley get the words out before she stated to choke in the ending making her cry even more. All thoughts years of her comforting me, telling every thing was going to be okay, it was my turn to try to comfort her. I didn’t know what to say or do this wasn’t the same thing as her comforting me, my reasons of crying seem like a pebble compared to her pains which was a bolder. All I could do was hold her tight showing her the kindness that she had always given to me, not because it was a job but because of the kind of person she was. A loving mother.
I walk to my first period, think of Mary. Why does it seem like the people who don’t deserver anything get all and people like Mary where born to suffer? Why her? What had she ever done to get this punch to the face? The bell rings and the class calms down as Ms. Hale stared talking.
“ I know you guys have heard from the seniors last year about the horrendous research essay that they had to worked on for a whole month. You also might have heard that it was worth fifty percent of their grade. Well guess what? We are doing the same thing this year… but wait it gets better this year you will work with a partner I signed you.” everyone was restless, looking around the room trying to imagine the worst possible outcome of who they might have to work with for a whole month.
If it was yesterday I would have done the same, but today I could careless if the world ending in front of me. Life was not fair and why should it be today. The more you get your hopes up, the more it hurts when it come tumbling down.
“ Aria your partner is… Grayson” I didn’t even notice until now that Ms. Hale had been calling everyone’s partner. I looked at Aria sitting across me raising her hand.
“ Ms. Hale why can’t we pick our own partners? I mean if this essay is worth fifty percent of our grade then we should be able to try to find partners that work well with each other.” Arias words stung like thousands of paper cuts, as if I needed it. Today hasn’t been the best but now it just reached a whole new level of awfulness. So she believes that I wouldn’t be a good enough partner for her. Well maybe I didn’t want to be hers.
“ Aria I m the teacher and if I intended you to pick your own partners then I would have said so. You will just have to deal with it.” score one for Ms. Hale. I hear Aria sigh besides me, in defeat. I didn’t want to look at her, she would have notice that her word had hurt me. I didn’t want to show her that I was weak, that words could defeat me.
“ …So for the next hour you and your partner will try to find a topic to write your essay on an ethical dilemma.” Ms. Hale when back to her desk and blocked every thing else out.
“So what do you think we should write the essay on?” Aria turned to look at me. I wanted to say you’re a dilemma, but I don‘t think I would want to write about you, to get back at her. As soon as I looked at her my anger lifted away. She was wearing a white sweater that shows her bare shoulders and her silky hair covering her left shoulder tempting me to move it away to see what she was hiding. Her eyes bigger and greener than yesterday. She looked Breath taking.


Aria
Grayson still hasn’t answered my question, but he was just looking at me with his icy blue eyes wide with shock. I hope there wasn’t anything on my face because that would have been very embarrassing and maybe he was mad about me asking Ms. Hale to change partners.
Being partners with Grayson would mean spend a lot of time together but just yesterday I told my self to say as far as I could from him or any guy. I should trust myself more just because he was my partner doesn’t mean that anything more will happen.
“I don’t know. Anything you want I guess.” he said in a voice so sad I expected a tear to fallow it but it didn‘t . A part of me wanted to ask why he sound this away. I shouldn’t push because I know it will end badly if I get to close.
“ He speaks!” I said sarcastically hoping to change his mood. If I had to be his partner for the next month I might as well be a pleasant one. He forced a smile on his face.
“ Well we should think of some thing we both agree on.” I let him think for a while. My mind went wondering between our silence. I was wondering why he was so sad, I know I shouldn’t have let myself but it was to late to think of the consequence of it.
Before I knew it the bell rings telling me, I have five minute to get to your next class. I looked at the clock confused had that much time passed where Grayson and I stayed quite. Couldn’t be, it felt like less than a minute ago, but the clock was the evidence. I turned but Grayson was already gone. He left in his seat a paper filled front to back with ethical dilemmas.
I searched the whole room for Grayson, he had calculus with me too. I wanted thank him for all the work he had done and apologize for blanking out for almost an hour leaving him to think of the dilemmas by himself. He was talking to one of his friends,
“…Yeah that was so funny I can’t believe I saw it with my own eyes.” Grayson’s friend started to laugh. Grayson didn’t find whatever they where talking about funny at all from the look on his face.
“Hey Grayson” I said, taking his friends momentary silence as cue to start a conversation.
“ well hello… my name is Travis.” he leaned back and grinned.
“What might your name be?” Travis said still smiling “ And I’m not telling you this because I want to impress you or anything but Im batman.” as cheesy as that was I had to give him credit, that was a pretty good pick up line.
“ Maybe if you were wearing the mask I would have be conviced” I smiled back, feeling clever at my comeback. Grayson laughed along with Travis, which mad me feel better because it wasn‘t me that caused that sadness to flash in his blue eyes .
“Travis this is Aria.” When Grayson said my name my body when numb for one second and then the next second I felt a cold fire burning beneath my skin. I have never felt this feeling and I don’t know what it means. But I can’t be good.
“ Nice to meet you Travis.” I say, to stop my self from thinking how badly I wanted him to say my name again.
“ So…” Grayson cleared his throat “ is there something we could help you with?” He asked
“ I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I defiantly blanked out during English today and thanks for the ideas.” I said apologetically showing him the paper he filled out
“No problem partner.” He said as soon as the second bell rang my cue to get to my desk.
I guess someone shoved a small pencil in the pencil sharpener and it won’t come out. Now we had to listen to Mrs. Flynn talk about the proper way to use the pencil sharpener for about fifth teen minutes as if we where still in elementary school. From the way Travis coughed to cover his laughs as Mrs. Flynn preached to use about the importance of treating thing with respect I would have blamed him form murdering the pencil sharpener. Every thing about him screamed guilty.
Grayson wasn’t laughing along with Travis but staring blackly somewhere else . There was something eating at him from the inside. If I was his friend I could have ask what, but I m not even sure what we were. Probably just partners. That should be enough right? Then why do I feel so empty.
For the rest of the period I worked hard in trying to finish the class work and the homework during class. I might be good at math but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy doing it on my spare time. And I would rather fill my mind with numbing numbers instead of wondering to much about Grayson.
When I entered the cafeteria everyone was looking and pointing in my direction I pretended not to notice but it was killing me. What where they saying behind my back, whatever it was I hope it isn‘t as bad as it looked.
“Aria” Jade wave here hand over a crowd of faces. “over here!” She patted the empty seat next to her. This wasn’t the same seats we sat in yesterday this table was crowded and filled with laughter. It was then that I noticed that she was sitting in Shane table. All of them look so fake. With smiles plastered on their faces. Obviously they live in la la land because if they where in the real world they wouldn’t be this happy.
I sat down next to her dreading this feeling of being different.
“why are we sitting here?” I ask quietly enough just for her to hear.
“what do you mean?” she asked she looked furious. This is not what I wanted, to push away the one friend I had here.
“I just wanted to know why the change in seats?” I asked hoping to change the mood. She started to laugh this weird and fake laugh, just like everyone around. She wasn’t what I thought she was she was defiantly nothing like Darcie.
“Aria you are sooooo funny!” she said louder than necessary looking around to see if she had gotten anybody’s attention.
“Because Shane asked me too.” she said batting her eyes as if that was the answer to everything. I had to get out of here before lose all my sanity. I sprinted away, not looking back, not care what they thought about me because they weren’t important.
I ran faster once I reached the doors that lead me out side. Once I opened the door the air crisp and cold replace the hot stems that filled my lungs. Like surfacing after holding your breath a minute longer than what you could. It helped numb my mind. I barely feel my leg move agents each other as if they didn’t know any thing else besides running. Once the cold wind hit my face I closed my eye. Wishing I was alone. I didn’t care whatever happened to me, but I was going to run away from anything and everything that made me feel.
Some thing hit me hard knocking the air out of my lungs forcing me to fall on the lumpy ground. I still haven’t opened my eyes. Could you get hit by a parked car?
“Aria why did you tackle me down?” a voice from under me asked confused. I couldn’t breathe let along answer his question. I didn’t have the power to get off of him. I wished that I would have hit the parked car rather that be on top of Grayson right now, that would have be less embarrassing, less explanation.


Grayson
Aria finally let out a hard breath, opening her eyes wide with shocked. I wasn’t mad at her for forcing me to the ground I knew she didn’t do it on purpose. I saw her running from a distance but I thought she would have stopped in front of me, or would have gone around me. I guess that her running over me didn’t come to my mind until that second she was within my reach her eyes closed charging towards me with all her might and even then I didn‘t flinch away. It was kind of funny an a weird way that maybe I wanted to be tackled to the ground by her. I know one thing for sure, it felt nice to be so close to her. I could smell her hair as it wiped my face, sweet and flowery. the feeling of her hearting beat against my chest it felt so natural and right that I wouldn’t have mind if we stayed that way until we fell a sleep to the sound of our hearts syncing to the beat of the other.
“ Oh Grayson… I m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hit you I swear! Are you okay! I so sorry!” Aria looked frantic
“Yeah I m fine. How about you?” I was lying I was more than fine.
“You should tryout for the football team” I said reassuring her that I was fine as I rub my back playing with her and form the way she smiled I knew that every thing was alright. at this moment anyway.
“ Maybe I should.” she said doubtful looking at something in the distance then shook her head as if answering a question that hadn’t been asked.
“Look Grayson” her voice serious and hard with a hint sadness in a way I’ve never heard someone speak before. She closed her beautiful eyes, such vivid shades of green so unforgettable. That my heart ached to see them. My heart also ached at what she might say next.
“ I don’t know why but it feels like we’re being pushed together. Ever since I started school your everywhere I am, maybe it’s a sign. Maybe not but…” her voice softened and trailed off in the ending. I don’t believe what I’m hearing right now it wasn’t just me feeling this.
“But what?” I said not even thinking of what I had just asked but the urge of knowing how she felt about me, even if the chances were slim I wanted to know… there’s still hope to a hopeless man. She parted her lips as if to answer the question then quickly locked them closed not wanting to speak another word. Do I really want her to answer the question, would it only lead to something that could bury me with words?
“Aria?” I wanted her to end my hope like everything else. I wanted her to make me forget about her. Everything about her.
“ All I could ever be to you is just a friend.” her eyes were pledging me to say yes but her voice, her voice wanted me to leave. But her eyes had the power over me, being just her friend I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist thinking of her as more than a friend but I will endure because even though I barely knew her I already felt that I needed her.
“ Then a friend I will be.” I half forced a smile on my face I hoped it looked convincing. I was happy that at least we where some thing, friends would be good enough for me.
“ Thanks Grayson. You don’t know how much I need a friend right now.” she tucked the lose strands of hair behind her ear and smiled and being her friend I smiled back.
“ So… now that we’re friend can I ask something?” I said quietly she raised one of her perfectly arched eye brow and nodded slowly.
“What are you doing running around tackling people to the ground?” I asked teasingly
“ What? that’s not the way you say ‘I want to be your friend’ over here. Weird I thought it was the international sign for friendship.” she said sarcastically
“ No really?” I asked again
“I needed fresh air.” she didn’t look convincing but I thought that if she didn’t feel like sharing than I wouldn’t push her. It was now that I noticed that we were still on the ground. It was nice talking to her, I forget where I am and how I didn’t have to force to smile at the appropriate time. I could be just me, she didn’t expect so much from me because she barely knows me.
“ Well can I ask you something… since we’re friends and all?” she asked with a hint of smile in her voice.
“ Sure” I could help but smile back.
“ what are doing here? I mean you asked what I was doing running around hurting people but why are you here out side alone… an easy target for someone like me.” she asked not looking at my eyes but something beyond them.
“I needed fresh air” I said quoting her. The truth was I liked to be away form the big crowd when ever I had the chance. They all seem so happy so unreal it made me feel so alone. Outside I could think without a thousand of voices chirping in the background. I could breath without the smell of everyone crushed together in one room. Outside I didn’t have to answer peoples pointless question, I didn’t have to fake a halfhearted laugh to please others around me, outside I could me just me and be content.
“ Fresh air huh?” she asked questionably
“ Yes as fresh as it gets. And it free too.” just then her stomach grumbled so loud you couldn’t help but notice. Her cheeks turn rose red as she bowed her head in embarrassment. She let out a quite nevus giggle .
“ Are you hungry?” I asked dumbly
“ My stomach seem to think so” she said as she patted it with a smile.


Aria
When Garson and I walked in the cafeteria together all eyes where on us. it didn’t help that there was only ten minutes left of launch and there wasn’t anyone standing in the lines or entering the room besides us. I glanced at Grayson from the corner of my eyes he didn’t seem to notice or care that everyone had their bug eyes glued to our face. This was a bad idea, I didn’t know how bad until now; the very moment I looked around and realize that look on peoples faces was pity most of them any way some were smiling at the gossip that this would bring and some had a smiles on there face as if this was a joke. I stood there caught up in my thoughts of the pros and cons of what I let happened. of course everyone would be looking, that seemed like my luck lately but I wanted to yell at them the kids that were gawking at us We are just friends! So stop looking at me like that. But I didn’t.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 27.03.2011

Alle Rechte vorbehalten