A Never Ending Reckless Fight

The mouse hit the rat in the head.
This caused the rat to hit the cat in the head.
Which then caused the cat to hit the dog in the head.
But none of this wouldn't have happened
If only the mouse didn't hit the rat in the head
But what drove the mouse to hit the rat in the head?

Before the mouse hit the rat in the head
And the rat hit the cat
And the cat hit the dog
The cow hit the mouse in the head
But way before the cow hit the mouse
The horse hit the cow
And the dog hit the horse
All before the mouse hit the rat

So, the dog started it all
But the dog only hit the horse because the cat hit the dog
I guess all of this hitting started way back
Never ending war

In the corner a tiny flea laughed
He laughed because he bit the animals
So, they all began fighting each other thinking the other did it
All of this from one tiny bite
And one tiny naughty flea

A never ending reckless fight

How the Color Orange was Made

Once upon an hour there was a red moose
This particular moose ate a yellow fly
The fly you see dared the moose to eat him
"I dare you toe eat me!" he cried, surely to die

A minute after swallowing the fly
The moose began to go so high
High in red and high in yellow
Soon he was a peculiar color

This particular color was never invented
There was no word to describe it
The moose felt as if he was demented
He felt that he was going out of his wit

A huge crowd began to dawn upon the creature
There stood all kinds of yellows reds and blues
All kinds of amazing different hues
But no one was the color of the poor poor moose

"What color is that?" A silly old goose was the first to cry
"Why, I do believe it's a hue of red!" An old red cat said
"No, no, it's a hue of yeller!" shouted a wise goat
No one was certain of the color of the moose

Then came the fly, flying out the moose's nose
"He's orange!" yelled the fly and ending everyone's woes

Now it's been years, centuries, and decades since that hour
Since that hour a lot was discovered about color
This particular story is about how the color orange was made

Nursery Rhymes (With a Twist)

Jack and Jill Jane and Josh
Jane and Josh jogged up the mountain to fetch a pail of goat milk
Jane fell down and broke her leg
And Josh came tumbling after
Up got Jane and home she hopped
As fast as she could caper
She went to bed and bound her leg
With salt and water vapor

The Itsy Bitsy Spider The Big Hairy Spider
The big hairy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain but it didn't slip the spider out
Out came the sun and time for evaporation
Now the big hair spider was stuck forever and ever

Hey Diddle Diddle Hey, Sizzle Sizzle
Hey, sizzle, sizzle
The dog and the drizzle
The cow jumped over Pluto
The little cat laughed
To see such fun
And the remote ran away with the T.V.

Hickory Dickory Dock Hickory Mickory Mock
Hickory mickory mock
The rat ran up the wok
The wok struck heat
The rat ran down
Hickory mickory mock

The Living Doll

I was prancing along the side of the wall
When I saw a big fat doll
It hopped along a huge bouncy ball
It wore a cruel red shawl

It's eyes was piercing black
In one of the pupils there was a crack
On me she did attack
I tried my best to hit and smack

I grabbed her arm and snatched
She took it back and reattached
Somehow, some way, it got back patched
But the arm in comparison to the other was mismatched


So, here we was, all in a brawl
Just me, myself, I, and that doll
"Help! Help! Help!" I called
That's when I saw my friend Paul

Paul came over and ended the fight
I was just glad that he thought so bright
I pictured armor shining on my brave knight
Armor that that doll could not bite


The doll ran off to unknown places
She didn't even leave one little trace
Out in the world to meet unknown races
I never would forget the memory of her face

Point of View

This is a poem dedicated to writing
Well, dedicated to point of view
I hope this intro is quite inviting
I hope you find everything to be true

Now, let me tell you about point of view
There's the first person
This is when you use the words I, me, or our
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out a star
Let me dumb it down, I am the main character

Now, here's a different point of view
Second person
It's when you use the words you're, your, and you
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out anew
Let me dumb it down, you are the main character

Finally, the last point of view
Third person
It's when you use the words he, them, and they
If used the wrong way you might make your writings worsen
After reading this you'll come out a better way
Let me dumb it down, him or her are the main characters

You have come to the end of this poem
I hope you're all filled with emotion
Did you find my intro inviting?
Either way, trust me, I'm smiling.

What Makes a Poem Humorous

I am in the mood to write
So writing am I doing
I'm not in the mood to write
A book, chapter, or story, no
I am in the mood to write poems
Silly poems
I hope you find them quite humorous

Wait, wait, wait, I must stop and ask this question
What makes a poem humorous?
Well, as you might know
And know very well
Every person has different humor
Some are not very swell

Some people like dirty humor
Ever hear a dirty joke?
Some people enjoy dark humor
Vampires, werewolves, ghosts
Some like no humor at all
Strict, strict, strict!
Rules, rules, rules!
While some, furthermore, likes good old fashioned jokes

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, someone dirty might answer like this
My, well, I do not wish to say, for I am only a 14 year old girl
But the word starts with a p, *wink wink*

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
A dark person might answer like this
Your soul
Or maybe they'll just stare at the door

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, someone who has no humor although it might be a humorous answer
Will answer like this
Me! Now open the door!

Knock Knock?
Answer a question with a question
Who's there?
Now, a good old fashioned jokes person, or clown may answer this way
The chicken!

So, as you see above you
Everyone has different humor
But may I ask the question again
What makes a poem humorous?
Or better yet, anything

Please note
I am not trying to be judgmental
I am simply writing my thoughts
So, please don't hate me altogether
For, my brain told me what to write
I guess you should hate my brain, it doesn't exactly bring light

Now, I just thought of another question
What makes a poem a poem?
Maybe I'll answer this one
After I figure out what makes a poem humorous

A Grand Excuse

The giant frog monster thing
Oh what joy did he not bring
It grabbed me by my pink dress
It wanted to eat me, I guess
My parents were shooting
I was hollering and hooting

They shot at her stomach
She was as big as a hummock
Blood trickled down
But soon we'll run her out of town

They shot at her arm
We should lock her up in a funny farm
Blood trickled to the floor
This is one event full of gore

Finally they shot her in a vulnerable place
Down she went but still held on to my lace
My parents pried me from her cold dead hands
I gave them a hug that was oh so grand

So, this is why I didn’t show up for school
Please dear teacher, I didn't break the rules
This grand excuse is very true
Oh please! Not detention! Boo! Hoo! Hoo!

A Great Bubble Disgrace

I will not stop blowing
I'm on the path to a world record
I'll blow and blow until my mouth fall off
I'm starting to get bored

Soon the bubble was as big as my head
But I blew, I blew, I blew still more
Sleep began to overcome me
I started to dread
I was practically beginning to snore

But still I kept blowing
Blowing my breath into the gum
I dared not to stop pursuing
I began to get pretty glum

Pop! Went the bubble
And my world record
I searched for my face
Underneath all the pink rubble

I fell asleep with pink gum on my face
What's the point?
I'm already a great bubble disgrace
I felt someone carrying me
They popped me on my bed and silently embraced
I suddenly fell into a deep deep sleep
Unaware of my recent failure, I saw prancing sheeps

A Thousand Word Circle

A picture's worth a thousand words
So is a thousand words worth a picture?
Can one really write a thousand words about a picture?
What if the picture is of a circle?
Can a thousand words describe a circle?
Let's try

Circle
Curved
One never-ending line
This is describing a circle

Round
A shape
No sides
This is describing a circle

Cookie
Doughnut
Bagel
This is describing a circle

Pizza
Fan
Button
This is describing a circle

An O
Door knob


It's a sad day when a writer runs out of words
The question goes unanswered
Can a thousand words describe a circle?

Eyebrows

Child-Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
Mother-I suppose so
Child-But they barely even blow in the air
Mother-But it's hair on your face
Child-I think they're just there to take up space
Mother-You know what? Go ask your teacher
Child-Why won't you answer my question about this marvelous feature?
Mother-I don't know the answer, now leave me be
Child-If you answer my question then I'll let you go free
Mother-Just go ask your father
Father-Don't ask me! I'm too tired to bother!
Child-Does anybody know the answer to my question?
Child-You know, as parents, you all don't make good impressions

Jack Cracked A Back

There once was a boy named Jack
One day he walked to the park
As he was walking, he stepped on a crack
After the park he walked right on home
He ran into the house eager to eat lunch
"Mom?" He called, and immediately found her
She was in the kitchen, but all in a hunch
He didn't know what to do about this situation
He dialed 911 on the cordless phone
"Something's wrong with my mother!"
He gave his name and address in a groan
'We'll be right over," replied a woman's voice
He heard an ambulance screeching down the street
A doctor rushed in, mightily quickly
"Oh my..." she said without even a greet
"What's happened?" Jack asked, very upset
"Your mother's back is broken, Jack."
"You think?" his mother asked
"Ma'am, your son must have stepped on a crack."
"I thought that was fake!" cried Jack.

One, Two, Three Little Monkeys

One little monkey jumping on the bed
He fell off and bumped his head
On the floor his skin did shed
One little monkey filled with dread
Mama called the doctor, the doctor said
"Do it again and you'll be dead!"

Two little monkeys eating moldy bread
They got sick and hurting was their head
Their whole hearts felt like lead
Two little monkeys filled with dread
Mama called the doctor, the doctor said
"Eat it again and you'll be dead!"

Three little monkeys smoking that weed
They were all just filled with greed
They began to fight and skin they shed
They began to bite and blood they bled
Mama called the doctor, the doctor said
"Too late miss, all three are dead!"

The Jazz Playing Witch

Once upon a time there lived an old lady
The old lady was named o'grady
She was a witch, that's what she was known as
She was a witch that liked to play jazz
The music of jazz helped her cast spells
She especially liked to rearrange cells

So, one day a rat crept into her house
It crept up her leg and ruined her blouse
She grabbed it by the tail and locked it in a cage
Oh, the poor rat, he was filled with rage
She played her jazz music all over the place
She played, and played, and played with grace
Misty clouds filled the house, known as fog
Soon they disappeared and the rat was now a frog

O'grady plopped the frog into her soup
The last ingredient needed to make a nice suit
You see, she was making a suit because she was being sued
She had to appear in court that day,
She knew that she was screwed

Then, she received a mysterious call
The person said, "Turns out you were not the person in the brawl!"
"I told you!" She cried. "I told you all!"

Once again she played her jazz
Turned the frog back into a rat
Let him free back into the world
Knowing that now she had a friend to chat
She was happy as can be and twisted and twirled

And so ends the tell of o'grady
Who lived once upon a time as an old lady
She was a witch, that's what she was known as
Who liked to cast spells while using jazz

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

Hello, and welcome to my humble abode
Please sit while I tell you the tale of why I crossed the road
Although there were lots of cars I still crossed it
I wobbled slowly across thinking that I would surely get hit
I was safely on the other side when I saw the butcher
He held a cleaver in his hand, but he wasn't much of a looker
He spotted me across the road and instantly rushed across
Only he didn't make it across because a car came out of nowhere
His life was surely at a loss
So, next time someone asks you why I crossed the road and made it over
Tell one that I was running from the butcher
The one that wasn't much of a looker
Now he's dead and I'm alive and very well in many jokes
Yes, it is all very true, and that is my tale, folks

Writer's Block

I have writer's block
My brain seems to be full of chalk
I can't think of anything
That my poor brain could bring
My thoughts just wave around thin air
I have writer's block, it isn't fair

I have writer's block, I say
You do too? Touche
This is one block that isn't fun
It often leaves my writing undone
My thoughts just wave around thin air
I have writer's block, and I'm in despair

I have writer's block, I really do
I think my brain is filled with goo
I hope you know that it's contagious
I try my best to be courageous
My thoughts just wave around thin air
I have writer's block, beware!
Writer's block go away!
At what price do I have to pay?
Please, I'm begging you to leave me alone
Just stop turning my thoughts into stone!
Someone tell me how to get rid of this disease
That leaves my thoughts in cold air to freeze

Wasting Time

I need something to do until seven
That's approximately 20 more minutes
Please, Father Time, speed up
I know that in every minute
There is 60 seconds
But sometimes 60 seconds
Go by much slower
Than the 60 seconds
Who go by fast
How many seconds do I need to go by?
What is 60 times 20, let's see
1200 seconds needs to pass
I'm bored, I'm telling you
So, I'm sitting here
In this corner
Actually, on this sofa
Writing
This
Lame
Poem
Oh my, guess what?
It's only 6:43
Know what that means?
Yep, dinner time :)

Don't Say Can't

Don't say can't or your mama will feel taint
Your daddy will fall in a bucket of constraint
Your sister will cry till her birthday in July
And Your dog will just fall out and die

Teasing

"One rice head in the playroom," my siblings teased me
"One rice head in the playroom!" they screamed, filled with glee
"One rice head in the playroom!" "Stop!" I had to plea
"Reading her stupid book!" Oh, how I wished to be free

"You a rice head," they would chide
"I know you are but what am I?" I would cry
"A rice head," they would reply
"I know you are but what am I?" I would again try

"Shutup!" they would shout
"Shut don't go up prices do..." I would pout
"Rices do! Ahahahahah!" they would spout
"So take your advice and shutup too!" I would spit out.

Mouth Filled With Glue

She wanted to eat some glue
So she poured some glue onto her tooth
She chewed it up, it's the truth
Oh, a mouth filled with glue

She opened it wide and showed her friend
“I'm telling!” He said, surely this was the end
“Tattletale!” She yelled not trying to defend
He acted as if he didn't hear her, pretend

The teacher came and yelled at the girl
“I was just being curious!” She said with a twirl
“I'm calling your mother!” the teacher exclaimed
The girl said, “No matter what you do, I won't feel ashamed!”

Her mother came and got her with silent thoughts
“How was it?” Her mother asked, “Did it taste like sauce?”
“It was a bit tangy, I don't know,” the girl said with a bore
Then they both laughed and laughed some more

Sick

This cough really needs to get lost
My brain needs to show this bacteria who's boss
It's making me feel so at an unease
Achooo! Ugh, I just took a sneeze
Causing my nose to run
Being sick is in no way fun
I hope my immune system show this foreigner who's boss
I am dead serious, this cough needs to get lost

A Very Fat Cat

I sat with my huge butt on the carpet
Waiting for my master to get back from the market
He went out to buy me a huge feast
Tonight I was sure to eat like a beast
I heard the door open and pranced forward
My master just walked past me, onward
In his hand he only carried fruits
He carried lots of fresh produce
I was angry at my master and began to hiss
I scratched at his leg, obviously pissed
He shook me off and I landed splat
This position did not soothe me, a very fat cat

Battle With Sleep

My eyes are heavy, but I won't give in
I spend all of my energy on only one thing
It's only been a minute, but it feels like an hour
My own personal battle that I can't seem to beat
While in the face of sleepiness, I cower
But still I try to fight on
Trying to not let the up and the bottom meet
Forcing those eyelids to open, it's a hard task
They close down again
This time I don't have the power to keep them apart
And so, sleepiness won, but I'll make sure I win the next

The Sleep Fairy

The sleep fairy is out to get me again
Every time I open my eyes they close
I may just have to end up forfeiting
Well, one more time, here goes
This time I'm able to keep them open for 3 minutes
But, the sleep fairy has caught up
She forces my eyes closed, shut
That's it, I think, I've had enough
So, I go up in my room, giving up
To show her that she's won I close my eyes
Sleepiness is immediately on the rise

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.09.2012

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