The Dreadful Life I Presume

I was in my room listening to the hardest rock I could find on my Ipod. My dad just wanted me to be his little princess, but that is soooo not going to happen. My dad just doesn't get me. Well, frankly, no one does. Everyone thinks I'm this way because I want to be. No! I'm this way because of whats happened to me. I just want people understand. You can't make someone into who you really want them to be. You make your own mistakes to make your own life.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I love that I am who I am, but I just don't like how people treat me. They think I'm a toughy because of how I act and how I dress. But in the inside I'm just a girl wanting to find my purpose in the world. If you were me, you would too. "Liv!" my dad screamed. "There's some mail for you in the kitchen!" Mail? Since when do I get things?
"Thanks Dad!" I walked out to see what it was. I walked into the kitchen to find a big envelope with my name on it. I opened it to find an invitation to the masquerade ball this Saturday. I had heard about that, but I just didn't think they would invite me.

Then I saw that it was the new kid who invited me. Derek Sulley is his name. "Dad, guess what? I'm invited to the party this Saturday. What should I wear? And should I go? Yes, no?" This is what my teenage side is really like.
"Yea. Maybe you should wear your satin black dress. And here," he handed me a black mask with three black feathers on each side," you can have this. It was your mothers."
"Uh, thanks. And I think I will wear that dress. Thanks dad," I said again. "You really do help me when I need it." I left the room and pulled out the dress he was talking about. I tried it on to see if it still fit, and I didn't recognize myself. I mean, if I do say so myself, I think I looked pretty hot. I put on the mask and walked out to show my dad. "Hey dad? What do you think?"
"I think that you look very much like your mother the night I met her. You look so beautiful. I think that you should go, but don't tell people it's you. Let them think what they want. Okay?"
"Okay, dad," I said, walking away to hide my embarrassment. It's a good thing it's summer, and

that it's Thursday. Just two more days to be my boring old self. I was totally going to change on Saturday.


Dreadful to Drastic

So I was so excited to see how people would react to what I looked like. I wasn't going to do what my dad wanted me do. I mean, I love my dad to death, but I just didn't want to be that weird freaky yet hot girl again. I don't

want to go through that

again. That was like, the worst few weeks of my life. Literally.
How lucky was I? To be finallly invited to something like I never acted as I did. I mean, it felt so good to be the real girl I really was. I wonder if the guy would like me, or did he now know of all the stories/rumors that were true about me. The only thing no one knows is that all those things were based off of facts. "Dad?" I asked. "Where are you?" I walked out of my room into his, and I saw him still in bed. "Dad. Come on. It's time to get up and out of bed." I leaned over to see what time it was on the clock. "Dad. Come on. Seriously, it's ten o'clock in the morning." I touched his neck to see if his pulse was still beating.
"I'm so sorry." I turned around to see Dr. Lake in the doorway. "He died last night in his sleep. He had cancer, but he didn't want the medicine. He had said yesterday night on the phone to me that he was ready to go on the medication. I'm sorry. He didn't want anyone else to know what was happening to him. I wish I hadn't to agree that I was not to tell."
"You mean, he's dead?" I asked, a big lump building in my throat.
"Yes." I looked away from him, back to my father, who now that I thought of it, looked kind of blue. How could this have happened? I always looked after him to make sure he was okay.
"How could he? After he promised me that he was going to tell me everything. I wish now that he wasn't my father. I hate him, and I hate that I'm even related to a person who committed suicide!" I turned back around to the doctor to find him staggering backwards.
"What do you mean 'suicide'?" he asked in a professional voice.
"Don't you see? He did this to be with my mom once again. He didn't tell me because he knew that I would catch on sooner or later." I was talking so loud, but it came out just barely a whisper.
"Now I understand. I am so sorry for keeping that from you," he said once again.
"Why do you keep apologizing? You can't undo what's happened. Don't you see that? Tomorrow I'm not going to be here because I'm going to the masquerade ball, but then I'll start arranging the funeral, and sending all the invites and notes to people."
"I guess you're right about the apologizing thing, but since I can't undo the past, I'll do all that. It's as much as I can do considering all the things I've done to you and your family." He doesn't get it. But then again, he does owe me that much.
"I guess that'll work. Thank you," I say, even though I don't mean it. "And will you get rid of the carcass. I don't want to look at it. It makes me think of how sick he was. And I don't mean how sick he was from cancer, I mean from what he's done."
"Alright." He picked up my dad to bring him to his car, with a coffin already in it. Did he already know that something terrible had happened to my dad?
"Wait." He turned around facing me with his car door open, ready to get the hell out of here. "You're not telling me something. Tell me. You already knew my father was going to die last night, didn't you?"
"Uh," he stuttered.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Yes. When he said he was ready for the medicine, I knew that something had gone terribly wrong. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."
"God! Will you stop apologizing already? I get that your freaking sorry, but you don't need to repeat it over and over again. Just stop trying to apologize. It isn't helping. I just now realized that you've never helped my family. You always make it a lot worse. So, thanks a lot," I say sarcastically.
"Your welcome," he mumbled.
"Get out, you freak!" I screamed. Nothing has been more freakishly weird than this. And now the day has ended and the masquerade is tomorrow. Looks like I've got a lot of work to do if I'm going to not be crying tomorrow.


The Masquerade Ball

I put on my dress at six thirty at night. Then I finished putting on my make-up. I put on the brightest red lipstick I could find in my make-up box. I arrived in my dad's limo. The chivalarous gentleman opened my door and took my hand to help me out. As I walked out into the ball room, everyone made a path for me, while all the men stared. I heard people whistling after me as I started to the buffet. "Hello," a mans voice said. I turned around to become face to face with a auburn haired boy with brown eyes. "I'm Derek. The one who sent you the invitation. You look lovely tonight."
I looked at the ground embarrassed. "Why thank you. I am Liv."
"It's nice to meet you. So what do you think of the party?"
"I think you did a really good job with everything that you have done. I really like the ball room."
"Do you think I might see your face that's underneath that mask?"
"Maybe. I'll have to think about it and get back to you later." I walked away from him to go to the garden and went underneath the tree. I looked at the scenery with envy. How could this beautiful place never have any wrong doings? It isn't right. I wish that my life could be like that.
Something so peaceful as the garden is what I want my life to be like. A life with little things to do, and so subtle, it's like the world was really meant to be like this. Except, that it never happened because there was so much hate in th world. I think that life has always had it's purpose, but no one has ever found it before.
I turned around to find a girl staring at me with jealousy smooth across her face. She quickly composed her look at put her mask back on. I walk back to the ball room to find that everyone is doing the waltz. So instead, I walk to the kitchen to see if I could help with anything. Before I could get there, Derek grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?" he asked, curiousity crossing his face.
"I'm going to see if there is anything I could do. I didn't bring a date, so what's the point of dancing alone? I'll just make a fool of myself." I try to get out of his grip, but he just makes it even harder.
"Well, I didn't invite you to service us. I invited you here to have a good time, but it seems as if you aren't, so come on." He dragged me back to the garden, where we sat on the bench. "Is it later yet?"
"I guess it is." I took off my mask while he took off of his. I studied his face as he studied mine. I saw that he had the perfect shaped nose, and flawless lips. I found to my surprise that he was just as mesmorized with my face as I was with his.
"You are so beautiful. I don't think I've ever met someone with as flawless features as you do. It's like we were meant to be together." Wait...what?
"Sorry, but did you just ask me out?"
"No. I just said that it looks like we're perfect for each other. There's a difference, you know." That made a little sense. Why does he talk so old fashioned?
"Oh."
"Why? Did you want me too?" Guess I should've seen that one coming. I mean, I did just open up that gate just now.
"YeeeSorta. I mean, you're gorgeously hot. Anyone could see that.

I just wish you felt the same way about me."
"Well I kinda do, too. So, do we have a date?"
"Yes we do. But the first dates are always rough."
"Well, than. Let's make this our first date. Shall we?" He gets up and offers me his hand. I put on my mask, then I get up and take while he leads me to the ball room. He grips my hand and puts his other hand on my hip. I stretch my arms up to his neck and wrap them around. "How's this for a first date?"
"Very, very pleasant." The music starte to edge for a song I would recognize anywhere. Bella's freakin' lullaby. He twirled me around until we were out by the pond/fountain. He sat us down on yet another bench.
"How did you enjoy our first date?"
"I thought that it should end with just the right amount of spark, don't you think?"
"Yes, I do." He leaned in, and withdrew my mask off of my face. I leaned in to complete the entire thing, and kissed him gently. We broke apart and then looked into each other's eyes. "I better go get your ride. What did you come in?"
"Actually, my driver will get my ride. And I came with a limo." This didn't surprise him one bit. I took out my phone and texted to my driver. He quickly texted back that he was going to go get the limo right now. Derek and I walked out to the front of the house to wait for my ride. "This was a very nice party. I had so much fun." My ride pulled up to the circle, so I didn't have much time. I leaned back in once more to get a goodnight kiss. I kissed for at least three seconds before the driver honked the horn. "Bye!" I screamed after him, jumping into the limo.
*****
I woke up feeling well rested then I had in a long time. I got up to have last night pour all through me. I remembered how everything went, and how Derek called to make sure I made it home safely, though I'm not sure if I gave him my number, or not. He probably just found it in the yellow pages book.
Sadly, the day before the ball hit me, and reminded me that I was alone, and had to do things for myself. "This sucks," I said out loud to myself. I got up and got dressed. I made some eggs and bacon, and scarfed it all down. I went to the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth.
When I was done with that, I heard a light knock on the door. I quickly got there to open it for whoever it was. I opened it expecting to see the doctor to come and apologize, but instead it was Derek. "Hey."
"Hello," he said back, though it sounded automatically. He leaned in to kiss me, and it lasted a bit longer than either of us had expected. He walked into my house, and into the kitchen. Immediately I felt whole at once, knowing that I was not alone anymore, and that I was cared for once again.


The Next Chapters 4-6

Falling Hard and Good

Once Again in the Dark

Never to Feel Again


A Look at the Next Chapter

Derek was the sweetest boy I had ever met. He listened to everything I had to tell him, since he was asking most of the questions, like why I was living alone. He was very sympathetic for me and never once bored with himself. It was about lunch time when he thought of taking me out to eat. "Derek," I complained once again. "I don't want you to take me out. People will think you're a freak for going out with me."
"And what did I tell you? That I don't care what people think. Let them think want they want to of us." I immediately stopped breathing. Luckily we were at a stop sign, because he noticed. "What?"
"That was one of the last things my dad ever said to me. He was giving me advice for the ball. He didn't want me to tell people that it was, well, me.

It just shocked me is all."
"Oh." He took my hand as we headed for some restaurant that he didn't want me to know about until I got there. Stupid, right? I felt so comforted, I didn't deserve it. How could I deserve it? More importantly, how could I deserve him?

I just don't get it. Maybe...
"Are we honestly there yet?" I asked impatiently.
"Actually, yes." He pulled into the Garden Oil parking lot. I heard that this place was really expensive. Why was he taking me here?
"No," I said quietly.
"Now I don't want any trouble, okay? This is where your eating. Because this is the only food I

eat. Okay? Now come on." He got out of the car and opened the door to my side. I stubbornly stepped out.
***************

Impressum

Texte: Strictly my own things. If copy, you will be fined.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.02.2011

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Widmung:
To the one who made me finally think of love.