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Falling Hard and Fast

Derek was the sweetest boy I had ever met. He listened to everything I had to tell him, since he was asking most of the questions, like why I was living alone. He was very sympathetic for me and never once bored with himself. It was about lunch time when he thought of taking me out to eat. "Derek," I complained once again. "I don't want you to take me out. People will think you're a freak for going out with me."
"And what did I tell you? That I don't care what people think. Let them think want they want to of us." I immediately stopped breathing. Luckily we were at a stop sign, because he noticed. "What?"
"That was one of the last things my dad ever said to me. He was giving me advice for the ball. He didn't want me to tell people that it was, well, me.

It just shocked me is all."
"Oh." He took my hand as we headed for some restaurant that he didn't want me to know about until I got there. Stupid, right? I felt so comforted, I didn't deserve it. How could I deserve it? More importantly, how could I deserve him?

I just don't get it. Maybe...
"Are we honestly there yet?" I asked impatiently.
"Actually, yes." He pulled into the Garden Oil parking lot. I heard that this place was really expensive. Why was he taking me here?
"No," I said quietly.
"Now I don't want any trouble, okay? This is where your eating. Because this is the only food I

eat. Okay? Now come on." He got out of the car and opened the door to my side. I stubbornly stepped out.
***************
I was still jittery from our date when we got to my house. "Thanks," I say as I step out of his car. I go to my front door, thinking that he's going to leave, but he cuts the engine off. Great. He's going to stay. He walks up to me.
"You're welcome. Don't I deserve anything for taking you out to such a nice restaurant?" he asks playfully. I laugh.
"Maybe, maybe not." He wraps his arms around my waist, and kisses my throat. "Mmmmm," I say. His warmth feels so good against my skin. How could he of all people think that I'm hot? I have black hair that's kind've curly, green eyes, like size 34b boobs, "5'6" in height, and white skin. My cheeks are always red, so no one knows when I'm blushing. Like right now. He kisses my hand, and then walks to the couch.
He pats the side next to him. I shake my head. "No way. I am not getting into that.

" He smiles slightly, and gets back up. He takes my hand, and tugs me to the couch.
"Well, I can

get into that.

" I look away, embarrassed about this discussion. "And you can, too, so what's the matter?" I sigh. He waits until I look him in the eye to continue on. "Tell me what's really bothering you." His brown eyes intrigue me into speaking the truth.
"I'm just not good enough for you." He starts to say something, but I cut him off. "And do not

say that I am. I know I'm not. I'm far from gorgeous." He laughs lightly, and shakes his head.
"But you are. You're just insecure. Everyone is. Including myself." I laugh. "What?" he asks.
"That's hard to believe." His expression turns darkly.
"Well, it's true. And you need to stop changing the subject. You're starting to bother me." Good. So my perfect charms are

working.
I just barely realize that I spoke that aloud. The only thing that gives it away is Derek's gasp. Crap! I'm an idiot. Why do I always ruin things?
He composes he posture, and kisses my neck. This is my heaven, I think. I am alive, my dad is dead, and this is my heaven. Living in hell.

The Truth Comes Out at Last

I stare at Derek for an extremely long time. He regards me curiously. I sigh at him longiningly, and wish I hadn't of said no yesterday. Why can't I just live my life without interuptions? He smiles. "What's so funny?" I snap. I realize my mistake. "Sorry. Just in a grumpy mood is all."
He stares at me until I start to fidget. "I know," he remarks. "I'm just trying to figure out why." I close my eyes briefly, trying to ignore the fact that I'm keeping something from my boyfriend. "Liv," he says dangerously. "I'll find out sooner or later. You better just tell me now. I won't be mad, no matter what it is."
Opening my eyes, I see his loving eyes gazing into mine. "I know you won't be mad. It's just, I'm kind of afraid to tell you because, well..." I look down. "I feel like I owe you the truth. I just can't tell you what it is."
Thinking over what happened that one night makes me shudder. I look up to see Derek trying to put my words together, to find some explanation. "Tell me," he whispers. I look at the window, and something within it makes me continue looking at it. I narrow my eyes, and try to see what it is. But before I can really make out the picture, it shatters. I jump in my seat. "Liv! Are you all right?" I nod.
Before Derek can say anything else, I stand up, and push my way through the crowd. I distinctly hear my name over and over again. I start to run, until I wind up in the bathroom at school. I start to cry, realizing what was in the window. It was him. The one who destroyed my life. The one who caused me to be so insecure.
Slamming the stall door, I lock it, and have a pity party. I hear the door swing open, then my name. "Liv? I know you're in here. What's wrong?" Derek. I fall to the floor, no longer able to contain the sobs of fear.
Unlocking the door, I crawl out of the stall. I hear Derek gasp, then wrap his arms around me. He murmurs kind words to me. I grasp his arm, tell him not to go. "What happened? Why are you so frightened?"
Barely getting the words out, I say, "He raped me. He was in the window..." As it fades black, I feel something hot and wet fall onto me. Tears. His tears. He knows, and he...feels...bad..........

The Whole Story

Impressum

Widmung:
To no one. This is my world, and no one else lives in it but me.

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