...

 

I lay down, his eyes are roaming throughout my room.

“So, I mean… great room,” he says awkwardly.

His face lights up, blushing.

Like he hasn’t been here before.

As if we weren’t just messing around, talking.

I look around my room, it’s a mess.

Paper littered everywhere.

I instantly feel a wave of nervousness.

He looks at my bed, tracing the outline.

His eyes investigate each and every flower littered on the comforter.

Then he looks down at my floor.

I find this cute and the butterflies come back.

I tare my eyes away from him.

I can feel the tension in the air. The hairs on my neck raise.

They seem to do that when I get nervous.

“Do you wanna, uh sit down?” I ask.

He looks at me and nods.

He walks over towards me and sits on the bed.

He crisscrosses his legs.

He seems to be getting comfortable.

I watch as his breaths lighten.

“I was won-,” suddenly I hear footsteps on the stairs.

Too heavy to be my brother’s and too loud to be my mom’s(she isn’t here anyway), so it has to be Micheal’s.

Memories flash through my mind.

“Um, my dad is coming. I’m sorry. Uh… hide, please” I say in a whisper yell.

I look at him apologetically.

His face flicks between confusion to fear.

I quickly shuffle him into my closet.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him as I close the door.

Micheal staggers into my room.

“Honey, you- affak downstairs. Bnight.” He is drunk again.

“Oh, ok. Hi and goodnight,” I give up at the end.

I can feel a weight on my chest.

It hurts to see him like this like it always does.

To think of the times he gets like this and doesn’t go to sleep.

Sadly, I’m used to this by now.

I don’t call my dad, “dad” I call him Micheal.

His real name.

It fits the monster he is.

When my mother is off at work (she works night shifts), my father drinks.

He drinks enough that most of his paychecks go to buying his alcohol.

Sometimes when he gets really mad, he can’t control his anger; I have scars that remind me of that all the time.

That is why when my father is around, I’m always on the edge of my seat.

Always scared of what he might do.

I walk to the hallway, look around and close my door.

And then I lock my door.

I slide down my door, relieved that nothing happened while he is here.

My brother is asleep and so is my father; I call him out.

“It’s all clear.”

He slowly creeps out of my closet.

He looks as if he was just in Narnia.

“Sorry about that, that...that was nothing,” Silence.

I wanna jump in front of him and ask him what’s up like we did when we were little kids but we aren’t little anymore.

So much is different now.

“What’s wrong,” I ask.

“I-I nevermind,” he says shaking a smile off of his face.

His posture becomes more foreign.

He is still blushing.

I walk over to my bed and sit on it.

I pat the bed.

He walks over to the mattress right next to me, and slowly sits down.

“So is your father okay?” I hear a sense of confusion in the question.

“Yeah, he gets this way sometimes,” I reply.

“He doesn’t get like this when people are around.”

I’m kind of hesitant, he’s never been to my house when my father was around.

When we were kids, my father wasn’t home much.

He always said that my mom could take care of us until we were mature enough to be useful.

Even now I still remember how old I was when it first happened.

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” he says.

“It’s fine. It isn’t as bad as it sounds,” I lie.

I pull down my sleeves that revealed a bruise.

“Oh well, where is your mother?” Ask he does, “Did she get the job?”

I reply with “A night shift at the cafe.”

His face lights up again like he was hoping for my mom to get a job.

I know I was, so she could get away from Micheal, but I also didn’t want to be alone with him.

By now the tension is gone, but that feeling inside my stomach is bubbling up.

I look straight into his eyes.

He stops talking, I didn’t realize he still was.

I feel like I’m in a movie.

His eyes are dark.

I can’t tell if they are light or dark, but they have white waves.

They look like the waves crashing into the sand.

Our hands touch briefly and I lean in more.

He takes his hand and curls it around my face.

I look down, he brings my head back up.

I know my cheeks are as red as a tomato.

“You look cute, did you know that?”

I look away blushing.

He doesn’t look awkward for once.

I get up, “Ok, well um… we got our homework done right? So what now?”

“Right um, maybe I should go... if you want me to,” he asks.

I wanna scream “No!” and that I want him to stay all night but instead I say.

“Ok, yeah. See you in Geography. I guess.”

“Ok,” he gets up, grabs his stuff, looks at me, I smile and he climbs out the window to his house.

Through the tree between our houses.

You’re so, so, so, so, so, so dumb I think in my head, ughhh, dummy.

It is now 8:23.

Wow, I think.

I slowly take off clothes and change.

I change into a nightgown that barely drapes down to my knees.

It’s white with the words “Sleepy Bitch,” in pink.

My best friend left it at my house when she secretly stayed the night, a few nights ago.

I slowly climb into bed and turn on my bedside light.

I grab a book and flip to the first page.

I’ve read this book many times.

In my head, I read,

“The elegance, as she takes each step. Her glass slippers making a sound that breaches across the entire ballroom. The way she makes every head turn. The mystery of who lies behind the gold mask. As her hair rests effortlessly. Her gown made out of pure gold. Shining brighter than the morning sun. Her smile that reaches across the mile-long ballroom. ”

The words didn’t seem to make sense to me.

My mind is so foggy.

I try to read, but my mind is blocked by the thought of his sparkling eyes.

I look out my window at the night sky.

His eyes were like an image you would see in a catalog.

I can’t seem to read so I put the book down and turn the light off.

I grab my covers and close my eyes.

The feeling of him so close it still on my mind.

 

 

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

“Slam,” I hear.

“Crash,” and another.

I reach over to get my phone.

Time, 6:47 am.

Day, Friday, Oct 28th.

I get out of bed, get dressed as quietly as I can.

Slipping on a sweatshirt.

I slip in my contacts.

My eyes start to sting.

I slowly open my room door.

I can hear Micheal’s rage booming throughout the entire house.

I can hear my brother crying in his room.

I creep out of my room and into his.

When he sees me, he wipes his tears away.

“Hey, Max, what’s wrong?” I ask.

He looks down at his lap, “I dropped one of the glasses, one od dad’s favorite, he-he hit me.”

I make my way over to his bed and I sit next to him.

I feel angry and I wanna scream at Micheal.

I clench my fists and then release them with a sigh.

“Oh Max, I am so sorry,” I hold him in my arms for a minute.

I know mom can't drive him to school, she’s too “busy.”

“I can drive you to school on my way,” I say.

“Thank you, big sis,” he says thankfully.

He looks up at me, he looks scared.

“Are you going to be okay if I go and get washed up?” I ask full-heartedly.

I feel bad for him, I know how he feels.

I’ve felt it before, many times.

I only hope it doesn’t get that bad.

“Yeah,” a smile disappears just as fast as it appeared, “ I guess.”

I walk past the stairs leading the way to my parent's fight.

Mom and Micheal's conversation is dying down.

“SHATTER” I spoke too soon.

I look briefly down the stairs and I notice there is an expensive glass shattered on the floor.

I usually ignore their conversations.

I almost go to help but I stop myself.

I know mom could use my help at this time.

I go to step on the first step.

I look at my watch, Micheal should be leaving soon and mom will be free.

I leave the glass shards where they are and I keep walking.

I go into the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth.

I walk to my room.

I quickly pack my bag.

Book, Laptop, Phone, Shoes, Coat, Textbook, and Homework.

Ok, Good I think.

I grab my brother, we have to sneak out the back door so we don’t run into anyone.

My brother and I have done this many times.

It’s kinda sad.

As we are leaving, I see that our father’s car is gone.

And I can hear mom weeping inside.

I feel bad for mom but I get scared.

“Sorry Mom,” I whisper as I look back at the house.

“Wait, I haven’t had breakfast yet,” Max says as he turns to me.

“It’s okay, we can pick up some food on the way.”

……………………………………………………………….

The time on my phone says 8:31 after getting breakfast and dropping Max off.

My school starts at 9:25, so I still have some time.

I decided to go to the library down the street from my school.

I arrive at 8:46.

I was hoping to read at the library but that is when I see it.

“It” or “Them.”

“The cool girls,” Stacey, Ashley, and Tracey.

I hate them, Stacey and I used to be best friends but then I guess she found better ones.

More like sluttier ones I think.

I grab a random book off the shelf, sit down and start reading.

I feel “tap, tap, tap” on my shoulder.

I turn around and the look on my face changes.

Ashley, uggggh

“Hey, I just wanted to say nice clothes, hiut,”

The last word is unimportant.

It isn’t bad but you just don’t need to know it.

Anyway, I am caught by total surprise.

They hate me, well Ashley hates me.

“Uh, thanks,” I say.

She runs back to Stacey who is surprisingly smiling and waving at me.

I don’t see Tracey though.

I wave back awkwardly.

The girls smile at me.

I continue with my book, feeling a weight lifted.

Then I head to school.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We can skip my 1st period (it was boring).

Now my 2nd period; Geography, which means, “him”

“Hey, hiut” he screams throughout the halls.

He catches up with me.

We walk in silence to geography.

When we get there all the kids are off task.

“RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!”

The bell goes off and every kid is in their seats, including us.

We all sit by our partners.

He is Mine.

Mrs.Grobinson talks on and on while she passes out papers.

“Okay class, with your partner you must write an essay about Amelia Earhart.” She tells us.

I look at him and he looks at me.

Wow, those eyes.

I can feel his leg brush up against mine, I expect him to move it but he doesn’t.

“ ...and present it in front of the class,” there is an erosion of grones.

This should be easy.

“Ok so what do we know about Amelia Earhart?” he asks me.

“Umm…”

By the end of class, we have about half of our essay done.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

This is the time where he and I separate.

I usually would go sit by my BFF at our table.

She is waving me over to our usual seats.

But today is different.

“Hey, hiut,” Stacey “over here.”

She is looking right at me.

I look back at my BFF, shrug my shoulders, then I shift my body towards Stacey.

I walk toward them

My tray in my hand.

She pats her hand on a seat.

“You can sit here,” she hesitates and then, “your friend can come too.”

She waves my friend over.

Leila (my BFF) comes over and I sit down.

She sits right next to me.

Everyone is gossiping.

“OMG Tyler-,” and “Look at her-.”

“So you and, (Him)?” she bumps me slightly.

I look over at Leila who is already consumed by all the gossip.

“No way, he would never like me,” I say denying that there is any way that could happen.

“OMG he was totally flirting with you,” was he? I think.

“Really you think so?”

“TOTES!”

She practically screams it.

I look over to my left and he is sitting there with all his friends.

He looks at me and shines the brightest smile my way, plus he even waves.

I wave back nervously, with a giggle.

One of his friends nudges him.

Wow, does he like me?

All the girls giggle.

I eat my food and continue talking to Stacey.

I know this can’t be real but it still feels nice.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My next class is a mess, everyone is screaming and the teacher is missing.

One kid is just reading on his desk.

Another is doodling, but everyone else is out of control.

There are homework paper planes everywhere.

The teacher is nowhere to be seen.

I join in.

I got bored so I decided to have some fun.

I’m hanging out with Stacey and talking about the gossip.

Sitting in the middle of the crisis.

Stacey likes a jock in the class.

“Hey cutie, come here,” Stacey says flirtingly to the jock.

He is a super hot jock.

He steps toward her.

She grabs his shirt collar and pulls it towards his lips.

Then they are kissing.

Wow, Stacey said any jock would be lucky to be with her.

“Ooooohhhhhh,” Ashley and Tracey said.

Ashley and Tracey start talking on their own.

Stacey is too wrapped up with her jock to notice anything.

Now I feel uncomfortable.

I don’t know what to do so I jump in with Ashley and Tracey’s conversation.

They are talking about some girl when I see him.

He walks over to me and Ashley and Tracey stop talking and walk away.

“So,” he is blushing, “I saw you at lunch.”

I smile, “yeah.”

“You look um nice today,” I look down totally blushing.

I feel like I’ve been lifted off the floor.

He puts his hand on my cheek and lifts my eyes to his.

He starts to lean in and he kisses me.

I can hear so hoots arising in the classroom.

But I don’t care this is amazing.

He pulls me closer and he finds a spot on my hip.

He pulls me in.

I wrap my legs around him.

I can no longer hear anything.

I can feel his breath close to mine.

Then the teacher starts to unlock the door.

Everyone jumps back to their seats.

Picking everything up and starting to read.

I am so amazed my mouth is wide open.

I feel a dazed feeling overcome me.

I look over at him, he’s blushing.

Stacey nudges me and I blush too.

“Sorry I was late,” the only thing I hear after that is, “blah-blah-blah-blah blah blah-b-blah.”

And ELA begins.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Girl that was awesome,” Stacey comes up to me after class.

“What?” I ask innocently.

“That total make-out sesh with (him),” I blush so much.

“Oh, that was nothing,” I try to wave it off.

“Yeah right, that was nothing,” Tracey rolls her eyes.

We talk the whole way through the halls.

Later I call Leila and tell her all about it.

 

Chapter 3

 

Chapter 3:

The rest of the day went well (I guess).

When I get home, twelve minutes pass quickly.

I don’t have much to do.

“DING,” my phone.

“Hey, hiut, wanna get ice cream?”,Him.

“Yeah sure,” I text back.

“Ok, see you in a second.”

I climb to his room and down to his driveway.

He’s standing by his red Jeep.

We get in and he drives to Dairy Queen.

“Outside or inside?” he asks.

I respond with, “Whatever is fine with me.”

“Ok,” he says as he pulls into the drive-through.

“What do you want?”

“The regular,” I say.

He orders and the lady tells him to pull up to the next window.

He does and a man hands us our order.

He pulls over into the parking lot and we get out of the car.

We both climb onto his car and lay on the top.

"So our geometry homework is fun," he pauses "Well it should be."

"Yeah, I guess."

“How was your day?” he says, “well after ELA?”

I blush shamelessly “Good I guess.”

“Same” we stare at the clouds for a while.

I love this.

We spend the whole time just talking and looking up at the sky.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                                                                

I know Micheal is home but mom isn't.

I sneak in the house (well I try to).

He sees me and starts screaming.

"Where the fuck have whou heen?" his screaming hurts my ears.

I cover them and say in a quieter tone, "With (him)"

He walks towards me and I shudder.

He slaps me so hard my face is red.

By now I am crying and he doesn't give a shit.

He stares at me with rage.

I don’t know honestly why he is mad at me.

He walks upstairs. I know what he is getting but I still sit there.

I can hear his footsteps.

When he is downstairs again, he looks me straight in the eye.

He yanks me off the floor, shoving me against the wall.

I look at his hands, his left one holding a beer bottle and right holding a belt.

A belt that is wrapped around his hand tightly.

The memories flood back in.

He pulls his arm back and it whips down four times as fast.

I shriek, but not too loud. Cause I know what would happen if I did that.

I'm petrified with fear.

He does it over and over, each time harder than the last.

I slowly fall and curl up into a ball.

I look over and I see my little brother's head pop into the hallway.

He is now crying.

Micheal hits me harder.

I cringe.

I silently shoo him away while I whimper in pain.

He listens, I don’t blame him I’d do the same.

My tears fall to the ground like a river flooding.

Just like my blood.

I remember every time this happens.

The scars and bruises.

He stops slowly.

Then he brings the belt down for one last hit.

You can hear the wind shatter.

When the belt hits it, it well...

This time I scream.

Too loud!

The last thing I remember is that he dropped the whip which made a huge sound.

A moment of pure silence.

I let out another whimper.

He looks furious, but also scared.

Then his left hand coming smashing down.

Next, I feel a smash to my back.

 

Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

When I wake up I hear sirens.

There are noises everywhere.

When my vision is back, I see my neighbors.

They’re staring at me.

Their worried faces make my heart beat faster.

What the hell? I think.

I look around and my clothes have patches of blood on them.

I feel a sharp pain on my back.

I painfully lift my hand up.

I graze the side of my back as best as I can.

I can feel wet and dry blood.

It seems to be gushing out pretty fast.

I feel light-headed.

“Are” my voice stutters, “Wha happed.”

My mind is all fogged up and my head is throbbing.

I can’t think straight and Ow.

The neighbors say something along the lines of, “She’s awake.”

Everything hurts.

I try to move my arm but nothing happens.

I want to sleep, sleep, I struggle to keep my eyes open.

I see red and white lights outside my house.

There is a blaring siren coming from the same vicinity.

I wince at how loud the siren is.

The siren fills my ears, my head and the throbbing becomes harder and faster.

I want to scream, but for some reason, I feel like I shouldn’t.

A distant memory flickers back.

Some person comes into my house and puts on this bed-like-thing.

As they stroll me, I see my other rush past me and turn to the neighbors, then look at me.

Next thing I know I’m in a truck and there are people rushing all around me.

I’m breathing through a muzzle thing.

My eyes dart in every direction.

There is a woman to my right and but I can only see her back.

She is turned around.

There are three other people to my left.

I try to think straight as well as I can but I want to sle-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why the hell does everything hurt?

My eyes feel like they are being weighed down.

I look around this room I’m in.

It is a white room but it looks comfy.

I feel my back.

It is still killing me.

Then I start to panic, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.

Suddenly a fascinating woman walked in.

She is wearing a white lab coat, I guess.

Her eyes fluttered toward me.

“Great you are awake,” she says with a plastered smile on her face.

“Um yeah, sure,” I say kind of snotty, “ Who are you?”

Her smile quickly dissipates, “And why am I here?”

She frantically scrolls through some records on a clipboard.

“No, no,” she mumbles to herself, “I don’t see that anywhere.”

She looks at me and she looks fearful.

“Mrs. fjkncugej?” She asks.

I hesitate, “Yeah.”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“I had just gotten home from hanging out with a friend and… and… Micheal, my dad and I got into… into.. an” I pause “argument.”

I shudder remembering what happened.

Everything that has happened floods my brain.

Did he get caught? Is he in Jail? How long have I been here?

A billion thoughts rush through my head but the only one keeps occurring again and again is…

He could have killed me. I try to tell myself I’m not crying but I am.

I’m guessing the doctor takes this as remembering and she comes to the side of the bed.

“Oh Honey, it’s okay,” even though I know it’s not; this almost makes me feel better.

“You can leave at any time,” she says, “ we stitched the cut so you can go back to school tomorrow.”

She tries to comfort me.

Making sure I'm fine.

When she believes me, she leaves.

And so do I.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My mother has been in her room ever since I got home.

My brother has no clue of anything.

My mother told him I was staying at a friend’s house.

I’m at my desk almost dozing off when he comes in.

He comes through the window as usual.

I sit up in my chair.

“What you got for me, huh?”

“Homework,” we both groan than laugh, “anyone home?”

“My mom and brother. My dad won’t be home for a while.”

I look away cautiously.

“Oh,” he says, “Well when you were gone we finished the essay.”

“Oh, I forgot,” I want to say more but before I do he says, “It’s okay the teacher excused you on that one.”

“But you still have some ELA, Science, and History to do,” he says.

He sets the papers on my desk.

He looks over at me.

I’m looking directly into his eyes and I can feel us getting closer.

Soon we are so close I can feel his breath on my neck.

Our lips touch and we are kissing as if our lives depended on it.

He runs his hands through my hair.

I can feel us getting closer.

He moves so swiftly.

He climbs onto the bed, pulling me with him.

I slightly opened my eyes to make sure the door is closed.

It is.

I close them again feeling exhilarated.

He is amazing, this is amazing!

 

 

Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

He gathers the rest of his clothes, smiling at me.

He fixes a piece of his hair and then climbs through the window.

I lie on my bed staring at my ceiling and I sigh.

Wow.

I sit there for a second in amazement.

I slowly get out of bed.

It’s almost 1 am.

I grab some Pajamas and I get dressed.

I’m not that tired but since I have to go to school tomorrow, so I need to sleep.

I gently drift off to the dream realm.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m on a cool beach.

It’s not too windy but windy enough to blow my hair.

I’m lying in a reclined chair.

The water looks endless and splendid.

I sit up and move my feet into the sand.

The sand is cold.

I get up and walk toward the water.

When I reach it, it is warm.

I only let my feet in.

I look to my side and I see feet.

My eyes climb it, (him).

Our hands latch and we start to walk into the water together.

I look at him and lean closer.

I bolt upright to my alarm blaring.

My whole body is sweating.

I wipe my eyes and move the covers away.

I slip out of bed and over to my dresser.

I grab a cute tube top and some leggings.

As I get dressed I see my homework.

I grab it and shove it into my bag, along with everything else I need.

Then I head out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1st hour was boring again.

So I won’t put you through that now.

Time for 2nd hour.

As I approach the door Stacey is waiting for me.

“Where have you been?” I had only been gone for a day and she was already questioning me.

“O-”

“Nevermind, anyway,” she looks my dead-eyed, “I heard you and (him) well you know.”

She nudges me, “Tell me it’s true right!”

I blush.

“Yeah,” She, Tracey, and Ashley squeal louder than anything I’ve ever heard.

I try to laugh it off but they won’t let me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I get home I see Micheal’s car and so I slowly enter the house.

I can see my mom with a smile on her face.

She is sitting at our dining room table.

There is glass everywhere.

She mutters something.

I slowly walk in, taking my shoes off and avoiding the glass.

“Hey, I’m home.”

“Is Mi-dad home?”

“No he is in jail,” she mutters.

“He isn’t coming home right?” I ask.

Hoping she will say “No he is never coming back,” or “He will never hurt you again.”

But alas she never said that.

Instead, she said, “Yeah he is coming back in a month.”
When she said that my whole body was filled with anger.

“Are you kidding me? You’re telling me that the man that almost killed your daughter, abuses you, your son and your daughter, is coming back? You’re gonna let him live in this house still.

You know what fine but then I want out of the house!” I yell.

I grab the documents out of my bag, the documents that will allow me to take care of myself.

I remember struggling to rush and print these at the library.

“Fine just sign these and I’ll be out of your way,” I stomp up to my room dropping my stuff on my bedroom floor and slamming my door.

My mother is so insufferable.

It makes me so mad that she would bring that, that monster back into this house.

I can hear her coming up the stairs.

At first, I think that she is coming to my room to apologize but when she stops at my door she leaves.

I open my door when I can tell she I gone.

She has put a huge red “X” over the paper.

Once again I slam my door in anger.

 

Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

The whole night I struggle to sleep.

Once falling asleep only to wake up again.

I guess it’s just the PTSD.

I wanna get out of this house as fast as I can.

I can’t sleep all night.

Always scared, thinking I’ll hear the door open and have him barrel into the house.

I’m counting the days until I turn 18.

When the sunlight breaches through my shades that cover the window I get out of my bed.

I walk solemnly over to my computer.

Sitting in the comfiest chair (not).

I lift my hand and I grab the mouse.

Clicking to bring up a new tab I type.

Houses near me.

Houses for sale.

Houses for sale far away.

Houses for sale.

I safely make my search through an incognito window.

Three houses pop up.

1. A small yellow house. (it seems nice) $30,000.

Wow, I’ve only saved $17,650 from Christmas, Birthday, etc money.

2. A medium-sized red house. (A little more than I would need, I keep reading) $180,000

Yikes.

3. A medium-sized gray house (okay) $25,000

I think I could work with that.

I keep reading.

3. 3 beds, 2 bath

I save the link and move on in my day.

I’m only 7 months and 24 days away from 18.

But who counts

Slipping off my PJ’s.

Throwing on a cozy top and nice pants I get ready for school.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When getting to school Leila comes up to me.

Or at least I thought she was.

I look at her as she walks past.

I see her look at me.

She sticks out her foot in a split second.

This makes me tumble to the floor.

Spilling all my stuff EVERYWHERE.

I skid my knee across the hard ground.

He comes up behind me, so I don’t see him coming.

When I turn my head, I get locked in his gaze.

His glistening black eyes have captured me.

He started to lean down and grab my stuff.

Suddenly I come back to reality.

He has already picked most of my stuff.

I blush.

I grab one or two of my things.

His hand touches mine while he hands me my stuff.

He quickly slides a note into my hand.

I look around.

No one noticing but me.

I lock him into my gaze.

I nod at him and he walks away.

I push myself off the ground.

First things first; first period.

Still boring.

Math, math and more math.

By the time my Second period rolls around I’m exhausted.

My body is so sore.

I already fell asleep once in my First period.

Suddenly (even though my eyes felt like millions of pounds) my eyes shoot open.

I hadn’t read the note, nor even thought about it.

I shuffled into my Second period with a grin on my face.

Setting my stuff down I start to read.

The note read in nice cursive handwriting…

Girlfriend?

I can feel his eyes on me.

I glance up, meeting his gaze.

Hope sparkles in his eyes.

I mouth the word Yes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as I open our front door, I can see my brother staring right at me.

I drop my stuff off next to the door.

Mom is nowhere to be seen.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Can we go to the park?” his eyes sparkle, “Talia’s mom takes her to the park.”

I laugh and cry at the same time.

All he wants is a normal life.

I feel so bad for him.

I wonder if he knows Micheal is coming back.

I wouldn’t be as happy as he is now if I did.

Tears well up in my eyes.

His smile changes to confusion.

I wanna hug him so much.

I also want someone to hug me, telling me everything is going to be alright.

“Yes, yes, of course, I’d love to go.”

His grin returns.

I miss when I was happy.

Like him.

We walk to the car and get inside.

Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Getting home laughing.

We had so much fun.

I can see mom sitting on the couch.

Her head in her hands.

Her heart on her sleeve.

Max looks at mom and stops laughing.

“Go upstairs,” I push him towards the stairs.

He looks at me and I nod.

He slowly climbs the stairs to his room.

I walk over to mom.

“What’s up?”

Her head perks up as if she hadn’t heard us.

“Your father called me and told me that he-”

I didn’t even care how she finished the sentence.

I was already pissed when she said “Your father.”

But by that time I was done.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My bed is so comfy I just don’t wanna crawl out of it.

My muscles are so done.

It’s only been 5 days since I got home and I’m so done.

I don’t want Micheal to come home.

Against my own wishes, my mind convinces me to get out of bed.

I march over to my window.

Opening it I can feel the swift breeze of the chilling wind.

Goosebumps ripple down my skin.

I climb into the tree.

Knocking on his window.

He looks over at me.

Smiling.

He gets out of bed and over to the window.

He opens the window and crawls out.

He pokes his head back into his house.

Grabbing some blankets.

He turns to me and smiles.

“Hey.”

Curling a blanket around my chilling skin.

Taking one for himself too.

His hair is a mess.

Tangled within itself.

Looking at the sky we lay next to each other.

I rest my head on his chest.

My head fit perfectly into the curls that naturally formed there.

“I missed you today.”

I blush, “Yeah me too. I was sick.”

I wasn’t I just didn’t want to go to school.

He moves his hand to curl around me.

He moves his head to look at me and so do I.

He kisses me.

Softly and slowly.

It leaves me breathless.

I snuggle into him more.

Letting our body heat comfort us both.

Laying there under the night sky and leaves all around, it feels like a movie.

The night is so perfect.

We talked a little and snuggled more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m on the streets.

I look down, my clothes are tattered.

My heart is racing.

I start walking.

Puddles of water from beneath my feet.

I see Micheal down the street.

I try to run and run and run.

But I seem to go nowhere.

I stop in my tracks.

I can’t scream for help.

My vocal cords won’t work.

The water is like glue.

My shoes are stuck.

I try to take my feet out of my shoes, hoping it will work.

“If you break the rules, I will end you,” Micheal’s voice echoes from behind me.

This scares me even more.

I turn my body to look at his dead black eyes.

I try to move but fail again.

I curl up into a ball and scream...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, hey are you okay,” he is sitting over me.

Finally awake I sit up.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” still shaking, “What happened.”

“You were freaking out and pretty much having a seizure.”

I look at him with a dazed look on my face.

Confused I say “I’m sure it’s fine.”

Dismissing him completely I slip my body closer to him.

Hoping he’ll just drop it.

He does.

He kisses my forehead.

My skin heats up.

I close my eyes and wish for this to never stop.

“Hey, I have to go,” my eyes flutter open.

“Oh, ok, talk later.”

I guess everything has to end at some point.

He crawls back into his room.

I stay staring at the sunrise.

Laying there.

The cool breeze sneaking under my PJs.

Sliding off the blanket, I feel relieved.

Eventually, I summoned the courage to climb back to my room.

Years after years of pain flood back as I enter the house.

I need to get out of here.

Downstairs the kitchen is silent.

The silence is the medicine I’ve been needing for so long.

No glass smashing, no yelling or hitting.

I slowly and quietly grab one of the small numbers of glasses we have left.

My bare feet are sliding on the kitchen floor.

“Ow,” I yelp.

“Goddamnit,” I say lowering my voice.

I small shard of glass sends pain up my foot.

Grabbing the tweezers that live on the kitchen counter.

Painfully pulling the shard out of my foot

A small bit of blood drips out onto the kitchen counter.

“Morning huit,” by the sound of my mom’s voice I shoot my head up.

Placing the blood-covered glass in the garbage I announce “You’re up early.”

“So are you,” she retorts.

“Didn’t you work last night?”

“No my work gave me a week off because I was struggling about your father.”

I roll my eyes, “Sure.”

I start to walk away.

She slightly tries to stop me.

I stop, still looking down at my feet.

She moves her arm.

Treading up the narrow stairs I start to cry.

My mom has always been kinda a push-over.

But her confidence has risen since Micheal’s “disappearance.”

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Waking up early on a Saturday sucks! I think.

But not being able to go back to bed is worst.

Slumping out of bed like I have to do every morning.

Max is out in the hallway already ready.

I look at him feeling all groggily.

“Hey, Kiddo.”

“Hey, wanna go get some ice cream.”

“Sure,” A smile grows upon my face.

“I’ll be right out,” my brother runs to his room as I head past my old life to the car.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We made jokes and had loads of fun.

I got my regular and Max got some oreo thing.

After eating the ice cream we headed home.

“Where is dad?” Max asked.

The sound of him saying that makes me cringe.

“He’s not coming home for another month.’’

Max doesn’t ask any more questions.

And I’m glad he doesn’t.

 

Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The month goes by pretty fast.

(Him) and I went on our first date.

And our second.

And third...

They were all more magical than the last.

When Micheal gets home I don’t come out of my room.

I can hear the door open.

I hear voices.

Max running down the stairs to hug him.

Faintly I hear mom greeting him.

He ignores her.

He heads up the stairs toward my room.

I hear his hand banging against my door.

BANG! BANG!

I near my window.

The banging continues.

Scared I climb out my window, shutting it quietly.

I scramble away and look around.

I wonder if I should climb down and run or stay out here or...

I knock on his window.

He walks toward it.

He opens it.

I climb through the window.

His tender arms calm me.

“Sorry my, my dad is home.”

I can feel his muscles tense up.

“Don-” I start until I hear the sound of wood breaking.

I start shaking.

I go to take a few steps back to sit on his bed.

Stumbling a little I’m able to sit down.

Still shaking.

I can hear my dad’s shattering voice.

The sound of all my stuff being thrown in a hurry to find me.

He comes near me.

Sitting on his own bed.

I start crying.

Moving my shaky hands to cover my face.

I feel stupid sitting on his bed; crying.

I curl up into him.

I look into his eyes.

I can see tears forming.

I don’t want to see him cry so I bury my face.

He rests his head on mine.

I can’t hear any noise coming from my room.

He understands what I’m about to do and he doesn’t seem to like it.

I slowly try to get up.

He ever so slightly fights against me.

Along with him, my legs follow suit.

He looks over at me.

My heart aches.

I climb through.

I make my way to the window.

My room is trashed.

This fills me with anger.

My body seems to come back to life.

Springing out the window, I hop into my room.

I can hear his feet thumping downstairs.

My mom is cowering in her room like a wimp.

*breath* My brother bouncing off the walls.

He is so happy Micheal is home.

I wanna scream.

Blood flushes through my entire body, running a marathon.

I plop down on my bed.

I freeze.

I don’t hear anything for a few seconds.

Then the loud sound of anger.

I rush to the window.

He comes barreling through the room.

He rips the door from its hinges.

I freeze with fear.

He starts screaming about how it was my fault.

Looking that I was about to climb through the window, he freaks.

I had almost gotten the window open enough for me to crawl through.

Walking over he slams the window on my hands.

The glass shatters with the impact.

Several pieces of glass slice through my flesh.

Almost like in slow motion, the blood drips.

One drip at a time.

The blood is so ruddy red.

I don’t scream, I don’t cry.

I just stand there dazed.

I felt the pain.

I mean I feel the pain.

But the pain is mute.

He turns to me and slaps his hand across my face.

I lift my hand to grab my face.

Glass cut my flushed skin.

My face burns.

I start to cry.

Micheal stares at me.

A mixture of blood and tears run down my face.

“Is this what you want?” I glance over at the door and see my brother.

“Is this what you want your son to see? Do you want me to just bleed or just want me to suffer? Are you trying to kill me? Am I just that horrible of a daughter?”

I look at him.

He looks befuddled.

I shake my head at him.

Years earlier I remember mom doing this same thing to him.

Shaking her head, crying, disappointed.

Only he hadn’t stopped the years before.

Now standing in front of me he froze.

Taking his cold hand he grabs my neck and slams me against the wall.

I don’t even struggle.

His cold hard grip tightens.

I reach for his hand.

I look over, Max hasn’t left.

Cutting him, leaving a streak of warm blood to fall onto my pants.

Micheal jerks back in pain.

Gasping for air.

I look at my hand and almost faint.

My dad stumbles out of the room.

I pull the glass out of my hand, more blood flooding.

Stumbling over to my desk.

I cover my cuts.

Grabbing the bandages I wrap just tight enough.

My neck and head both ache.

Reaching for my neck I swallow.

It hurts.

Looking around my room I don’t feel safe.

I look down to see a black dot.

My hair tumbles down with my head.

I lower my body low enough for the dot to be at head length.

A red light flickered right next to the dot.

I reach my hand out.

Picking up a...a...camera.

I rip it from its cords and sparks fly.

The camera shuts down.

I smash it on the ground and stomp on it.

I stare at Max, tears running down his splotchy face.

I shake my head and look down at the floor.

His footsteps echo all the way back to his room.

 

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

We follow the roads west as far as they go.

I keep my seat all the way back.

Only looking up when I hear the sound of water.

We’ve driven past two national parks to get here.

And we’re finally here.

The Lake looks stunning.

The water trickles downstream.

I get out of the stuffy car.

Taking in the warm breeze and the smell of the water.

He slowly starts to change into his bathing suit.

I follow in pursuit after him.

The cold water cooling my body.

I climb into the Lake as it surrounds me.

He ushers me closer.

I swim toward him.

I feel the water cool, natural water climbs my body.

Still moving my legs he grabs my waist.

He kisses me.

Drawing me in.

I wrap my legs around his body.

He chuckles but keeps me close.

I stare at him, a smile crawling across both our faces.

I let go of him.

I look at him with a grin on my face.

Teasing him, I swim away.

He swims after me.

I race in the deeper areas.

I laugh.

I go underwater to get my hair wet.

I go to move my leg but it gets caught on something.

I’m stuck.

I can’t move, I look a few feet in front of me.

I can’t see much.

The dirty lake water floods my lungs.

My hair is going crazy.

My eyes are stinking.

I close my eyes briefly.

My lungs seem to give up.

I can’t die like this, is all I can think.

My limbs go limp.

I start to move farther into the depths.

Seconds later my almost lifeless body is being carried up to the surface.

He carries me to a shallower area.

I gasp for air.

“You scared me so much what the hell” he screams.

When I start crying his expression changes.

He carries me back to the car.

In the passenger’s seat, I curl up into a ball.

He sits on the hood.

I bury my head into my curled up body.

He sighs.

Looking out at the water.

Resting my hands on my neck.

I just cry.

It’s all I can do right now.

He looks at me through the window.

My waterproof mascara is untouched.

For minutes I sit there.

I throw my clothes over the suit.

They are instantly soaked.

I know I ruined the whole trip when he gets in the car to drive us back.

The entire drive is in silence.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When getting home, I stalk up to my room.

My mom looks at me when I enter.

Almost to my room, Max gives me a hug.

I look at him stunned.

I’m no longer soaking wet but still, this family isn’t much for affection.

Before he lets me get a word out he lets go and runs away.

I continue to my room.

I drift off to sleep for a few hours.

Stripping clean of my once wet clothes I stand in my room.

I walk over to my drawer and open the middle cabinet.

It’s roughly 3 am.

I grab some PJs and slip them on.

I slip on the shorts, the lace itches for a few seconds then dissipates.

Next, my shirt.

It read, “Cute but Psycho, But Cute.”

I laugh when reading it once more.

Stacey gave this to me when I turned 16.

I can’t believe they even still fit.

I’m not what you would call skinny.

I glance at my phone.

Stacey has texted me like six times.

Hey party, rn!!!

Come on!!

GET UP

Lol

Come get drunk with us…

Yasss

I reply with…

Sure, why not.

Also using proper grammar.

I climb out of bed and out of the PJs I JUST put on.

Instead, I put on some cute clothes.

A cute crop top that is white but furry.

And the same shorts as well.

I grab my phone and head out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stacey sends me the address and I arrive pretty quick.

Once there I’m surprised how this thing hasn’t gotten shut down yet.

I pull to the ruckus of cars.

Then I see a cop car.

Confused, I walk inside.

Seeing Stacey I understand.

I guess the jock from Ela wasn’t enough for her.

The cop is completely wasted just like Stacey.

And they are definitely making out.

I’m surprised at how many half-dressed highschoolers there are.

When she has a second to catch her breath she calls me over.

I feel weird intruding on her makeout session but I do.

“Hey get a drink like the rest of us.” I’ve never drunk before so I’m hesitant.

And I don’t wanna turn out to be like my dad.

“Tracey, help hiut out.” Tracey walks over to me.

She grabs my arm and takes me over to the table

She grabs me a cup with something in it.

I take it but don’t drink any of it.

“Take some I isinster, insist, yeah yeah insist. Ha.”

I take a sip and it doesn’t taste too.

Walking around the party I sip little by little, more and more.

Filling up the cup again.

I chug it down in seconds.

I don’t even feel bad.

Tracey walks over to me.

“Lol,” she stumbles over “Have some more, come on don’t be a p****.”

At that remark, I grab some more and chug it down.

A bunch of people gathered around me.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!,” it seems like fun so I do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a cup still in my hand and almost completely out of it someone yells “Who wants to play Spin the Bottle?”

I perk my head up.

I sit down and it begins.

Downing the rest of my cup I’m officially out of it.

 

While Drunk:

 

He walks in when I go to spin the bottle.

I don’t see him and as the bottle lands on someone, I catch their eye.

When I see him I freeze, I know him.

For a second I sober up.

My mind clears and I know exactly who he is.

His smile makes me shiver.

But like I said I only sober up for a minute.

“Kiss! Kiss!” I hear (or more rather I don’t really hear).

He leans in and so do I.

It feels so intense, especially for being drunk(which has never happened before).

He grabs my neck and pulls at my hair.

I put my hand on his hip.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again I’m in awe.

I’m sitting in a bed with a sleeping Jake Williams.

My clothes are strewn across the floor and a thousand texts from people.

I shiver and clutch my side of the covers.

Once more I look at Jake and then grab my phone.

“He” has texted me so much.

I open the texts from Stacey first though.

You were insane last night.

I get up, throw on my old clothes and stagger out of the room.

There are people littered everywhere.

I ignore Stacey and I look at the texts from Him.

When I open them there are 10 messages.

What the hell bitch

I can’t believe you did that.

Wow, and you won’t even respond.

Have fun with your side Hoe

Hope he’s better than me

You know what fuck you

There is so much more.

I’m so sorry, I was so wasted last night. I didn’t even realize what was happening.

I can see that he has read it but it takes forever for him to respond.

Sure whatever

And that’s it…

Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

All through, first hour Stacey was texting me and complimenting me on my “time with Jake.”

“He” hasn’t talked to me at all or texted me.

I kinda feel like a slut.

In my second hour, I start to freak out.

I have to sit next to him and Holy Hell Imma Die.

Once seated I can feel my heart jump.

He doesn’t even look at me.

The whole hour is like this.

Until he turns to me and whispers,

“So how was Jake,” I almost roll my eyes.

“I told you, I was drunk and I would never do that again.”

I get a text on my phone.

Stacey.

Not a good time.

I open it and it reads,

OMG guess what I just heard.

“HE” cheated on you at the party, only before you did.

He left for like an hour before you came and got totally wasted.

My expression changes.

I turn to him.

He looks at me confused.

Like he would have no idea of why I would be mad at him.

“You, you cheated before me?”

I look at him.

My eyes burning, I stare at him.

He looks at me, with a blank stare.

“Excuse me?” he snaps, “We’re talking about you, not me.”

My head snaps in his direction.

“No, no, no, I’m talking about you now.”

“Ok, fine yes. Is that what you wanna hear.”

“Were you drunk? Or what?” he stares at me.

I start to quiet down again.

I see some people looking over at us.

“No,” he looks away.

A tear slides down my cheek.

“Oh wow, at least I was drunk. You know what, maybe Jake was better than you, but I’m sorry I don’t remember. But you sure as hell do. Who is she? Was she good?”

I’m crying now and yelling.

Even the teacher has stopped to look at us by now.

“Huh, I’m sorry can’t hear you.”

He looks at me and I see a tear in his eye.

I grab my stuff and I storm out of the room.

“Mrs. Idon’tknow,” the teacher calls after me.

I walk out of the school.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time; 9:45

Yeah, I’m skipping school today.

I think, then I hear my dad downstairs.

I forgot he was home.

I walk down the stairs.

When I do, he grabs my arm.

He grabs it too hard.

He hasn’t messed with me since I told him off the other day.

“You are an ungrateful little piece of shit.”

Max is already out of the house, and so is my mom.

I need to get a job so I can get out of the house more.

“Let go of me,” I struggle to get out of his grasp.

He doesn’t lose hold of my arm.

Actually, he tightens his grip.

“Ow.”

He smiles at me.

He’s drunk again.

I can see the bottles in the back.

He smacks me.

My mouth starts to bleed and so does my nose.

I start to bring up my other hand but he grabs that one too.

Then taking both our hands and smashing them against my head.

I look over at him.

A mixture of tears and blood fall to the floor.

"If you ever disobey me again, I won't be as nice as last time."

He lets go of me and walks out of the house.

I fall to my knees.

Into a small pile of blood.

My pajama pants are soaked with red.

The puddle only grows more.

I bring my hand up to my bleeding mouth.

I know I’m not going to tell anyone.

I never do.

I walk upstairs and get ready for another shitty day.

I look at my phone as soon as it vibrates.

He messaged me.

I'm sorry.

Francis came onto me.

Francis?

I shift my messages over to Stacey.

Who's Francis?

She responds almost instantaneously.

Um, I think she's one of the bad cheerleaders.

Ug, cheerleaders.

Thx.

Wow, I can't believe him.

No prob, bitch. Lol

I get off my phone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need to get a job.

I think.

ASAP

I'll skip the details but after about an hour of searching, I found a job.

I just need a bit more money.

In order to buy my house.

And getaway.

I don’t start work for another week.

So I have to find something to keep me busy and away from the house.

Anyway...I think as I look at the hundred messages from him.

Okay fine, I click onto them.

I swear I’m sorry.

she came onto me frist

First*

I didn’t mean it.

She means nothing to me

I wanna turn to him and say, “That’s what I said to you and you told me off,” but I keep my fingers still.

From what I was told, Tracey set her up to it.

At this, I almost drop my phone.

TRACEY!!

Was this Stacey’s plan too, or…

I don’t text him right away.

I’m barely even able to look at my phone for a few minutes.

Instead, I walk over to my bed.

Turning on my bedside light I lay down.

Combing my fingers through my hair.

I stare at my ceiling.

My eyes continue to surf my room.

It looks better than the last time he was in my room.

My eye catches on a picture on my wall.

A picture of a lake.

A picture I got because it reminded me of his eye,

I look at my phone again, I click onto his name.

I almost break out into tears.

How could I have been this stupid?

Okay, so what now…?

He looks at the message.

Take me back?

 

Well, I never ending anything but yeah.

I can see that he’s looked at it.

I stare at my phone.

Nothing.

Seconds later, I turn around to the sound of tapping.

I can see his sparkling eyes.

I smile and walk over to the window.

Opening it.

Right after I close it he grabs me.

Kissing me with such passion.

I curl my hand through his combed hair.

The air intensifies.

It grows warm.

I barely have time to breathe, but when I do it comes out as a whimper.

I know people are home, but I don’t say anything.

He pulls me closer.

I almost trip as he steps closer.

Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

I was uninterrupted throughout the whole night.

Well.

Yeah…

I’m so not excited about going to school.

I’m still so pissed at Tracey.

Although I don’t know what she really did.

Opening my eyes to a dark room is new.

And his cool body next to mine.

I look over at him.

I sigh, I can’t wait to be able to get away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I make my way downstairs, hoping no one is home.

My wish isn’t granted, but at least it isn’t Micheal.

Instead, it’s my mom and I can hear Max upstairs.

“Max, hurry up so I can take you to school,” mom yells.

“Coming,” My brother, half-dressed runs over to the bathroom.

I cover up a laugh.

I look upstairs to make sure my door is closed.

I don’t need anyone saying anything about him.

I walk over to the sink and I get some water.

Without using a cup, I lower my head to the faucet.

The tips of my hair get soaked.

I head back upstairs, and to my room.

When I get there, he is putting on his black shirt.

I blush as I walk in.

He turns his head to look at me.

“Hey, how are you,” I ask.

“I have a slight headache, but other than that I’m fine.”

We talk for a few minutes before he leaves.

Laughing and having fun.

But in no time at all, he’s gone.

I lay back against my bed frame.

Resting my head down.

I hear as Mom and Max leave the house.

I sigh.

Grabbing my stuff and getting dressed, I leave for school.

Miserably dragging my head low as I park my car.

I walk toward the entrance.

Still keeping my head low, Stacey walks up to me.

She is talking.

Tracey and Ashley join us.

I side-eye Tracey and I roll my eyes at her.

Her expression changes.

Her head lowers.

He walks up to us.

Putting his arm around my waist.

The conversations sputter out.

“I can’t believe there are only three weeks of school left,” Ashley states, oblivious.

Stacey looks at me.

Tracey looks mad.
He smiles.

“See you in Geography,” he says.

Our group separates.

I wave Stacey goodbye.

As I walk down the halls, I spy Leila.

She is talking to Tracey.

When she sees me, she walks over.

“Hey, bestie,” She says.

“Sure, whatever.”

She seems confused.

“So you’re saying that the other day when you tripped me was nothing?” I retort.

She looks guilty.

But she says nothing.

“That’s what I thought,” I storm away to my first hour.

Math, included our math teacher trying to teach us, but most kids just fell asleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When getting home, Micheal is in my room.

Sealing up my window.

“What are you doing,” as soon as the words slip out of my mouth, I regret them.

“You my cihld, mn. Wa yo tis, tik you ding?”

I look at him.

I walk toward my window.

He hasn’t done much, other than taking school glue to the seal.

He’s drunk.

“Do ye hed mena? Hu?”

“Get out of my room,” he looks stunned.

Seconds later I feel hands on me and a break behind me.

And then a gust of cold wind.

Then my head hits something.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up to there being many glass bottles around me.

My head feels foggy.

I ignore this fact, instead, I focus on how my hands are tied between my back.

And I can’t see much.

It’s very dark in here, where ever here is.

I can’t hear much and then my head starts pounding and it hurts so much.

“Hello!” I scream.

I hear messed up footsteps.

I see Micheal appear out of the darkness.

He slaps me.

My cheeks heat up.

“Sut up you bitoocha,” he is still drunk.

I couldn’t have been here long.

I feel blood slide down the side of my head.

“Where am I?”

“I sad shot up!!” he screams, smacking me a few more times.

Blood spools from my mouth.

He hits me and I’m out again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is dry blood around me, telling me I’ve been out for a while.

Most of the bottles are gone.

Some of them look new though.

I see Micheal’s silhouette in the corner.

“You are an ungrateful little bitch,” He stays in the darkness, “Did you know that?”

I can tell he isn’t drunk anymore.

“I said, Do you know that?”

“Actually you said, “Did you know that?” ” I retort, still dizzy from the loss of blood.

He walks up to me.

Towering over me.

“Ok smartass, Did you know that?”

I laugh a little bit.

He grabs my hair, pulling my head up.

“ANSWER ME!” He screams.

“No, okay no I didn’t.”

He laughs, “You didn’t huh?”

He slightly walks away.

“Where am I?” I ask, “Why am I here?”

He stops.

“Shut up.”

Minutes later, he disappears.

I’m left alone.

A hear a slam far away.

Once more I doze off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When my eyes open, no one is around.

The cold hard chair makes my back hurt.

On the floor, I notice marks, roughly half a foot long each.

I can’t hear a thing, but the bottles are piling up.

My head is throbbing.

I look around the room.

The chair I’m in is old.

Both my hands and legs are tied.

My vision is blurred.

The walls look like they’re cracking.

I try to move the chair but instead I hit my head.

Knocking me out, again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of liquid on the ground wakes me up.

I can see Micheal pouring alcohol on the ground, near my head.

“Gross!”

I roll my eyes at him.

“Great, you’re awake,” he said sarcastically.

“Why?”

He looks confused.
“Why am I here,” he stays seated.

“Curz.”

He lifts my chair up.

I roll my eyes again.

He doesn’t seem to notice.

“Can I have some water? I’m really thirsty.”

He looks at me and for a minute, doesn’t reply.

He then stands up and picks up a beer.

“Do you have any water?” I ask again.

“This is good enough,” he growls.

He forces me to drink it.

I almost choke as he does.

“Ok, ok I’m good.”

He then finishes it off.

Smacking me again for no reason.

I can taste the copper in my mouth.

“What was that for?” I ask.

He doesn’t respond.

Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

I’ve dozed in and out of consciousness several times.

Sometimes Micheal is there, sometimes he isn’t.

I feel like I’ve been here for a few days.

Every now and then I see light poking in.

This time, when I opened my eyes, Micheal is there.

He is standing above me.

“You know, you’re a stupid, useless daughter.”

I can’t even react.

He smiles.

My limbs are aching ad they feel as useless as he calls me.

Pouring alcohol on my head, I’m filled with rage.

I look up at him.

Reaching for his hand.

I bite into the flesh.

He jumps back, but I hold my grip.

“Let go of me you stupid girl,” he retorts.

But I don’t.

I pierce through the skin, leaving him bleeding before he hits me in the head.

I feel dizzy.

I can hear him cursing under his breath.

Somehow I feel safer now.

Then he turns so quickly.

Bringing his hand, at a rapid pace, against my face.

Once again...Out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I ram the chair against the wall, hoping to make some noise.

Instead, the ceiling releases some dust.

I groan I’ve been here for so long, and my most recent bath was with beer.

My hair is all knotted, and I’m a mess.

Externally and Internally.

I’m miserable.

He will go to jail for this, I think.

I only have a few more months until I’m 18 and now this happens, I still can’t even afford my perfect house.

I can feel myself crying.

All of what has happened and what is happening dawns on me.

I can’t stop the tears.

They roll down my face, like a waterfall.

Even when Micheal walks in, I can’t stop it.

His booming steps echo.

He looks at me.

And he chuckles.

I struggle to lunge at him and I fail.

He takes another sip from his beer.

Sitting in the corner, on the ground.

He leans into the wall.

Chugging three more beers in less than a minute.

I stare at him.

He stares at me too.

We hold each other’s gaze for a minute.

Then he breaks it.

“What do you want?” he asks.

I don’t respond, I don’t need too.

Instead, I steady my gaze at the pile of bottles.

And the piles of full bottles too.

I’m still slightly crying.

I lean my head back, slightly hitting my head against the wall.

I sigh.

Blowing some hair out of my face.

I haven’t been able to use my hands or my legs in so long and they ache more.

I haven’t eaten.

And all I’ve drunk is a sip of water(that fell from the ceiling) and some alcohol.

I’m so tired even though I’ve “slept” a lot lately.

So tired.

Tired.

Tir

Ti

T…

Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

I awake to no one around me.

I’m tired of sitting here.

I shift my body to the side.

I look over and I see a small shard of glass on the ground.

I make my way over to it, as well as I can.

Once inches away, I shift to my side.

Falling over I wiggle backward.

I reach the glass.

It’s rough edges slice my skin.

I wince at the pain.

But I continue by cutting the ropes that are keeping me here.

When they come free.

I struggle back a laugh.

With my free hand, I cut loose my feet.

I get to my feet and automatically fall.

It doesn’t make too much noise.

I make my way to my feet again and cling onto the walls.

I make my way down a slim corridor.

I feel like I have no understanding of how to use any part of myself.

I have no clue where I am.

I see a door at the end of the hallway.

I almost run to it, tripping only once.

Then I hear it.

“Hey!” he screams.

As soon as I’m out the door, I sprint.

As fast as I can.

I can’t recognize where I am.

But I still run.

I don't look back.

I can’t.

No way.

I’ve come so far, and if I do, I'll break down right here.

In the middle of the street.

I run to the street until I look back.

I don’t see him so I run to a nearby house.

Knocking on their door.

When they open the door they seem to recognize me and they usher me into their home.

It’s a sweet couple.

The man looks at me but only the woman speaks.

“Honey, are you okay?”

Their faces don’t look confused, they look scared.

“How do you know me?” I ask.

“Honey, you’re all over the news. You’ve been missing for two weeks.” I can see the concern in her eyes.

“You were presumed dead.”

I shudder, my jaw drops.

That long? I wonder.

The man hands me a blanket and moves me to the couch.

I curl up on their couch.

“Honey, can you tell us what happened?” She moves closer to her husband.

“Um, I um. He, he, kidnapped me.” I say.

I look around, scared that he’ll find me.

“Who?” the man asks.

I move my gaze over to him.

“I-I, Micheal.”
The man looks confused.

I hear a knock on the door.

“He’s here,” I whisper.

“That must be the pizza man, Sorry we weren’t expecting the company,” the woman says as she looks at me.

“No, it’s him,” I say.

“Honey, who is Micheal?” the man asks again.

“My-my d, dad.” I manage to get out.

He looks over at his wife.

“He followed me, that could be him!” I exclaim.

The wife looks out the window.

“Just pizza.”

I feel relieved.

I shiver at the thought of him finding me ever again.

“Let me call your parents,” the lovely woman says.

“No!” I scream.

I lower my voice, “Please no.”

When I look back at the couple, the wife is paying for the pizza and the man is dialing…

9...1...1…

He tells them about me and my “story.”

The receiver on the other side says “We’ll be there as soon as possible.”

The man hangs up and turns to me.

“Have you eaten lately?” he asks.

“I haven’t eaten since the day I went missing,” at this the woman turns to me, “and all I was allowed to drink was his alcohol and a sip of water.”

“My dear, I must get some food and water into your system.”

“Thank you,” and I truly mean it.

I don’t say, “Thank you so much,” those are just filler words for people we don’t understand how amazing the simple words of, “Thank you,” is.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can see the police talking to the couple as I leave.

They’ve gotten as much out of me as they could.

Before they pushed me into a cop car.

When arriving at the station mom and Max are already there.

Mom’s first question to the police is “Where is my husband.”

A policewoman says, “Ma'am your husband is a criminal and if we catch him, he won’t be home for a long time.”

The first to see me is Max.

He runs over to me and hugs me so tight.

I cling onto him.

I feel the heat of a human body against mine again and I almost wince.

At least he doesn’t have to deal with our dad anymore.

I sigh in relief.

The police question me.

I tell them as much as I know,

I insist that I’m fine to go home and they let me.

With my true family.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I throw my crap into the air.

I cling onto his side.

He turns me and kisses me.

“Wo!” he exclaims.

All my love and happiness returns to my heart.

I no longer feel empty and alone.

He fills that spot inside me.

 

Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

To this day Micheal still hasn’t been found.

I always joked about him disappearing in Canada.

But if that was true, I feel bad for Canada.

I manage to make it out of school alive.

Stacey, Tracey, and Ashely eventually stop talking to me.

And Leila and I don’t survive the shark swarm of high school.

But he and I do.

Mom even agreed to help me with the house.

Now standing here in front of my house, I can smile.

Walking in I smell the new house smell.

The house doesn’t look brand new.

There are no spots of carpet.

But it’s mine.

It’s ours.

Mom, Max and he help me move boxes out of the van and into the house.

When we’re done I grab him and I kiss him.

I walk through the house.

Taking in every aspect of this place.

I moved far away from my home.

To getaway.

But yet I took somethings with me.

I unpack my stuff for about a week.
And the place is a mess, but it feels good that it’s mine.

I got rid of a ton of childhood things.

Spreading out all over.

I feel bad for Max.

He has to live with Mom, in that house, that place.

I still shudder at the thought of living there still.

But I continue to look at the unpacked stuff.

And at this home, those months before I could have only dreamed about.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting on the hood of his car again, in the dairy queen parking lot.

We are talking.

We’ve been talking for hours now.

Holding hands, watching the clouds and talking.

It’s been five months since I’ve moved in and Micheal’s whereabouts are unknown.

But right now feels perfect.

Being with him feels perfect too.

Me.

Him.

Together.

Is.

Perfect.

And we both know it.

Even our names are perfect for each other.

A dairy queen worker comes out and brings us our meal.

“Thank you, Sally,” I say.

“Wow, you’ve really gotten to know their names,” he acknowledges when she leaves.

“Well I mean I work with her sooo,” I say.

He laughs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Dairy Queen friends congratulate me.

I’m the new manager.

All my new friends are excited for me.

The old manager chose me over Karleigh.

Everyone hates Karleigh.

She is a bitch to everyone.

Everyone is relieved that I got it over her.

I’m more lenient.

Plus I get more money.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He is down on one knee and I’m crying.

“Will you marry me?” I cover my mouth.

“Yes, yes, one hundred times yes!” I exclaim.

He hugs me and spins me in his arms.

I kiss him.

He kisses me back.

Everyone around us claps.

I feel like those people when we hug and kiss in the park.

We’ve been together for two years and we are “high school sweethearts.”

Even Stacey is jealous of us.

Especially Tracy is jealous.

I giggle into his neck.

“I love you,” he whispers into my ear.

I blush.

We finish our picnic and he drives me home.

I wave goodbye.

He hasn’t moved in yet.

I walk into the house.

It smells like peppermints.

It’s almost Christmas.

There are gifts shoved into the closet.

And a tree decorated in the corner.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you Huit Starbucks, take YEEE JUSbtTF to be your husband?”

“I do,” The day is perfect.

On this beautiful day, our love burns brighter than a million suns.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You may now kiss the bride,” he pulls me into a kiss.

I can feel the thrill.

The excitement rushes through my veins.

I’m now Mrs. JUSbtTF.

I guess now you’ve figured out what the black marks are.

Our names.

Our names reveal a more personal aspect to the story.

A sense of trust, understanding.

I’ve lost the trust of many people.

 

Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Two years since our marriage.

I walk over to him.

Kissing him.

My stomach has grown to my third trimester.

And Twins.

I look around, the gender reveal balloon is right in front of me.

I look at it.

I can’t wait for the party.

Only three hours, I think.

I just have to wait three hours.

I stare at it with intensity.

Almost hoping it would pop right now.

He walks in.

“Hey Sweetheart, only a few more hours?” he hugs me, “Are you hungry.”

I laugh, “Always.”

He grins at me.

He walks into the kitchen.

“What do you want?”

“Everything,” I laugh, “ Ice cream.”
He looks at me.

“Okay,” he looks suspicious.

“Please?” I wine.

He rolls his eyes, “Fine,” then flashes me a smile.

He gets me a bowl of ice cream.

I scarf it down.

He watches me.

When I’m done, I blush.

“What?”

“Nothing,” He looks at me, then walks away.

I sit at the counter.

“You look cute.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Three, Two, One!”

POP!

Blue.

Boys…

I stare at the color.

Falling to my feet.

I look at my feet.

Happy tears fall from my eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can hear them crying.

Little, Asher.

And Little, Owen.

He is holding my hand as the nurses walk in with them.

The nurse puts Little Asher in my arms.

I stare at the baby in my hands.

The other nurse hands “him” Owen.

Both their eyes sparkle.

They are both yelling.

“He” looks at me.

I move Owen closer to Asher.

They’re identical twins.

They are beautiful.

They are both perfect.

My beautiful babies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold hard ground.

I put my hands out in front of me.

A pebble stabs me.

I see Micheal in front of me.

He is staring at me.

He is standing still.

I scream.

“Don’t come near me!” I yell.

Micheal continues to stare.

Doing nothing.

I stumble backward.

Into a wall.

“What do you want?” I yell.

He takes a step.

And another.

Until he is right above me.

He brings down his hand and…

I wake up panting.

“He” is gone but so is Micheal.

I sit up in bed.

I’m drenched in sweat.

I look at my phone.

Time; 4:13.

Day; April 16th.

Me; tired.

I have nightmares almost every night.

I poke my foot out of the bed.

I shiver.

But I proceed to the door.

My head is spinning.

I see Him, his head turns.

His eyes are bloody.

They are no longer the blue that I fell in love with.

I scream bloody murder.

I see Asher walk out of his room.

“NO!” I scream.

Asher looks at me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My heartbeats.

One hundred miles per hour.

Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

“Mommy, come play with us,” Owen is calling for me.

I walk over to Owen and Asher.

My husband is standing next to Asher, playing with them.

I take Owen’s face in my hand.

“I love you,” I say, “All of you.”

I look at Asher and my husband.

“We love you too,” Asher and Owen say.

I stare at them.

Owen ushers me to play with them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I see Max run to me.

He is now almost as tall as I am.

I hug him.

“You’ve grown so much.”

He hugs me back.

“Thank you, big sis,” he smiles.

He looks so old even though he is only thirteen.

“How does it feel to be a teen now?” I ask.

I grab his shoulder and walk with him.

“Great,” he says in a fake deep voice.

We both laugh and I squeeze him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We sit in the tree that connected our old houses.

I have my head resting on his lap.

He runs his hand through my hair.

My eyes are weighed down.

I try not to fall asleep but I fail.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sit and I stare at Micheal’s grave.

“Died in jail,” I hear my now twenty-year-old Owen and Asher approach.

So does my husband.

He holds me.

Curling his hand, tracing my side.

I see as Owen’s wife walks over and he takes her in his arms.

A child growing inside her.

Then I look to Asher, his boyfriend kisses him.

I smile.

We did good, I think as I look at my husband.

As to say he read my face, he pulls me closer and nods at me.

And then he kisses me.

“I love you, hiut,” he says.

“I love you too, Adam.”

I lean back into him more.

I stare into his eyes that still look like the bursting sea.

And I trace my eyes down to his lips.

They reflect how he feels.

It kinda makes him look scared.

I continue to follow his structure down to our intertwined hands.

And down to the floor.

And the disturbed floor next to Micheal’s grave.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

It falls on the ground.

Next to a beautiful flower.

The flowers peddle blow in the wind.

I jump when a bundle of flowers is placed on Micheal’s grave.

I move over.

My mother and Max are standing there.

Adam leads me back to the car.

I feel as a drop of rain falls on me.

I sit in the car in silence.

My hands shake in my lap.

I see my mom and Max walk away as we drive out of the funeral home.

I feel a sense of relief rush over me.

I’ll leave you with a gift for following me through my story.

My name is...

Eve Jabolko.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.02.2020

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To Kalyndra Smith, thank you for standing by me for the entire time. To all my friends and family, thank you for all your love...